The Tyra show, ego masquerading as empathy | Khadija Mbowe

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This week we're talking about the Tyra Banks show. I'll be giving you a bit of info about her, discussing (some of) the most outrageous moments of the show and examining how Tyra's brand of empathy, while well-meaning, sometimes missed the mark.
Time Stamps:
Play 0:00
Intro 1:05
Shouts to HelloFresh 4:38
Who is Tyra Banks 6:30
Most outrageous moments 11:36
The limits of empathy 25:28
Final thoughts 33:46
"Why are you recording while you're high?" 42:45
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this one is just fun @hotmessbian

[@jonnielgreenidge4739]

Her darkening her skin to become a stripper is full blown colorism. She associates stripping (which she view as bad) as something a darker skin woman would do as a profession.

[@YourMajesty143]

Let's be real, we know she did it bc she didn't want the patrons to recognize her or to have the tabloids use those images to spin some story of her falling from grace and turning to stripping. But if she was smart, she'd get a fake nose or change something else so that she's unrecognizable. I'm betting she thought that bc she was black, it was ok for her to put on blackface. It's still minstrelsy regardless.

[@dugebuwembo]

Tyra Banks.... Car crash TV

[@IndiaMyers]

@@YourMajesty143 she did have on a fake nose.. I think they also did something with her teeth too. It wasn’t just a skin color change, so was the skin color change really necessary?

[@criminalkey2259]

Yeah that whole episode was just about her shame, her fear of the stigma. Seeing her try to project that on other people was so gross.

[@bronzee548]

this is so common. Even with Disney they had darker women sexualized back in the 90s. Then there was some backlash so they stooped. Jasmin is literally wearing a belly dancer outfit. Darker women tend to get sexualized.

[@bigbettybloom9107]

“It had a tone problem” that’s the whole Tyra banks show. Tyra was trying so hard to be down to earth, but in reality it just showed how out of touch she truly was.

[@RecoveringChristian]

She was soooo promising in cycle 3 and cycle 4, doing media press junkets, making many people excited for ANTM and her talk show debut. Soo relatable, could read a room, get a crowd going, soo funny. Then it all fell to pieces. This was not the big beautiful house we the viewers were promised.

[@angelgrey644]

But at the time this show was spot on it just didn’t age well

[@erinr3436]

@@angelgrey644 yea, it was my fav show in middle school

[@nadadebraga7981]

You all , watch too much tv .

[@angelgrey644]

@@nadadebraga7981 and do

[@TheBizzle1984]

The Tyyra refusing to strip thing is kind if infuriating when you remember that she later kicked several models off of ANTM for refusing to do nude photos. I'm not saying she should have been forced to strip, quite the opposite, I'm for a world where no one is forced to expose their body because of desperation or coercion.

[@DiMagnolia]

YES. Such a good point.

[@roxannamostatabi7791]

Yep! Double standard!

[@user-pd3rr4xn8l]

I work full time as a model and no client has ever forced me to pose nude, and I’m pretty sure no client would do that unless the model consents! She’s such a hypocrite 😅🤧

[@rubberglovewet9981]

I believe contestants on antm were also disqualified for having done sex work.... so much for empathy

[@desiree6345]

@@rubberglovewet9981 don't believe. It's true. A winner was stripped (no pun) of her win cuz she escorted for 3 weeks.

[@phemyda94]

I'm training to be a counselor, and people always say, "Oh, it must make you so sad to hear everybody's terrible stories." They're so shocked when I say no! But truthfully, I don't get sad for my patients. I do my best to understand and compassionately help them. If I took on their feelings in session, I would be useless. There is a kind of social imperative that says in order to be a good person, you must feel bad when other people feel bad. Empathy is an evolutionary impulse that facilitates social bonding. But bad feelings are also paralytic. The more upset you are about a situation the less capable you are of dealing with it effectively. Feeling sad about underprivileged people is not only useless, it makes you less willing to engage with them and less able to help them.

[@KhadijaMbowe]

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@talkoholic13]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@GnarlyRaePepsi]

Ok, Ok, Turbo has never seen it put as articulately as @phemyda94 did at the end of that comment

[@shemeciahaskell322]

@@KhadijaMbowe The Tyra Banjs show ended in 2010 not 2005

[@littlbbygl29]

Wow, your statement is touching and moving thank you, you are insightful.

[@lifeisgood9026]

"Homeless culture" that woman is crazy

[@oldmanyaoi_enjoyer]

right? like it’s some sort of aesthetic-homelesscore 😍✨

[@rachaeldbmiller]

That made me cringe so bad

[@kristineilochi4615]

Homeless isn't a damn culture--it's a terrible situation.

[@BlueGangsta1958]

Brings me right back to the Creepshow situation

[@alittlemoresonic42]

homeless people do have their own culture. Not knowing that means you don't know anyone who has been homeless. You're going to have you're own culture if you live on the outside of the society you live "in".

[@sunnyjoslynn851]

"Ego masquerading as empathy" is the perfect description of everything Tyra is and has ever done.

[@fanniewallace2846]

I agree.. She was a mean girl and put on like she wasn't.

[@squidneythesquid2487]

Sounds like pure bred narcissism to me lol

[@WashingtonDC20032]

👏🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@JustJ-Me]

Very much agree and it's awful. Everything feels like a constant performance from her. It's terrible how abusive she's been to others in the past.

[@OliviaBaeBy]

But was mad at Naomi

[@Theblknami]

“I just want to emerge myself as much as possible into the homeless culture”, she says as she’s getting hair and makeup done to look homeless

[@RecoveringChristian]

Soo funny😆😆😆

[@hahalol5143]

The expression on you profile pic fits this perfectly.

[@hopelight848]

Wad we

[@winterbonnie7859]

Frfr.and sat out there all of 10 min ,claiming shestayed all night.she had a entire camera crew and all.

[@RecoveringChristian]

The homeless culture or subculture is a *widely used concept among researchers with an interest in the processes by which people become entrenched in the homeless population* Ravenshill does not shy away from some of the contradictions which characterize the homeless subculture either. WAPO 2021 ~ A new way to view homelessness: Not as a problem but as a culture

[@roguestowl2280]

I remember watching Tyra’s stripper episode when it was on tv. It struck me at the time that Tyra‘s job as a lingerie model is not so different from stripping except for what I perceive to be an economic difference. And it bothered me how the profession of stripping was looked down upon in the episode. I agree that stripping can be a dangerous job. But the blame needs to be placed on the patrons who abuse dancers. Shaming or villainizing dancers doesn’t help.

[@chai387]

It's crazy because even modelling is a shady industry like stripping so Tyra is a big hypocrite

[@wow7254]

The patrons and all too often the business owners lol

[@TheProletariat321]

I support seggs workers but I don't Support seggs work, because it is exploitative. But work is inherently exploitative, it isnt inherent to seggs work. Working 9 to 5 is also exploitative. Seggs work is not the only job where the workers get underpaid and work overtime. In a capitalist society, people need money to survive, so I will 100% Support seggs workers no matter what, until we've finally abolished Capitalism.

