The STUPIDEST Workplace Rules - Could You Handle Them?

[@bobrad20]

I had a boss one time who would put up really funny work rules as jokes. One was, "It is now forbidden to play 'Who can lean out the window the farthest' above the 4th floor." Another was, "Roasting whole oxen in the coffee room is prohibited."

[@andrewturner1649]

sounds like a good boss

[@danakchampion]

Yes I was hoping the no meow rule was an inside joke or a litmus test to see if people had really read their handbook or something.

[@TXDude]

Best humor from a boss 30 years ago: All alligators must be removed from employee work areas before the cleaning crew arrives. Discipline for 3rd infraction may result in termination or new shoes for the entire office.

[@mothertruckeronajourney8037]

Haha.

[@earthwormscrawl]

I remember putting an M&M in a small plastic vial and posting it in the men's room with a note: "Suicide pill in the event that Dave used this bathroom before you got here."

[@eflarsen]

"for every minute you're late you have to stay an extra ten minutes" sounds like if i'm gonna be late i might as well just call in with some kind of car/house/whatever problem that prevents me from coming in that day

[@Tracey-hg9sj]

Sounds like wage theft.

[@WickedParanoid]

It better work the other way around (for earlier leave) or it's no dice from me.

[@jaywinner328]

If I need some OT pay, guess I'll come in a bit late.

[@casperhansen826]

Okay, so if I come one minute too early I can leave 10 minutes earlier

[@robertp457]

For every minute I'm early I'm going to leave 10 minutes early.

[@joeschmo622]

We also had a short-lived fight with building management in the men's room. We always had the garbage can right by the door, so that you could wash, get paper-towels, then grab the door-handle with the PT to open the door, hold it open with your foot, then toss the PT into the can right by the door. For whatever reason, they suddenly wanted the can right under the PT dispenser maybe 12-15ft away. We slid the can right back to where it was, by the door. They slid it back under the dispenser. Rinse, repeat about a dozen times. Then then *CHAINED* it to the farthest sink by the dispenser! So what I unabashedly did, in front of God and everyone, was to just wash, take the PT, dry, grab/open the door, then toss the wet PT in the general direction of the can. So did everyone else shortly after. You'd have balled-up PTs on the floor, in the sink, etc. Mgmt put up A Sign about it. Got torn down and disposed of in said can. Again, rinse, repeat several times. Rather than just give up, they *POSTED SOMEONE FROM THE OFFICE TO MONITOR THE BATHROOM!!* I didn't gaf. Launched the wet PT at/near the can, "Hey, pick that up!", "Nope, just washed my hands, ain't doing it again.". It was frankly just open rebellion against building mgmt. After... might've been 2mos or so after it started... they finally relented and just unchained the can and put it back to being by the door.

[@GeorgieB1965]

I am not worthy to be in the presence of such absolute pettiness. 💫💫💫

[@llareia]

You'd think before they went to the trouble of CHAINING THE CAN down, they might have taken a moment to ask themselves, "but WHY are they moving the garbage can?" Some people can be so oblivious.

[@joeschmo622]

@@llareia It didn't even make any sense, as this was a gigantic can about the size of a 55gal drum (plastic, though), and putting it right by the dispenser next to the far-sink left only 2ft to sidle through to get to the stalls. It was f'n in the way! That PT dispenser was inset into the wall and had those white folded papers, while the dispenser near the door stuck out like a giant wall-tumor and was the kind you had to pull down on the crank 4-5 times to unspool that brown paper. Hated that, as water would run off my hands and down (up?) my forearms. So the giant can would fit under that just fine, as there was plenty of room, but *not* where they wanted to put it in the "new" spot.

[@joeschmo622]

@@llareia Oh, and they absolutely knew everyone wanted it left where it was, but decided to move it anyway for whatever reason, so they couldn't claim being oblivious, just stubborn.

[@emdxemdx]

We had a fight with building manglement. They would not let us use the stairs... So, every day, for a week, we would each take an elevator and lock it up by jumping up and down just before the end of lunch time. While waiting for the elevator repairman to reset the elevator control, the janitor had to walk up the whole 10 floors to prop open the stairs doors so people could get back to work. Then, after a week, the stairs door were unlocked so we could walk up the stairs...

[@PaulGrayUK]

Implied contract law - turn up 6 minutes early, leave an hour early. 😁 Chair - log it and then do nowt until done as the chair does not accommodate your health and safety needs, so you cannot work until it is adjusted to accommodate safe practices. Coz you have 2 chair settings, so you alternate and tada, they will soon learn.

[@Ben-Askins]

Way to turn that back on them 🤣

[@jonh6585]

Yep, I would either walk away from the chair until adjusted or wake up with bad back and register it as "work related injury" On a similar issue at my place we had to watch a 5minute video the. "sign" a form saying we would adjust our own chairs in accordance with the video and instantly report a broken chair however a broken chair call goes unanswered for weeks and just seem to have to suck it up, but guess they covered themselves as we were told to report it and find another chair so liability is on us.

[@efnissien]

Sir, I like the cut of your jib, I too practice the dark arts of 'Malicious compliance' and it's always a delight to see like minded souls... dark, hard, obsidian hearted , evil souls...

[@emdxemdx]

No they won't learn.

[@kerick123706]

​@@Ben-Askins also, boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I'll shit on company time lol

[@jerry3890]

Years ago I worked at a factory that had bells for breaks. At the bell you could go on break, when it rang again you had to be at your workstation. We had a customer in the shop reviewing our production and testing. He asked me a question, and as I was answering the break buzzer sounded. I stopped mid sentence and walked away. When The bell rang again, I was standing in front of him and finished the sentence. His comment: "are things a bit chicken s##t around here?"

[@xlerb2286]

Never before today have I had any interest in meowing in the office, truth be told the idea of doing so has never crossed my mind. But suddenly, must meow!

[@jackcurl2005]

when I had my cat, he was vocal sometimes. I began meowing back to him exactly the same. Occasionally I did it at work. A co-worker came over one day to watch a movie. He told me he thought I was... odd... for meowing at work, but he completely understood after meeting my cat. We sounded identical. And the only thing I can think of for making animal sounds (been doing it since high school many many years ago) is just an tension-breaker (98.76% of the time-the other 1.24% is me not know how to say exactly what I'm thinking, so animal comes out. I'm happily and contentedly eccentric).

[@nancytorres5867]

Meeting before office was due to open. We were informed that the company was cutting costs and there would no longer be coffee in the break room. After the meeting an employee walked across the lobby and poured a cup of coffee from the customer’s coffee urn. When the manager tried to stop her the employee reminded her that when each of us were hired we were issued accounts. We were in fact customers.

[@alexandermills9965]

I had a rule from a previous job at a night warehouse (no not Amazon) which only allowed for each employee to have two 5 minute toilet breaks in a 10 hour shift. We knew who enforced this rule which was my managers manager so one shift a couple of our colleges put laxatives in his lunch. It didn't take long before the rule was removed

[@EikePilt]

Taking a lunch break at a designated time and leaving work unfinished... what was it called again? Oh yeah, malicious compliance!😅

[@traveller23e]

Depending on the testing it might be way worse than just an hour break mid-test. I've had situations where I had 10-20 minutes of configuration and then had to start the tests over every time my IP address changed, and my IP address would be randomly assigned every time I signed into the VPN, and the VPN connection would fall whenever I lost internet access. Combine this with using my phone hotspot as my main internet connection, and a forced lunch break would add probably an hour or more to the test duration.

