What it Means To Have ADHD And What To Do About it | Mel Robbins

Ready to unlock your potential? 🔥 bit.ly/2024makeithappen 👈 Sign up for my FREE 2-part training, Make It Happen with Mel Robbins. It’s designed to show you exactly HOW you can go from dreaming to doing!
-
Do any of these signs resonate with you?
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, please talk to your doctor if any of this resonates with you.
-
Catch full episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast here on KZbin bit.ly/tmrp_playlist 📺
Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast while you're on-the-go! link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=l... 🎧 Available wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday (to start your week) and Thursday (to get you through it).
-
Subscribe to the channel here: kzbin.info​?s...
-
Follow me here:
Instagram: / melrobbins
TikTok: / melrobbins
Facebook: / melrobbins
Website: melrobbins.com​
-
Sign up for my newsletter written to YOU at: www.melrobbins.com/newsletter
-
Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!
High 5 Habit: amzn.to/3fMvfPQ
The 5 Second Rule: amzn.to/3372Rl9

[@lisamercier391]

Menopause makes it 100xs worse. It's no joke, especially the way you feel about yourself.

[@andie3131]

Omg I thought I was getting early onset of Alzheimer’s !!! I was so scared. Then I found out at 50 that I have adhd

[@dirtgirl7379]

I just burst into tears at minute 29. I'm 51. I'm a business owner, a painter, a ceramist, a total "slob", An overeater and harder on myself than anyone. Thank you Mel ❤

[@gailsargeant4773]

I realised 2 years ago that I had ADD at the age of 65. My school reports all say that I was a daydreamer. I now take ritalin when I need to focus. I never achieved my full potential earlier. I am a teacher. I am now a dyslexia and dyscalculia remedial therapist at 67. Whew. A long road. Childhood neglect is a definite factor in my life.

[@KMHSeattle]

Me too! Two years ago @ 65. Explains So Much about my life. 🙃

[@rrdcreates]

I think the best part of your story is the impact you're having on a new generation. ❤

[@teresatayag]

It was also the time, not much awareness when we were younger.

[@paulaainsworth3681]

I am your twin sister. I am 65 and taught special ed for 35 years. I'm retired now and I'm bored out of my brain. My childhood sounded exactly like yours. The report cards... oh God. . The report cards. My mother had saved them and recently gave them to me. She's 90. She had to raise me. And Daddy too. I have to think what they must have thought when I was a kid! I've got to fund a good therapist to help me now to help me now ! I'm from the South!

[@earthstarvillage3673]

I was diagnosed hyperactive in the early '60s. I couldn't stay still, would rock onto two legs of the chair at school and of course talking a lot. I was prescribed medicine, it was liquid, my parents gave it to me by spoon. The Drs said I would grow out of it by adolescence. Guess they didn't know then what they know now. I have distinct memories. One time my uncle was going to come visit and I got all excited, jumping up and down etc. My dad said,"better give her some medicine." They gave me the medicine and before long I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine jumping around in excitement like I had been 30 minutes earlier. Another time, in first grade, my mother didn't give me medicine before school and I had a meltdown in class. My mother had to come and get me to bring me home. Well, I did grow out of the uncontrollable hyperness, but I didn't turn normal either. I guess I was learning to mask. When I was a teenager I tried smoking cannabis. It had the same effect on me that the medicine did. If I was having an uncontrolled fit over something, it would instantly calm me down. I even had the same feeling that I couldn't imagine being so wound up about what ever had had me upset. Now it's called ADHD and we know it's a lifelong condition that is on a spectrum. I'm in my early 60s now, no longer use the cannabis, maybe occasionally when things get too stressful, it calms that crazy energy

[@adriana27100]

I've noticed within ADHD women's groups, most found out at between the ages 50's to 70's which makes me so sad that it's taken women so much longer to get diagnosed... I just found out at age 40... Women tend to be more high masking as well in my opinion ❤

[@sunrize69]

So true! I'm 55 & was just told I am AuDHD a year ago. I always knew there was something wrong with me. Different. My parents put me in counseling for being a dysfunctional child. And that's basically all the therapist could come up with, too. I dropped out of high-school my freshman year but my mom forced me to go back. So I did. But I just couldn't do it. She then told me i WILL be going to school that next day, or she was kicking me out of the house. I was only 15! My dad absolutely refused to have one of his kids out on the streets. That was about when my entire life changed. I learned at a very young age to mask (I always called it my fake face) well enough just to be able to get myself somewhat in public situations. I have lived a very awful existence. And even at my age now, I don't know how to get myself out of everything I deal with. 😢

[@karenclark9141]