[@queennanny4792]

Why are privileged people never embarrassed? This is embarrassing. Just awful

[@pomegranatejelly9767]

Privileged people tend to not think of themselves as privileged because even if they have an advantage in one area, they can still experience hardships. Because they focus more on their own pain and experiences instead of realizing that their circumstances have separated them from the realities of the people around them, they end up seeing themselves as underdogs no matter what.

[@dollydamore5064]

I feel like it’s because they’ve never been made to feel shame. Growing up, I was made to feel shame so often and if I could turn back time, my single regret is succumbing to that shame and projecting it onto my mother. There is no shame in doing your best and trying to get by, the real shame is in being an arrogant, self-centered person

[@justinwatson1510]

It wasn’t your job to avoid succumbing to shame, it is the parent’s job to raise their children in an environment where they have permission to learn and make mistakes without piling shame onto the child.

[@hallievanoutryve3109]

I know! I have second hand shame just watching it! Money definitely changes people

[@hallievanoutryve3109]

@@pomegranatejelly9767 so true! Very insightful! I know I am guilty of this to some extent,

[@imani0nline]

The fact that we let Tyra get on tv every week and traumatize people for entertainment … and loved it ?! Was weird 🤐

[@sbond7510]

The 00’s was a weird time for sure

[@Boahemaa]

did we love it though? Cos she was mocked and criticized by the commentators of her day. She was a poor man's Oprah in the reviews at best.

[@paccinocappaccino]

I really loved and enjoyed trauma on TV and looked up the episodes on KZbin. I'm embarrassed

[@phylliskimani7626]

I see you everywhere girl 😂

[@orlaithmcg]

I remember reading an article about her behaviour on ANTM, drawing parallels between her and cult leaders, and it was like the scales fell from my eyes. I know it sounds over-dramatic, but it spoke specifically about how she treated contestants that went against "the Gospel of Tyra", for lack of a better description. How she would gather those people into a room, with all the other contestants watching, and berate them publicly, and then invite their peers to join in. Turning belittlement into a communal, bonding experience. I've never been able to stomach her since.

[@peteradaniel]

“I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!” It’s funny because RuPaul does exactly the same. Ego masquerading as empathy.

[@chloep8808]

Only he’s a lot more subtle

[@searchingfororion]

Raja was literally part of the ANTM team (primarily as a make up artist) but there was a segment where the girls were surprised by a "special guest" when they arrived on stage and he was in full drag, performed a "burlesque" dance (I use quotes as someone who knows the history, actively follows and has done performances themselves) and then proceeded to teach the girls certain moves for a mini routine to "learn to be sensual and alluring without being sexual" Then a couple years later he enters RPDR - season 3 I believe - to some strong controversy (as it's not only well known, but openly mentioned on the show that he and Ru are close friends) then wouldn't you know it? It gets to the top three and Ru crowns Raja the winner. The backlash was *HUGE* to the point that fans were threatening to boycott the sponsors (back when it was MAC, Absolut, Out magazine, ect...) if there was any more blatant bias in the judging on challenges - but especially the lipsyncs and final winner; That's what sparked the "dinner with Ru" segments near the top four, but more importantly the surprise announcement after the final "lipsync for your life" that the winner would be determined by audience vote *alone.* I can't help but notice that now Ru keeps changing the wording and finally blatantly says, "I've seen your votes but in the end the final choice is *mine."* I honestly feel that Ru's false empathy is even *more* transparent than Tyra's. It's like watching a giant wind-up with all the trademark catchphrases wander around the "werk" room, then a costume change and you flip the switch for celebrity banter mode.

[@TheProletariat321]

​@@ashhleywashere Criticising lgbt people isnt anti lgbt. I dont like jeffrey Star because he's fucking racist and mysoginistic. But if you insult him for being gay, instead of calling him out for his own bigotry, you are anti-lgbt. Marginalised people are not above scrutiny. White women still benefit from White supremacy, even if they are women. I am lgbt but I am still White, and people of colour who are also lgbt are treated worse than me.

[@HannyBunny1998]

I remember watching ANTM and once in the auditions, a stripper was auditioning and she said that it was similar to modelling, like she uses her modelling skills while she works. And Tyra got so offended by that comparison, and the girl did NOT get hired. So yeah, Tyra definitely has an issue with strippers

[@kenyaaragon3944]

Swear I'm always side glancing whenever i watch or hear anything about her like... Massive egos can't handle a little jab at it so she gets offended. Like girl this isn't always about you or meant to insult you.

[@AshJae]

Because she’s basically the same thing but in print, all she sells is sex and sexual fantasies She’s a repulsive narcissist hypocrite

[@radmoonable]

Honestly Tyra looking down on strippers is pure hypocrisy. In lot of cultures modelling is looked down upon similar to stripping since they both involve "selling your body".

[@Muchamuchacha]

I'm not going to lie, i use Tyra as an insult lol! When someone is making something about themselves when it doesn't have to be I always say "Okay Tyra" "okay Ms.Banks". She always makes things about her self and it's so frustrating to the point it's funny!

[@pastelhotmess9299]

Seriously!!

[@theholyhaunted]

Omg love it

[@paccinocappaccino]

LMAOOOOO

Yes omg I've never seen anything like it. When she told the girl who had a bully literally light her on fire that she could relate because one time another model took her shoes I was DONE never looked at her the same

[@victoriap1649]

So true! My cousin met her cuz she was working as an event manager for celebrities for a while. I was a fan of ANTM (I was like 8 years old at the time) and asked how she was irl. She said “Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone that could make literally everything about herself.” She told me more things that happened but unfortunately I can’t remember now over 10 years later. That sentence always stuck out to me

[@BeingBennetGreen]

Tyra was the blueprint for KZbinrs living off a dollar, working at a fast food restaurant, and dressing up as a homeless person.

[@BeingBennetGreen]

Don’t forget the campaign to get on Khadijah’s monthly, if you can send her my videos. Have a fantastic week.

[@ladydiamand]

Omg, I just remembered the infamous Alfie Daye's video "living off a dollar for a day*. He got so mish backlash for that video (rightfully so). It was so embarrassing

[@BeingBennetGreen]

@@ladydiamand yea.

[@ms.x1669]

Jake Paul and Trisha Paytas are her litteral *S O N S* she's the problematic blueprint

[@n0ts0B9]

The blueprint.... Oy. 😛

[@linds8444]

So she actually wasn’t experiencing homelessness. She was hanging out in the city for a couple hours?!!!

[@tyrone2434]

🤣🤣 what a clown that Tyra

[@zammymynakersnackstbmoth]

Yup

[@kenyaaragon3944]

Find it funny cause she mentioned economic struggles but like that's a lot of people's normal that you're just ignoring like yeah she added that "it can be you too" to her episode but the thing is a lot of people are in situations like that or homeless. I'm just saying if you have time to dance around the city with a camera crew and a massive ego you have time to visit small businesses in the area, support soup kitchens by donating food or money, or donating to foundations that deal with such issues you can't be bothered to. But that isn't what her show is, it's about 'Tragedy' and how pitiful everyone is and how she can't even imagine it for more than an episode without crying.

