The Sitting Duck: 15 Feminine Ways to Protect Your Feminine from Predators!

[@TheNewFeminine]

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[@rickimcfarland2269]

For the ladies that do not have brothers, male cousins, fathers or any source of 'protection'...keep that to yourself. I never tell people that I am living in the city w/o family. Even when visiting another city/state I never tell people "I don't know anyone here"...nope, I tell 'em " My brother lives right up the road, in fact, he's sitting in the car waiting for me".

[@foreverone546]

YESSSSSSS!! this comment is everything! be smart and safe!

[@queenfrankie4706]

Wonderful advice!! Thank your for sharing!!

[@briana14333]

Yep! Smart! Also, I'm sure to speak loudly when I get in a ride share or pass someone on the street at night or on runs in the early morning, even sometimes compliment their eyes, watch or tattoo or something small/personal so they know I see them and will remember details if something happens to me.

[@briana14333]

@ I have zero qualms with revealing that I've been stalked. The right guy will be understanding and patient, not mistrustful.

[@queenfrankie4706]

@ I recommend don’t think of it as mistrust, you have to protect yourself and it’s men out here that are predators! If you are dating a guy and it is getting serious tell him the truth n the why! He will understand and If he doesn’t always remember! These men ain’t extinct and it’s plenty more to date n choose from!

[@CountessLouLou]

After being mugged, cat-called, stalked, verbally abused, assaulted by men and women, I did everything I could to move out of the area I was living in. I rented the cheapest apartment I could find in an affluent area. Now I don’t have to “dress down” or hide myself when I go out of the house.

[@samiawilliams151]

What kind of things did women do to you.

[@nicestar2198]

Yeah thats what i want to do to!!

[@ericahoneywood-burrell688]

💯

[@HausOfAdonis]

Smart move

[@TheDroShow]

Another tip that was told to me: stop going to men’s houses that you don’t know that well/just met.

[@Famoomoo]

I thought everybody was supposed to know this but unfortunately many women don’t seem to understand! There’s a lot of crazy men out there.

[@icycici]

Exactly!!! So many women "go with the flow" because "the vibe is there". I'm NOT excusing predatory behavior, I'm just saying dont let any man get the best of your judgement.

[@tayashley3539]

I learned this lesson.

[@TheSomethingnew1]

There is currently a twitter argument going on about going to men's houses in quarantine. The excuse is that "there's nowhere to go." "Everything's closed". Tuh!

[@elizabethowens8548]

@@tayashley3539 me too. Not good

[@loralove6290]

As a feminine, brown-skinned law enforcement officer with 8 years in the game, I can say that women need to learn to take some type of self-defense course and firearms training. Ladies, practice social awareness, be aware of your surroundings and DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING RUDE TO SOMEONE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!! I could really go into details about the horror stories I've personally witnessed by men that I've seen on patrol and in the jail with their antics *shew* if only y'all knew. I could go into this for hours!

[@rahafbash2652]

maybe you should! make a channel and talk about this, i know people will be interested just like i am.

[@siesies000]

Yes, make a channel like Chloe. Don't show your face. I know your type of job doesn't like it's employees to be on social media.

[@BVLV]

i would love to hear

[@loralove6290]

Aww thanks ladies ♥️ BUT...the way my agency is set up lmao idk if I'd do that while I'm still a LEO. If I did choose to do it in the future or if I made a career change (which I'm seriously considering), I definitely wouldn't show my face or use my real name. Lol these folks are probably monitoring this as I speak 😂

[@loralove6290]

@@siesies000 girl say it again 🙄 probably monitoring this as we type lmao

[@mychannelaboutnothing8343]

Another tip is that if you feel like you’re being stalked or followed, change up your routine a little. I once met a guy that made me very uncomfortable, after our little date I made sure to drive pass the direction of my home until his car was out of sight and then I circled back around. Another incident happened when a man in my apartment complex was following me as I walked my dog (he made sure to stay a few feet behind as if I wouldn’t notice). Instead of going back to my unit I walked to my car and drove off. I couldn’t risk him finding out which unit was mine, or even worse running in behind me. As I drove off slowly, I saw that he started walking back to his side of the complex when he no longer saw me. Changing your routine may be inconvenient, but it’s worth it in the end.

[@mychannelaboutnothing8343]

Elizabeth Noir Unfortunately I was too scared to think about calling, all I could think about was getting away. However it wasn’t the safest complex over all so I just decided to break my lease and leave.

[@bluerosefire_503]

Those things happens to me too. When walking my dog or alone, I make like Im very alert and aware of my surroundings by looking in every direction.

[@justcallmeteacup4711]

This also goes hand in hand with your tip: Trust your instincts! If you feel like you're being followed, don't tell yourself you're overreacting. Treat the situation like you are, even if you don't see anyone. I've heard of quite a few stalker murders that start with the victim remarking to a friend/family member that they felt followed/thought they saw someone following them before they were killed

[@briana14333]

Oh definitely. Smart lady! I run/walk a few mornings a week and have about four different routes I take and always switch up my days. there is no reason for anyone to be attacked, but predators look for easy targets. Predictable routines make you an easy target.

[@elizabethjones4325]

1. Only go on breakfast lunch dates with men. 2. Stop visiting the homes of these men. 3. Stop going out at night on your own. 4. Plan your life. Go out with a female friend and stay over at each others homes. 5. Value your life: Give yourself a curfew. Stop this walking at night like you have no value. 6.Stop using Uber/Lyft. Use a local chauffeur firm that is registered. 7.Stop saying yes to everything. A lot of us have to learn it's okay to stay at home and value our life. You don't have to be out all the time. Love yourself like you have a father. 70% of female attacks are from a known aggressor. Not a stranger.

[@genj6630]

All great tips will have to check out tip 6 for sure thank you!

[@zaria_treasuress]

I agree with number 3 so much!!!

[@taystiii]

why number 6?

