The SHE Word - S3/EP3 - Women Childfree

[@everydayisaholiday_]

I was told by people around me that I will eventually want to get married and or have kids someday, but as I age, I haven't changed. I still honestly LOVE ANIMALS more than kids or babies. Motherhood is NOT for everyone. Motherhood is NOT an obligation. Motherhood is NOT a requirement. Motherhood does NOT define a woman's value or worth. If any, singlehood gives you MORE chances of achieving your goals no matter how old you are now.

[@blazingstar9638]

I feel like with some older people they probably went through this too (in a much different time) and eventually decided that having a family and children was the best option. But I think that in most ways it was probably actually the only option. Even if there were something else that a woman might be able to do with their life, although limited, I can’t imagine the amount of pressure and shame they would receive from those around them and society at large, in a much more severe way. It might be why they do it to others, and don’t see the big deal with it because they got it so much worse from society You guys are opening doors for the future

[@cookeechoc8824]

Exactly !!!! Thank you so much for posting that comment, I feel less like a freak now ! My personal life's purpose has always been to rescue and care for animals and I have always preferred animals to humans have never wanted to have children. I don't even like kids, they have all those nasty, cruel instincts that adults repress.

[@chadguindon6909]

As a man, I grew up in a society where men are taught to be providers and protectors. Marriage and fatherhood are not for every man. I enjoy being single/unmarried and childfree because I have so much freedom to do what I want when I want. If that makes me selfish, then fine.

[@littleripper312]

I'm the same way but I find losing my pets so heartbreaking it's almost put me off that too. It can feel like a battle just keeping my dogs alive. This was a big factor in me not wanting kids. Kids are going to be 100x harder than looking after a dog.

[@nowherenothere]

Thank you for caring for animals. They need our love and help the most 🤍🐾

[@chadguindon6909]

As a man, I'm 39 years old, single/unmarried and childfree all by choice. Best decisions that I have ever made for myself and |I have zero regrets. I thinks it's ridiculous to consider singleness and childlessness selfish but I beg to differ. People get married for selfish reasons because they want companionship, sexual satisfaction and financial security. People have children for selfish reasons because they want a mini me, a caregiver and a legacy. It's all about personal gain which is inherently selfish to me.

[@Just...Peachy]

Well said!!

[@winter_s_44]

Yep! While I am slightly different as I would love to find a deep and connected partnership, I do believe that we want these things to satisfy desires within ourselves or as insurance policies - particularly parenthood.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

People who want a romantic relationship very badly are a little creepy. You can have deep connections with friends and family, even rent a place with friends instead of a romantic Partner.

[@chadguindon6909]

@@CordeliaWagner1999 Exactly, that is my point. Every reason for wanting marriage is selfish because you want things from that person which is inherently selfish. The phrase "I want..." indicates you are selfish.

[@pm5095]

Well said Sir!

[@jungersrules]

Please keep this in mind ladies, the men who want kids, no matter how earnestly, may want them simply for legacy reasons, and will not necessarily they will actually help raise/take care of them when they arrive.

[@toricollins6516]

Right. Confusing “lineage” with legacy.

[@the8thchurch461]

Their hatred of their own "legacy", children, is why they want women to stay at home.

[@littleripper312]

If I was a man I would be a lot more likely to want kids. How much you do as a man is optional and despite doing less work the kids pass on the mans name. Also a man doesn't have to destroy his body making the kids. The worst thing that can happen is child support but I'd choose that any day over being a single mother.

[@Laoriginal718]

FACTS. A man wanting a baby and a man wanting to be a father are two different things.

[@Laoriginal718]

@@toricollins6516facts.

[@dorinkawira7733]

Just subscribed ..i am 29years old ,kenyan. And i am childfree..i just hope to find a childfree partner if not , I'm good on my own coz i aint having kids for any reasons

[@Cirukanyoro]

I see you Dorin. I too am a child free kenyan

[@Hellen-k5s]

​@@Cirukanyorome 3, Kenyan 28 yrs of age. I love to see y'all

[@jungersrules]

I'm 51 and have not an ounce of regret not having kids, ZERO. Society needs to evolve and accept that there are women who have no desire to have kids. I have a strong mothering instinct, all the negative ones like nagging, hovering, controlling. I think it's definitely has a genetic component because my grandmother abandoned my mom when she was 2 and her sister just a newborn. So, clearly she didn't want kids. And, the way my mom loved, it wasn't good in that there was really no teaching, just loving. Not to sound cold, but your goal should also include raising a good citizen.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@Unshakable369]

Children are not legacies, and it’s rare they take care of you when your old. When your income becomes limited they disappear in the distance grand kids also. I’m living proof with three widows on the my street in the exact situation. My high school friend couldn’t wait for her mothers passing she lived miles away from her mother and that was a tedious burden for a retired flight attendant with free trips.