[@BePatientSeeLove]

Really messed up smh 😞😞😞

[@fabulousporcupine3828]

I remember two different episodes, one with a female ”adult actor” and they where telling her she needs to stop and she is ruining her body and its BAD!!! And in the other episode there was a male ”adult actor” and they where just joking about it, no big deal, whatever. The difference is MASSIVE.

[@elizabthharris6741]

Exactly!

[@prairiehorse6168]

Yeah, I remember the female adult actress episode. I think her name was Sasha...I forgot the last name. It felt like Tyra was attacking her.

[@clairescare5683]

@@prairiehorse6168 Sasha Grey! I remember her talking about it sometime after and she said they did her makeup and hair to make her look very young and she was amused by Tyra trying to push her to talk about how porn was terrible. Sasha didn't really care and just did the show to promote herself.

[@whythefuckismynicknamedefault]

@@clairescare5683 What a queen!

[@clairescare5683]

@@whythefuckismynicknamedefault Sasha's pretty dope! I wouldn't recommend any uninitiated person here look up her porn unless they're into hardcore shit - Sasha was famous for a reason! But she's always seemed very down to earth, intelligent, and it's pretty impressive how at 18 she was able to sit across from Tyra being messy and show that she was the mature one of the two.

[@ladylydbug]

“I just wanna try to immerse myself as much as possible into homeless culture” She said W H A T

[@thatraspyshxt]

😭😭😭

[@RecoveringChristian]

Lol

[@heheh6727]

@Farhiya homeless core😩

[@doodlebobdorkpants661]

@@heheh6727 💫🗑️homeless wave 🗑️ 💫

[@alexisjauregui3523]

My bf who wasn't even watching the video with me from the other aode of the room "homelessness isn't a culture, wtf, stupid bitch"

[@gabrylmack5084]

Also stripping isn’t that much different then being a model IN fact one would argue it’s EXTREMELY similar 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@kristineilochi4615]

Tyra was not only extremely judgmental but hypocritical as well. 🙄🙄🙄

[@gabrylmack5084]

@@kristineilochi4615 Facts , like she literally worked a stage in her UNDERWEAR for a living 😒 and posed naked and made the girls on Next top Model pose NAKED as well 😡

[@unerevuese]

A contestant at ANTM said this to her and she got so upset!

[@MrDMC11889]

The girl was only 16. I don't know the laws of every state but that can't be legal. Even if it was, eww! Other than that I'd agree.

[@MrDMC11889]

@@gabrylmack5084 She was condescending and hypocritical.

[@zinja0830]

One thing that always killed me back in the day was how the seriousness of the topic directly correlated to how frequently she blinked.

[@teeeeee402]

😂😂😂

[@evafinkemeier4111]

There's such a thing as a "perfect victim" that society likes. The Guardian has an interesting article on how Sylvia Plath was one. Nothing at all against Sylvia Plath here or her actual victimhood. Just that she was beautiful, feminine, emotional, talented, a mind with cracks, and a death of suicide. It makes for a perfect combination of how society likes and has compassion with and perhaps even admires their victim. If the victim was unattractive or not smart to an extent or smelly or had a criminal past or had not "just" depression but schizophrenia or actual cold hard mental handicaps like very low IQ, or a victim displays strength and stability and outspokenness instead of the expected feebleness and troubled weepy demeanor - all that interferes with what society considers an attractive and to be actively supported victim. And Tyra seems to really be like that. She wants her victims a certain way and if they're not she's clearly bothered, and she wants to change them, and for them to fit into her view of a victim. If someone doesn't fit Tyra gets angry, keeps pushing, and then doesn't want to support them anymore. Like you don't fit, we were going to be generous with you, but not this way!

[@ashashraa6579]

It's the same thing with Marilyn Monroe. People were and still are to this day empathetically glorIfying and glamorizing everything about her including her problems, scandals, victimhood and death.

[@a.j.1819]

@@ashashraa6579 I'm a huge MM fan and I agree. I cringe everytime I see Tik Tokers or whoever imitating her to the point where it seems like an obsession. One woman even moved into her old home. She deserves to be remembered for the fantastic actress and starlet that she was, not only the "tragic beautiful victim of hollywood".

[@apparentlyasun]

@@ashashraa6579 agreed, how she's been flanderized and disrespected after death is a tragedy. i highly recommend watching yhara zayd's video about her if you haven't already, it goes into a lot of detail about this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aovVk3-Qpayiqqs

[@searchingfororion]

A really good contrast to this is perfect victim Sylvia Plath vs Virginia Woolf; nearly identical positive attributes and talent *except* that pesky bisexuality exists problem even after being married to her husband. That just won't do. (It's also why when teaching her work typically she herself is glossed over except "becoming so unstable eventually her husband had to have them relocate to the countryside where she eventually deteriorated to the point of sneaking out of the house and intentionally drowning herself.")

[@JG-kk1mr]

underrated batshit tyra moment was her giving miley cyrus a photograph of tyra at 16 for miley's 16th birthday lmfao

[@Otter34]

That is on maybe the same level as giving people copies of your music as tips.

[@user-lb8sv1nc1d]

@@Otter34 ok this one is worst 😭 is it real?

[@AgentPedestrian]

@@user-lb8sv1nc1d a swediah celeb went to.. I think it was Haiti after the crisis. And she gave out her own albums and perfume in front of cameras. Some people are just soggy paper all the way through

[@darkkitty22]

LMAOOOOO😭😭

[@ms.cellaneous4380]

The context for that clip of Tyra screaming at a contestant that gets used so often (we were all rooting for you!) is wild to me. She had just eliminated the contestant, and Tyra was upset the contestant wasn't "more emotional." I had previously thought she was upset at the contestant not trying hard enough or something but no.. . Just upset she didn't have a more dramatic clip for her show.

[@Sea_witch_]

Oooh the ironyyy Tyra was so manipulative that she made it seem like the contestant was "evil" or "not worthy of her place" in the show. When in reality she was just being herself and trying her best with the tools she had. Tyra had serious issues....

[@sarahobah]

I was very young at the time but remember thinking, but Tyra just spent the episode being really hard on her, that's not "rooting" for her.

[@spriddlez]

I forget that most people didn't obsessively watch ANTM and thus missed that context. There were a few seasons where Tyra started acting so over the top and erratic presumably for the views but it was just alarming. This was near the start of that iirc.

[@elizrebezilmadommdo1662]

Those kind of people are the worst. They just want to see you at your weakest and get a reaction out of you. If you don't cry or lash out, they get angry because they want you to look like the weak and crazy one, because it makes them look like the reasonable one.

[@bellam7546]

@Supermodel Chick I wouldn`t put it past Naomi to bully Tyra. In my opinion, they are both the same. Naomi hit her helper on the head with a cellphone, she`s as crazy as Tyra.