I didn’t find out had ADHD until 6 yes ago and I’m an almost 68 years old. My ex divorced me after 28 years of marriage. Im 20 yes into my second marriage and my current husband was married to me for 15 yes before I was diagnosed. We fight a lot- and I’m always to blame. I hate myself. I when through years with thoughts of suicide in my first marriage- I don’t think about that anymore but I’m sorry I can’t be the wife my current husband deserves. My home 🏡 s cluttered because of me - I forget my family and friend’s birthday’s, I forget all kinds of things , I’m very impulsive!!!!! I am taking medication- but I also have family members who don’t talk to me anymore- life is hard but I keep trying

[@dorothyobrien7724]

​@@karenclark9141 🙏❤

[@dorothyobrien7724]

​@@sunrize69 ❤💕

[@sunrize69]

@@dorothyobrien7724 🤗💓

[@flamingogirl57]

Oh my gosh... this explains so much about myself. I'm 67 and never diagnoses by a professional. My son is an amazing teacher that teaches K-12 Music. He's taught for 21 years now and has seen so many students and staff with ADHD. I was talking to him recently about ADHD and asked him if he thought I had ADHD. He looked at me and said Yes Momma. I've seen that for a long time !! What? It makes so much sense after listening to your video !

[@KatrinaT]

Before I found out I had ADHD I literally wondered if I had a mental disability and my family just never told me. I also felt like everyone else got a manual for how to live life and I didn't. How did people know to do the things they were doing?! (Like succesfully finishing a multi-step project in school.) It was such a relief to find out I have Executive Function problems and that I need work arounds!

[@jazzers377]

I’ve wondered the same. Like am I on the spectrum & no one told me?? I feel so different.

[@DiMakingiteveryday]

Being diagnosed was my first step into my own reality ❤

[@andie3131]

I was recently diagnosed at 50 and feel as if a rock has been lifted! I’ll be doing something or talking about somethings in the past with family and my husband and son are getting irritated because I say that makes total sense now! Or that’s definitely an adhd thing and never knew it! My husband gets upset and say “everybody does that! Not everything is because of adhd!). I’ve told him to look it up and educate himself. That just because he’s done this or seen that growing up doesn’t give him a degree to know the difference and if he doesn’t educate himself he forfeits the right to pass judgment on it!

[@gravebex014]

Thanks to you I didn't give up! Ive been begging doctor's for years to help "fix" me. I just turned 50 in October, and my problems started when I was about 14. I've gotten diagnosed with depression, anxiety, pmdd, bipolar,...and now just a couple days ago..ADHD. My life has been an emotional rollercoaster from hell for so long....maybe now I can exit the ride 😂

[@starlingswallow]

Mel, I SO appreciate this video!!! I was professionally diagnosed with ADHD when I was 32. My abusive ex husband thought I was wrong and felt like I was using this as an excuse. I was diagnosed and got on Adoral. This medicine helped me SO MUCH!! I was able to finish projects and FOCUS! Unfortunately, the 24/7 stress I was under, the anxiety I was having due to who I was married to and working with caused rage issues. I was the submissive, silent wife with no needs, no feelings and no freedom to speak up in our marriage so it was a recipe for disaster. I got off the meds. I'm doing better being 6 years out of that hellish nightmare, but I'm still struggling with drive and focus, even in a safe place that's full of peace. I still have that inner voice that is SO hard on myself! I thank you for this video! ❤❤❤

[@dawngilbert2761]

I listened to a podcaster, can't remember which, who proposed the option that ADHD could be a throwback trait of our hunter-gatherer ancestors. They have to be able to switch focus in an instant to survive. I like this therory.

[@SandyBatten1962]

How would that theory work to promote survival if we’re distracted by or hyper focused on the inane whilst a lions 🦁 eating the villagers?

[@timefficient]

@@SandyBatten1962intensity & stimulation

[@ComesTheLight]

That is a theory of Thom Hartmann's. He is a podcaster and wrote a book about it: "A Hunter Gatherer in a Farmer's World.

[@donnakohler5166]

I found out at 55!!!! Amazing I made it this far. I was an outside sales rep so it was a great job for me for 39 years but now???? Help.

[@auntiemame7076]

Two of my favorite podcasters finally getting together. Yay!

[@auntiemame7076]

I can really relate to the regret. On top of the same “why didn’t I know” I also had an executive coach who several years ago suggested I should see someone to determine if I had ADHD. I went into complete denial. I also didn’t have access to the more advanced research and content that has come out the last 5 years. But my biggest problem was that I was not willing to even consider I might have a biological issue because I am quite high functioning.

[@frankbreuer8849]

"I finally had an explanation for something about the way that my mind worked and the way that I felt, that made me (for 47 years) feel like: there was something defective about me. And I could not figure it out." 🙋🏻‍♂ Who also resonates with that?

[@andie3131]

Me 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

[@clairefaie5816]

I’m 40 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD . I’m a perfect example of Gabor mates theory on trauma and ADHD. It’s great to finally have an answer after all these years!! ❤️

[@Joey-xx1wb]

I was diagnosed at 40 too, I’m 50 now went through a painful divorce but at least I know what the shadow over my life is called because it helped me find were might answer might lie. I’m 50 and still figuring it out

[@user-sl8bg4zx7v]

I just learned, there is a high probability that I have ADHD….I am 54y and this explains why certain issues have plagued my life.

