The Truth About My Sexuality - Am I Demisexual?

What is a Demisexual? Sweet Anita discusses her sexuality.
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Video Description:
In this video, Sweet Anita talks about being demisexual and explains how her sexuality effects her relationships and attraction to others.
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[@SweetAnita]

Hey guys! I decided to make this video after people started calling me out for complimenting the gas man's appearance in a previous video. I thought I would help answer some questions So that people can understand a little better. So here are some quick answers to the commonly asked questions. ---------------------------------------------------------------- But you thought the gas man was hot? ---------------------------------------------------------------- Demisexuals still grow up with the same movies, adverts, and culture that all of you do. We see and understand what qualifies as beautiful by conventional standards. I admire human beauty. It just doesn't arouse me or apply to my sense of attraction. I was not attracted to the gas man because he was pretty. He knew how to interact with my animals well, was softly spoken and seemed kind. This is what made me want to know him better, but not sleep with him. I still didn't know whether sexual feelings would come yet, as that takes time for most Demisexuals. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Isn't Demisexuality this just normal for women? A label seems excessive. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Actually women are known to feel physical attraction, even to strangers, and based purely on appearance too. We are all sexually diverse, and this doesn't apply to all women, but it is very common and widely accepted as the norm to be superficially attracted to other people without an emotional connection. Although some people prefer a connection before they have sex, it is not 100% essential for most women. The female fan base for Brad Pitt, Justin Bieber, and many other beautiful celebrities demonstrate this. Women make porn, produce lewd fan art, and are a huge part of the market for sexual content. Many women grow up with celebrity crushes, consuming pornography, and having sexual fantasies about people they do not know. Growing up without these feelings can be odd when the women around you are feeling and expressing sexual attraction to strangers. Having a label can add context, help us to feel normal, and connect with others like us, and help each other navigate the difficulties of being Demisexual in a very sexual world. I have found it useful to have a name for the feeling. ------------------------------------------------------------------ So in order to date Demis I just have to be their friend for a year and they'll fall in love with me.......right? ------------------------------------------------------------------ NOPE. Just because we need an emotional connection to develop feelings of attraction, doesn't mean that we'll sleep with anyone who plays the long game. Friendship does not always lead to a romantic connection. In the same way that being a heterosexual man doesn't mean that you'll sleep with ANY female humans. One of the hardest things I navigate is friends who are attracted to me thinking that I'll date them if we are friends for long enough. And this means I have a lot of ex friends who gave up after realizing that I was never going to be with them. It's sad, it hurts my trust in friendships, but I still give people the benefit of the doubt and making new friends regardless. I would say that being upfront about your intentions is better. I would prefer a friend who says "I'm attracted to you, if you ever realize you feel the same way down the line let me know. I know Demisexuals take a while to figure that part out. If that never happens I hope you know my friendship is still there, and not dependent on the possibility of a relationship." This is preferable over the people who claim that they are not attracted to me and then get angry/hurt when I don't spontaneously fall in love with them down the line. I don't speak for all Demisexuals when I talk about people approaching me, so if you are demisexual I would love to know how you would prefer to be approached in the comments section too. This may help a lot of people connect with us down the line! I hope that helps, and that you enjoy the video!

[@furkan10ky]

Can I ask you how many ticks you have had while writing this. I’m sorry that I didn’t read this comment, but just wanted to ask a question.

[@mpeugeot]

I'm just here for your thirsty mom's email address... ;)

[@tiagotiagot]

I think you forgot to pin this comment

[@kevinbuyks6788]

The first thing I want to say to you is THANK YOU. I didn't know what a demidexual was but while reading your personal explanation I saw a lot of similalities of how I feel. When I was a teenager most of my friends already had a lot of different boyfriends/girlfriends but I didn't. They picked their boyfriends/girlfriends solely by if they would look attractive & where fun thang out with, it didn't matter if they just met or not & didn't know much about them. I thought that was really strange because I believed that you can't love someone if you barely know anything them. I needed to know a girl for a long time before I would develop romantic feelings for them, getting to know their past, interests etc & I still do. A lot of times that resulted in that the girl would come to see me as "the friend" while I was getting to know better, developing a emotional bond with her. It hasn't become easier in the last couple years too because the majority of the people are using dating apps to find a relationships & not in person when they meet someone while going out. I'm pretty happy most of the time but from time to time I feel lonely & get a little depressed because I'm alone. Knowing that I'm not the only one who got the same thing will be a huge diffence for me though & you helped me a lot. So once again, THANK YOU.

[@yourWORSTenemy67]

Jesus I’m glad you posted something about this or idk if I would’ve actually understood fully what I’ve been going through. I’m 23 now and never could figure out why I can’t just hook up with somebody. We’d click and I’d have the opportunity to take her home but I wouldn’t because I know I wouldn’t get it up lol. It would have nothing to do with what she looked like but 100% to do with who she was as a human being. I like being around a girl just to get to know them and then maybe after some time it can move in a different direction but like you said, it’s hard and embarrassing having to explain that to somebody who just wants to hook up. You posting this video lifted a bunch of weight off my shoulders. Thank you..

[@f1zzyb33]

I don’t get the whole “you complimented him therefore you aren’t Demi” thing, like straight people compliment the same sex all the time but that doesn’t mean that they’re gay, they’re straight not blind. You can see someone has beautiful traits and still not be sexually attracted to them.

[@kitchensinkchronicles3272]

Fizzy Bee exactly!!

[@LordVader1094]

@Hara Isbara Exactly that. Same shit gets applied to bi people. You're either straight or gay in people's eyes depending on who you're dating.

[@SliderFury1]

Fucking THANK YOU I'm as straight as they come, my wife can attest, but Brad Pitt takes off his shirt in Fight Club and I'm like GODDAMN THAT MAN IS GORGEOUS 🤣

[@Cybeldar]

@@SliderFury1 i am happily married straight man, but Bradley Cooper makes me ?.