[@GoldSkye]

I've heard stories of black female expats living in the US and England who return home to the Caribbean for vacations only to get set up, robbed and murdered by jealous family members who lie in wait. Stop telling everyone your movements and business. Keep in mind that the home you left a decade or more ago may be completely different now and that sense of community and security you grew up with is a thing of the past. Be vigilant and never let yourself get caught slipping. Stay in the bougie cute hotel in the "safe" part of the island and dwell in your feminine.

[@harbingersev-oh-wohne]

Sad! That's shameless, I hope it stops

[@AV-jz7yp]

Also...never get in a car with an angry man, whether loud or quiet. That mistake could be your last.

[@foreverone546]

yesssssss! this is wisdom right here! thank you for posting.

[@elliedee8829]

Good one!

[@HausOfAdonis]

Never heard this before...does make sense though

[@cherylmia]

If you live in the hood DON'T FLEX! The number of times I have heard stories of young women being successful in the hood and the ghetto areas and ending up dead are ridiculous! Not everyone wants you to succeed!

[@camiller958]

Eva Green Lover you’re right and it’s sad, people are jealous for no reason.

[@questionresearch8721]

That is true. Look what happened to the 21-year old in Baltimore. She was a business owner.

[@b_b_b5146]

@@camiller958 Yeah! It's quite sad because it's a sign that people are more unhappy, desperate and selfish than ever! It's creepy.

[@AFFTFOMSICHTS]

Honestly i wouldn’t flex period....no matter what the circumstances are or where you live. you never know who is watching and possibly plotting against you. Flying under the radar and succeeding in silence is the way to go.

[@cherylmia]

@@questionresearch8721 Destiny... Her story broke my heart...

[@ellahope3654]

Lock your car doors!!!!! I can't say this enough. I have my lock set up so one click unlocks the driver door, two for all four. MULTIPLE TIMES men have found themselves trying to flirt with me and have pulled on my LOCKED door handle. Sir I will send you to prison.

[@pashmina781]

Monica Smith Yes, I had problems living in the hood and couldn’t fully thrive in my feminine. I moved to another black neighborhood 5 months ago but this is an upper class black neighborhood in the DMV. No sign of predatory behavior here because 99% of the black men are married witg children and everyone makes 6 figures. If black women don’t feel comfortable being in an entirely white neighborhood, I’d suggest moving to an affluent black neighborhood. Trust me, they exist.

[@briana14333]

Same here. There is no such thing as being too careful. Black women disappear too often and no one cares!

[@Toptierhoney_Shan]

My aspiration is to become this dainty, feminine women who looks like she can’t hurt a fly, but secretly knows freaking JuJitsui or some form of martial arts , When he least expects it, Isneak off to train with my master 🏃🏾‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️

[@siesies000]

Nice!!!!

[@Toptierhoney_Shan]

Cia s thx 😂😂😂

[@MorganBF1]

Lmao that’s a whole mood.

[@SanctifiedSista117]

Yas! Same! 😊

[@SanctifiedSista117]

Sign up for kickboxing classes in your area. It definitely helps to know how to kick, jab, cross, hook, and uppercut. But Brazilian jiu jitsu will be the most helpful if you're ever taken down by an attacker. That is really when we are the most vulnerable.

[@callalilly4743]

Being quiet about your glow up is key. I ghost social media most of the time. People will notice without you saying a word, flexing is unnecessary.

[@lavellans]

I keep social media to stay in contact w/ family and old friends, but even my pictures are old from years ago. I don't post new anything.

[@AFFTFOMSICHTS]

I completely agree with this! Ladies if you’re past 24 and still feel the need to post everything on social media you need to work on your mental level up game. There is a reason the most successful ppl (outside of social media careers) barely have social media or barely post. Flexing is tacky and shows how much you value external validation. If you want to live a drama free, peaceful, luxurious life without a target on your back, move in silence.

[@briana14333]

@M Muss Yes! Cheapens is a great way to describe it.

[@briana14333]

YEP! Give them zero reason to hate or project their insecurities onto you.

[@PineapplesCoconut]

True I went on a diet and lost 15 lbs and never told a soul until they saw me in person.

[@LG-bx3wl]

I will never forget I was on a date. We were at the bar with our drinks waiting to be seated and he KEPT asking me if I had to go to the bathroom. He asked like 5 times. It was the oddest thing ever! I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until I was back home. I think he wanted to slip something in my drink.

[@xtelfolaj]

God was on your side that night😫

[@artiswilkins306]

L G And if you do set your drink down to go to the br, get a glass of water, or an iced tea and nurse that until the end of the date. If you leave and come back to the table, always have the waitstaff bring a fresh glass of water to drink. Don’t care about how many glasses are on the table.

[@divinemissw]

I have cultivated 'Big Friends', men in my neighborhood, in my church, friends husbands who are willing to step in, stop by or just show up if I need a male presence They are invaluable, Jerk men are easily intimidated by a male presence lurking in the background.

[@djr3501]

This is exactly how I got out of an abusive relationship as a teen! I found a big, dumb, nice young man, and had him hang at my house all the time after I broke up with my stalker boyfriend... eventually he stopped stalking!

[@eternalstyle4697]

Need to do this most definitely

[@zekeyaneal]

1. Don’t invite said Sticky Fingered family member over to your house lol. Go over to theirs. And not in your finest and most expensive. Or go to a public place. 2. Also don’t tell everyone where you live. Be vague. People will scope your place to calculate the value of your assets in order to set you up, unfortunately. Say you live in an adjacent city/zip. 3. Walk with your phone and keys in hand before you get to your car or door. If you hold it a certain way, you can use it as a weapon. Or at least be out of harms way faster. 4. Don’t be afraid to temporarily turn off the cutesy smile and turn on the RBF (resting bish face) for a moment until you’re safe. 5. If, God forbid, someone wants to rob you, let them have it! Things can be replaced, your life cannot. 6. Lastly, talk up the strong tough men in your life. If you’re a young single woman especially, people think twice before trying you, because you have goons 😂. Great tips!

[@nattyalexander]

I love that you covered this topic. Safety, especially for feminine women is important. Sometimes we can come off as more dainty and soft so people will try us. Another great video, thanks Chloe!