[@jillottney5142]

I watched this whole video and was waiting to hear what you did to help yourself? The Dr I thought was going to let us know how to fix this problem or give us guidance? What helped YOU? Pills or diet? I would love some insite on this.

[@TropicalChicTx]

Me too

[@elizabethwarman9028]

Hi Mel, I was diagnosed ADHD at age 53 years old. I was jazzed with my diagnoses. Explained everything to me. I was in school from 1961-1974. Why was I diagnosed? I was addicted to Vicodin. I was getting Vicodin illegally, stealing from my Mom, getting from China and Canada. My medical doctor sent me to a Therapist. Well, I was given a test. Well, I was severely ADHD. Plus, I had to go to Detox or Jail. I went to Detox. I did Detox twice. But it wasn't until I Oded on Tramadol, had a Gran Maul sezuize and ended up spending four weekend in the hospital. Because I was an addict I had to walk, take the elevator, and walk to my Personal assistant car. The year was 2016. My personal assistant now gives me three Codeine a day. My problem today is my personal assistant refuses to understand ADHD. I impulsively shop, and my personal assistant thinks anything regarding ADHD will give me permission to shop for a million Diamond paintings from different companies. I tell her, no it is to help her understand me, and control my shopping. Her response is " Nonsense " Please let me know when you will have video on making nonADHD understand ADHD.

[@kateshorter1807]

I found out at 61! Yikes so wish I’d known sooner. Grateful to Mel as hearing her story was one clue.

[@robertgemesi277]

I am a 39-year-old man, and I was diagnosed at 37. Practically everything mentioned about female ADHD in the podcast applies to me as well. For me, it's more in my head than in hyperactivity. Statistically, women may be diagnosed less often, but on an individual level, I don't think there's a big difference in ADHD between genders.

[@BigPiePublishing]

You’re exactly right

[@janieeller2871]

Finally made the time to listen to the full video. Mel, thank YOU for addressing everything in this video, the doc speaker, and mentioning Twitch. Life is so damn difficult. I’d like to volunteer to let doc study me with my ADHD, dyscalculia, anxiety and depression, no college degree, raising twins as a single parent, losing both parents to cancer, the pandemic…depression is real. And it’s not always easy crawling back up out of that deep, dark hole. Mel, love your podcast and videos. Thank you for all you do and the awareness you bring to the real world. ❤

[@adriana27100]

Mel Robbins is the best! And I just got diagnosed with ADHD/AUTISM so finally finding out... The puzzle pieces are all coming together at once now! Can't wait to watch the whole episode! ❤

[@greggates1830]

I was diagnosed 25 years ago , but knowing does not help.

[@andie3131]

@@greggates1830it definitely helps how I think about the things I do. It feels good to know there is a reson for things I do and not just because I’m lazy and disorganized. Me spending 12 hours vegging on the couch is likely tack paralysis and not me purposely avoiding getting up to do the things I desperately want to do but don’t…. Getting the diagnosis definitely doesn’t FIX those things but it does give me some relief noting why this happens …

[@denise4333]

All makes sense now. Thank you so much. Have been close to tears all the way through this video.

[@joannacabunce8154]

I was told that gluten has a lot to do with our brain health, that includes helping us manage our ADHD and anxiety better than taking any sort of medication. I tried a lot, therapy, i went for yoga training and took anti depressants.. none of this work, i feel numb or still i feel sad. Im on a gluten free diet and i feel much better. Less negative thoughts and i feel more enthusiastic. I still have adhd but i feel i can manage it better.

[@InspiringYoungLady]

That's interesting. I was already gluten intolerant, and lately sticking to a low carb diet has helped me feel kess mentally drained.

[@janieeller2871]

I’m not alone? Sure feels lonely in this lost generation. Dyscalculia is another unfamiliar diagnosis. Like you, diagnosed as an adult with ADHD, Dyscalculia, and anxiety. It’s tough. Absolutely can see where trauma is part of it. Thanks for speaking about this subject @melrobbins

[@janechapman7801]

Dyscalculia is well known though looks a dyslexia association websites

[@worthtryingonce]

I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as a kid but treated for depression, not ADHD. I’m finally getting treated for ADHD and It’s so validating.

[@shellyrienhardt8587]

Adhd gets worse when going through menopause too!

[@andie3131]

That’s what I’ve heard. I was getting scared I was getting onset early Alzheimer’s recently. But a couple months ago I was diagnosed adhd at 50. I was sooooo relieved when I seen that was not likely Alzheimer’s but a sign of adhd in menopausal women!

