The truth teller in a narcissistic family [Scapegoat children are targets for narcissistic parents]

The truth teller in a narcissistic family [Scapegoat children are targets for narcissistic parents]. Today I want to talk about the truth telling child that comes out of a narcissistic family. The one that knows something isn’t right. When growing up in narcissistic homes, children develop different ways of coping. One of the types of children that comes out of the narcissistic home is the truth teller. This type can develop from being the devalued child, scapegoated, being blamed for the family’s problems and responsibilities. These children tend to rebel and be insubordinate against the family system with a knowing that something just isn’t quite right. They know there’s something wrong with the behavior in the house. The truth teller may reach out to friends for help but if that friend hasn’t experienced narcissism they may have a hard time understanding that it’s possible for someone’s parent to treat them in such an unloving way and they could be looked at as though they’re lying.
** DISCLAIMER **
Amy Lambert is not a licensed medical professional or a therapist. She is a certified life coach.
This video is not intended to provide medical advice. Amy does not recommend the self-
management of any health problems, including mental health problems. The information
contained in this video should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation or advice of your
physician or mental health provider. Should you have any healthcare related (including mental
healthcare related) questions, please call or see your physician, licensed therapist, or other
health-care provider promptly. You should never disregard medical advice or delay in seeking it
because of something you have read or viewed here. Nothing stated or posted in Amy’s videos
is intended to be, and must not be taken to be, the practice of medical or counseling care.
Of course, posts by others in response to this video are not endorsed by Amy.

[@DF-dd5nf]

Exactly !!!! I completely agree. I love your video, thank you for being wonderful human being. These days good people are hard to find

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much!!!💜

[@mirkogiljaca1051]

Good People Grow and Grow each Day, and Many who are not so good are getting better at it. Just keep livin learnin an spreading, but slowly surely and reasonably. It is in a way, an automated, inevitable process of life. But it helps quite a bit to Tend and Steer the thing ( Life! ;DDDD) And Death. Of course. Cause it is....Life! ;DD LoL Its so simple, if i made it harder, we would have never figured out I guess...As it is we take about few thousand years per cycle to figure it out.

[@mirkogiljaca1051]

No no, haha, it can be also =Its so simple, if i made it simpler we would have never figured it out. ;D

[@theasianwitch]

Hello, this was me...I started out the golden child to my hopeful immigrant parents and then quickly became the scapegoat when they realized I wasn't going to play along with their narcissistic fantasy world. My brother became the golden child after my dad passed away because my mom has groomed him that way. It's so silly to see their behavior now as an adult, but I know my parents were extremely traumatized themselves. I hope more people can come together to talk about these things, since so many of us go through it.

[@bloocifer]

I remember first time seeing other people's parents being nice to them. It blew my mind because I thought all kids hated their parents like I did. I never had a conversation longer than 5min that didn't end up in a argument. These people were enjoying each other's company and everything. It was mind blowing. I remember thinking how much I had been robbed of. And the person I could have been if I had a family like that. And how much lighter my heart would feel..

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Yes! 💜💜💜

[@christinalw19]

😢🙏🏼🤍 I know. Blessings to you. Bet you are a wonderful parent. 😊👍🏼👍🏼

[@Verena101]

I feel you 💓

[@tinkingtinking2134]

Yes, I remember that too. I hated growing up in my house, I wanted to be anywhere but home.and spent years leaving, going back, leaving, going back, I did that with toxic relationships and friendships too. Now I spend alot of time alone because I can't do toxic anymore, I guard my energy alot from narcissist because I know what's coming.

[@Curveofthecreek]

I totally get where you are coming from. Keep moving forward and learn from the kindness of others. You are worth it.

[@leahrachel1975]

My biggest A-Ha moment was when my narcissistic parent started treating my children the way they treated me. When my children didn't conform to my parent's religious expectations, they were judged just like I had been judged. It absolutely enraged me, and I started going to therapy. Therapy was like seeing my family in all its reality for the first time.

[@joannabrites9857]

I’m angry for all the people I lost because I had no social skills. I walked around full of anger. Then trying to find a professional help is a joke in itself. Why aren’t the so called professionals educating the public.

[@kripaharris237]

This is my story When my mother was on her deathbed she was on morphine and sleeping She opened her eyes long enough to say You were a horrible child I wasn't a horrible child The next night I was meditating next to her and had an experience of a profound love filling the room I saw that she loved me deeply but for whatever reason our relationship was very difficult for her and consequently me. I saw that I was sensitive ,shy and different to the rest of the family and that was very hard for her to understand. I believe now we were together for a reason and don't blame her But the damage is still affecting my life at 66.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing your story, I love the story! Except for the part where you are still struggling now, I hope you find peace. Sending you love and healing light.💜

[@jennykelter9518]

This made me cry. The light you had in you likely was too much for her soul to sit with.

[@Verena101]

​@@jennykelter9518yes. That happens, when higher frequency souls are together with souls of lower frequency. It pushes each other away. If you are the child or in the partnetship the physical weaker person, they will or will try to hold you down and break you in every way they can and dim your light. Lower your energylevel, so that they don't feel underneth you anymore. That they don't feel small next to you, allthough you probably never said, that they are ,smaller, than you. They just feel it. And what the devil (in them, the ego) doesn't like, is, to feel smaller than anyone else. They don't realize, that they could work on themselves to cultivate more light too.

[@brittc18]

Man reading this hits home to what I was thinking about listening to this video. I love my father but sometimes I wish for the day he passes away so I will finally be free. I know now that he doesn’t mean the things he says or does and he’s a very ill person, but I want a chance at life without feeling the burden and guilt he puts on me every single day being the only kid who still talks to him. thanks for sharing your story. ❤

[@tinkingtinking2134]

When I read things like this it brings me so much clarity. Before my mum died I had what's known as a Twin Flame experience, this guy I met lend me to have an Energy healing because I couldn't shake him, I was obsessed with him, yet he carried my mother's energy which was avoident energy and it was making me crazy. While having the Energy healing I saw my mum as a child and then I started to feel her pain she carried all her life as she was sexually abused by her stepfather so this healing gave me understanding of why she was like she was towards me. I had been no contact with my parents for about 7 years when mum died, I broke no contact to see my father, it was awful, he started gaslighting me, was till dividing and conquering my sisters and I and I just saw a very bitter, old, fearful narcissist, both my parents are narcissist, double whammy. I wrote a letter to him after I got home telling him im not coming back and he replied saying " I must tell you this, your mother loved you as a daughter but hated you as a person and your sisters have never forgiven you for what you did to this family". Part of me wanted to reply, i knew he was reflecting his stuff onto me but I also knew he wanted a reaction from me. I didn't reply, I've just let it go so I can start to healing properly now. I don't miss my family, I miss what should of been and could never be. ❤ to you.

[@karenmininni4962]

This video was exactly my experience as the truthtelling scapegoat. I did not become a narcissist as the golden child did. My healing process has been long and difficult but progresses.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for leaving a comment talking about your experience! It takes courage to go down that healing path. I hope you know how courageous you are! Sending you love and light!