[@LolaSemone]

Wow you’re so beautiful

[@nattyalexander]

Lola A thank you☺️

[@farida1797]

Level Up with Natty you really are pretty😘

[@nattyalexander]

@@farida1797 thank you hun

[@lavellans]

Yes 😭 they think we can't fight too.

[@WeRAlwaysEvolving]

I always do a background check on men I date. Situational awareness and learning how to protect yourself is VITAL. Great advice Chloe.

[@slicksweet1]

What source do you use for the background check?

[@WeRAlwaysEvolving]

TruthFinder

[@slicksweet1]

@@WeRAlwaysEvolving thanks

[@skyline5276]

pepper spray is another effective and efficient tool that can be used for protection. stay safe

[@loralove6290]

@Netta A. a taser works most effectively if the two prongs are split and one penetrates the trunk area and the other affects the lower region and depending on the length of th blast radius (I'm in law enforcement so you'll have to excuse some of my jargon lol). Now, it sounds to me like you may be describing a "stun gun" which can be best used when an imminent threat is within your reactionary gap (3 feet from you). In regars to pepper spray or OC (oleorisin capsicum) it can be extremely effective, but also dangerous to the user if she is inexperienced. You have to hold the spray in your dominant hand, take your supporting hand and grasp your dominant wrist to maintain a steady grasp ( you get nervous, start shaking and don't wanna drop it. Plus it makes you appear strong and unwavering if you have a commanding stance and grip). The bad thing about OC is that it lingers and can affect everyone and everything it touches. You can experience blowback and mace yourself if the wind blows against the person you are intending to mace, also if you are in a poorly ventilated area (elevator at work, cramped office, garage, etc.) then you will incapacitate your attacker, but you will also affect yourself. Plus, decontaminating is a MUST if you deploy OC. It will crystallize in your orpheus ( eyes, mouth, nose) if you do not get if off properly. You'll have to change clothes, bed linen, towels, etc. basically anything that got mace on it will have to be bagged and separately cleaned otherwise you can contaminate yourself. Also, OC reactivates in water so if you spray a guy then try to wash something off that got on you, it will reactivate and affect you also. *shew sorry for the long post lol*

[@ceemac304]

you can make your own pepper spray. use vinegar. hot pepper sauce. clorox. black pepper cayenne pepper.

[@maiyaadrien6376]

Also, make sure that you guys are making sure the thing you are using to protect yourself is legal in your state.

[@femmenoir8847]

Pepper spray is cheap at Walmart, I've been carrying it around forever because I like to jog in the park.

[@loralove6290]

@@briyanna9542 Professionally, I wouldn't suggest using bug spray or insect repellent in place of OC. Personally, I say use whatever the hell you can to incapacitate an attacker.

[@SagRising19]

Thanks Chloe, I've been attacked by more predatorial women than men...more verbal attacks. I just purchased a cute pink 380 pistal and workout regularly.

[@samiawilliams151]

This is proof that masculine women are easily triggered by feminine women.

[@ALPHAROYCE]

Chloe I was literally stalked by a man 2 days ago. He stood outside my garage entrance as I took a walk, I had to swear at him and decided to go back home because I didn't feel comfortable going for a walk anymore. I'm glad I listened to my gut. He would've definitely followed me on that walk

[@ellahope3654]

Stay safe beautiful!!

[@Tomiwa101]

Maybe you have a big booty.

[@Tomiwa101]

@Elizabeth Noir I agree...but it's real life. If you wanna be attractive then you have to be ready to attract the good, the bad and the ugly. You don't get to choose who should be drawn to you, you can only deal with the feeling...and live.

[@missmarci7703]

Call the police and make a report.

[@Tomiwa101]

@@TASconfidential Just putting the situation into perspective y'all...but go ahead and just worry.

[@mochamommyATX]

A pearl handled 22 caliber hand gun is a VERY feminine way to protect yourself. It is small enough to fit in all my purses and in a jacket pocket. The rounds are very affordable so you can go to the range quite often to fire your weapon to improve your marksmanship and identify if it needs maintenance. Also masculine men often are around gun ranges and armories, so be sure to look cute!

[@wandamajette5000]

Don't have a new boyfriend/love interest over your house for a while.

[@Stephanie-rf2qp]

I truly think of the main reasons I do not feel comfortable being fully feminine is because I feel like I would be a sitting duck. It scares me to get the kind of attention I know would be possible if I was truly feminine. In my mind attention from men = possible death. it's sad but its true

[@missmarci7703]

Do not live in fear Sis. Don't be scared be prepared! Know your environment and adapt until you can have better.❤

[@nicestar2198]

Honestly i became to feel the same way but even when i had on long baggy jeans and a big t shirt i felt prayed upon like meat

[@kathyalex778]

Move to a safer area if you can. In the nighttime there will always be weird people who stare and catcall unfortunately 😒, but if you move to an affluent area you will feel very safe during the day.

[@tamarawilliams1197]

"Abusive men don't deserve protection"...that right there! ❤💋💯

[@momb4life]

I’ve been asking how to be feminine without the extra male attention but it seems it comes with the territory. I will be implementing most of these within the next 6 months.

[@rickimcfarland2269]

I used to dress myself down as well in order to blend in, and not stand out. Until I moved on a street where a lot of young guys lived on as well. I intuitively knew to formally introduce myself as their neighbor and after that they did not bother me. I indirectly let them know what type of woman I was based on my wording, inflection in my voice, and demeanor. I used to spazz out, but now I go with my gut and I typically don't have any issues with strange behavior from strange men.

[@TheMundavi]

A couple years ago I was at a bar with my friends & I seen this women talking to this guy, she got up to go to the bathroom & I literally saw him put something in her drink, when she came back I walked passed them & acted like I stumbled but I pushed her drink on the floor & kept apologizing.....the guy she was with eyes got so big & he looked so disgusted with me.....I wish I could have told her what I saw but after that point it was just to much going on......she ended up leaving with him 🤮😭😩

[@TheMundavi]

@@briyanna9542 ik but he got her outta there so fast, now I think back ppl are so crazy if I said something he couldve pulled out a gun & shot me.... I jus dont know 😩

[@betty5449]

sadiddy blaq...you tried your best...you’re so brave 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🏆💐💕

[@missmarci7703]

I just want to add bartenders spike drinks as well. Know the establishment you're in and if its unfamiliar order everything bottled to be opened within your view.

