The Silent Battle for Men's Mental Health with Collin Underdahl

We chat with one of our good friends, Collin Underdahl, about isolation, trauma, mental health, and how themes in our lives say much more than singular events. This is a very honest conversation about the darkness that many men face, and, finding the light.
From Episode 007 of The Dirty Civilian Podcast.
Collin can be found on Instagram | / collin_underdahl
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[@9volt965]

I think every man secretly desires conversations like this with fellow men. Getting below the surface and being real with each other. Building life long bonds.

[@MrShellyj]

Colin worked at a local gun store near me a while back. As someone who's in LE, I noticed that he wasn't always the most approachable guy and now it makes sense. We're all fighting brother. I'm happy to hear your story!

[@Collin_Underdahl]

Had my ups and downs behind the counter. Apologies for that experience with me.

[@turdferguson2863]

I wouldn't be nice to LE either, since they enforce the gun laws the politicians crap out.

[@Blackout22442]

@@turdferguson2863 It's not that deep bro. Not everyone is out to get you.

[@turdferguson2863]

😘

[@brye0331]

Damn Colin this was heavy. I feel you tho. I’m guilty of bottling things up in my own regard.. Combat and the Marine Corps changed me as a person. I’ve struggled with alcoholism, PTSD, losing close friends, family life, depression, anxiety.… When we arbitrarily pulled out of Afghanistan and it was eventually handed back over to the Taliban I went into a downward spiral. It wasn’t until recently where I started taking responsibility for my life and changing it for the better. I just wanted to say I enjoyed this podcast in its entirety and if anything just know you made my day that much better. Rah. “I miss the clowns, but I don’t miss the circus.”

[@Collin_Underdahl]

Happy to hear that you resonated with my message. Tired of watching people just loose all control and spiral into dark places from things that often don't even get the time to process before we have to move to the next. Everyone experiences different things, but it's wild to me how little we try to voice where we are/were struggling in our lives. It took a lot for me to finally get over myself in the destructive way I was, to really start to see that I didn't want a life defined by my hardest moments. We're all loved brother! We just got to make sure we don't lose sight of it.

[@IVolutionI]

As an Army Veteran who just got out 2 years ago he accurately depicts the highs and lows of the military. Much love to you brother, stay strong!

[@LanternOfLiberty]

Thank you for the sports statement. A lot of people will f*cking die for their team, while their country is dying... 😢

[@justsomeguyontheinternet5331]

I could almost understand it, IF you had to be FROM a place to play on the team. but the fact they just buy players from wherever means tying any kind of pride to it is nuts

[@AJohnSmith]

America went the path of Indian Tribes; we have no central uniting factor any longer.

[@threat2demoracy5454]

Wow. Colin is very relatable. I don't know alot and don't claim to. I do know the good, the bad, and the ugly, all happens for a reason. My Mother was just diagnosed with Glioblastoma type 4 in her brain. Praying for all of you in need. Please keep her in Prayer. God Bless & God Speed. Much ❤ Dirty Civilians!

[@MitchKramer01]

I am so very sorry to hear about your mother's diagnoses. My girlfriend of seven years, the most important person in my life now, is a survivor of a lower grade astrocytoma. She nearly died at age 14 when the tumor was discovered, but by God's grace was able to recover and survive. She is 30 years old now, but must have MRI's performed frequently to monitor what could not be removed during surgery. It is scary and stressful to think about. Best of luck to you and your mother and family. God Bless.

[@Ozonehh]

this comment will likely be lost to time but please know, if the creators behind this wonderful youtube channel see this: you are making extremely high quality content and are doing an indredible job of showing many of the different subcategories and aspects regarding this subject together in a concise, professional, and engaging way. I'm sure you guys are confident enough in all this but just know this channel will likely become one of the largest, most proficient, and successful youtube channels in the industry. Keep doing exactly what you're doing and continue to be as awesome as you already are! I wish you guys the very best. And again, thank you so much for the work you do to provide such great content for this space. You guys are part of the reason this community is growing in a positive way.

[@christopherbeining825]

Hell yeah. Collin was in my Company in Washington. Great to see. Love the Capt Krauszyk shoutout as well. Guy was a G.