[@EikePilt]

@@traveller23e That's the point of malicious compliance! When your manager sees a drop in productivity, the reason is right there. Perhaps they can draw conclusions from these silly rules.

[@AngieLyke]

Or conduct the test at the normal time. Go to lunch at designated time. Throw out the ruined test. Costing the company chemicals and time and... Then do it again after lunch. Leave on time. If it isn't finished start it again afresh in the morning.

[@fabianmckenna8197]

I usually worked through lunch at busy times without payment until a colleague was given extra for doing so but on complaining was told in writing to take my one hour break. Ended up with me often finishing work an hour early as it was too busy for lunch break and "I had to take it!"........

[@NickBingham01]

Depending on the job, it works fine and a bell or alarm letting you know when the "Break time" is is good, because you can't safely wear a watch, and you're working in and around stuff which won't let you have line of sight on a clock most of the day, and your job can easily wait for you to come back and finish it, otherwise it's just stupid.

[@paulmarshall7092]

Used to have paid breaks which was great but was on call to fulfill my roll because if i stopped it could affect several areas. Sometimes got disturbed during breaks but not often. New manager decided i needed to take unpaid breaks as being paid while on a break seem ridiculous. Started going off site because my breaks were now unpaid and switching of my radio. Until when returning from a break everybody was panicking wondering were the hell i was. Something had gone down 5 minutes into my hour long break and everything stopped. My paid breaks were reinstated after they put me in front of HR and i just told them myside.

[@wizardsuth]

Most nations have labour laws that specify the paid breaks to which employees are entitled, e.g. a half hour meal break and two 15-minute breaks in an eight hour shift. If an employer pulls this crap tell them to take it up with the Ministry of Labour or equivalent.

[@raygunsforronnie847]

@@wizardsuth No such protections at the national level in the USA. Some states allow businesses to not grant breaks for water, biological functions, or heat relief, either. If one wants protection, one should join or form a union and negotiate a collective bargaining agreement.

[@patrickday4206]

​@@raygunsforronnie847Washington if your break gets interrupted it starts over from the interruption. Osha nation wide requires breaks for construction and industrial settings either two 10 or 15 minute breaks a 8 hour period. And in Washington drinking water and using the bathroom can not be limited to just during breaks.

[@raygunsforronnie847]

@@patrickday4206 Uh... tell that to Texas and Florida.

[@patrickday4206]

@@raygunsforronnie847 yeah I'm in Washington i was working on a public works project here in Washington for a company out of Idaho claiming that we don't get breaks because there's no federal law. They should be shut down operating a cabinet shop without breaks is a recipe for horrible accidents.

[@Penguins44]

Employee walking out at 5:40. Boss: “where are you going, the workday doesn’t end till six”. Employee: “yes, but I came in two minutes early. And one minute equals 10 minutes so I’m leaving 20 minutes early. See you tomorrow.”

[@Penguins44]

So if I come in 48 minutes early… 😂

[@joeschmo622]

Engineer who was hired as product manager to do both. I needed to calibrate $$$ instruments before being sent out, that would take at least 3hrs straight, get the occasional prompt to turn valve from position A to position B then click [okay], that kind of thing. Same dealy, I'd start first thing in the morning but only finish maybe 1ish, after the "official" lunch was over. Was told lunch and other breaks were "use it or lose it" and to act accordingly. Kfine, I did. Would delay testing 'til I'd come back from lunch, finish before EOB. Nope, not good enough, shipping needed at least 1hr to box up the instrument. So, it'd just go out the next morning. Nope, not good enough, I *NEEDED* to do the calibration in the morning, or at least *try* to. So instead of doing the calibration in the morning and having a later lunch, *OR* doing it in the afternoon, I'd at least have to *attempt* the calibration in the morning, go to lunch at the appointed time, hope it didn't time out (and the calibration ab0rt completely), and if it'd fail as it did 90% of the time, just have to restart it in the afternoon, so the *entire* day would be wasted vs only half.

[@robertp457]

If I had to check my personal items in when I arrived at work I would try to convince as many people as possible to check in everything possible, including random luggage and bicycles.

[@emdxemdx]

I would have stripped naked.

[@ceejay0137]

Isn't clothing a personal item? Mine definitely is!

[@VerySadPenguin]

Worked for a large retailer that for a while required all the employees to have their bags checked before they left. I was present when a new hire, a youngish gal, had her bag dumped out on the desk and her... imitation vibrating man part plopped out. The lady checking the bags was horrified, the new hire never came back, and we all got a huge laugh. They changed the rule after that happened.

[@sarahrosen4985]

I would bring bags of rotting garbage for them to store for me.

[@lorifiedler13]

No personal items? My stays in my car? And unbrella? Wallet? WTF. My car key too? Well, my body is my personal property. Want to bet management was allowed their personal property in the building?

[@greebo6549]

Beat these for rules at a place I worked for… It’s a little complicated but bare with… Two systems working side by side... 1. Sick days: 1-3 days no pay, 4+ all the days paid (ie. 3 days sick no pay, 5 days sick 5 days pay) 2. We had a system to get extra holiday For every day you were in on time you got a yellow dot 🟡 next to your name, a full uninterrupted four week run of dots a gold star, ⭐️ , a run of 6 uninterrupted gold stars and one extra day off, So…. If you were on a good run of gold stars and you happened to for whatever reason be late for work, you might as well ring in sick to make up for the day you could have gained, if you’re going to ring in sick for one day an not be paid , you may as well ring in sick for the entire week, so for the sake of being 5 minutes late into work you were better off being ‘sick’ for a whole week 🤪

[@nco_gets_it]

I work as a management consultant...these kinds of rules exist everywhere. you can see what they are trying to accomplish, but when you explain that they have not solved their problem--which is usually treating people like crap or worse--but have created an incentive to take "free" vacation, they always have that shocked face as if it never occurred to them. One dimensional thinking is so common among B school grads it is a running joke in my dept. We never have to worry about layoffs in my dept because the boneheaded rules never end. We won't even get into rules that actually prevent any work to be done--like the one where they decided to move the mail and package sorting folks to remote work...that was a red letter meeting...LOL

[@lincolnengland5005]

Wow! A whole new level of buffoonery! How do these people get to be in charge? Probably inherited the business?

[@claudiamcnal187]

WOW

[@zenleeparadise]

This is giving me a headache

[@andys5626]

Large online retailer i worked at (in uk). They had tall seat/stools which were just right for work at the line. This employer had thousands of employees and row upon row of conveyer lines. However if someone requested one for back issues they were denied. Every time for years i saw this happen to multiple people. I accompanied a friend thru HR meetings where they claimed it was not a reasonable adjustment. I went to nightshift and if anyone wanted a stool they just took one without issue. It was blatantly anti disability gaslighting and now we warn as many people away from the company as possible.

[@naomiemoore5725]

Labor Board or your equivalent.

