The TRUTH About ADHD in Adults | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Ready to unlock your potential? 🚀 bit.ly/2024makeithappen 👈 Sign up for my FREE 2-part training, Make It Happen with Mel Robbins. It’s designed to show you exactly HOW you can go from dreaming to doing!
-
More and more adults are being diagnosed with #ADHD, so today, we are unpacking the 6 surprising signs of ADHD. I also tell you why so many women, in particular, go undiagnosed.
In this episode, we go deep into what ADHD is: a neurological disorder that affects the #brain structurally and chemically. I explain the signs and the #science behind what is going on in your brain to help you live a better life.
If you ever wondered if you have ADHD, if you feel like menopause is making it worse, or if you struggle with #anxiety, an eating disorder, or low self-esteem, you have to listen. All these might be symptoms of ADHD.
This episode goes way beyond an inability to focus, because ADHD is so much more. This is an education in how your brain works, how focus works, and how to help yourself or someone in your life who may have ADHD.
Today you’ll learn:
- Why women have been profoundly underdiagnosed
- Four key differences between genders with ADHD
- Why my diagnosis was both a blessing and a curse
- The surprising way most women find out
- Six symptoms of ADHD that most people don’t catch
- The connection between anxiety and depression and ADHD
- Resources and hacks to help you take charge over your symptoms
In addition to:
00:00 Intro
05:20 The surprising backdoor way I was diagnosed with ADHD.
08:34 What I learned about the “lost generation” that has blown me away.
10:41 A terrifyingly important statistic that led to this podcast episode.
11:45 The definition of ADHD that may make you feel better about yours.
13:51 Why are women under-diagnosed? The differences in symptoms.
23:25 This is how ADHD impacts your brain.
25:51 A really clear metaphor to explain how your brain silences noise, or doesn’t.
36:52 How is it I have ADHD, yet I can hyper-focus?
42:42 More surprising symptoms of ADHD that might make your relationships hard.
43:55 This one hack helps me get birthday gifts for others on time.
45:14 The jobs I loved because they worked well with ADHD.
49:06 Now here’s the good news!
53:06 A predictive statistic about children that you’re going to want to hear.
Listen to the #podcast episode "6 Surprising Signs of Adult ADHD" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
-
Catch full episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast here on KZbin bit.ly/tmrp_playlist 📺
Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast while you're on-the-go! link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=l... 🎧 Available wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday (to start your week) and Thursday (to get you through it).
-
Subscribe to the channel here: kzbin.info?su...
-
Follow me here:
Instagram: / melrobbins
TikTok: / melrobbins
Facebook: / melrobbins
Website: melrobbins.com
-
Want my most popular KZbin videos sent straight to your inbox? Sign up here: www.melrobbins.com/ytnewsletter
-
Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!
High 5 Habit: amzn.to/3fMvfPQ
The 5 Second Rule: amzn.to/3372Rl9

[@annmcleod1783]

Who else is reading the comments while trying to listen to the video...

[@deannminnebo4736]

Summary: 1. Hyper focus 2. Difficulty controlling emotions 3. Impulsive shopping/overspending or other addictions or impulsivity 4. Poor time management 5. High functioning/workaholic 6. Highly self-critical

[@kwildernurse]

All of me 😮

[@SG-wi5wx]

Well shit... Here I am starting to think I need to get this managed...

[@janetrussell2908]

Got ‘em all

[@Bewareinjustice]

Wow I have them all too plus anxiety 😢

[@VictoriaEPines]

@@Bewareinjustice Me as well. Currently prescribed Adderall and recently Hydroxyzine for Anxiety. I’ve blown through thousands of dollars my Mom left me after she passed with really nothing to show for it (investments etc). It’s absurd.

[@Passiyona]

"wonder why is it effortless for everybody else but you..." I am crying

[@StAu8390]

This part scared me the most. I used to ask my friends, how do you do it. As though there’s a method I just wasn’t taught to follow

[@jermaincenac2214]

Me too😢😢

[@nomoretears11356]

I'm 68 and this has explained my depression, frustration, and low self-esteem. Why I can't stay on top of things in my life. I'm crying for you and I

[@cheriedye5772]

Diagnosed at 59. But friends and family were in denial even though I told them that this explains why I have struggled so much in my life. But they never saw these struggles because I am good at masking. But masking for your whole life is EXHAUSTING !!

[@lisawells5854]

I'm 59 - and realizing this may explain everything!!! And yes.....I'm exhausted!!

[@janshineable]

I’m 55 and just now realizing (and diagnosed by a doctor) that ADD/ ADHD has been my issue. Years and years of depression, anxiety & other issues have gone by with me thinking I’m defective. Thank you for sharing.

[@TheDavveponken]

Everyone , look into childhood trauma. It is much more reasonable of an explanation. Especially since it seems your family isn't supportive in general. Likely it is your friends and family that is making you sick. Sadly enough. Ritalin ruined my life.

[@KellyAnnVenturella24]

What do you mean masking

[@patty2049]

I looked for anything that could give me relief from my self loathing. This included alcohol drugs promiscuity (I didn’twant sex but attention gave me some dopamine). At 58 when I self diagnosed I wanted to cry but couldn’t because how exhausted I was. My life has been a disappointment myself and to many around me. At least I know now.

[@jro0807]

I know I have ADHD because it was so painful to stay focused and get through this video. The constant “what we’re gonna tell you later” and long winded had me check out. I had to pause and replay for days to get through it. My mind is always wanting people to get the the point and fast.

[@GreatMindsSeekTruth]

That’s how I usually am with many videos. I think because I related to everything in this video….it held my attention.

[@incognito1067]

We had the same symptoms. The whole family must have ADHD! 😳

[@janeteer833]

Great information. Although the use of swear words was very distracting from the point of the video. I kept thinking of those swear words and I couldn't focus on the video

[@wholeliferita]

I just woke up from drifting off.... Do I have ADHD 😂 I am kidding. I know I do This is my typical morning of rabbit hole "learning" videos

[@Art_by_Nicole]

And at the same time if you want to tell something you are all over the place? 😬😂

[@GloriaW888]

Thank you Mel! It’s so hard when a person with ADHD says “I am exhausted and overwhelmed”and they get a reply like “yeah but you are always exhausted and overwhelmed, it’s like that’s where you want to be”. And I think to myself, who wants to be exhausted and overwhelmed all the time?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@carpediem4413]

That’s the reply my wife gives me all the time. I am always exhausted & overwhelmed and she just doesn’t understand.

[@salemal-haddad5563]

@@carpediem4413my heart goes out to u brother. Accept that she’ll never understand cuz even when she does. She’ll say “u making up excuses “ they’ll never understand why bother explaining

[@wendyhannan2454]

People don’t understand , I didn’t understand until diagnosed, and we do get exhausted and overwhelmed. This talk has helped tremendously, its good when you have someone with ADHD, talking about ADHD.🙏

[@mjjasond7686]

❤️Mel, This podcast could easily become a study session for ALL young girls ❣️ I'm 61 now but when I was in my twenties I was diagnosed with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder, also had psoriasis, chronic trouble sleeping, & ALL the other attributes You describe. I was a "hyper" child, but I skipped 1st grade, and tested at 9th grade college prep education, when I graduated 6th grade. Then I became a latchkey kid (my parents got divorced that summer). Thrown to the wolves from seventh grade on where I basically raised myself. I fit the profile you describe so perfectly, it's uncanny and disturbing. We have got to do more to let this information reach girls & womens brains!!!!!!!! Mel, I'm finally getting my college education. I'm getting it from You, and I thank You ❣️

[@robinsweet1827]

EXACTLY!!!

[@maggieariotti8640]

The grief. The grief. The grief. The sorrow of loss never goes away. Diagnosed at 42. It takes years to learn how to control the habitual behaviors. The lost potential from all the screw ups. Thank you for this podcast. I have never posted before.

[@cathyclemans4002]

I was born in 1950 and ADHD was not on the radar. No treatment and no one understood it. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD in my 40’s. Suffered from low self esteem and not feeling worthy, depression, anxiety, never felt good enough! It was so difficult to overcome! It is worth the effort to overcome and you’re never too old to start the process learn how to cope with it.

[@cpucilowski]

Age 63 here and JUST self-diagnosed myself!!! I’ve struggled GREATLY and today I cried in deep mourning for my crazy life! This is huge!

[@sukiatwal3762]

aww im so happy you did~

[@katejones2172]

Me too 64 feeling a bit tearful & sad so many years wasted living with a narc 25 yrs (seperated for 19 yrs) also just a few weeks ago self diagnosed contacted GP filled in form diagnosed as borderline so they need more extensive explanations I've scribble notes _ repeated & repeated that was 2 months ago trying to make sense of my scribbles so I can send it off to see if they will see me for an official diagnoses well if I'm not then I sure am crazy!

[@katejones2172]

I'm tearing my hair out at the mo was made redundant 2020 was having a bit of a breakdown anyway so was relieved but also scared tried a cleaning job lasted 3 evenings! Now on a placement in a retail store (16 hrs) pw for 4 weeks but don't get paid no air con sweating buckets along with everyone else but allowed water bottles buses are only every hour

[@katejones2172]

Also ex narc is playing up we've managed to be civil for 19 yrs but he let his mask slip a few weeks ago when I locked myself out then devalued me when babysitting & told me not 'to be so sensitive WOMAN ' which totally triggered me but I DID Say DONT CALL ME WOMAN

[@katejones2172]

Apologies for going on but things seem to becoming to a perfect storm 😭

[@carolthorman398]

I’m 80 years old in January 24. I have self diagnosed with ADHD in this past year - ever since I heard my son and daughter have both been officially diagnosed. For decades I thought there was something wrong with me personality wise. I’m completely unnerved by what I’m learning. I now realise my mother had ADHD. It’s too late for me now - how I wish this neurological disorder was understood decades and decades ago… when I was getting “smacked” at school - from 5 years old - for not concentrating, talking all the time, fidgeting etc etc. Add that to being born into a high control religious cult and I wonder how I’ve made it to this age without killing myself. I now live alone and look after myself well. I feel in old age I’ve finally sailed into a calm harbour and my adhd has calmed down finally.

[@BrownBarbie100]

Cult survivors r beyond the epitome of strong. And Aquarius!

