THE TOP OF r/RELIGIOUSFRUITCAKE

[@greenshirt2077]

“Where is my existence ending space rock?” Is SUCH a good line.

[@barrytooth4306]

Yea and is it random or a thing or can u summon it even though you die, would be soo dope, like in a 5v1 situation and they would beat my ass and I just say hold up, and lift my hand up and suddenly a fucking meteor from space hurls itself into their direction, would be priceless

[@nikks_2365]

Saw this the moment he said it

[@tergish1]

Imagine thinking that pleasing your wife and enjoying her company physically is perverse and sinful.

[@RealChloFii]

More of a self own than anything

[@HandsomePutin]

Satisfying sexual desire is one of the two main purposes of marriage in Islam," said Abdul Wahid Asimi, the director of Herat's department of haj and religious affairs. "When a man deprives his wife of sexual intercourse, he will have to answer to Allah for his actions."

[@ClownHoundII]

I alway found that so funny. Men that believe women getting pleasurable during physical intimacy is sinful are the ones say women need to save themselves so it will feel good.

[@luxgh]

1:Father, I have sinned 2:What did you do my child? 1:Made my wife climax before I even had breakfast this morning 2:uh no, no, no, *smh* terrible, you'll join the gays after that one.

[@Jess-du3hc]

Literally. Like, it's called love, Sharon

[@eiscreme3116]

I just love that saying Trump is like Jesus is literally just blasphemy which you would go to hell for

[@erinmalone2669]

So very well said

[@Ambipie]

If God was omnipresent he would strike people down for calling Jesus so irrevocably ugly as to look like that cheesepuff

[@erinmalone2669]

@Ambipie if there was a God he never would have allowed trumptruck to exist

[@jadethenidoran]

IIRC Trump matches a lot of details about the antichrist lol

[@ShadowEclipse777]

He has a scary amount of similarities to the biblical Antichrist Someone made a joke site dedicated to pointing them out over his tenure as president, but he kept having to expand it and now it isn't funny anymore Also Trumpist and other false and delusional Christians 100% would crucify the real Jesus if he did come back for being "woke" and a "communist"

[@cheesuschrist4473]

Im honestly really dissapointed that the guy who made the "go get pregnant and have an abortion right now" comic isnt being satire. That comic is 100% serious, somehow.

[@skrzypczakfranciszek7339]

holy shit it's jesus' brother. But yeah, disapointment might be too weak of a word to describe that feeling

[@STRANGER0243]

​@@skrzypczakfranciszek7339agreed, disappointment is a weak word for it

[@minaashido518]

Timestamp?

[@darkstarr984]

24:52 I don’t think this person understands that “kawaii” actually started as teenage girls rebelling against societal norms that women have to be dignified and obedient to men, choosing instead to enjoy being a girl through their teens by embracing a cute aesthetic and doing things “incorrectly” in a cute way. Kawaii is popular in Japanese pop culture but it’s not really as widespread as he’s imagining (unless he just means petite women with young faces… in which case he’s clearly failing to look around, there’s women all over the world like that), since Japan has an intensely conservative culture already with very strict gender roles.

[@greenapple9477]

I don't think he understands anything really.

[@ImYourCherryBomb]

9:43….that poor woman. 7 kids? Seriously? Get off her dude, use protection. And try not to go Dugger family.

[@johannsanchocuevas7854]

If they won't stop, they'll become the Guinness World Record for the most fertile family.

[@STRANGER0243]

​@@johannsanchocuevas7854yea, and probably won't stop so that they can weaponize more children against gay people and lesbians.

[@zakuraRabbit]

I gotta ask...if the stadium getting flooded months after "mocking God" a sign from him...what does that mean for the church that burned down during service?

[@Musiclover-tm5es]

😂

[@Musiclover-tm5es]

Right?

[@hmnhntr]

Also, a couple months really doesn't feel like a related time period. Do they just assumed this literally any time a building hosts an event they call blasphemous or suffers from a natural disaster?

[@zakuraRabbit]

@@hmnhntr Yes. Your house burned down with your whole Family inside? Well it was OBVIOUSLY because the previous owner was doing satanic rituals in there in the 60s. You should have known better than to live there. Meanwhile a single bible among probably hundreds survives inside a burning church and that's clearly a sign from god... Or the non-flammable gold cross in the Notre Dame... there were probably several unharmed iron screws in there too... what does that mean? That God told you to screw off maybe? What would they think if someone were to hide an unharmed copy of the Dungeons and Dragons Manual in the wreckage of a burned down church?