[@halo4336]

I remember the episode she did on skin bleaching . She interviewed a bunch of women and their children (whom they were also bleaching) and she kept saying comparing to herself like “look at what you’re going through to have my skin tone. But I was the dark skin woman in the industry “ it was uhhhmmm interesting. Going store to store to find products and following someone who snatched the bottles cause they were illegal. Interesting .

[@cococherrymango1225]

😵‍💫

[@PercyNah]

Wait, did you giggle at being high for nearly 2 minutes and then deliver a nuanced video essay that interweaves Tyra Banks, Toni Morrison, and our entire social approach to empathy informing our ability to create a better world? My metatextual mind is blown. Edit: I wrote this before the outro. Now I'm dead.

[@suzykennedy3559]

I vividly remember Tyra being so rude and condescending to a grown woman who chose to sell her virginity to pay off her student loans. This women did a masters on the social importance of virginity and why it’s a myth. When the women wouldn’t agree that she was wrong or broken Tyra got mad

[@judithstormcrow9073]

the only wrongs with this are 1. having to use sex as a means to pay off education 2. the concept of virginity as something ((extra)) profitable (actualy 'having to' doesn't sound right but I don't know how else to translate it, I hope you get my gist)

[@Dell-ol6hb]

@@judithstormcrow9073 nah I get what you mean, in that just the fact that she HAD to use sex (not to say that there’s anything wrong with sex work ofc) to pay off her student debt is absurd and a failure of our system.

[@shemeciahaskell322]

* woman not women

[@fireandsugar2625]

Uh no that's disgusting and pathetic.

[@firstnamelastname4427]

@@fireandsugar2625 That's your opinion.

[@AerialAssault87]

Oh, I'll NEVER forget when she had Molly Sims on talking about the work she was doing with an orphanage in Mexico. Molly said something about how deeply these children touched her heart. Tyra responds with something along the lines of understanding because of when the media called her fat, how much that hurt her. The tone deafness was WILD!!! Even Molly was like..."yeah..." 🤣

[@dananezat]

This was basically every show! No matter what the conversation was, she always managed to turn it back around on her modeling or personal issues. It was so weird to watch in real time. Truly.

[@PrincessofPower84]

Um, what?! 😲

[@RecoveringChristian]

Amazing omg

[@lorihammerschmidt5769]

I remember watching the Tyra show and she had people with low self-esteem wear flesh colored tight suits and rate themselves, and basically talk about what they hated about themselves. I think they also did an experiment (still wearing their flesh coloured suits) with numbers on their head, and they had to find their matching number on another person, and this was to symbolize how people tended to match up with their attractiveness equal. I think the message by the end of the show was just that being unattractive sucks. It was so awkward and I remember thinking that Tyra was a bit of a sadist, so I stopped watching her show after that. Maybe sadist is too strong a word, but it seemed like she took some pleasure in exploiting people's insecurities and broadcasting it under the guise of awareness or help or something, but the people did not seem to feel any better afterwards. That's why I clicked this video, because the title perfectly captures my feelings about Tyra after watching that episode.

[@lindsaynellc]

Nah, if you watch ANTM, it’s very clear she’s a sadist! Lol. Kind of kidding but not really. She really likes making people uncomfortable in the very least!

[@thesilentdiva]

Nope. U were right the first time. Sadist

[@rucianapollard7098]

I totally remember that episode!!

[@fermentedpenny5264]

Loved this! I read The Bluest Eye when I was in my early 20s and Tyra definitely reminds me of the light-skinned green-eyed girl in the book. I myself am a light-skinned green-eyed Inuit Eskimo from northern Alaska and my sister who looks more traditionally Alaskan Native than me (same parents) has a totally different view of the world than I do. I found that out when we went to Anchorage (the “city”) for college and experienced racism for the first time. It was then I realized how fortunate we were to have been raised at a camp site in the middle of nowhere and been protected from that awful reality. The historical trauma Native Americans faced was horrible, so I cannot imagine your peoples plight. It is still going on (even more since the presidency of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) and the BLM movement is one step closer to hopefully ending it. Love your content, keep it up! ❤️

[@nbd150]

Still baffles me how white people colonized Native land and then were racist to them? They pushed them out of their own land, slaughtered them and then discriminated against them. I don’t understand powerful people. Hell, as a minority, I don’t understand white people. It’s crazy that even in Alaska and Hawaii, where a large Native population struggle hard to remain, they face racism!!

[@fermentedpenny5264]

@@nbd150 yeah, there used to be signs on stores and bars that read “No dogs or natives allowed.” We were the ones cast out of our own land. That, and the boarding schools our grandparents went to as kids abused and raped them, on top of beating them for speaking their own language or singing or dancing their traditional dances. They even had bonfires to burn all their native regalia. Historical trauma runs rampant in the US.

[@ULuvJanae]

@@fermentedpenny5264 And they never teach us about this history of the Natives or the true crimes against humanity against my people during slavery. The terror they unleashed on both of our people is so traumatizing and they never want to dig into it because it’s “in the past”. There’s Native women going missing in the Midwest and no one ever talks about it

[@alivewithchrist777]

@@fermentedpenny5264 I’m a blue eyed Athabaskan/Tlingit too! From Alaska. My Grandma & grandpa couldn’t even sit together at the movie theater in anchorage in the 50’s or 60’s bc he was white & she was native

[@fermentedpenny5264]

@@alivewithchrist777 wow, that’s so sad! The messed up part about not looking like your race is hearing what people that don’t know you’re *insert ethnicity here* say about your people when they don’t think you’re listening, like I’m some kind of chameleon. The looks on their face when I call the racists out is priceless. We shouldn’t have to do that, it’s so f’ed up.

[@amandaglatter4826]

"Guilt is a passive emotions. We need active emotions. Because passive emotions have their place but active emotions get shit done." Just wrote this on my my bathroom mirror because damn.

[@victoriap1649]

Same. This is gonna replay in my head daily, super helpful quote. Thanks for writing it out. Thank you Khadija for all the insightful words as always!!

[@batty_babette]

Love that.

[@oddgoddess5576]

thank you for this!!

[@andrealein157]

Also regret

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

Tyra was THAT GYAL in the 90s scene but lawd, I still cringe when I remember her "rabies" bit or when she faked having a seizure 😩

[@JulianSteve]

YESSSSSSS, the rabies bit never gets old😂‼️

[@LoXena]

And when she bullied and forced a black woman to close her teeth gap and forced a white woman to surgically open a gap 😬

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

@@LoXena as a Black man w/ a gap the size of the Suez Canal - I'm triggered af

[@ambriaashley3383]

The whole of ANTM was problematic af - and I only realized as an adult. Tyra consistently targeted the DSBW, like with the gap issue, calling them angry, allowing Miss Jay to call them ‘nappy-headed’. Remember the episode where the challenge was a RACE SWAP?!? She legit had multiple White contestants up there in Black face and Brown face & thought it was a serve 🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️

[@lovesue86]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

[@aribraxas6013]

This whole rational compassion thing reminds me of how people act towards how autistic people think. We have difficultly directly putting ourselves in other people's shoes but tend to be a lot more empathetic then people give us credit for. We just actually want to find solutions to the issue and don't sound empathetic to neurotypical people. But rational compassion sounds like it's a term that fits what's going on a lot.