[@Lilynite10]

Getting a diagnosis which I did at 44 is not the greatest news like everyone says! All depends what n your situation. I got diagnosed & received absolutely no treatment after & still haven’t. Fine for people who got through life but for some of us it has been extremely debilitating & when you have a shit Ron of trauma too. Fine for Mel she had the money to go to a top doctor etc. Most of us don’t have that privilege or the support of a partner, anyone really.

[@gailgrigg]

If you have a diagnosis, then a doctor should be able to prescribe stimulants, first line of treatment. Do you have a doctor who can get that going for you?

[@andie3131]

@@gailgriggor even non stimulants My doc prescribed me straterra and my daughter doc prescribed her concentra. So one of us stimulant and one of us non stimulant. It’s been a couple months and I think possibly working for me but not so sure about my daughter…

[@DyanEsoap]

Thank you for this episode, it explains why the medication hasn’t fixed my ADHD. I’m 56 years old, diagnosed with severe ADHD at 55 years old. I am also dyslexic and have had severe trauma from a very young age multiple times.

[@stretch0511]

OMG I’ve know I had ADHD for over a year now. But hearing you talking about studying, I had a flashback to University where I’d go to the quietest library on campus, and the quietest floor. And when I was picking my floor for residence, I chose the quietest on the scale from very noisy to very quiet.

[@ziptana2160]

Been working w my therapist on this exact topic .i been reading woman With adhd (I am lesbian) and it’s spot on . Listening everyday about this subject just confirms it all .

[@Cooperfan54]

I was diagnosed with adhd at 32, I’m a male, but didn’t present with many of the classical symptoms that males usually do. None of the physical stuff. It has always been internal very similar to female presentation. So it can REALLY vary. I don’t think it’s fair to categorize it as boy vs girl symptomatology and that’s that. And mine certainly didn’t get better with age. Unfortunately it got worse or at best kept me at barely there functionality.

[@aiya818]

ADHD is a neurological condition that you are BORN with, PTSD and other conditions like depression and anxiety, are something acquired during life through experiences. Whilst there are many commonalities and overlaps between symptoms of ADHD, PTSD, anxiety and depression - they are not the same. Hense the issues of misdiagnosis many face (myself included, until recently). Many studies and evidence backed theories are increasingly showing that ADHD is not a disorder, but more a natural response to a very UN-natural way of life (capitalism, industrialisation etc). An excellent evolutionary trait that ensured our survival and evolution as a species. Our species has evolved for tens of thousands of years to be hyper attuned and aware of our environment, for survival. Some brains are naturally more attentive to these cues, and people like this would’ve been those on night watch protecting the village, the hunters, the gatherers, the shamans - picking up on every little thing, and due to their awareness, most likely would’ve been incredibly successful. These days, it’s a totally different and reasonably new way of life, with so much overstimulation and lack natural human activity so to speak (foraging, walking constantly etc). Ofcourse people who are neurodivergent are having a bloody hard time in our current society! Put them in a more organic village setting and see how they will flourish. Cannot stress enough that the challenging symptoms of ADHD are a totally natural reaction, to a very unnatural way of life. You will 100% want to be on our team when shit hits the fan and there is an apocalypse 🤣🙆🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️

[@serenasgardenshares]

I love your response I so agree with you 100%

[@tacobeller5941]

Mel I have ADHD and I was doing great on Adderall I took it for over ten years I had to switch doctors because of different insurance and they took me off of it. My life is trash now I can't pay attention to anything now.

[@andie3131]

I’m so sorry! Maybe look into a different doctor though. Your insurance should be contracted with quite a few drs you can see which one would be a good g dr it for you?

[@ashleygreen5611]

Thank you So Much for this video. I am in tears right now over the tools of information I am receiving from this.

[@DiMakingiteveryday]

I was late 20’s.Had to morn the life I would have had if I would have known earlier. Life got better everyday from diagnosis. ❤

[@sierraarmstrong4111]

