The Truth About Pain and Suffering Will Change Your Life | Maggie Kang | TEDxCherryCreekWomen

[@randompi9492]

Maggie's journey demonstrates the role of thought in shaping our emotional landscape. The idea that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional provides a framework to navigate adversity with resilience.

[@aynapaisley]

This is the core of Buddhism teaching. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional and suffering is keeping you from being happy. This was a great speech, very comprehensive way of describing it

[@DollStall]

An aha moment for Maggie when her life coach made her aware of her negative thoughts and their flow on effects.

[@maggiekang497]

Definite aha moment. Ty for your comment.

[@arindamsarkar6522]

1. Choose your thoughts 2. Question your thoughts 3. Choose the thought that feels like acceptance

[@keranskeckter]

We can't control everything that happens to us but we have control over our response. We can chose a positive outlook.

[@maggiekang497]

Absolutely!💯

[@therealblackdynasty]

I'm all for this, just because something hurts doesn't mean you have to make yourself suffer.

[@maggiekang497]

So true. I still have to remind myself of this. Thank you.😊

[@poojadelinaer]

Becoming aware of our thoughts, questioning them, and choosing acceptance can truly make a difference in our experience of pain.

[@maggiekang497]

100%, thank you for sharing.

[@Sky-Leap]

You've got to have a SOLID foundation in place in order to make this choice and today's world, cementing that solid foundation is easier said than done.

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed.

[@itzpredicator3589]

I want to believe in the power of shifting our mindset. By embracing pain and choosing thoughts that promote growth, we can redirect suffering into empowerment. What happens though, when some of us shift, and others don't? It's very difficult to continue to choose to observe, instead of engaging, when those around you tend to shift blame instead of self-awareness.

[@noahjerted]

Excellent point and excellent share with the group. T

[@maverickvassallo]

i have never watched a speech that had so much life wisdom packed into 11 minutes. Wow.

[@surasakwichairak]

Beyond grateful to you for sharing this with our group Mav

[@maggiekang497]

❤

[@austinjay9486]

This talk makes some really good points about the power of perspective. Accepting and reshaping our thoughts isn't about denying reality but about choosing what empowers us to cope, learn and find new avenues of growth

[@thedaveallan]

I really like the idea of having this amount of control over your thoughts. You have to, otherwise they control you, and they're not always right, or positive.

[@chancecormac]

Pain will visit us all at some stage in our lives but we can chose to avoid suffering by dealing with the pain.

[@maggiekang497]

Right on. So true.

[@margekang4128]

Absolutely. 💯

[@Boss-1964]

This journey shows how acknowledging pain and adjusting the narrative around it can lead to mastery and growth. We have so much more agency over our emotions than we think, this talk shows how you can get there.

[@maggiekang497]

Absolutely

[@maggiekang497]

Absolutely

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you.

[@sheryldabose1988]

Her entire journey is such a testament to her strength! Some serious resilience going on here 💪💪

[@margekang4128]

I really appreciate your comment. Thank you.

[@IGiveRainbowKisses]

I think blaming ourselves happens because we're so desperate to find a meaning or cause, and blame is kind of like the second best things to finding that. Be kind to yourselves everyone ❤❤

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed. Thank you.

[@Raspberry-Media]

Now this is a blueprint for emotional growth. By embracing acceptance and reshaping our thoughts, we can confront pain with resilience. Her journey shows that while pain is part of life, the suffering we endure is often a construct of our own narratives

[@margekang4128]

Thank you. Yes, that's exactly it. It was an important lesson for me. But I need to remind myself of each day because it's easy to slip into my old way of thinking. "Growth" is the operative word here, for sure. A practice and growth, thanks for your comment,

[@Cyber-Toast]

When we focus on choosing negative thoughts we invite more negativity but if we chose to be positive and grateful miracles happen.

[@maggiekang497]

SO true!

[@thereallyreallybigpicture]

Take home message [4:52] "pain [is] an unavoidable reality." Kinda like change, death and taxes.

[@maggiekang497]

Exactly!