[@karenmininni4962]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert Thank you so much. Your words mean so much!

[@chickenlittle4014]

I’m sick of hearing healing and having to heal I want to live on a different planet

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@chickenlittle4014 okay 💜 is there something you would you rather talk about instead?

[@karenmininni4962]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert I love your reply. I can assure Chicken Little I already tried flighting to another planet! Healing takes hard work standing still.🤣

[@lauracarey2624]

Thank you for sharing this. I am the scapegoat in a family of six children. With my youngest sister and eldest brother of the family being the golden ones. Horrendous abuse directed at me since I was a very little girl. Lots of bullying and humiliation and abandonment. I relate so well to your content in this video and I admire your courage and spirit. So many AHA moments along a very lonesome path and so much healing needed to help me through the aftermath of living through such an unpleasant and heartbreaking experience. 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Blessings of love and light to you.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much for sharing some of your story, it gave me goosebumps! I love that we can come together and have empathy for each other as it was something so unattainable for so long. Sending you love and light as well! 💜🌟

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

You have described my childhood and beyond with my narcissistic family. The day I left them out of my life was the most freeing time in my life. I am over 70 now and looking back I see that the people I grew up with were horrid, even when people outside the home thought they were wonderful.

[@sundancer7381]

It's certainly true. Even today, 50 years later, it is still not appreciated. Relatives don't want to hear anything that is difficult. No one wants to hear.

[@user-uh5tb9er4o]

i will never forget how surprised i was when about 20 years after i moved out for college, my parents got pet dogs... i came to visit and my dad was showing more affection for the dog than i had ever seen him show another living thing ever... i was so shocked first and then i realized ouch he is capable of those emotions and connectivity... i understand the limitations and for my inner peace, won't be jealous because my dad isn't capable of feeling that way towards people and hey, its great he got to feel that way at all in this life time... but it really destroyed my image of every single human, equally capable of deeply connecting and nurturing one another... sigh...

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

That is a crazy experience to see them connect to an animal like that, after seeing the way they treated you! It’s mind blowing!

[@veritas1177]

I had a similar experience with my dad and my step mom's grandson. Years, decades of neglect. And then I drive hours to visit, he takes us both to where they go. It's a party of dad and the grandson. I was the same. Happy for him but also recognizing, even after all these years, I'll never have that father daughter relationship. Alot of it was bc of my controlling step mother. But whatever the reason, it's there or I should say, not there.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@veritas1177 thank you for sharing this! 💜💜💜

[@leahflower9924]

It is really weird when people treat their pets better than kids maybe because they have a deep rooted resentment towards people, I don't know

[@alexxx4434]

The truth is that narcissists are the product of damaging childhoods. They are seriously insecure inside, don't trust other people, and cope with it in expense of others, just like their parents. They demand constant external validation. The survivors of have similar wounds, trust issues, but what makes them different - they don't cope with them in expense of others. Both may prefer animal connections - because they feel more genuine.

[@bmst6162]

I found your video very comforting. And yes I do feel like I was spared from the toxic family dynamic by moving away and isolating myself. But I’m in my sixties now and finding that I have all symptoms of CPTSD. I have lots of trouble navigating my emotions and relationships. The sad part of all of this is I do believe that our brains have been damaged and our development arrested during childhood. I’m trying to re parent myself and fill my life with joy, love, happiness and contentment. For me that’s a tall order. But I’m getting there.

[@phoenixd9679]

Thank you 🙏 I am trying to brake free from family the last two abusing me mentally 💜 yes I can I’m 64 💜

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

I’m so glad you feel that you were spared! I love the part where you say, I am trying to reparent myself! That has helped me a lot as well, thinking of myself as my own mother, and what would I want for me being a loving kind mother. Sending you love and light, and remember how courageous you are for walking this healing path!💜

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@phoenixd9679 that is one of the hardest parts, breaking free! Giving yourself permission. I’m happy that you are working on what is healing for you💜

[@nancybartley4610]

I can relate to your words. I have the symptoms of CPTSD. So few therapists understand CPTSD and know how to treat it. It is impossible to find a therapist for help. Have you found one? I wish you all the best.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@nancybartley4610 💜 I have done a lot of reading, and I took a nine month psychosynthesis life coach course, which takes you through a deep healing process. As you need to go through the healing process to then help guide others to also go through the healing. I don’t think there’s a point where we are completely healed as though it never happened. I think it’s a lifelong journey. Finding healing to the point where we can see things for what they are, and catch ourselves stuck in places when before we wouldn’t have been able to do that. So things that used to highly trigger us may now only slightly trigger us being able to put love into those parts of ourselves.

[@njay4361]

Yes! My sister was the Golden Child and grew up to be a narc. She also endured SA to become the golden child. Definitely grateful I was the scapegoat and not the golden child 😪

[@JuanGonzalez-xi8fo]

Wow, story of my life. Lord, Thankyou for being with me and for giving me strength. 🙏🏽 Psalm 23

[@ejdevakar7936]

I love this video, Amy! So gLad I discovered you. I’m the scapegoat in our family of six kids. My mom was the narcissist. My father, her servant. All the stuff you talk about happened. I appreciate that you understand the emotional loneliness I live with. It’s a haunting pain. A deep heart ache of needing to be close to someone but no one is here to be close to.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

I’m so glad you like the video! I I hope you find someone to be close to. Sending you love and healing light.💜

[@ejdevakar7936]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert Thank you🙏❤️ ☀️ Um, can you make a video on how an emotionally deprived person can create closeness?

[@biteynibbles8444]

Thank you for this accurate explanation. My friends have always treated me better than my own family. When I left to college, my family physically attacked me for no longer caregiving for them & their children, kept all of my money & belongings, & called the police on me. Over a year later, I made it to my second college. I earned a Bachelors degree while living outta my car in North Hollywood. I attracted narcissistic men. The last man has insanely narcissistic family, bm, & friends. I dodged many bullets in my life. Happy & independent now more than ever. I have high tolerance for negative behavior, however I am open minded, control my boundaries, & protect myself. Im from family of 6 siblings that I now stonewall. My psychologist helps me most of all. Thanks for appearing on my youtube. Touchy subject.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Wow, thank you for sharing your story! A movie could probably be made out of your story. I’m glad you’re on the other side of things and have your psychologist for help, that’s so important! Sending you love and light on your journey.💜

[@simsim876]

You’re amazing good on you - keep blossoming 🌺

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@simsim876 thank you so much 💜

[@Verena101]

​@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert💜to you!

[@contraband1543]

The first 2 minutes of this video was like reading my horoscope. Except this was spooky accurate. I wasn't abused, slapped in the face a time or two, but not abused. Neglect is a whole different story. In ways I think neglect is worse than abuse. It fosters a burning indifference inside of you while snuffing out any thought of improvement.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

I agree neglect can be worse than physical abuse, I think neglect tends to fall under emotional abuse. I’m glad you were able to connect to the video. Thank you for watching and subscribing.💜

[@marizona8334]

What a great content . I feel identified .. I have a narc dad and I married an only Child /son of a narc mother . Imagine our burdens... we are trying to break the cycle for the sake of our well-being and that of our children ❤️

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much! I can completely imagine your burdens! I am glad to hear that “we are trying to break the cycle“ having your partner do that with you is so important! Glad to hear you have that support💜! Healthy boundaries! With narcissistic people it’s a constant holding up of the healthy boundaries, you have to teach them what those look like. When you let your guard down they weasel right back in.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad is mine, too. He has a brother who acts alike, their late mother, all of them acted as the world had to abide by their convenience, only.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad and this brother still do!