[@rarws]

I took a class with him when he was teaching competitive shooting and lots of respect for him. Keep doing your truth man!

[@temptedadverse]

I no longer feel alone in the way I feel. Thank You

[@Collin_Underdahl]

You are not alone, my dude.

[@Jordan-ce7sf]

it's amazing how much time and treasure we put into hardware but how little we put into mental health. I applaud any man who looks inside and sees room for improvement.

[@josholsenjourney4292]

This was sooooo powerful . I'm in a dark place in life right now and I needed to hear this tonight. Stay strong brother

[@Wardinson]

I found myself really connecting to what Colin was saying throughout this interview. It's clear he's not a veteran at giving interviews, that's a good thing, but still I found him to be well spoken and the ideas he relayed really stuck with me.

[@MrFox1111]

Thanks for doing this Collin.

[@TheNerdyRifleman]

Amen Brother. Stress in that job is hard to not only deal with, but also to explain when you feel like your the only one crying out, and everyone is deaf. I couldn't imagine the duty you had to deal with. Thank you for your time and insight Brother. 2016-2020 I was a Radio Operator and a SatComm Operator just for context. Thank you D.C. for bringing this out and taking an Admin Stand down for self reflection. Unfortunately, I'm living in Central California, and in one of the last places here where your rights still exist. But I'll be around. Thank you again Brother. Semper Fidelis.

[@dissonantelysium]

"It's okay to cry infront of people, because more than likely, the person you cry infront of probably cries alone."

[@cooperjoe1027]

Thank yall for this, I have a couple months left in my enlistment. I am also an infantry Marine with a couple deployments under me now and everything Collin spoke of is the truth. It has really helped me knowing I'm not alone. Thank yall

[@charlesl5226]

Getting out will be the hardest thing you will ever do man. Coming out of a job that trains you for somthing you never see is rough. I got out just over two years ago, it was probably one of the lowest times in my life. Stay strong and keep your head up.

[@Tadpoledude]

Long form interviews with good dudes is where it’s at. Enjoyed it! Love the direction guys like y’all are going. The 2A/preparedness community has come sooo far since 1/2020!

[@Modern_Warrior_School]

Thank you guys for making this incredibly important and well put together video. I was diagnosed with a mental illness last January, and even my ex wife didn't understand what I was going through and divorced me because of my diagnosis. I found my will to live in mentoring others and passing along the knowledge I've gained from those who mentored me. Stay strong; stay in the fight; and keep up the amazing work.

[@Veritas1992]

I was very similar in highschool to Colin. I got bad grades and many thought it was because I was stupid or apathy but it was more so because the classes didn’t challenge or interest me. It boggles my mind that some kids will go 2-3-even 4 years in college doing gen eds without deciding a major. Ever since I took an airplane ride when I was 10 and was able to take controls so I got the bug hard. I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It was even to the point I was reading my aviation books in highschool instead of my classwork. I was “pulled out of the water” as drew said during psych 101 when one of the first things my professor said was we didn’t know how to learn or study. I was intrigued and dove deep into how all the way up to highschool they had you the books, tell you to study, and take the tests but not actually how to retain the material. Just goes to show sometimes you don’t even break ground for a dozen years in the public school system.

[@vancecrow4408]

Colin, you seem like such a solid dude! I pray that you are continuing to grow and trust that there are men that can carry this burden with you. Truly I pray that you have a close connected Church body that can love you well and that the Holy Spirit will continue to sanctify you through His good work! Bless you sir!

[@thatsmypredpod]

I was a sports guy from a MN suburb, at first I was like I wouldn’t have been friends with this guy, then I realized, we have went through some of the same struggles especially with his relationship with his ex gf that he still holds very close to his heart. I as well lost someone close to me a year ago and have been trying to figure myself out. My job really does only feel like the stable part of my life. He gave me some hope.

[@Ol_petey]

Thank you for this DC crew, I’ve never felt more understood before watching this.

[@jackthatcher5365]

Putting those concepts together in a room alone is incredibly hard. Collin is very relatable throughout the interview. Thank you for your vulnerablitiy.