I'm 25 years old a mom of 3 and 1 on the way. As a child I was diagnosed with manic depression and bipolar type 2, I was hospitalized 3 times between the age of 12-13 for self harm, attempting deletion etc. Iv been on probably 20 different medications from 12-16 just nothing worked for me. I struggled really bad in school I tried so hard and just couldn't focus in class 45 minutes would go by like 5 seconds and i have no idea what the heck was said. I've always had such a hard time focusing especially when someone's talking I just get lost in my own head. Now as an adult and parent it has really affected me, I'm the late mom, I'm always late always in a rush always scatterbrained, I'm the one that cleans the most in my house but don't ask where I put your stuff bc I won't remember it's like as soon as it leaves Mt hands the memory is gone poof. I'm a master procrastinator I know I should leave my house as 1:00 to make it to a appointment but instead I have to change the laundry out, sweep and vacuum, fold cloths like it's ridiculous and I know I'm doing it but I just cannot help it, iv always had sensory issues since I was a child loud sounds certain textures it's literally miserable getting a shower I HATE being wet I hate the feeling of soaps and water and wet hair it's just misery. I use cleaning to procrastinate and cleaning over whelms me so much I just see 100 things that need cleaned but I know it's either clean or I have to sit down and do resumes and apply to jobs and it's simple for my husband but to me it's like all these little things that require a lot of attention and effort like finding a job, scanning the description for keywords and language and then tailoring my resume to that job description with their language and then creating a cover letter for that job and I have to do this for every single job and it's just so much I end up giving up and scrubbing baseboards instead and then by time I feel like I can try again I'm so exhausted from cleaning and parenting I'm like okay I'm tired I'm going to apply to jobs tomorrow and instantly feel relieved for the rest of the night but I still clean up until I lay down to sleep it's like my body just goes and my brain is like I have to do this and this and this I should be doing this just 5 more minutes, after I clean the living room I'll sit down to apply for jobs and I just never do it it's now affecting me financially and I can't ignore it. Iv always had a really hard time managing my anger I just explode, I have always had a hard time dealing with any intense emotion I like lose my mind bc I want it to go away which is where addiction came into play when I was a teenager into adulthood self medicating to cope. As a teenager I was addicted to stimulants I just felt normal for once I was actually able to take a shower every day, get things done easily etc they didn't affect me like other people. Now I'm an adult and been sobor for 4 years now and it's becoming unmanageable and I can't ignore it and my usual coping methods aren't an option. Hopefully when I get evaluated this month I can get on track!

[@lindamaturan2134]

I'm listening Mel. So informative thanks for these topics Steven more power to you guys ❤

[@jeno9465]

The anxiety makes sense and also childhood trauma from parents that constantly arguing. I've been put on anxiety meds I stuggled learning at school I found it so hard. I got my adhd diagnosed at age 41, that was 5 months ago. I'm trying to come to terms I feel like I've had no help since finding out I'm still in the dark on how to help myself I'm in the UK so just waiting for help but I think everyone is that's been diagnosed x

[@findingaway5512]

I would love to see an interview with Ellen Littman. She is amazing. There's a fantastic talk directed at mothers with ADHD on the Attitude ADHD experts podcast. Episode 97.

[@Katie-Lou039]

Should have known Mel was ADHD. She always talks more anyone else, even when she's interviewing. I should have known. Waiting for my diagnosis after I found out my daughter was. I'm 40 next year

[@Janderra]

I learned to tune out when I was raising and Hone Schooling an ADHD and now late diagnosed at 27 as ASD as a single mum that was late diagnosed at 48... oh my gosh life is hard

[@sultan.savalan]

I love the way the difference of outcome of ADHD between girls and boys is connected to how the environment reacts to them differently because I am a guy but I show the outcome that mostly girls show just because I grew up in an environment that pushed me exactly that way. By the way I got suspicious about my condition after watching a TED talk and was clinically diagnosed at 45. 😐

[@Frankie_Stenn]

Love love this video. Love love Mel Robbins❤

[@helenrachel1520]

Thank you Mel ❤

[@rrdcreates]

Thank you for your content - it really opened my eyes to learn more about this. Just got diagnosed at 35; lifetime artist, good student, but a hot mess with unfinished projects, last minute, losing keys, etc - all of that was piling up on me and appeared to be anxiety. With anxiety medication I felt better, but the shallow affect really impacted my creativity. Yes, I wasn't anxious anymore about things I couldn't control, but I also genuinely didn't care about the side projects I had to get out of the 9 to 5. After further information and work it was determined I was Adhd which made perfect sense since my brother is also. But he was treated as a child and I was just marked scattered and lazy since I was so good at academics. It's amazing how easily we carry weight we don't even know.

[@karlaschreiber3127]

Your podcasts on this topic are how I led myself to self diagnosis. This has made a big difference in my life. Thank you!

[@sunshinepatti4225]

You NAILED ME TO THE CORE!!

[@drsarapaynembe2005]

O m fecking god this is life changing I’m angry and excited all at the same Tim my daughter was diagnosed with both ADHDand Autism Spectrum when she was around 10/11 I refused to medicate her because I believe that children are not robots and should be allowed to be different also although the class room was difficult for her her labels are also her super powers she is so musically talented it’s amazing she has taught herself how to play many instruments she sings writes and now produces her own songs I now realise I am probably one of the lost I am diagnosed with CPTSD as a family we have had massive trauma I’m just so intrigued right now

[@frankbreuer8849]

The link to anxiety is very important.

[@El-aitch]

Just diagnosed at 39. I showed symptoms very early but because I’m a woman it showed so differently. I have inattentive and hyperactive. Hyperactivity in girls can appear as constantly talking, making noises etc. I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life and believed I was dumb, incapable of being organized and just a loser. Getting diagnosed showed me I’m not bad. I’m not dumb; I just have challenges.

[@Tracitini13]

I was diagnosed in my 40s. If I would have had meds in high school my life would have been sooo different. Now im in my early 50s and I can't focus or concentrate without my meds.. much less drive When I graduated highschool I read at 4th grade level, i too was dyslexic.