[@beatrizvignoli4053]

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear in a tough time like this, going through financial hardship for having helped my fríends and feeling tons of guilt for not having enough for myself. My youngest sister was the golden child and she is a narcissist now. No contact. Our middle sister was Dad's helper and she died at 46, totally broke. Both treated me as if I was crazy for speaking up and so did my mother, my father and my brothers. Both parents were narcissists and both are dead now. I loved my family but I had to leave them and choose better. My family now are my fríends and my cat.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m so sorry that this is what you had to go through.💜 sending you love and light on your journey🙏🏻

[@earthrooster1969]

You speak my story! Who knew so many of us have parallel lives! Thanks for having so much strength to talk about it and sharing it with all like you, us!!! My AHA moments were quite similar! I used to see how other mothers were happy is every one in her family were! My Mom wanted us to appear happy and content so she can put out the picture of a perfect family!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much for your encouragement! Also, for sharing! Sending you love and light💜

[@lydiarosebrita4901]

I agree I never realised so many people had similar experiences, it's so validating to hear!!

[@Verena101]

That's what all narcistic mothers do. It's ugly! Because kids should be able and allowed to show and be as they feel. If course still in a way where no one gets harmed through. So not aggressive like. But even this can show, that at home is something wrong. And foe adults they are allowed to show what they feel too. Just should they really so not harm others only because they feel bad. And it should be much easier for everybody to get good help, no matter if they have money or not, therefore.

[@marief3007]

This describes my experiences very very well. I have been retraumatized by therapists too because Ive been so blind to how much bad I tolerate without reacting. It’s still difficult for me to understand, Thank you so much for sharing❤

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

💜💜💜

[@elizabethhopkins7582]

This is very good. I am the Truth teller.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Hi my fellow truth teller! Thank you! 💜

[@FireOpal.]

So happy to discover your channel ❤ You’ve just described me perfectly. Although, I see ALL the red flags around me and others. I have a gut instinct which is so accurate it scares people lol. As the scapegoat child, I always was the truth teller. The only one who stood up to our parents. The only person to have my own back. I always stick up for the underdog, will even step in to protect strangers and I allow myself to take on immense amounts of stress (including other people’s problems) until I become sick. I’m told by everyone I know that I’m the strongest person they’ve ever met. I love and protect those in my small circle fiercely, yet I feel like the loneliest person in the world. Your videos validate people in such a kind way. Thank you.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing this!! Thank you! 💜💜💜💜

[@meh-hair-Vaughn]

I'm the truthteller of my family and was quickly cast-out and ostracized. I really like your videos and can relate to them a lot! It's like I see my life narrated by you every time. Thank you for your great work!

[@moniquemarshall3616]

Thank you honey. The worst part the situation is that I couldn't be myself. I was mocked and belittled. Viewed as controversial because I did not agree with them. When I was young, I hated that I was sensitive and not cold like them. Later, I became angry and mean for not being allowed to express myself. I was enraged for years. Wanting to show my true character, wanting to tell my honest opinion. Today, I feel grateful. Grateful, I can love and still desire it. Love in all forms not just a relationship. Thank you

[@RationalMysticTarot]

I was supposed to be the golden child for my mother - a project of hers that had to be the smartest, the purest, etc. I wasn't taught any real selfcare skills, I didn't have any responsibilities or chores at home because I had to study study study, everything had to be perfect or it wouldn't hold any value to her. But I rebelled against that role and was deeply self sabotaging myself for my whole life up until very recently. In my teen years I had noone to ask for advice even as I was bullied at school, had no social skills and my ability to speak and articulate myself was very affected. I was always telling the truth to her though - but by shouting and screaming, as a teenager. Self sabotage continued after I left home and then did everything against my mother's wishes. Our middle sister turned out her real "golden child" because she still hasn't told our mother the truth about her not being as pure as our mother thinks she is and constantly compares us (oldest sister and me - the youngest one) to her and how she is always helping her etc. It's very timely that you mentioned Little Mermaid. That was my favourite fairytale growing up as I associated myself with Ariel. I couldn't express myself with words, was overly shy, felt like an alien. I longed to be saved from the evil witch aka the sea hag. My dad committed a suicide because he couldn't take it anymore. My mother sucked him dry. While I was a kid i didn't see it because she was turning me against him. But now as an adult only happy childhood memories I have is about my dad. I have two children of my own and have been working with myself to heal from all of that. I have regained my voice and finally (!!) at 33 years old i can actually speak to people and look them into eye. The symbology of Little Mermaid has come up for even more because I rewatched it with my daughter and realized that I regained my voice only when I understood that the love I was looking for outside was actually within me all along - by opening my heart and feeling everything. Then I learned from my sister about all the things our mother did to her when she was a child (she's much older than me and wasn't at home when I was growing up) and I cannot look at our mother again without feeling she's a true monster. Up until a few days ago I still felt guilty for allowing myself to feel that way but not anymore. We're visiting my sister and our mother is here too and I told her my truth - partially - because she wouldn't listen and started to accuse me of not having any shame (her number 1 trigger). Next day she woke up and had lost her literal voice (as in an extreme hoarseness). That's a coincidence but to my inner child it instantly reminded of the Little Mermaid. And now this video pops up and there you mention the Little Mermaid. Unbelievable.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@RationalMysticTarot thank you for sharing, you have touched my heart 💜 ! Also a side note, I don’t believe in coincidences 😍💜 sending you love and light ✨

[@kendraheard1097]

When I found out about narcissism gave me soooooooo much validation

[@reefprayerresin]