[@zeddmysterYT]

@@LordVader1094 exactly

[@EricWZ]

"Thats a human in the bathtub" No, thats a witcher in the bathtub lol.

[@Sheriff_K]

Ah, a person of culture.

[@A_Helix_A]

That's a sexy Witcher in the bathtub*

[@aegonthedragon6341]

That's a GAMER in the bathtub*

[@lethallegend9883]

Super man in the bathtub

[@icealchemist250]

That's a Man of Steel in the bathtub, let's hope he doesn't sink

[@drumslayer27]

"not being sexual was a problem because I was raised with a step sister" I see where this is going...

[@maxmattt]

What are you doing, step sis?

[@sleep3315]

Maxmatt more like "what ar- *pop* wha- *brrr* what are you 𝙵𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘u doing step *pop* step sis

[@callmeenzy5715]

Im stuck step bro

[@jaessoul]

hoydoy hotdog NOOO LMAOO

[@mattthemetalguitarist]

@@maxmattt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@dragontruth3701]

"That's a human in a bathtub" is such an ace mood

[@grey8288]

I've had so many moments like these that makes modern me wonder how younger me was still convinced I was into men.

[@caitlinkar]

Mood

[@Sinke_100]

It's freedom

[@BastardOfTheNorth]

@@grey8288 You found them aesthetically pleasing?

[@rexlyonsCPW]

My fiancée is demisexual, we started off as friends.

[@Scadaboy]

Right on. Kinda how normal people acted for centuries. 👍

[@TimDyck]

You’ve found someone that will be loyal forever so pay it back by being loyal forever. I hope you have as great of a marriage as m6 wife and I have had for the last 31 years.

[@ericmartinez99]

This is the only sexuality where the friend zone is a good thing.

[@RMLLcrazy]

The friendzone is a good thing for everyone. I mean... you get a friend. If you want to be more than friends just say so, and if they don't want to they'll say that and then you can either stay friends or not. That's about it. But the friend zone being bad is just silly. It's only for people that don't have the balls to confess their feelings in a truthful and honest manner... or people that can't accept a negative answer after they do.

[@Emi-xg7pk]

@@RMLLcrazy Um, I don't know about you, but the friendzone is mainly comprised of people who HAVE expressed their feelings. Maybe you've been friendzoning people or haven't been friend-zoned, but mainly the reason people stay in the friendzone is that the people they confessed to were very close friends, rarely will you see a person that's trying to get another person at the bar or something get friend-zoned, because they have no need to keep the relationship going, which is different for close friends. You sitting there not knowing what you're talking about is just silly.

[@thighsarehot7151]

Deadass

[@dhinkakmed]

This is why im straight up honest with all my friends. Because I want to sleep with all my friends. Almost none of them actually sleep with me. But its cool. And there's no grey area. They know, and I know that they know. So I don't push it and just continue being friends.

[@tyleralthouse6193]

Faxxxxx

[@danielacti]

I really thought the "My mum is thirsty af" was a tic until it wasn't

[@adrnai.]

I love watching her content, she'll always get you thinking and you'll always wonder

[@UnKnown-rd8gq]

Maybe her mom and sister being thirsty. Seeing that grow up had changed her outlook on dating. She literally explains what we all should be doing. Taking making live more seriosly because creating life is a gift. Its disrespected by just having it with anyone.

[@AdamSmith-de5oh]

@@UnKnown-rd8gq wait what? She has a sister? She's never mentioned her

[@cheekibreekiivdamked8439]

Yeah, her stepsister got stuck...

[@alexcatlow]

when you say he was blurry, then he became clear... when you started dated this guy... was this guy your optometrist?

[@AlexBaka_]

thanks dad

[@C-SD]

That's hilarious. 😂

[@PGOuma]

Hi dad 👋🏼

[@lilywhite3569]

*screams*

[@arabellahernandez8682]

OH SHIT I JUST LIKED IT AND ITS THE 420th LIKE YALL 💀

[@ibok3663]

i love how terrance just casually flips us off every couple of minutes

[@matrixvalnar]

I loved that there was a hint of terrence which she successfully drowned out xD "i am attracted to weird things, like the shape of an 'assh' Adams apple!" Terrence, you are a gem. But let her speak xD

[@jasonrandall4858]

Who is Terrance

[@krisqz]

@@jasonrandall4858 Terrance Tourette. It's her Mr. Hyde.

[@DinosaurNick]

@@jasonrandall4858 Terrance is the name she gave her Tourette's tics

[@childofgod759]

I’m asexual and aromantic and I always fel there was something wrong with me lolol Ily Anita for bringing more awareness to Demisexuality :)

[@navi6962]

Idk if this is rude but how do you do it not wanting a relationship like what does it feel like I think it’s pretty crazy cause I’m not asexual but I just wonder like how yk

[@childofgod759]

@@navi6962 idk I'm just not attracted to anyone

[@navi6962]

@@childofgod759 woah that’s crazy man

[@childofgod759]

@@navi6962 yeah broski I've never thought someone was sexy a day in my life

[@navi6962]

@@childofgod759 LMAO not even shrek 😔☝🏻

[@smoretwink555]

"It's like watching people dance without the music." Man, I really connected with that.

[@guillermojrboy3292]

She's pretty spot on when it comes to metaphors.

[@Matt-zp1jn]

The thing I like about Sweet Anita is that she has a great sense of humour. The sarcasm and how she explained being in a classroom was 😂

[@michaelolsson5193]

I was in one of your streams when you talked about being Demi, and that was when I learned about it. And why I was the way I am. So thank you for that Anita. But it's really hard, especially living in a small town. It's like you're friends with a girl and 2 years later, BAM. Here have some feelings for your friend.

[@justanotherweirdo11]

It's been pretty inconvenient for me because I have to worry about my feelings ruining my friendship.