[@HistoryHonk]

36:25 hey, that’s me! (Y-chrome thou)

[@mitzitakes522]

Try cutting down on carbohydrates?

[@mitzitakes522]

Not to be disrespectful, just a suggestion. Many doctors finding that overconsumption of carbohydrates, especially ultra processed foods, drive epilepsy, add, metabolic disorders, autoimmune diseases etc.

[@kam1747]

Just to clarify, girls can also present the same symptoms that boys present but it is still not diagnosed. I was very hyperactive as a kid, I was also very distracted but people didn't think I had ADHD because I was a girl and I guess most teachers didn't know about ADHD

[@janet3895]

So funny, doesn’t notice that addressing dog in the room is part of ADHD. 😱squirrel! lol

[@rockinrm]

This is a great topic! This is me

[@dirtgirl7379]

The summer between 6&7th grade, I got my class schedule in the mail; I had 4 classes in a row in the same room. "Opt prgm". Apparently, my mother had been summoned to the school. I was a "problem". Transferring into Jr high they were convinced I would be disruptive and even more of a problem. So, they put myself and roughly 20 other kids into a class called the Opportunity Program. We were label to the whole school as the problem kids. We were supposed to be taught communication skills and community. We were isolated, and over my seventh grade year I and my classmates watched our male and female teachers try to hide the affair they were having. It was 1987. Most of us took turns getting sent to the principal's office. Many of us hated each other by the end of the year, had a stigma with our peers and I think maybe 4 of us made it to graduation in the same school. Several ended up in juvy or continuation high school. Never diagnosed with ADD. None of us were.

[@AnnWilson-pi6te]

me too i’m 58 my10 years old grandson has this i have it 34 symptoms and my middle oldest son has it too undiagnosed ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@khadijahmary96]

thank you for sharing this conversation. after listening to your story, I am feeling more aware, inspired, and empowered. 💐 it would be great to see Dr. Gabor Mate on the show with you one day.

[@maryshaffer5675]

I think two of my children just inherited my inability to follow through with anything.

[@auntiemame7076]

There are multiple researchers working on ADHD and trauma link. Dr K (healthy gamer GG), brilliant clinical psychiatrist has really helpful podcasts and streams on this that go into the physiological drivers as well. Great supplement to this conversation.

[@flumpyflumpy3515]

Wish I had the money to get the diagnosis 🤞🏻

[@gailsargeant4773]

I asked my GP for ritalin after I realised that I am ADD and I take it only when I need to really focus.

[@merijnvanschaik4989]

Mel, I love your videos. I gecanerally like ADHD-explanatory videos: You, Jessica McBale, Russel Barkley..). Yet an hour-and-a-half is .. well.. pushing it ;-) when thniking of the concentrationspan of an average ADHA-patient. Love ya!!

[@MrFrugalFrank]

I self diagnosed my ADHD 50 years ago.Just was hyper lol. My nephew was diagnosed as a child 25 years ago.But recently found out he has a type of Austism.

[@LoveandMisses]

Always looking for a medical diagnosis.

[@michelerowe176]

I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago at age 56. But the first Psychologist I saw would not give me the diagnosis because - even though all the other tests confirmed ADHD - I did well in school, therefore, I could not have had it. I didnt realize being halfway smart disqualified you from the diagnosis... (it doesn't, by the way). I had learned early on (in junior high) that I could focus much better drinking sodas with caffeine - so basically masked it all those years. But I hit a point 2 years ago where caffeine stopped working for me. I could drink large amounts of caffeine and still fall asleep at work dozens of times a day. I looked into getting an ADHD diagnosis as well as a Narcolepsy (or similar sleep disorder) diagnosis. When you complain about daytime sleepiness, the first thing they do is test for Sleep Apnea. And very rarely do you NOT have Sleep Apnea. I used a CPAP for a year and never felt better. Requested a test for Narcolepsy, but they wouldn't test unless I agreed to keep using CPAP. I considered that a form of blackmail. So I changed doctors, and found out I DO have Idiopathic Hypersomnia (similar to Narcolepsy), and that I do NOT have sleep apnea. That was a long process, so during that time I also sought a 2nd opinion on the ADHD. I saw a Psychiatrist who did give me the diagnosis - primarily because his wife has it, so he was a little more open minded about the late diagnosis of women. The 2nd sleep doctor, however constantly tried to convinvce me I did not have ADHD. (Cough.. gaslighting.. cough) But my strong stance on knowing I did came from understanding what "Executive Dysfunction" is, and knowing I struggled with that. Even after the test confirming the sleep disorder (which also showed I did NOT have sleep apnea) that sleep Dr. STILL tried to convince me to wear a CPAP (I hadn't yet seen the test results myself). I told him I didn't think it helped me, so no thanks! (my primary care doctor was already treating me for ADHD and the sleepiness...) He got frustrated and yelled at me to just "lose some weight and see if that helps". I'm not skinny, but I've been at the same weight for a long time - (150 - 165 range). So I hung up on him... Don't let Doctors gaslight you. If you don't feel like something is helping, be firm! For those who do have Sleep Apnea, a CPAP will make a huge difference in how they feel. But it must also be very profitable because they went to great lengths make me think I had it. It's not been an easy journey, but I made it through the other side. Still working on the best dosing to treat the ADHD and sleepiness, but I'm doing so much better!!!

