The Two Ronnies - 'London Rail Stations' sketch

One of my favourite sketches. Written by Kit Galer.
Follow him on Twitter: @KitGaler
Here's one of his Twitter poems.
"Some people think that it’s OK,
Quite edgy, just a shade risqué,
To pose in sweatshirts which display
The maker’s name, FCUK.
Such jokey lads' indignity,
Doesn’t hit the spot for me.
My cutting edge of crude would be
A T-shirt by CNUT."

[@PercyPruneMHDOIFandBars]

To be honest, I think the genius of the Ronnies is the joy of the wordplay. Especially from Ronnie B. That man was incredible!

[@steveluckhurst2350]

Erm. Sorry to burst your bubble, but they didn't write it!

[@PercyPruneMHDOIFandBars]

@Steve Luckhurst: I'm not saying they did. Although, Ronnie B DID actually write some of their work, as Gerald Wylie.

[@alansmith4729]

With respect , who have we today that is actually funny and clever. Thank goodness we can enjoy funny humour and sad we have to go back many years to enjoy it.

[@manosparavida3551]

It's rather bleak these days on the sketch show front. For me the last sketch show I found thoroughly amusing was, The Fast Show. Some of the Harry and Paul stuff was also very amusing, but otherwise there's very little remotely side-splitting these days.

[@christinet5891]

For anyone interested, my son and I counted 55 railway stations mentioned in this brilliant sketch. We could have missed even more!

[@yamato9790]

Yeah, you might count 55 stations but You would have lost counting 25000 Street names in Central London only

[@TheClockwise770]

I made it 53 but Ronnie Barker reeled off 4 or more in succession in the last minute so I'm sure you're correct.

[@grantofat6438]

As an outsider, I had no idea what this sketch was about.

[@Sam_Green____4114]

They missed out Effingham Jnc !

[@jamessky9155]

I have watched this dozens of times since I first saw it two weeks ago, I just love it. On this latest view I just picked up ''Epping'', haha. Very good. I saw your comment so I thought I would count myself. I too got 55. I think there is one I didn't catch. Even a station I live a few minutes walk from gets a mention.

[@stephenasbridge878]

These two were almost part of the family for a lot of us back in the 70s and 80s..🇬🇧♥️🇬🇧

[@carolel2851]

This is pure genius...an absolute delight...easy to forget how fabulous they were..

[@sepgorut2492]

I loved: "Turnham Green that will"

[@rich_rich90]

"Vauxhall as a matter of fact!" 😄

[@dixie8418]

This sketch will be stopping at the following stations. Please mind the gaps; High Barnet, Mornington Crescent, Strand, Longstreet, Regents Park, Barking, Chorleywood, Harrow-on-the-Hill, Dalston Junction, Epping, Euston, Fairlop, Marylebone, Tottenham Hale, Highbury, Dolis Hill, Chigwell, Elephant and Castle, Greenford, Queensway, Brent, Nottinghill Gate, Theydon Bois, Wapping, Islington, Raynes Lane, Wembley Park, Covent Garden, Bayswater, Turnham Green, Dagenham, Arnos Grove, Bushy, Kew Gardens, Vauxhall, Watford High Street, Earls Court, Hatch End, Becontree, Putney, Angel, Rickmansworth, Maida Vale, Totteridge and whetstone, Hammersmith, Aldwych, Hamstead, Pimlico, Rotherhithe, Aldersgate, Cockfosters, Tooting Bec, Arsenal, Watford, Barbican.

[@tasty_fish]

Cheers! Also: Ruislip (before Totteridge and Whetstone) *Aldgate

[@dixie8418]

So smoothly placed between the two that my ears failed to discern Ruislip. Bravo and thanks for highlighting that train junction to me.

[@martinbayliss3868]

The scripting and the comedy acting genius on display here! It's one thing to write such a master piece (it has Ronnie B's brass bands all over it) but the recall and timing of the acting is so impressive - you imagine trying to do that. As usual Ronnie C's comedy acting is the icing on the cake. Without him it would not have worked. Ronnie Barker had a slightly sinister edge about him in my view (hence why he played Fletcher in Porridge to perfection, Fletcher had to have a whiff of sulphur about him as well as a sense of mischief) and needed a comic actor to balance against. Ronnie Corbett just converted everything he did to comedy gold. They both instinctively knew this.