[@earlyeaston]

This is good, practical advice for anyone looking to strength their mental resilience

[@thetrevorbinder]

Um. Wow. Wasn't anticipating being hit in the face with such truths today. Thanks Ms Kang.

[@moyaresgard]

While changing our thoughts can impact our emotional state, it might not be as simple as choosing a different thought. Realities like illness often evoke complex feelings beyond immediate control

[@vickycristena]

I think this is a really inspiring approach but it's also important to recognize that choosing thoughts to reduce suffering might not be a universal solution... sometimes whatever the situation is that has caused us pain is so much that it really impacts our ability to even function, let alone choose our mindset.

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed. I wanted to qualify this too in my talk but I had to cut out so much to stay within the time limit. But I agree with you. If one is in a very activated state of mind, accessing thoughts to choose may not be available.

[@noahjerted]

Stoic approach, I appreciate it.

[@jenniferle8294]

Saw a clip of this talk on fb reels and I knew I had to listen to the whole thing. Your video deserves way more attention! I went through a bad breakup and exactly like you said I had so many thoughts that made me self blame and question my sense of self worth. It’s taken me 1.5 years but it’s the first time in this long journey that I feel like I’m finally seeing a path forward, accepting the breakup, not blaming myself, but seeing the new chapter of my life and being excited about it. Also my mom is a radiologist too so this hit hard! Thank you so much for sharing. Everybody needs to hear this. You’re right, pain is inevitable but we have to learn how to accept and move through it. Beautifully said.

[@jakechoi346]

I agree. Maggie’s message can apply to everyone.

[@maggiekang497]

Jennifer, thank you for sharing this. It is exactly why I wanted to get my message out. I am so glad to hear you finally see a path forward. This means a lot to me.

[@carlasteadman]

Profound suffering might require a broader toolkit, including therapy, community, and coping strategies tailored to individual experiences but I genuinely believe that the conversations we have with ourselves and our mindset can help HUGE along the way.

[@maggiekang497]

Absolutely agree!

[@jamesm2541]

Great talk. Very inspiring.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you,

[@gastonedupriese]

I live this each day

[@maggiekang497]

Right on.

[@surasakwichairak]

It is so difficult to make that initial choice, but once it is a habit, it is like a whole new world is open !

[@BrainDrainBabe]

I have been an advocoate for mind over matter for a long time but I feel this might overlook the deep-seated pain some experiences evoke. Extreme grief, trauma, or systemic oppression might require more than just choosing alternative thoughts. Integrating emotional processing and external support becomes crucial in these cases. 🤷‍♀😔

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed. Processing the emotions comes first. But you do eventually have a choice, similar to Viktor Frankl. Ty for this comment. I wanted you to underscore this point but so much had to get cut out of my talk to be within the time constraint of about 10 min.

[@bbu5576]

Maggie, thanks for sharing your personal journey and helping others.This is very powerful, stay strong🙏

[@rheeslewis]

While we can't change every circumstance, altering our thoughts can shape our perception of suffering and open up possibilities for growth. 🌟💪Thank you for this excellent talk!

[@haleeisener]

Listening to this and how her experience has fostered the potential for growth in herself and her relationships... Got me thinking! Thank you.

[@nanburkhardt]

I think her experience really shows how yes pain is inevitable, but our response to it has the power to shape our whole life. Choosing to accept the pain but also having constructive thoughts is a really amazing form of self-empowerment.

[@InMemoryofBrody]

As a mother who has also suffered a significant loss, watching this talk was both emotional and empowering. “Suffering is a choice…” - wow. Is it really my choice to break my own chains? It took me a while to marinade on those words and to comment here, and the more I have been thinking about it these simply words, the more I begin to believe that guilt, suffering, and stagnant pain are releasable through choice, dare I choose to take steps toward loving myself. Maggie, you are a gem and a brilliant life coach - to have applied your own transition from suffering to clarity after so much endured as a mom and to then share with others and help bring fellow women and moms to the same transition is commendable. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@margekang4128]

Sunny, thank you for sharing this. I agree, it takes time to let the idea marinate.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@kumarshubham2819]

Thank you

[@justanormalboyreallynormal]

Life coaches sometimes get a bad rap but their fresh perspective can be what you need to turn a situation around. Amazing work Maggie!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for this comment. I know what you mean about life coaches getting a bad rap. I was skeptical too, and it really shocked me when it changed my life.