[@jungersrules]

Men are never or rarely questioned of why they either don't have kids or don't want kids. That, in and of itself, should tell you that this is totally a sexist issue.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

We will tackle this in the forthcoming The HE Word, but this is a woman's point of view so not sexist, simply looking from a woman's perspective - as per all shows on The SHE Word

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@windkraftanlagenkonglomera6209]

I finally feel represented! I got sterilized at 23 because I was born childfree. There was no decision to make, this is just who I am. I often do not feel represented when childfree people talk about the lengthy process of "becoming" childfree. I never had that! So I loved listening to these incredible women!

[@ajalikeasia]

Can you clarify what you mean when you say you “got sterilized because you were born childfree”? Were you born unable to have children and got sterilized or are you saying something else?

[@athousandandonenights11]

@@ajalikeasiaShe probably means that she never wanted kids. She was born not having a desire to birth or raise children. Now she has gotten sterilized and the state of her body matches her lack of desire.

[@windkraftanlagenkonglomera6209]

@@ajalikeasia I mean by that that I never had anything in me that related to reproducing. It felt unnatural to me to have a (possibly) working uterus. One of the first things I remember thinking as a child is how I never want to be a parent. Since I can think I knew that children are not in the cards for me, pregnancy seemed unnatural. I hope I can clarify what I mean! It was never a possibility for me to have a child (psychologically). So I did what I could to make my body fit these feelings. Sterilization was the only option for me.

[@ajalikeasia]

@@windkraftanlagenkonglomera6209 Got cha, thank you for clarifying. I would not have been able to put that together from your first comment. I completely understand what you are saying now.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@PinkWip]

This is a great discussion. I am 36 years old, married, but I knew since an early age I didn't want to have kids. Having no father and a Narcissist mother(that of course I didn't know at the time about this situation), it was always hard for me to feel loved, accepted and happy in my childhood. My mother used to lock me home with my 2 younger sisters so she could go to work. We were poor and she couldn't pay a babysitter. So then she made me mother when I was just a little kid. It traumatized me. Now the last thing I want for myself is to have a kid. I think it is selfless of me to say no children deserve a parent that doesn't want them.

[@annmarieknapp]

If you don't want it don't do it! I wanted my child, did it right prenatally and had all the boxes checked and despite doing it all right my son was born profoundly disabled. I love him more than life itself, but I never would have married or become a mother had I known this was how life turned out. My son deserves better and I can't cure him. He needs 24/7 care his whole life, he is non-verbal, and we have never even had a single conversation. I would die for him in a nanosecond, but this situation is totally devastating and has decimated so much of our lives. It's a risk no matter what, but you can't assume all will go well. And mothers aren't treated well by society, exploited for their fertility, and taken advantage of. And overturning Roe, was our society's way of doing everything to cut off women's autonomy. I assumed this would happen as in part, a backlash, and good for those who are saying no, their choice will not be eliminated.

[@hello-sz7hp]

My discover the cover lights are a different situation than the happy true lamp that

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@Champagnelifeiam]

May the LORD bless and keep you, may the Lord lift up his and be gracious unto you and give you peace. Lord, please bless her and her son as only YOU know how.

[@mariett859]

I believe the problem is, that as a society we do not take motherhood seriously enough. If you had an inclination towards most professions, you would start with education, where you have the opportunity to explore and understand different professions, and after you have done all of that, you get to decide if that is the right profession for you. With motherhood it's not like that at all, some women become mothers because they can only perceive it through the rose-colour and acceptable way that our society sees motherhood. I know some of you mentioned, that you cannot compare being a mother to being a doctor, and you cannot, however, the amount of pressure one experiences with having to look after a small child can be as equally demanding and stressful, as it is after all a full-time job for your life. On top of that, there is no financial compensation, unlike highly pressured roles and some people still have the ideology that raising a kid and running the house is a woman's role, and therefore the mother will experience a great lack of support. I never had the desire to be a mother since I was a child. However, only now that I am in my 30's I fully understand the responsibilities my mother had to raise 2 children, mostly by herself. She worked her back off and sacrificed so much of herself and time to raise us. I respect her immensely for it, but it's not something I see myself doing for someone else at least for now.