[@jeangubar2132]

I am 62 and saw an old film of me when I was maybe 2 or 3 and I could tell by just viewing that something was wrong with me.

[@cannedangel8550]

OMG Mel!! at minute 38ish I started laughing so hard: "roaming, investigating, not sitting still..." I as an adult in an art course, would secretly leave for a few minutes to get croissants for the class and make coffee" I couldn't sit and listen blah-blah-... Same as at a pottery class..but seriously, how validating and informative is this content Mel. I struggled through high school and college thinking I was stupid or something. Thank you 🙂🙂

[@ssgaffney]

Mel, I enjoy your material. For this video, perhaps updating the title to say ADHD for 'women'.. I advanced a few times and this does seem to be the focus. Nothing personal, the 5 sec rule hugely impacted my life. On this, I'll take responsibility here as well that the amount of niche, 'x-community', issues turns me nauseous, quickly. To me, the continued 'silent generation' language is loaded and reinforces this and I just couldn't choke it down. As being diagnosed later with ADD myself, I was looking forward to hearing more that I could relate to.

[@jennifervieira99]

I was diagnosed last year and my mom gets very upset with me when I try to talk to her about my struggles and how and what to do. She turns her head away from me and gets upset with me. I wasn't bad child I was shy and painful very quiet because when I would try to think about what was being taught and then I would forget what I was thinking about and what someone just said to me. I can learn something but it will take a thousand times to learn it then i got it.....but if I step away for a week its gone everything i learned and how long it took me to learn it its gone. I try to keep it and I might keep some of it but its like starting all over. The problem i have is I don't look like I have a problem. I just want a techic to help me remember everything so im not struggling. I have dreams and wanted everything that everyone else dreams about. I need more time but the world moves faster than my brain so its discouraging to me. I just want to be happy with everything. You know when you accomplish a goal and you are so proud of yourself and then move on to the next thing...what if you finished that first goal but failed all the next steps and no one saw or believed what you were struggling with or that you needed extra help. What would you do how would you get help how would you show everyone that you truly weren't able to understand something or everything that was being taught. But you don't want to be stuck in this bad place. Never drinking or doing drugs but everyone looks down on you for being a failure. How do I change these things in my brain I definitely want help with that but I don't want the medication. It puts me in a bad place of sickness that makes me throw up and other things. What is the answer?

[@louiseodgaard1604]

I hear you sis 👏👌❤️ I love your take on suicide 🥲🥲 Thank you 🙏🏻💫

[@gedt123]

While I do agree that girls may well have been under diagnosed. I also have been diagnosed late in life (49) for the exact same reason. My symptoms are exactly the ones you mentioned and they never got recognised by anyone. Men like me are just characterised as capable but lazy. More so for me as I am a black male so the other usual criticisms were also made. I’m also sure it isn’t about being male or female. It’s about the difference between hyper active adhd or inattentive variant. Which I assume girls get more as they are socialised not to be as impulsive

[@elizabethwarman9028]

Hi Mel, I had a total lack of confidence, still do. Why? Because my Grandma would call me dumb, stupid and retarded. One Saturday she went out in the front yard screaming at the top of lungs that I was useless, ugly, stupid, dumb, and retarded. Well, within the week CPS came and visited Grandma. They also spoke to my Mom. All of this because I was ADHD. But, remember the year was 1965.

[@seanpaulcurran]

My experience being diagnosed at 39 (this year) has not been as exciting. Suddenly all of the jokes that people made about me, all came back up again, and I felt angry that people could be so fucking cruel to someone like me who did not have the access to, nor the means to know that my brain was wired this way. Then, I felt like "The joke was on the whole time?" when all of a sudden, friends would be like "WELL I - could have diagnosed you with THAT" as if I must be so obvious, to everyone, but my own self. ultimately, I am having a low-level identity crisis with my diagnosis, and it is not as good of an experience as I wish it could be.

[@seanpaulcurran]

Hearing about Oakley's handwriting, I had the same exact experience! they made me wear sports hand bands, in an effort to get me to write better. Ultimately though, the Catholic school that I was in, treated me as the class dunce for these experiences. Which is why, in my above comment, I just feel sad. Because I accepted the bullying and it became a part of me, and now, at 40, it feels too hard to dismantle. I just wish the "system" knew to test me sooner. Rather than constantly call me "problem student" "troubled" and "bad"

[@MrsJedmo]

I totally hear you on this! I had a similar experience and I was diagnosed at age 40... but there's still plenty of time for you to change your life! I'm graduating from university this month at age 48 🙏 and it's because I completely turned my life around with the help of my treatment. Don't waste another minute thinking about those mean people.. you take your opportunity to now live your best life 🙏🙏

[@Teachingtea]

I had to keep rewinding, lol!