[@TheSLUser]

This comedy is so much better than the trash we are forced to watch today, even some shows made a couple years ago, are no longer funny as the so called new humor becomes dated and stale over night whilst this remains funny 30 years later

[@claireb4259]

@@TheSLUser I absolutely agree. It says a lot when we seek out comedies of yesteryear.

[@rufusharbud3673]

They both instinctively knew how each other would react, then reacted with it.. Pure genius writing and comedy gold together.

[@foreignparticle1320]

This represents a different time, and I ache for it.

[@The.Android]

Genius writing and perfectly executed by The Two Ronnies. As usual.

[@stephthestar90]

I grew up in London and am a bit of an LU enthusiast, so I know of a lot of these stations. I have a fairly good knowledge of the tube. This is pure genius! I should try it on people who aren't tube enthusiasts and see what happens. They might find it funny, but I wouldn't Bank on it.

[@xVwraithVx]

stephthestar90 I wouldn't consider myself a train enthusiast as such but I still know every station mentioned because I have only ever lived in London. I wouldn't expect the average person who lives out of London to understand it though.

[@karenf1001]

😂😂 well done

[@trainsontuesday]

"Bank" on it?

[@paulr3457]

I take it "Bank" was delberate?....vert good.

[@giovanniacuto2688]

I remember in the early 70s working with a young Irish lad on Good Friday. We were looking through the ABC rail guide which listed all the stations in the UK. My recollection is that found 14 stations with the word cross e.g. King's Cross, New Cross Gate etc. The total was rather appropriate for Good Friday.

[@mikaelabowen5781]

Brilliant. These two could conjure wit out of the most mundane of subjects.

[@davidbull7210]

Nerdish fact: this sketch is from 1982. By the end of that year a number of stations mentioned here were no longer tube stations as the Bakerloo line stopped serving them. Earl's Court up me Hatch End could not be said a year later!

[@simeonkay8389]

Hahahahahaha. "Earls caught up in me hatch end" Been looking for this one for ages!

[@veroniquendambo3242]

What a wonderful duo the two Ronnies were ! I will always miss your comedy shows on BBC TV. Old days good old days ! This sketch brings back happy memories from my student years in London. 😥😥😥😥

[@Wheels-Wheels-Wheels]

Very clever. These two were absolutely remarkable for their ability to juggle with words, not just on this sketch but many many others.

[@1950Grendel]

The genius of this sketch is that, even as a Yank with little kowledge of the place names, I still know when a "tube name" is mentioned, and the logic of the conversation is still vey funny. I think these guys are funnier than Python because they are more real to me.

[@cliffhanger953]

I hope you're still laughing after all this time. That's the true gift they gave us.

[@Reidbynature]

Some of the Pythoners actually wrote for them at times.

[@marcuswalters8093]

Yeah, growing up, the Ronnies were bigger in the UK than the Pythons.

[@ericgeorge5483]

Brilliant, just like pretty much everything else they ever did. God how I miss the two Ronnies.

[@vikramjain79]

“Oh yeah, I heard that, yeah, he was going around with the Theydon Bois at one time, wasn’t he?”

[@jeffreylawrence6928]

Best line…😊

[@Paul-zh2nw]

hadn't seen this; this is quality... absolute quality ! (Epping nuisance, they are!)

[@stephenbrady4829]

"She know a lot about Kew Gardens?" "VAUX-hall!"

[@gerladiant]

My favourite shetch of all time , absolute genuis , as good as Fork handles . Never recognised as such sadely.Thank you Alan so much for posting, I waited years to see this on you tube.

[@maryfeeney6583]

Parkinson pilates

[@barriereid9244]

These two men are unrivalled in their use of the English language.

[@golden.lights.twinkle2329]

The saddest thing about a team like this is when one of them dies and then half of the whole is missing.

[@tmw9187]

Genius and so many references to stations close to my old home in Watford. Great stuff!