[@archamedies616]

playing on the gymnastics those christians are gonna make before they can, prolly satan and god having a playground smack fight or something idk

[@AurizenDarkstar]

The biggest reasoning behind why so many religious types hated Carl Sagan was that he explained how so many things about the creation of the universe, the Earth, and life on Earth came about without a deity, and explained it in a way that any layman could understand it. He also was someone who believed in questioning everything, and hated those who fell to mysticism to try and explain things they didn't understand. The worst thing about the pictures, is that the second picture was taken when he was suffering from cancer (of which he died from), that had absolutely nothing to do with atheism.

[@minaashido518]

Timestamp?

[@madsfiedler3884]

tbf, most christian sects agree with modern science on how shit happened, you just gotta put god at the beginning of it. god poked Nothing, and from Nothing came Everything etc yada yada

[@chuckmcluckin6082]

'No, you're not an icon. You're not a "slay queen" or an "e-boy". You're a sinner." That sounds like a dril tweet and without knowing the subreddit I'd have assumed it was a joke

[@jamesnelson6656]

just because you're lactose intolerant doesn't mean I can't have ice cream

[@Jess-du3hc]

This >>>

[@FlushedTTV]

Insanely underrated comment

[@mandelamoth]

perfect way to describe the people in this video

[@ThatIsALakeSir]

just because you believe in god doesn’t mean I can’t believe scientifically proven facts

[@paxlash]

I feel like people forget that the bible wasn’t sent down by god, it was written by a bunch of guys over a really long time.

[@sleepy-emerald]

Some of them intentionally ignore that, some genuinely believe it was (ghost) written by some sky daddy. Source: I was raised Christian, and it was hell.

[@ProtoBlueGaming]

Oh dear lord.@@sleepy-emerald

[@sleepy-emerald]

​@@ProtoBlueGamingOh dear lord is right.

[@hmnhntr]

No, no, you see it is protected by the power of word so that it's incorruptible. Well, *my* translation is, at least. Those other translations and interpretations are wrong.

[@MusketeerTigershark1822]

​@@ProtoBlueGamingi found another of your comments

[@darkonyx6995]

26:22 As a dinosaur nerd, this is actually quite interesting to explain! First tho, i wanna ask this person if she believes that Elephants, Kangaroos and Crocodiles aren't real, i mean, the Elephant on top would crush the one on the bottom if they did the thingy, and Kangaroos and non-avian Reptiles do have a big tail on the way of the bottom gate, how can they do sex?? Wouldn't Giraffes tip over if they had sex? Wouldn't Porcupines and Hedgehogs get hurt by their prickles? I dunno, maybe because animals are not toys and they can get around?? But responding to the dino furnication question, there are many ways they could have copulated. The more simple and direct way is that many species could have a prehensile penis, similar to the ones found in ducks, or they would have done a cloacal kiss like many birds do today, since they could simply, y'now, just get around the tail of the partner and copulate laterally. For sauropods ( long-necked dinosaurs ) it's a bit more interesting, since they were HUGE, many times bigger than the biggest elephant alive today. We know that EVERY sauropod was able to rear up on their back legs due to calculations on their body anatomy, musculature and center of mass. Of course, the ammount of time a sauropod could rear on it's legs would depend on it's species. Sauropods like Brachiosaurus and Sauroposeidon could barely hold their weight on their back legs, since their arms were significantly longer than their legs, but due to their anatomy, they were possibly the only sauropods who didn't need to rear up to fornicate, due to the aforementioned smaller back legs and the small tail. Other sauropods, such as Titanosaurs like Dreadnoughtus and Dicraeosaurs like Bajadasaurus, would have a much better time rearing on their back legs to copulate. Diplodocid dinosaurs in specific, such as Diplodocus and Brontosaurus, were, in fact, specially good at rearing on their back legs due to their long tails, which gave them a stable center of mass, so it's quite unfortunate that they used the sauropods that were the best at sexing in the "anti-dinosaur" pic. Another cool thing to analyse here are the Stegosaurus. Unlike most other dinosaurs, Stegosaurids, such as Stegosaurus, Kentrosaurus and Miragaia, had spiky backs that would hurt a mate if they tried to copulate from above, so instead, it is thought that Stegosaurs did the unthinkable, something animals COULD NEVER DO: Lay down to have sex. The same is also true for sail-back dinosaurs, such as Spinosaurus and Ouranosaurus ( which, by the way, they didn't had humps to support the weight of their partner, it's actually quite fascinating to learn how osteology works, i recommend checking it out! )

[@charlie8779]

Nice explination on dino boneing. Very informative and clears things up. 10/10 would read again.

[@therealgeeber]

Thank you for writing 5+ paragraphs about dinosaur sex.

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

The scalies are sitting in the back writing notes, thanks.