[@aleksanderczajka6072]

I relate. A lot. You know when a video is great when you scroll down to like and you already had.

[@E.AllTheAbove]

I've watched all, but one, of your podcasts, and this one was my favorite and simultaneously the easiest and more difficult to watch because I got chocked up during some of Collin's experiences, because I too struggled with many similar experiences. I sometimes forget how far I've come, and Collin's story reminded me of my personal growth. I'm so glad I am no longer that angry, broken and unhappy person I used to be. Do I still struggle with it at times? Yes, and I probably always will to some degree. But the end goal, and the "why" behind what we want far surpasses the weight of what is trying to pull us down, and the only way we can get pulled down is if we stop swimming. Please, Never Stop Swimming. Thank you Collin for your willingness to be so open about your journey. ❤❤

[@Sandppy]

Amen brother, sorry you went through that, but your in a great place now to help others and be the change

[@dunkjohnson3133]

I like Collin, he seems like a good guy. But I'm gonna keep it real, I was having a tough time keeping up with how quickly he would change subjects without explaining himself clearly enough before moving on. Not sure if he was just nervous, or what.

[@Collin_Underdahl]

This was tough.

[@dunkjohnson3133]

@@Collin_Underdahl No worries, and nothing personal. You were very well spoken in the other video you did with these guys.

[@Collin_Underdahl]

@dunkjohnson3133 oh no didn't take it personally. My thoughts are always racing, which makes some of my explanations long tangents 😅

[@rebelpatriot_nc_9156]

​@@Collin_UnderdahlI have ADHD too (low end of the spectrum thankfully) and I struggle with staying on topic too 😅

[@signingskater]

Yeah this was just a hard one to get through. Im sure if he had a book with editors it would be amazing but trying to follow his tangents and "rambling" is a little rough lol.

[@kevinjohnson3925]

Youth is trained day one to comply. Thanks public schools

[@chuckles6102]

I’m not even 30 minutes in and this is amazing. Please do more of this podcast/real talk

[@Humble_Media]

I just want to say how much of an impact all three of you guys have had on my life. Much love

[@G-man25]

I've discovered your channel recently and I really enjoy it. This episode is so good!!!

[@MrFox1111]

Really enjoying the channel fellas. Especially content like this.

[@jaredmantia3196]

I think everyone can get so much out of this, thank you

[@cameroncoates7357]

This was such a good podcast. It was good to hear another man say the things Collin said.

[@othernamesweretaken1871]

What a relatable guy. This was top notch.

[@jaredmantia3196]

You gentlemen are doing the lord's work, thank you for everything you do and please keep it up love all the work that you all are doing. Also I can't wait to support your store when it gets set up! Thank you!

[@loganwykstra7922]

Thanks for the thoughts

[@marcopolo2349]

@Collin_Underdahl Your story hit deep, Thank you for your courage to share brother. Keep growing man thank you for the encouragement you gave me from hearing your story.

[@baileyosborn8724]

I’ve pretty much had to isolate myself too because of my beliefs hopefully the day I move that changes

[@ExtraRice365]

Really appreciate this

[@Rolzhey]

16:30 and he didnt even mention that TheGreatWar did it day by day over the 100 year anniversary of every day of ww1, it was a great project to live through and watch!

[@Collin_Underdahl]

Yes! Such a great series.

[@walkie870]

Excellent video

[@itsyxg]

Very great video guys🫡

[@GUNROCKS1990]

I love his story

[@StaticFreighter123]

Licence THIS! All started with my wife she said if you love me buy me chicken’s

[@DamMiTBobBy0331]

I was a 0331 in the same unit you went to I got in right about the time you got out. I loved my job the guys around me was a squad leader for the last two years couldn’t make my third deployment so they offered to fap me over to AIC so i could stay with the infantry in some way. A week before they pulled me into the company office my new first sergeant told me I needed to sign PMO paperwork I didn’t want to do it I was completely against it so he basically threatened to make my life suck if I didn’t and told me to take it up with the fap coordinator which is a fake position. Found my old first sergeant told him what had happened he was pissed but he couldn’t really help me. I hate every second of PMO not to say anything about your experience the chain of command was complete buddy fuckers and I went from almost reenlisting to wanting absolutely nothing to do with the corps at that point it’s crazy how the chain of commands change over and over again over time my first chain of command as a boot was complete trash but my second was full of some of the best leaders I’ve ever had around me honestly that crazy flux of good and bad leadership is why I got out you never know what your next unit or two years will look like and it’ll drive you mad.

