THE TRUTH ABOUT MY ED RECOVERY | 4 YEARS LATER . . .

[@lauraoe3974]

I don’t know why but i remember watching a video of yours from cambridge and you used water to fry something and i was just so utterly baffled that you avoided oil like its poison. Just very memorable to me, keep the good work up

[@sbp5433]

I also remember her making a video about oils and how they’re bad, and why she didn’t use them. It seemed to me like she ignored all the positive things about good fats, and put only the negative ones in that video. It was obviously the ED speaking. ED can be a bitch and I’m so glad that Holly is doing better now. ❤️

[@circlinq]

Nobody ever talks about how if you used to count calories, you quite literally can't look at food without automatically knowing the calories anymore. The calorie tracking app turned into my brain. Thank you for sharing your story with us 💕 I really relate to not wanting anyone around you to see your body in any form whatsoever. I grew up with a father who likes to comment on women's bodies and I think that got very stuck in my head. People's words can be powerful. We need to be more mindful with what we're saying ❤

[@charlottepickford5874]

Hi! I’m also in recovery and my ED was very much surrounded by calorie counting so I’m in a similar situation to you where a lot of food I eat, I know the calories. Some things I’m trying to do to get out of it, I’m trying to eat new foods/snacks that I don’t know the calories of and also if I’m cooking something, I put a post it note on the nutrient section. I’ve stopped looking at calories for about three years now and some of the numbers have gone from my memory so I have hope that in five years time, I won’t remember any numbers. Though although I’ve stopped calorie counting, I haven’t recovered but I keep going x

[@momentmemos]

To everyone who is recovering: it will take time and there may be relapses even after a long time - I had a short relapse because of a stressful life situation even though I thought I had recovered years ago. But remember that recovery IS possible. Just keep going!

[@khadijafayyaz6184]

💜❤❤ thank you for the beautiful words

[@HollyGabrielle]

i agree, i agree 😌💚

[@martasgreatlibrary]

i can relate a lot to some things you said, specially to feeling bad for not exercising... i've now been working to get better mentally for a month, and try hard to get my period back and this might be tmi but this morning i had a bit of discharge and i felt super happy bc this means that my body slowly recovering!!

[@heathermahoney8910]

I've been in ed recovery for 7 months and all I can say is being physically recovered is not even half of the journey. My mental health is still a massive problem and most days are a challenge. But for anyone out there going through the same thing, I believe in you and recovery is tough but its worth all the happiness you deserve x 💚

[@cheche2174]

You will get there 💚🌸

[@deepikamankotia6902]

Someone is fat someone is skinny someone is some where in the middle....but do you know what everyone is unique and there is no one like you.....embrace yourself and be happy always....I am a person who has gone through something similar and have realised this overtime....being happy in every situation is what life teaches us....😊😊😊💚💚🤘🤘

[@drinkwateronce]

youtube gave me an “arm slimming procedure” ad for this video😂 im still going through my ed recovery and seeing my body change is really discouraging. but i want to recover!!💚 life with ed is so miserable.

[@dhils8546]

Really appreciate your honesty and bravery Holly. I hope you know how much this video means to many, like myself. Wish you nothing but the best, as always 🥰

[@rosiewashere6195]

Holly you should be so proud of yourself! As someone with an active ed these videos are so informative and they have such a positive impact especially for people like myself, so thankyou!

[@Claire_capricorn97]

Thank you so much for opening up, you are really brave ! I completely relate to the "ruined vacation because of unhealthy body image and feeling like everyone in my family is judging the way I look". It is slowly changing. I have been diving into self-love, self-acceptance, understanding myself etc lately. You are one of the great youtubers I watch who help me understand some things 💚. I would also recommend watching Hitomi Mochizuki and Maddie Dragsbaek who talk about other topics or from a different perspective ❤❤ I'm sure there are many others I don't know, if anyone has suggestions I will be very happy to watch them !! Thank youuu 🙌🏻💚

[@Joana-iy1uy]

I’m so sorry u had to go through this and that so many people do, it really saddens me that we, specially as women, are put through things like this. Anyway, I’m really happy u have recovered and that u are talking about this. We love u holly💚💚

[@priiiiii1]

I am very sensitive towards this topic so I would have to skip this one but still commenting to support Holly❤❤

[@cheche2174]

Sending lots of love x

[@cheche2174]

💚💚💚 lovely! Proud of you sunshine x

[@sarahc4004]

It takes so much bravery and humility to not only bare these truths to yourself, but to generously share them with others and to reevaluate your own past words. Keep kicking butt, girl. You're a light in this world.