[@VerySadPenguin]

I worked (in the states) in retail management hell for 25 years. At one company the rule for supervisors was if you were 5 minutes late or more, regardless of whether you called or not, you'd be written up for a no call no show. Naturally, we were constantly short staff on supervisors because if they were late they'd be disinclined where if they just called out they'd be fine. At another place the store manager constantly posted notices near the tine clock that were utterly insane. The best part was the boss couldn't spell or use punctuation properly at all. So every note would end up covered in corrections (always in red ink) which would result in additional notes... all with massive amounts of errors.

[@PaulRobinson-g6k]

It is easy to make grammar, spelling and punctuation errors, right?

[@demondogmom7221]

@VerySadPenguin - my supervisor would tear me a new butt if I was 2 minutes late...I was salaried at 40 hours a week with uncompensated overtime... even if I stayed late. However if I just called out sick, it wasn't an issue. Since we had unlimited sick time, I'd just take the whole day off. His stupidity just made my life easier.

[@MrJerichoPumpkin]

My number #2 has to go somewhere, if it is not in the toilet, then the trash can it is...

[@daveassanowicz186]

Right outside the bathroom door

[@Sarah_Grant]

😂😂😂

[@andrewbrendan1579]

I think it would be a scream to bring in one of those chair-bucket toilet chairs and set it next to your desk. Maybe put a roll of toilet paper on the edge of the desk. Don't say anything, just let the management see it. This would probably get the worker fired, but it would be so, so, so worth it!

[@cate9540]

​@@andrewbrendan1579 I'd be tempted to rent a port-a-potty and place it right next to the entrance to the building.

[@nukerwolf7788]

On the boss's desk was my guess

[@johncampbell4389]

The "NO PERSONAL PROPERTY" can be dealt with by turning the workplace into a naturist workplace. (laughs maniacally)

[@l.m.2404]

Omg! That's what I thought too.

[@gabpin72]

I was just about to say this!

[@717bugsy5]

I guess the only suits they wanted in the building were birthday suits.

[@Bobywan75]

These rules are golden tickets for a big check: don't apply them, if you get fired or reprimanded because of them, just sue.

[@Dan_Ben_Michael]

Imagine you have a family emergency or get into an accident on the way to work and you’re 1 hour late. Does that mean you work back 10 hours? All I see happening is high absenteeism when people are late. They will rather jump back their car and go home again than be kept back in like a naughty school kid.

[@nco_gets_it]

I see a complaint with the labor relations board because it is illegal...not just stupid.

[@chrispaterson5524]

I see overtime pay. Cha-Ching

[@slacknhash]

For every minute you're late, you have to stay an extra ten minutes after 6pm. Train delayed by an hour because someone threw themselves onto the tracks? You owe them ten hours, 6pm to 4am, and let that be a lesson to you. As for the 'no personal items in the office' rule -- that'd just motivate me to go in naked. Jacket's a personal item? So're the trousers, the shirt, the shoes... 'Management team' gets to see my revolting body. "This Bathroom is for #1 ONLY"? Solids in the waste bin. Maintain eye contact at all times.

[@ahseaton8353]

Everyone I've worked with in Tech #2's on company time. It's usually the most productive part of the day

[@SuprousOxide]

Lock all your personal items in your car! What about your car keys, are they personal items? Do we have to use the office phone to call a locksmith to get us into our car every night?

[@andrewbrendan1579]

Wow. I thought the call-in/phone center in my t own that required employees to wear a certain type of shoe was goofy, but this video has goofiness at a whole new level. This happened almost a hundred years ago, but is too good not share. I read this in the book "The Story of a Boy at the Hogarth Press" , (the publishing firm started by Leonard and Virginia Woolf) and this is my best recollection: A young man who worked for Woolfs came in at 9:01 and Leonard Woolf was going to dock him a minute's pay. The young man said he set his watch by the B.B.C. and was on time. Leonard Woolf set his watch by Big Ben and said the young man was late by one minute. What followed was a screaming argument about whether the time was 9:00 or 9:01. While the battle was raging, Virginia Woolf came in from outside, hadn't heard anything through the metal door, and said, "My watch has stopped. Does anyone know what time it is?"

[@CraigNicolGeek]

I remember one time we moved to a new office and we all got a welcome pack. Most of it was fine - here's the fire exits, here's where you book parking, but then it had some rules that included "you are not allowed to be creative at your desk, we have a creative space (basically booths next to the noisy coffee machines) specifically for this purpose" I had my CV ready the next day.

[@zenleeparadise]

...I don't think I even understand what this rule means

[@t.l.c7481]

That hall pass is illegal, if they require for medical information to be scribbled in (in US, not sure legality elsewhere). Jobs cannot keep you from going to the bathroom. In the US, it’s an OSHA violation.

[@llareia]

I wish I had known that when I was 19!

[@emdxemdx]

Don't worry, Diapers Don will abolish OSHA when he gets to power next year...

[@thisbushnell2012]

But they can require you to swipe to enter the bathroom, then write you up for 'overuse'. Worked at an in-house, RN staffed hospital information call center. New manager, (fresh out of the derivatives crash) started that nonsense. Most of our staff were there because of personal medical issues. Insane restrictions.

[@t.l.c7481]

If that happened in the US @thisbushnell2012 you could report them to OSHA. They can face fines for doing something that’s restricting bathroom access. Amazon got in trouble for some safety violations.

[@ahseaton8353]

I've heard of Law Offices who billed in 10 minute increments, for everyone from Partners down to Secretaries. You had to piss/poo in less than 5 minutes, or you would have no client to bill.

[@Amanita-Minute53]

I have a theory on the meowing at work thing. I think someone was doing the Super Troopers thing where you meow after each sentence. If this office has a bunch of guys it would have become a sort of who can one up the other and it's possible that it got out of hand. As far as the office chairs go, some rules are just meant to be broken. No way am I sitting in an uncomfortable chair for days while waiting on maintenance. Just adjust the darn thing.

[@Ben-Askins]

Interesting theory!

[@EikePilt]

@@Amanita-Minute53 Meow, this was my exact thought!

[@bezerkoid]

I was wondering whether sexual harassment had something to do with it, but you may be more on the money

[@DanielEbeck]

As soon as I heard it, I thought the Cat Game. I wonder if it's still in force meow.

[@TheJase8566]

So the management team are going to take responsibility for my phone and wallet? Ok, if anything is missing I call the cops on them

[@fionaeckert4556]

And you can bet things will be missing... A$50 note here, a silk shawl there...