I can't believe you said all this! This was also my life. My mother and I were close, my father the narc. She didn't stop him bashing me of a night, but for some reason I don't hold anything against her for that. I don't know why... It was pointed out to me recently, that she should have stopped him and protected me. I didn't even know that was a problem! The idea hadn't even occurred to me! I don't know why she didn't try and stop him. But on the other hand I never showed her the bruises, or explained it took me an hour to drag myself off the floor and onto my bed, because I was so injured. To me, it was all about him. My hatred of him because of the drunken abuse. He was a sniper, and he'd pick me off. And my sister was the golden haired child. And I could never work out why. I have suspected for years, that she was a narc. She cut ties with me years ago, and I just went along with it, and felt very relieved. Hearing you say the golden haired child often turns into a narc, really rang true to me, and confirms what I've been suspecting. My whole life I've been trying to work out what was the cause of dad's sudden rejection of me when I was 8 years old. I found something written on Facebook one day, that really rang true to me: "Some people try to destroy what they can't control" That hit home.... Another, was "Some people are committed to misunderstanding you"... - That was my sister! - No matter how hard and how many ways I tried to describe something, she wouldn't get it, and she'd half close her eyes, like slits, while I was trying so hard, to the extent that I'd start mispronouncong words and become tongue-tied and have to give up. I'm thinking now, that she must have known the effect she had on me, after tears of doing this, and was probably toying with me. At least I don't have to worry about seeing or hearing from her now. I remember when I was about 8, I saw my best friend and her (really lovely) father holding hands when they were walking down the street. I was horrified!!! - With her father!?...... It made me feel sick. When I asked her about it, she just spoke casually about it and explained she loved her father. I just couldn't comprehend it. Her parents were both lovely. Her mother joked all the time, and was always very affectionate to my friend. And baked biscuits! There was such a warmth in that family, that I never wanted to go home at the end of the day, and I'd stall, which was why I was always late coming home, and 'get a thrashing' because the street lights had already come on. I just wanted to be where the love was, I realise now (at 65 yrs of age). - I wasn't naughty. I was actually a normal, feeling kid. Love your channel. Thankyou.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@user-uh5tb9er4o]

i am still learning about narcissism and family systems, although i was raised within a narcissistic family system. i was the scapegoat and rebel and it suited me and that part didn't injury me (too much despite what it didn't cultivate/nurture) but what did was just how unnecessarily hurtful and interpersonally ineffective (and therefore intimidating and dangerous) folks were in my family... your video really really helps me in regaining my confidence since after being strong within my family of origin I immediately starting long destructive relationships with narcissists... getting fired from jobs or excluded from social groups and feeling like an outsider became my role... which is so not my inner desire - to be in harmony with self and other and kind so thank you for helping me feel positive again and not guilty and like i have to keep away from others

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so glad this video was able to help you in that way💜 I can relate to so much of what you said, sending you love and light .

[@Verena101]

You know, actually everybody is allowed to make mistakes once in while. So this is sad, but not unnormal. The unhealthy thing starts there, where you can Not talk about what happened and where is no willing of the people, to make it better the next time. When you feel, they can not talk, not selfreflect and not change their behaviour. When they don't understand you and when they don't care about you.

[@user-uh5tb9er4o]

thank you for your reply, it will be helpful as a checklist for communication

[@siddharthp2407]

You said it !! Thanks for speaking up!! Love from 🇮🇳🇮🇳

[@brittc18]

Of all the narcissist research I have done in my 33 years your videos actually make me feel seen and heard and comforted. Never even had a therapist do that. So thank you for being a voice for all of us.

[@traciezolman9212]

One of my, “ ah ha” moments was watching my childhood best friend’s mother parent. That horrible realization that mom is very sick & different. I remember just wanting to be or feel, “ normal “. I ended up in a couple of really bad marriages because of my ability to endure long periods of high stress. I am now in my 50’s & I am no longer supply for anyone. There is NEVER a happy ending with a narcissist. That being said, I am healing, I am ok & I am grateful for all the people that stepped in & helped me up. I am excited about my future! T.Y. for this spot on info. 💪💜✌🏼

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing your story! So glad that you were on the other side of it and that you have people who support you💜 sending you love and light on your journey!

[@scott3744]

I'm sorry they hurt you, Amy. I'm glad you're okay. Thank you for the video.

[@thescapegoatclub]

Scapegoat here!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Hi my fellow scapegoat💜

[@rexkapfhamer3583]

Wow! 100% of the statements you made were true for me! For the life of me I had to speak up when dad was abusing us. He had to make me the scapegoat so they could blame me instead of him. Even when at about age 45, I seen what a normal family could be like, I thought they were doing it wrong. (They affirmed their children when giving them discipline). BUT still following everything you said I became a bully like my dad & eventually a narcissist like my dad. (I believe I had to to keep me from committing suicide because his hatred of me & my hatred of myself were too strong so I had to put on the narcissistic “blinders”). Sad thing is that even after his death years before, I still kept on the blinders until about age 60. Then went I lost them & started to feel empathy or oneness with others, it scared me so much that I wanted my narcissism back so I wouldn’t have to “feel” what others feel. But it was too late, my eyes were opened & I felt the heavy shame of what I had done to others. Now for the last 7 years I seem powerless because narcissism gives you a sense of power. I did learn self-love though which was impossible before. It has been awesome but I still don’t know who I am. And I did set past friends aside because know one seemed “real”. Also pretty much all of my family now hates me. My mom stills sees me as the scapegoat & always sides with the rest. But she also sided with dad when he would give her double black eyes. I do not blame myself anymore but my self love is now in neutral. But neural sure beats self & other hatred. I can laugh at my mistakes & don’t blame others for my faults. But I still can’t do relationships for fear of harming them or becoming a narcissist again. I am in a “Catch 22” dammed if you do & dammed if you don’t. I am comfortable but have lost the highs. Which beats the manic ups & downs. I guessed I am thankful but still want more. Anxiety was back then my normal & I guess a residue of that feeling still exists in me. Thanks so much for description! I have never heard it so completely & concise!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for your kind words! I am so sorry that you had to grow up in that environment, and that’s what you were taught! You are so very courageous going down that path of self-assessment and finding empathy! That is not something a lot of narcissists can do in their entire lifetime! It is never too late to continue growing. I’m so glad to hear about your growth and I know how hard that path must be, thank you so much for sharing your story! 💜 sending you love and light, as you can continue your journey!

[@rexkapfhamer3583]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert I have a golden child brother who is an ultra-narcissist. I feel for him but he can never change.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@rexkapfhamer3583 That’s so sad 😞

[@hannahbanana2224]

God Bless You. Your story touched my heart. Reminds me of one of my favorite shows, My Name is Earl. You should watch it if you haven't. You deserve love, so why not give yourself the love you need. You have everything within you that you could ever need. Focus on love, and it will transform your life. I send you love.

[@rexkapfhamer3583]

@@hannahbanana2224 Thanks! It seems like like loving myself now is unobtainable. Not sure why. I was in high love for several years before Cov..d hit. But neutral is far better than negative energy.

[@JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up]

But , I don't know why we deal with loneliness, low self estme and feeling invisible later in life and pick Narciccists for frenamies to attack us more. lol .....This explains why ............I didn't know why I kept drawing pictures of a home ..........over and over for 25 years. This video was " Scary " ..spot on like watching a home movie from 1964.

[@eliascardash8154]

I just found you and this was eye opening for me. This is me to a tee. I didn’t realize how life impacting this truly was until my 40’s. I just masked it by moving away to Arizona and starting my life anew and developing my own life. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. My parents were war babies with many issues and I had empathy for them. I was blinded how their dysfunction would truly impact me. I found GOD and HE changed my life! Thanks you for sharing this.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

I am so glad you were able to change your life! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@eliascardash8154]

Thank you! Thanks for your love and kind words. God bless

[@ras9875]

I've watched 5 of your videos. It's like we had the same parents. Thanks soul sister!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

You’re welcome soul sister!! Sending you love and light! 💜

[@ras9875]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert I could be your bro. It's okay I've been called many things.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@ras9875 hahahahaha! I guess I shouldn’t have assumed! Thank you, soul Brother! 💜

[@yvonnelygo681]

My mother was filled with supressed rage that I got on with my life regardless. It resurfaced while she was living in a elderly care home. She would rage and charge at me, but I was now grown up so just walked away. I dont know why she was like that. My other two siblings were treated with affection and care.