[@nicoka484]

Holly, I want to start by saying I'm so glad you're having these revelations and genuinely recovering now. I have watched your videos for a long time, probably since about 2018, but about 6 months - 1 year ago I made myself stop watching them because I was (am still am) in ED recovery myself and they were triggering for me. This is not because you were bad or your content was bad or you were promoting bad things necessarily, it was just because my disordered mind could see a lot of the decisions and trains of thought you were having that were also disordered (some of them may not have been conscious) and really tried to take me back there. Seeing videos like these now pop up every so often on my homepage is so refreshing and so relieving I'm just so glad that you're a) getting better yourself and b) sharing the message of recovery with other people. I hope this doesn't come off as mean or hurtful, I'm truly happy to see you getting better xx

[@trixiepanatti-reeve4200]

Thank you So much for making this video! I was also at a point of 'quasi-recovery' a few years ago and I had convinced myself I was recovered or would just have to put up with the disordered thoughts for the rest of my life. Your story gives me so much hope for my recovery and my future

[@abbiecarroll8929]

💚 needed to hear some of this more than i knew!

[@ninjastellar]

Thank you for speaking up about this. It is such a vulnerable topic. In that sense, being able to speak openly about it is, in my opinion, a mark of looking straight into the eyes of your ED. When it was happening to me, I didn't even label it as an issue. I didn't know what was going on. Now I do and, you bet I'll talk about it with whomever asks. It's such a common problem, even in the world of sport and academia. EDs follow where stress goes. I am a physio. When people with physical injuries come in, nobody goes "I really don't know what's wrong with you. I don't know why is this taking so long." In the same way, when we get mental "wounds" and we have them for weeks, months or years since we keep opening them up, they end up being even more complicated to understand. If something becomes a norm or habitual behaviour, our brain LITERALLY changes morphologically due to neuroplasticity. The good news? It can be rewired, but only if we are stubborn and willing enough to change it up. To do that, understanding that it's going to be messy is a major thing. Recovery isn't black and white. For any type of injury really. Talking about this is already more than half of the job done. It's not "childish behaviour", "a phase", "an act of spite" or "being spoiled". It breaks my heart to see what have eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression etc done to people. It's hell. We've lost the idea of what it means to just live while at peace with our bodies. EDs have been present since the ancient civilizations. We are literally fighting a centuries old enemy. So the next time somebody tries to shame anyone of you with these issues, I say let them. Let them show you their true face. You will be surprised how many of them have an inner child inside of them that is crying out for help. Do not judge them. Understand that their words are their own cries for help and coming from an impulse, not rationale. 💚

[@kimtaeyeonismyeverything]

I drop almost EVERYTHING when u post🏃‍♀️💖

[@undeadrose3877]

Thank you for sharing your story honestly! I’m so happy you’ve come so far and honestly you’ve always been a massive inspiration to me for recovery I’m diabetic so my whole life is about numbers, Carb and calorie counting as well as keeping my blood sugars low- the correlation between being diabetic and having an ED is so scary.

[@lavendermeadow1381]

Thanks for sharing your story with us!! *You've come such a long way!!* 💚

[@Phd366]

Thanks for sharing, Holly! You are super strong and I am glad you have been able to find your path back to feeling happy in your own skin. 🤗🥰

[@wikaliab9867]

Yes please make a video on how to put on weight and accept it.... I'm struggling with anorexia/orthorexia and it would be so helpful...!

[@manuuu8531]

Holly happy recovery and you are glowing!

[@ninamaurer4140]

thank you so much for sharing this x im just coming out of my ED and am finding it super hard! but u are such an inspiration. truly thank you.

[@agnestheresegarcia2025]

Hi holly from the philippines!! It ia 11 o clock here hehe.. i have notwatched your vids in a few weeks to more than a month because of school work haha.. it is good to see you okay... i hope that you are better especially in your masters degree... me too, im struggling rn from emotional pain and stress in my life.. food, body image, and mental health was a deal foe me aswell.. until know im still trying to heal.. but i know that you will recover holly, you have your family, friends, fans and many more to support you... i hope that you have a good future holly!! We lav ya! 🥰😇🤗💜🙏

[@louisehainey3525]

I can relate to sooo much of this, Holly. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story; I hope you continue to gain strength and shine 💚

[@cw9452]

Hi Holly I just wanted to say full recovery is possible and it is possible to not have these thoughts. Keep working hard at it. Lots of love.