[@Hyperkooki]

@@justanotherweirdo11 haha yeah! now you hav to learn what we all learn: controlling feelings of sexual attraction. don't forget about consent

[@avajayne8998]

She’s so amazing at explaining things. I had no idea what demisexual was and I feel like she explained it so well

[@stargazingcomfy]

I don't like labels, but I'm grateful to know that I'm Demi. I grew up thinking I was weird and I tried to hide it until now. Thank you, Anita ❤️

[@yadsewnde]

Same

[@Jharrisimages]

Same, I'm demisexual to the point of asexuality. The last relationship I was in, back in 2010, ended horribly. My fiancee cheated on me for the last year of our 4 year relationship because I was in the Navy and deployed. A lot of my closest friends sided with her after the breakup and it was a huge blow to my mental stability and confidence, to the point where I haven't trusted anyone enough to be intimate with them for the last 10 years. At this point I just tell people I'm asexual because it brings up less questions than saying I'm demisexual with trust issues.

[@Harkz0r]

It's no consolation, but I choose to believe there's a special place in hell waiting for people like that. I don't side with cheaters no matter what narrative they spin, some lines are not meant to be crossed. Sorry it happened to you. Haven't been through stuff nearly as bad as that, but I can relate on the trust issues front. Shit, I barely trust myself at times.

[@tumbledortrickster6504]

I get that, I mean my ex and I were together for a while and it ended extremely messy and I was depressed for a year. I kind of tried to be a "man hoe" for a while, and being an ex male cheerleader and someone who is pretty into fitness I had a lot of friends and people I met who I tried to hook up with/ start hanging out with thinking of dating but for a year of it, I felt pretty numb even with extremely attractive people and just gave up because I would feel so off after just forcing myself to hook up with someone because it was a "normal" thing to do. I didn't think of it as a different sexuality or anything I just thought I made myself extremely emotionally guarded... idk now I am thinking a lot

[@DaydreamNull103]

I screwed up my last relationship because I ended up falling in love with my best friend. I never cheated on my bf, because I know how it feels to be cheated on. And in the relationship I prided myself on always being 100% honest and transparent. I told my bf that I had developed feelings for my best friend but told him I still loved him. He left me shortly after that, despite my pleads and promises that I'd never hurt him by backstabbing him. I loved them both equally. And I always hated myself for not being able to control who I love. I realize now that he wasn't a good fit for me, because of how insecure he was and isolating me from people for fear of me developing feelings. But I still don't have anything bad to say about him. Which is what really hurts the most.

[@Harkz0r]

@@DaydreamNull103 Honestly, that's one of the things about romance, attraction and relationships that I hate the most. I think you did the best you could. You _can't_ control how you feel, even with transparency and the best of intentions, which is awful. I too have unintentionally hurt and been hurt for that reason. At the same time, of course it's going to cause him pain that you felt that way towards someone else. There are very few people that wouldn't be hurt by that. But it's still better that you be honest with him than betray his trust. I don't like to quantify pain but I feel like he has a better chance of working through that, even though I also understand his insecurity (because it did happen in the end!) even though I also know it's wrong too. That's just one of those situations where there are no winners, but I hope you're happier now at least.

[@DaydreamNull103]

@@Harkz0r It's still painful to think about. I think because I need to have a strong bond with someone to feel that type of intimate sensation, it only hurts that much more when things don't work out. I only have a small amount of people in my circle as it is. Losing someone hurts so badly. And the guilt for having it be my own fault is like salt in the wounds.

[@darthremy1802]

As a Demisexual guy who felt there was something wrong with himself for almost all his life I very much appreciate this video thank you for being open about it. People often tell me Demisexuals aren't real or women often tell me I date wrong since I only really like like people after I really get to know them as in becoming friends first. When I was in highschool and my early 20's I would fake checking girls out so other guys would see me checking them out so they didn't find out there was something wrong with me. Again thanks for being open about it. Possibly TMI sex for me is really frustrating as a Demisexual, if I do create an emotional connection with a girl my sex drive goes from zero to sixty but I don't get any of the actual physical enjoyment, I'm great at getting the other person off but I feel nothing physically and something I've never told any girl I've been with is durring sex after about 10 minutes I just start watching tv because I'm just waiting for the other person to tire out or make me stop, unfortunately every girl I've been with gets self conscious that they can't bring me to finish and it always causes drama at some point cause they think there's something wrong with them no matter what I say.

[@jclyntoledo]

Omgosh I relate to the sex part partially. I've realized though I may have waited to become exclusive and a few months after to get sexual with any of my bfs. I don't think that was enough time to build sexual attraction and now looking back I was definitely going off sexual arousal and aesthetic and sensual attraction. This could also be a reason I'm sexually indifferent. The thing is I really do have a high sex drive and love flirting and am super affectionate which just makes thing's worse. For me it's not the getting aroused since that's different than sexual attraction and doesn't go hand in hand for me. I more so get turned on by the idea or something someone does but my brain doesn't make the oh yes let's do sex stuff with that person 😅. I have yet to find videos about high sex drive and being demisexual.

[@spartan456]

I didn't even find out I was demi until last year. I always felt like something was wrong with me, because I truly never could wrap my brain around all this dating, romance, and sex stuff. I'd see people go from total strangers to playing tonsil tennis an hour later and wonder how the hell they knew they wanted to do that with one another. I learned I am demi because for the second time in my life, I felt attracted to someone. She had been my friend for 2 years. I was more confused by this than anything, because I didn't understand why I didn't feel this before. She was the same exact person she was when I first met her. But somehow she was just...really pretty all of a sudden? I wanted to be around her more. I wanted to talk to her more. I wanted to spend a whole bunch of my time with her. I eventually told her I liked her. And through that process, I learned that I am demi. I expressed confusion over why I don't seem to work like everyone else does. Like, why can't I just look at someone and think "I wanna go flirt with them"? Why can't I ask out strangers? A mutual friend who is asexual informed me that I could be under the umbrella, and she encouraged me to look into demisexuality in specific. I couldn't believe reading all of the experiences from other demis. My whole life it felt like something was wrong with me, and every time I'd try to explain what it was, I was always misunderstood. People would think I was gay, afraid of sex, incapable of being confident, etc but all of that always felt wrong. Like, no man, I'm confident. I just don't know who I want to be intimate with? It was very cathartic when I learned that there's actually a word for this, and an entire community of people who share many of the same experiences growing up. I still don't know how all this dating stuff works. I'm not sure I ever will. But, I at least know and understand how I am likely to feel interested in someone.