[@jackieeeap2]

The episode that had me side eye Tyra forever was when she was in her last season and the production was cramping all these different story lines into one episode (all of which did not transition well into the next story); one I will always remember was of a girlfriend who took her unsuspecting boyfriend to tell him on the show he had gained too much weight in college and that she did not find him attractive and to work on it. AND TYRA AGREED! For all those seasons she defined body-positivity, sisterhood, empathy, and sympathy. What a lie!!!

[@amiborabee]

"most of y'all are my age and older" I'm 17 so now you're my official auntie

[@victoriap1649]

I would be a much more well rounded person if I were watching khadija at 17! (I’m 24). This is dope!

[@artnerd3727]

Me too!

[@ohnambu3829]

im 17 as well- heyyo auntie

[@genesiselaine]

omg i’m 17 too her teenage audience is coming together

[@c.l.bailey3256]

I’m 39 and wish I’d been exposed to Khadijah when I was 17! She need to be in high school classrooms and we need to time travel her back to the 90s.

[@KaseyWithers]

I can't believe no one remembers this, but she had an episode where she brought in different members of the lgbt community and had them vote each other off to see who was "king of the gays". The first person they voted off was the bi person, then they assigned different roles to the remaining people, one of which was a jester, and I remember a peasant role as well. I'm pretty sure the clip is still on KZbin it was like a Royal Panel sort of deal. As a closeted Bi person, that episode really made me feel unwelcome in the lgbt community. I'll never forget watching that live.

[@KhadijaMbowe]

ummm what

[@KhadijaMbowe]

lol

[@KaseyWithers]

@@KhadijaMbowe yeah this is the full episode, I'm glad someone uploaded it, it's so wild to watch kzbin.info/www/bejne/nWTVoGSGp7SAkLc

[@carolm.7279]

I remember that!! It was so horrible!

[@BLONDBOYGIGI]

LMFAO what????

[@DS-wp2dj]

"guilt is a passive emotion" that's so concise and brilliantly put I actually gasped Unrelated note, Tyra obviously being anti-sw is bad, yeah, but on the other hand maybe she's not wrong that we shouldn't normalize underage kids doing sw? idk. Cause imo, 16 is.... "did you have a hard childhood?" umm her childhood's still happening Tyra.

[@KathrynHenny]

Your section on "the limits of empathy" speaks so hard to me. I am sending this to so many people because I have had a hard time articulating how I feel about religion, charities, and organized giving services (especially to the poor and indigent) that seem to come with this expectation of "changing lives" as in changing things/aspects/attributes that are not necessarily harmful but do not align with the organization's values and social norms. I love this channel so much.

[@andilen.6270]

Tyra definitely fell in the trap that most of us still fall into: Confusing empathy and sympathy or assuming that one necessarily leads to the other. But I'm glad you mentioned that the show was a 'product of its time' because everything in that era from bubblegum pop music, rom-coms in film, feel-good daytime tv, famine in Africa ads and grunge fashion was about playing the sympathy card.

[@hallievanoutryve3109]

Grunge? That was in the 90’s. It was dead and done by the mid 90. Famine in Africa (specifically Ethiopia) was more of an 80’s phenomenon. Tyra’s show didn’t start until the 2000s. Just a little history lesson for you youngins!

[@muirgirl]

@@hallievanoutryve3109 Them: "grunge fashion was about playing the sympathy card" Me: *laughs in Milennial* I have to think they mean Emo, not Grunge, but as a stupid selfish millennial who was a decrepit 8 years of age when Spice World premiered, am probably just playing the sympathy card, and they clearly understand the cultural milieu that was the 2000s (for some reason I just thought of the iconic Lucille Bluth line: "It's one banana Michael, how much could it cost? Ten dollars?!"). The conceit that 00s daytime television was somehow feel-good is also bizarre.. As a kid it STRESSED me tf out. Think thats part of why Tyra and her ilk were able to get away with their production style but still be considered uplifting/positive. They have clearly never subjected themselves to the stresses of Jerry Springer or Maury in its peak.. Geraldo was definitely more feel good but that (as you know) was long before the 00s Killer Bees or doomsday Millennium countdown to zero daytime tv programming (remember the renewed AfRiCaNiZeD killer bees scare in 2002? lol). BTW, Africa has been in increasing agricultural crisis since the 90s. Invisible Children was founded in 2004 for child soldiers in CAR. Currently East Africa has several countries struggling with famine (Sudan, South Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia, Kenya, and Uganda) while Zambia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, and Angola all have looming crises. www.wfpusa.org/where-we-work/ Anyways, love from a fellow survivor of the 00s. Edited due to space limit weirdness.

[@mars10115]

I’m 40. Grunge was def early to mid 90s . I think you mean Emo..

[@andilen.6270]

Thanks for correcting me, this comment was absolutely not researched, simply an impulsive response on the lack of empathy on the Tyra show. I just meant she wasn't the only one, but I'm no expert.

[@jakerockznoodles]

I'm in the UK and we STILL get those famine in Africa ads on many of our channels. It's definitely less now, and doesn't often show up on the "big 4" standard channels, but it's still very much a thing. At the very least they're promoting charities, I guess, but it still colours people's perception of the continent as a whole.

[@m_luluu]

You should do a video on the effect of 00s media on young girls then and now because the body dysmophia is real

[@m_luluu]

The media calling Tyra fat when she was probably like a size 6

[@maybelikealittlebit]

Jesus Christ yeah my size 0 hourglass shaped friends thinking they’re fat and gross because they’re not a perfect 10 like in some Instagram photos. When will people accept that photos aren’t real life, they’re just to capture a memory, not fake a memory. But it all stems from somewhere and it’s obviously the way media portrays the “perfect body” even for men it’s disturbing how looks obsessed we (the media and social media) all are...

[@SirThinks2Much]

On Luxeria’s channel is going over the The Swan pageant show and I am Realizing Things

[@BirdLadySpeaks]

She covered this in her hip hop male gaze and 2000 video vixen videos, if I’m not mistaken. Those are good ones to check out. 💛💛💛💛

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Of course the specter 9f Bridget Jones will pop up

[@supernaturalmodel2491]

Thank you for pointing out the need to "darken skin..." as a stripper to get into the stripper role, that was a very interesting take away. I remember that episode also, and remember having pause with that but not really giving it much after thought but it did strike me as odd... Oh yeah... I brushed it off as 'she was trying to be incognito (unrecognizable).'

[@lululoveberry4161]

I really appreciated the biography. Thank you, Most people forget Tyra was a commercial model not a fashion model. Tyra's career is not unlike many influencers' today but Top Model cashed in on the perception that Tyra was a fashion model.