[@debraparker1550]

Nailed it 😢

[@biancasong2624]

I grew up with a narcissistic Mom. I was blamed for everything and was always made to feel like I was the crazy one. The moment I decided I had to get away was when we were all staying with her sister (another narcissist) for the holidays and I was always the quiet one. One night all of them verbally attacked me saying I was being rude for not always being around them and that I clearly hated my family. I had a whole panic attack during this and decided that night that I had to leave even if I had no where to go. The next day I packed my bags and booked a ticket to another state for the following day. I left the house when they were gone and I never looked back, I had nothing but my peace of mind was worth it. Even now there is still a lot of hurt I have to work through but I hope it will be better one day.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry this happened! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@biancasong2624]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert thank you!

[@swissblader8037]

You are an angel. If there is a 100%-soulmate in this world then it is you. That is for sure. I hope that you bring out a lot more content because I could listen to you for hours. Kind regards from Switzerland and just:❤❤❤

[@DJCHomestay]

Exactly the same experience and feelings about it. Wow....like cookie cutter the same, and I am almost 50. I still can't believe that parents can actually put their child first and not last. Blows me away. The cop car behind you example really hit home. Well said, great video!

[@gypsyeclipse9788]

I never felt as though I belonged to the family. Even my friends asked if I was adopted. One of my friends said it was a real Cinderella story. I couldn't find a way out.

[@virginiahnjogu1774]

we are just two siblings in our home. im the lastborn and the only girl. growing up, i have always felt sth wasnt right and i was very sensitive and i recall communicating about it as young as 9 years old. i would write letters and make myself read it to my parents hoping my communication would help in changing the situation at home. ( i realised a little too late that this wasnt about to work and i stopped writing around 14) i didnt know that i have been experiencing narcissism until mid this year. and now that i do know what this uphill battle has been about, i realize that in my younger ages, i was probably a golden child for my narc dad. (my brother always felt like i was "loved" more) and to a degree, i know i was gifted all that i wanted while he was mostly ignored or denied his gifts. once i joined boarding school, at 11, my rebellious side became so evident in me. and i knew then that the strict structure at home had affected how i look at authority (i still dont appreciate authoritarianism) and yeah, i became more outspoken at home. im now 23 , I've found the importance of self-independence and self-parenting via journaling , socializing and prioritizing my talents and peace. im still under my parents' roof (im more of a lone wolf now; i limit my communication and interaction with them) and some nights, i cant help but sob out loud for the pain i have inside me. i keep going back into my past and ofcourse wondering whether i am narcissistic too since at one point in my life i was a golden child before i retrogressed into being a scapegoat/black sheep. i wonder if being parented like this may have tempered with my idea of self. if the answer is yes, i am open to healing and recovering from all the neglect wounds i have scored over the years. Sharing so much love and light to everyone feeling weighed down by pain and hurt. Its only a phase, you'll come out stronger. (and probably encourage others in the same predicament) xo. ❤️

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing this! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@osodelososos5552]

Again you described me perfectly and I’m kind of blown away! Hearing your personal experiences growing up was the most helpful and I’m ver grateful for this video. 🙏🏼💕

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you! I’m so glad it helps! 💜

[@TheGiseleraposo]

My mother destroyed and still the damage affected me and my children it's irreversible...even if you walking way it's like a eco that fallow you forever,I'm a catholic and faithful woman and so are my childrens,and my narcsist family...what can I say is not about what are you going g through but how you decide walk with...

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

It is such a long, hard road to travel. That you were able to see it for what it is, is a step in the right direction. I hope you find peace through it all. 💜

[@ladydi1210]

I remember that moment too, of seeing a friend’s mother treat her like a loved adult and not a possession.

[@andreajedlohorova6234]

Thank you for great video!

[@CFVerone]

Understand completely. Was there for a very long time.

[@fifilafleur5555]

I’m hurting and I don’t hurt people. I don’t allow them that excuse. Many narcissistic families (abusers) **choose** to abuse. It’s a choice. They know **exactly** what they’re doing.

[@aletiadupree2028]

Wow!! This is amazing!! Describes my childhood to a tee!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much! Sending you love and light on your healing journey, don’t forget how courageous you are walking this path!💜

[@ameliaannhouck2670]

Amy Lambert you are doing some great video's and it is all so sad, but your kindness comes thru and mercy knows what you had to go through in your family! I enjoy listening to you , it is calming! Thank you.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much, that means so much to me!! sending you love and healing light💜

[@TheSanityMachine33]

I wanted love and wanted us all in my family to love each other. I was the scapegoat and truth teller... the one they looked at and called crazy... for speaking about the abuse and dysfunction and denial... (and alcoholism... and violence etc.) I think both of my parents were Narcissists... different types. In adulthood my mom said we "had it too good.. just spoiled kids..." and denied the abuse my sisters and I endured. Denied his alcoholism... denied her own role too... wasn't accountable. Thank you for sharing this. I"m grateful to find your videos. *Hugs* I'm sorry for what you went through... Much love to you.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much! My heart goes out to you as well! Thank you for sharing your story! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@TheSanityMachine33]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert Welcome and thank you. You are amongst friends here! I can tell by the comments. It takes courage to open up and make these videos. Thank you for doing that. You're helping people. And thank you for replying to comments too. A lot of KZbinrs these days don't ever reply to any comments at all.... Anyway, you are doing very needed work. Bless you. P.S. you have a lovely voice that seems to reflect what kind of heart you have. You deserved better... We all deserved better in terms of childhood and family. I hope you are having a nice weekend. I'm glad I found your channel! I shared it with my girlfriend because her mom is in therapy for PSTD from childhood... and her siblings are in denial.. etc. I'm hoping she watches your videos because I can tell she's a truth teller in her family and not weak.. she was the one they viewed as crazy for speaking about what really happened with the abuse! I told her she's strong.. and validated that she speaks the truth...(they let on she's the weak one) Once again, Thank you! Love the way you speak the truth so calmly and in a caring way.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@TheSanityMachine33 oh my gosh, my heart, your words are so kind, and I appreciate them more than you know! You are very intuitive, and the courage I have to gather together is real! But it’s people just like you and the comments that you leave, that keep me going! Because you guys are the whole reason I’m doing this, I want everyone who’s been through this trauma to find healing and peace!💜💜💜