[@winter_s_44]

You absolutely CAN compare motherhood to a profession. Why? Because in all professions, including motherhood, in order to perform your role competently and without causing damage, you must possess an inherent proclivity for it. I actually just made a similar comment on another video about a plane crash where one of the pilots responsible failed multiple training sessions and when in the air and something went wrong, he panicked and began pushing random buttons. I commented that people think “you can do anything,” meaning you can be trained to do anything, but that really isn’t the case. There are certain natural abilities you should possess for certain things. In the case of that pilot, he went through a lot of training to become a pilot, including continuing training once he had his license, but he continually failed at being able to keep a level head and think logically when under the gun. He was prone to getting frazzled and someone like that should never have been at the controls. The same thing applies to parenthood. I know I am prone to impatience and that I don’t particularly like being responsible for other people. Could I practice patience in some situations? Sure. But eventually, when I am stressed, if I cannot remove myself or make the situation one I can handle, I will lash out at some point. I will also become resentful having to constantly put my desires and needs on the back burner for someone else. I simply don’t have the temperament to be a parent and cannot “learn” without putting an innocent soul at risk and scarring them while I am trying to learn. So like that pilot, I have no business steering innocent souls. Every job is not for every person. Parenthood is not the exception.

[@ushnishasitatapatra]

Thank you for your insight

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@gitanastanciauskaite3893]

As a childfree woman, who is searching for a job at the moment, sorry but I strongly disagree with Your first statement. Motherhood shouldn't be compared with a job or even profession. @@winter_s_44 This is where the ironic phrase comes in "YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL", why choose, have a real profession and be a mother.

[@gitanastanciauskaite3893]

Having children is a CHOICE and people SHOULD think about having them more responsibly. People deciding to have them shouldn't be treated any better than other people. "You" (in general) should not expect other people give you benefit of the doubt, treat you in any way more superior if you decide to have a kid. And even should not expect that society should raise your child for you.

[@TheArchaeofreak]

Finally! A dialogue we have been in desperate need of.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@transitionsnc]

New subscriber here. This is a beautiful podcast. So thoughtful! I'm a 55 year old American woman - single, never married, no children. It was delightful to hear the perspective of these 3 women. The host also asked very thoughtful questions. I feel like the "child free woman" has been pushed on social media and a lot of times the focus is on how men abdicate their responsibilities and/or how things can go wrong in a relationship after having children. While all this is true, I really liked that this podcast highlighted respect for motherhood and it was nice to hear relationships discussed in a positive manner. For what it's worth, I feel like something is off in the United States when it comes to interpersonal relationships and this has affected families.

[@melissab3217]

I'm also in the US, age 31, and I agree with your point about relationships. Something is definitely off, and priorities are not on community and family as much as they used to be. So many women feel lonely and exhausted in motherhood because we don't have the "village" like we used to.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@melissab3217]

Thank you for having this discussion. I'm childfree, and I've felt like I was always destined to lead a life without kids. Living in the US without guaranteed paid maternity leave or even PTO/sick time, has only furthered my decision. My husband recently went to have the "snip" and discovered that he couldn't have them anyways. It was such a relief to have that decision finally off the table. I finally feel like I can get to the life I want while being the best aunt I can to my niece and nephew.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@samallan6616]

I have dated several women who chose to not bear children. They felt the way I do. I did not help create any children as I did not want to raise children in a society I see as awful. I am now 61 and happily married to a widow who had 3 children. The only bad thing about this episode is the guests are not 'average' women you would find in your average neighborhood. Many women have children for the wrong reasons. All the best!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

Thanks for your comment, but what do you mean 'not average'?

[@wagonwheelgirl8897]

@@theinterviewer_thesheword To go against the grain makes them not average I would say! Choosing the path less traveled and carving our your own is a radical act.