[@pandimensions]

Empathy is often paralysing - I don’t want a surgeon to empathise with me while they’re performing an operation, I want them to be compassionate but retain their rationality. I think the same can be applied to social problems - trying to empathise with everyone in distress is overwhelming, especially if you are also struggling yourself. Analysing why people are in distress while retaining the emotional energy to help is much more useful.

[@VeganAtheistWeirdo]

_Empathy is often paralysing_ So true, for me anyway. It's one of the reasons I don't feel comfortable getting too close to too many people. But yes, it's much more effective to be able to remain rational and compassionate, because the empathetic reaction may keep one from making a better longer-term choice.

[@laffy4584]

Uh. Gotta say.... A surgeon empathizing with you seems like a bit of a non sequitur. Your surgeon isn't here to understand and share your feelings.

[@pandimensions]

@@laffy4584 Fair enough, not a perfect analogy! Perhaps a nurse dealing with an emergency would be a better comparison? My main point is that often in order to be helpful someone needs to be compassionate enough to understand what you're going through, but not empathise so much as to be pulled into your panic/distress.

[@carolin2220]

It’s a balance. Some empathy is never a bad thing. Too much of anything is not healthy

[@pri2x0x]

@@carolin2220 exactly, its not so black & white. Having empathy with boundaries is the key.

[@kristenmohr1674]

This reminds me of a Boy Meets World episode where Mr. Feeny introduces the book Black Like Me and talks about how the author darkened his skin to find out what it was like to be black. And Cory was treated like a goof for saying, "Couldn't he just have asked?" Leading to hijinks where Cory and Shawn dress up as girls to learn about them.

[@astronomicallyfine]

Sigh

[@cincocats320]

Oh man...Black Like Me was such a cringe moment in American culture. A classic example of both man 'splaining and white 'splaining. Weird AF.

[@billybarnett2846]

@@cincocats320 You young people make me want to eat a bullet

[@Iuvkrssy]

@@billybarnett2846 eat it then

[@wuraolaolagunju]

The was also a episode on Touched by an Angel were the main angel character: Monica a pale Irish woman wore blackface because she asked God to "help her understand racism" the entire episode was insane. Rosa Parks herself guest starred I swear I thought I was hallucinating the entire time!!!!!

[@AudballXcore]

My mom and I were featured on the Tyra Show (we got approached at The Grove by producers) and they pretty much just asked if we wanted to be on the show and then ask if I could ask my mom a personal question.. my mom was kind of thrown off and just said, “sure!” “ what’s your darkest secret?” And my mom being a very honest and kind woman said that she “used to stuff her bra in middle school..” and they actually put it on the air ! I remember that really embarrassed my mom but hey, that’s Hollywood right ?

[@JoyBarkat]

This type of content shouldn’t be free, your work is appreciated.

[@DaniielaVergara]

She has almost 500 k subscribers so it’s not for free.

[@uniscornchantal9346]

Tyra is such a classic narcissist. I truly believe that the only reason she "reenacted hardships" is so she would still be the main point of focus.

[@sarahg2653]

I never thought of it that way. You're probably right!

[@randombrokeperson]

After my eyes were opened to how she treated many of the (Black, dark skinned) women on ANTM, I am fully convinced she has something wrong with her. I could totally see her being diagnosed with NPD or some personality disorder. It would explain A LOT.

[@Olivina330]

When she judged a homeless photoshoot for ANTM (I don’t even know anymore), she said, “This issue is very close to me because I pretended to be homeless on my show.” How deluded can you be

[@llovely7443]

@@Olivina330 😯

[@RecoveringChristian]

Yes exactly. Also shes trying to stay relevant and get renewed for a talk show and a reality TV show.

[@lynnedumas746]

I remember being very young, like a preteen, and wondering why she had to dress up as different people and not just listen to the experiences of people who actually lived it. It didn't sit right with me even as a child.

[@zammymynakersnackstbmoth]

Same!

[@treehouse318]

i was a part of staff for a week long summer camp for teen girls that Tyra Banks started in 2000, called T-Zone. it was supposed to be about the importance of self-esteem growing from within, as opposed to the thoughts or opinions of others- and having young women truly listening to each other's stories, learning how to hold each other up, vs. tearing each other down. having worked in other human-relations based summer camps, i remember feeling excited that this was an opportunity for young women only- to be honest, to listen, and to be heard. it definitely had it's moments, and i do feel like there was eyes opened to other's experiences and growth. then there were the times when Tyra showed up, with her entourage, and her cameras- and it felt like the progress that may have been happening for those young women was halted- because Tyra needed her ego stroked. and she had an audience who was hanging on her every word. if she really wanted to make a difference for young women, she could have just started and backed the camp with her name- and NOT shown up.

[@richardallen144]

I'm 42, and Life Size used to play a lot on cable when I was 21, and my boyfriend from that time and I can still sing all of Eve's song. Don't feel ashamed. Eve IS great!

[@alim.9801]

🎶shine bright shine far...be a star🎶😂

[@InstantlyGlam4BreonnaTaylor]

None of Tyra’s shows aged well, like at all 😅. Like being an adult now looking back on it, that show was extremely problematic and cringy 🥴

[@ms.wilson6439]

I felt that as a kid. I never trusted her.

[@RecoveringChristian]

I still enjoy it. Showed us a side of that industry unseen before, warts and all.

[@micahcook2408]

Even though, I am a male, with the stripper segment, why didn’t Tyra bring up rhe fact that that yes its her choice and her body and even that her father said its okay but that she’s still developing and is still a child? Especially considering how predatory people could be with a literal minor.... why even want to paint a sad narrative for views when its not about being a stripper, its about being a minor and doing sexual favors for adult eyes 😂😂😂 wtf is wrong with her?

[@micahcook2408]

Like when I was 16, I thought being with an older man was all the hype.... and that came from being rejected by ppl my age; and I’ve realized if they want me at 18-16, they’ll want someone even younger. Went through that at 18 with a 30 year old who said he’d mess with a 13 year old.... like Tyra, come on. Being a stripper is a profession and also takes skill... not everyone can do it; like... 😂

[@ms.x1669]

@@micahcook2408 I can totally relate to that. When I was 16 my boyfriend was 22

[@ThexDynastxQueen]

Yeah her age was the issue not the job in general itself. Personally I don't even view 18 year olds as adults just cause the Gov't said so cause well you've met them! Yes some are very responsible sometimes sadly because they had to be and couldn't just be kids but a lot still aren't mentally or emotionally ready for the insane world of adulthood.

[@kitvaneceon7568]

Thank you somebody said it, that really disturbed me its a minor a child stripping big red flag. Teens think they're grown, I sure did at that age, they're not stupdi just inexperienced in life that matters a lot. A grown adult, (21 and over) in honestly 25 because your brain is fully developed and you're more likely to be settled in your adult life, can be taken advantage of and predated on in a job that has few protections so a child, a young girl, is even more at risk.

[@nervousbreakdown711]

Yeah how the fuck was that even legal????