[@eduardoguizarperez8417]

Which cult?

[@andybrown1465]

Hello Carol.. My name is Andy, I live in Queensland Australia and same birth date as mine, I’m 69 years old.. My whole life has been a train wreck, hurting people that loved me, and I have no real friends. It has been a long long battle to see what was wrong with me. I have lived in denial and yes I know now things would have so different if I sort help 40 years ago. I have finally got into a psychiatric after a twelve moth wait. He has put me on Aspen Dexamfetamine 5mg, but I don’t feel any better.

[@lilmem07]

My birthday is January 26 🙂 I also think my mum has ADHD. Sending love and good wishes 💖

[@schar-a-leesmith8018]

It’s not too late to get treatment! You deserve to feel the peace of getting help. It doesn’t matter what your age is, you still have value, and can make a difference. Don’t let your age be the reason you don’t seek a formal diagnosis by a psychiatrist. I took an ADHD med for the first time about 3 weeks ago, and I had NO IDEA my brain could be “calm and quiet”. I could focus at work, and am able to carry out more “executive functioning” tasks easier.

[@kasiarodkey5149]

I was lucky to be born in 2003 and knew I had adhd since I was about 9. I’ve had years to master it, learn to help it and control it, and use it for things I need. Still, I had two drs refuse to treat me over the years because women don’t have adhd! I’m sorry to you guys, who were undiagnosed for most of your lives. I love you ladies!

[@OneOfTheFirstToWatchStarTrek]

This means so much. Thank you for your generosity of spirit. ❤

[@erinin8433]

You are very lucky you got diagnosed in the 2000's. I was born in 1981 and was diagnosed at 6 years old. At that time, they didn't know as much as they know now. I have some pretty gnarly stories from school, especially elementary school.

[@StellaMcFly]

One of my sons is three years younger than you, and was diagnosed at six with ADHD and ASD. (Around 2012.) I just now, at 40, received my diagnosis. It took jumping through so many hoops to even get them to test me, and I've presented strong symptoms since I was a toddler. It's a shame they waited until I was old enough to have high blood pressure, because now I can't take stimulants.

[@StellaMcFly]

Also, those doctors failed you deeply, and I am so incredibly sorry you were forced to go through this. Medical gaslighting of women is a severely overabundant threat. I have some choice words for doctors who do this, and none of them can be typed here without the KZbin timeout chair being used.

[@tknows470]

When she said “I felt so incompetent “, I started to cry. I am part of the lost generation. I was very high functioning and outwardly successful - until I became a mom. 😢

[@DianaSilva-mf4td]

Why until you became a mom?

[@MommaBeeb]

I am 16 months into motherhood. I fully feel like I’ve been able to cope pretty well until recently.

[@Teachingtea]

Omg, yes.

[@jenniferjordan2228]

The grief that comes with a late diagnosis is insurmountable

[@TaniaVelasquezMassage]

I have felt a degree of grief everyday since… diagnosis is a mixed blessing

[@hereharehere]

No it isn't.

[@1337flite]

54 and not diagnosed but absolutely postitve I'm AutiHD. It is so hard to think about the past and how hard life was/is.

[@staceenault3847]

I agree but all we can do now is move forward with more grace for ourselves …and others.

[@Tomodachi91ve]

I dont feel any sort of grief, just happy to know whats happening and working on it.

[@stacyagee1839]

I am a teacher and I have been trying to tell others about the difference in symptoms from boys to girls. Many have looked at me like I am crazy because the girls do not show outward signs. Listening to this podcast confirmed everything I have been saying. I will continue to share with others. Thank you!

[@debbierobertson9221]

Wow I knew I was different! Am over 60 now. I relate to all you have taught! What a life. Especially the low self esteem and feeling so negative about myself! Lol surprised I am still alive? What to do now???

[@lindavincent678]

Luv. U.

[@angelahammond6635]

My daughter has inattentive ADHD and just diagnosed at 20! She did well in elementary school and it slowly progressed until she got to college and it blew up! I wish I had the education to realize the issues with her that I know now. I really am beating myself up about it.

[@robertduluth8994]

Men are absolutely capable of turnin inwards why do you promote a black and white dichotomy?

[@lachimuishere5815]

I could have written this!

[@carlyobenauer]

I was just officially diagnosed with ADHD and I am about to be 37. I am a recovery addict and alcoholic and just recently celebrated 16 years clean and sober. I reflect on my life and so relate to what you said about mourning. I am so very grateful to be officially diagnosed after many years of trying to get the assessment. The medication has been life changing. I have been in therapy for 16 years and will continue ❤to

[@justrandomthought]

At 53, this is me. And my daughter is 15, this is her. I'm calling our doctors in the morning. ❤

[@JustADude1900ish]

I’m 30, male, and an attorney. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 25 after I failed the LSAT 3x to get into law school. All my life I skated by school and did “ok” but was always told that “if I applied myself I’d do so much better.” Getting diagnosed with ADHD was such a breath of fresh air and really validated a lot of things that I felt over the years. Since my diagnosis my life was dramatically improved and I’m much happier. Wishing y’all the best 🙏🏻

[@brietimesthree]

If I had a quarter for all the times I heard “if you apply yourself…” in school, I’d be rich. I skated by too.

[@DeadOnInfil]

I was told the same thing all through school. Your experience sounds very familiar.

[@saylorgirl799]

I’m 63, a retired pharmacist who wasn’t diagnosed until age 36, and yes, I heard that EXACT SAME LINE from all of my teachers all the way through school! Luckily for me, I had a high IQ, and an ALMOST-photographic memory so I was able to “skate” through grades 1-12 with minimal effort, but I had to LEARN how to study for college level calculus/chemistry/physics etc. And in pharmacy college, I became the “Queen-of-the-all-night-study” group (just like Mel mentioned). I needed that ADRENALINE RUSH of the last-minute/late-night studying in order to get my brain to FOCUS! But when you’re having to learn and retain MASSIVE VOLUMES of material, you really can’t continue using that as a study strategy! 😳

[@caseyface8585]

If I had even .1 for each time I heard “if you only applied yourself” from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, etc I would probably be a millionaire from those pennies alone. I can relate so much to this!!

[@dennismartinez2]

The story of my life "'if you apply yourself"

[@padmapatil11]

14:55 symptoms overall 17:50 impact on women 27:55 what actually happens 33:07 adhd research brain scan 39:00 difficulty in control emotions 41:00 high functioning

[@jillebeling8237]

Thanks for mapping this. Very helpful.

[@angelarose7573]

Thankyou, my attention span is t as long as this video ❤

[@rebetha29]

Thanks! Had to speed up the podcast. Seems the beginning repeats the same info over and over.

[@ceec9976]

thank yoouu❤

[@katyavictoriajoy]

Great! Thanks

[@Hison-Dcarman]

I got diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 16, spent my whole life fighting ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.

[@Qing__001]

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

[@Bastianbishops]

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.

[@TomSanders-qv8bv]

YES Dr.alishrooms

[@SusanaGomez-mp8sk]

Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the morning after. So no hangovers. No depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now have a more calm mind

[@smith23652]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@donnamoen9643]

I will be 68 in April this year and I want to tell you that I have been profoundly affected by this podcast. I saw myself in almost everything you said, the behavours, self loathing, self harming, suicidal thoughts, that relentless voice telling me that I was no good, I couldn't do anything right, I was stupid etc, etc. I am going to seek professional help. I have been taking medication for depression/anxiety for over 25 years. Time to find out how to help my brain. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Bless you.

[@nawelbehlouli5302]

I am in the way, at my age 55 , stil no diagnose, depression for years, without medicine, just trying in my OWN to survive and keep going , my soon has been this month thrue a question liste where i mis thediagnose of his barain. Alle the symptomen are present. Why the our doctor is not aware of those symptomen to diagnose it earlyer? I am 🇩🇿🇩🇿🇩🇿ALG leaving in Holland🙏🙏🙏thank you very much for your support.

[@ForeverTogether219]

Pray 🙏 that you find all Your answers 🙏

[@chell5010]

With or without the diagnosis follow your heart

[@olee457]

Getting my diagnosis at 30 was life-changing for me. Truly one of the most healing answers. And the IRONY is that I’m a clinical psychologist and I had gaslit myself for years, thinking ‘It’s just burnout; maybe it’s depression; I’m just lazy, etc etc etc.”

[@loujones5388]

I was diagnosed in my mid thirties when I was working as an LCSW as a mental health consultant. When I started double booking meetings and became distracted easily in an open office setting, I went to have it checked out. I was very good at hyper focusing and this helped. Around that time I found a book called, “I am not lazy, crazy, or stupid” written by a woman with ADHD for women. It helped me shift from being so hypercritical, but there is no magic bullet. I am in my 60’s now and it is still work. Great video, btw. I will share this friends.

[@kidsmom928]

I'm self diagnosed but the phrases I have heard in my head so many times is "lazy, unmotivated, lack of drive, what's wrong with me". I have learned to not over schedule myself, set timers and alarms as I hate being late, say no more often to things I really don't want or need to do so I can joyfully and gladly say yes when it matters. Crocheting has really brought calm and peace to my busy mind. I also fall asleep to a movie or podcast, interviews, etc so my mind shuts off without the stress of things running and running in my mind.

[@azaleaemb]

Thank you! I was diagnosed at 57! Yes, yes, yes! My life closely parallels yours. All I have to say is go get diagnosed! Now it’s no longer “What’s wrong with me?” but INSTEAD AFTER MEDS: “OMG IS THIS HOW NORMAL PEOPLE THINK?!” What can we do to help get rid of the stigma of treating our brains? I’m a pastor and my church committee that oversees me told me to not talk about my ADHD, my meds, or going to the Psychiatrist..Really!? You tell me all about your colonoscopies and hemorrhoid treatments. I’m not going to hide this part of my life! Someone like us needs to hear it.

[@michellecd4722]

@azaleaemb As a pastor you're a walker of Truth so I say be your unapologetically beloved self! Your church committee needs to do their own inner work & I suggest Matt Kahn's teachings, that'd really throw them for a loop! lol, lol :) So glad to hear you got to the bottom of it & are now rising to the top!! :)

[@krmccarrell]

But, if you please, how do I go about "just go get diagnosed"? I go to a psychiatrist, and all he wants to do is tell me I have depression and here are prescriptions. What do I do?

