Truth Teller Vs. Narcissist

Truth Tellers are often involved in narcissistic relationships and get very frustrated if they cannot expose the harm that is being done to them or to others. But is telling the truth always good. Yes...to healthy people, but not to a maladaptive narcissist. This will help you understand how to tell the truth in a way that does less harm and more good. More peaceful and less destruction.

[@nathanosterhaus]

Yep, I'm a truth teller and I definitely paid the price for it. Learned the hard way. My own family ganged up on me and took me down. They couldn't stand that I'm a one man army and shine so bright. I got locked as well. We battled in court and I lost legally, but really, I became even stronger than all of them put together. I have now cut them out of my life completely. Better late than never. Cheers to brighter days! Thank you for this video!

[@Danny-Stylish]

It Is sad, but that's how some people "work" they can Cleary know there Is a big problem in the realationship dinamic yet somehow they get angry if you don't want to be part of it and finally progress.

[@DisEnchantedPersons]

I have seen so many narcissist in upper management and law enforcement that I assume everyone is a narcissist.

[@djomegaminus]

The top is filled with mostly narcissists. They are the ones who want power.

[@user-nk2ub1hd2p]

Nikas Neuro nuggets talked about this! I believe she talked about her military background and leaving to pursue her masters in psychology due to what she was there.

[@eriomnyc6073]

I work in fashion and they are everywhere !

[@Dptransom4u]

I had to go no contact because I didn't realize that "not telling the truth" was an option - especially when telling the truth simply got me branded as a liar. So, I would tell the truth harder. It was an awful vicious cycle that went on for decades. I finally broke. I had to back away and scream at the sky for a few years. Now I want nothing to do with my mother. Backing away simply caused the smear campaigns to increase. My relationship with my siblings is now extremely distant. I'm so angry at the injustice of it all and I really struggle to move beyond the ruminating. Things will improve for a little while, and then a new "flying monkey" appears out of nowhere to ask how I could be so cruel to my own mother. (sigh) Thank you for the video. It was helpful!

[@maryjoyelmhc]

So sad this happened to you and you learned the hard way like I did. I'm so glad this helped. You get the full meaning of how telling the truth to a destructive person can be harmful. Not always but it has the potential for the narcissist to turn the truth around yo make you look like the liar. Many people have to take lie detector tests from private detectives to prove their truth. It is a huge expense. No contact is the best way to not have a negative impact from a sociopathic person.

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

I find when dealing with Narcs - know what type a narcs your dealing 1st. Then apply the appropriate way to tell them the truth. Sometimes it’s strong boundaries, being bluntly direct, follow through with your truth. This is very,very effective. This really works with most narc types because they can literally see the boundaries you put in place & your truth clearer by following through. It’s like dealing with an child. Also know when to hold and when to fold .

[@audreydugan9668]

Nice to hear - thanks. Truth telling has a consequence - a backlash - sometimes bad, sometimes terrible but always a backlash.

[@johnkennedy1242]

Definition of Irish diplomacy ; To tell a man to go to Hell in such a way that he will look forward to the trip.. Dublin, Ireland

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Thank you for your comment. That’s an insightful and humorous look at how to tell the truth without exposing yourself to the consequences of the collateral damage a narcissist may inflict.

[@pinkazure808]

👍 That's clever.

[@reneejames3325]

I will never support abuse! Imma open my mouth!

[@RubensteinRNerisma]

The distinction between reacting in wisdom rather than fear or anxiety was extremely enlightening and confirming. thank you so much!

[@kristinmeyer489]

I learned this before I ran away to college. My therapist also encouraged me to be more selective with what I said and to pick my battles. This is why my mother recruited a former acquaintance of mine to spy on me under pretext, so that she could have me analyzed by one of her flying monkeys. They put me in the gang stalking psychological torture program. Most of my "life experience" has been in being someone else's toy. I never hated anyone until after being interned deliberately in hell. I deserved to live my healthiest life, not to be taken down by criminals for the sake of blood money.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Thank you for your candor and insight that will help others, too!

[@kristinmeyer489]

@@maryjoyelmhc You're welcome. Since I've been intentionally alienated by way of mass betrayals, human trafficking trauma, and other abuses no one BUT another targeted individual could possibly EVER understand, where all relationships I once had were infiltrated and destroyed for the purpose of isolating me and magnifying the devastating effects of this form of life abuse, I'm grateful that I have this platform with which to express to complete strangers that this phenomenon is real, and to anyone who once knew a much healthier person with ambition that I no longer have, that this is what happened to me, and its happening to COUNTLESS OTHERS whom the DOJ patently refuses to help, or even acknowledge.

[@mr.awesomeausten3456]

These are reasonable things that truth-tellers tend to be clueless about

[@JeanneMarieViviani]

I am always so impressed with your work Mary! The clarity of what is a narcissist and how to engage with them (or not). I prefer to remove myself from those situations and people

[@bonnielewis4797]

This was terrible to hear. MARY, I don't think you get that HONESTY and TRUTH is "our purpose" for many of us and worth the consequences. Learning to deal with the consequences is part of of our "path" and GROWTH. Once I get stronger than the fear of consequences I GET MY LIFE. This message is about how to "react" or "be at the effect of" the narcissist. I would like to to think about coming from the place of the TRUTHTELLER knowing she/he can be herself OUTLOUD and deal with it.