[@KatiCleo]

As someone with BPD, I sometimes get flooded with emotion when hearing someone's story to the point of breaking down crying or crying just by remembering it. (People with BPD tend to have a harder time regulating their emotions so a lot of the time even small emotions tend to feel huge). But, if there is something I learned through the years and anyone with BPD will tell you, is that experiencing emotions that strong can be paralyzing for you. It doesn't help you help someone or a situation, it just makes you get overwhelmed and have something you now have to deal with yourself. Also, although receiving that kind of emotional empathy from a friend or a family member can be very validating (I mean having someone feel for you and with you), in most other cases (for example activist causes or dealing with systemic issues) it's not really helpful and can actually turn someone into making something about themselves. And I think that's where we get things wrong when it comes to empathy. You don't need to "put yourself in someone else's shoes" or even to understand them completely, you just need to (and I'm going to quote Daphne from Chappelle's special here ha) believe that everyone is having a human experience. If someone says something sucks, believe them. Try to engage with them and their experiences, critically but without prejudiced judgement. And more than anything don't use them and their story to elevate yourself. I mean we see that so often with the clishe'd UNICEF narrative of "those poor starving kids in Africa we need to help". We think we empathize when actually we are doing the opposite, we are treating these "African"(???) kids and their communities as people below us. This weird understanding we have of empathy and of looking virtuous through it, more often times than not makes us "other" the people we are talking to. And this is really emblematic in this weird ass show. No one needed to see Tyra "trying out homelessness" or in a fatsuit. She is essentially saying that her privileged experience masquerading as something is more valid or more believable than the actual experiences of the people who have lived through these situations. Not gonna lie though watching this shitshow is a good laugh...

[@ashleytieu6398]

I'm so glad I found this video. Recently wrote my thesis paper on the voyeuristic connection between whiteness and empathy through the analysis of white saviourism and I did not know about the book "Against Empathy" book you mentioned. Definitely goes straight to my read list. I feel like the current fashion is that people going all length to relate and feel bad as a feel-good mechanism (you know, I am an empath so where's my cookie?) instead of deconstructing their role in the issue. It is the same for Tyra and her show; through the task of trying to appear understanding and kind she overlooked the reality of who she really was - super model, millionaire possibly, style icon and a beautiful skinny light skin woman. Anyway, great analysis and work! Looking forward to your new videos!

[@pterodactylpie8825]

What bothers me is that if you have to experience what another person experiences in order to believe them or feel for them, then it can’t be true empathy. You only care when you are being treated that way, but it didn’t bother you that there were people in the world treating others like that. Ppl should be able to care without having to go through it themselves

[@tiaramesias4064]

Totally agree

[@marvelkid2424]

This is late but the way you didn’t stutter one time !!!!!

[@mehmeh2255]

this sounds like a decent premise for a show right until the part where she cosplays as the person for a day like.... what are you doing ma'am

[@kristineilochi4615]

Like what the hell was wrong with her?

[@breemckinney4355]

As you were going down the list of movies I was like “please don’t let her forget Life Size”. Then you started singing Eve’s song and I reverted back to my childhood and LIVED! ❤️❤️❤️

[@ErisStrange]

I love the intro on The Bluest Eye. Toni Morrison was a great writer.

[@aerokayo6137]

Both her shows were questionable. She is the worst interviewer ever; can’t control her emotions and is judgemental. As for ANTM, that was flat out abusive and exploitative.

[@ms.wilson6439]

💯% agree

[@RecoveringChristian]

She had a handful of good interviews and iconic moments. But the rest....yikes.

[@alexisjauregui3523]

So entertaining and so wrong and traumatising... I did learn english by watching antm seasons 1 to 13 and now i cannot even watch 5 minutes.

[@RecoveringChristian]

@@alexisjauregui3523 its not that bad really. It's still enjoyable if you keep things in context and in perspective. Woke culture is too woke.

[@ilznidiotic]

I don't recall ANTM being so abusive in the first half of the series. It was in the later seasons when they ran out of humane ideas for challenges.

[@cindychen459]

Thank you for: 1. Doing emotional labor (on top of what you already have to do just existing as a black woman) and talking us through race, privilege, colorism, and so much more, with much more nuance than the general public is usually exposed to 2. Normalizing conversations around social issues that make a lot of people uncomfortable, and showing me the language I can use when I want to call in the people I work with (mostly white men) to understand perspectives and experiences that they frankly have no idea how to talk about 3. That fire improvised musical outro 🔥🔥🔥 Obviously this is a thank you not just for this video, but wanted to express my gratitude for your channel!

[@mouse363]

Tyra acting homeless is like Prison Mike from the office 🤣😭

[@Floatnot]

I was getting more SurvivorMan vibes, but definitely the Michael Scott approach either way.

[@AlexciaWHY]

It’s funny because when I was a kid and I watched the Tyra show, I always felt like something was missing with every episode. And now, upon watching this video I know see it’s because it was extremely shallow, even for the genre of media it falls into

[@13doppel13]

so I‘m autistic and have always disliked these „do onto others you want done onto you“ or „walk in someones shoes“ statements, because they completely ignore that different people have different needs and expirience the world in different ways. It makes me kinda sad, but I think your video perfectly explaines all the barriers I have run into all my life, why even my most basic needs and emotions are just not accepted by most people: because other people only exist insofar to neurotypicals as they can personally relate to them. Everything that they can not imagine themselves feeling in that situation they can not accept. But no matter how long you were to walk in my shoes it wouldn‘t make you autistic. So when my difference is not explained or even visible through some superficial, easily understandable circumstance, then I have no chance to appeal to people‘s empathy, because they don‘t know how. And I think you‘re right, that those who have been more affected by systematic marginalization are more likely to actually listen to others and wanting to do actually right by them, because not only do they know how it feels, but they are also more aware that there is so much more than just one human experience. I as a white german certainly am aware that I can not know what it is like to be PoC or to have to flee your own country, but that doesn‘t stop me from acknowledging and standing for their inherent value and rights as a human being that is no less than anybody else‘s. I think that is what rational compassion is about: to try and detache your own bias and privilege from the way you see other people.

[@sorudesarutta]

I agree with you except for the interpretation of 'do unto others what you want done onto you' because it's really just saying to treat people well and with consideration, to be mindful of how you treat people. It's supposed to loosely fit into many or most situations in life, just like how one size fits all doesn't really fit all. As for 'walk in someone else's shoes,' personally I believe it means to be sympathetic, considerate, and compassionate. Of course, people cannot understand things they have not personally experienced, like how a normal person cannot understand what it is like to be an addict, or a neurotypical to a person on the autism spectrum, like you said. I hope I'm making sense, I'm not very good at articulating my thoughts.

[@kaydenpat]

Very well said. We should be capable of having empathy even if we can’t walk in someone else’s shoes.

[@hybrid09]

@@sorudesarutta I've been taught the same meanings as well. I'll just say, though, you should avoid saying "normal person/people" because it implies that people who are different are abnormal. Which, for obvious reasons, can hurt people pretty badly. This isn't meant to come off as rude btw, I just wanted to let you know that since you seem to mean well :)

[@jenynz5334]

Thank you for sharing. My son is autistic and thinks no one understands. I try my best, though. Others, (like his dad) not so much. But I do definitely feel bad when people try to expect too much from him. I can see how hard he tries. I wish other people tried even half as hard as he does.

