THE TRUTH ABOUT DIVORCE| LOSING FRIENDS, THE CHURCH AND GODS HEART Ft THANDO MAZWI

[@AobakweSerole]

The problem is cultivating friendships based on our relationship statuses. “Married friends” it’s from this base that a lot of toxicity comes and spills into marriages. Very common but not spoken about. The comparison, the over sharing, the reliance on examples of other couples and not really faith. Two cents

[@kgomotsomaleme1320]

And the " competition" amongst the couples haai

[@tondaniraluswinga2590]

Exactly, it's like how people where talking about friendships are based on aesthetics. People forget that a person is their heart and character. I am so tired of seeing women go through it.

[@kgabomohafe]

You said it best

[@promisemunenyiwa5479]

wooooord...

[@Chidzy.M]

She looks a lot like your daughter Esi. Soooo gorgeous🥺❤️ Love love the segment🙌🏽 so informative❤️

[@tshepisompala2236]

Agree totally

[@tshenolomasilela6360]

Now that you mention it!!!😮😮😮😮

[@Kevin_Makhubo]

This is really beautiful and very insightful I must say. Without fail, alot of people will benefit from this and now I know where to refer my patients when it comes to divorce related issues. Thando Mazwi-what a strong beautiful lady, in and out. May God bless you more sis❤ Thank you so much Mrs Makhubo for yielding to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. We truly thank God for you Shuga❤❤❤

[@orientormahlaba4718]

Baby Esi took her face.🥺😍 Loved this conversation, I learned so much and gained perspective I could have never had.

[@ntshembomacevele2294]

I believe there’s a great shift in the Christian community. My church now offers divorce care sessions. It’s a progressive journey for the church. The gaps we see are ours to fill. Thank you for such an informative conversation

[@Mbalings]

Yoh, she's so beautiful. Your daughter looks so much like her, actually 😍 Very important conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed it despite being neither married nor christian.

[@LungeloTjatji]

I also see Esi in big sis 😅❤

[@letshegonqum8226]

Liked how Thando explained her understanding of why God doesn't like divorce,it makes sense.

[@ntsakomavunda9018]

Loved it too ❤. Beautiful episode, thank you Thando for this one

[@nhledk8607]

What a beautiful conversation about divorce especially when you are a Christian. I divorced 7 yrs ago, I was a devoted Christian and a homecell leader. However, the judgment and lack of support that I experienced was too painful I decided to leave the church. People perceived divorce as contagious, I lost 80% of married friends. I joined a church predominantly white where there was divorce support for me and my boys. We have healed now, and I am in a better space. There is healing and restoration in the name of Jesus, it takes time. And yes there were signs that he was a cheater and I chose to ignore, went ahead and married

[@tondaniraluswinga2590]

Would you say you got married becaus if the pressure to keep up with the Jones at church? Because you say you saw the red flags but you went through with it anyway? I am so curious because I think the church can contribute to so much toxicity in relationships. And for me it's the lack of holding men accountable at church. That's the thing that bothers me.

[@nonkumonkoe]

Well done to you. I am in a church that has a support group for divorcees as well it’s a black church and I found it’s very realistic actually to have that group

[@hdhdhdhdhdh3264]

Me i dismissed in my church

[@nonkumonkoe]

@@hdhdhdhdhdh3264 sorry to hear that I hope you found another home…

[@hdhdhdhdhdh3264]

@@nonkumonkoe i'll find another home for the glory of God🙏

[@phelosikhakhane]

Thanks Buli for bringing Thando, You guys are beautiful BTW. I concur with Thando, I also lost community from abazalwane after divorce. I was married to the Pastor, he married one of the sisters at church lol.....My "best friend" who was married at the time, came to tell me that her husband said she must break ties with me, I didn't mind abazalwane leaving me, they were not my friends anyway, but when I lost friends, then life became real. Thanks again for this conversation, and it's true, single people are the only people who held me down, they embraced me. I was excommunicated at church and I left. I'm at peace now. Imagine, I got married at the age of 21 and divorced at 27.