[@LowR-HighK]

I worked with someone who would hold it until they got to work. And he would say, "If I have to wake up to go to work, then I'm going to shxt on the company dime" and "I love getting paid to take a shxt." It was his morning ritual, like coffee. He was proud of it. Honestly, it ones one of the few things at work that could make him smile. Also, he took typing classes just to spite them. The company supposedly had a benefit where they would reimburse you (if your grades were good enough) for continuing your college education -- as long as the classes could be justified as work applicable. Sounds nice, but they took forever to approve the paperwork for the class approval, you'd only find out if they would approve it with less than a week to register. Which means that you either sign up for a class that they would likely refuse to compensate you for or you wouldn't be able to sign up for that specific/exact class & time slots that you filled out the forms for because classes had all filled up and closed. But typing classes rarely filled up, and they were cheap, and the stupid company would always approve typing classes. The company would typically refuse any expensive classes or classes that would actually be useful and lead to you seeking better employment elsewhere (so forget about any computer classes, or Word/Excel classes, or math, or English, etc.). Typing classes were not threatening and they were cheap, so the company would approve those. So he applied for typing classes every semester, and was able to get into them about half the time (between receiving notice of approval and being able to register, or that class still being available). College chicks with daddy issues would flirt with him, he got really _really_ good at typing, costing the company money made him happy, and typing was an asset to him when he became a paralegal. Oh, and for his job at the company, typing was not a part of his job in any way. Not at all. And he didn't use his typing skills once for the company; he would refuse to do anything that would involve typing while at work, and if he had to use a keyboard at work he would use one finger and loudly hit each key with excessive force in a slow and methodical rhythm (while grinning like a madman, gleefully amusing himself, as he deliberately and actively refused to use his typing skills). He was determined to make sure that he cost/wasted as much of the company's money as possible, and using his typing skill for work would defeat that purpose. I kinda miss that guy.

[@matildastanford7019]

That meowing ban is just asking for covert noncompliance. Everyone start meowing simultaneously everytime the manager leaves the room. Rinse and repeat until ban is lifted.

[@alanrobertson9790]

Reminds me of school days fun. A boy would start a low level hum, when the teacher looked like he was closing in on the source, boy 1 would stop and boy 2, at another location would start. Used to drive the teacher potty.

[@reneemarielong6798]

Macy's department store employees have NO place to hang or place their coats, purses, snow boots, during their shift. Most just stuff all their belongs into the cupboard that has the trash can in it. I had the nerve to hang mine up on a hanger on a rack of clothes ready to be brought to the floor. I was told to bring it out to my car. I did, wearing it, and never returned to the job.

[@Danny-hq7ix]

When I worked for Macy's, we had a break room with places to hang our coats. There were also places for people to leave their purse or what not.

[@zenleeparadise]

​@@Danny-hq7ixI don't know if you've heard, but retail work has really gone downhill over the years, and I'm guessing newer-built stores reflect that in these sort of considerations.

[@ErinTheFennec]

With the animal sound one, it really sounds like a ruff place to work

[@mickholloway9627]

It is literally a petty rule

[@jackcurl2005]

@@mickholloway9627 A Pet Rule?

[@bestbehave]

Nay, stop bleating. just don't get caw-t

[@richb1576]

We had a special needs employee working with us. He would meow and make noises all day long. It did not bother any of us but management made a no meowing or animal noises rule. This guys social worker sees this note and goes to HR. HR informs management they cannot enforce this against a special needs employee as that would be illegal. So we had a rule everybody had to follow except the person the rule was created for. Lol

[@julireid9574]

Either that or someone was a furry and decided that it was appropriate at work as well

[@andreacook7431]

I'm a smarta$$, and would start meowing just to mess with the manager. One of my jobs, the manager decided we couldn't eat at our desk. Someone brought doughnuts. She reminded me that we couldn't eat at our desks. I told her I wasn't eating at MY desk, I was eating at Russ' desk.

[@peterwadham9788]

I had a temporary pre christmas job in my youth. The guy showing me the ropes said when a bell rang that we would be going for break. As we past the toilet I noticed the owner unlocking the door. I said to him is the do locked and he said I don't pay you to use the toilet. I said to him that if I needed to go then either the door would come down or I would use his office. He was not pleased to be challenged by a 17 year old. I told him it was against my human rights to restrict when I could go to the toilet. I didn't go back the next day and reported him to the dept of labour. He ended up with a massive fine.

[@PaulMurrayCanberra]

Only makes sense when you understand that the USA used to have slavery, and the culture persists.

[@fozzy20]

Oh the meowing thing. Well donno about those folks but started in my office as a joke where you'd look up and accidently lock eye contact with someone else on the other side of the office and proceed to agressively fire one loud Meow off at the other person and they'd fire back as quickly as possible.

[@robertpeacock1635]

Could also be not openly calling someone (management) a derogatory name that is another name for a cat.

[@jonathanj8303]

That reminds me of the Jeaney collects video that starts "Due to the actions of one specific tenant"... In that case, the list of forbidden behaviour was off-the-wall and then some.

[@chrisball3778]

I worked at a place where they introduced something called the Bradford System for managing sick leave. It was a mathematical formula they used to justify firing people for taking multiple short-term sickness breaks because the employer thought that anyone who did that was just hung over or slacking off. The new rule backfired on them because it meant that if you were trying to manage a health problem at work, there was suddenly no incentive to come back in the next day if you were too sick to work one morning. People just went on long-term sick and left instead of coming back in. It was all so mean and petty, because their sick pay was structured so that it didn't kick in for a week, so they weren't even paying people for single days off anyway. One employee kept coming in with a persistent cough because she couldn't take enough time off to get it looked at properly by a doctor, and it eventually turned out she had tuberculosis, and had been exposing the entire workplace to it because of the bosses mean-spirited approach to sick pay. They still implemented the Bradford System nonsense AFTER that incident.

[@sierrabravo7368]

Tuberculosis Are you kidding me?!!!

[@andycrawley9456]

That's not a company in Leyland is it by any chance? I know a company that did the same thing that's in Leyland

[@chrisball3778]

@@andycrawley9456 Nah. It was a call centre in Coventry. The Bradford System was a horrible scheme that was popular in particularly cruel HR circles for a while, so it probably cropped up in a bunch of places.

[@brettshaff8772]

A long while ago I worked in a company that had very specific and complex rules on how large your cube could be and what could be in it. As a simple Programmer, I wasn't allowed to have a second chair in my cube. I had to consult with a lot of people in gathering requirements and they had to sit SOMEWHERE, so I would regularly go to an empty cube and take a chair for my guests to use. Then later it would disappear and occasionally I would get a sharp, almost hostile warning that my job position did not entitle me to a second chair. When we got a new VP, her 'points' were higher than the previous VP, so they came in and completely rebuilt her corner office, moving one wall out one foot and making it nicer inside than the previous occupant.

[@demondogmom7221]

If you can't have personal items does that include clothes, watch... so you're supposed to sit at your desk naked.

[@nco_gets_it]

Now there is a disgusting thought...some of my coworkers would gag a maggot when they are clothed...LOL

[@eggchipsnbeans]

The story about adjusting chairs reminded me of my father's story of working for British Steel in the 1970s. You were not allowed to change a lightbulb in your office but had to call maintenance who would send two men. One to change the bulb and the other to watch. When British Steel was rationalised in the 80s, the work force at Port Talbot fell by thousands and yet the produced more steel

[@ahseaton8353]

Insert the Canonical List of Light Bulb Jokes here. That was one of the first items ever posted to the Inter/DarpaNet back in the 80's

[@Sl4wt3r]

That office chair rule? I'd be the employee that would file a request for every day that my chair was not adjusted, and when HR calls me in, I would tell them I'm filing a complaint with the ministry of labour for hostile work environment

[@marktcards]

It's serious HR issue - any competent HR manager would spit out their coffee if they saw that and immediately make the manager take it back. Companies are required by law to provide you with chairs that do not cause you discomfort which can obviously lead to potential injury as you have to sit in them for 8-9 hours a day. Just tell them you now have a bad back due to being forced to sit in a chair that wasn't adjusted correctly for you and watch their reaction when you take a few days off to recuperate!