[@shureedouglas8682]

By embracing pain and selecting thoughts that encourage acceptance, we can reframe our suffering into a catalyst for personal development. Her story highlights the power of introspection and the choices we make in navigating life's challenges. 🌺🌞

[@1edty]

The analogy of pain being inevitable but suffering being optional really struck a chord with me. It's a reminder to choose thoughts that empower us and lead to growth.

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed! It is a choice.

[@gabrieldmateo]

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” What an incredible human being Viktor Frankl was.

[@maggiekang497]

Totally agree. He was.

[@Influence-Me]

Wow. This is really valuable information but I think you'd have to have a very strong sense of will

[@gizmeaux]

Yes! By accepting pain and shaping our narrative, we can transform suffering into growth and possibility.

[@maggiekang497]

Yes. I learned this the hard way. But it is a powerful lesson, one I try to keep in mind and keep in my back pocket.

[@bellemaba]

This is a really powerful mindset but I feel like it might not capture the complexity of certain experiences that trigger overwhelming suffering.

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed, it's hard to get into the complexities in a 10 min talk but I wanted to share the idea in the context of my experience. Ty for your comment.

[@nickgravygraves]

Powerful talk, needed this today as I spent it alone.

[@imadampierce]

How incredibly insightful, to reflect the complexity of our emotional responses is not something widely practiced..

[@Anshuguleria]

Great story and inspiration to think differently

[@lucyholmesisme]

This talk touched my heart. It's a beautiful reminder that while we can't control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. Acceptance is key to finding strength and moving forward.

[@maggiekang497]

Acceptance is key!

[@bra-nd-on]

the depths of suffering that certain painful experiences can bring vary greatly. Trauma, grief, or loss might demand a more complex emotional response that isn't always neatly transformed by choosing different thoughts. How can this approach be reconciled with the profound challenges life can throw at us? 🤔😓

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed. One cannot just switch a thought and have pain from trauma be magically dissolved. Addressing this topic in 10 min was challenging and I certainly did not mean to diminish the experience of complex trauma and grief. The point I was hoping to make was that becoming aware of our thoughts helps us to know if we're choosing to accept pain or resisting it in which case we're creating suffering. I really appreciate your thoughtful and legitimate question.

[@laurelmartin6004]

I took notes on this as it seems to me that none of us are immune from experiencing painful realities. This was inspiring, candid, and helpfully practical! Thank you!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you, Laurel! ❤

[@milapercava]

I can relate to the struggle of blaming myself in difficult situations. Our thoughts can create unnecessary suffering and choosing acceptance is a powerful step towards healing.

[@3leftfeet]

Love how she shifted her narrative from blame to acceptance. A valuable lesson for anyone facing challenging circumstances.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@KatieKimball]

Parents of kids who fall ill have a HUGE struggle to keep it together -- every single one of them needs to watch this talk!!!

[@maggiekang497]

Katie, thank you for sharing this. So true, it is a struggle. I was one of those parents.

[@jennyverdery3036]

This is truly incredible. I love the way you were able to change your mindset and provided such a personal story to show the path. You give me hope for myself and others. Life can be so painful but that does not mean one has to fall apart. Thank you

[@mylescolton]

so important to see this today, wow

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@MarkBartolozzi]

Amazing story. Will add you to my prayers. I am so glad your daughter is doing well Mark

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for your kind thoughts, really appreciate you.

[@harrisonstenson8324]

Talk about a enlightening talk. Extreme circumstances could trigger deep emotional responses that aren't easily altered by thought alone. Addressing such complex pain often involves multifaceted strategies and professional guidance. 🤷‍♂😓

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed, we could spend days discussing complex pain but I wanted to share the idea as best I could in a 10 min talk. Ty for watching and for sharing your comment.