[@motheowalerato701]

❤❤❤

[@gugusibanyoni4606]

This was a beautiful episode. As a Christian , I've observed this side lining of the divorced and it honestly portrays a bad image of God

[@mpumeleloenhlemokwena6]

Firstly can we have a moment for Noluthandos beauty shuuu ❤ I'm happy that Thando has healed

[@preciousnaledi3893]

😭😭😭 My mother experienced this every single thing your sister experienced she did too. She was isolated no one supported her and yet she served so diligently for almost 20 years and helped so many people at church. The judgement she received 💔 even though they knew how bad it was and that she had almost lost her life. It was so bad the fact that we still standing as christians is proof that God is good. It took her 26 years to leave but she left and it was the hardest but best decision she’s ever made.

[@LungeloTjatji]

😢❤

[@mmathemak7078]

Sorry to hear about your mom. The church may have isolated her but Christ didn't. ❤

[@alinahjeleni7048]

May the Lord continue to shine His face on your mom🫂🥰🥰

[@motheowalerato701]

❤❤❤

[@MissQomfortable]

So glad I listened to this. Am single, but some of my friends have been getting a divorce. This truly helps with how to support them 🤗

[@Nqobakonke]

Your daughter looks so much like your sister 🥹🙈

[@tshenolomasilela6360]

Nizong’judger when I ask for the middle sister to join the couch shem? 😩❤️ So much beauty and wisdom!!!

[@paballopule9929]

This content is so needed in this day and age, it equips us in so many ways. As a single person, my biggest takeaway is to build relationships based on gunuine live and care, not status. Love people regardless of where they are at, learn to check in and pray for those around you always!

[@mwelasendabula2911]

I'm happy Thando is feeling better!!!! There are some crazy Christians out there who will kill people in the name of serving The Lord!!!! Our personal relationship with The Bible and The Holy Spirit is soooo vital especially in this pervesed world... May God fully heal you dear Sis and give you your power and control back!!!

[@sharonthemba8764]

The conversation is educational. This is one of the conversations as Christians, we shy away from it. How she explained the pain of divorce, it is clear that the pain is beyond. Thank you for bringing your amazing sister.

[@katlee_ntuli7951]

This conversation was everything! Handled with so much care and love ♥️ thank you sis Thando for sharing. My parents got divorced when I was in high school and Yoh guys! It was a lot 😫 but we thank God for healing. If you are going through a divorce, don’t forget to also take your kids to counselling 🤗

[@sharonthemba8764]

Healing isn't linear, yet it is mind-blowing, rewarding, and liberating. I love that❤

[@karabomedupe9012]

What a beautiful episode. As a believer of Christ Jesus, I always knew deep down in my heart that the God I serve would not want me to be in the kind of marriage I was in. Its hard but definitely looking forward to what's coming my way plus looking forward to the healing and rebirth.

[@estermundjenge2420]

I'm so proud of how your sister emphasize on how we are sometimes warned but do not listen, most people skip that part. No one is ever happy to go through divorce, but being honest about it especially to oneself is the beginning of healing. Some don't heal because they're caught up in the blame game and always narrating on how they're innocent. Which doesn't even help them. I wish this gets to those who needs healing. 🙏

[@khanyacewu]

She looks just like Esi aww ❤❤❤

[@finance-talk]

I got a sense of what divorce feels like through Thando's explanation. It hit hard

[@lindelwamazwi4074]

Your daughter look like Thando ❤

[@asandaprecious6709]

Your mom has beautiful successful daughters ❤

[@Fentse_Adams]

Off topic but Esi looks exactly like her Mamkhulu 😍🥹

[@fumanemasilo1401]

Exactly 🥹🥹

[@bangibabs]

Our job as believers is to stand with those that are going through hard times. Not to judge or condemn but support as best as we can. In life you will be humbled if you think you are above tough times. Grace and fellowship is beautiful.❤

[@tondaniraluswinga2590]

You actually dont need to stand with someone Because you might actually not be equipped to handle those emotions. God himself says he is close to the brokenhearted, so Gods got all his children. Just because you are Christian don't mean you will always be able to handle certain situations. That's why therapy and all these other professional spaces are there for people going through it.