[@StrawberryFieldsNIR]

Get most of the office to go out with bad back and neck strain, and watch how fast that 'rule' disappears.

[@VerySadPenguin]

Considering my ruthlessness when it came to "office warfare" that sort of rule would have been exploited constantly. I have found myself packing a central chair support with frozen shrimp on an occasion or two. (No worries folks, only to those who really deserved it 😊.)

[@DanTheCox]

@@marktcards "competency" is overrated these days.

[@marktcards]

@@DanTheCox my HR dept are pretty crap but on the chair issue, they make sure you're sorted. I use just a simple no frills chair as I prefer a solid seat and back and they kept asking me, "are you sure that's ok for you, we can get you a proper office chair if you want one" It did help that there was a massive second hand office furniture warehouse across the road! 🙂

[@streetcop157]

I was promoted to a supervisor position. About 4 months in I got called in because my fuel usage was less than half the other supervisor… boss said clearly I wasn’t doing as much. I asked to see the receipts. I pointed out the other supervisor was averaging 25 gallons per fill up which I found interesting because the car had a 17 gallon tank. Turned out he was filling 5 gallon cans and then pouring them into his personal car.

[@stevelloyd5785]

Man that is a dumb bastard. I had a similar situation in New Zealand when petrol was $1 a litre. My office/sales manager and I (engineer) paid for expenses with comany credit cards and that included petrol for our company cars. We all put our monthly expense reports together and manager sent them to head office each month. One day I put mine on his desk and his report was sitting there for all to see. I noticed that his petrol expense was always about $70 and about 4 days apart so maybe 7 times per month. I was amazed at the consistency of his usage and decided to look a little deeper. His Camry's fuel tank was 70 litre acccording to Toyota so how is it he always was on empty when he went to his favourite service station? I mean he would have had to push it onto the forecourt after running out, yeah right. Then I thought maybe he's using high octane instead of regular because he's a wanker so it's just more expensive, but even then i noticed occasionally the mathematics still didn't agree, maybe he's filling containers for another car. So one day I compiled a list of dates and payments and went to visit a very helpful service station manager who was only too happy to look for those values on those dates, even calling a colleague to ask how. The result was only one exact matching transaction on each date and every one was paid for by a credit card with the same base number as mine, so clearly our company cards. The invoices showed that about 40% of each purchase was cigarettes, chocolates, magazines etc. EVERY F#CKING TIME. I even went into the office one Saturday to look for more evidence and found a discarded receipt in the trash, it showed petrol, cigarette, other thing, subtotal about $63, addon another cigarette pack for $7 =$70. That thing was that the Tax Invoice which showed the itemised list was discarded and he was submitting the transaction receipt for his expenses, against policy of course, but what else do you buy at a petrol station other than petrol and of course it has to come close to the cars tank size, right. The fact that he knew the boss's wife, who did the accounts, was an idiot is how he got away with it. I even looked back over a couple of years exepenses (remember I'm the engineer, system admin rights included) and it was obvious when he had a Corolla with 50 litre tank he'd been doing the same thing, when he got the Camry it only took him two tanks of petrol to up his game 40%.

[@natehill8069]

So you were reprimanded and demoted for making waves?

[@streetcop157]

@@natehill8069 no the other guy was fired and the boss realized he’d been getting ripped off for years by both him and the guy I replaced…he was assuming I was half assing my job simply because I was using less gas than the other.

[@claudiamcnal187]

What a ridiculous company n managers!!!!!!

[@Samwise-o2r]

It may not be a management team implementing all of these rules. It could just be a single petty manager.

[@Ben-Askins]

Very true.

[@Vans89]

I think hell is a place with cubicles, neon lights and every single one of those rules in place.

[@Ben-Askins]

🤣 That's a pretty dreadful picture!

[@sexygeek8996]

No, Hell has an open office.

[@loerelauloerelau6346]

That's why I'm an atheist!

[@vlmellody51]

I had a job in a call center back in the 90s, and one of the most insane rules they tried to enforce was their ban on all Dilbert cartoons and products. They said they were subversive. 😂

[@j.r.2184]

Don't forget the rectangle-grid drop ceilings.

[@ericthompson1060]

Its the new safety signs that appear that make me laugh, you know there is a reason......No texting while walking on the stairs........No walking under the carpark barrier.......

[@andreacook7431]

I was swapping PCs at a plant. One machine said "Big Scary Laser. Do not look into with remaining eye"

[@johnmurphy9636]

I once noted a sign over the hot water tap in an office kitchen warning that the outflow of the unit MAY be of high temperature. OH DUH!!!

[@j.s.b.6299]

I was once in a job where someone in management decided that 2 people in the company couldn't use the same first name. When I was there, there was already someone else with the same first name as me, so they demanded I use a different name. I was not there long.

[@jamesduncan578]

I work at a 85-/+ company that at one time had several Scott's. Of course they became Scott 1, Scott 2, e.t.c., till they hired a new GM, yep, named Scott. They stared using last initials instead of #'s.

[@carriebryan1211]

About 5 minutes after I started working at one company, a woman there named Audrey decided she wanted to be called Carrie. Since she had seniority, I had to use a different nickname. But the phone directory didn't get my name change, and since she never told people her last name and I was earlier in the alphabet, I constantly got her calls.

[@Sp4c3G195y]

I literally LOLed at this. Thanks for that. God almighty 😂

[@G.G.8GG]

The CFO became infuriated when anyone in the accounting department was summoned and questioned by the company owner without the CFO present. So he (CFO) emailed us all with the directive that none of us were allowed to speak to the owner without him present. So we were supposed to tell the owner when summoned by him, "Sorry, that's not allowed?"

[@robertp457]

I hate it when people demand something employees can't do. The demand from the CFO should have gone to the owner and not the employees. Just like you said I wouldn't tell the owner "no" when instructed to come see them, what a stupid rule where the employees are put in a terrible position.

[@raygunsforronnie847]

Reply email: "I'd be delighted to attend the meeting you have scheduled, but per the attached email from the CFO, I'm not sure how much help I can be without the presence of my immediate superior."

[@G.G.8GG]

​@@raygunsforronnie847😂

[@joepiazza3756]

When I worked at my dad's fabrication shop when I was at school I was mainly in charge of cutting beams and channels to size so that they could be fitted and welded by the professionals. I often worked through breaks and lunch and then just took my breaks after. I was questioned a couple time by my dad why I wasn't going and another boss why I was taking a break or eating during normal work time but I let them know I was finishing what I was doing because I was on a roll and I was also making sure there is always sized material available for the workers to use. It's not good to have half a dozen men sitting on their hands waiting for material. Sometimes it happens when they are working really quickly or I can't get access to the crane and I have to manually do it with roller conveyors. They catch up, I might get help moving a pile or two but mostly everyone waits. When I delayed my break we hardly ever lost efficiency because of a lack of material. Also as for the washroom one in the video as long as there are other available washrooms I wouldn't be too upset because maybe that one just has bad ventilation.

[@theplasmawolf]

"The bathroom is for #1 only". That rule has been introduced after someone has had something for dinner the day before, and that something decided to have revenge. Maybe they could buy some air fresheners instead of a rule.