[@Blueocean881]

You're amazing! This is the kind of sisterhood we need out here.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

Good looking out Sister.

[@AkibaLaShell]

People call me bougie all the time for caring about my safety. Which is why I hate visit family in the hood. I visited my sister in the summer and was harassed consistently for working out. By men and women. My neighbors would throw their trash on my lawn and call me a prostitute. When I stood up for myself, it was a block fight and they brought their family over to fight me. That was in 2018. I literally haven’t been the same since and I was only down there for college break. I even quit KZbin because it was such a traumatizing experience. I really became scared and discourage of for being a women🙃 Your videos have been helping me regain my femininity without shame. Can’t wait to get back to posting videos❤️💗❤️

[@bbbbbbbbbb0]

For going out for a jog?? People are crazy!

[@sarasoda7442]

My family is temporarily living in the hood to save money, I cannot even think of working out or running outside, I don’t feel comfortable, can’t wait to move!

[@itsmishell]

Awww, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Over something so minor. You've been treated very unfairly. Those who hurt you belong with each other. Hope you've stopped having contact with them and stay safe.

[@Stephanie-rf2qp]

i truly regret not calling the police on my abusive ex. he did things that would have landed him in present. i'll always regret that and im truly hoping i learned my lesson. no more protecting abusive men !

[@eveomoregbe519]

I dont think its too late to tell them

[@quitecontrary23]

Me too. But then I found out that the girl who he dated after me did call the cops on him and got a restraining order. If I had done it, he would have had both on his record.

[@veeedgee]

Honestly... even if you live in the best area-you are still susceptible!!!! I know I'm guarded, but it some situations its very necessary!!

[@katina5222]

Somtimes you may have to disconnect from your drug addict relatives because them will steal from you for drugs.

[@TheMaishaHarris]

Such a great video! To touch more on phone usage...I almost absolutely never walk and talk/text on my phone. It is a huge distraction and often makes you oblivious to your surroundings. When walking alone, I'm always observing my surroundings, reading body language of other pedestrians, and will glance over my shoulder often just to make sure no one is approaching from behind. It sounds like a lot but it's 2nd nature. I travel mostly alone for a living and another thing I would add that I have learned from being a field-based employee is I only give myself a 2-glass maximum of wine during evening work events and usually I take the 2nd glass to my hotel room to enjoy alone. I also specifically request rooms on the 2nd level of the hotel or above and if someone gets off the elevator on the same floor as me and I get a bad feeling, I do not walk to my room. I turn around as if I forgot something, and walk back to the elevator.

[@amoore3734]

I never really thought about why I did certain things when I was younger until you made this video. It's like you dug into my subconscious!..I stopped trying to look too pretty when I went out because it was a hassle. I felt like I dont want certain people to say anything to me today, so I just won't dress up. I lived in one of the DUSTIEST of cities, and It just became a habit. Such good insight, thanks Chloe.

[@amoore3734]

@M Lane I feel that..

[@djr3501]

YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS!!!! LADIES, I am a Law Enforcement Professional and have been for the last 21 years! Everything in this video I preach all the time to whomever will listen! I literally took a call last night from a female that lives in a bad part of town. She was leaving a mini-mart headed to her car when a young man decided he wanted to get to know her better. She politely declined his advances but he kept going...when her boyfriend sitting inside of the vehicle realized what was going on he either got out of the car or yelled out of the car and told the dude she said no, leave her alone...before they knew it this guy pulls out a gun and starts blasting at them, she had to back out of the parking lot all the way down the street to get away from the guy as he pursued them on foot shooting at her car...! I can name countless other incidents of the violence against women that I deal with every night! Not to mention the ones that get beat up by their boyfriends, and their family members call us to do a welfare check on them but nobody knows their address or where they are staying with the person that is abusing them 🙄...please let someone know the address and the city to where You are! So that if someone needs to check on you at least someone will know where to send the police.❤️

[@dnw75]

Wow that fool was crazy. They usually back off when they see you have a man around. That dude has serious issues. It's scary clowns like that are walking around free.

[@lifelessonswithjo]

dnw75 He had a gun so with that he felt like he could do whatever. Maybe if he didn’t have that weapon.

[@LG-bx3wl]

I have mace, a knife on my keychain, a bat in my car, a bat under my bed and a box cutter under my lamp. I could never handle a gun though due to ptsd of an experience in a foster home. Wish I could but I’ll have to use other methods. Along with trust in God of course.

[@imandalton4227]

All my children are in martial arts and my 2 oldest, one of which is my only daughter, she and her older brother are 1st degree black belts. And I pity the fool who would try any of us. Always park in the open, do errands in the daytime in the open if possible, get a Ring cam for the front and back of your home to check anyone coming around your doors and check it before you enter or leave your home. I heard one case where a women's home was broken into while she was away and the thieves were waiting for her while she was away. She called the police and told them her home had thieves in it and were waiting and they caught those b$tches waiting to do God knows what to her. We must be aware of our surroundings, this can be a very wicked world.

[@amyfleming6099]

Thank You Thank You Thank You for this video. Too many men are actually jealous and resentful of us women who put ourselves first. Your videos encourage me to remain strong. The true gentleman for me is on his way into my life. I must believe. Thank You Sis 😊 .

[@ClaireHaire]

I co-sign knowing basic self-defense I remember being young and naive about being kidnapped. I would think I'm 5'10" most men are not even that height there's no way they will be able to kidnap me. I go to my first self-defense class and the officer on hand took me to the floor and I got humbled right there on the spot, I really want every woman to know basic self defense mechanisms. Thank God I've only used my training once when I was out and about a guy grabbed my butt and I twisted his thumb away from his body and told him if you want be driving with all 5 digits intact you will walk away.