[@judithdarida6998]

At 59…& bipolar. Lamotrigine is all I’ve taken since then. I also spent 7 yrs with counseling one-on-one and weekly “Group”. Just chatting/listening, with no sideways looks is liberating.😄

[@gingerlicauco5391]

😅 3:36 😅😅 3:36 😅😅😅😅😅😢😮

[@ktmualem]

​@krmccarrell Your Psychiatrist might not do testing. You can see a clinical psychologist or Psychiatrist who specializes in testing (not all of them do.) There are also Neurologists who do neuropsychological testing. If your Psychiatrist isn't willing to help you with testing, find someone who can.

[@midoryesquer8954]

I found this video two days after I was diagnosed with adhd as an adult, and I have never felt so understood. Tears of sadness and happiness streamed down my face during the whole episode. Mel, you honestly have changed my life

[@sandylevan5647]

Hit the nail right on the head! Tomboy, highschool was a nightmare and I was the Class Clown to help cope, procrastination is my middle name, and clutter is my animal spirit! Thank you again!!!

[@christinabest.9058]

Same here. The way that we mask our thoughts and mimic others' behavior is kind of amazing. I still have a lot to work on, but we will get there, my friend.

[@jonathanbonchak7389]

I’m a male with all the symptoms you describe that typically present in women. One of the hardest parts of growing up with all of this was having the super creative side of me constantly squashed by those around me, both adults and other kids, who were threatened by a boy whose interests didn’t fit the mold of our traditional American gender norms for boys. And even though I was straight, it was widely thought by many people that I was gay. When I describe my experience in school to people, the reaction is always a mix of not surprised or so shocked they don’t know what to say. I remember being beaten up, spat on, and called a fa**ot at every turn. Constantly. You pile that onto the ongoing personal trauma in my life that I had been living in since the age of 5 and it’s actually amazing that I didn’t kill myself, though I considered it many times. If you met me on the street today, you’d think I was just another “normal” boring 40-something white guy but it just goes to show you that you never really know what someone has been through or might still be trying to deal with. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us

[@juliaandrews5841]

I was going to ask about if a boy can present with these symptoms. Thanks for sharing btw.

[@forlisac1]

I’m so very sorry. Big hug!

[@Obby_Unsk]

Me too man

[@markstewart6684]

Wow. That sounds so familiar. I'm artistic and creative, and was called those names and more. Physically abused by my peers, and had issues at home. Diagnosed with ADHD at 38. I'm 57, on low dose of focalin xr, and living a great life

[@denisewallace1062]

😅

[@IfOnlyThen]

I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out. No one has ever understood me as much as this video. I have thought I was damaged and that something was wrong with me all my life. EVERYTHING YOU MENTIONED. It’s like you’ve studied my life. It’s such a relief that I know now. I recently gave in and sought out help. It’s been so heartbreaking knowing that I have struggled for 33 years with self loathing. Educating myself has been so empowering.

[@kimberlyperezbihm6319]

I could have copied and pasted your comment as my own. I cried during the entire thing and I didn't know why. I bumped my head on the corner of a cabinet while I was listening and you would have thought my world was ending, I was sobbing. As I continued listening, so many things came clear to me. It's comforting to know I'm not crazy, I'm not weak and I'm not alone. I just don't know where to start to get the help I need but I'm going to keep researching and educating myself and pray I find the answers and guidance so I don't waste the next half of my life the way I have until now. I just turned 49 on Friday and I am starting to realize that I have suffered from this my whole life. I appreciate your comment and just wanted to acknowledge that your words helped me and made me feel better today

[@neridafarrer4633]

Me too. Burst into tears. SO MY LIFE. Except I have Aspergers-Autism and I'm diagnosed with complex ptsd as well. I paused this podcast and rang an ADHD hotline. Waiting for a call back. I'm getting worst with the ADHD and it's ruining my life, and this is after years of working on the trauma brain and autism symptoms and lack of functionality they brought. It was my two youngest sons who alerted me to the possibility of ADHD as they both struggle similarly to me. It doesnt help much being "gifted" as its such a grief to feel you have so much potential but you can't actualise it to the degree one could if one had the right supports. I'm definitely on the path to access thise supports now. I've had enough of this poor functioning.

[@Bloom2Grow]

Same

[@debramadison2881]

Exactly my feeling . I jus couldn't put it into words . Thankyou

[@rachelk1316]

Same here 😢. Makes so much sense now. I'm 40. I know I've had this my entire life.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@camilleschofield7038]

This sealed the deal for me! I went to my psychiatrist and told her I am positive I have ADHD! I am now on some non stimulant medication and I am seeing a huge difference after two months. I was treated for depression, anxiety, and insomnia before. I am so excited to see how my life changes for the better now that I know the problem I can learn how to deal with it. Thanks Mel!!

[@JB-Hae]

What’s your non stimulant med please?

[@s.m.5483]

What is the non stimulant they gave you?

[@helenahasenson8939]

I also need to know!!

[@JoJo-sd5wi]

What's your medication?

[@s.m.5483]

@camilleschofield7083 can u please answer? A lot of us would like to know what non stimulants the Dr gave u. Thanks ☀️

[@jennh2096]

My boyfriend made a flippant comment to me at 25 years old that I had adhd. Took me a minute to realize he was being serious. Talked to a psychiatrist and was officially diagnosed a few months later. So many things all of a sudden made sense. I thought I just sucked at being a responsible adult cause I just wasnt good enough. The more I learn, the more I realize so many things about myself are related to the adhd. Girls are also really good at masking and developing coping systems to hide symptoms, especially if they are intelligent. I never could manage to do my homework and was always scrambling the night before a project was due, but I could still ace a test like nothing and so I managed to keep all As and Bs. So no one ever noticed while I was growing up, that I was just a constant hot mess and barely holding my shit together day in and day out

[@michelleb.7181]

Omg yes! I always thought I just worked better under pressure 😊

[@heatherfeathers]

How beautiful it is to read comments that show me I am not alone nor crazy.

[@Liz-dragon-street.]

❤ I feel you! I am 47 just diagnosed with adhd Only have primary school No drivers license My IQ test was so high when i was 11 that my parents need 2 come 2 school. My sister did everything you can think of in school. Studies, work, more studies, buying houses.. learned many language. And me, i couldn't write, spel, focus or anything. Went out the house at 15.. alcohol, drugs boyfriends bla bla bla ... 1000 jobs, never money and whwn i had money it was gone in a day😮 Now i know because of all the problems i had and didn't know it was adhd ... i have also bpd. Next week my meditation will start and afther that the program dialectical therapy. I hope one day there will be peace ❤ Goodluck and love from Amsterdam

[@lilmem07]

I completely relate. But the last minute thing gets harder as you get older. I'm almost 40 now and have been affected by long covid so I don't have the same stamina so relying on adrenaline to get me through isn't really a viable option. It's a tough combination of conditions. I'm still waiting for an assessment (UK NHS) so am technically undiagnosed but I know I have ADHD. It's good you found out whilst still relatively young, but you still had years of not knowing and self criticism that could have been helped if you'd known sooner. Best wishes 💗

[@nabilakhademi7619]

Omg same!!!!!!!!! Diagnosed at 30 yesterday! And I am exactly like you describe yourself

[@karlarivera4410]

I already know I have ADHD and hearing this today is my wake up call. The part about going to the library distracted. I earned a masters and it took my entire energy every day to do assignments and write papers. I never realized it until I did my internship. Thank you for your work to help women.

[@cblazgoogle3844]

I liked studying at the library during college.. it was the QUIETEST place in campus.. until the elevators open/closed, groups of ppl started talking etc😵‍💫😵‍💫 .. I didn’t figure out until years later( when I went back for my MBA).. that I had TO WEAR EARPLUGS.. to block all the distractions out.. I guess some ppl can listen to music .. I can ONLY listen to very monotone classical music(no singing).. to block out distractions 😳

[@PGCAJIGAL]

I am 73 and I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. I am struggling. My life would have been so much better if I would have known. Made better decisions.

[@monicamoore5470]

I’m 73 and diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression. Yet, Mel’s description of ADHD seems to fit real well. Thank you, Mel. I’m going to work with my medical team to see what else I can do. I have already been told the medication is probably not an option due to other medical issues.

[@jackmagdiel1750]

I'm 83 years old and learning so much about who I am and who I was. Life is such an adventure.

[@susanbenedict5767]

When were you? I’m 78 and I know I’ve had ADHD all my life. Mom used to say “teachers would say that if I applied myself …” All the symptoms fit! Do you take medication? I’d love to hear that it’s never too late.

[@MissNikkiDawson]

Got gaslighted by an older, male psychiatrist when I was supposed to be getting assessed for adhd and autism. Instead, he gave me a generic anxiety and depression assessment and told me my anxiety is just very extreme and that is causing all my issues. This video is very validating. Im currently seeking a female psychiatrist who specializes in adhd and autism in BC, Canada.

[@bryanreynolds4243]

Those are both possible co-morbid DX. I guess the challenge to the professional is to figure out which to treat first. Does not excuse the non-acknowledgement by the psych. I am a late DX'd male with the inattentive presentation. Look at some of the videos from Russell Barkley PhD., Dr. Tracey Marks, & How To ADHD.

[@aliago6945]

As i understand from yt videos of already diagnosed people (scientists and doctors usually talk a bit different more useless stuff in my opinion), you have to look for somebody who is specifically in a niche of adhd and/or asd, cause other may really not see the forest behind the trees. And yes, ADHD almost never comes alone, it usually is surrounded by bouquet of other things, it's just they are not it. So try to look for someone in the actual field of ADHD, especially that, i suppose, you might have lots of opportunities for that in Canada. (only after writing the whole thing, i saw that you already wrote about the niche thing yourself, haha) I got to a woman psychiatrist not that long ago in other country (here mental health sucks), and she sent me to a psychologist for testing, and overall they diagnosed me with just anxiety-depression disorder, too. And the psychologist actually called me hypochondriac, like i make things up (for real, never thought i'd meet such unprofessionalism). Only symbolically suggesting that it might not be his niche. But still also freaking saying that "well, i believe, if you'll need, eventually you'll find some doctor to GIVE this diagnose to you, but i think you don't have it". GIVE! Like some candy that i need. I mean... before you go to other specialist - prepare notes and proofs, examples of why you think you have ADHD/ASD, and afterwards if they will still tell you you don't - ok, but make them prove it, explain clearly why those things are ONLY anxiety and not more. Also you may start from actual ASD, cause they say that a lot of people with that have ADHD too, so it might be more easy/useful to start from there. Good luck with your journey))

[@zarifahadi]

Same, I have to find other doctor to diagnose me. I had to lie to them that I don't have anxiety just to get the doctor to focus on my adhd symptoms instead 😩

[@rasberryfields2132]

Bless you! Wish I were there!