[@blazingstar9638]

@@wagonwheelgirl8897it’s very much more travelled now at least, at my age there are wayyyyy more women who do not have children, than do have them. I guess these ladies were trailblazers!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@samallan6616]

Thank you!@@theinterviewer_thesheword

[@wagonwheelgirl8897]

Thank you for having this discussion, as a married , childfree woman I get hounded about this all the time. My reasons for not having children are taboo- I don't like children (burn her at the stake)! It's also so important to me that my time, identity AND my body are my own. Unfortunately medical institutions often prioristise a woman's fertility over my physical and mental health which can lead to disastrous consequences. I found the discussion at the beginning of the episode about respecting motherhood very interesting as someone who was abused by my mother- I suppose I have a more nuanced view that I respect mothers that care for their children but have no respect for those that have them and harm them. I also noticed that climate change wasn't addressed- something I ask myself is whether it would even be ethical to bring new life into the world when we're on the brink of ecological collapse.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@ladykd2355]

We are not on the brink of ecological collapse. People who have power and control issues in leadership around the globe are trying to convince us that disaster is imminent, but that is simply not the case. If it were true, they would quit building and buying houses just steps away from the beach!

[@minorcadence1]

Loved this discussion. Though the host was irritating the way she would refer to the ladies as 'not having a family' or their decision to 'not have a family'. People without children DO have a family. They have parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends and neighbours who require time money and energy. What they dont have, specifically, is children. Just like parents still 'had a family' prior to children.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

You are right, family is friends, extended family and the people around us. Its true. Noted - and thank you.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

we are about to record a follow up show, and I am going to quote you verbatim - this was a really valid point - thank you again.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comment, in fact, we open the show with YOuR comment. Thank you again for pointing that point out.

[@helenjane4722]

Thank you for your feedback…. We address this directly in the followup episode which is out on Thursday

[@Passionatelycurious91]

I noticed that too!

[@jricrianne]

I never felt the urge to have children even though I tolerated them 😂 motherhood was less appealing when I realized the majority of women around me were unmarried with multiple baby daddies and I didn't want to join that club. The men always start talking about having babies but never about marriage and long-term goals

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@RosettaStoned462]

I never liked kids. I don't find them cute, interesting or entertaining. However, I went through a hard time when we didn't get pregnant. It hit me hard. I had to , and still have to remind myself I love our freedom, money and ability to be selfish. I think it's because society puts such pressure on people to breed. Not to mention, people don't look at facts. Divorce rates, and the amount of people in unhappy marriages, are sobering. Also, I love animals more than humans so we are happy with our 4 shelter dogs 🐶❤

[@pce12345]

Yay to kittens 🤗💖

[@Lady500-x6p]

And puppies😘💋

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Horses! They will be usefull when everything breaks down.

[@pce12345]

​@@CordeliaWagner1999💯 Horses are the best 🐎🐴❤

[@spiritualawakening2753]

Ladies I completely agree with not having a child but it’s almost impossible to find a man who doesn’t want a child and this is super sad !it’s men who pressure women to have kids

[@evildoesnotsleep-x2b]

the fact that people think they're entitles to an opinion in our relationship/ offspring status is the real audacity. whether i want to have kids or not, it remains solely my business

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@SuperGlue4321]

I love how considerate and sensitive these women are about each and everyone they spoke about, even as a joke. Such beautiful, civil people. ❤❤

[@hello-sz7hp]

which lamp burns out first.. IN THE DARK?!?!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@themeditationqueen]

I love this conversation and you ladies are incredibly refreshing to listen to. I almost fell out of my chair when Helen said, "I almost feel like maybe I don't have that gene." I had her same thoughts about babydolls and motherhood since I was child. I waited for the desire for a baby to hit me but it never did. I have felt alone in this perspective for so long so I can't thank you enough for speaking on this!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@ConnieFoster1]

Great interview. I never wanted kids from the time I was a kid. Not even sure when it started, but probably since age 5 when I flat out refused to play with any baby dolls. I'm 45 now and overwhelmed with gratitude that I didn't have them. I could write ten, 500 page novels easily on why😂 I'm glad to see this topic is being more openly discussed. When I was in my mid 20s, I found a book about being childfree and I hid it away in my drawers. I still don't feel comfortable talking openingly about it, especially not talking about the relief and gratitude I feel about it. I will just live thru your interviewees words instead!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@lauramelaniabindiu2862]

I love ur podcast, such good subjects. There is respect from the mommy's side to childfree people, too. I am a mother, but I totally agree with not having children if the people don't want to. Is no one's business what one is doing with their life. The child is not made under society's pressure. Is such an intimate decision.

[@beaulieuc8910]

i wish we had more talk about childfree reasons why we don't have kids. some reasons are because we see so much crime and we don't want to bring kids into the world as victims or murderers. not all kids are nice.