[@bangibabs]

@@tondaniraluswinga2590 standing in pray does not mean we carry anyone’s burdens. It is good to pray for people not because God does not already know others suffering but because he tells us to do so. Also just because we pray for others does not mean they must not go for therapy if they want to. Prayer does not limit the one who is praying for others or the ones that are being prayed for. I hope that makes sense.

[@kgomotsomaleme1320]

My 15 year old relationship ended and I left with 2 kids...I relate to your sister, in so many ways, you have no idea...I love the hug that God gave me during my time of healing. ..I also wish I could package my healing...I also live with so much excitement now... Finally I feel so alive I relate maan. God bless you sis 😘

[@yolisamrso9827]

I think those who seperate themselves from divorsees is due to insecurity. They don't trust themselves or their partners.

[@pulelady]

Sana I can personally relate with this instalment, you know there are no words to describe divorce, the pain that comes with it, rejection both spiritual and physical from people, loss, the force to start from scratch, new friends, finances etc and doing life alone, yho!!! but in all I thank Jesus that I made it through and to anyone that might be currently going through divorce please hold on.

[@motheowalerato701]

The doing life alone part🥺🥺

[@tumelomashego7306]

This is such a tough topic and it was addressed so well, with such delicacy and maturity. We are learning thank you for being open to take us through this journey. Thank you ladies ♥️

[@tintswalomohlala3359]

My single friends came through for me the most. The same friends I was told they would destroy my marriage. They helped me in my healing journey. Divorce is the worst worst worst The married people disconnected 😂😂😂😂😂 so weird but haike...

[@sfundo9760]

Sisi Buli you are doing the Lord's work and we thank God for you sisi. ❤Sis thank you for sharing your experience.

[@MlungisiNkosi]

Great conversation… I can’t wait to see the space that will be created for like-minded people. I think that’s a timely vision. Grow in your strength Thando.

[@denzhemabuli5449]

Your daughter looks like your sister... wishing her more healing❤❤‍🩹

[@thatorampai]

This is a much needed concept. A lot of friendships are lost because of marriage and divorce. I'm grateful that the church I go to has Divorce care for adults and kids. I think churches need to start adopting that idea because wow life happens hey.

[@ellemaela9268]

Nice one. The chat about support is so important. And it goes back to loving one another as we love ourselves. That remains regardless of where people find themselves. So the call to support (and possibly offer more support) remains; the call to love remains.

[@MissCombs1511]

Nibahle nonke kini 😍 I hope she grows past the pain of divorce, with God.

[@lesegosepotokele50]

this is very insightful, thank you for sharing with us. I have really learnt a lot from this conversation and will definitely do better moving forward

[@mpumeleloenhlemokwena6]

Im glad that Thando is here so that we can learn how to treat people who are Divorced, I for one, would never isolate myself from someone just because they are now not married . But i feel some people do it because they feel like they are taking sides between the two, but that also is an excuse if both partners can't reach out then one of them should. There's alot of societal ills we need to unlearn.

[@LondaniNdou]

I totally enjoyed this conversation and it was such an eye opener and I really adore the love that Buli has for her sister, her body language when she speaks, says it all.💞

[@kedibonemohale1802]

Going through divorce right now😢😢😢.... I really needed this conversation

[@MalindiN223]

Big big big 🫂🫂🫂🫂❤️

[@dineomoaisi6724]

❤

[@Mbalings]

Everything will work out in the long run sisi ❤

[@kedibonemohale1802]

Thank you... I pray so.... It all seems dark right now, so much uncertainty and the pain is relentless but we soldier on especially for the children. Thank you ladies❤️🙏

[@Modipadi]

🥺❤️

[@tshenolohlaheng3932]