[@insaneartist66]

Oh god the childhood experience is soo spot on. In middle school i had so many friends who would be kissing zac efron poster and i was like "uhhhh.... Sure?? I guess??" We discovered the demisexual label in the same way. I just... LOVE this video

[@taylormann4451]

Why did you use "we discovered" instead of I discovered just wondering no hate

[@insaneartist66]

@@taylormann4451 both me & anita, we

[@taylormann4451]

@@insaneartist66 oh okay

[@ari7164]

"Oh I'm just gay, that's cool" Lmfao

[@qrroll109]

103 likes and only one reply

[@ari7164]

Thank you, Perry the Platypus

[@alientitimilk9073]

She’s into demigods?

[@zickykane5206]

Demisexual is just a term for someone who can only form a sexual attraction to someone they have a close emotional bond with.

[@mutated__donkey5840]

Zicky Kane r/wooosh

[@flopilop3808]

@@zickykane5206 r/wooosh

[@zickykane5206]

@@flopilop3808 I know he was joking, that's why I joked along. Double woosh! Got ya. Lol

[@macks702]

Zicky Kane stating fact is not a double woosh

[@ThePelagia911]

As a biromantic demisexual i relate so much to this. I thought i was so weird until i came across the demi definition in my mid 20s and it all clicked.

[@ashleypotato8948]

Hello not to be rude but what does biromantic mean. I have never heard of it. :)

[@ThePelagia911]

@@ashleypotato8948 Hi, not rude at all. Biromantic is just like bisexual but since i also fall on the asexual spectrum my romantic attraction is different than my sexual one. I basically have the romantic attraction to people of my gender and not my gender but whether or not i end up feeling that sexual attraction for them at some point is unknown.

[@ashleypotato8948]

@@ThePelagia911 Thank you

[@the_once-and-future_king.]

Holy crap I had visions of you being attracted to cheap ballpoint pens...🤪

[@Chelwave]

Holy shit this explains why i can’t like anyone but my friends

[@ashley4655]

same here, i love her for making this it explains so much

[@ggobugi13]

"Isn't that just having standards?" "Doesn't everyone wait?" Well no because you get to choose to be like that, demisexuals didn't choose to feel this way! And it isn't based on time, it is based on a deep emotional connection which could come in days, weeks, months, years, or never.

[@muncher1753]

I can relate more to Choosing demisexual traits, still don’t instantly get a hard on when I see a hot girl though, hell I used to as a teenager. Her explaining this made me grateful for the ability to Choose

[@Hyperkooki]

Yes! i actually wondered while watching if i was demisexual, and i have wondered it before, just because i know i could not have sex with someone unless i trusted them and thought they loved me. but that's just insecurity and my emotional/physical boundaries! still definetly think they're attractive and could probably fantasize about them

[@f1amesko]

Exactly

[@harryhazza626]

Why do we need to start calling this by a specific word? This is just mostly normal behaviour. Why is this special. And in fact , the demisecki stuff can literally just be called .......love .

[@JellyAntz]

@Pleasantry honestly I don’t think demisexual is really a fixed thing, it could change, and I feel like all these labels really don’t matter unless it does

[@RSVDCN]

"you can't say that someone is handsome if you're not attracted to them" - what an incel logic

[@BlindMelonLord]

I agree. The fact that you can’t call someone pretty, or beautiful, or whatever, unless you want to fuck them or go out with them, yeah… Pretty stupid.

[@RSVDCN]

@@BlindMelonLord But you can... that's what I'm saying.

[@BlindMelonLord]

I knew what you meant. I was agreeing with you. You said people who use that kind of logic are morons. You are correct. Because as she says, you can still call someone pretty or handsome or whatever, and you don’t even have to be attracted to them. You can still be friends with someone and say they look beautiful in something, or pretty in something, or handsome in something, or whatever. The people who use the logic of, you can only call someone that if you’re attracted to them, need to get an actual fucking brain in that head of theirs.

[@rickybobby2444]

yeah you can it's called platonic love I love you I love all people if you're good-looking I know you're good looking right I'm looking at blue that's blue that's a nice shade of blue what's your logic like 🤐🤐

[@RSVDCN]

@@rickybobby2444 it's a quote from the video ...

[@RaptureScore]

That's a human in the bathtub, thanks mom

[@8bithardstop682]

HUMAN!!

[@amandamail2003]

Lol I relate to this so much haha!

[@raykennethbaltazarbspsy1b508]

Toss a coin to your human! LoL wtf

[@EKUgrad1]

Awe, Dexter's wife Rita...

[@TimDyck]

The best thing about Demi’s is we commit 100% when we do find someone that you can actually feel comfortable with.

[@TaldrenMGMoonGuard]

Thank you for making this video and putting a name to my sexuality. I'm 48 and I grew up during a time when we weren't allowed to talk about this and we had to be straight, get married have kids and like it or else burn in hell forever. I have felt this my entire life and after my divorce I wondered if I had gotten together with bad people and it made me this way? Turns out no it never did. When you said that the longer you're with someone the more attracted you are to them, that's exactly how I felt too in long term relationships which is why breakups were so crushing. Took me about 20 years longer to figure out at the very least that my sexuality was different than most, but I don't feel bitter about it because back then it was considered a mental illness. It truly was the dark ages. It takes people my age longer to figure these things out because of that. I love your channel, Anita!