[@alangreen4156]

My home town as well 😊

[@ianheaver3217]

I can't believe I have not seen this very funny sketch before. The Ronnies in my opinion are the best double act of all time. Well maybe alongside L and H.

[@cliffhanger953]

Very talented. Keep well.

[@euromusicfreak]

The two best comedy duo's of all time, Ian, L&H and the Two Ronnies, better than Cannon and Ball and even better than Morecambe & Wise

[@raywilliams2578]

Absolute Genius, I have been looking for this for years. I only saw it once on TV but has kept me in giggles ever since. Thanks for posting

[@4002corbe]

Simply Brilliant!

[@paulhunter123]

This is better than four candels and first time ive seen it brill

[@moodmanrenton5053]

pure quality

[@Inkyminkyzizwoz]

How about 'She's gone on holiday to the Swiss Cottage with Victoria and her Seven Sisters'

[@finlaycox8026]

And her mate Kensal Rise early for the flight from London City Airport, knowing Fulwell the flights not 'til afternoon. Hatton Cross she was when he said that. Anyway, you should take a St John's Wood for the Holborn in ya' Hyde Park Corner, you'll feel much less Ickenham. I hope they Pinner medal on Dollis Hill, that horse is in the Star Lane. I've put a fiver on it to place at the 3:30 at Royal Oak. Aye, with Ladbroke Grove.

[@rajnirvan3336]

Classic sketch. My favourite bit was the end bit Wait you left your Barbican, Silly Arsenal

[@ferventheat]

Yeah, I too missed this one first time around. Genius script writers.

[@jondenmark9577]

Pure brill didn't know we had so good when we were growing up with class comedy like this

[@TallSilentGuy]

Damn, that took all my powers of concentration to follow!

[@scotty193]

I cant fathom the genius this sketch....................I do but the minds behind it WOW

[@tedthesailor172]

Timeless sketch with brilliant wit.

[@peppertrout]

Sounds like a foreign language. I understand it about as much as I do Dutch. Glad you Brits get such a laugh out of it. I read online that these guys did a charity performance for a 62 year old in Shropshire would had had an accident that has left him paralyzed. The money was used to modify a home for him and his wife to live in, after he had been in the hospital for 15 months. Well done, guys!

[@RB747domme]

peppertrout as an American, the best way to follow this sketch and find the humour, is to get a London tube map and watch the sketch whilst looking at the tube map looking for every single station mentioned. If you can find 50+ stations mentioned in their dialogue, you're doing well! (There is 62 in total)

[@olwentibbit639]

Brilliant, a very tough act to follow! ❤❤x

[@tasty_fish]

Pure genius in the writing, pure class in the delivery #legends

[@jonathan461965]

Pure talent!!!

[@nigelkthomas9501]

Absolutely brilliant! And so unpc! Love it!

[@ysyelec9232]

Earl's Court up in the hatch end

[@powerofone1645]

Well written and flawlessly delivered. A great team.

[@markmurray1480]

Absolutely brilliant 👏

[@extremeconcepts1]

Word play was one of the best things about the Two Ronnies

[@markharrison7331]

Very funny sketch, written by Kit Galer.

[@davidchiles5331]

So, so good....brilliant!!

[@paulr8882]

Theydon Boys/Bois.....timing perfect.

[@TheMrB]

I will always love these two ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@iantebbutt186]

The two Ronnie's simply the best

[@sugarcan1110]

Best of British

[@johntyjp]

never seen this one before!! Takes a long time in "the buisness" to get to this standard of comedy. Rarely seen these days!!!!

[@kyawkyawwin1]

Brilliant - Gerald Wiley I bet.

[@michaelritchie2968]

It's the inclusion of "Theydon Bois" and "Maida Vale" that make this.

[@michaelporter2574]

Both gone now, bless 'em. Difficult to believe really....

[@jamessky9155]

😂🤣😂🤣😂 @ ''I have to get down on my Hampstead and Neasden if I want to go for a Pimlico y'know.'' --- That really made me laugh. Fantastic sketch. Loved watching the Two Ronnies when I was a young boy. And having lived in London for nearly 29 years and about to leave this was a real treat. Tooting Bec 👋 ~ 29th January 2023.