[@cinnamoone3553]

this is just beautiful. thank you for this juicy information (:

[@krasistefanovlol]

you learn the most random and intriguing things in the youtube comment section i swear to god. anyways that was a 10/10 very short essay that had me interested through the entire thing

[@luxgh]

As someone who have read the bible about 12 times I love to using it as an argument against pro lifers

[@MockImagesReal]

What’s ur favorite bible moment to use against people

[@queenthot1438]

me too! i’m not a christian but i love to study the bible because it’s genuinely a great piece of literature and christian’s tend to be very surprised when they figure out i’ve studied their scripture more than them.

[@luxgh]

@@MockImagesReal ah there is a lot, like the instructions on how to perform an abortion, the flood, that one time God wanted to blow a whole fucking city where there were definitely innocent children that didn't sin, that one time where God allowed the devil to kill a man's whole fucking family because the one who knows everything didn't knew the guy would still praise him even if he was nothing more than a homeless man with a pretty bad skin decease, the bears incident because some bald man couldn't handle being mocked by literal children, the plagues from Egypt and the list goes on and on.

[@queenthot1438]

@@MockImagesRealmine is John 1 4:20. it basically says “if you claim to love god but hate your brother, you’re a liar. you can’t claim to love a being you can’t perceive while hating the people who you can”. i like to use this against racist/homophobic/sexist people. i also like to point out that evolution does exist in the bible too!

[@ChipsDubbo06]

I ate a few bibles

[@okay5652]

I wonder how many religious people who try ban books because they’re “not appropriate” have actually read the bible

[@sleepy-emerald]

Most Christians have never actually read it. I was raised Christian and I only know what it actually says because they tend to expect little kids to be able to sit still and listen to some old guy for an hour at least.

[@Jeffrey_LOL-vi9wy]

The only solution is to edge to the Bible

[@LloydTheZephyrian]

Yeah, like how God gave his blessing to an incest couple... Despite saying that incest is never okay.

[@LloydTheZephyrian]

@@p-__ You're less worthwhile than Yamcha.

[@blablup1214]

Because it makes no sense. Just take famous stories. Moses has written the 10 laws. One is you should not steal Afterwards they wander arround come to some area and think "This land is our land now" and steal it from the people already living there. 😂

[@Abcabcabc554]

29:39 I believe that this picture is indeed a picture of the Bible but the lines connecting the chapters are each and every time the Bible has contradicted itself if I remember correctly, don’t remember what the white lines underneath represent

[@andreswidmer2906]

The white lines represent how often that passage is referenced somewhere else in the bible. Without joking, the bible is truly a hyperlinked book. Jordan B. Peterson goes in great detail of this in his biblical series, without being preachy. (Please leave the discussion about Peterson be, it's just from where I know of this)

[@OzonialLayering]

Tell me what the longest line of it is. It seems to be used a lot.

[@undecidedmiddleground5633]

29:35 I believe this is the graphic rendition ofBible contradictions. Every line connects the two parts that contradict each other,

[@cinnamoone3553]

but then why are the white lines at the bottom different lengths? i still don't understand that

[@krasistefanovlol]

@@cinnamoone3553 maybe a measure for how many contradictions there are in a verse? if that isn't why, then i have no clue _edit: scrolled down in the comment section, the lines length corresponds to how long the verse is_ _(sorry for the second edit, im confused. people are saying its either how long the verse is, how many times it was contradicted, or how many mentions in the bible. so i have no idea)_

[@justagirlwearingglasses]

23:50 I just hope the cartoon lady can give birth safely because that baby is facing all the wrong directions

[@carbs_r_delish]

Lmao, I was thinking the same thing. I was like ‘Uhmm….is anyone going to help her out or what?” Cause, that lady def gon have a sucky time giving birth to that mf

[@kiwid3628]

I'm sick in bed with the flu right now, but Emkay videos never fail to entertain. Christian bullshit is one of my favorite things to laugh at. Perfect timing, you guys. Love your content

[@EllaUmbrella111]

hope u feel better. the flu is awful

[@HAMMER-DOWN-NU7]

Get better soon

[@Infotainment-cb6cy]

And one day you realize the entire world is populate by irrational idiots and then... you became cynical like me

[@Nemless6661]

6:44 the boundary between devoted Christian and a follower of adolph hitler is thinner than it seems

[@blibbleblobber]

the whole section at 7:38 really fits that statement

[@alex_runarin]

​@@blibbleblobberI find it really funny too that people think Jesus was white and Christian. He is middle Eastern and Jewish but they seem to ignore that.

[@johannsanchocuevas7854]

Ah, I see, Christian N*zism.