[@fmaaa8322]

I genuinely thought Demisexual was related to Demigods and this video was a joke. Yes I'm autistic

[@nekozaemon3803]

No you'r not, it's nonsense terminology, why do i need to know fucking difference? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, DUDE!!!

[@Swenglish]

Demi just means partial, half or lesser. A demigod is part god, part something else, or halfway to god status. Demisexuality is partial sexuality, specifically the part that can experience secondary attraction but not the part that experiences primary attraction. Primary attraction is a temporary stage that's useful for facilitating the creation of the kind of bond that can lead to secondary attraction, which can last longer and is typically not based on obvious surface level things. That's why, for people who experience both, people who are initially perceived as attractive can either get less or more attractive over time depending on the connection. For demisexuals, attraction only happens in the secondary stage, and that's a lot harder to get to without the primary stage. Yes I'm also autistic.

[@gus9351]

@@Swenglish ah yes so I'm a demi 6 incher ok man thanks now I got something to brag

[@fmaaa8322]

Tasteful Tuna Thank you! I love it when KZbin comments teach me something

[@big_petebear8535]

Ha ha h ha ha hahaa

[@Damatovg]

Love your videos. Also, demisexuality is unfortunately such a misunderstood concept so I'm glad you posted this

[@TrillShvt]

i feel like it’s misunderstood because it’s a loaded word and people don’t read into those things , just say you like to build a bond before youre actually attracted to them

[@aliveslice]

@@TrillShvt demisexual is the marijuana of sexualities it's like whatever, I get it. There used to be demisexual and asexual, now you can check out "pride flags" pages and lose your mind wondering if that's satire (mostly not) The labels can be seen as redundant or helpful, technically she's a bisexual who's not sexually attracted to strangers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But she's right that it's not "women by default" lol

[@nothaidar4583]

Bro I would love to fucken be demisexual so I don’t have to wank everyday

[@TrillShvt]

mental yea I feel that it’s good for identification like I’m a sapiosexual from my understanding because I find intelligence attractive but I just say “ what stimulates me is intellect and good conversation “ and thats easy enough to understand. Down the line i might get into the whole sapiosexual spiel lol

[@kylewitter2806]

Not haidar Not necessarily-sex drive is different from sexual attraction

[@jadenlow4621]

7:34, I've heard people in similar situations respond to this by saying: "I may be (insert sexuality), but I'm not blind."

[@jumpcutfilms1958]

Leo Snart?

[@Sheriff_K]

You don't need to be a painter, to appreciate a painting. ;P

[@edwartoelrico333]

Well, I'm heterosexual but I know how a attractive man looks like... just like me

[@remiing9029]

it's amazing seeing a public figure come out as a demi. im a pandemic here (pansexual and demi) and it makes me happy knowing that some person in the world understands

[@glimbotz]

i was in a group chat where they were like “demisexuality is just straight with extra steps” like no.. it’s not towards gender attraction it’s towards sexual through emotional attraction. you can be bisexual and demisexual or gay and demisexual

[@ryanl1424]

“I couldn’t really have like, a bean-salute at a naked person.” LMFAO

[@redniwediS]

Aro/Ace here and still figuring out my place in the world. Thank you so much for making this video, hopefully it helps some people figure themselves out.

[@philurbaniak1811]

🖤⚫⚪💜

[@Traumatised311]

Drag queen is the option

[@redniwediS]

@@Traumatised311 Sorry? I don't think you replied to the right person. If you did I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

[@Traumatised311]

, no i mean career wise drag queen is an option

[@redniwediS]

@@Traumatised311 Why would it be?

[@peeelan]

I love how she just periodically flips us off

[@jasoncostanzo5337]

"Bean salute", if I heard that correctly, almost made my coffee fly out of my mouth! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@spacecadets1756]

I appreciate you talking about this. I feel that demisexuality isn’t talked about enough, so it means a lot that you are willing to use your platform to educate people about it. I went through a similar experience with finding out my sexuality. I’m asexual and realizing that was really comforting because it helped me feel less broken. Thank you so much for helping out others who are in that community!

[@cosmickeyboard9811]

Virgin squad where we at

[@seancunningham4462]

Awwww, no one replied 😞

[@tjjt9998]

@@seancunningham4462 u dont have to reply mate a like is enough

[@seancunningham4462]

TJ JT too late now

[@andt1994]

Hi 😅

[@JSlip_TheLordOctopus]

Still here.

[@SilverTemplar]

This is a word I wish I had growing up. It would have made so much sense out of things. I just thought I was weirdly prudish back then, despite not wanting to be or acting like it outwardly. I remember the boys checking out girls or showing pictures to one another and I was always like, "Cool...?" I knew I wasn't gay, but I knew there was something off.

[@pneav5307]

Well explained, I recently found out about it and it hit me like a brick. Being demisexual explained all of my adult history and everything just clicked, whay I didn't enjoy sex and that I was always doing it for them, why I was unhappy, why I went through all of labels and couldn't find myself in them, why I didn't like dating and instead was looking for a friendship... It's honestly such a relief... Btw you have a beautiful laugh.

[@nathanhargenrader645]

This is fascinating. I have never truly heard someone talk about this or explain what it's like.

[@kraventhehunter1495]

So, recently (about a week ago) my wife came out to me saying she is DemiSexual. When she was explaining it to me, I was a little bit confused, but I did follow most of what she told me. I wanted to do more research into it because I wasn’t sure what she was telling me. I figured someone else’s perspective could confirm what my initial thoughts were. So the search began, and I came across your video. I’ve been subbed to you for a while, so it was actually pretty convenient haha. After finishing watching this, it really helped me a lot. I don’t know why I so worried, to be honest. We both still really love each other, and I do anything for her. She’s the world to me and I’m just happy she chose me. 9 years together and still going strong together ^_^. Thank you for Sharing, Anita!!!