[@carolhartford5145]

Always brilliant.

[@Tattmemore]

Simply brilliant!

[@marcy3127]

Brilliant!! I also love the Irish Pub sketch.

[@thesoupdragonat121]

Haha, just great! "They call him Upton Park, two stops short of Barking" (A knowledge of the superb London Underground system and London humour and slang is required to get the most from this.)

[@kevinedwards5761]

iam from barking originally

[@lancebaker1374]

Don't you mean "Ian from Barking"?

[@jamescashin288]

Oh please, get off your Highgate mate and go Tufnell Park yourself...............

[@roccoliuzzi8394]

I love the two Ronnies but as a Yank, I was lost. Thanks for the reminder that we speak two languages.

[@daniellimmer1949]

This is comedy So much better than today's offerings.Innocent,non offensive and funny

[@djjackstonestonie2067]

one of my faves

[@AbdulRehman-qg8vm]

amazing discourse

[@exb.r.buckeyeman845]

Love the genuine tea can, all they need now is a Bardic lamp.

[@ozzie-sk9dh]

Earls Court up me Hatch End

[@BritishComedyUK69]

awesome

[@lilawere492]

British Comedy UK nb

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

God I miss this type of comedy.

[@fredmila]

Jesus, you really have to concentrate on this one.

[@JonSmith-cx7gr]

Love their word play sketches. I think that the Pub water sketch is the best for this.

[@kriskris4552]

0:46 Greenford... I use to live there for almost 11yrs...recently moved,this year.

[@ilyas3816]

2 greats that can never be replaced

[@KardKing66]

We all get our Earls Court up in our Hatch End sometimes :p

[@clairedemorgan5695]

i missed this sketch when i was a lad. Superb, definitely up there with the fork handles and round of drinks sketches. v funny

[@darthkek1953]

I actually have a "King Cnut" hoodie. It is magnificent.

[@donchoco5767]

Brilliant

[@Ibis117]

Landis & Gyr was at North Acton, I think. "Alight ye here, for Landis and Gyr"

[@highpath4776]

Thanks

[@gcoudert]

Pure genius!

[@henryvagincourt4502]

So clever, but they were, glad I grew up watching them.

[@sillyoldhector]

Genius is the word.

[@1292liam]

incredible !!

[@jjhry177]

the silly arsenal cracked me up

[@grahamspragg7494]

With scenes like this, The Two Ronnies should have double duetted with another comedy pair. Would be great if they both filmed with Harlesden and Stanmore. With the amount of pub scenes they all did, it's like they were Maida Vale. Now I think about it, somewhere in the back of my mind they did a scene like this filmed between Cannon Street and Balham. Tufnell Park luck that it will never happen now.

[@taylorhackford]

Totally agree. Alas, Smith and Jones sharing a skit with Hale and Pace would have been brilliant as well.

[@kaywoodward9283]

Incredible.

[@Harbaksh1234]

Absolute genius!

[@christineaygin6701]

This is genius, so soooo talented

[@saxbend]

When I first saw the Two Ronnies repeated on telly the East London line was closed. There was no Dalston Junction. But now it's back and this sketch is timeless again. :)

[@ekorusoy]

love this :)

[@patthewoodboy]

love it ...

[@garrettmeadows2273]

Love the dialects.

[@HooDie-Trench-GoTh2022]

Brent as Notting hill gate

[@steveslack4750]

Fantastic sketch, especially if you know your underground well.

[@Chopped4Skin]

Pure genius

[@transcendentstudios6819]

Pure genius 😂😂😂

[@chrismoule7242]

"Bit of an Aldwych your old lady"...

[@norbertfarrell4723]

I didn't get most of this, but it is still funny. I figured out that the whole conversation was the Underground stops names. Clevah!

[@acxezknightnite1377]

They were so clever in their comedy.

[@andrewthomson870]

Brilliant 😁😁

[@fidelisfaber4961]

Yeah them pains in me Dalston Junction - kept me awake all night they did.