Hey B 😊. Listen, I love how you both allowed God to use this experience publicly. I cant imagine how much of dying to self both you and Thando had to do to yield yourselves to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to get this message across (especially because she seems extremely reserved and private). Well done to you both❤ I could relate a lot (not as a married or divorced person) but rather a single/unmarried Christian. It's sad how Christianity idolizes marriage over God. We've used marriage as a means to qualify our Christianity and right standing with God. I've experienced a lot of married Christians belittling the God in me or my service in church for God because I'm single and or etc. It's honestly so heartwrenching that these communities have such an ignorant mindset that alludes one is less effective for the use of God if not married thus single/divorced people walking away from being of service (In church). There's just so much to unpack I wish there'd be more Platforms to address and confront the realities of church behavior for different groups within the body of Christ. Alles, well done again ladies and to Thando, may you forge forward keeping in mind that ALL THINGS ARE WORKING TOGETHER FOR YOUR GOOD. Love and light to your family ladies 💫

[@hdhdhdhdhdh3264]

Me i was separeted with my Husband & my family,Church &friends they Rejected me,,,and i was Chest out of Church.But i trust God of a second Chance🙏

[@ThezoekindofLife]

Marriage is a covenant just like a generational covenant that which is not so easy to break .This type of a covenant is bonded by God that’s why it is not easy to break it . I am really enjoying this conversation I’m on the front row seat ❤

[@shibendala6410]

Shuuuu what a beautiful Testimony from your sister we Bless GOD for bringing her this far I can feel her excitement and Her Joy in the Now and where she is which is Beautiful indeed GOD is able to turn our shame into good our Ashes into Beauty I rejoice with her,what stood out for me is how she mentioned how those single friends were there for her more than married ones GOD help us this doctrine of married people turning away singles or been told to only associate with married only GOD help us with his revelations to do right choose LOVE at all times weather married or single to choose right And choose those who are for you and let go of this titles.GOD bless you Buli enjoying your content

[@pearlmaseko8067]

Thoroughly enjoyed this as a divorcee. We generally don't talk about divorce as a society because divorced women in particular are shamed so we never share our journey.

[@DiseMalekutu]

So insightful, I’m happy that Thando found her healing. Thank you Buli for a sharing, this will help us support divorcees a whole lot better.

[@f.ikzz_]

I like how this conversation can be related to much more than divorce but we can relate it interms of just real life situations that unfortunately happen and as Christian we feel othered by the church instead of supported and guided so that we recover in a Christian way. I feel like that’s why we end up finding unhealthy mechanisms to cope and not looking to God for assistance because we might feel like we our fate is already determined and we aren’t worthy( personal point of view will differ from person to person). Beautiful beautiful conversation❤ thank you

[@MillenialKay]

I feel like this was so comforting for so many people. Wishing your sister a lifetime of health and happily ever agains and after🫂🫂

[@letangnaane5758]

Oh Buli 5 minutes in and somebody who is divorced, Thank you for the conversation. Thank you for the space. Thank you for being comfortable enough to to be uncomfortable for your sister. I don't know if you will ever understand how big this is, you have just acknowledged that divorce is still loomed as failure. Yoooo just thank you

[@BuliMakhubo]

❤️ thank you for watching. I thank God that it was a blessing for you

[@phumimthiyane289]

I believe that when there is less people around you, it's because God needs your attention. We need to be careful not to over analyse until the enemy plants a seed of bitterness towards people for not being there. Sometimes they dont know what to say or scared to say wrong things

[@BuliMakhubo]

I’m glad that , that’s your belief and your stance in life🤍. Unfortunately her real life experience differed from your belief or thoughts . She’s telling a real life story , not an assumption

[@kholofelopoopedi4436]

Thando is so beautiful ❤

[@roselineuiras8603]

This was powerful and eye opening. One thing about GOD HE is not from our village, and HE can do anything and use anyone for HIs glory.