[@jinx.h.]

I cry because I went through the same. I got diagnosed with dyslexia age 15, burnout age 23 and generic anxiety and hormonal depression with 28. No freaking therapist got it right until a girl friend of mine who is kids psych that I talked to said "but you know you have ADHD don't you?" and my head just exploded - this was 2 yrs ago. She told me many things mentioned in this video. Actually after giving birth to my son my ADHD got worse and I do struggle. But now I am so much in love with myself and understanding that its not me being a total mess but my brain working a little different.

[@rosemaryrosemaryw8117]

I’m 87 yrs and I always felt like an outsider - I struggled in school but never let anyone know so I just slipped thru the cracks. I was constantly distracted but would try to make myself just do it!! Thanks for you pod cast I will speak to my doctor.

[@letty5515]

Go for it. Glad you're proactive. God bless. Try going to an integrative doctor, alternative doctor and nutritionist so instead of meds, you're given the option of giving your body missing nutrients. Lack on certain nutrition and replacing them, makes a big difference. God bless and take care.

[@sheilam.1472]

Good for you! Please ask your doctor about this. I read an honest article about many women undiagnosed adhd in late life becoming forgetful. They can be diagnosed with dementia and the medication for that makes the adhd way worse. Hope you find what you need. Hugs S.

[@ritcha02]

You deserve answers. Good luck.

[@wa13601]

My heart reaches out to you, Rosemary! Those of us born before 1970 missed the benefit of better insight on learning disabilities or improved teaching methods. OR parents who could think outside of the box and try to find ways to improve a situation for a child. My sister, born in '52, had a terrible childhood due to 2 learning disabilities that led to low self-esteem and 50+ years of trauma and sadness. She did at least stop the drugs and booze in her mid-40's, but still had a tough emotional life of low self-esteem through her elder years... Only a few years ago did she start feeling happier. I hope your own happiness will grow larger every day! Blessings to you, Rosemary!

[@helenwarren5217]

I'm 78 and never diagnosed. but strugglesd d

[@stevieraec]

Diagnosed as a child, then re-diagnosed at 30. Medication changed my life. I've never heard inner silence like that before. I'm still a work in progress, but aren't we all?

[@julianarotolopedriali7736]

My 7 year old daughter got diagnosed with ADD. Therefore my psychiatrist suspicion for my own diagnosis was confirmed. I never tought about the extended impact of ADHD in a girls life. Ive been treating depression and anxiety since my 20s (now in my late 30s), i belive much of my pain could have been avoided. Thank you so much for this video.

[@MARIESVI]

I’m 62 and recently diagnosed. Hug you all!! Everything is gonna be better!!! Nothing is wrong with us! 🥰🥰🥰

[@dorothywillms115]

Oh sure that’s another modern theory. ITS HELL. I guess you don’t believe in “labels” either which basically is a diagnosis. Sure your likely an artist but creativity does earn you a living unless your a genius. But go ahead and say there’s nothing wrong with you. Lying to yourself won’t help.

[@binathere2574]

@@dorothywillms115 neither will being bitter and resentful.

[@aliciahodson8668]

​@@dorothywillms115iipp

[@ebonyapplepy3906]

It saddens me to think about all the undiagnosed ppl, especially females who committed s-word thinking they were damaged goods when all they had was ADHD.

[@hollyjordan2146]

just went in to get assessed for this myself, turning 60 this year and tired of working so dang hard to do everything wow im crying getting off the phone with drs that are trying to help me my Gosh I had no idea before this podcast!! sheesh

[@spiralflash6169]

I’m sixty-nine years old and was diagnosed at 45 after a lifetime of anxiety, poor self esteem, chronic tardiness, disorganization, etc etc. I managed to get a doctorate at age 34, but gave up on a social life, a husband, and kids, because I knew I couldn’t handle it all. I didn’t know why except that there was something wrong with me. Even though I was intelligent, I couldn’t function like a normal person, so I spent my life hating myself.

[@martasplace6414]

I self diagnosed ADHD at 55 and I wish I would have been treated much earlier in life because not only did I have an abusive mom, sister, brother, step father, I self medicated with alcohol, drugs, sex, relationships....I have been married 3 times and Thank God 10 yrs ago I finally looked within and did a bunch of counseling and 3 yrs ago came across someone talking about ADHD and thought OMG that's me!!! I went to see a specialist and sure enough was diagnosed! I actually cried, because I finally found the reason behind my actions! The bad thing is, since I abused drugs they didn't want to start me out on stimulants, so I had to bounce from one drug to another but did end up going on a stimulant called Vyvanse which has helped me a lot, I'm on the lowest dose because I choose to be because I still do not trust my addiction side. I hope that all of you that have any type of disorder find help, because it can make a huge difference!! ❤️ to all of you!

[@rosalindarcher6060]

Hi there, I’m so pleased for you finally to have found the answer. I’m 55 and go for my full assessment shortly. Despite sounding pitch perfect female ADHD (inattentive) I’m scared that I won’t be diagnosed because there’s one box I won’t tick on somebodies checklist and that I’ll just be left necking more antidepressants and not being able to ‘solve’ whatever the flick is wrong with me! I just thought I’d mention that I was recently watching another video and they mentioned a stimulant drug that was metabolised differently, in the liver I believe and that was less risky for anyone with addictions. It very well might be what you’re already on but might be worth checking or asking about. If I’ve learnt anything in 55 years it’s not to expect the experts to always know or do the sensible thing. (A bit like the doctor who could see Mel was ADHD but didn’t think to mention it to her. He didn’t have to diagnose her, just suggest she might go for an assessment….). Good luck with your journey.

[@melaninathan]

As a person with undiagnosed ADHD, your book made me feel the worst I have ever felt about myself. Now I know that it was never meant to help people like me.

[@clairevenden5617]

I actually cried listening to this Mel. I found out 6 months ago at the age of 48 and the grief of a lost past, is so overwhelming. I believed i had chronic anxiety and depression and was put on anti depressants at a young age, it wasnt, it was undiagnosed adhd. My life passed me by and im trying so hard no to not put myself through a battle now of what ifs!!

[@dominiquegray3494]

That's me... beating myself up, knowing that I could have been someone great...helping others in the medical field. I got my college degree at 49 after pursuing it for many years. I accomplished it...and did nothing with it. I'm 61 now and trying to accept myself, and just enjoy the rest of my life. It is what it is.

[@johnboy6594]

❤

[@AngelaSeedorff]

We have so much shame because we thought something was wrong with us. Now that you know it's not you, mourn the loss of life not going the way we would have wanted, focus on forgiving yourself and embracing yourself as you are (You are amazing!). When you love yourself despite your flaws, you will change your life and how you show up ❤ Since I have done all of these things, I have become a life coach (own my own business) and am making changes I never thought would be possible at 48 years old. It's never too late to make a change(s) and love your life ❤ I'm proof. I was that girl daydreaming in kindergarten, forgetting homework and other important tasks/events, diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and shaming myself for 45 years. I no longer believe in the lies I told myself for years. Don't give up, ladies! It's never too late to love your life! I promise you! 💜🔥💜

[@dmitrijl2407]

I just found it yesterday, at my 43. Absolutely same feelings here, totally overwhelmed. If I knew earlier...Still what a relief to know what's going on at last! Let's work out how to repair the repairable and accept the rest.

[@dmitrijl2407]

@@AngelaSeedorff Hey, what about the daydreaming men?)) Guess we are all in the same boat. Bless you!

[@morijatov2475]

I cried watching this episode! I finally understood my depression and feeling of not being enough with everything I did.

[@anicyb]

Same!

[@lisablinn3264]

The more I learn about ADHD, the more I am beginng to think millions of people were misdiagnosed with depression and should have been tested for ADHD. I am beginning to think that depression is a symptom of ADHD and not the root cause for what is going on in our heads. I cried too. For a split second I felt relief that I had a name for how my brain worked and then I cried for all the times I felt stupid and bad about myself and all the opportunities that I missed out on. I cried for how much easier my life and my husband's life would have been if I would have been diagnosed earlier. I spoke to my ADHD counsellor about it and her response was "Yes, if you were a kid today, teachers would recognize it and you would be diagnosed and get help asap. But when you were a kid, those resources were not available". I didn't feel that was a helpful response, telling someone it is, what it is, is just not helpful. Please know that you are not alone in all of this. Many people are right there with you.

[@harmonygibbs7904]

me too.

[@victoriamyatt1709]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers (autism spectrum disorder) in early 40s (50 next year) and it explained so much. As time has gone on there is still an unknown factor of something I don't understand, one more puzzle piece. That puzzle piece is Adhd and now just about everything makes sence, the ASD explained most stuff but not every thing. Its a relief as I always feel so horrible and selfish when I'm unable to send a birthday card or gift on time, or be on time even though I stress so much about being late, its just hard to achieve. Thanks so much for this as it has been an eye opener (sad but happy) and explains so much.

[@carrut]

Me too

[@user-ct5sx7ic4z]

Thank you so much for this - I'm a 32 year old woman and I ticked so many of those boxes and have recently started researching the symptoms of ADHD after seeing another woman on Instagram who has ADHD diagnosis, watching her videos and thinking oh my god, this is me. - I have been diagnosed for about 2 years with GAD - generalised anxiety and depressive disorder and am on medication for this currently (which took multiple appts to get), which has helped but now that my anxiety is under control, I am noticing that other symptoms have really come to the surface - similar to which you have described above - unable to focus or concentrate on tasks, over and under stimulated, constantly find distraction when I know that I need to get important things done on a time limit and yet I still procrastinate, despite really caring about the task I need to do and the result / very disorganised, day dream and very hard on myself all the time. Have always struggled with time management - will get an appointment time and say to myself, "right, it takes 30 mins to drive there so i need to leave at blah blah time" and then STILL end up rushing and leaving late in a mad rush. Feeling constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, chronic stress and daily tasks feel HUGE often that I dont complete anything because I cant think what to do first. I have already made an appointment to speak to my GP to insist I am tested . THank you thank you thank you Mel! xxx

[@wandringjoule4x]

Wow, awesome description! It's a total description of a lot of my symptoms. Both of us need to get diagnosed because we seem like poster children for this disorder. I wish you all the best!