[@blazingstar9638]

Your comment made me consider the fact that back in the day having children was something that gave back to you through physical labour, working to help the household, older children taking care of the younger children and then having the responsibility of taking care of their parents when they got older. So it was a worthwhile investment. Nowadays, you only give to the child everything you can until they are 18 and then they leave and have their own life, with no expectations to be indebted to the parents. They’re just supposed to’be a kid’ once the idea of childhood was introduced just a few generations ago. there’s no incentive anymore for many to just put all of your resources into something that you will get no return from.

[@lauramelaniabindiu2862]

@blazingstar9638 This is an interesting point of view, but I believe that the children are not made to expect something in return. That's what is called unconditional love. U give and give and hope that all works for everyone's good. We do not own anyone, more the children, I suppose.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@pratikshachakravarty8489]

so so so gracious episode. I am so happy to see women talk about being childfree and not go around absolutely bashing people who have them. Loved it. appreciate creating this.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@wakulovszki]

Amazing podcast! Such an incredible circle of women. I’m so relieved and inspired ❤

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@Champagnelifeiam]

I watch 3 siblings have children outside of wedlock (now married), and none of the fathers were interested in being a father, so as a middle child, I never got the maternal gene to want to be a mother, I waited and waited, now eggs are powder...lol so I wanted them in wedlock, but not wanting to be a single parent. Thinking about it, I never envision my life as a mother and I played with dolls..I never received the gene for motherhood, it's bitter/sweet. That's my truth. Wow and these women knew at an early age they didnt want to have children..I'll need to do an intense self reflection.I believe either way will be bitter(no little girl or grandchild) sweet (because I still managed a sweet life without) I'm a fantastic auntie to niece's/nephew's and grand. Retirement and many abroad travels. Thank you LORD.

[@AbreTuMente]

Great podcast!!! Totally agree. Thank you very much!!

[@ellamackenzie5156]

Fantastic podcast ❤ I love how more people are becoming more and more open about this.

[@ChaiTogether]

Great channel! Thanks 🙏🏽

[@ushnishasitatapatra]

53 and CHILD FREE FREE FREE!!! Every year gets better and better for me. I was born with zero desire to breed. I witnessed all the harm that people inflicted on their children and always asked why are people so sadistic? I’ve spent 25+ years as an Art Therapist privileged to help heal 100’s of individuals’ childhood trauma. I am living an incredible spiritual, financial, professional and psychological life to the fullest. I love life to the fullest and have never felt any lack of…..(children, men etc.) Thank you for providing intelligent spaces for women. ✨

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@winter_s_44]

I have been saying since I could form sentences that I did not want children. I did not see anything weird about it. I was kind of wise beyond my years even then and knew that it was a choice because if it weren’t, we’d be asexual beings and there would just be an age at which you became pregnant and gave birth. Like our menstrual cycles, we can’t choose to not menstruate, it starts when it starts (for most women). Since I inherently knew it was a choice, it wasn’t revolutionary in my mind to look at it and decide it wasn’t for me. I don’t recall getting pushback from my family then because it was really only my siblings and my mom - who was a single mom and so probably understood. It was not until I grew up and began voicing this to my friends or in my places of work that I started getting the pushback. That is when I started realizing that to other people, this was a foreign notion. But because I always knew it was a choice, I did not get how people could not get this and why they were so insistent that I would change my mind. The wise elder part of my soul knew it was about them and their inability to accept anything contrary to what they always believed, but of course my ego had moments of wondering if it was me having gotten a notion into my head as a kid and then simply digging in my heels. But eventually, those thoughts stopped. I realized that the same way many women know from childhood that they WANT to have children, I knew from childhood that I DIDN’T, and it is just as valid and it is nothing I need to “re-evaluate.” Even during the period where my ego questioned where this lack of desire stemmed from, I tried to picture myself with children and actually parenting past the stage of infancy and I could not do it and hated the notion. I would be fine “having a baby,” but I don’t want to raise a child. That is when it was cemented for me and my questioning stopped. I knew I was right since I was a child and I now stand firm in my decision as a 39 year old.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@Tictacsizesoul2]

Can’t even call it a decision… since a teen age I thought that all that stuff is gross, annoyed me n I never ever had any desire… then my sister gave birth n I saw all the struggles, that only strengthened my thoughts on this. Yesterday I passed out at 2 am, playing video games, wake up at 10 am w a huge rash all over my body. Turns out it’s a muffin I passed out eating…

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@ChaiTogether]

Very well spoken and mature for 23!:)

[@chuzpah38]