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

I have been fighting to get diagnosed for a while. I’m 31 and most doctors just ignored me saying I “wasn’t hyperactive” so I didn’t meet criteria… 😂 what a load of crap huh??

[@pelicanphuucker4life]

I don't mean it in a bad way at all but being diagnosed early, at that time....I don't think you're life would be any better. I'm ten years younger, male, and was diagnosed at a younger age. I wasn't treated ANY differently than anyone else and wasn't treated at all! Things are different maybe now but back then all it would have done was give you a complex. Trust me.

[@ilililil4320]

I wish to have a serious diagnose and be treated but I don’t know who’s in a darker place, me or the country I live in right now?

[@cremebrulee4759]

Where is the discussion of dietary changes that need to be made? It's very disappointing to listen to this more than an hour long video and not get the "what to do information" promised in the title.

[@ExjanaH]

I love you Mel and you have given me so much great information in your videos but I just have 1 question - had you never even once read a book with your son? I find it very hard to believe that you and your husband, being very highly functioning and highly educated that you had no idea your son couldn't read? Is it that you had Nannie's or others watching your kids as you were building your career? Just curious. No harsh judgement, just true curiosity....

[@kats405]

I just feel, sadness, right at this moment. I have been trying to help my son (and I) but have not been able to, pills work for a short time , my pediatrician is always MIA , I dont know where to look or what to do. I am frustrated and sad and I feel horrible and I am fed up. did I say I am frustrated?

[@casoniadespire3008]

How can you get diagnosed if you don’t have the crazy money to get tested/treated?

[@rrdcreates]

You talk to your primary care doctor and they can screen you and offer medication options if necessary.

[@ExjanaH]

I too found out about having ADHD at 50! So I'm not judging, just want to know how this happens..

[@janechapman7801]

What mistakes are careless, or you over compensate and are early for everything you do your homework early because you are beating yourself up if you arevalso dyslexic you proof read and spell check right up to deadline uts exhausting.

[@MichelleWAperth]

I missed the diet part. Was it in there? There was so much repetition in the beginning that made me annoyed, I wonder if i missed it. I actually went and got a pen and paper and there was no dirt part.

[@jazzers377]

I could NEVER study in the quiet of the library. I had to study in the student union. I read books best at Starbucks. I work best at Starbucks to this day. And then there are times I can’t get focused for certain activities even with every perfect environment set. Lo-fi music, activity, tv on in the background. Especially if it is an activity I’m afraid I won’t be able to do correctly or it is new skills.

[@kathigratton2286]

I need to know the tablet you have 😊

[@jamierodenberg8100]

I’m not sure if I feel any better about all of this finding out that I’m a walking mental asylum in my head. I’m gonna be 47 and I was treated for anxiety depression and I just now got a medication that helps with ADHD anxiety and depression Supposedly, I just started it so we’ll see.

[@janechapman7801]

Surely though if your dyslexic its also hard to work out why other people can't understand things or link them together at times. Why we are wasting time learning somethings twice but uts frustrating for people t o wait for you to copy the material depending on how your dyslexia affects you.

[@Vingriss_]

I have had AdH-ey look at those chickens

[@LLhypno]

Kids say to me 'squirrel' . Because I'm off.

[@Reactswithwater]

My experience was a lot different

[@InfiniteCelestialBeauty]

What's the difference between ADHD and ADD

[@fraut.4118]

It's all ADHD these days. There are three types with the H: hyperactivity on the outside, the inside and the mixed type

[@Onestep2atime]

I have heard that trauma responses look like ADHD.

[@janechapman7801]

Do you need yo be fixed sometimes it an advantage!

[@piramaal]

I have self diagnosed perimenopausal onset ADHD.

[@carolekincaid3701]

Dis-ease

[@stevekaylor5606]

No one will debate John Roseman - on the existence of ADHD or ADD. Robert Whitaker says, " The psychiatric drugging of children is a crime against humanity! " / Disease-like Freudian labels are played to justify the use of neurotoxic drugs, instead of empathic talent training - so would 2nd Degree Assault be a good place to begin? - as I wrote to Peter Breggin!

[@snowkittycellist]

OK, I was agreeing and following until you went into the part about childhood trauma. ADHD is about low dopamine levels. It’s about dopamine seeking. When you go into trauma and things like that, that might be comorbid given the person‘s particular background, but ADHD is specifically about low dopamine And that’s a nature and genetics thing, not a nurture thing.

[@TheKristamazing]

I don't see the suicide resources in the show notes

[@zekwilt]

Everytime I need to fart I think in my head 5:02