[@jenem1117]

Hi. I am 35. Was diagnosed with GAD years ago and took medication for 5 years..got diagnosed with ADHD and stopped taking my anxiety medication and started taking medication for ADHD. BEST DECISION IVE EVER MADE. ❤

[@lisacarlson7196]

I learned about this after sitting at a table in tears with my 2nd grader over homework....2nd grade. She was in the California school system and had the worst case scenario for her..a shared teaching situation where she had 2 teachers that each worked 2 days of the week and traded off Wednesdays. She was doing well with one and getting little sad faces sent home with her daily from the other. She was as a small child being told daily that she was a "bad girl" and being told to bring home a sad face and give it to me. Imagine what that was doing to her little brain. The principal I met with...literally.no help at all. Thank God for her 3rd grade teacher..who just happened to be the teacher in her new school that had been sent to learn about add and adhd and recognized it within 2 weeks of having her in class. Yes I also have it..but after trying to get diagnosed I was told no you concentrate just fine...after doing nothing but sitting me in front of a machine similar to the vision test at the dmv..where you push a button when you see the light flash. My whole life has been exactly what you are talking about...

[@mica2885]

Very important also for women to know, menopause can make ADHD worse! That is when I was finally diagnosed although the signs were totally there all my life!

[@christinewittmann1806]

Yes, peri-menopause has exacerbated my adhd terribly

[@liandajane3207]

I'm going through this atm I'm 39 my sons recently diagnosed with asd i've been in such a spiral of anxiety and depression (which ive always had but never to this level) I've been getting hot flushes too which are brushed off as the anxiety but I've been reflecting and questioning so many things lately..

[@vpmassacre4771]

Wowsers, sounds like what happened to me...

[@SarahMittinger]

Our bodies are fascinating it's hard to see the bigger picture if doctors are telling conditional things eg ritalin concerta but for the anxiety some downers at the same time seek natural options all the while are you hot cold healthy unhealthy??!!! Too many things contradicting especially if you have brain uncertainty all the girls/ladies that just got put on sooo many antidepressants etc made to zombies without any thoughts of their future self harm dissociation of the body wrecking beautiful minds horrible overlooking potential

[@SarahMittinger]

Psychosomatic things ailments also flair up with lady years ❤

[@patriciaberger5279]

The problem with going to your primary doctor is that you may be met with resistance! I’m a 71 year old undiagnosed ADHD person who has gone to about 8 different doctors who said I was crazy for wanting to be tested! Too tired to continue looking! I just drink my potful of coffee each morning and make my check off lists to get through my life!! I’m happy for you Mel that you were able to find someone to listen to you! My son was diagnosed by a pediatric psychologist 37 years ago. That therapist told me that I had it and was using my coffee as my Ritalin. No one wanted to test me because back then adult therapist wouldn’t be paid for the services!

[@HeatherLandex]

Self diagnosis & coffee is completely valid. Sorry you've had such awful experiences. It took complete burnout for me to get diagnosed so well done for holding out despite being less to manage on your own.

[@sherilgreen7495]

I was 85 when I discovered that I have ADHD. Whenever I mentioned it to my primary care doctor I got a dementia test. At least they decided that I do not dementia. They don't think l have ADHD but some kind of anxiety. Anti anxiety medication turned me into a zombie. Am not on medication but am addicted to working jigsaws and playing solitaire on my phone. Have no patience for things I'm not interested in and have been scatter brained all my life.

[@alicepirola7077]

I hear you 😢

[@marlathompson8137]

Wow, Iam a 70yr old women. Mel, I just found you on KZbin. I subscribed and am looking forward to hear you talk about this suject. I had, a mild breakdown several years ago. Went to see a psychologist was told by him I have ADHD. Shocked to learn at my then age adults have this. He put me on a med, which was not ritland. Can't remember the name, but for the 1st time in my life I was able to focus. But I had side affects, terrible headaches. So I quit them. Never went back to that Dr nor saw anybody else to get more tests or some other kind of meds. Any ways, I am seeing a Behavioral counselor and a Dr who hopefully can get me on a course of the combination of meds, long story, and therapy. I feel that I need a MRI of my head and a Dr who can properly diagnose me. I need help, what kind of Dr should I go to to be diagnosed so I can get the help I've felt I've needed most of my life. Marlamae

[@holliev492]

Sorry forbyour experience Patricia. So far woth my experience a diagnosis isn't doing me much good anyway. They're trying to medicate, but I'm not having the ah ha moment that many describe, and the sife affects keep moving me to different meds. (Trying Vyvanse now) Watch the allies of the field and do your own research for methods and skills that help you. As adults the treatment and teaching that happens for kids is not there, so to me it feels like a journey of self discovery of what works with the help of the internet more so then therapists. Good luck!

[@samanthamartin344]

I was about 40 years old. I was a banker w lots of doctors as clients. One day a retired pediatrician was in my messy office as I struggled to find her file. I jokingly said “ oh it’s my ADHD acting up again”. She said “you know you have ADHD don’t you?” I said no I was just joking. She said “ you most definitely have it “. It took several more years to be diagnosed. This was about 20 years ago. However it wasn’t until this week when I started bingeing you tube videos that I can see how it affects every single one of my actions. To everyone out there struggling- you are not a loser and you you are not alone ❤️

[@katpollock-vr9ph]

OMG I will be 70, and wandered what was wrong with me, my son was diagnosed, I was told only boys have, thank you so much, my eyes are opened

[@MissOakland510]

I was diagnosed a few months ago at age 55. I am struggling with forgiving myself for all of my “failures” in life. Thank you very much for this video.

[@desireemoore3809]

@@lifewithmelaniebthat’s exactly how I feel. Like a loser compared to a very successful brother. I am sure 3 of my 4 children feel this way about their older sibling (female) who has HER head on straight and they are scattered - like me. Thank you for this information it is me 100%……. I’m overwhelmed 😂and grateful for this information I MENTALLY don’t know what to do next. My issue for 50 years now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I just want to finish/ accomplish SOMETHING in my life😭

[@thatssodaisy3276]

Literally my story!

[@VictoriaEPines]

@@desireemoore3809Talk to a doctor if you’re able to. I’m 55 and currently take Adderall and Hydroxyzine. I used to be on Wellbutrin and Zoloft and still didn’t finish my Master’s degree with only 2 courses left smh.

[@AngelaSeedorff]

@desireemoore3809 I thought that I was the loser of my family next to my very successful brother as long as I can remember but never said it out loud. I always thought something was wrong with me. Until I did alot of work around self-judgement and accepting myself. Still, hearing someone else say the thing I have thought secretly for years makes me feel less alone and more understood. Thank you 💜

[@split_jcgg9613]

You and me both

[@magicpainthorse]

I am 75 years old and after watching this, am in tears over how different my messed up life would have been. Every single word you said describes me to a T. Thank you so much!

[@ranelson714]

It's overwhelming to have this realization that this has been your 'problem' your whole life. How much different our lives could have been.

[@apteryx7080]

I'm 52 and feel the same way.. described me to a T !

[@KScootz26]

Ditto.

[@lyladwyer6348]

OMG. I’ve suspected I have ADHD for two years since my oldest daughter was diagnosed. This is the most valuable resource I’ve come across so far for someone to explain to me what ADHD even is… because the ADHD center she was diagnosed at didn’t do that for us or tell us what to do to cope other than exercise, listen to classical music while doing homework and take meds. Every single symptom you’re listing is me… and I’m at the point in my life where it’s just grinding me down. It definitely started affecting my daughter’s self esteem and it has also affected mine.I haven’t really known how to help my daughter because it’s been like the blind leading the blind. This gives me some hope and something I can actually work with. I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much 🙏

[@Frankie22503]

Hi, there are also connections with ADHD and the gut microbiome . Also maybe the book, dirty genes . Higher dose vitamin B can also be helpful for some.. Suggestion to look into MTHFR gene mutation , which makes it difficult for the body to absorb B vitamins. Sugar is also detrimental to brain function and inflammation. I hope you find all of the information that you need and have hope that life can be more manageable. Blessings.

[@An_Smiley]

I am a female doctor with ADHD. I've had trouble focusing since I was a child. When I'm sitting there, my attention gets drawn to anything around me, and when I study, I can't focus for more than three minutes. I've always felt out of place. But I want to become a doctor. When I was preparing for the USMLE, while most people completed their Qbank in six months or a few months, it took me three years. I couldn't focus, and after finishing one question, I wanted to do something else, like cleaning, watching TV, or listening to music. I simply couldn't concentrate. My mother always said that I never stuck to one thing, couldn't focus, and attributed all of this to my laziness. When I entered medical school and interned in the psychiatric department, my supervising doctor told me I had ADHD. I'm still working hard to improve myself now.

[@auriansophia1993]

All the best...sometimes you have to literally plot your way around potential pitfalls.

[@migue5955]

You described me with the office job. The feeling I have from working behind a desk was like doing time in jail. I currently work outside and love it

[@kariolar3158]

Same! I can't sit at a desk for longer than an hour.

[@setandfree]

Ohhhh WOW! I am not alone. I need a active career move.. 🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@susanvillarini7763]

No way I could have a desk job..... How can someone sit all. day

[@NSW-ye3xw]

I have a desk job so I can relate. My conclusion is being sat at a desk all day and not moving is not natural. We weren’t designed to sit all day. Secondly, it is highly possible that desk jobs are just fucking boring and have nothing to do with ADHD. I do my job because it pays well. Nothing else.

[@coraclampitt4110]

I went to law school and graduated at 50. Found out about ADHD when had trouble passing bar. Did pass and became a criminal defense attorney also. Am of course still dealing with this crap. You're right about the lost generation. Thank you for this podcast. Be kinder to yourself. You are so worthy of being loved by you.

