HFY Story: The Terran Survivability Onion & Humanity's bloody smile |2161~Deathworld, War and Humans

[@tabithachastain6999]

Imagine a group of Terrans finding out these xenos compare our defense to an onion, then naming their next ship "Shrek is love, Shrek is life"

[@lenartzsolt1177]

😂😂😂

[@ImOwenWilson]

Humans preparing orbital strike: “it’s all ogre now”

[@imperialinquisitor510]

If we don't get a HMS Spacey McSpaceface I'm gonna be so upset! :P

[@warlockghovat5745]

The xenos might label the very presence of that ship a war crime after looking up the reference on the human internet.

[@Wastelandman7000]

With swarms of Dragon fighters, and all the pilots say, "I have a dragon and I know how to use it!"

[@Riasiru]

That poor xeno thought the core of the onion was don't die... The fool. Wait till he finds out there is a layer under that one. "You can always take one with you."

[@InternetGravedigger]

I like how it specifically mentions the Nivians never shied away from using children "back then." I take this to mean humanity taught them a lesson about using children in war that stuck with them.

[@wolfehoffmann2697]

I was in Iraq for a few years. Saw first hand how psychopaths will use kids as weapons, especially as IED and grenade delivery methods. It wasn't very common, thank god. I don't like going into visceral detail about it when I can avoid it but needless to say, this tactic left some deep mental scars on a lot of people, and left a lot more with feelings of anger and disgust. I think too that it was a major factor in our gradual victory over the insurgency. The more moderate groups didn't want to be associated with those kind of extremists, and so increasingly chose to negotiate and participate in the new Iraq that was being built. Frankly, if you replaced "Nivians" with "Iraqis," this story wouldn't be that far off from some of the ones I've been told by others who were there. Minus the drama of the young soldier with a newborn. Soldiers tend to be angry about their wives or girlfriends having 6 month old newborns because they do that math and realize their genitals have been out of the country for too long for it to be their kid. That shit kinda only happens in stories like this and bad war movies.

[@smaragdwolf1]

yeahhhh... i can imagine a few ways to make someone remember to never use childs for warfare. For starters, take the children of their leaders on a "vacation" and let them play with some of our Predators... send the parents a video of this and attach some footage what our Predators can do, if not tamed. Of course we send the Kids back to their Parents with some toys and snacks :D Does a few things: Reminds them, that we can hit any time, that we can be really brutal Species and that we can easily teach their kids to like us more than them.

[@FuzzyMarineVet]

Layer 7 reminds me of Mr. Miagi's best blocking advice, "Best block, no be there."

[@jameshenderson4094]

Don't be there Don't be detected Don't be acquired Don't be hiy Don't be penitrated Don't die Should you fail all of this, Don't let them live.

[@AmandaGeyerSnobahr]

Humanity's Bloody Smile made me weep.

[@peterwalls-qf7ii]

The thing about onions, is that if you leave them alone in a dark place, they will start sprouting ! Space is mostly dark. You figure out the rest! Sure we show our teeth to signify happiness, sometimes. Other times .... you better relocate stat. Our Father is never far away, and sometimes Our Smile is for Him.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Terrans are Like onions... They make xenos cry? Noo, Well yes , but They have layers

[@TheGreyGhost873]

BEHOLD THE DEFENSIVE ONION 🧅

[@morescodesup2087]

🧅

[@No.more.furrys]

🧅

[@julonkrutor4649]

🧅

[@bvc5320]

Pray it doesn't transform to an offensive Onion... Thing start to get weird, and weirdly unpleasant when that happens.

[@gregwunderlich4253]

The Real Onion Ninjas! The OG's!

[@davethompson3326]

You have to admire any commander that knows his onions!

[@Ni999]

Great stories today. Obligatory shout out to Ryan McBeth for the survivability onion. 👍 (Inspired by Spacedock to the author, Spacedock used it without attribution.)

[@wolfehoffmann2697]

McBeth isn't responsible for creating the survivability onion, but few men have been better at helping to make it more commonly known parlance outside the military and explaining it in detail than he has. So he deserves substantial credit for that. The man is very good at presentation and having the right words to contextualize something.

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

The "burn in hot then cut all systems" is modeled after the Night Witches

[@snake57]

Damn you for the second story! The onions were real.

[@carminedesanto6746]

No great love than that for one man’s life to be given so others may live .

[@Iluvantir]

No greater love has any man than to lay down his life... for a friend.

[@EnraEnerato]

Story 2: "Lächeln ist die eleganteste Art dem Gegener die Zähne zu zeigen." A German proverb, it almost word for word and literarily means "Smiling is the most elegant way to show the enemy ones teeth."

[@ArchonSG1]

Two awesome stories! 2nd one deserves hats off.

[@sjmcc13]

Am I the only one who thinks the last onion layer was espionage/cyber warfare altering their star charts.

[@FullchanAnon]

That's likely, but it's funnier to think that humanity evolved into a Type 3 civilization while at war with an alien species and moved Sol system to dab their newfound state 😂

[@cripto130]

Spoilers: (been warned persons) Layer 1: Dont Die Layer 2: Dont get hurt Layer 3: Dont get hit Layer 4: Dont be engaged Layer 5: Dont be aquired Layer 6: Dont be seen Layer 7: Just dont exist

[@SH-qs7ee]

I agree, not existing is the best defensive strategy.

[@-w-4252]

Layer eight: Don’t let them live.

[@winnerwannabe9868]

​@@-w-4252that's layer 0.5. when an onion is split it makes you cry, crack our onion, and we'll make you cry.