[@yudodis]

Quite the number of terms there. Frankly the one that matters most is *genuine,* and you certainly check that box. - Fan from NYC.

[@nyteteror1251]

When this was uploaded I was struggling to open my garage for an ice cream.

[@nyteteror1251]

John Doe Yes I did, and let me tell you now. It was definitely worth it.

[@krosses7156]

@@nyteteror1251 i have never been so satisfied by the ending of a yt thread, especially 1 three comments long

[@jaybird17_72]

I liked all of these comments

[@bumwithchips]

For some reason this made my day a litter better

[@njones420]

is that a euphemism?

[@dankbank666]

Holy smokes i started just rofling over the 20 second clips of you on the internet and then found myself actually learning why I feel what I feel, and that others too have scratched their heads in confusion. Much more comfortable, now I gotta take this test

[@jvaanchy]

You have no idea how much you're helping me right now! I'm in my 20s and I swear that until now I've never realized that I am demi. I've always struggled to be attracted to someone that wasnt a person I really shared a bond with, and I've missed a lot of chances because of this... Maybe even hurt those people emotionally, without my intentions to do so. But now I got a way to grow and better myself thanks to you ❤️

[@jvaanchy]

I can't really describe how much I see myself in the words and experiences you told! It's crazy!!! Lol Im so fucking exited to hear this, I'm astonished

[@akgreengirl9876]

Sometimes labels aren't about defining yourself for someone else to understand, but instead they are useful for defining yourself to YOURSELF so that you feel more comfortable with who you are and not so alone in your skin.

[@Davidcavazos77]

Anita replied to a couple of my messages one time when I was going through some shit and I NVER forgot it! Love you GIRL!!

[@nellybean2653]

i just got introduced to anita, but i love and respect her so much. i've never heard demisexuality talked about like this, and its definitely helped me understand more.

[@GumiBear]

YESSSSS! I'm honestly tired of hearing some people not considering Demisexual as a sexuality and just say that Demisexuality is just having "standards"!

[@gardencarcass]

"you can't be demisexual because you found someone immideatly attractive" is such a ridiculous statement. like straight men can note that a guy is attractive... a straight girl can notice that a girl is attractive... it's not all sex or romance

[@josephsaafan7838]

It's just people being annoying don't take it seriously

[@thebassrogue]

people don't understand that recognizing beauty or attractiveness is different than having desire or interest in said person

[@luvs2danceSKC]

Ya because there are different types of attractions and they don't need to match

[@tippinonmyha1321]

As a straight man. I can say that I'll find another dude a good looking aka an attractive man. I'm not going to go pound his ass. I'm not physically attracted to him. As I am not gay. I can find a female attractive but have zero interest in her. Connection is everything. Without that you have nothing

[@Onmysheet]

But you would meet a woman you'd find attractive but with little connection.

[@briank1263]

I identify the same way. Sometimes my introverted personality can be harmful to me because I can't feel any sexual attraction unless I am given the chance to get to know someone. I've never met someone who was the same way in person but it is nice to know there are others out there. Sometimes I'll think I am attracted to a Woman but when we start talking nothing happens. It is frustrating and lonely. As I get older it doesn't get easier either. Thank you so much for sharing this Anita. It is nice to know I am normal.

[@TheStRyder91]

Your sponsor is giving you a 20% code while they have a 21% code for the weekend. Seems a bit shady if you are meant to get a cut. Ordered a Sloth in Sunflowers for my GF using your code, so cheers Anita (Y) Edit: Now there's is a free delivery code at the top of the site and that undercuts Anita's code too.

[@eljaviierr]

Did u just try to 👍 by using (Y)

[@grahamcox7995]

But what benefit does the company get by loosing an extra percent off there margin?

[@epjarvis1285]

@@grahamcox7995 I'd assume Anita gets a % when people use her 20% off code so they're hoping that people go to the website through Anita, see that they can get 21% off instead of 20% with a different code. Then they don't have to give a % of the 21% off code to Anita which means the company makes more money. It's a bit scummy on her sponsors part but hey, that's smart business.

[@joshfairbro1624]

I'd say that as a sponsor, they would give out a flat amount as a starter, but having a code also seems maybe a bit generous? I dunno. A one off payment and then a lingering percentage using the code would look like a fuckin great deal during this time especially

[@DareDevilPhil]

@@epjarvis1285 am I stupid or does that not effect the company's bottom line at all? Either the % stays in the customer's wallet or it goes to Anita, the company doesn't see it. They might make more sales with the higher discount I suppose

[@QBeak]

Oh god It explains so much It feels like about 8 years of my confusion was gone in one video, wtf I also thought at one point that I was asexual, but that didn't really fit Thank you sooo much

[@MazorKuziaki]

"I'd love to have more control over my sexuality." Yeah, that's not a feeling that's exclusive to demisexuality. In fact I'd wager it's a pretty universal feeling.

[@josephmarina2883]

If not, is a bit of a problem, or a lot of a problem

[@breathoffreshair7795]

You may have misunderstood it then. Being a demi complicates romance. Its nots just “i cant get that girl/guy because they arent attracted to me” its also “theyre good looking but i cant possibly be interested without further communication which may not be possible” its incredibly more complicated.

[@Alluska]

This really helped me... I never have really developed feelings for anyone or felt sexual feelings unless I really knew that person.. I actually am/was scared that I couldn't love anyone... Thank you so so so so soo much for making this video!