[@Ann-Abel]

I’m not an atheist but I am agnostic. My personal policy is that as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone around you then you should live your life how you want. Don’t live your life in a way that will ensure a good afterlife that none of us are certain is real

[@electricheartpony]

Most agnostics like myself simply call ourselves atheists to help the religious understand where we stand. I believe there could be a god, just there's yet to be any evidence of any higher power.

[@randomhistorystuff165]

Robin I also grew up Mormon, I wasn't forced to go to church, but I felt like I had to, I'm glad you shared this with us, we love you.

[@Enragedpaper]

I love how Satan is now basically the cool uncle. Sure, he does some weird stuff but he also let's you have fun, he's pumped when you come out as gay to him, he lets you play with guns because "he knows what he's doing"

[@greenapple9477]

Like Murdoc from Gorillaz.

[@whyuu25]

As someone with religious trauma from their childhood, I love this sub

[@great-wyrmII]

Same

[@syphex8008]

i have no problem with religion until you start pushing it in other peoples faces also hope you're feeling better robin

[@unraveki]

My exact thoughts with anything political as well as religion, believe what you want, Just don't teach it to kids.

[@Tommorows-Dream]

@@p-__ Why are you everywhere lad

[@shyguy_003]

@@unraveki I think it can be okay to teach kids stuff like religion, but it has to be open minded. I mean like teach kids about different religions. Tell them, without forcing your own opinion on them and let them choose there own believe. imo that can be okay

[@judahsmyth5398]

i agree, you can believe what you want, and i don't mind, but as soon as you try to force others to follow what you follow, or use it as a reason to be a a-hole, then i have a problem with it

[@evening.vesper]

​@@unravekii think we should teach kids without bias and let them choose what they want to believe. ofc lets not tell 5yo's about anything s*xual, but letting them know that sometimes men like men, and thats ok.

[@SourGummi1118]

I’m a Christian myself, and those people are just insane. They do not speak for us. (Not the narrators, I love those guys and gal)

[@BoBoles-gp9mi]

wait, i know this was like, 99.9 percent chance yiu didn’t mean this, but if you did, i love how you also said gals for lexi (trans women), if you meant that, even if that is a 0.000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent chance of that

[@SourGummi1118]

@@BoBoles-gp9mi I did mean it. Trans women are real women and vice versa.

[@ProtoBlueGaming]

@@SourGummi1118 Based

[@SourGummi1118]

I’m also trans

[@BoBoles-gp9mi]

@@SourGummi1118 OMFGGGG YOUR AMAZINGG

[@sharddawn]

The one thing that I will always remember from my time growing up mormon, is a single line from a nursery hymn that I think summarizes the religious superiority and toxicity that they hold: "there's a right way to be happy, and you must always choose the right" makes me feel sick every time I think back on it, and I think its pretty self explanatory on why its messed up.

[@great-wyrmII]

Yeah, like wtf?

[@dragonseeker5474]

Didn’t know id wake up and learn me and my fave EmKay narrator had similar lives growing up. I was raised Mormon until around 18 and left because I was looked down on and chastised for being myself. I’m now an out and proud bisexual woman who isn’t going to have kids ever (which is seen as a sin to a lot of crazy Mormon people) I’m much happier now than I was growing up :)

[@BringMayFlowers]

The problem with thinking dinosaurs never existed is that dinosaurs still exist. They're known as birds.

[@Monitor-t9g]

Like HOW THE HACK DO THEY NOT GET THAT

[@christinamann3640]

If I see a bunch of clothes lying around, I would be watching out for the crowds of naked people running around 😂

[@matthewfrederick1241]

Being from Utah myself I've seen my fair share of religious hatred i was chased out of houses by friends parents as a kid because i wasn't Mormon. People are awful

[@johannsanchocuevas7854]

Damn, I'm sorry

[@anitacrumbly]

I also have religous trauma... thank you for making this video 16 years later because of christians constant bombardment of being douchbags even after therapy i still feel a bit ( a lot) frustrated with those type of posts and especially the ones that dare to come at me in person. In youth group once they were praying for my soul because i asked to many questions (i stopped believing at 12) and i started drawing pentagrams with my fingers as we held hands those girls faces were hilarious.

[@BinglesP]

I unconverted from Christianity when I was a kid/preteen too. Converted on my own decisions to Buddhism around 12, but I'm still not very religious. Props to feeling better currently; that must've been really tough, I'm happy you got out of there.