[@hazelnawood]

You're so brave for sharing this to us. We love you, Holly ❤

[@jennieward1]

Very brave of you to discuss this Holly. I’m sure it will help alot of people x

[@jadelauren2269]

thank you for being honest, wishing you all the best for the future x

[@momentmemos]

Holly, I’m loving your videos more and more. Thank you for this video, it maybe brought a tear in my eye :,) I’m just a random gal on the Internet but I’m proud of you

[@ellaroberts2336]

💚 so great to see you more positive and open xxx 💕

[@anjalichoudhary4253]

U are very inspirational Holly.... Every one have some problems in their life... It's upon us how we squeeze out positivity from all of them. More power to you👍👍👍

[@petra20216]

Thank you for being so honest and open up about this topic. Such a great video, as always :)

[@tsang29tsang33]

I've just started my recovery, thanks Holly for your video! It really helps🙆🏻‍♀️♡

[@carlt5013]

So proud of you!!

[@yugnayak2272]

Love from India🇮🇳❤️

[@Anubhav.617]

Me too

[@sowmya25]

Yay

[@daodaoluo1862]

Thank you, Holly. You are just brave and amazing! It takes a lot of courage to go through and share these things. This video brings a lot of my memories back. I was there, somehow I'm still there. This video definitely encourages me a lot. Thank you! 💚 💚 💚

[@emmarocheteau5788]

The voice gets quieter and quieter and actually it does eventually go away (apart from in the face of triggers e.g. visiting my grandparents house). Full untainted recovery is possible and achievable. It takes lots and lots of time though

[@davidthescottishvegan]

Thanks for your honesty Holly regards your recovery from a ED and your honesty and bravery makes you more loveable. Have a lovely weekend and your viewers and subscribers love 🥰💕❤ you.

[@muneezahamid5142]

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sure it will help a lot of us Love and power to you 💚

[@caitlinlomas]

Accepting and acknowledging the insanity that is your ED voice is so crucial in recovery. I don’t think I’ll ever consider my self recovered because I need to make conscious decisions every day to do the uncomfortable thing, it just gets easier to do it. Protecting your recovery by being honest with yourself and others when things are hard, and also when you’re proud is such an important part of the journey. Massive well done to you for being brave to post this. Must have been really tough and scary to do so! After having 18m of intensive AN treatment, facing your fears daily does get easier. Find comfort in knowing that every time you make the uncomfortable choice that goes against what that stupid voice is telling you, you’re taking one step closer to freedom. Congrats on taking another step!!

[@kritikajain7045]

Can you have some milkshake please? Or some oil? Or some food that isn't always the most nutritious?

[@Leilahannoun]

You’re amazing holly ❤️❤️❤️

[@KiraPepper]

The biggest thing when recovering from any anxiety is realising that NO ONE CARES. and by that i mean, no one is paying as much attention to you, as you think they are. That person on the university campus isnt looking at you, your family arent paying attention to your body, no one is watching you. When i realised that and really started actually telling myself that i dont care what others think, i began to recover! Now my social anxiety is very tame and i can go outside or walk around campus without being on high alert the entire time.

[@someonee5084]

Thank you so much for sharing this, because I can relate to it so much and it makes me feel less alone if that makes any sense😅

[@sammiiROCKyourWORLD]

I love that I found this video! I used to watch your content, but was a lil triggered by your eating habits but it was your australia trip where had to stop watching. I live in Australia and seeing on your socials you suffering in our heat on top of your eating habits really hurt. I hope you're doing good now and I'm wishing you all the best 💕💕💕

[@polinkamalinka7343]

Thank you for sharing 💚💚💚

[@inehmatsandhu]

Love you Holly ❤️

[@crackheadstuff6474]

U r very strong to share all that, respect

[@sunshinegrace8126]

Holly how did you stop comaring yourself with your sis esp in terms of eating or did u ever comapre the way how you eat i mean the portion size n stuffs lyk that... And i am also wandrng did u ever feek sour when u eat more than others.???And if so how did u overcome it?? Thank you holly your videos helped me a loootttt....thanks hollly💚💚💚

[@AsenathWaiteDerby]

I'm a hiker and I still think that I have too much muscle in my legs and I hate it, but on the other hand I think that without that muscle I couldn't reach a single summit

[@bhavyatachavda9840]

You inspire me a lot❤️

[@methuli4980]