[@november8994]

i am sooo late on this video, but as someone who just realized that she's demisexual and has struggled with the same things that you've talked about (and i'm still struggling with microlabels and people being confused and hiding it) this really really helped. thank you so much for this video :') ilysm

[@idax358]

Im proud of you, whatever your sexuality is ❤️❤️🙏

[@ish4638]

S I M P

[@Toopydroppymoopy]

I’m disappointed in you whatever you sexuality is

[@KelsieJG__they-them]

I'm demi but much closer to the ace side and this was a beautiful description of how it works for a lot of us. Also when she said "I might know if I'm sexually attracted to you in a year or two" I felt that in my SOUL, the struggle to find absurdly patient people is real.

[@PBandJuliana]

I felt the same way for a long time. I had some friends who would say that they would love to hook up with a certain person and I always wondered why I didn’t feel that way. I found out that I was asexual. I don’t experience ANY sexual attraction/desires but I have romantic attraction. I’m glad I can relate to you on a certain level of this🖤🤍💜

[@philurbaniak1811]

🖤⚫⚪💜

[@spanordschleifeenjoyer]

How old are you?

[@PBandJuliana]

Drija Kralj old enough

[@rubengarcia7908]

Asexuals only dislike sex?

[@PBandJuliana]

Ruben Garcia I guess you could say that. Basically we don’t have a sex drive so we don’t have any desire for sexual actions, displays, or intimacies

[@liclinton708]

As a person who is also demisexual this speaks to me SOOOO much and I always thought I was strange to talk about who people like and celebrity crushes. You are the first public person that I know who is also demisexual and this makes me happy. Thanks for making this video and opening up about it, I agree with all of this.

[@Toa_X]

I'm also Demisexual and I'm so happy that one of my idols also is Demisexual! I didn't have any sexual attractions till I started to like my best friend that I've known for so long. So you don't know how happy I am that you came out!

[@Purple_Dragonfly2002]

Anita you are amazing, thank you for sharing your life with us. And thank you for helping people understand these topics.

[@minersheep8285]

11:05 I mean I know that was a tick But honestly I wouldn't be surprised if you told them that That would scare them off big time xD

[@iFaFo_0]

Some would be even more attracted

[@brookschann338]

@@iFaFo_0 oh my goodness

[@aliveslice]

It's many men's wet dream

[@jackcolson4745]

I love how she just went with it and embraced the tic. You can see it in her smile.

[@fng0809]

Ohh boi, that kindling-fire-analogy is AMAZING!

[@ConsistentlyInconsistent]

Thank you for making this video. I watched it at work last week and my best friend was describing that she has never had love at first sight. She went on to explain it a bit more when I remembered this video. I looked it up to get the term you used then went online to describe it. She said that it pretty much explained how she is.

[@Hyperkooki]

For those questioning about their sexuality: don't worry! you'll figure it out someday! It will be much easier to tell from past experiences and relationships than just concentrating on it now

[@WisdomAkpan211]

11:47 That timing XD

[@ihavenoidea2805]

I can't tell if that's a joke or a tic :c

[@BeyondxDescription]

I’m really glad you put this out there for everyone. Being demisexual is not easy with this sex first connect later relationship method pervading our generation. A lot of people don’t get it, think we’re ace, prudes, teases. Our friends ask if someone’s hot and we’re weird for saying “idk what that personality do tho.” I appreciate you educating some people cuz boy does the world need it.

[@grtan96]

Hope I find someone like you 😊. Its interesting to see someone be so confident to be out in the public with a condition and making it to put a smile on someone's face and actually don't mind it as all. Its really inspiring.

[@raer5373]

So she's only into demigods, well good luck finding Kratos Anita :D

[@tariqearl4899]

We saw what happened to kratos’s last wife..

[@owo-ky9rz]

@M 40 creep

[@SupremeKamina]

@@owo-ky9rz no no wait he's got a point

[@akaissy]

Honestly, hearing other people’s experience’s finding out their sexuality, especially if its a different sexuality from the one I identify with, really validates me for some reason lol. I suppose im just like “hey i didnt experience anything really like that so i know for sure now i am what i say i am. I always doubt my bisexuality but i remember looking at my dad’s old ass playboy magazines and simping over these beautiful women from a very young age but also experiencing deep attraction to justin beiber at the same time lmao.

[@brymac3624]

Mood

[@ashley4655]

lmaoo justin beiber

[@LewysC]

7:58 - This was the best analogy I've ever heard for anything ever xD

[@berkeleybernie]

Brilliant. Everything about this is brilliant- the honesty, the self-reflection, the humor, the intelligence, the compassion.

[@Noctuaris12]

This was actually really helpful in figuring out that there was actually nothing wrong with me, and that I was not the only one feeling that kinda way. After taking a test it seems I am more of a demi romantic rather than a demi sexual, meaning I could eventually have a sexual relationship with someone I don't really know, but I'd have to know the person really well in order to fall for them. Which coincidentally explains why I was always falling for really close friends of mine which most of the time ended up in really weird situations because of my social awkwardness 😂 I've known your channel for only a really short while but I'm starting to fall in love with it, keep up the good work!

[@omgimanowl7888]

Ayyy. Another demi!! It took me a while to figure out that I was demi but when I figured it out I was so happy. (I'm very shy btw) I thought I was aromantic and i didnt really like that so I wanted it to be something else and I'm really glad it was not aro. Long story short, I figured out I was demipansexual!

[@dennissluijk1789]

Anita: "kindle a flame" Me: ah, a ashen one i see...

[@wearegoingtogoseeyousoonid1891]

Idk how you share this all so openly with millions of peps. Your pretty inspiring legit legend

[@GinaGodfrey]

People can get so hung up on labels but watching your video shows how a label helped you understand yourself more

[@Mr83nn0]

Being demi is hard. On top of that there's all the other forms of attraction not aligning making things even more confusing. When I was growing up I always thought I was a relationship person because casual hookups never interested me. Then I have a friend whom I liked spending time with, and out of the blue boom I find myself sexually attracted to this person. So we start to hook up, they get feelings and I sadly didn't reciprocitate. I really like them as a friend, we clicked fantastically physically, but I didn't have any romantic feelings. And it destroyed that relationship, because I didn't know how I work and couldn't communicate it in a fair way. Because apparently I don't have a problem with casual sex. It just takes time for me to develop sexual attraction for someone (if I do, because it isn't guaranteed it will even happen). So attraction is a slippery-slope and is not helped when people in general talk about this umbrella term that is a one for all kind of situation works the same way for everyone. So thanks for making this video and spreading the awareness.