[@anitacrumbly]

@@BinglesP aww thank you i hope you got to a safer happier place too :)

[@krasistefanovlol]

im sorry what people were in a circle, praying to bless your soul because you asked too many questions?? thats so goddamn stupid and i love seeing the stupidity of stupid people

[@Grag235]

@@krasistefanovlol As a Christian, that has never happened to me, so I’m legit shocked that other people had the most strangest interactions with toxic religious people while they were religious themselves (At that time)

[@krasistefanovlol]

@@Grag235 same, but instead of being extremely negative at the toxic religious people, i just point and laugh at them because of the stupidity

[@ZeldaAce9592]

To all the people who believe in Jesus and still discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community, I have but one quote for you. “This is my commandment, That you love one another, as I have loved you” John 15:12.

[@callhimtim3188]

They've convinced themselves that the most hateful behavior imaginable is actually loving.

[@ZeldaAce9592]

@@callhimtim3188 that’s confusing and not all of them

[@ZeldaAce9592]

@@callhimtim3188 I believe in Jesus

[@johannsanchocuevas7854]

​@@ZeldaAce9592he's talking about the fundamentalist jerks who desire harm to others that are not like him, like the people on the video.

[@kooskoos1234]

"my love is unconditional as long as you follow my conditions"

[@aoihopewind]

29:42 It's a chart of the *contradictions* in the bible. i.e. where one verse directly contradicts another. the bar at the bottom is the length of the corresponding verse. There's an updated version on Patheos :D

[@Tello_Hhere]

This is a grear example of either a BMW Individual M760Li xDrive Model V12 Excellence moment or a 2017 Ford F-150 Ecoboost moment.

[@johannsanchocuevas7854]

And then they say that the bible is 'all-perfect'

[@jordanenby9734]

"I think he already did! All over that rock!" I cracked up laughing.

[@krasistefanovlol]

amazing joke

[@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789]

Ppl have been saying that new music is demonic forever. Rap? Rock n Roll? Jazz? Hell, I'm willing to bet that even back when classical songs were being written some people were like "SATAN IS TRYING TO INFECT YOU THROUGH OCRESTRAS"

[@claveworks]

My house burned down but, my block of titanium survived! All hail the Titanium Block!

[@smc415]

No, you're wrong because one half of my house burnt down, but the other half survived, all hail the other half of the house!

[@JoshCottrell21]

0:10 I believe this is in reference to the belief that Christianity is supposed to be a relationship with Jesus and less of a “religion” with rules and whatnot. Meaning that Christians that get caught up in the religious aspects of Christianity and basically miss the entire freaking point of being a good person to others and not putting yourself on a pedestal.

[@locobrown]

EmKay blew up to a grand scale ever since Robin came on board. He gets us. Keep doing whacha do Em....Kay. 😎

[@solgaleo3533]

34:05 I’m actually incredibly surprised they even read it in the first place, considering it’s about dragons, you’d think they’d automatically go “dragons=demons” and declare it satanic

[@meinm3575]

25:13 - Can I get a 'WAP WAP' ! Also I love that her first thought, her go-to was "...some chant to the devil??..." xD

[@loriw2661]

Pascals Wager…the “what if you’re wrong” that Christian’s say to me, an atheist. They don’t realize that THEY could be wrong……worshipping the wrong god. After all, it all depends on, to whom and from where, you were born.

[@greenapple9477]

This reminds me of an imgur post I saw recently. One guy representing science says "reality does not match my views, therefore my views must change" and a lady representing religion says " "reality does not match my views, therefore reality must change""

[@Tasuke]

As a Christian myself, I actually love religious memes! They're pretty funny. There are extremists on all sides and they suck so it's better to poke fun at them.

[@Grag235]

As a Christian, same💀 (My auto correct turned Christian into Christmas, am I a holiday?)

[@coolkat3103]

Same

[@kekevids134]

@@coolkat3103coolkat jumpscare??????

[@justaguywithapowerpole]

Booo rleigion

[@minaashido518]

@@justaguywithapowerpoleagreed but rude

[@cradlemetosleep]

love how hypocritical some of these people are

[@Adam.Frazier]

I don’t

[@crazgolem1347]

Most christians are normal, the insane ones just are more noticed and make everyone else look bad.

[@greenapple9477]

@@Adam.FrazierMost don't. Sarcasm man.

[@Phozzix]

Some Christians seem to get very upset over opinions, as long as the opinion isn't THEIR opinion, then the opinion is correct. They even get upset at other Christians who have different opinions like "gay people exist", "you can have an abortion if you want", "trans people exist and god made them that way", "love everyone even if you don't agree", and those Some Christians definitely say "I don't cherry pick the bible choose what bits I want to believe" while they are definitely cherry picking the bible choosing what bits they want to believe.

[@vinx.9099]

it's because a lot of christians really are just their own god.

[@Scottsteaux63]

"But we all deserve to suffer for eternity." So ~ let me get this straight. God is love, and loves all God has created. However the moment you're born your default destiny is a lake of fire if you do not follow the right set of rules. Yeah, that's a loving God.