[@shiraazmngwevu4680]

Wow! What an amazing story to share or should I say past experience thank you so much for sharing. You are one of the few strong women 👌🏼

[@gugulethumthimkhulu6480]

I definitely agree with Thando clarity on divorce . It reminded me of the scripture that God saves to the uttermost . God is always near even in divorce. Its definitely lack of doctrine in the church or within Christians.

[@letshegonqum8226]

We are so weird as people, I was watching a video you did with Lebo a while ago and you were discussing that when you get married, your single friends start being distant now again when you get divorced your married friends distance themselves from you...that is not right how we treat each other as people...wow!

[@nonkumonkoe]

This is a very important conversation to have, cause divorce is real and happening even in the church. Thank you ladies 😊

[@boipeloandsipho]

The Mazwi sisters 😍. You are both so gorgeous!! ❤️. What a necessary conversation. Thank you so much for these gems. This video taught me so much about how to support people who are going through this process. Thank you for your vulnerability. It’s beautiful to see biological sisters who have such a transparent relationship. ❤️

[@pabbymatlala]

Relatable content, someone once told me that I am going to lose a whole lot of people and I thought she's lying. Damn but we soldier on

[@alinahjeleni7048]

And I think it's for a good course, for a fresh start without hypocrites. And most importantly is that God's love is unconditional and perfect for all🫂🤌💞😍💯

[@Bazzooooka]

I’m here a year later and honestly I can safely say that Thando’s voice is needed. We need more content like this sis

[@thembinxitywa9754]

Your sister is beautiful and I enjoyed this conversation ❤🙏.

[@thembekampati6898]

Not me almost skipping the ad because I am interested in the conversation. I realize ba this is Buli❤ I've seen Thando somewhere, a friend of a friend. I knew there was something special about her # authenticity ❤every time she attended a friend of a friend, mcimbi. I will come back home and tell my sister that I loved this lady.

[@LefenyoEveryday]

Your sister is so pretty Buli. Such a heartfelt session ❤

[@bobogona]

What an interesting topic,can I just say Buli and your sister you both look beautiful and look alike,unfortunately such happens even to people who have lost their husbands or wives.

[@kwandaphotography3752]

Man this topic was everything. Addressing such critical issues. Thank you for your wisdom ladies.

[@swazivilakazi1567]

"If 1 more shot means me being alive but dead inside, then count me out" ... I felt that. Thanks so much for the installment. Please post Thando's contacts and event details

[@thandiwejali8934]

Yho! A split image of Esi straight-forward,i'm not sure why I had to convince people that mayeee,this is Esi's aunt the way bafana ngakhona even before hearing her intro.

[@NtandoMHope]

I commend Thando for the bravery of sharing such a personal element of her life, and the both of you for the delicacy in your mutual approach to the topic. We watched Thando look for her words throughout - & God came through. 🙏🏾❤️ It was, in equal measure, fun(ny) to try guess who's speaking because you guys sound the same & a number of your mannerisms evidently come from her. 💕

[@delightnomfundo]

I think baby Esi ufana na Ma'mkhulu wakhe 🧡.. What an insightful conversation.

[@preciousmogashoa7602]

She's so gorgeous. Modimo 😍😍❤️❤️

[@bobogona]

Another topic that is not talked about is the toxicity of bazalwane,Thando is right some christians shame others abd very judgemental.

[@biancatshambu3728]

She looks exactly like your daughter, ehhhhhhh I see Esi here. So beautiful though❤❤❤❤❤

[@samukelisiwengxongo134]

Can we speak about how Thando and Esinakho look so much alike❤ beautiful conversation. The questions you ask Buli❤all of your sessions leave me so fulfilled 😊

[@Ha-bhibi]

Thank you for this conversation. May God help us as Christians to be there for each in all seasons of life in meaningful ways.

[@kamo..]

😍😍Wow she’s so pretty

[@TheonaMangubila]

Too pretty 😢❤

[@Mgunicarol]

Very Yooh 😍😍😍

[@thobekamantshongo4458]

This is a beautiful conversation that you guys are having.