[@mikeperez7093]

Maggie, what a powerful and moving experience/reflection. Recognize, accept and adjust. Love it: pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Never to late to learn that. Thanks for sharing.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you, Mike!

[@clubdjay]

Inspiration & awesomeness... Thanks Maggie!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@margekang4128]

Thank you!

[@leslielevito7373]

Wow. It's amazing how as humans our default mode is automatically so myopic. It's incredible how you turned something so painful and challenging into a true learning moment so that others can have a path to clarity. Thank you!

[@maggiekang497]

Leslie, I love how you phrased it - automatic default mode being so “myopic”. Couldn’t agree more. Thank you so much for watching my talk.

[@abbyhavermann]

This is a must listen - as a mother of a child with a disability, it's all in changing the way you think about something. Truly, no less than life-changing. Listen to this talk!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you, Abby! ❤

[@anilkumarjvanil8304]

​@@maggiekang497bz,whaai

[@tarifrahman9716]

10:29 3 steps

[@dustyevans2130]

Maggie's experience highlights the power of our thoughts in shaping our emotional responses. Accepting pain doesn't mean avoiding it; it means choosing thoughts that promote growth and healing. 🌟🌈

[@kellecobble6984]

Such a powerful reminder of what we actually can control. Thank you, Dr. Kang.

[@maggiekang497]

❤ thank you.

[@craztinker]

insightful, thanks for this.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for this comment.

[@idastefanec7489]

Powerful testimony of a mothers love and strength 👏👏💕

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@tyeziika]

I love how she teaches us about embracing acceptance in the face of painful realities. It's a reminder that while we can't control everything, we can shape our responses. 🌺🌞

[@emmashubert]

I think Maggie's insights and the journey she's been on really show the importance of understanding your own pain, and how choosing thoughts that promote acceptance can lead to personal growth and transformation. Her story reflects the idea that while pain is a part of life, suffering is often a product of our responses to it. 🌺🌞

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@sarahsymons2092]

This TED talk has great storytelling, perfect pacing and tons of emotional impact. I learned a lot about the difference between pain and suffering, and will be incorporating the 3 Steps into my own life.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you. ❤

[@dalitsharer4538]

Such a powerful message Maggie. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for watching, Dalit!

[@MsJeantien]

Thank you for sharing your story. Your daughter is amazing too! 👏

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for this comment.

[@giovanni-is-here]

Maggie's talk is inspiring for all us parents battling a child's auto immune disease. Thanks for sharing

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed!

[@jenniferrichey521]

Maggie - you are helping so many people with this work! Such an amazing message!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@deneechoice1196]

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story and words of wisdom! Suffering is indeed optional.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you, Denee. It surely is.

[@brawlstar1276FIRE]

Thanks for this moving and informative message.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for this kind comment.

[@traceywynne9589]

I am extremely proud of you for sharing this story. You and Nell are so fortunate to have each other. :)

[@maggiekang497]

Aww thank you, Tracey! You’re the best.

[@mukeshbhakta6457]

Wonderful job Dr Kang. This will help so many families.

[@skinsecretsaroundtheworld8552]

Amazing…and such a powerful message!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for your kind words.

[@blaircailean]

This alternative lens through which to view pain and suffering is needed but is it realistic to expect that changing our thoughts can universally alleviate suffering?

[@shakiabatten3901]

This is dope. A lot of people can use this will all life concepts I will definitely continue to spread the word. Thank you

[@margekang4128]

Love this comment. Thank you, Shakia.

[@michaelpuck7897]

Maggie, such a powerful story and life-changing insights. Pain is unavoidable - suffering is optional.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for appreciating my message about pain and suffering.

[@shawnryan6310]

I so love the opening story! Had chills on the emergency room story! Fabulous job, Maggie! Great finish with Frankl!

[@maggiekang497]

Aww thank you, Shawn. Really appreciate this.