Amazing show with an amazing moderator and awsome and wise guests! I'm going to follow this show from now on!👌🏾🙌🏽👊🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

❤

[@anitaferreiradearaujodebon3626]

I have started watching the Podcast recently, from Season 1, and MY GOSH look at the comment section on this topic! HA! The opening to this show was SO accurate; childless has been around for a very long time but recently women have felt empowered enough to say 'because I simply don't want to', and that is enough. I realized how big this issue is when I came out to my father in my early twenties - his first reaction was literally saying 'It would have been better to have a child first!'. I do not think him ignorant or judge him for it - he is from a different time where the ultimate goal for a successful person was a good job, a house in your name and a family. This has changed. My wife and I discussed having children at length, but at the end of the day it just boiled down to us not wanting out life to be any different to what it is now - about each other, financially great, a lot of time for leisure and each other and all the things we love, without having to think about taking care of a child for the rest of their life. Great show. Much needed and respect to all the women (and men) out there living their truth! We all get one life; it's not selfish to live it for yourself, just the way you want to!

[@galeador]

best podcast ever!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@labeenausmani9696]

Since 21 I made that decision and I never felt that it's for me now 27 still I haven't changed my mind every passing day my decision is going firm

[@SR-mv2mf]

Even if we were to buy the argument that child free people are “selfish”, so what?. What is wrong in being selfish as long it is not directly interfering with the physical well-being of another soul why should we care and take responsibility for anyone but ourselves?

[@purpleelixir]

Spot on!

[@milliem8051]

Parents are most selfish, I didn’t choose to be here and have of work and pay taxes. My parents also really let me down, I often wonder why they even had me.

[@emrk6517]

I played with baby dolls when I was under 6 years old. But that doesn't signify much, kids can playact anything, doesn't mean they want to be, I don't know, cowboys or something when they grow up. I knew at around 10 I was really unlikely to have kids, and I said so all through my teens. I'm now 45 and I've never had an urge to have a kid. I don't hate kids, but I don't especially like them either. Children are people, they are sensitive and you must treat them well, and also teach them to respect other people in an age appropriate manner starting from when they are small. Also, kittens rule!

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@amydearing9866]

I've been vocal ALL my life about not wanting kids and not wanting to get married. As a result, my family and friends and coworkers have just accepted it. Maybe if my mom hadn't died when I was 18, she would have tried to pressure/guilt me into trying to get married and have kids but she did and I've been making my own decisions in life for almost 30 years.

[@karlad4082]

Women. Stop fearing getting old without anyone being able to take care of you. You actually don’t need anyone if you stay healthy and strong. Maybe you’ll need someone to run errands for you when you’re sick, but that’s why apps were invented. Start eating a balanced diet, avoid alcohol & smoking as much as you can, and stay away from junk food. Start a meditation routine, lifting weights, and volunteer to give your life purpose. There is no secret to happiness, it’s literally just common sense. Men and children don’t provide you with happiness because happiness comes from the inside out .

[@WillinggToFail]

I'm only about a third of the way through, but I wholeheartedly agree. When I was a little girl, I thought I'd have kids because (a) I thought it was cute and (b) I literally thought that's what everyone did. I only knew one woman growing up who didn't have children or a man. I kept my romantic view of motherhood long into my thirties, but started questioning it some time around age 33. I started looking at the reality of children and realized I didn't want it. Marriage had never interested me, but I grew up COGIC (Church of God In Christ) and was inundated with the belief that children outside of wedlock (or rather, the sex that makes the children) was a sin. So I was resigned to the idea that I'd have to get married in order not to piss God off. I'm almost 37 now and have come to realize over the past 4 years that I in fact do not want to parent. The reality of children is wholly unappealing. I don't want the responsibility of guiding someone through a life I'm still trying to understand. Beyond that, there's the real truth that everyone who is born has to die. Consigning someone to that fate while telling them you love them is cruel. I value my life and the lives of others, however I think it's the height of narcissism to snatch someone out of nonexistence for my own desire and force them into a life neither I nor they can truly predict. There's more, but I think this is long enough. Conversations like these are so important because sometimes, women just don't want to be parents, and that's as legitimate a choice as wanting to be one. Child-free should be just as viable an option as anything else. I need conversations like these to know I'm not alone in my choice, and I truly believe that it helps countless others who might being feeling the same. Thank you.