[@laurieberry162]

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, but I think it should be ADHD instead. It’s just that when I was younger, schizophrenia was a hyper trigger diagnosis. I have written two books. I am on page 149 on my third. I am tired of hearing my friends tell me how smart they are. I don’t think it’s wise. Maybe I should say that I don’t want to be your friend anymore because you have sharing problems with how smart you are. I simply don’t want to hear it. With my thirty years of working, there is no reason for jealousy. It’s just that there are lots of insensitive people around who don’t care about other people’s feelings.

[@annemccarron2281]

Good for you for accomplishing so much later in life, with ADHD no less!

[@VictoriaEPines]

Congratulations on passing the Bar. That’s no easy feat for anyone especially for someone dealing with ADD/ADHD. So, kudos to you!!

[@marysmith4811]

How are you a lawyer with ADHD? I got terrible grades in school, but I did not feel dumb. Sometimes I felt smarter than others. Just not academically, or when being taught/instructed with something.

[@amandachrist387]

Congratulations

[@caII4fight]

53 years old. Diagnosed this year... I don't have time to lose anymore. It took me 4 weeks crying. Enough. I made an option: stay in anger (for a while) or move on. 💃

[@nomoreillusions]

I didn't think there was something wrong with me because I saw other kids doing it differently/better, I thought there was something wrong with me because all the adults told me there was in a thousand ways. They told me other kids were doing it better and the problem was me.

[@gaylebodine7083]

Hi Mel, I was diagnosed at age 70. I went to see a psychiatrist after I read Delivered from Distraction. OMG, suddenly my whole life made sense.

[@wendyhannan2454]

I so relate to your comment, it’s my story as well. So good to know we don’t stand alone. 😊

[@marilynbuschle2842]

Thank you. I was 55 years old when I was diagnosed with ADHD. like you, I suffered😮 self-esteem, self-loathing, depression, and anxiety for many years.

[@billi-jocolaris526]

I just turned 50 and diagnosed .

[@daniellamoreno3616]

Must be tough…

[@thomasbarchen]

I am 58 and just realizing that I have ADHD and now a lot of things about my life make sense.

[@Livingston9023]

54 currently... 53 when my 20 year old son peeped it!!! PURPLE 💜 GIRL

[@alexispincock7409]

I’m 27 and just got properly diagnosed with ADHD, but I have known for about 3 years. When I started this journey it answered all the questions I’d had for my entire life, it answered the why to my struggles. I found out years ago that my mom had been advised by my kindergarten teacher to get me looked at because she thought I could have ADHD, but my mom never did. And I feel the same way, that my life would be a lot more different if I’d been diagnosed earlier. I do believe I have become the advocate and voice box for these issues with my family though, because I believe at least 2 of my younger siblings also have adhd. My parents aren’t bad people, they just grew up in a different mindset and we’ve worked together and fought each other for the past 4 or 5 years to gain this knowledge, it took time for them to see, but I’m just grateful we can have conversations now and work on healing together.

[@christines26]

Thanks Mel, I am 54 years old and never been diagnosed but I know I have it. Did poor in school, could never focus I just thought I was dumb. But yet I am a business owner and can focus on going after what I want for the most part. The down fall is I don’t let myself relax I go go go and have to keep myself busy or I am not happy. I get very frustrated with myself all the time if I am not super women!

[@Lionforaday]

@ᴍᴇʟ ʀᴏʙʙɪɴs What is this?

[@positiveaz1]

Me too Christine- After 6pm I am not liking life. I don't know what to do? I try and watch TV with my husband and we can never find anything to help me stop my brain. I ask myself why can't I just be happy not doing:)

[@georgiaanderson7025]

Same here... successful business owner... now retired (51)... I'm really struggling and drinking way to much.... this is my wake up call 🤙

[@lindastall4461]

Hi Mel, I'm 71 and never been diagnosed but have known for a long time that this is what I've has. Life has been a roller-coaster! Not easy at all, ever but I somehow figured out how to get things done. I have worked in the social field for about 40 years, battered women, the elderly, the sick and dying, the handicapped, teaching yoga (also teaching yoga in a men's prison), and the last 15 years in a shelter for teenagers. I've always tried to help people find their full potential but never found their own.

[@ForEverKath]

Got diagnosed at 52. My whole life was a f*cking struggle! And now I know why. So, re-building a life at 53 years old is hard, and exciting!

[@lirst79lo]

Wow this just explained my whole life. It explains my chronic lack of ability to concentrate and how noise causes me physical discomfort and pain. Because I can’t turn it down. 45 year old women. Long term anxiety depression even though I’m not a depressive person 🧍 im usually positive optimistic . Every alarm bell has been screaming since I realised I’m undiagnosed adhd last year I went to my doctor he told me I was before I finished my sentence. Every aspect of my life makes sense. Not been able to focus feeling like I don’t have my shit together deadlines never met! Losing things clutter hoarding shopping addiction shoplifting for the high! Drugs drink now a reformed yogi. I have all six signs but chronic noise sensitivity I couldn’t explain and the conductor now makes sense if I can hear something while I’m talking my brain tunes into that and I lose the thread of what I’m saying and look like a bloody idiot this was the best description of what is happening inside the brain. I had to leave places if it’s too noisy I’m also awaiting my test and perimenopausal which is scrambling and crying my brain. Mel we need a book 📕 thank you for the insight it’s helped me so much ❤ love you Xx

[@little.tricks]

This is me. Recently diagnosed at 31. My brain won't shut the hell up, constant thoughts about everything and anything. Like flipping through TV channels and hearing random bursts of noise, music or static. Made sleeping without sleeping pills impossible.

[@darlingtonegeonu1110]

Psychedelics containing mushrooms definitely have potential to deal with health issues like anxiety and depression, ADHD and some other health issues.

[@FernandoSalinas-eq9oy]

Psilocybin containing mushroom saved my life. Never had a bad trip

[@laurj09]

I've been looking to try shrooms, anyone knows where can I acquire some?

[@FranciscaPargo]

Yes,I'm very sure of Dr.benshroomxs

[@FredaMartins]

How can i find him? Is he on instgram

[@abelardsebastian6466]

Asides the health benefit, the trips are awesome

[@jeffreybrinker5367]

I'm not officially diagnosed ADHD but my psychiatrist suspects I am. I've always struggled from hormonal migraines and even with my medicine, it's hard for me to focus at work if I start getting blind spots and the dull ache is still there. I always feel terrible because when I have a flare up, I have to leave work early, and I start to feel like I'm slacking and get anxious that I'II lose my job.

[@teddcraycraft5297]

I have both adhd and autism, I feel like I'm going through hell most of the time.

[@vanettareimerstl8248]

I'm wondering if your Psych has suggested trying the CBD oil, I have had great success using the full spectrum cbd for a few months now and it's amazing, my daughter is using the cbd gummies works well for us.

[@wilsonjennings323]

@@vanettareimerstl8248 Autism is often marked by co occurring ADHD. Got my ADHD diagnosis at 29 and at 31 1 notice the autism, lots of pills with side effects,hospitals etc..still didn't get the help i need no matter how hard i try , it’s very frustrating. I live in UK ,anyway you could help on how to get a cbd around or an online store ?

[@vanettareimerstl8248]

@@wilsonjennings323 Look up albovegateway

[@vanettareimerstl8248]

....On Instagram, I get mine from them, it's very inspirational that you have been strong and have been pushing through. I'm Sending lots of love positive energy.

[@cafekombucha1078]

This is upsetting me so much. I’m an undiagnosed 55 yr old and this was and still is my life. I’ve been waiting nearly 2 years for diagnosis thus far

[@tammyb8447]

My doctor said they do not like to treat Adult ADHD. I was never treated as a child but struggled and was labeled slow, and careless 😮.

[@lindaautry]

Thank you for bringing this full circle. I’ve always sworn I was ADHD/OCD but I’ve never discussed with a physician and would you believe I’ve worked in hospitals for 30 years. I have all 6 on the list. I also have one other that wasn’t mentioned and that is that I talk non stop. I just learnt that from a Doctor on KZbin. I’ve been telling myself to see a doctor because the older I get the worse I get. I’m at my worst with overspending, disorganization, anxiety, depression blah blah. I talk down to myself constantly annoying my family and friends. I tell myself to SHUT UP but my brain won’t shut down. One great thing is I am very creative but then I’m still never good enough. So THANK YOU … I’m making an appointment because I’m 65 and I’d like to REST in a more normal state of mind for the days I have left on planet earth.

[@JerzTruely]

Omg..this is me

[@virginiadavidson7862]

​@@DAVEMYZTIKAL Of course she talks to herself! 😂 That's how she knows what she's thinking! Also, she does need good advice sometimes. At least, those are things I've told *my*self. 😮

[@annefreeman8732]

I definitely recognise myself in a big way i want sooo much to get help .im 68 and still going worse i know i MUSTdo this for myself with your brilliant help Mel you are so good for doing your podcasts free for people like myself im a carer for my daughter so im on a restricted budget....so a big THANK YOU Mel you light up the way forward every day for me.😁

[@lyndithompson9562]

​

[@celeste2329]

21 and found out I have inattentive adhd. late everywhere, can’t follow through with anything, daydream for hours, dropped my college classes 3 semesters in a row, switch to a new job every month. began to feel like a complete disappointment. this is so helpful and I can finally make changes in my life. thanks so much Ms. Robbins!! 💕

[@brigittewalden9226]

My husband just got diagnosed with Inattentive ADD last week. He's 58😢. So sad for him that it came so late. I am so happy for you to now know about this.

[@dig1272]

Hugs to you Celeste!!! I'm 57 and just now starting to realize I must have this or some form of it.

[@loriomyoreo8224]

I have and am learning little tricks to overcome my ADHD issues after a lifetime of struggles. I went back to college after dropping out 30 years ago and graduated with honors! Ride the wave, baby! Big believer in CBT. Changed my now 62 year old life!

[@loriomyoreo8224]

Now, I know!

[@jaylee-simplebusinesssimpl5273]

Same

[@lindabryson6629]

Diagnosed at 67. Suspected years before, and just laughed about it. Had a meltdown. Saw a psychologist who did 3 days of testing. I cried. But was also relieved. It made my life make sense. Hindsight is 20/20.