[@BrittinyKay]

My location is automatically sent to my sisters through my Iphone. Ladies choose two people you really trust and keep your location on with them. It comes in handy. Every time I go out and my sisters notice odd behaviors such as not posting for 17 hrs or not texting and sharing things with them because we do have a group chat they will call me and get a verbal “ok” from me upon checking my location if I’m in a unknown area. Same goes for me, I know my sister like the back of my hand . She didn’t post, wasn’t answering text nor calls. I told her I’d call the police if she didn’t call me with a verbal ok lol she called in the next two mins to tell me her phone was acting funny and she’s at work, but she knows I will! I know they will do the same for me as well.

[@FemmeinBloom]

Toxic men were always easy to spot and remove but the women... they have been far more predatory than the men! Especially when I starting Resting in my feminine, the attacks came from those I even considered friends. So much for black sisterhood 😒

[@edenhaile6356]

So sad, so true, it's exhausting

[@FemmeinBloom]

Elizabeth Owens Not Karen’s 😂😂 I see that “jealous ass bitch” spirit runs ramped thru every race 🙄 like where is the feminine comradery?!

[@FemmeinBloom]

nyangore lual awwww thank you, Queen!😘 it’s definitely a little isolating but I’ve come to accept that, with elevation comes separation, not everyone can come along

[@elizabethowens8548]

@@FemmeinBloom elevation comes separation. Yes. Every time i haven't operated from my wisdom is because i was following group think or the herd

[@elizabethowens8548]

@@FemmeinBloom lol. White Karens and Becky do a type of condescending discount that i haven't experienced in black lady friends or bosses. They haven't been exposed or made aware of social engineering as a means of control. They're not humble or quiet enough to observe. I lost my immediate family in a car accident in 1981 and this thrusted me into a change in perception that is just an inkling of a lady of color has lived in multi generational trauma. This is why if we really want to be in sisterhood we build a feminine wisdom energy that builds legacy and beauty in each other and we better learn because there's evil collective narcissism on the prowl in our United States zeitgiest

[@zamandosimarvellouscele4643]

I always tell someone (close friend) if I’m going on a date. I screenshot the guys contact and send to a close friend. I send location as well. Also sit in the front passenger seat of ubers since they don’t have child lock. I don’t get into an Uber if I don’t trust the driver. And I make them sip the drinks if they pour. I’m learning to trust my gut when it comes to men. Went out with one (a medical practitioner) literally forced myself out the house to go out with the guy. He was late so I sent a text to cancel but he was already close by. It rained hard on the way to where we were going, felt like telling him to turn back but I kept quiet. Everything was just off. Long story short the man violated me. Still feel guilty for not trusting my instinct that day.

[@camiller958]

Rhoda Vico I’m so sorry, yes definitely trust your gut

[@AFFTFOMSICHTS]

I also always sit in the front seat for this reason

[@zamandosimarvellouscele4643]

Thanks ladies. Keep safe

[@missmarci7703]

This too shall pass Sis... I'm sorry for your experience. Learn ways to be better protected and live fearless beautiful. Always but always follow your intuition ladies.

[@whitneykhatundy388]

♥️

[@jane9654]

Omg Chloe, just today returning back from work and 3hrs later is your video. I met him in the lift to my apartment, I'd crossed paths with him before but rejected him of course. So you can imagine finding out today that we potentially live in the same building complex. I repeated what I told him the first time and walked right off as soon as I was out of the lift without a single care (mind you was meant to get off two floors before me but didnt get off in hopes of trying to get my attention). Please look after your beautiful feminine self ladies and with protection in order. We have something very rare now a days and must protect ourselves also. Thank you Chloe for your videos and always coming through when needed most. Love You xo

[@bluerosefire_503]

To protect myself, I dress down. Sometimes I have to remind myself to put on the lipstick. Without the lipstick, perfume, & jewelery I damn near fell Butch. I going to share this video. You gave some great tips.👍

[@Iambrittanyisis]

Omg, after years of staying in my room after my diagnosis of MS, I was terrified of being outside. I automatically felt like a target due to having a walker, being black and a lady at the same time. I learned quickly that there are more people who try to help me then there are trying to harass me! And so the level up journey continues! thanks Chloe!! xo

[@earthgoddess4779]

Yes ladies please please always trust your gut, today I almost got robbed walking to the grocery store with earphones on. Something in my spirit told me to walk back to my apartment as I turned two sketchy men were behind me. I quickly went into the road, literally running in between cars,luckily wasn't too far from my place. I don't even live in a shady area however since lockdown there have been lurkers begging in the street. Please be safe beauties💖. Will buy mace tomorrow.

[@kimmurrell7971]

I am glad you are ok.

[@earthgoddess4779]

@@kimmurrell7971 Thank you gorge.

[@frenchvanilla7109]

Rule number one don't wear earphones outside. You always need to be aware of your surroundings.

[@lemonlime2288]

Be careful going directly back home because people can find out where you live that way. Also, only one earphone in an ear. But glad you are safe

[@tachi4002]

Back in like 2011, I went out with a group of "friends" to Vegas. I met all of them through one mutual friend I had for years (I had known the crew for about a year but they knew each other for 5+) anyway, I was dating one of the guys that came. While all the girls and I were in the bathroom he put some drug in my drink and didn't tell me about it. No one did. I was always social but I had no control over myself and I was running around dancing like crazy with all these random people I didn't know and just wilding out. I knew something was off but I couldn't stop feeling the way I felt. Apparently he did it hoping he would get lucky and when it didn't work he got super aggressive and tore my bikini bottoms off. It was so scary and when I called security everyone begged me not to press charges. I got on a flight back and didn't speak to him again. He then emailed me one day and turns out they all knew he had drugged me. None of them speak to me anymore and haven't since then but they're all still friends with him. I will never hang out with a click without one of my own to watch my back ever again.

[@sarasoda7442]

Johanna Torres-Nacci that’s crazy especially since they all knew, I would’ve pressed charges

[@TheMaishaHarris]

Wow that's terrible. Those people were never your friends and I'm thankful that they were removed from your life. My best friend and I joke about only traveling with people we trust very deeply and stories like this reinforce that we are not crazy.