[@karanaima]

yes that exactly

[@ryancrafar3733]

Now I know. Im actually demisexual. Well, thats something new

[@jpjaye]

“If u can’t move the mountain then u are not worthy for she is attracted to demigods” - Some random simp

[@yadsewnde]

Ayo, Anita this video is amazing! You're so very well spoken and composed as well as educated! I just wanted to comment my thanks bc I've never seen something on this topic this clear. I felt and learned a lot and am just really grateful rn to have stumbled across this. Thank you.

[@billmafturack8189]

Trust and connection is so important beyond any physical attractiveness..

[@Bestialce2007]

1:17 this is literally me, holy shit. 30 years and just now I found out I'm not the only one D:

[@victorblancocrespo4379]

I think demisexuality is pretty relateable. I tend to fell more atracted to people who I apreciate or admire for some reason even if there´s someone hotter next to them.

[@someonesomeone25]

Reminder: its fine to be gay, lesbian, bi, pan, straight, trans, cis, ace, allo, poly, NB, objectum, demi, grey, ficto, or anything else except harmful or insincere. You are valid and great as you are. And if you ever change then thats valid and fine too.

[@hc6157]

I’m glad the ace community helped you find what you needed. I’m not asexual but very aromantic, and oddly enough my story still has a lot of the same beats. Being frustrated with lack of control, anxiety around sexual relationships, etc.

[@bojnebojnebojne]

Brutal honesty is super attractive, and is a very rare thing. It takes confidence in your self to be brutally honest. Me personally wouldn't be put off by a date telling me things like "I don't feel physical attraction or sexual arousal until i have an emotional connection". Because if i am investing time into a person, i am aiming for the long haul.

[@humane143imperfection6]

Wow, thank you for this.. As a heterosexual male I didn't understand how to classify this. I thought I was just a sapiosexual.. this is fascinating.

[@sadi3kins]

I think I just learned I was a demisexual 🤷‍♀️

[@komakon]

Honestly, this sounds like the best way to be attracted to someone IMO

[@phizzypop3603]

I’ve been through a journey of discovering myself, my gender and sexuality. I never really thought about it when I was younger because I was always like ‘meh’ and I had never really thought about it in depth. As far as I used to be concerned, I was straight, but very introverted which is why I never really dated. I had never really had any sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, aside from the people I really knew, and even then it was very rare. Now, at 19, I know that I’m Demi sexual and Demi romantic! I haven’t found someone I have had a proper romantic attraction to yet, let alone sexual attraction, but it really doesn’t matter to me, because I’m not that into dating anyway.

[@skyabovetheocean]

I’m glad someone is talking about Demisexuality! I am a demisexual myself, and the fact that it’s not a topic that is discussed or acknowledge that much makes me upset. Thank you for talking and sharing your story of finding out about your sexuality! I admire you a lot and stay being you!

[@TheRydog456]

"a bean salute" I love it lol

[@LennyTheHopeless]

My aunt trying to get me to come over for movie night: there's gonna be hot guys with their shirts off in it~! Me: ...and now I want to watch it even less? Why would I want to creepily watch someone with their shirt off? The thought itself makes me feel disturbed...

[@IronBalls]

“Body shape doesn’t matter” - ..... soooo.... you’re saying there’s a chance 😌

[@Pixx2266]

This is something I will never, ever believe anyone. I've been on both ends of the shape spectrum. It's bullshit because it's a subconscious thing.

[@jestes7]

@@Pixx2266 its a prerequisite lol emotional connection comes after

[@Pixx2266]

@@jestes7 Then you are saying she's lying? She says she's demisexual, meaning she doesn't care at all how someone looks. Ofc it's prerequisite in my opinion too.

[@jestes7]

@@Pixx2266 No, I was agreeing with you that it's a subconscious thing. She just may not realize it. But then again I think that could be just my projection because there's a lot of people that are attracted to some pretty physically unattractive people. People that most people would deem very physically unattractive anyway, which is hard to describe because in the end physical attraction is subjective... this is very difficult to type lol in the end I will just admit I have no idea what I'm saying, just ignore me lol

[@Pixx2266]

@@jestes7 No, not at all, I completely agree with you just didn't understand at first what you meant :) I appreciate your input and it's an interesting discussion all in all. Cheers bud!

[@DogFlamingoXIII]

Videos like this and posts like this are so incredibly helpful for people who are really struggling to understand their own sexuality, as well as those who want to understand friends, family, and potential partners better. I struggled with not understanding myself for a long time, being forced into abusive relationships by people who were trying to be helpful, and really taking hit after hit to my self esteem; and then one day a casual discussion on a "One Piece" anime forum helped me to realize I was just an aromantic asexual. I finally could tell people what I felt and what I was going through. I was no longer broken and trying to find the right relationship. I was something with a name and an understanding. Even people who are jerks about it at least get it a little, even if they don't want to get it. Had it not been for this guy that talked to me on the OP forum and asked about asexuality, I wouldn't be so healthy with my sexuality now.

[@screech4505]

I honestly love hearing people who are on the ace or aro spectrum talk about and describe their experience of realising that that’s what they are. I’m aromantic personally and for the longest time even though I was aware of it I didn’t think I could be aro because I experienced sexual attraction. Hearing other people’s experiences and then explaining them in different ways helped me realise that I’m aro and it actually lifted a weight off of me. So anyway thank you for talking about it and bringing awareness to it

[@kroozctrl6284]

Little extra padding, hmmm. I call that a “truffle shuffle”