[@TheSanityMachine33]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert You're doing very well making these videos and you truly are amongst friends! Personally... I'm much a much better writer than a public speaker (i'm introverted and a bit shy and nervous about speaking to an audience... I got stage fright bad in elementary school doing a school Christmas play... where they pressured me to be the lead role of Tiny Tim. hehe. I didn't have a big growth spurt until later on in High school... and also I had to sing in front of the Church for Confirmation. Just me and another kid, Chris... so I was probably traumatized for life by seeing hundreds of eyes staring at me) So much of what you said in the video hits home... In 10th grade my mom wrongfully accused me of "being on drugs." She said she looked through my backpack and found this... and she held up a tiny ziplock bag of white powder... She really thought I was on cocaine! Meanwhile... it was for a school project for Accounting class. We had to do a skit with a partner. My skit was a play on James Bond... (Bond.. Stocks and Bonds) It was my partner's idea... since he was a James Bond fan. Anyway, I played the criminal and I had packets of BAKING SODA in small ziplock bags (not cocaine!) I told my mom that i'm not on drugs... that it was for a school project. She said "LIAR!!!!" and hit me across the face. I told her to taste it... told her to put a bit on her finger. It's baking soda. She never apologized. She just went on like the false accusation, Liar, yelling, hitting.. never happened. She was never wrong... no matter what. My dad was much worse in terms of physical violence and verbal abuse.. name calling... swearing.. being drunk and nasty and just an overall raging alcoholic. I wondered at times if he was demonically possessed. I'm sharing all of this with you... not to cry victim... but to let you know that you're helping people open up and share their stories (as I see in the comments here) It takes courage to be nervous and still speak up or share what you've been through and try to help others. You're awesome! :) I love that you're helping people. Have you ever looked into the Myers-Briggs 16 personality types? (i'm an INFP type... known as 'the healers' or "the dreamers'... Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) there are free personality type tests online... and it's really interesting stuff. I found it helpful for understanding myself better and loved ones (like my girlfriend... ) who took the test. I'm not *super* into it obsessively or anything like that... but it's another piece of the puzzle so to speak in terms of understanding life, myself, others. hehe. Anyway.. sorry for rambling on! Have a fantastic week. You really are doing an awesome job! You can relax with us.. You're amongst friends! ❤

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@TheSanityMachine33 thank you so much, your words are healing! You had to deal with narcissism from both your parents, that is so terrible, and I’m so sorry, it sounds like it was absolutely brutal! I’m so glad that you have gone through so much healing and come out on the other side! I have not taken that personality test, but I actually did pull it up last week and read about a bit. I do plan on taking it, I have a feeling I’m the same as you, which from reading about it gave me that idea. If you would’ve told me when I was a kid that I would be speaking in front of thousands of people, I would’ve never believed it, my worst fear was talking in general. So this has been great for me in that way that I’ve been able to overcome my biggest fear. Thank you so much for sharing all of this!💜

[@kendraheard1097]

Wow THAT IS CRAZY WHEN U SAID U WENT TO A FRIENDS HOUSE AND SEEN HOW HER MOTHER WAS!!!!...I LITERALLY EXPERIENCED THIS WHEN I WAS 17...I STARTED HANGING OUT WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND THEIR FAMILY AND STARTED GO TO CHURCH AND SEEN HOW HER FAMILY WAS I WAS SHOCKED.... NEVER KNEW INTERACTIONS LIKE THAT EXISTED!!!

[@darkengine5931]

A lot of that resonated with me although I seem to have largely mitigated the desire to perceive myself as a victim. Some of that might have been the result of my most formative childhood years being spent in Japan. In Japan, we have this common saying called "shouganai" (しょうがない) which is very difficult to translate in English. Crudely translated, it's like, "We can't do anything about it," yet the tone of such a crude translation might sound dismissive of one's own grievances. It's more like, suppose it's raining outside, and someone complains a lot about it and paints themselves like victims of the rain. The "shouganai" mindset would reinforce that it's an exercise in futility to complain about it and get so upset about it, since we're not gods able to control the weather. Instead we should seek the metaphorical umbrella (something we can control), or maybe even find the positive in the situation like the beauty of a raining day. That helped me a lot to endure the harshest times growing up, although it sometimes has the negative effect of tempting us to stifle the most genuine of our complaints that might need to be shared for us to properly heal. I find the trickiest thing in all of this is finding the right balance to everything.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for leaving a comment! I’m glad you didn’t end up stuck in a victim mindset. It takes a strong person to be able to not do that, especially when you’re raised by a parent who teaches you how to do that. Yes, finding the balance in everything seems to be the hardest part and the most beneficial. Your saying “shouganai” reminds me of the saying “it is what it is” it’s common here, sounds like it’s the same meaning.

[@darkengine5931]

​@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert "It is what it is" also seems to be a good and concise translation. Also maybe the phrase, "shit happens," to some extent! 😀 What adds a bit more depth to such sayings here to avoid mere apathy or resignation towards difficulty is that Japanese culture was heavily shaped by Buddhism in its past. So there's the dichotomy of control aspect as found in philosophies like Buddhism or Stoicism where the emphasis is on tying our happiness to the things within our control, and not those things outside our control. The goal is to liberate our emotions from the things hopelessly outside our control but still try to seek ways to focus on the things we can control. I think if there is a strength in my refusal to see myself as victim or let others treat me that way (although it came with its share of faults), it probably came from taking care of my little sister. Before my parents divorced, they were constantly fighting. So my little sister would often break down crying, scared to death as my mother and father shouted each other at the top of their lungs, and sometimes with my mother grabbing a kitchen knife and waving it around. I'd then grab her and lock her inside of our room when that happened and try to cheer her up. I was just as stressed out and afraid as she was of the situation but I couldn't show it because she was younger and I wanted her to comfort her and not contribute to her panic. So I learned to pretend to be strong even when I wasn't and learned to tell people who were panicking that everything was going to be okay even when I had doubts just as strong, or even stronger, than they did. I would find whatever tears and anger and overall weakness I had expressed in the very rare moments when I was completely alone so as to not panic those who looked up to me.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

@@darkengine5931 I love those teachings of focusing on the things you can control and letting go of the things you have no control over. The story of your sister made me tear up as I can relate to that so much. My sister is 13 years younger than me, and when she was three, our parents had one of their knockdown blowout fights, for the entire weekend. So I also took her to my room and kept her there the whole weekend. I would tell her to just stay put and I would run downstairs to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as fast as I could to run them back upstairs. Your sister was very lucky to have you there for protection, it’s so sad and so painful going through those types of situations. I think it’s great that you’re able to take those situations and pull out the parts that make you stronger like holding onto the courage, even when you feel you didn’t have courage.

[@darkengine5931]

​@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert My little sister was a measly 2 years younger. She's doing so well now with a husband and a daughter! She lives in the US since she became more acclimated to American culture than I did. I kept yearning to go back to Japan so we live on opposite sides of the world now as adults. I think one of my weaknesses that I inherited though is that I found a lot of whatever strength, or pretense of strength becoming strength in action, through lost people. It's like I'm just as lost as they are, but I have to pretend to know the way they look on me for guidance. So I became addicted a bit to people even more lost than I was for friends and especially lovers, since they summoned a side of me that would pretend to know the way and somehow find the way... because I couldn't afford to express how lost I was too when they looked to me to know the way. I still have this unhealthy addiction. I don't find much strength or leadership qualities on my own until I find someone who is so lost. Then I pretend to know the way, and somehow find the way, when I'm with someone so lost. I like what such people bring about in me. Whatever strength I possess seems to manifest when I'm surrounded by those most hopelessly weak; I'm not a strong person who pretends to know the way when I'm surrounded by strong people or on my own. But give me someone so hopelessly lost, and I seem to find a side that pretends to know where to go, and somehow manages to find it. I became the strongest when I find others at their weakest, so to speak.

