The Silent Damage of being a People Pleaser | Mipsart

Being a People pleaser is not quirky, it's not a positive trait, it's straight-up toxic.
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[@Nicostuffz]

I used to be a people pleaser from mid childhood to my late childhood before I entered teenhood. I still am, but not as much as before, I RELATE to the resentment. It was as “I give you all this and that, but why won’t you help me?” And eventually the people pleasing gradually went into codependency, and Trust me, the burnout from pleasing others was horrible, I couldn’t even remember how to be myself, There would be moments where I would be myself with out realizing or knowing, which took a large toll on me. I want to be authentic and knowing that I am. The reason why I used to people please was because as a child I was jealous of my younger brother for getting principles list and trophies and him getting praised for it. Not that my mom didn’t love me or anything, in which she very much does! But my mom made me feel bad as to why I gotten a certain grade on a class. Shunning me for it and other people who took advantage of me, lowering my esteem. Now that I look back, I changed drastically when it came to being codependent and trying to please others. I still people please out of habit but I’m trying to remove it.

[@MURDER_B0T]

I'm a people pleaser. I have issues with my dad because I tried to come out as transmasc to him, but he basically told me it was peer pressure and blamed it on my girlfriend, whom he doesn't approve of/does not like at all. One of my friend groups also hates it whenever I talk, so I'm basically forced to stay silent around them. I'm also stubborn as hell, so I never talk about anything that bothers me. I always pass it off with a "I'm fine." or "there's nothing wrong, I'm alright." but I have so much pent up anger and hatred that I'm scared if I lose it I'll end up hurting someone physically or emotionally unintentionally. I also don't wanna tell my parents because I don't want them to worry about me. I recently stopped sh-ing so that's good, but I still get those urges to scr@tch myself. I'm hoping I'll get mentally better in the future.

[@SassyLemonCake]

okay youtube, this shi is getting personal 😭

[@KaimationOffical]

Why r u so underrated like girl u have these really good formatted videos. Btw speaking of people pleaser, I used to go to this really ghetto school cuz I live in the projects and it was the closest school next to me. I was there for 5 years and then went to their middle school for half a year and then transferred to this school very far from where I live. This new school was very hard for me to fit into cuz everyone in here was kind of rich if u compared them to me. So I had no one to relate to so I thought pleasing them would make me fit in. And obviously it didn't I just started to get really tired of it. And even tho that ghetto school was really dangerous and bad, I really miss my childhood friends from there.

[@mipsthemouse]

Idk y 😭, I'm sorry u miss ur friends r u still in contact with them online?

[@KaimationOffical]

@@mipsthemouse Yeah and there's no need to feel sorry. Still did why I'm trying to please them cuz they're so weird. They made the science teacher quit 💀

[@mipsthemouse]

@@KaimationOffical Wait seriously? Why???

[@KaimationOffical]

it's a really long complitced story @@mipsthemouse 😭 but hey at least they got karma cuz now we have a really mean science teacher

[@mipsthemouse]

​@@KaimationOffical I mean if the new one's mean maybe they could get them to quit too ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[@_digicat]

im trying really hard not to be a people pleaser anymore

[@qwerkiangoo-o2929]

Forse mi conviene fare qualche ricerca, grazie x il video

[@TheMoon32_O]

As an infj my self i do see myself as a people pleaser and i like making people happy but felt like i wanted that validation that’ll make me feel proud

[@SodaCider641]