[@grannymamohube3303]

Divorce is not contagious ppl I wix ppl can learn from this... I am not married n having friends dat are married is difficult. God loves us all we're all his...

[@I.t.u.m.e.l.e.n.g]

Thank you for sharing such a “confidential” experience - if it was a friend or stranger it would have been meaningful and that but when it’s family it is so personal .Thank you Thando. Thank you Buli 🙌🏿

[@ChoppingLifewithMJay]

On a more serious note i needed this. i lived with my ex for two years and we have a little girl. during my pregnancy i was all alone yet i had a man in my life, i had no one to share my pains with and my fears on days when i didn't feel like myself. I dealt with infidelity's and lies and relationshiping with a narcissist. two weeks after our separation this man was sharing pictures of his wedding and yet has never sent a msg to check up on his daughter so i know how hurting, fighting, giving up and healing feel.

[@thandomazwi337]

Firstly I am sorry that you went through that. Secondly,God really heal you and restore everything that you lost in this season. ❤

[@HerHighness160]

Wow you have a beautiful sister❤❤❤ I see the resemblance, you should feature her more often, I enjoyed seeing you two together🥹

[@phutiphooko7555]

This is so true such a eye opening conversation.I experienced the same emotions haven’t been able to fill articulate the pain the church caused during that period.

[@nomthandazomsimango5206]

As Christians we are not equipped to deal with divorce. It is not on

[@elanaywimmerth5084]

Loved every moment of this, but I know she has sooooo much more to share and so much more wisdom❤

[@ellemaela9268]

I can't believe how much you ladies look alike. She totally lookd like yout mom. Nibahle kanjani Buli.

[@siphosethumanqoba8213]

😂😂😂i also love your sister 😅 she's real and honest. . ❤❤

[@noncebarasmeni6758]

The really enjoyed this conversation. I love how you handle conversation! Very proud of you both ladies! Enkosi kakhulu

[@reabetsoelehumo7721]

Informative content , I love the topics you touch keep the good work . Also your sis looks so much like your beautiful daughter 😊

[@simplykatm]

Yhoo sis this is a delicate topic and honestly we still have a long way to go as a church and Christians. Yhoo you guys are so beautiful 😍 uThando ufana noEsi.

[@RealTalkWithNthabi]

Embrace it & feel every emotion 🙌🏾 Thank you for sharing this with us .

[@sanelemjoli4877]

Hey Thando. May God heal and restore you sis. Much love

[@mongwaitshephangkekana4876]

Goodness! That was too good. Got awareness of the reform that needs to happen within the church and really just the change in how we perceive divorced women. Really appreciate her testimony!

[@mmamolemomodisadife2726]

I can't help but point out how much your daughter looks like your sister. 😮 It's almost like an 'aha' moment. 😅

[@ditebohoitumelengmolefe675]

I believe that most people who become distant in the face of someone's crisis do it not so much to 'run away from the virus' but do it for lack of not knowing how to support. Or not having the courage to face a tough situation. Yes, it doesn't make the distancing right, however I believe it's worthy to highlight this as a possible reason. This exposes how we may lack the tools or the bravery to carry one another's burdens.

[@rukamwi]

But friends must be open and honest with each other. I have asked friends who’ve lost their parents or gone through traumatic experiences/breakups how best I can show up for them-considering that we are in different countries. Sometimes I’ve been asked the same question as well. We can’t just be abandoning each other 🥺It’s not on, at all.

[@BuliMakhubo]

This is spot on 👌🏾

[@ithaselebalo]

This was a great episode. wishing your sister all the joy ❤

[@buyisiwembatha6698]

Thando is such a beauty and she looks like ESI😍.....love how God is in it all .....

[@Reset_With_Louisa]

Bathong I love Thando, she is soo calm😘🥰also she looks so much like your daughter Buli

[@chockbrown1]

Wow I really enjoyed this segment, I hope we learn from such conversations and be better Christians and friends ❤️

[@venessamaluleke222]

Yoh Esi's original copy. Such a beauty