[@darkengine5931]

​@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert 13 years is also a huge diff! I can't quite imagine having a sibling that much younger than me. One thing I got with mine was really getting into cooking. Especially when I returned to the US to live with my mother as a freshman in high school while my sister was in middle school, my mother was working 2-3 jobs at a time. My mother was constantly overwhelmed and I think often seeking out boyfriends to alleviate her burdens. There's a sympathetic side to her struggles even if she might have been a most narcissistic, or at least most irresponsible, parent despite her gaslighting and scapegoating on us as her kids. So my mother mostly stocked the freezer with endless TV dinners and microwave foods. Hungryman was my absolute favorite; I lived off Hungryman. And sometimes she'd order a Domino's pizza and leave a note on the fridge. But my little sis hated all this food (I didn't mind it) so I started getting into cooking for her. I developed a lot of cooking skills reading books from the public library and learning how to handle the chef's knife. Even got into French cooking with Escoffier's Le Guide Culinaire, and I would make the fanciest French dishes for her. It's kind of a lifelong passion now and I really enjoy it. But I really miss taking care of my little sister sometimes like that; brought out the best in me. When I became a bachelor later in university, I barely cooked like that. I would make like a mustard sandwich for myself between classes and eat a spoonful of mayonaise and eat some turkey ham for protein (just eat the slices straight out of the fridge, don't even bother to put together a sandwich). I don't really have the motivation to take care of myself nearly as much as taking care of other people. My wife sometimes teases me saying I need a more needy woman than she is. I wasn't the type so ill-mannered to talk about ex-girlfriends on our dates, but we were friends long before we got together including when I was dating all these other women, and when she was dating all sorts of other men. And she's observed, unfortunately, that I tend to be at my best when other people need me most which is truer than it should be. She's the least needy woman I've ever met and so I want to bring out the best to her, since I love her more than anything in the world, but I'm not always as motivated as I was with my most needy exes. I tend to make that analogical mustard sandwich more often with her than tapping into what I learned from Escoffier. Whatever strongest side I have seems to manifest when I'm surrounded by people at their weakest, and so I often struggle to summon that side around my wife who is already so strong.

[@law11school11girly]

It’s really hard to be the truth teller when you don’t want to see the truth ❤❤❤

[@karenkjartansdottir8361]

❤Your words are very comforting and 😢at the same time. Very good description of my experience 😢 Thank you ❤

[@ghostagee5232]

Can't believe how someone who doesn't know me can be this accurate! Beyond words.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you 💜 sending you love and healing light

[@stefanipfeiffer1837]

Thanks.

[@sirvicemanone]

Thank you , I also see myself as this child.i am the eldest of 4 children As a result of turning to Christianity at 14 (because of the love it spoke about which I desperately wanted and needed) from Judaism I was kicked out of my parents home at 16 being told I was dead and no longer a part of any family,along with having a knife to my chest by my screaming mother explaing how she gave me life and could take life away.... and have been on my own it is now 51 years since the day. Now at 67 I find myself trying to reach out to my youngest brother who is deeply confused and troubled and does not understand how he is held back in his life but does not want to look at or discuss the problem. He is a "Golden Child" he has 3 degrees and has had a mostly successful life which is in jeopardy now. I am going to look into this more as I did not even know that my situation could be real and understood. Here is a small example you asked for illustrating what I had to live through. A small example of my abuse. Each night at dinner when the family was manditorally together my mother would often point at a white painted wall and say "I say this wall is black what color is the wall?" and then go around the table starting with my stepfather my 2 brothers and my sister asking each in turn what color the wall was to which each one would answer "black" I was allways last and to me it was false (and I was constantly for years called a "liar" and a "pathological liar") I would answer that the wall was white (which it was in truth) I would then be yelled at cursed at and threatened finally sent to my room as I would not nor could back down to this abuse. This went on so many times I have more examples that even at 67 still run thru my mind or similar types of conversation trigger my experience again . Anyway I hope this is helpful I hope anyone else with similar experiences has found or is looking for help . God bless you all . ♥️

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing your story! It means a lot! You are not alone and you are understood 💜 It’s a very long, hard, courageous road that you’re on. I have another video called “childhood to adulthood” that explains narcissism, what it is and how it affects us, it might be something you’re interested in🙏🏻💜 sending you love and light on your healing journey!

[@sirvicemanone]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert thank you for your kindness

[@singstreetcar5881]

Other children in the family were allowed to misbehave and do drugs,get suspended from school, get drunk, get arrested etc, i was a kind loving well behaved child who got good grades at school, stayed out of trouble etc and i was still treated so badly. I was ganged up against and mobbed and attacked

[@smoozerish]

My heart aches for the both of us for what we had to endure and overcome with our families

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you! Sending you love and healing light💜💜💜

[@karl9617]

Thank you so much for this, I have been feeling this way for quiet some time and going to see a professional to help me move from this within my life and family.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

💜💜💜

[@richardfrank4647]

Wow you just described me too a tee🌈🌈I’m 59 just came through out of relationship w a narcissist we’re I had to change to get out 2 months out also discover my whole family narcs and I am scapegoat of family wow is it normal to be confused and exhausted it seems like was healthier in it, this stuff is overwhelming 🌈🌈God bless you sister

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you! I’m so glad you are realizing all that you’ve been through! That’s so helpful in being able to move forward! God bless you too, sending you love and light!💜

[@bgp7287]

Oldest of 5 needed to hear this

[@lulumoon6942]

So very many in my life have worked overtime to get me to stop telling truth.

[@Kelly-oe8kr]

I agree with everything in this video except that ‘hurting people hurt people’ it feels a little victim blaming, hurting people inadvertently lash out at others but that’s not what we are talking about with a narcissist. Narcissists are cruel and deliberately target and relentlessly victimise their target, it isn’t one time behaviour, it’s mean-spiritedness for the sake of being mean-spirited. Hurting people hurt people but abusers deliberately abuse people, narcissists are blatant abusers who know exactly what they are doing.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

There are different levels and severities of narcissism in people. It stems from their own trauma in childhood, I was trying to give that perspective, that they were hurt at one point. But I completely agree with you and this can come across as minimizing the victims experiences with a narcissist. Thank you for bringing this up 💜 I will definitely think harder about those words in the future.

[@GoogleUser-wy2vv]

Yes I understand what you're saying because not all hurt people choose to hurt others

[@anthonydileonardo8156]

You hit the bullseye ...thank you

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

You are welcome! Thank you!💜

[@PoppyFields]

Wow, this is exactly spot on!! I was the neglected, teased, beaten down scapegoat with a golden child brother. Except when I started to become very successful as a young adult my parents all of sudden became interested in me showing praise? And now I feel like my brother has become the scapegoat? I hate it because it all feels so disingenuous.