[@reginabillotti]

Or maybe after a toilet backed up one too many times. There's one at my workplace that regularly needs to be flushed twice and one time I even had to get a plunger for it.

[@astrocitizen]

Maybe the boss decided that was their personal washroom but knew they couldn't just say that?

[@theartisticactuary]

I complained to maintenance bout a toilet being blocked once. They emailed me back to say it had been logged. And I'm like, that's what I just told you.

[@stevelloyd5785]

​@@reginabillottiI once dumped a turd that would not go away. It just lay against the side of the bowl mocking my attempts to flush it. I had to cut it in half with a knife from the kitchen before anyone else at work found it, and then I had to clean the knife of course. Fun times, not!

[@carolinelane9599]

The lunch bell one. My first job 43 years ago, there was a siren that use to go off for morning tea and lunch and to knock off for the day. I was in the office but it was for the manufacturing guys. There was one to stop work and another to return to work. Things have changed so much in my working life. Things are much more laid back these days. The hissing one they may have someone like me in the office lol I cat hiss at my computer when its not working properly lol Ive always done it.

[@torresilk4277]

I had a job where at six o’clock everyone would have to go outside and participate in a dance while the local Lord would play his mechanical organ. … No, wait. … That was Chigley on the telly, 50 years ago.

[@InspiringNotionz]

I worked a place where there was free coffee, donuts, sometimes mini quiches, and oj in the break room in the morning starting a half hour before opening. The food was only out twenty minutes and the donuts and quiches disappeared then. Sometimes the VP would pop in for announcement but most of the time it was an informal catch up with coworkers. If you were late you missed it but they never mentioned if someone was late unless it was a repeated chronic problem. Even then the company would actually solve your problem if they could. They actually treated everyone like the adults we were.

[@krischan67]

I heard of a company in which a manager didn't like the toilet paper bill, so he introduced a rule about how many pieces are allowed per session, being announced on posters in the toilets. With 20c per roll and 1 roll per week and employee, before and 0.8 of a roll after, that would be 4c per week and employee. Amazing! A bit later, somebody from the sales department complained that this has devastating ramifications on sales because invited customers became worried about the financial situation and had suspicions about the company being close to benkruptcy. The rationing was lifted shortly after.

[@PaulMurrayCanberra]

In general, when any company starts imposing penny -pinching on its bottom-level staff, it's time to leave.

[@Sp4c3G195y]

@@PaulMurrayCanberra this ☝️

[@claudiamcnal187]

Pox on them

[@zenleeparadise]

​@@PaulMurrayCanberrathis is such a good, concise rule. I've seen it too many times, people getting chewed out for staying 3 minutes of overtime because they supposedly don't have it in the budget to be paying people any OT, servers getting their free shift meal taken away, it's always a red flag. Any time things were afforded to you which were once considered perks of the job (never thought of TP as a benefit but here we are lol) start getting taken away, you gotta get off because the ship is definitely sinking!

[@Nyj]

So, if I am late for 12 minutes, I would need to work 2 hours extra? Yeah, right... If I would be 12 minutes late, I would tourn around and heading to my doctor and calling be sick. After this, I would consult my lawyer und search for a new job.

[@GuildWarsUploads]

For that last one, I’d just go home everything I need to go for a no.2. Wait until they’re like ‘why’re you gone for an hour every other day?’ And then be like ‘well, no.2 is happening, if not here, then somewhere else’

[@juliefraser8136]

Obviously not SHITS and giggles. Just giggles. Remember, no number 2!!!!!

[@nodansland303]

My 2 guesses for the animal sound rule: 1. Employees were bullying each other via animal sound and (while sounding ridiculous) the rule was meant to be helpful. 2. Employees used animal sounds as a form of protest and management cracked down. Secret option: 1+2. Employees were protesting by harassing management with animal sounds.

[@StrawberryFieldsNIR]

Maybe it was a 'no talking' rule?

[@nodansland303]

@@StrawberryFieldsNIR that's a really good explanation as well. I could see employees maliciously complying with animal sounds.

[@raygunsforronnie847]

I work occasionally with a fellow that does very good tropical bird calls. Most of the other workers know this - in a large building with potentially dangerous stuff going on, these cut through the noise - and we know he's ready for the next work bits or some other attention. Management HATES it to the point of sending some memo around to supervisory teams. We're looking into other animal sounds humans can imitate that will also cut through the noise in case they ban bird calls.

[@lorifiedler13]

@@nodansland303 Howler monkeys.

[@BenEColeman]

@@raygunsforronnie847 I understand that in some medical departments, they've taken to using the STTOS communicator chirp sound as ring tones or other signalling noises, because it seems to cut through the noise. I've made it the ring tone on my cell, but have found it to have the side effect that if I'm watching TOS-era TV shows or movies, I find myself jumping every time a communicator goes off.

[@przemysawbrzeczyszczykiewi1211]

My last job had a couple fun ones, in recruitment. 1. All calls had to be made on the sales floor. When conducting interviews with sometimes directors of companies, couldn't go to the buildings interview rooms so it was loud as ****, because "we want to listen and give feedback on your calls. - aka don't want you going for interviews for new jobs, or we think you're shite and have to eavesdrop 2. 3 team lead meetings a day to "see if you need help with anything" aka make your KPI's or you're fired 3. Must take break from 1300-1400, best if 1300-1330. 4. God forsaken "core hours", 4 hours a day where we HAVE TO make calls. And the CEO would rage at us if we were quiet during that time.

[@loerelauloerelau6346]

I do know people that actually did number 2 on purpose in the office, "at least I get paid for having a sh*t" or "then i don't need to clean the toilet in my house" sort of things. I still prefer my own toilet + coffee and cigarette!

[@chrisdonnellyofficial]

Just hearing about needing permission to adjust your chair made me so angry... some absurd stuff here!

[@Ben-Askins]

Same here!

[@emdxemdx]

That's one rule I would absolutely break, while looking straight at the boss, to establish dominance.

[@carolmclean8513]

Yeah, now that I'm older, I wouldn't put up with that shit. I'd put the request in, tell them to let me know when they were coming, and go home until said time. Not working at a work station that could potentially cause me additional pain and damage.

[@antisoda]

Oooh. I would _absolutely_ have abused that rule: *1)* Submit request to raise chair 1 cm. *2)* Maintenance raises chair. *3)* Immediately submit new request to _lower_ chair 1 cm. *4)* Maintenance lowers chair. *5)* Go back to 1 with _minor_ modifications to request. Rinse, repeat, ad finitum until the rule goes away or I'm fired.

[@kieshepable]

I started a new job and on my first day i walk into the toilets, only to see a the same sign stuck on each cubical door saying 'masterbating at work is a fireable offence anyone caught doing so will be immediately terminated' the only question i had is how many people have been caught doing the knuckle shuffle for that the even exist 😂

[@simonbaker6962]

Why put a door on them in the first place?

[@Sp4c3G195y]

Holy shmoly - how is someone even caught doing that? Sooooo many questions!

[@kieshepable]

@@Sp4c3G195y thought it was best not to ask, didn't want the trauma

[@looseycanon]

No purring in the office? :D I'd so demand a contract for my cat!