I love this video. I was really naive growing up and didn’t realize certain actions I’ve done in the past is people pleasing (examples: doing other people’s homework so they can stay as your friends, being told to do dares that overstep your personal boundaries, and having to post regularly on social media in order to not lose followers). Although I live in a progressive state with access to clean drinking and tap water, the schools are awful. I felt out of touch with reality in high school since I always felt singled out since I had a reputation for getting into trouble for dumb reasons in the past. There was a lot of toxic positivity circulating in the school’s air and a majority of the boys were super awful. They meowed at me whenever I passed by, made disgusting slurping sounds with their mouths, said a bunch s3xual stuff out loud, never faced severe repercussions and made my entire high school experience miserable. I also developed an eating disorder that I’m still struggling with today. I ended up becoming underweight at age 16 and my body became very cold since I wasn’t able to regulate my body temperature properly after a severe weight loss from anorexia. I also shaved my head using the electric clippers my dad used to cut my dog’s fur at the time (my hair has grown back and it’s down to shoulder length). It was the winter time. While I was shivering and wearing sweaters or long sleeved shirts, the boys were complaining about how hot it was and the teachers opened the windows, letting in FREEZING COLD AIR, making it worse for me. No matter how much I “complained”, nothing got better until graduation. I lost interest in art class due to the lack of motivation and disappointment that I wasn’t learning what I wanted to learn (drawing anatomy and figure drawings). I felt really powerless since I wasn’t even 18 yet at the time. The worst part is, I cant even switch schools because there is a law (or rule; not sure) where children aren’t allowed to attend any other public schools far away from where they live. I one time threw a soft stress ball at one of the boys who were bothering me to make him shut up in gym class. This was on the day of a senior trip. It was late at night when I returned home and faced my father’s wrath when both my parents came to pick me up. The adults were acting like I threw a brick at a baby. Let me repeat: I threw a SOFT stress ball at one of my classmates. Those things don’t even leave a mark. These memories are painful and drive me to tears speaking of venting about them. At the same time, I wish I could have taken my revenge by beating up the perpetrators (specific classmates) but I didn’t since I would have wound up in jail. Raising my voice or simply yelling at my perpetrators was even considered a crime in the eyes of the school faculty. I feel inferior. I’m short (5’4”) and my perpetrators are physically larger than me. I have little upper body strength. I don’t dress the best or have the best clothes. I either speak too fast or too much. Sometimes when I speak up, I get told to shut up or cut off verbally. I live in my own little world to cope with feeling like a waste of time. It numbs the pain of these memories. I wish to be away from the place that brought me pain and live somewhere far away from it such as Ecuador (I went there for Christmas vacation and got a pet chicken named Luna). Your art keeps getting better and better. I hope to see the next video sometime in the future. Please take your time and prioritize all aspects of your health. 💫💫💫💫

[@mipsthemouse]

I'm really sorry to hear about everything you've been through. those boys were AWFUL and I don't understand why ur school staff would ignore their behaviour but get mad abt u hitting them with a STRESS BALL??? I'm sorry that you had to endure that. I think you're strong for being able to face that. Thank you for your kind words about my art! and I'll make sure to prioritize my health. Take care of yourself too, and I hope things start looking up for you. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. 💖

[@SodaCider641]

@@mipsthemouse The school staff weren’t the ones visibly upset, it was my parents. My father is especially ignorant. He does guilt trip me into appreciating him because he had a bad childhood (both of my parents are from Ecuador and grew up in the mountainous region/la sierra). I’m not emotionally close to him due to the fact he works a lot and has hit me before as well as yelled at me to shut up for defending myself.

[@mipsthemouse]

You can appreciate his efforts, but that doesn't mean you should take his abuse, he should listen to you, like with what happened at ur high skl he should've tried to understand WHY you hit them, he shouldn't have blamed you like that, but maybe because he works a lot he's stressed and takes it out on you or maybe cuz he's an immigrant he wants you to be perfect so you don't end up in trouble, so you should just 'take it', this is not to defend his behaviour I'm just trying to speculate I could def be wrong, but I hope in the future he'll have more time for you and be more communicative, but if he doesn't improve maybe you should keep your distance from him a little

[@Itrippeddownthestairs]

I just realised I’m first!

[@Itrippeddownthestairs]

Hi

[@mipsthemouse]

Hi!

[@crumble_berry1719]

I'm so glad I found this gem of a channel