[@MomsLettingGo]

Yes! Well done. Suffering is optional. Take control of your thoughts. Choose the thought that frees the guilt, that offers acceptance. I will share this in my groups with moms who have addicted loved ones and believe it's their fault. They often suffer too.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I really hope it's helpful to your groups with moms who have addicted loves ones and believe it's their fault.

[@GastrodocMD]

Fire and heart emoji!!!

[@maggiekang497]

❤

[@tgseelig1]

This is wonderful. I'm so happy to have shared a bit of your preparation journey!

[@maggiekang497]

I’m so happy you watched the final piece. Thank you for your support, Tim. Can’t wait for your talk.

[@kaybee9679]

This is an incredible story of a mother's belief with a young child who has an incurable condition and how she endures it. it's a must-watch video for everyone who goes through adversity and how they can cope with it. Well done Dr. Maggie Kang, I salute you for putting it out there.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for sharing this comment. ❤

[@monarchforlovewithmichelle2557]

Whn we know bettre we can do better! This is an awesome concept and very delivered very well. My heart breaks for your daughters illness yet triumphs for your willingness and ability to share this with the world to help others! You are an amazing human being!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you. And so are you!

[@j.c.douglas]

I think this is an empowering approach but it might not fully capture the depth of human emotions. Sometimes the pain of our situation is overwhelming regardless of the thoughts we choose.

[@therealbobhunter]

Maggie's philosophy encourages a proactive stance in handling pain. However, can this approach be limited in situations involving chronic pain or mental health challenges, where choosing thoughts might not directly influence the level of suffering experienced? How does this align with the complexities of mental and emotional health? 🤔😕

[@maggiekang497]

Agreed, this idea may not be as applicable in cases of complex mental health challenges especially in diagnoses that involve thought disorders. Good point.

[@superc0ww]

What a powerful story and great message on not letting the pain of suffering overrun our lives!

[@margekang4128]

Thank you, Phi! 😊

[@theaddictempath]

So often I get lost in my own negative and often habitual, thought processes. Thank you for bringing clarity and achievability to such an easy trap to get stuck into!

[@maggiekang497]

I know what you mean about getting lost in negative and habitual thoughts. It was so grateful to learn there was a way out. Thank you for this.

[@standingbearhealing5265]

Beautiful and wise! Very helpful wisdom, thank you! - Rebecca

[@maggiekang497]

Aww thank you, Rebecca. ❤

[@brijpatel766]

What an extraordinary perspective and life changing tool you have shared with us! I am inspired and empowered 🙌🏼♥🙏🏽

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for this kind comment!

[@1905Adel]

Thank you for sharing This is great! I love it! I can really relate to sometimes holding back the pain. Thanks again.

[@maggiekang497]

Leda, thank you for sharing. ❤

[@dirkrenns]

This is a pretty hot take and I feel like you'd have to have a pretty powerful amount of control over your mind to follow this line of thinking. Definitely worth doing though, if you're mentally strong enough.

[@maggiekang497]

Always a work in progress. But it's better than the alternative of suffering.

[@thijsbatman8504]

Wow! That really illuminated the difference between pain and suffering. Thanks so much for sharing I know this will help all listeners.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for appreciating my message about the difference between pain and suffering!

[@lisajoneslive]

Wow, Maggie! This is such a powerful message. Well done!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@skinsecretsaroundtheworld8552]

So powerful! Love the message!

[@maggiekang497]

❤

[@LauraButlerNYC]

Wow, Maggie! You bring such a grounded presence and simple (but not easy!) solution to ease the pain of anyone who is suffering. I love your clarity, your stories, and your heart. I am so proud of you, and I'm sure Nell is as well. Thank you for sharing your and Nell's story with the world :)

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you, Laura! So appreciate this.

[@KimGodsey]

Wonderful insight on how stop suffering in the face of such uncertainty. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you!

[@iamtoddkane]

This is a great message and I relate. It is challenging to move beyond our pain if we never truly accept and deal with it. I've vacillated between the desire to suffer and the need to heal. Thank you for sharing.

[@maggiekang497]

Thank you for sharing, Todd!