[@jenniferharvey5340]

The meowing thing sounds like the result of someone meowing, being told to stop, and responding “there’s nothing in the handbook that says I can’t meow…”

[@Sp4c3G195y]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@ryannunziato2468]

The bathroom one is outright illegal in the US. You are required to provide bathroom facilities and you cannot place any restrictions on the use of that if it is being used for its purpose.

[@trinity72gp]

I can only assume that rule was put in place due to some kind of regular disgusting abuse of the toilet facilities. I've had a situation where a regular customer "abused" the facilities. Don't ask me how we worked out it was him 👀 but he was swiftly banned when discovered. Not to condone the rule but there are some insanely disgusting people out there. 😑🤢

[@BenEColeman]

@@trinity72gp I've read of at least one company where employees were required to limit drinking any liquids(or was it forbidden to drink any liquids?), in order to limit the amount of time spent in the bathroom. Not only was it extremely petty, it could also be dangerous to employee health, as you're basically requiring employees to work in a dehydrated state.

[@Rapscallion2009]

With that first one I'd definitely have a question. If I have to work PAST closing, does the same apply? - can I have an hour off for every 6 minutes I'm late in leaving? If so, i'm leaving at 6:48. See you the day after tomorrow.

[@Brandilio]

The demand that everyone leave personal items in their car is very similar to a rule that was attempted at an old place I used to work at. The place was the conservative "news" station in San Diego, and the geriatric old bat running the place didn't like that people would come in with backpacks and purses. He put out his "executive order" that no one bring in any backpacks, satchels, purses, or lunchboxes. The rule lasted all of about three days because everyone elected to ignore it and he was too embarrassed to admit that the idea was bad, so he never brought it up again.

[@SkaterBlades]

That's a terrible idea. I travel by bus and carry vapes, wallet, phone charger and meds with me. I need a backpack. I also carry a first aid kit and umbrella on me

[@Brandilio]

@@SkaterBlades It *was* a terrible idea. But also the place is full of terrible ideas - it's why they were sued by Smartmatic to the tune of a billion dollars.

[@b_michigan7783]

I retired at the end of 2021 and honestly couldn’t listen to these videos for a long time without feeling a version of work-related anxiety. Now almost coming to my 3 year anniversary and I can finally laugh but I also feel so much empathy for the posters. There have been some gems. I would absolutely adjust my own chair, even a short time in a poorly fitted office chair can cause pain and medical intervention. And you can’t bring personal items inside? Great, now the thieves know which cars to hit. 😵‍💫

[@sararobertson1872]

Just last week, the supervisor at the labour hire company insisted I wear a reflective hi vis vest over a hi vis tshirt. I pushed back a little because I work hard as a pick/packer and I overheat as it is and I mentioned that the client's staff are NOT required to wear reflective hi vis and I was told that as I am an employee of the labour hire company I have to comply with their uniform requirements. $100 and many hours later, I have sewn reflective hi vis onto all my hi vis tshirts. I am just waiting now for her to come up with some other sudden uniform requirement that makes my life unnecessarily difficult.

[@taswegian1790]

The chair one makes perfect sense . Every single OHS rule came from someone somehow managing to hurt themselves , submiting a worker’s compensation claim and the insurance company saying “why was an unqualified person adjusting their chair , that’s outside of their scope of employment claim denied “ so now the business pays out of pocket for stupidity as the employee was not at fault as they were never told not to adjust their chair . Sadly this is the world we live in

[@tomarmstrong3800]

Some of these are absolutely bonkers! loving these videos

[@Ben-Askins]

Haha thank you!

[@bluegreenash]

in a past role, I think it was to do with ISO compliance or something, we were notified of a "conditions preventing work" form that we were to fill in if there were issue in the workplace....this was quite refreshing as there were a few issues that ranged from inconvenient to "dangerous" I filled out the form a couple of times (Broken printer + improperly secured anti static flooring (trip/slip hazard)) I was literally put on report for doing this as now they had to address the issues...and I was informed that the for was for compliance only and we were expected to not fill it out

[@georgejonsson4819]

The logic!

[@Sp4c3G195y]

The audacity!

[@andoru]

I had a workplace where late employees also got their managers in trouble. So all the managers told their teams, off record, to call in sick if your bus was late or whatever.

[@siggi8893]

Also. A few years ago, after an equally surreal as serious security breach by an intern, we had a few weeks of the "no meowing"' madness at my work. Not quite as ridiculous but equally over the top and loudly declared. Thankfully a colleague from another department came down one day and quietly questioned all the signs everywhere, which snapped us out of the panicky headspace we'd fallen into.

[@judev3197]

I worked at a small town newspaper once. It was back in the day of those awful fax rolls on the fax machine. The boss spent an hour screaming at us one day because we came in to find fax paper all over the floor with news, ads & community announcements that people had sent us. It happened all the time but he was sick of it. Then he forbid us to give out the fax number anymore. He said the next time I hear anyone telling anyone the fax number they’ll be fired. Someone tried to speak, can’t remember if it was me but he was too enraged & just repeated his threat about instant dismissal & stormed out. The thing someone wanted him to remember? The fax number was on the front page of the newspaper along with all the other contact details.

[@aprusek]

No animal sounds in the workplace... Must be time to change ringtones on your phone. "Meow, meow, meow... Meow, meow, meow... "

[@clive3490]

Humans are animals, jus sayin

[@Bodkin_Ye_Pointy]

The chair adjustment thing could have been fun. The management is restricting staff from operating in an ergonomically safe environment. Time for OH&S to review.

[@phil6bien]

I'm a rebel, I'd adjust my own damn chair. Wtf wrong with them, they high!? Also, I would rather do my 2's at home, but if sh!t happens, they can come and wipe my azz, mf!!!!

[@Bookdrogan]

“The meowing has gotten completely out of control” 😂😂😂😂

[@stuartkelly4812]

There was a supervisor in a different part of a Food Production facility I worked at that instituted a bathroom break policy. Basically only on break time otherwise hold it. There was one Very pregnant woman who was not allowed to go but - she had to go. Ends up with her crying uncontrollably in the middle of an expanding wet spot, people running over to see if she's OK or comfort her, and the entire production floor shutting down until it could be cleaned and sanitized. The rule was dropped right after that.

[@Sp4c3G195y]

Play stupid games win stupid prizes, springs to mind. How humiliating for this poor woman. Plus many people struggle with IBS, Crohns disease etc. Regulating other people’s bodily functions will always end in disaster and distress for someone.

[@daviemaclean61]

On the last one, I think it largely depends on the proximity of the facility and the air flow! And if other facilities are available. My son is a transport manager for a large HGV company. The main toilet is a short walk away, but there is a small cubicle next to his office and the drivers have to check in and out. He had to politely ask them to stop dropping off their cargo right under his nose! ;-)

[@lilfizz1619]

The meowing one interests me too. I have Tourette's so when asked about my accommodations at work, I request that no one whistles as it'll set me off, so I wonder if the meowing is something like that??? I have no clue otherwise

[@WarpigA23]

I'm wondering if maybe someone was harassing or tormenting a coworker whose cat had died, or something like that.