[@alexismyers6053]

1:26:49 my grandma said she heard and observed electricity at the same time my grandpa felt it lol they had moved into an old house when they first got married and the living room had barely any outlets. So my grandpa too a bunch of extension cords, plugged one into the outlet on one side of the room, and started connecting them around the room while stapling them down. When he got to the end, he had a lot of slack, so without unplugging ANY of the cords, he took out a big knife and cut it. Grandma said she saw a big blue ball and head a boom, then the grandpa went flying across the room. He somehow survived but was dazed. All my grandma could think while he was getting ready to cut was “he’s not that stupid. He’s not that stupid.” Then after he was flung across the room, she said out loud “wow! You really ARE that stupid!” He has NOT gotten better with age.

[@greenapple9477]

Oof, it must've been a miracle he survived.

[@alexismyers6053]

@@greenapple9477 he has somehow surged many things in life lol he ALMOST took himself out when he was doing some home repairs. He had taken everything but a heavy lead crystal glass vase off a shelf before he started hammering something under it. Grandma watched that vase get closer and closer to the edge, saw it lined up with his head, and asked “your life insurance is paid up, right?” That made him stop and look around. He noticed the vase, took it down, and went back to what he was doing. Grandma jokingly scolds herself for having said anything.

[@great-wyrmII]

Must've been Cchristian to be that dumb.

[@Artiztisaurus]

34:20 so i read those wings of fire books a while back and for anyone a bit confused to who the review is referring to i think they are talking about Sundew and Willow being together so uh yeah hope this helped i guess

[@MildlyBored]

I'm so used to the metal pipe SFX that I don't even remember getting jump-scared by it at one point.

[@BloodeyRose]

52:46 the reason we wear wedding rings is, yes, cause of old Roman tradition and, Fun fact, the reason it is placed on the left ring finger, is because the Romans thought it had a vein that led straight to the heart

[@irisbaggins]

32:51 I would genuinely love just...a whole track in this style, it's very pleasant to listen to, even with the...unpleasant context.

[@ohthatsabaseball5824]

I just don't get these people, that force their religion on others. I am a devout Cthulhu worshipper, but I am glad for every person that doesn't have to join

[@great-wyrmII]

Uhhh... does cthulu offer dental by chance?

[@great-wyrmII]

Cuz god doesn't sooo...

[@ohthatsabaseball5824]

@@great-wyrmII If you ask the Old Ones nicely, it's not impossible. You may get some extra teeth and existencial dread, if they really like you

[@great-wyrmII]

@@ohthatsabaseball5824 nice, do they offer fangs or just regular teeth? 😂

[@KaapoKallio]

How can i join your religion?

[@thatlazywolfo9057]

6:40 this post is literally one of the features of Gilead in The handmaids tale. Deadass took away hello and replaced it with "praise be"

[@erinmalone2669]

I really wanna hear your excommunication story😂😂😂 for the record: Children are baptized by force, or rather, by not knowing what is going on, in most denominations, because it is when they are very, very little.

[@trollhimforever]

I feel bad for the relatively chill christians losing their reputation from not very chill christians

[@vinx.9099]

@@skinnytiny5633 be careful with things like "hate the sin, not the sinner", it often used in really bad ways. if you use it for something like theft sure, but many christians use it against homosexual people. when you ask them if they consider their ability to love their partner part of them, they'll quickly shut up, signifying that they don't consider gay people as capable of loving.

[@dylanrapp7629]

Yeah, sometimes I get irrationally angry seeing this stuff and then I have to pause and remember that most of them are just people.

[@Barakon]

1:15 I’m pretty sure that churches are adorned with a certain luesistic variety of granavorous theropod.

[@thomasfrye6335]

Just on the one post, but if I remember correctly Hello was originally an abbreviated form of “Hail be to god,” making that person both wrong morally for trying to mess with people talking, and about their own “fact”

[@mimimoomoo2902]

My true heaven is when I die I just get the joy of sitting in like a classroom full of Christians being questioned by god on why they said the things they did and telling them that he didn’t say stuff that they for some reason thinks he did even tho it was never written in the Bible and how they’ve been to hard on themselves and others for making life so seem like a means to only repopulate when we really don’t need to worry about that like AT All and we show just be enjoying our live and now making it hell for others and damn sure not your own kids

[@alandoyle1077]

Celtic people thousands of years ago: “let’s make a tradition we’re we dress up as different things to confuse and ward off evil spirits, then we will be safe from monsters!!” Some random people who failed history: “wAAAaAahaAaAaAaAHHh hALLowEen sCarY iTs ThE deViLs hOliDayYyY>:(((((“

[@ryuwarrior89]

Who says dinosaurs never went to church? Were they there? (This is intended as satire btw).