[@Collin_Underdahl]

Yeah the wild roller coaster of commands is something that seems to be across the Marine corps which sucks. Just in a few changes of leadership a command can reverse course positively or negatively.

[@SALEM4LOKO]

This was epic

[@AlexSchrafft]

Love you brother.

[@charlesl5226]

2013-2021 in the marine corp was wild. You could see the transition from old breed to woke. Growing up from a 18 year old kid to my late 20’s while in, in some ways was good, but was also terrible. His description of the infantry, where we got molded and trained for war and promised a fight but never got that was pretty spot on.

[@alexpawak3885]

I think it would be a cool dynamic to explore if you had a previously established ghost team but with someone fresh out of "green team" or selection. They're already good but getting taught what it's like to operate at the highest tier.

[@signingskater]

Just a note for yalls podcast, Please get an off body multi directional mic. When yall laugh or get excited and then back to regular tone of voice it just makes your audio all over the place. Hard to focus on the content when your audio isn't that good.

[@fancypantsstungrenades9221]

What ever happened to the strong silent type. John Wayne 007

[@nicholassolo7185]

When the merch is dropping I want one of those hats?

[@parkeratwood2717]

Man I want to hangout with this guy. I feel like we’d get along really well.

[@Tread_Naught]

When the stress gets overwhelming, your brain will outpace your mouth, happens to me all the time dude! Keep up the good work boys, and keep the content real and never bow to the woke mob. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength!!

[@UrNotThatGuyPal]

Y’all did him dirty with that thumb photo

[@turdferguson2863]

16:40 and who funded both sides and why

[@mrhandsss]

1:46:38

[@rob.s7783]

KY gang

[@RA109E]

Yo, anyone know why drew left trex? Just curious. Not many people are talking about it.

[@gkalwap963]

I love everything about this, but Josh, please stop interrupting the guests' flow of thought just to say "So what it sounds like you're saying is..." and then recapping the whole conversation. Yeah, that's what it sounds like they're saying, because we all heard the guest say it. A couple times he was going down a train of thought but you did this and it completely changed the subject. Keep conversation going, don't recap over and over. No hate, I love your podcast episodes! My brother in Christ, there's just some room to grow as an interviewer.

[@m.simpson6843]

Sounds like he's speaking about Kyrie Irving

[@thebreakdowncorner]

I have a feeling this dude is way more red pilled about WW2 as well…😉

[@TheOreo2008]

Totally looks like Eminem in the Thumbnail

[@thejohnhend]

Why does this guy look like an actor I know but can’t put my finger on?

[@dirty-civilian]

Jesse Plemons from Breaking Bad?

[@SALEM4LOKO]

​@@dirty-civilianyup

[@miniwolverine6227]

@@SALEM4LOKOnot him.

[@harmungus]

J-Roc from Trailer Park Boys?

[@teampyle9835]

Pain is relative. How we respond to trauma depends upon past trauma. A young kid who lost his favorite toy may cry as hard as a man burrying his child. I think yall are good dudes!

[@ethanspringer8190]

The ability to think for myself is why I stopped going to mainstream college. I saw that it was turning into an indoctrination system. So I stopped attending.

[@El.Gentil.Supremo]

could you do a video talking about gas masks? it is something a dirty civilian should have in my opinion

[@christopherstewart9821]

🙈 "Promosm"

[@MrBassfisherman98]

Colin’s a great guy but damn this was tough to listen to

[@Tinker.Studio]

apparently now days everyone has mental health problems and is a youtube psychologist.

[@Collin_Underdahl]

Lot's of people struggle to talk about things affecting them, to the point they seek no help at all. They aren't alone, you can get better. Real talks have practically disappeared from the mainstream narrative, and it's effecting more people than you think. This was just a conversation about hard topics, not a therapy session.