[@candaceg5591]

Got my diagnoses today ! Combined adhd with complex ptsd… . I remember when I was 12 years old my dad took me to a counselor because I had anxiety with panic attacks … I now know this is when my adhd began. They just said she is depressed and doesn’t deal with change. 57 years old and I begin meds tomorrow. Thank you! This episode I have watched more than twice ❤

[@Nancy-ki6ky]

Candace I have severe depression and PTSD but I believe I have ADHD and I don't know what to do

[@candaceg5591]

@@Nancy-ki6ky it took me two years for someone to listen to me ! I put myself in counseling during that time my mother passed away tragically … I finally told the therapist please find me someone to test me … I found a nurse practitioner that specializes in adhd especially in woman … she had adhd and her 60 s … I just had to keep pushing and looking for the right person to talk to and understand what I was feeling … I didn’t want meds as a quick fix I wanted someone to listen and explain my racing thoughts and short attention span… sadly we have to advocate for our own mental health !!!! Prayers you find your answers soon … but never give up!!! I research everyday !

[@ellenjordan7525]

Thank you! I am crying again. My ADHD has brought me so much pain, mostly from people misunderstanding me and shaming me. You are perfectly describing my journey. I am 73. For 15 years of my life, I was so aided by ritalin in raising my children alone, and looking like a good valuable employee. I have been shamed off of the ritalin in my later years, and I am so suffering from Adhd again. You have given me the courage to again try to get this stigmatized help. I love you

[@lisat9707]

Whoever shamed you off what made you successful are people you should shame back by the turnaround going back on your meds will do for you. Dont tell them at first😅. Have fun letting them admire the changes and then blast them with the reason.

[@veritas1177]

People who 'shame' probably do not deserve to know which way your going. And have proved they dint understand. It's your mind, body and your choices, for you. Let them admire or shame, from more of a distance. And, frankly, when it comes to medicine, who in our life should be privy or privileged enough to know about that, except mostly our doctor. And if it is a doctor, well, they did not understand this patient and what was required for their treatment. People 'outside' of you/ourselves always have an opinion or thoughts and some very well meaning. But at the end of the day, you are in charge and taking care of you. You're plan and thoughts always trump.

[@jessicafoster3142]

@ellenjordan7525 something I'm growing from in my ADHD is releasing the people pleasing and it's so freeing. You're going to offend people regardless what choices you make (especially in today's culture) so you might as well just be you and choose what you know is best for yourself. I believe in you and am rooting for you ❤

[@pamelaolger9663]

God Bless..

[@TheLabworks]

I have literally cried watching this video! I am a 43 y/o male, and I’ve never been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. However, I have struggled with severe anxiety & depression issues, not realizing I might be ADHD after all. For some reason, however, I seem to somehow present my symptoms more in the way that you explain females present symptoms…. Is that even normal?? Anyways, this video has been so revealing to me, and completely relate to how you explain looking back and realizing that so much of your life has been wasted due to not understanding what was wrong w me…. I will be seeking professional help to finally get a proper doctor opinion. Again, thank you!!

[@RIGTHEGIANT]

same, 40 years old and I sat through this and realized that the symptoms she described as "girl" are what I deal/dealt with as a man. I made an appointment yesterday with a psych and right now I'm researching a bit and came across this video after talking to my therapist about possibly seeking medicinal help.

[@NarniaHarvey]

There are different subtypes of ADHD, and it just depends on which one you have as to how it presents. There's Inattentive, Hyperactive/Impulsive, or Combined (a combination of the two). ❤️

[@rebekahjoy7921]

I am sitting here bawling over this. I have the same exact story as you Mel. I’m a 39 yr single mother to an 8 yr old boy. My son has struggled the same ways your son did. This past year his dad and I have exhausted ourselves with testings/different medications etc. But one thing is clear and that is my son has diagnosed ADHD. The past few months I have been really thinking about myself and my whole chaotic life up til this point and wondering if I have been misdiagnosed my entire life with depression and anxiety. I haven’t had an official adhd diagnosis but my God, I relate to EVERYTHING I’m researching! All the hormonal chaos every single month, the severe post pardum “depression” I had. Mood wings, can’t keep friends, social issues, forgetfulness, constant ups and downs etc, irresponsible behavior, reckless behavior like no other etc. I just know it in my gut that I passed on ADHD to my son and I am now finding this out the same way you did!! I have an appt with a specialized adhd dr next week. I feel a light at the end of the tunnel finally. Depression meds never worked for me! Thank you for sharing this, because it is helping others like me. I feel liberated right now.

[@naakoshiemills877]

55yo and was just diagnosed last month. The diagnosis is taking me OUT. Doing my best to not live in regret of what more, i could have done in my life. I feel like I've been trudging through chest high mud, my whe life, while everyone else has been skipping happily by me without a care in the works. Couldn't understand why i could never accomplish my best, and everyone is telling me that i am the smartest person they know. And, these medications the doctor prescribes are horrible.

[@dianebrockett206]

You are talking about me … clutter ,dates, appointments , being late… feeling anxiety , depression … all of that. Your experience is empowering and so vulnerable . Bless you

[@bettybutler1686]

I’m 75 years old and 4 of my 9 kids suffered with all this. Me too. Just can’t write this down. Spouse is 80 old and is just this year being diagnosed with ADHD.! He had dyslexia and I spent 8 years putting him thru school. What a struggle,!!!

[@nj_1970]

I am 54 and got diagnosed 2 days ago and took first dose of medication. I had 6 kids and everyone including drs told me that was why i was over whelmed and mentally tired. I knew it was more. I felt crazy half my life. Kept saying i was always overwhelmed and my coping mechanism didnt work. They put me on anxiety meds and i felt that i didnt have an anxiety disorder. It was a fluke that i was visiting a friend and she gave me one adderall to take and i literally felt the light switch turn on my brain. It felt amazing. Like the cloud was gone. I then made an appt. To get diagnosed and felt like a weight has been lifted.

[@Midnightmagic_]

Glad to hear this. PROFOUNDLY underdiagnosed. A doc did a study in Colorado at a women's prison and found that if they treated them for ADHD, repeat offenders then stayed out of prison, were able to hold consistent jobs, and dumped bad partners. When they were "rehabilitated" for their crimes, they kept coming back and ending up in the same (usually abusive & on/off) unhealthy relationships. Apparently one of the major contributing symptoms was that women were ending up with partners who they would do anything for, but the partners would treat them like they were dispensable. I think another was that they were misdiagnosed with bipolar but the bipolar meds weren't doing anything. Crazy, huh. More sane than only diagnosing little boys with it, but still crazy

[@karmiedwinnell2803]

Mi Vida Loco! I wasn't truly diagnosed with ADHD until about 3 years ago. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder with depression and anxiety, and was treated for these. I've found a wonderful psychiatrist who took the time to have me tested and to listen to my answers from situations I had found myself in. The county I was living in refused to help either my mother or myself. (She and I purchased a home together in July of 2016.) By the Fall of 2018, we were both exhausted and went looking at Assisted Living Facilities in the area. We found the perfect one and she loved the location. It was on the ground floor, had a huge picture window overlooking a grassy courtyard that we could put her bird feeders in front of so she could watch them. There's so much that happened to us that belongs in a deposition, not what should be listed here. The entire county system was cahoots with each other. I contacted several attorneys which all told me I had a case and our rights had been violated. However, since they were small firms, they would need a minimum of $20,000 to start with. I'm a disabled 64 year old woman living on $1,0xx per month so very unattainable for me. Two different firms in or near the Twin City area told me they no longer get involved with Crow Wing County because "the corruption in that county is so deep, it just doesn't pay to send attorneys there anymore." I've been told by a few friends to watch "I Care Alot" but as of yet I haven't. I'm just wondering if you have any attorney connections in Minnesota that may want to take this on. Laws have been broken with no regard to professional ethics or any consequences for their actions. Hoping you may know someone who would be interested in taking this on. Nearly $500,000 that should have never been taken out of my Special Needs Trust or property probated. If you know of anyone who might have info on an attorney that could handle this in Minnesota, I would be forever in your debt. One attorney told me that in a jury trial over this, the settlement could be well over $1,000,000. Thank you!

[@deanemaccannell5673]

72 and my doctor allowed me to try some Adderall. I finished a painting the very first time I took it. I seldom to complete anything and have at least 3 to 4 projects on the go at all times. It felt good to hear somebody else say the things I’ve always been thinking.

[@frankmariman244]

Wow. I'm a 61 year old man who was diagnosed on my 50th birthday when I finally asked the right person " what the hell is wrong with me?!?!". Adhd has taken a huge toll on my life. I now have stage 4 copd from.m decades of tobacco dependence and drug addiction. I feel like it's just too late for me to get much benefit from being diagnosed other than the relief of getting an answer. I'm not just crazy, the root of my problems has a name and now I understand. The negative self talk is so ingrained now though I don't have much hope of.changing.

[@katesimmarano2968]

I just happened to stumble upon a few of your videos recently and saved some to my watch later list. Then, yesterday, I saw this topic and thought, huh...maybe I should check this out? I had a couple of minutes to eat my brunch and decided to play it.... I'm 53, suffering from PTSD due to several childhood traumas, and some recent traumas have exacerbated it all. I'm just starting to process all of that properly. And now you are blowing my fucking mind!!! Just the first few minutes, I stopped to Google if people with childhood traumas are more likely to have ADHD... YES THEY ARE! 7X! I always thought my "mess" was the trauma. I'm realizing now, that it could very well be BOTH! I have an administrative job and have been struggling so much to focus and not make stupid mistakes. I've felt like such a failure! There just might be hope for me yet?!?!?!?!

[@nancymclaughlin-walter5946]

I love it. My life got much worse after grad school. I was seriously thinking I had early onset dementia. For several years, I worried and suffered in silence. Scared to death of what was happening. I was diagnosed about 10 months ago at 54yoa.