[@EarleTKG]

The dinosaurs definitely went to watering hole services on Sunday.

[@cliffisawesome3]

Church didn't exist back then

[@ImYourCherryBomb]

@@cliffisawesome3r/woosh

[@adrianblake8876]

Fun fact, we're closer in time to the day of dinosaur extinction than the first dinosaur to walk the earth was. (Common phrased as, we're closer to seeing a live Tyrannosaur than a live Stegosaur was...)

[@EarleTKG]

@@adrianblake8876 I get what you’re trying to say in the first part, but it comes off in a confusing way.

[@denverarnold6210]

5:12 actually, calling it a "democracy in the bedroom" is very apt. In a healthy relationship, both should agree, or nothing happens.

[@ptonpc]

Mental health services are an under appreciated aspect of society. Crazy is crazy.

[@kingofawesomeness99]

What's funny is they don't even live by their own rules, that one about Donald Trump being declared perfect by God and God bowing down to him is blasphemy and it breaks the first commandment

[@TylerMusgrave9]

Me and my 41 friends should make fun of a bald guy in the ocean, with the protection of a sea-bear circle, just to show God who's boss.

[@AmazingRoni]

jack's pained singing of "love is in bloom" at 32:49 is the funniest thing in this video

[@docternoblex]

The math one made me cringe so hard that I folded in half

[@lindseymapouno415]

43:15 if I remember well, the closest and more notable thing, from that in the Bible, was an incident where demons use we/us not "they/them"pronouns. It was in Marc 5:9 when Jésus had to exorcise a poor soul, who was tormented by a Demonic entities... Jésus asked for their name, and they responded by "My name is legion, for WE are many"... then Jésus allow them to possess porks and they eventually jumped of a cliff and drowned. That's it... the owner of this post, conveniantly forget to mention, that demons use correct grammar when they are plural...

[@koinking1665]

10:12 I can confirm that a whole lot of the relationships education (what they used to call SE) is on being LGBTQ and I go to a Catholic school in the UK.

[@great-wyrmII]

Yeah it's actually really rked up that theyvtry to force it.

[@NK029]

We all need the short clip of HBomerGuy slamming the [Citation Needed] button to call out unsupported BS every fucking time it happens. Although I suspect it would be broken by the end of this video.

[@BinglesP]

One of the best decisions in my life was converting to Buddhism myself, based on my own thought and research, never forcing(or even suggesting) anyone to convert, and not becoming so religiously-centered that I became so stubborn as to say people(that aren't hurting anyone else in the process) should stop living their lives the way they want to. (Also, before anyone calls out my name for being too pretentious or hypocritical: "Praise" refers to compliments, not to prayer)

[@firebrand7816]

I went to church for maybe two years from 7-8, we started going for my grandma because her mom had just passed but I definitely haven't been hit with a meteor lol

[@reeree772]

Everytime I went to church I screamed and screamed and yet no space rock

[@_ksm0922]

"The whole world uses 'hi' and 'hello' as a form of demonic worship blah blah blah" Korean: ayo you in peace? Bonus: Goodbye is "go in peace" or "stay in peace" depending on whether the speaker is leaving or staying.

[@frostthefox702]

this is why i believe in a giant space turtle named steven

[@TrulyAJ]

Stevenism

[@lil_stuu]

11:23 I have a similar story to yours, except i’m still being forced to go to church. The same religion and everything, i’m done with parents who indoctrinate their children and don’t let them leave the church or said religion.

[@great-wyrmII]

Agreed, it's feed up.

[@demiakumu]

If one standard is good, having double must be better.

[@nolanasd6092]

The death penalty thing is that he could theoretically be charged with high treason for running an insurection. A crime which has historically resulting in firing squads and gallows.

[@osheridan]

29:37 That is a representation of every time the Bible directly contradicts itself

[@Jess-du3hc]

34:34 :/ ...so writing a book with not-real homosexual people will make you be mercilessly thrown into the 9 layers of hell for the rest of eternity? Oh yeah sure... Makes _complete_ sense!

[@great-wyrmII]

And they're dragons, not even dragons can be gay bruh.

[@shinerstheseagull]

I remember (I think it was middle school) when I, a Christian (now I’m agnostic), was asked by my atheist best friend what I’d do if it was proven god wasn’t real. I thought for a second and simply said “have an existential crisis.” I still hope there’s some sort of afterlife or reincarnation because the thought of nothing continues to freak me out.

[@greenapple9477]

Same.

[@vinx.9099]

one thought that helps a lot of people: your experience after you are dead will be like your experience before you were born. existence wasn't uncomfortable before you were born, so why would you fear it coming back?