[@golemwarrior9923]

Story one sounds a lot like humans taught aliens the fine details of gorilla warfare.

[@Ral9284]

It's GUERRILLA not GORILA. The term "guerrilla" originates from the Spanish word "guerrilla," which means "little war." It refers to a type of warfare characterized by small, mobile, and decentralized units of irregular fighters who use unconventional tactics to attack a larger, more conventional enemy. The term was first used during the Peninsular War in Spain against Napoleon's forces in the early 19th century.

[@golemwarrior9923]

@Ral9284 neat. I really only heard the term not so I didn't know the correct spelling genuine thanks.

[@polishscribe674]

Layer one: if you die, scream "I always come back". This guarantees you to come back to life, even if not instantly.

[@markuhler2664]

The Onion story was very good. The Smile one ... well, I am a father.

[@AlexanderBushi]

Thanks, Regards.

[@ckl9390]

2:01 And that's when the dead men are marching again.

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: You'd have thought after the first time this strategist would've learned to Not Fight Humans. Story 2: Our smile can mean many things. Not all of them wholesome. But yes.

[@Oddball_The_Strange]

Xeno: "humanities defences are like an onion" *French war songs intensify*

[@Wastelandman7000]

The Grim Reaper smiles too. That might have something to do it. Momento Mori.

[@Furzkampfbomber]

Don't want to lecture, but 'memento mori'. -'Memento- Momento mori', although grammatically wrong, could only and roughly translated to to 'moving the dead'. :D

[@themoagoddess1820]

@@Furzkampfbomber I think your autocorrect got the better of your correction.

[@Furzkampfbomber]

@@themoagoddess1820 Not my autocorrect, but my tiredness, thanks for the pointer!

[@yomogami4561]

good stories i wish more people smiled thanks for the narration

[@robinchwan]

heh, but what are they going to do when humans just sends big rocks towards the enemy fleet without being seen ? a rain of big rocks.

[@AlexSDU]

Wait until they discover The Terran Survivability Cabbage. It has more levels than onion.😅

[@bubicus]

But is fatally vulnerable to Air magic.

[@jayeisenhardt1337]

My Cabbages!

[@noahkallweit8972]

This boutta be fire

[@losthero0]

Laser defense platforms are like onions, they have layers.

[@MrGoesBoom]

These lizards aren't that bright, by the time of the Third Invasion you'd think they'd get the idea that invading human territory is a bad idea and actually go for peace...nope they just keep bashing their heads into that wall

[@hughgordon6435]

We the ferrets are ready and waiting😅😅

[@jeremiahbacklund7586]

That second story had me in tears

[@markuhler2664]

Probably because of the Onion one.

[@SiegeTF]

If Star Wars 4 was in current year the Death Star might open up like a flower shaped like an onion to fire.

[@SiegeTF]

P.S. Mentioning power armor, then saying fatal blows' instead of 'mortal wounds' was a missed opportunity.

[@rat_king-]

Dude... The survivability onion has existed since. the 1960's

[@rat_king-]

@poiujnbvcxdswq i meant writing it down.. obviously we understand it inductively.

[@ckl9390]

Who else watched the Space Dock video in question yesterday and is just seeing this today?

[@axelosdcastlechristo1212]

I learned about the onion from the chieftain. He was a tanker, and in one of his videos about why the tank is not dead, he brought up the onion.

[@mattwallace963]

That second one has me sobbing

[@Asriel_Dremr]

The defensive ogre

[@adamelliott3694]

Onions have layers, ogres have layers.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@Eboreg2]

I mean... I guess forcing humanity to evacuate their entire f'ing star system could count as a victory!

[@medusastone2725]

Before finishing: "the third invasion will be the final invasion". Those sound like Famous Last Words to me. Let's see. eta.: Yep, I was right; just not the way I thought it would go.

[@Awesomewithaz]

Can we get a webcam free variant of this content like the good old days

[@vexile1239]

Why so? He is so handsome tho

[@jddunebuggy]

Survivability onion verses doughnut of destruction, which one wins?

[@alexisgrunden1556]

Well, he was right: the Third Invasion _was_ the final invasion.

[@robertstoneking7916]

I wonder if we pulled a trick from WWII. Take a dead man with no family or friends, plant bad intel on him, leave him where the enemy will find him. We have a friendly smile for those we approve of of are protecting, a grim smile for the enemy, and this zeno never saw the truly demented smile when we are about to get creative.

[@ckl9390]

9:36 Caplan Thruster? Or the entire system was out of phase.

[@anathardayaldar]

Layer 8: The Onion Ninjas

[@ianhogben3472]

the ever growing onion

[@kurtismiller9544]

Da Skwerl and his Nest, for the algorithm

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@Uzzgub]

A Interaction for the Interaction God, a Comment for the Comment Throne, for the Almighty Algorithm

[@hollyferay8131]

HILARIOUS 😂

[@brobasticbroham446]

This sort of thing was common in Iraq and Afghanistan during the wars

[@morgankuikka4940]

I was going to say the second story sounds like some shit iv heard from the middle east (multiple people i served with had storys about it).

[@madengineer9072]

For the Al Gore Rhythm.

[@genericuser984]

cool

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@terrieterblans7027]

Go see American Sniper what a real human soldier would do in 2nd story.

[@justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456]

Algorithm

[@undrachvrsage]

TFTC

[@merlinwizard1000]

38th, 1 July 2023

[@peteratkin3788]

I now watched 3 or 4 of you vids, and what I get from this humans are annoying, and will put all efforts into remaining so.

[@JameSeraphim]

Absolutely love the content

[@JRMshadow260a]