Omg! I'm so early tdy! (Proud of me tho😂) Thank you sm for sharing this w us Holly! Thank you sssssmmmmmm!!!!!!! ❤️❤️ Luv ya loads! Stay safe! Bye for now Luvfrom SL ❤️

[@mmb3006]

Having a bad body image really sucks I'm a dude and can relate to the beach story I'm skinny not dangerous skinny just skinny overall and my family constantly flames me for it so the last time I went on a vacation it was hard being on the beach in swim shorts and just feeling like everyone were judging me I've tried getting weight like eating double the portions of everything and a week in I just felt so sick from eating that much not mentally but physically so i couldn't gain weight also expiriences from the past like my dad trying to force me into body building sister's judging me whenever I worked out etc

[@Trainerlife8805]

Thank you for sharing this helpful information!very relatable!

[@ellie-wv4hl]

Recovery isn't linear, keep at it and look after yourself 💖

[@kevincorcoran7632]

You have truly become a warrior and a conqueror Holly!!!👍👏👏👏🌞 Your vulnerability and honesty so add to showing your courage and inner strength. If I close my eyes I can see you doing one of your little dances while singing....."I am Holly...I am strong... I am confident and content with who I am" !!!!!! Stay strong, stay happy and stay safe as you continue your journey to the stars!🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟out

[@esterangladaserra2581]

💚💚💚

[@kamya_29]

Holly a video on how to pay attention in online classes

[@friedagerhardt]

💚

[@emsdead4456]

💚💚💚💚💚 love u Holly

[@hannahrobin7449]

I don't think I'll ever recover from BED. Had it for at least 12 years and can't get help from mental health services.

[@neurodivergentdawn]

This has inspired me.

[@unknownuser-ee7xh]

2021 has been valentine. If you don't know, holly used to talk about personal stuffs online on valentine. Happy valentine to 2021😂

[@A.y2k]

Culture diet sucks ... glad you open and share your journey keep fighting always for your health don’t let your idea about the perfect body ruin it . Also why do you keep the what I eat in a day videos uploaded when you were struggling? Isn’t it a bit dangerous for people suffering ED to watch those?

[@FreyaD]

As a long time subscriber I'm so proud of you! Sending vegan love 💚🌱💚

[@nithya2015]

Can anybody tell me what is an ED...is it like a condition.. Sorry i dont know

[@nikhilshrestha1348]

💚💚

[@kevincorcoran7632]

Holly's loving message to any and all of us who are, who have or who might face personal demons is that WE ARE NOT ALONE!!! GET STRONG, BE STRONG and STAY STRONG EVERYONE and DON'T EVER GIVE UP!!! 💖💞💖

[@evak5890]

we're so alike！！

[@Thepeachespink]

You have grown sooo much holly Lots of love to you💚💚💚

[@Arcticninja123]

recovery from veganism takes a good few months of good eating.

[@bethandlouis]

❤️❤️

[@Arnasleaf]

💚💚💚💚

[@elbaghdadi1983]

can we be friends

[@TasTheBlue54]

Just seek therapy, this video is a literal roller coster.

[@sarahfarmer5074]

holly anyone who cares what you look like dosent matter anyone who matters dosent care

[@vitugglichiellem.4844]

Hi

[@satyavivekanandbattula1091]

Early on today 😊. Wow 😃

[@Pingucado]

"there is always alot of banging going on in the back of my videos."......👀

[@whorhythmic]

damn I knew it

[@paulinag]

Oh my god, I have been thinking and still think that you have a body to die for! Of course such thoughts came together with crazy ones like "I wish my own body was as good as Holly's", but it's really the truth that we have no idea what other people feel

[@slickjumpedoverthelazydog]

Good video

[@myeducation8291]

Hello mam can you get me job I want to work with you I need a job please please provide any type job like freelancing, please please reply

[@allisonlacey9964]

💚💚💚💕🇦🇺

[@noahatlas5240]

You don't realize how small and suffocating anorexia makes your life until you escape it

[@vitugglichiellem.4844]

Im early again

[@Kitsunekochan971]

Third view!!

[@kamya_29]

Holly a video on how to pay attention in online classes

[@samujessiestudyvlog]

💚

[@BundiRiska]

💚💚💚

[@violalyu3438]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@aditi3409]

💚💚💚💚

[@kamya_29]

Holly a video on how to pay attention in online classes

[@67josie12]

💚

[@skembow]

💚

[@liquid_c0urage]

💚

[@hgcd4378]

💚