[@shinerstheseagull]

@@vinx.9099 That's a nice way of looking at it, and it honestly sounds like one of the most reasonable takes I've heard

[@theantitroll]

Will there be more r/religiousfruitcake videos?

[@skootergirl22]

It's weird that Mr. Beast is similar to Jesus. Both fed the poor and healed the sick. Both had a group of friends, but so far, beast hasn't been betrayed yet but has been hung on the digital cross so many times called being cancelled

[@levidezern3190]

Exactly

[@skootergirl22]

@levidezern3190 and he bounces back

[@judahsmyth5398]

with the one at about 1:17:55, pretty sure the reason Eve was without clothes is because they saw each others bodies the same way as animals see each other, before they ate the fruit, they did not see nakedness, they simply saw each other, it was the fruit of knowing good and evil that made them actually notice their nakedness, and so became ashamed

[@krasistefanovlol]

also maybe eve didn't have clothes is because the actual concept of clothes didn't really exist back then

[@judahsmyth5398]

@@krasistefanovlol yeah, if i remember right, the first 'clothes' was a bunch of leaves god put on them before sending them out of the garden so that they cannot eat of the tree of eternal life

[@adrianblake8876]

​@@judahsmyth5398Actually the leaves were Adam and Eve's idea. God gave them leather tunics (ie, stereotypical caveman clothes)...

[@krasistefanovlol]

@@judahsmyth5398 so its a leaf shirt? bit dumb but ok

[@judahsmyth5398]

@@adrianblake8876 ah, thanks for clarifying, it's been a long time since read the bible so i probably forgot more specifics anyway

[@YaBoiHyper]

truly an emkay classic.

[@NoBody-ty2er]

I’m surprised it wasn’t “The fruitiest of r/religiousfruitcake”

[@FurretFan2424]

Nearly 1 and 3/4 hours of this subreddit, nice

[@kiwid3628]

I read "The Crucible" by Arthur Miller recently for my English class. This stuff just REEKS of mass hysteria.

[@edwinmaster7326]

29:34 that IS the chart of cross references, but there is a similar chart in red with the contradictions

[@crybaby7477]

i love how my family is saying gays are forcing that unto children, when they are literaly just existing, but then force their children into their religion and abuse them if they dont

[@2groovey]

32:49 Ah a person of culture, also you owe my a new Tea since i was not expecting that song to show up XD

[@lekiscool]

Hello and Hi are relatively new words because the invention of the phone. I believe hello was used on the first cross country call because the phone user realized it was something like afternoon where they were calling and morning where they were. Saying Good Morning to someone in the Afternoon didn’t seem right. Since they are relatively new theres gonna be similar sounding words across languages.

[@adrianblake8876]

Hi sounds similar to "hey" and "hey" (or a phonetically and semantically similar word) is a hapax legomenon in the Hebrew Bible. When Joseph is asked by the Egyptians for grain, he says to them "Hey, your seed. Sow the land"... Fun fact, this word is also the name of the fifth Hebrew letter, which evolved into "E"...

[@hmnhntr]

It seems like the word itself comes from the American South and Midwest in the mid 1800s, from either "hollo", a shout to grab people's attention from ba distance, or "hola", from Hispanic people living in the region.

[@kevinr.9733]

"Where's my existence-ending space rock?" He promised to stop doing that after Noah.

[@xjakanton2576]

(As an ex-christian) Why do chirstians make it so easy to like Satan? If heaven was real, I wouldn't want to be stuck up there with people like them. That would be actual hell.

[@Thelocaltransmascidiot42]

29:33 It's the amount of chapters in each book, Psalms, the longest book is in the middle with the longest line.

[@judaspriestfan]

imagine a world without relgion, i wish we could live in that reality

[@imvivalamilo]

Religion is the cause of almost all wars. WW2 happened because of Hitler’s hatred of Judaism.

[@Chortle.]

It’s a good thing but imagine if we lived in a world without people who weaponize religion. My theory is that if heaven is real. God or whoever will judge the quality of your character.

[@midnight4685]

1:37:09 Fun fact! It's actually a great way to keep orphans alive and probably minorly contain population size. A lot of gay species in nature take care of abandoned eggs/young. It's interesting stuff if you want to know more, though I know the OP doesn't.

[@harumskarum3481]

It's been too long since I experienced socialism in the bedroom.

[@TheBald5000]

“I shatted on shatterday” - Robin 1:08:36

[@HAIL_TO_THE_KING5]

This sub destroyed my brain cells and I need a physiatrist and probably need to be sent to an asylum

[@nyxylemon4440]

20:00 I was drinking water and heard this and immediately laughed so hard that the water came out of my nose.