[@tachi4002]

@@sarasoda7442 Honestly, I tried to make the story as short as possible but his mother did reach out to me that night to beg me not to press charges because apparently when he was 19 he did something like 8 years in prison for selling drugs and he called her crying terrified of going back to prison... go figure. I was super young and stupid at the time. I was 21 years old and all I wanted was to put it all behind me and get away from all those people. I was humiliated. I think they all thought it would just be fun and games, not what it turned out to be. They probably would've been charged too.

[@tachi4002]

@@TheMaishaHarris Yes girl. NEVER travel with people you truly don't know. This was a huge lesson for me and I hope others can learn from my 21 y/o naïveté. This could happen to anyone, especially in places like Vegas and Miami. You have to make a packed to never leave each other and watch everyone around you at all times. Don't be afraid to pull your friends aside and say things like, you came with me and you're leaving with me. Cause under the influence it's real easy for a man to try and whisk you away.

[@mahoganyblack8218]

Glad you are o.k. sis.

[@thebeautifulwarrior8743]

You read my mind I was just going to ask if you could do a exit plan video for leaving(divorcing)a narcissistic dusty but this helps. I'm also getting the locks changed.

[@lifelessonswithjo]

The Beautiful Warrior I recommend the book: Why does he do that (Inside the minds of angry and controlling men).

[@djr3501]

My advice.... before you leave...clean up and delete any social media accounts, change passwords and or email addresses to any and all e-services... including bill pay, and streaming services... anything you have the password to... change or delete that account. Get a P.O. Box, forward your mail. Mail forwarding will send a notice to the house that you forwarded to another address...if this is done after you leave it doesn't matter, your new address won't be given in the info. Call every entity that sends you mail, change it with them personally to your P.O. Box. Be careful when you order items online, make sure nothing comes back to your previous address. Get a restraining order. If any verbal abuse or threat occurred in the marriage the judge will grant a quicker divorce. Do what the courts tell you, go to the class if ordered and get that restraining order, it matters in divorce proceedings. Make sure you change the address with your financial institutions/ bank cards/credit cards and don't use your new address in any court proceedings or paperwork give the judge your work address or P.O. Box.....whew...I just recently divorced this kind of man...any questions? And if he is the one leaving the house....then take what applies.

[@wandamajette5000]

Do not be so tuned out with loud headphones that you can't hear what's going on. You will be target.

[@skyline5276]

WOW, never been this fast, love you Chloe, all the way from China.

[@matinajazmine]

I hope the africans there are safe and are not being mistreated

[@skyline5276]

@@matinajazmine All is fine in my city.

[@MsAshleighJadee]

Love this video. Defo going to buy an alarm for my keys. I was raped a couple years ago and I feel like this year I’ve finally got to a place where I’m ready to becoming more feminine & stop hiding myself. Thank you for all your videos, you’ve really helped me build up my confidence 💙

[@imandalton4227]

You will heal sis. Stay beautiful and safe : )

[@MsAshleighJadee]

Iman Dalton 🙏🏽💙

[@alexwood7556]

God bless you on your road to recovery!💖

[@whitneykhatundy388]

♥️

[@mahoganyblack8218]

Sending you sisterly love.

[@yourentrepreneurjourney]

Thanks so much! We have to be vigilant of our surroundings and the people that are around us. Feminine women do not have to justify or defend our position against toxicity.

[@sunshineblooms4519]

Yesss do some investigating before committing a relationship with a male

[@modest.mystic]

Keep your social media pages private if possible, lots of people lurking sending out negative vibes and stalking.

[@camiller958]

withNikki I’ll switch to private right now lol

[@kilimanjaro5537]

Sis I don’t even have any social media because I don’t want anyone in my business. You’ll see me when you see me.

[@jromeo8247]

Chloe...just love your videos. You are a beam of light for women who have lost their way, been brainwashed by society and media and been diminished. You are a goddess reminding other goddesses to wake the hell up and step into their being. Righteously so.

[@TheNewFeminine]

Thank you. I receive that.

[@ShonchelleSheree]

Yes, this is such a necessary video and I agree with you. I’m tired of hiding myself bc people cannot control themselves.

[@vanessaroper3028]

Self defence is mostly a deterrent and to gain you a bit of leeway to flee and call back up

[@nancyaneke1346]

Thank you for this, Chloe. Knowing how to protect yourself as a feminine woman without being aggressive is very valuable. Could you do a video on how to protect your reputation against rumours & defamation as a feminine woman? People don't always hurt others physically. Sometimes they hurt others emotionally & mentally by ruining their reputation.

[@meim1st]

I’m so over trying to explain someone’s inappropriate behavior towards me (male/female) because of the level of femininity I exude. From spouses, to friends & family members even strangers. I’m saddened by unwanted attention or rejection because some people do get upset & literally physically want to harm you or become so enamored that they assault you. I’ve had situations, being told “Well look how you look or act.” or the opposite “You ain’t all that!” Where people blame you for someone else mistreatments. It’s disheartening. It’s like you can’t ooze femininity & kindness being a black woman. Then if someone sees it as a rarity they want to take advantage of it instead of being appreciative of it. I thought in the AA community we were all about diversity. I’m glad you posted this. I’m definitely going to share 🙏🏾

[@meim1st]

Not even two days ago 8/5/20 I just had some sickening asshole all over me. With the Covid being rampant it was terrifying & demeaning. I’m literally in mask, purposely wore dark loose fitting clothes & it hot as to not to draw attention. As soon as I come into the fabric store the owners all in my face. They always think I’m a young girl which is even more frightening. He’s beckoning me to check the fabric downstairs. As I didn’t see what I needed there, he did have downstairs but he rushed down grabbing & kissing on me talking about you’re so beautiful, I’ve never seen anything (yeah now I’m a thing) like you. I don’t know what to do what myself. YOU’RE making me crazy. I’m from Ghana, I can take care of you if you take care of me. He wouldn’t let go of me. Like I was so disturbed & had to start mentioning my husband as no one seems to notice my ring for this asshole to get off me. He’s then like oh you really are a woman. You have a husband so why do YOU (yeah like it’s me) got me all over you like that. Oh you just seem like a little sweetie. Woman aren’t like you anymore. Yeah I wonder why?! So demeaning & humiliating. I merely walked into the store & instantly regretted it.