Thank you for the show and perspectives... would be unteresting to hear more on the subject from women who are childless not by choice and how they life turned out after e.g. infertility struggles

[@tsilver3204]

Can we also talk about child free by circumstance. For me, there is no choice. Ive never been financial enough to own my own home. Ive never had a relationship that lasted. Im a normal well adjusted person who may well have chosen to have kids, but literally couldn't. Why on earth would i chose to be a poor, working, single mother? If i see my old friends, do you think i want to explain to them that im a social outcast? That their innocent endless family spam photos on social media, make me very uncomfortable? That i still have to put up with jelousy from busy parents and the idea that i couldn't look after children, when i do similar for work. And why would a 40 year old want kids? Were not young any more, life is half over, getting closer to retirement age, menopause and less energy is starting. The whole topic is awkward. They take so much for granted, a house to live in, a husbands income. Financial security into their old age. A family. And then they get to flaunt it around and ask us why we are not the same.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

did you watch the show? Trudy also talks about not being childless by choice.... wise words from you. :)

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@Clleonie]

I would rather not subject another person to a life as a wage slave just to have their basic needs met and in order to survive.

[@spiritualawakening2753]

I love you girls !

[@colecolettecole]

just found your channel ~ this was a very enjoyable conversation ~ as a 68 year old woman who never wanted kids , so many of your discussion rings true ~ i had several reasons for not not wanting kids ~ ( in the 70s & 80s ) 1) i dont like kids or babys no maternal instinct 2) i like peace + quiet 3 ) i dont like cooking 4 ) i wanted to live simply 5 ) wasnt into money or material things so cost was a factor 6 ) kids dont interest me either 7 ) didnt want to contribute to overpopulation now in the 2020s there are more reasons such as more people in the world adds to climate change the part where you talk about your friends having kids ~ this happened to me of course ~ once in my twenties & then again in my late thirties ~ no problem listening to poo talk because i still have these friends ~ im a kind of person that gives people their space so it has helped me all thru my life in many different situations ~ i just let people be & when they are ready to reconnect or whatever ~ im there ~

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@bm5_5_5]

This was so good 🙌🏻

[@SynnKL-uz4iv]

I think our natural state is childfree. None of us were born parents and people voluntarily or unvoluntarily become parents after some time so I find it ridiculous how childfree people are constantly expected to explain why they do not want to change their current/default state. I mean there might be additional reasons for not wanting kids based on personal and external factors but I think the onus to always need to explain is placed on the wrong side

[@Herefortheballoons]

The sad part is that even if women OR MEN just anyone at all can’t make it on one income nowadays. It’s so sad to see this. People need a family. The people who are completely alone have absolutely no hope 😢

[@littleripper312]

Exactly. A big part of the problem is women now have to work and do majority or all of the childcare. It will put off many who are on the fence.

[@Herefortheballoons]

@@littleripper312 this is true. I pay half of everything. Sometimes more. And do most of the childcare and housework.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@bayardhenryalexandra8593]

Very good episode, thank you 💖🫶🏼

[@Passionatelycurious91]

33 yr old and I never had a desire to be pregnant. The expectation that I should give birth makes me very angry about being a woman. I am upset that I am forced into a social system that decides for me. I hate the thought of losing my freedom of choice and my autonomy. I just want to live my life. My husband loves me for me. However, I do not look forward to the microaggressions that will come in the future. Whether its from family, friends, or others.

[@nativekai]

I can't have kids, and I am okay with that. My love is to my dog, who is a handful enough!

[@ChaiTogether]

Wow 23! 🎉😄

[@ppurabidash8659]

I also want to be childfree by choice but always feeling of scared being alone mentally if something happend to any of the spouse. How to handel my anxiety please please reply me

[@merlana3479]

My mom was supportive of not wanting to get married or have kids. She herself went through two divorces and had me and my sister. She understood how hard it was and just told me if I wanted to have a marriage and kids than do that and if I don't thats okay.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@emanuelaprandini4624]

Yes we have super powers😂😂❤

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@franhunne8929]

Ok, I have got a Premium KZbin account, to avoid ads. Any video that has ads coming up gets ended rigth there - and goodbye.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

I don't see ehy anyone should get married. It's a worthless outdated Custom and has no legal benefits that can't be had with other forms of contracts. It's just harder to end this contract, and divorces can be stressfrei. Look at how often the romantic fantastisch people had about each other turns into hate. Not worth it.