[@virginiaplowman7261]

Hi Bonnie, I absolutely agree with your comment. If you can't be truthful, then you need to completely get away, otherwise you are living a lie, and that in and of itself causes emotional, spiritual, psychological, and physical somatic damage. Be as wise and diplomatic as possible.Yes, there can be consequences;however, if you discern that the consequences are that steep, don't say anything, but you need to run away not walk regardless of who you are dealing with. I sort of feel gaslighted.

[@yoyoma17]

You are spot on. If people will try to destroy you for telling the truth then you are clearly on to something, and at the very least on to the fact that you were raised, or found yourself within, a very sick place with sick people that you need to escape from. I've found those sick people do not want to become healthy, in fact they have found a way to live within the illness.

[@lisahagan2851]

I did not know this. This turns my thought process right on its head. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. It is so important and you deliver it in a way that doesn't make me feel dumb.

[@jadeoshaunessy8407]

This woman is soo confused Like the rest of us we learn about narcissm

[@CanadianBear47]

Oof new sub. Interesting start off yeah i have been there martha u are so not alone. Even tho she is gone saying it is nice

[@SWS1493]

This is spot on. Everything you said is true from my experience. Thank you!

[@maryjoyelmhc]

You are so welcome

[@Joshdifferentvlogz]

I learned this too late as a truth teller 😅. Great video 💯

[@maryjoyelmhc]

But the good news is Josh. You know it now I’m glad it helped for you in the future. I had to learn it the hard way to. Happy new year

[@sirrantsalott]

Being diplomatic with the truth is the only thing I agree with. This is why you do tell the truth AFTER you’ve gotten the local authorities involved. Also the way in which you started the presentation by conveying that telling the truth is a “bad-let me slap your hand” in a judgy way is a complete diminishment for those whom the truth in fact did set them free or for whom the truth might. You cannot speak for everyone based on your anecdotal experience that really only applies to you. This is highly unprofessional and it is enabling abusive behaviour.

[@CanadianBear47]

Being assertive without calling them names, mental health provider how they reacting not well, i am not surprised tho and proud fine it will be a solo effort

[@CanadianBear47]

I guess ill get screwed and i am not surprised at least now mostly just angry

[@pinkazure808]

Thank you. I found this video to be really helpful.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Glad it was helpful!

[@dianaschramer5065]

Protective, not corrective. Great advice.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Thank you! You understand the concept well and it works.

[@DevonODay]

This is so good MJ!

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Thank you, Devon!

[@lulumoon6942]

This is a measured, wise approach, thank you.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@CanadianBear47]

I play into their game if i am no comppassion, and yet u just want others to c them as they r. How is using salt and pepper different than apeasment?

[@nicolinadoe6427]

Not what i think about when i think about truth telling in family dynamics...

[@CanadianBear47]

Gee mom lols when just say huh weird Man do i feel that shit

[@julianbud7334]

So what you mean is they can't handle the truth.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Yes. If it doesn’t line up with a truth that serves them they don’t accept it. Even when facts are presented, they will dispute, dismiss or twist the facts with their own maladaptive manipulation.

[@sirrantsalott]

Nah I don’t agree with this. This is the coward’s way out.

[@aaliyahscott9523]

What I though Until i got gaslit, friends turned against me, sport ruined. If you have to call them out constantly it means some part of you doesn’t believe it yourself

[@aaliyahscott9523]

This is still valid though and its good to want to fight for your worth

[@Danny-Stylish]

We can find even a small useful information I several ways.

[@kevinm8865]

This woman is spreading cowardly advice. I hope she's not a "Christian". What she's peddling is anti-christ behavior. Fight for right and justice. Every coward that goes along with wrongdoing becomes a part and CHAMPION of the wrong being done.... especially when you're in a position to speak up. Bad people thrive where cowards abound. Not saying you need to go out looking for fights but if you are in the presence of wrongdoing you have an obligation to speak on it.

[@andreariegler]

This comment can be taken as a huge gaslight

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Many people who are truth tellers learn when to do it and when to withhold. The only reason I have told the truth over the years was with the expectation and hope that they would realize the problem and make a change. Now I only tell the truth when I think there is the chance that someone has the humility to receive it and want to make a change. I depend on the Holy Spirit when to speak and when not to. Some were monsters for hearing the truth I removed myself so that I don't turn into an inauthentic person. People who refuse to hear the truth will never change and it is not worth it to remain friends with them. I am glad I experienced these monstrous responses from time to time because it taught me what kind of people act like this, I can discern it before they act like this. Their basic character and body language inform me how they will react to any correction.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Beautifully said. You get it. .

[@kevinm8865]

I don't have a livelihood to protect on KZbin so I'm going to say this advice is partially helpful but also likely to be damaging. DO NOT listen to her advice. Have a backbone, integrity and dignity. Her advice is akin to telling someone who is part of a mob/group to suppress their voice of reason and go along with the mob. So sad that this is where we're at. 💩🤡

[@Rflower1]

I'm tired of everyone being a therapist or life coach. She is giving contradictory information from other therapist. Her analogy of a tv isn't the norm. This is cowardly session.

[@BriHullender]

Is this advice to lie? I don't agree with dressing up the truth. Nor lying by omission.

[@maryjoyelmhc]

Not at all to lie, but to tell your truth and a less inflammatory reactive way. Calm responses and then just walk away. The best thing to do always with all narcissist is go no contact.