[@mspennyisaac]

I keep my pretty little .380 in my feminine little purse. 😊

[@Letsmakethis-DGC]

You should led keep it on your body in a hidden holster. The first thing someone will go for is your purse

[@tajlee1]

Excellent tips! Thank you! I also keep a taser flashlight on hand. And I never walk alone with my music on, on the phone distracted. I also never walk the same way home. It is best to be awake and fully aware at all times.

[@Mrs.Fineapple]

Chloe this information is invaluable. I will be purchasing an alarm keychain ASAP! I’ve learned to trust my intuition when comes to men. If their presence makes me anxious or tense up, that’s my body warning me of danger. Now that “Outside” will begin to reopen, this video is right on time. People are preparing to act a fool. Protect your space and go with your gut instincts. Stay safe ladies 💜

[@khandin7606]

Your are always so consistent and you give unique advice. We are very grateful!😄❤

[@Pretzelgal]

This message was right on time. I don't know what it is about the spring and summer months that seem to bring out the fool in some men. Two separate occasions in the same 48 hours last weekend, I was approached by a strange man while leaving Walgreen's asking for cigarettes. This was just before store closing at 9pm in the store parking lot as I got into my car. I do not smoke nor did I have any cigarettes on me. I was pulling away as he came to my window and fortunately, I saw him as he walked towards me. There were several men talking in the parking lot so I wasn't totally alone. Two days later, I was pulling out of a space leaving a store as a younger man walked by my car. I was checking to see if my way was clear before pulling out. He seemed to come out of nowhere walking past my passenger side door. Again, it was at dusk, so it wasn't completely dark yet. I need to keep this video in mind. It's a shame that a woman can't go about her business without fearing for her safety.

[@jromeo8247]

As a woman who has been attacked on a few occasions, there is nothing more powerful than knowing a truly self defense routine that is practiced ad nauseam. You don't need 1000 hits. You need 5 hits, done a 1000 times. It becomes like a reflex with repetition. Small dogs are more sensitive to sound. They are great alarmist.

[@muskanhira763]

I love all these beautiful women raising awareness. Much love ❤️

[@GDL364]

Get out the hood!

[@aminah761]

Good video it’s a lot of predator men out here looking to take advantage of a woman especially older women

[@BrittanyKellyTV]

As “masculine” as it may seem for a workout routine lol, I train brazilian jiu jitsu and muay thai on a daily at the gym (I even compete sometimes to test my skill development). After taking a self defense class I realized that without consistent practice, my body probably wouldn’t respond with the tactics I learned in a tense, uncomfortable or dangerous situation. My friends think it’s so funny that I train mma since I have always been super girly, but I want to be able to protect myself if need be, especially being so petite. I also have my daughter go to ballet and then to boxing and jiu jitsu. So necessary.

[@CANDIEELU]

A single mom here and understand the reality that certain men tend to take rejection very painful , that's why if I don't have the money to pay an get certain things done in my yard I rather broke my ass doing it .

[@johanna2876]

I'm glad I've practiced karate from age 8 to 19. I've had break now due to physical and mental health problems. But I'm thinking of starting again because I really love it and the community.

[@JozieMaXine]

Very good tips/advice, thanks! I will definitely be applying these tips, as well as doing some shopping to get some various self-defense weapons, depending on what is legal in my state. My stalker is currently incarcerated, but I still live in fear for the day that he will be released. Please be careful, ladies.

[@rivkaruthgolan]

Chloe your channel is my favorite at this time. Your voice, delivery and format is easy to listen to. Very clear and straightforward. No frills.

[@apriljoixrush]

💕💯 ur right about the stigma of being viewed as a easy target but ur right ain’t nothing weak about being feminine .. we can make the strongest n””ga’s get weak in his knees lol.. there’s power in being feminine we just have to maneuver the right way and always be aware of your surroundings.

[@apriljoixrush]

M Lane thank u I just uploaded one yesterday 💕 I’ll be doing one every Monday

[@kittothekat427]

Thank you for sharing this for black women !!! We are so helpless because we are unprepared and unprotected!! 🙌🏾

[@NBean90]

Chloe you are the all around woman! I love your voice, and sublime feminine graphics! How you speak and how you design your details is overall amazing. The videos keep getting better and better 💕

[@TheNewFeminine]

Thank you! 😊

[@PortiaMonique]

This is a WHOLE WORD and some 🌟! Thx Chole ❤️

[@9ofNines]

This is so true I lived in a questionable neighborhood years ago but I swear some Weirdo was stalking me , I also believe he planned to have someone sexually harass me to make me feel crazy when I called the police showing proof someone had broken in, the police blew it off as me being paranoid, I moved to a safer gated area and when I checked back on the old complex it was on the news three people were shot two of which died due to someone trying to break in in a second story balcony, I now have a gun license, mace, and a key ring knife I’m currently looking to take self defense, I feel some PTSD from that experience and am looking for counsel please lady take your instinct serious ! You have to live in safe neighborhoods it’s not worth the risk when it comes to finding a “cheaper” option , great content Chole

[@foreverone546]

very important video! and thank you to all the ladies that commented on this video! i appreciate your stories and tips! God bless you all and let's stay safe!

[@shirukaybee]

When doing a background check; google the online case search website for your state or individual counties in your metro area, as well as the state/metro area counties where he has previously lived. Search for State Name Online Case Search, or County name Online case search & it should come right up. For instance, here's Maryland's statewide online case search where you can see any criminal & civil cases, divorces, bankruptcies, etc. casesearch.courts.state.md.us/casesearch/

[@marilynbradley8487]

Do not become too friendly with your neighbors. Don't borrow anything and don't lend anything and don't do any favors

[@genj6630]

My grandma shared that and agree. I was told once: be friendly but not familiar.