[@mel7305]

If you find the right person marriage isn't like that. I think most people marry the wrong person and that's the trap.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@anitago]

I never had a conscious thought about being a mother. I had a dream about holding a baby 2 or 3 times in my life, but that's it. I observe my cousin's having children and I realize if you have a bright daughter it can be fulfilling. But what are the chances of having a very intelligent child? I'm guessing by the population - 2%? The risk of having a problematic, sex driven male child is terrifying to me, and the chance of it is - 47%? So it is a definite no from me. I am an only child and my mum lost a pregnancy after me so I was given a dog not to be a lonely child and since then I have developed an extraordinary love for animals, especially dogs. I later discovered that I want to dedicate my life to looking after homeless, broken dogs and turn their life into an amazing adventure filled with love so they forget the crimes humans did to them. A child would get in the way of this ability, space, time, and energy that I have.

[@theinterviewer_thesheword]

So glad you are enjoying the channel! Childfree part two is out in a few weeks! Do not miss! We discuss your comments! (subscribe not to miss!)

[@botic7701]

Wow you are a misandrist. Imagine hating men so much that you hate your potential son before he is even conceived. It is best for you to not have children as you likely would have been abusive towards your male children. People who are life affirming experience the joy of life. They are optimists by nature and they improve the lives of the people around them. People like you, who are life denying, are pessimists by nature. They steal the joy from life and make the people around them more depressed.

[@blessings4life]

Didn’t get my period until 15 so I was behind from the beginning:(

[@Fausteneful]

Most women who don’t have kids talk about not feeling anything towards someone else’s babies. Not having that “instinct”. Honestly, so many women who have kids were not feeling anything towards someone else’s babies their whole lives and were not having any instincts. The feelings you have for your child have nothing to do with other children. You have them and then you know. No way around it.

[@zvikaso]

I think it's too early for women under the age of wisdom (somewhere between 60yo and 70yo) to evaluate what has been missed by not having children. In psychology there is term of "side bets" - people get entrenched in their ways because they have invested so much in them, and are afraid to admit they are wrong and have invested the better part of their lives barking on the wrong tree (it was really obvious when communists lost their way when the USSR collapsed). For example, a childfree woman that discusses her feelings about future possible children has no idea what she is talking about, because the love for one's own child is not something you can imagine or speculate about. It's something that can not be verbalize, nor conveyed in any other way. It's something one has to experience to understand. It would have been interesting if you could interview these women at the age of 70yo, and see what they think then.

[@helenjane4722]

Great idea… happy to come back when I’m 70 and evaluate what has been missed as well as what has been gained, for balance

[@Passionatelycurious91]

Does this apply to parents who under 60 and seem pleased about their life with children? Because I would love to hear from 60+ about how often their children are in communication with them, taking care of them, and visiting them

[@Unknown-yv1mw]

Why would it matter to interview someone in their 70s about this issue? By then you’re already done with life. No point

[@botic7701]

It’s funny how they acknowledge their debt to their mothers or parents. That’s correct, and the way you pay that debt is by having and raising children or your own. Also they talk about the “advantage” of not being relied on by another person… Emile Durkheim, a pioneer of sociology, studied depression and suicide and his key finding was that people who are relied upon are less depressed and less suicidal. Being “constrained” by relationships to those you are necessary for (a husband, a wife, a mother, a father) is precisely the thing that gives your life meaning.

[@botic7701]

These women spend a lot of time talking about being in relationships with “narcissists” but their entire mission in life is self-gratification. They are incredibly narcissistic, incredibly self absorbed.

[@ruffandrelax290]

Your logic is why prisons are filled and kids are abused . . . . A parent should love their child unconditionally right ? If they aren’t able to “pay them back” with a grand baby This life is about “love” in all its forms and if you can only fathom paternal love and not all the other relationships in which love os to be shared Then it’s literally you who doesn’t truly understand this life thing

[@ruffandrelax290]

People can be depressed with all those things. Have a house full of people around them and still depressed. Having ppl that need you might keep you from killing your self, trust But it won’t cure any damn depression, if anything it’s worse. I would make my escape if I don’t have ppl that needed me Is a very very very sad way to live

[@botic7701]

@@ruffandrelax290 The way you live and see the world is sad. I have a great family and life. Your comment is fairly incoherent so it’s not even worth responding to. Good luck

[@Passionatelycurious91]

None of us, including YOU, asked, begged or pleaded with your parents to birth you. Taking care of an offspring is a consequence and responsibility of ones decision to have them. Children owe their parents nothing. Love will be reciprocated when it is earned. Treat them right, and they will do the same one day