[@bezerkoid]

Your request is actually polite and has a basis as a reasonable adjustment (I work with tics so you have my total sympathy there, they're a bastard). The meowing one has no context at all 😂

[@rosemaryjones5550]

Okay I have two theories amazingly on the cat noises One the boss thinks US The office is a documentary Two he miss understood the word catcall

[@fakkedd]

I worked a one place that would dock people 15 minutes pay if they were one minute late, so of course people started being 15 minutes late

[@MrEdrftgyuji]

Actual rule somewhere I worked previously: "The bathroom and kitchen facilities are for break use only. The management reserves the right to remove these facilities if they believe they are being abused".

[@athrun2]

the hall pass thing reminds me that the excuse that was always given for why we had to ask permission to go to the restroom back in grade school was "to prepare us for the real world." I've never had to ask permission to answer the call of nature at work. I guess that boss must have heard that logic & decided to follow through to make it real

[@zeno2712]

A company I worked for was taken over and the new bosses (who we'd never seen) apparently had a 'clean desks at the end of the day' policy. The more enterprising engineers amongst us had two sets of in/out/pending trays - one set was completely empty - and a filing cabinet drawer into which they were swapped at the end of the day and the start of the next. Complying with the policy only took a few seconds... I doubt there is any rule a boss can impose that a resourceful - and motivated - employee (particularly problem-solving engineers) will not find a way around.

[@realspacemodels]

No personal items in allowed in the building. Then I'm coming in nekkid. As for the one-minute:ten-minute rule, I worked at a company where people would manually fill out time cards. The bosses thought they were getting cheated, because everyone clocked in and out at the exact right times. So (as manager) I was presented with a device by the owner. "This is a time clock. You tell everyone that if they don't clock in, they don't get paid!" I asked "If they don't clock out, do they get paid until the clock in again?" I was told "No!" which I said didn't sound fair (the owners were pretty goofy). But it was moot, because everyone clocked their workmates in and out anyway, if they were a little late or needed to leave a few minutes early. Despite having this wonderful timeclock to track hours, it often took the company up to two weeks to deliver paychecks.

[@kimr3755]

Worked for a place that had been "short staffed" for years. And had a very high turnover. (Imagine that!) Those that stayed were overworked, exhausted and still couldn't get all the deliveries made. So they grouched about it. Normal, right? Managements response-on a white board they wrote "Until morale improves, routes will be made longer." It was the first thing the drivers saw after coming in from a 14 hour day.

[@georgejonsson4819]

That's a great motivational "poster" .... to get a new job.

[@Keith_WB2VUO]

"The flogging will continue until the unit moral improves." SGT. Bilko in "Make Room For Sergeants"

[@raeoverhere923]

The chair adjustment one is hilarious to me, because every single person in my office assembled their own office chair and standing desk. The company bought us any model we wanted, and it was up to us to put everything together.

[@AmandineClaireDubois]

I would bring my cat into work if they told me not to meow.

[@katanah3195]

If there was no rule, I wouldn't even think of meowing. Once someone tells me not to... tomorrow is Bring Your Cat To Work Day, I will be blaming Toby Toebeanz for any and all meowing.

[@OriginalGriff]

The first company I worked for safety instructions: "In case of fire, do not leave the lift". The second company ISO9000 rulebook had a whole section on the "Dogs inward" procedures (this was a electronics and software design company, not a Vet). Included was helpful rules on what you could and couldn't feed to the dogs once they had entered the premises. Great place to work!

[@Auntydaren]

My biggest one is from my experience as a former Executive chef. No drinking in the kitchen not even water. Now if you know about kitchen work the you’ll understand how pathetic this rule was and when I did a restaurant inspection I had to remove all of the signs that the manager had put up. By the way love your content on both here and TikTok you are amazing.

[@MrBassard]

For the "chair" thing everyone needs to send a request in and once they do the "adjustment" put in another request and if everyone did that "malicious compliance" that rule would be undone.

[@neilarmour4497]

I watch this channel to remind me that, although I really don't like my job, it's not that bad. Thank you for keeping me in steady employment!

[@Miluielle]

In my old workplace we had a similar sign (in the form of a poem) about the use of our single toilet except that it directed people to use the adjacent building within the campus (a minute at most walk) The sign/poem even explained it was due to the fact that our we had no ventilation/window while the other facilities had multiple cubicles and good ventilation. No one policed it AFAIK - it was more courtesy but regular staff/colleagues did abide by it often calling out they were off to such and such department.

[@siggi8893]

Me working with toddlers: How on earth am I supposed to work without meowing?!? I mean covid-restrictions were tricky, but animal noises? No way!!

[@katanah3195]

If I had to deal with toddlers and couldn't make or encourage animal noises, I'd go mad!

[@tygattyche2545]

Well, if a jacket is a personal item then i guess this is also true for shoes, socks, shirt, trouser and pants...

[@L0rd0fChaos]

That rule about meowing in the workplace. I think that has something to do with the movie super troopers. There was a running joke in it where the officers would try to get as many "meows" into their traffic stops and if the person notices it, they were disqualified. Me and my work colleagues use to do it 😂

[@DaddySirOz]

Yup we had a 'no number 2's in this loo' sign, thankfully the actual manager removed it fairly quickly. As a community nurse covering a large peninsular area the furthest from the staff centre the new manager decided rather than 'phone in morning checks to redistribute work to cover sick leave, delays, etc. we all had to return to base by 10am to do this. So I drove past the centre, out to patients, attended what I could then spent an hour or 90 mins in peak hour traffic attempting to return to the office for morning tea and often no changes to workload. One service manager made anyone who forgot their building key pay a monetary fine. The receptionist area was right next to the front door and could have been left unlocked all day as we were on a patrolled hospital campus.

[@Nyx0npaws]

At our workplace we had a clock in time - we had to be clocked in exactly on the minute ( so we had about 50 seconds to complete a 3 step clicks ) on time or we'd be written up as insubordinate and fired. There were at least 5 people per device..

[@NavaSDMB]

I worked at a factory which made rubber mixes. That's the thing which other factories turn into tires, rubber mats, etc. The production lines had several points where you could leave the mixture just going round and nothing bad happened, but otthers where timing was of the essence. When it was time for a break, workers would come off each line in sequence, making sure to leave the mixture at points where it wouldn't be harmed. The management team decided this was unacceptable, as checking whether each worker had been clocked out for half an hour (no more, no less) was more complicated than if everybody left the lines and went back at the same time. I mean, imagine the horror if someone took a bit too long to wash his hands after peeing! Unacceptable! Every break meant a few tons of material thrown out but hey, nobody was taking more than 30' in their 30' break, no sir.

[@Rana-Kethla]

At one of my first call center jobs, we had a rule saying we could not put personal posters on the cloth dividers due to fire risk. Papers showing quotes, stats, and other job notes must have been magically fire-resistant since they were allowed, and so was the team leader's supporter football flag....and stacks and stacks of old work paper on every table XD but damn that Dilbert joke was sure flammable!

[@christianbarnay2499]

"No personal items." OK, I'm going in naked since I'm not allowed to bring my personal shirt, trousers, boxers, socks and shoes.

[@churchofpos2279]

I worked in a call center and we were limited to a 5 minute bathroom outside of our breaks/lunches. If you were gone for more than 5 minutes, then they would send someone to look for you AKA Potty Patrol to find out why you were gone so long. I guess in their world bathroom emergencies don't occur.