[@genj6630]

@J Peavy Thank you, that is so wise! I wish would of done that. I will do that moving forward!

[@angeawesome]

All of this is so true! Actually,earlier my brother was telling me because I made the mistake of texting as I was walking to my car to put the phone away and have a key between all of my fingers,because in these times,people just want to hurt other people for their own enjoyment.

[@AmpleVibrations1]

Yes,definitely get a concealed carry permit.Always do a background check.

[@questionresearch8721]

Thanks Chloe. Short but great and right to the point. Sending my love to all the ladies.

[@veeedgee]

Chloe! I see you have boxing on here! I love boxing for cardio, exercise & all around stress relief...If we do like to box, should we not mention it to a possible suitor? Is this something that is too masculine?

[@hannahpocock4152]

That is something that you keep to yourself, if he asks you tell him that you exercise.

[@veeedgee]

@@letitiahumphrey3792 same here. Not to be masculine at all. I just really enjoy it ...it's an awesome workout. The thing is nothing I do is to be masculine, I am becoming more aware that some things may be without me even knowing it. But its like where do we draw the line? & this is a real question from a lady still developing wisdom (no sarcasm, no being funny, but real) I am still stepping into my complete Hypergamous journey ... but I am still me. Do I have to give things that make me "me" up just to be hypergamous? I still want to be true to myself. Even when it comes to career. Nothing I say to a man about my goals is to impress him..its just impossible to avoid whats on my schedule & it coming up in a conversation if we are truly getting to know each other.

[@chunk556]

One thing that I have learned about socializing from Chloe is that a little mystic is neccessary. You don't have to tell him and if he ask you can simply say that you exercise. I fear that if you tell the wrong guy that you box he might want to test the waters.

[@veeedgee]

@@PR-cv1if wow! I didn't even think that. Thank you. I appreciate this hive.

[@ATrueBeauty200]

That photo of the man with the Afro cracks me up! You are so funny. 😂😂

[@AV-jz7yp]

Be mindful/aware of patterns of spite. If you see a consistent habit of you being belittled & shamed for amusement... things go missing, or more noticeably get broken or damaged without apology or explanation...RUN!!!

[@jasminf1281]

Thank you chloe ! for teaching installing me as black feminine women I come across your channel close to the end of last year I have learned alot from you and have taken your advice in the comments section as well I loved it keep doing what you doing 😌

[@TrinaRaye]

One tip that has worked for me is having an out of state cell phone #, (NYC/NJ resident with a Miami area code) I tell the person I go back and forth for work especially when they want to try an call you on the spot. I've been in a few weird situations and sad as it is it is usually easier to give them my # and keep it moving, I usually block them afterwards. It has worked so far.

[@natashad.3]

Great idea! How do you go about getting a secondary phone number?

[@TrinaRaye]

@@natashad.3 my memory is bad sometimes and I just made my main # an out of state cell # from my carrier. Its hard to recall other cell #s but with google voice or sideline app you can get a # and pick one that is easy to remember as well. hope that helps. :)

[@mizchocolate344]

I have always had 3 guns and ive bought my two girls tazers with pepper spray because I dont play games out here. Im married, but I cant always expect my husband to protect me. Therefore, I am ready to put anyone on their backs trying to hurt me or mine. Ladies protect yourself!!

[@yasmine5165]

i made a mistake last summer where i went to a guy's house at night on the SAME DAY that i met him 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ i was frivolous and i was in a kind of YOLO mood where i felt adventurous and didn't give a damn about anything, obviously i expected a make out session but he started to force himself upon me then i realized that i was in the wrong, to make things short i ended up dating that guy for the summertime but things could have gone very VERY wrong, i dodged a bullet for sure!!! Ladies, don't forget that a guy can lie to you by telling you that he's living alone, i heard stories about girls being gang raped, killed in dark alleys and tortured, there's a lot of psychos out there, may god protect us all ❤️

[@amandaspaintinglessons9908]

Don't let them in your house!! Don't just sit in your car in parking lots!! People can find your address by looking up your phone number so check out phone/text services.

[@frenchvanilla7109]

Wow I never knew someone could find an address with a phone number.

[@amandaspaintinglessons9908]

@@frenchvanilla7109 yes, and all kinds of other info!

[@lifelessonswithjo]

French Vanilla With email address too...so many sites when you can easily search people up! With first and last names as well.

[@aliajohnson470]

Thank you Chloe, l will implement and learn some New Tools l need to add. Great advice for our Changed World.👏🌹

[@monicamiller4274]

Thank you for reminding me of protective scenarios

[@dutchblackgirl6247]

Dear Cloe. thank u for the video!! Greetings from the Nederlands!

[@TheNewFeminine]

You are welcome!

[@jeanhannon6027]

If you are not confident handling a fire arm DO NOT GET ONE! it can easily be arrested from you from someone stronger and used on you.

[@thelightinclarity]

For me, if a man buys me a drink that was hand delivered to me by another person at a establishment. I send a kind word to the person, but I don't drink it because drinks can be spiked that way as well. If I suspect that a drink is tainted, I pretend to be clumsy and spill it in another direction away from me. Pretending to be an airhead has its advantages. 🌹

[@TheMaishaHarris]

Very true...sometimes the bartender is in on it. If a guy buys me a drink I have to witness it being made or I don't drink it. Even then...I may still just let it sit.

[@pheurangtchi9754]

That's precisely what happened a few years ago in a South Italian hotel. A group of employees (barman included) drugged a girl and her mother. The daughter threw up immediately after, but the mother wasn't that lucky : (

[@MelissaMisinco]

Starr Johnson how did you find out?

[@justcallmeteacup4711]

@@starrjohnson1327 That's horrible

[@SimplisticallyDigital]

The Google search is the business!

[@mzmiyagi9536]

Chloe you're the truth. The number one reason why I'm afraid of being feminine,because people tend to take advantage especially "Men". So I feel being masculine protect me in a way.Thanks Chloe 😊😄😁

[@elleoh3878]

Wow am I glad you made this video. I’ve been thinking of this issue so much lately actually

[@theignorantgenious5392]

Very true. I've been stalked before