[@susananastasiastavros1402]

Amy, I watched a previous video and now I watched this one on the scapegoat rings bells of truth, what hurts is that even though both my narcissistic parents have passed away, every time my son calls me, he speaks to me like my father did, and I respond with anxiety and get stressed out, with shame. I am 70 and I walked a real tightrope to be here...but now it is coming smashing in my face like broken glass. I have been watching CPTSD..and your videos are refreshing.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Your words means so much to me, thank you! I am so sorry for the anxiety you experience with your son, I know that’s painful! I hope you can find peace and healing 💜

[@ginamortellaro-gomez1023]

Great video and spot on information👏🏼!! Thank You so much!!🙏🏼

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching 💜

[@michaelmessenger24]

You've described my entire personality & life

[@seykai]

Thank you so much for your videos!! 🙏🙏 I don’t know if what I am going through is real or not… but your information and personal anecdotes are helping so much. ❤️ Thank you! I’ve been watching many of your videos. :)

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you! 💜

[@onlyonce1707]

Thank you! You explain this situation so well. I'm a truth teller too.

[@Jizzle76]

Amy this is good content and you seem like a lovely and wise person. But what is your advice for people who are stuck in their family environment with no hope of it changing? I’m sure you know that all this wisdom means very little when it has to take a back seat each time you see or speak with the family that is abusing you

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this environment! I suggest finding a psychologist that specializes in narcissism. There is much to work through, it won’t be anything I can do here in the comment section. Again, I’m so sorry, sending you love and light.💜

[@ButterflyB127]

Dr. Ramani ‘s KZbin channel and Dr. Carter’s Surviving Narcissism channel each have info and suggestions on how to deal with these difficult narcissistic and toxic people if you’re stuck with dealing with them in your life. 💜💜

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

Hello, present ✋🏼

[@user-uh5tb9er4o]

im going to refer to myself as an E'scape goat bc I escaped the web of misery!!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Yes! I love this! This is great💜

[@angelika87]

I think this is why my parents prevented me from going to school friend's houses...their sickness would've been more obvious.

[@srmillard]

I dated a truth teller in a narc family and she herself was a narc

[@InvictEUs]

Heh yeah, my narcissistic mother did a number on me, so I cut the contact and left finally, and been on this quest to find my purpose and myself from within as you mention. Been on it for years unsuccessfully so far. I hope once I get clear on it, I'll be able to overcame that typical feeling of "not enoughness".

[@itsmeelguapo]

So much truth----I am not the only one!!

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

you are not alone! 💜💜💜

[@c.guinevere]

I've been them all. Golden child, scapegoat, peace-keeper, truth teller. Lol. What a mess. I guess being them all was a blessing which taught me that in truth I AM NONE OF THEM.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Yes!💜💜💜

[@Jesusblowsme666]

Hearing this reminds me of how being misunderstood was a huge trigger for me.

[@robertfitzgerald9242]

Years ago I got a call from my father telling me our Christmas dinner was being moved up to the 23rd of December due my sisters visiting their husband and fiance's family in Milwaukee. I asked what time do you want Renee to be there.....he clears his throat and say I cannot bring my girlfriend because we were not engaged or married. Even though we never went to that dinner. We broke up in February. I don't blame Renee one bit

[@baronfogle7585]

Well . . . You just read my mail! I was definitely the scapegoat and all I've been able to think about lately is becoming an entrepreneur so I could be independent of all the drama and backstabbing that can take place in a workplace.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

💜💜💜

[@mirkogiljaca1051]

We the Humanity Warriors(Truth tellers!) Unite! ;D Loved it, Amy. Great Work, thank you.

[@ibabechanel]

6:35 THIS, the deep sadness.... it's indescribable.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Sending you love and healing light💜

[@ibabechanel]

@@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert Thank you.

[@MegaVince09]

Great job ❤Thanks!

[@BigHeartNoBS]

Thank you so much for this! ❤️

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

💜💜💜

[@dinovugic7701]

Hi, great video and very well spoken. I had similar Aha moment when i met my girls parents; i was very anxious because i thought every family is malicious but they were kind to each other and supported each other. It was kind of a shock!

[@411w44]

Wow! You said it all, thank you for putting it into words ❤❤

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

💜💜💜

[@themysticmuse]

Raises hand.🙄 Narc mum. Full blowner. Psychopathic. Sociopathic. The dark triad. Pure evil.😬 Told the fam, what was why, this past spring. They all turned against me. Helped me 'move'. They helped me, alright.... Threw away everything I own(ed.) Every, damn, thing.🙄 I don't even have socks and underwear, anymore, for Christ'sake. What the hell is wrong with some ppl?? EVIL. Pure and simple. Such a joke. 'Family'. 😬🙄 This one, anyway.... I disown them all. They can all kick rox. Big, heavy, sharp ones!🤭😂😁 All in all, it's oddly, been a blessing, at the end. (As discussed here.) Seriously though, great vid! I can attest to all this! Nailed it!! You got my sub, beautiful lady! ❤️🥰😘

[@themysticmuse]

The kicker?? (Just have to add) All this went down about 2 weeks, after I was diagnosed with cancer in my spine. I guess they couldn't wait to throw all traces of me away.... Guess what, bishes?? I'm still alive and kickin'. 😂😂😂

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Oh my gosh! Thank you for sharing your story! And I’m so sorry that this is what you went through! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@baritunde]

Everything you stated described my experience. It's uncanny.

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

💜💜💜

[@thesehandsart]

Wow. You nailed it and now I'm a subscriber. Thank you for your validating content❤️

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for your comment, I’m glad it helps! 💜

[@contraband1543]

And I subscribed. Mainly for the sheer amount of effort you are putting into these replies. You are a really helpful person

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you so much I appreciate you!💜

[@alexwright9228]

It’s astonishing to hear this openly said and understood . It’s such a crutch to have to go back into yourself to childhood ,opening doors at adolescent stages of your life . And then having to find the events, circumstances, words , etc that traumatized you . And, having the ability to address them , all while your present life is moving forward. While everyone else’s steps are forward you have to go back in order to see the same progress. Your psyche not allowing you to move due to mislead perception of yourself you’ve grown to have . From a parent that never made you feel wanted in the first place. ☺️But, it’s life you know

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing this, you say it perfectly! Sending you love and healing light💜

[@Verena101]

And now we have to learn to put ourself on the first place in our lives. With love. That WE have enough energy and health to share love with others. 💓🌞

[@karlad4082]

This sounds eerily familiar. You literally just described my life growing up. I also felt like something wasn’t right in my family, and I felt that way through out my entire life. So much that I’m completely estranged from my family now, but I feel better that way. Thank you for your videos and insight into this topic 🙏

[@Self-Discovery_Amy_Lambert]

Thank you for sharing! 💜

[@1OssoBuco]

Love your videos and insights. Thank you (btw a quality mic will go a long way)

[@margiegibbs8479]

Thank you!❤❤❤