[@SS-qr5qk]

I felt like this too❤

[@user-cf4ou5qb2e]

Mel, I am male. I define adhd, as an extreme difficulty in controlling focus, not an inability to focus, very much like you said, characterized by both hyper & hypofocus...leading to an assault on ego & especially self esteem. You described the mechanics & a lot of the characteristics very well. I am 56. I was diagnosed in my 30s. When I asked my daughter's school to test her for adhd, they guilted & shamed me & accused me of trying to medicate behavioral problems. I knew my daughter could overcome the concentration issues. It was the assault on self esteem I wanted to stop. I understood this strictly from personal experience, people constantly laughing, joking, making fun, report cards, notes on homework (if I turned it in), saying "Marcus has so much potential...but he won't apply himself. If he would try, if he would work... oh how wonderfully he would do & be" Meanwhile, I was working 10x harder than anyone else, just getting less results. I value your talk. It was very good. But, I can't understand how anyone could think that just because a boy is bouncing off the wall (I certainly was) that he is nor also simultaneously beating the pure Hell out of himself for under achieving, & constantly being called lazy or as my first wife said "mentally lazy). When you work harder for less, you can't help, male or female, but think you are stupid or defective. I just want you to know that everything you said about girls is also true about boys + the visible. I am glad you are pointing out that girls are under diagnosed & under-rated, leading to "horrendous" outcomes. I just want you to know that even though it is more visible & recognized in boys, it is still internalized, still creates massive anxiety and if untreated or unsuccessfully treated also leads to horrible outcomes for boys as well. Ps. I have also been grateful for adhd. I credit my ability to think critically & independently to being a birthright outcast. I may have coined the term. Probably not. Being inherently unable to fit in, we are somewhat relieved of the pressure to conform or not to conform for that matter. Already outcast there is nothing to fear in thinking for ourselves. Just another benefit, perhaps my favorite. Your talk was great. I just wanted you to know that it described me nearly as well as it described me. The diagnosis, at first had a negative effect. It further undermined my confidence. I had returned to grad school. I was already struggling mightily, but getting by through Herculean end of semester feats. Then K had a diagnosis, something wrong with me. It was hard before, now I have to do it with a defective brain. At first I couldn't see the benefits. Yes, I have had problems with alcohol, school, work, RELATIONSHIPS...rage. Thank you for your work. It's important

[@edithwood3938]

I'm 62 and living in UK. Im currently taking medication prescribed by my doctor for anxiety and depression......your talk today has left me in tears but enlightened. You spoke to me and described me and my internal life from being that scattered, anxious little girl to the defeated woman I feel I am today. My son was diagnosed ADHD at 14 after trying to get help for him since he was 3 years old. He is now 41, a teacher and living in the far east. After his diagnosis, both he and i had to manage this ourselves. There was very little or no help given those days in the UK, other than medication. It's only in 10 years that there has been any acknowledgement in the UK that ADHD is real. Some still disbelieve. Labelling it bad parenting or bad behaviour. This is simply my experience in the North East of England. It may differ in other areas of the UK. But thank you so much for your message today. I'm possibly not the idiot I believe I am. Will certainly think about speaking to my doctor about this. ❤❤

[@gretchenvanvrancken3334]

I am one of them, because that wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. It was good kid bad kid period. And as an adult when you tell another non ADHD adult this they assume you’re amphetimine shopping instead of being happy for me to understand why I’ve had many of the lifelong issues that I’ve had

[@fibrowarriors]

Hey Mel I'm 62. Last week I told someone that my brain is like a washing machine on full spin 24/7. I also have Fibromyalgia & ME so have that to contend with as well. Thank you for this. I've thought for a while that I have ADHD. Now I'm convinced that I do! I used to work with Special Needs students in a high school. 99% of my students were boys. Peace & love from across the pond ❤🇬🇧

[@marlosymonds10]

Oh. My. God. You just explained ADHD way better than I ever could. I was diagnosed in 2016 with combined type ADHD in the 99th/100th percentile. I was 28 years old then. I am now 35 and medicated, but my symptoms have gotten worse in the past 5 years. My executive dysfunction has caused hoarding-like clutter and destroyed my relationship with my spouse, who doesn’t believe in ADHD. In searching for videos to explain it better than I can as a last attempt, I found yours. Amazing! Thank you so much.

[@ScoutGrey]

Peace be with you

[@kimberlyreynolds3659]

I'm a pro organizer with adhd. If you can get your home 100% organized, it makes maintaining much easier and not overwhelming. Hope this helps.

[@vpmassacre4771]

My hoarding has become worse and worse...ymthus explains so much...

[@joshuaramos5362]

Hey, take a look at the minerals that your medication uses in your body, adhd meds are connected to lower zinc, magnesium, and omega3. All of which actually lower adhd symptoms, now take in the fact that these minerals are naturally deficient with those that are adhd, and add medication; which uses them. If your symptoms are worse, most likely, you are extremely low on certain minerals that your medication uses to work properly. What a rant🤣🤣🤣, yes I am diagnosed with adhd by a professional. Thats crazy, I almost never comment on anything. But if you see this after 8 months, check out those minerals. And talk to your pcp before taking them.

[@lanarenee7135]

My executive functioning with clutter is a huge issue. I'm a high performer at work but not home. I find my clutter issue overwhelming and it impacts significantly on my family. I find putting wireless headphones on listening to podcasts of interest while I declutter helpful. Give it a try. You forget your focused on cleaning and become productive. ❤

[@mrslib]

No one had ever heard of adhd when I was a child. (Now 77) I was the daydream queen but couldn’t stay focused on that. I was 60 before I realized I had adhd. So relieved to know it wasn’t all my fault. Can’t take meds or have coffee. I have learned to avoid the things I am not good at. I don’t have to be like others who do it “right”.

[@mariamfayez9217]

It is a lot of struggle for ADHD people to listen to an hour long episode. Consider that such people get the message in quarter the time need, and they aspire a more engaging conversation

[@trishabnot7125]

100% my story and truth …diagnosed at 47 too 😢…I struggle everyday and self-talk to not lose it.

[@Jackie11665]

I started to cry. This is . I also am a lawyer and nurse and don’t know how the hell I made it through. Every symptom you listed, I have. The things I’ve done for a dopamine rush, quite embarrassed about some of it. I’m 58. What a waste of a life. I hope it gets better from here. A simple thank you is not enough for this enlightening formation. My grandson on medication for it, but I believe my daughter, granddaughter and I all have it. I work night shift as a nurses because I could never shut the noise out during the day. I spent a lot of my free time at home doing the work I couldn’t get done during working hours. Thank you from the bottom of my head. I’m so grateful I stumbled upon your podcast today!

[@zaelock548]

I'm 36F and diagnosed this year. I have ADHD, amongst other things, and it's pretty severe. This video made me cry because if I had been diagnosed earlier in life, maybe my life wouldn't be the complete dumpster fire that it is now.

[@ronis1416]

I was diagnosed professionally about 5 years ago. (I'm 52) A lifetime of feeling wrong, lazy, unworthy, different, misunderstood, and depressed. I am now dedicating my life to helping others on this self-discovery journey. 😇

[@MishaSkripach]

But ther ADHD is just a clever name for "wrong, lazy, unworthy, different, misunderstood, and depressed."... there is nothing to discover, it is just a term to say all this in one word.

[@mcleankristen2]

I was diagnosed at 34 or 35. I felt that same grief and I struggled so much in school and developmentally.

[@Bisalisaful]

36 year old female here. This episode brought me to tears. This was the wake up call I needed to hear and face My brother was diagnosed with ADHD around 7 years old. When I middle school, which is around 12 years old is when I started to feel so lost. I was failing all my classes and I had no idea what was going on. I somehow would miss the fact we had an assignment and would come to class empty handed or not prepared to take a test. Since my brother had the physiological help and mediation he has been doing so well. Married and working in building his family. But I am single and struggle in relationships, but I want nothing more but to find my forever partner. Shopping problem, alcohol issues, drug issues, unable to focus when reading a book, I HATE working in an office, but loved working in a restaurant setting. I am very creative and love working with my hands. This episode is the push I needed to finally face my ADHD challenges and get on with my life. I’ve been feeling stuck for years and I it’s hard for me to feel happy. Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤

[@jessewade4557]

I'm 46, I hope you get the help you wholly deserve. I have been getting my meds from people who sell them because I can't seem to make any doctor appointments. The meds help immensely. I hope you are doing well ☺️

[@JerzTruely]

This is me😣

[@LYoung-et2sg]

I was just assigned some major accounts in my fast paced office job and I’m overwhelmed and drowning. I came unprepared to a monthly meeting with my supervisor because I didn’t realize it was July already 🤦🏻‍♀️. I’m filled with dread every Sunday because the week ahead looms. I also just left my restaurant job which I enjoyed so much more. 😢

[@stacyespinosa9287]

Are you my twin lol

[@dragica124]

42 and just fingured. No meds are offered wgere i live but just knowing what i know is such a relief. I am proud od myself now knowing how much mote effort i have put in everythibg - and still do- while the orchestra is going crazy. I wish i could figure out what pills mihhy be hood fof me to see at elaat for once how normal people think

[@hrodorigesu]

41 yr old male that listened all the way through. I just discovered last week about this. I thank you for explaining so clearly how i feel so i can explain the doc.

[@Jazzy0316]

Was just diagnosed today at 30 with two kids and a husband. After having my first I focused on getting therapy because I’ve always felt something was “wrong” with me, but I hid it for a very long time, until kids brought it back out.

[@AH-hy8ep]

So glad you’re covering this topic! I’m a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD & I’ve seen the devastating effects when ADHD is missed or misdiagnosed. People are always surprised to learn that adult adhd diagnosis & treatment was NOT taught in med school until very recently (if at all). In fact, not covered in many psychiatry residency programs. As you so correctly point out, undiagnosed/treated - it will inevitably lead to anxiety &/or depression. Men are also deeply impacted, as are marriages. My hope is that with education & advocacy the world will gladly accommodate ADHD brains so they can be the innovators & creatives they naturally are.

[@roxannafultz9386]

How does a person go about getting diagnosed? I was in my doctor's office in tears and was told, "don't seek a diagnosis," and that just confuses the hell out of me.

[@2123Judith]

I don’t have any gold

[@2123Judith]

Please play around and bought

[@deborahkarger968]

Thank you

[@VictoriaEPines]

@@roxannafultz9386Change doctors or seek a D.O. (Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine). My D.O. treats everything from my ADHD & Anxiety to my Asthma and High Blood Pressure.