[@sn6328]

Great comment. You've helped me put some things into words that I've been trying to figure out how to say to some people for a long time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[@AliGlife]

“Tyra…you still look like Tyra” lmaoooo I fell out my seat because it was the same thoughts I had when I first saw this episode lmao ALSO she gets to go home to her nice California King sized bed so what she laid on the floor for 20 minutes, anyone could have done that lmao

[@DwayneIsKing]

It's absolutely crazy that things we call out as obvious BS now, that we accepted or call out then. Like Tyra would be BLASTED for that homeless story on her show today 😭💀

[@C00kii0]

Tyra reminded me so much (a little TOO much) of a friend a use to have. her parents were also divorced, never wanted for anything. but as we became teenagers it was obvious that in her attempt to understand another person's perspective she did to much to react instead of just listening and respecting their experiences. She was sweet and naive and after being around kids who took on more hardships then her, her way of understanding it was by in a way "taking on" their experience as if it was her own. In the process she lost A LOT of friend's and a few family memberss.

[@Phil_Stone]

I remember once she had this man that "hated being black" on the show so Tyra's makeup team had him disguised as a white man for a day then she would interview him about his experience💀

[@NinjaOutfitInTheWash]

lol, the tyra show was so fucking weird in so many ways. She also always portrayed herself as some sort of Oprah-character, which I honestly dont think fit her.

[@siddubois4753]

Oh no you brought up the memory of that episode 💀😩 awful

[@juliannehannes11]

WHAT

[@criminalkey2259]

I remember this, "I'm white! I'm finally white!" Thinking dogs on the street liked him more because of his disguise 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@rileyglover4608]

What the actual hell? Tyra's show was weird indeed.

[@Lizalieu]

You can tell Tyra lacked empathy when she had that "We were rooting for you!" melt down on America's Next Top Model. The moment she screamed at that girl for not being emotional enough while being thrown off the show was when I realized she didn't know how to truly be in someone else's shoes. It seemed like it was more about her and her ego then about the girl and what her grandmother sacrificed for her to be there, which is what Tyra said she was upset about. I remember at the time yelling at the TV, "If she squeezes out a tear are you going to change your mind? Does she get to stay on the show?!" I was a very angry about her wanting the girl who had been beat down over so many episodes to preform for her. This is also when I stopped being so interested in the show all together. Then of course there was the colorism, featurism, and body shaming that ran rampant through the show. That didn't help.

[@RecoveringChristian]

I see what you're saying. Bare in mind: 1. Tiffany already cried multiple times in cycle 3 auditions and throughout cycle 4, including her 1 on 1s with Tyra. She cried in auditions, she cried when she was casted, she cried when they got in the house, she cried when she got drunk at dinner, she cried when Brandy left, etc. Tyra and co, confirmed in NDA expired livestreams, got her therapy bc she failed all 3 psych exams and could not be cast into the house in cycle 3. 2. Tiffany and the girls have been up since BEFORE dawn. If Ken Mok is to be believed, Tyra has been awake over 24 hours in the lead up to the talk show debut. 3. Combined with her ego and hyper sensitive sleep derprived fashion people pov, she took it as a personal offense, an ungrateful attitude compared to how all eliminated girls prior have expressed sadness/tears. 4. Tiffany remains the only girl in cycle 4 to move Tyra to tears. Outside of Estella (Tiffany took her spot, the single mom from the Bronx who slept in a chair so bed bugs would not eat her daughter, the daughter who cried from hunger and she had "nothing to give her" since they were thrown out by her bf in the middle of winter in February) who was likely also on her mind, perhaps she would have appreciated the opportunity more esp since repeated attempts from Tyra cheering on Tyra had little to no effect.

[@Lizalieu]

@@RecoveringChristian Yes, she did cry before, but there comes a time when a person will emotionally shut down and they should be allowed to do so. Tyra was demanding what would have been a performance.

[@RecoveringChristian]

@@Lizalieu ya that's the ugly side of entertainment. Exploiting trauma for views. Tyra and Ken are definitely no strangers to it. But also, neither was Tiffany. This sudden change from her likely flipped la TyTy off even more.

[@Lizalieu]

@@RecoveringChristian You're talking about a young girl who had never been on television before like she is a jaded old starlet. TyTy was being insensitive to a girl who was being told that she wasn't good enough.

[@RecoveringChristian]

@@Lizalieu not a jaded old starlet, she was a "hustler" (her own words) making ends meet, she lived a hard life and was extremely vulnerable up until she decided to quit "performing" theatrics for this show. I'm saying that contributed to that "iconic" meme from Tyra.

[@janessaarrington35]

That end credits song was an unexpected treat and I thank you for it

[@keljells]

Girl, I just found your channel and have been binging everything. I just wanted to drop a line to let you know how awesome I think you are and your content is. Very impressive! ❤️

[@xXCutiBearXx]

I think having a conversation with the disabled community would be important for this topic. Some schools "educate" youth on disability by "pretending" to be blind, going a day with a blind fold, etc. Many disabled folx do not like this.

[@Robstafarian]

Had I seen that in school, I would have gotten myself expelled on the spot.

[@idontevenknowanymore8886]

Oh yh i remember doing something like that in elementary

[@xXCutiBearXx]

@@Robstafarian yes, its very much either 1) do not teach able-bodied people about disability at all, 2) use them as inspiration porn, or 3) essentially mock the disabled experience with weird perspective-taking activities.

[@jameseames9289]

I could understand it from the perspective of forcing people to realise how things aren't usually made with disabled people in mind (like architecture, wonky pavements, etc.) by making them experience it first hand, but it'd make so much more sense to just listen to first hand accounts from the people that are actually blind or visually impaired every single day, not just for an hour in a class!

[@lkriticos7619]

I am very very glad that my school instead chose to get a blind guy in to speak to us because it was probably the first lesson young-me had on consent and boundaries.

[@DinaraTengri]

"What did you go through as a kid? Any pain? Any anything?". You can't make that stuff up.

[@ambriaashley3383]

I- 👀

[@austincde]

cc: sasha gray 😂

[@MiniM69]

Such an eloquent interviewer...

[@candacenkoth]

That being said, I do not excuse the negative impact of Tyra's work and behaviour, but I recently found that she was cruelly and constantly bullied by her elder brother without her parents knowing (for almost 2 decades) which started before her being making fun of at school for her appearance. Given: - her history of being a mean girl as a child - her perceived lack of empathy/sensitivity -the fact that she sometimes seem to compulsively use work, success and (what may appear to be a fascination for) sensationalism as a way to prove that she is worthy of acceptance, attention and respect ...Reminded me that as Will Smith said "You can't 'achieve' our way through trauma." and that issues from the past always find a way to cripple back into your life when unresolved. Hurt people hurt people. I do not condone her behaviours, but I really wish for her to find healing (if not already the case) true peace and alignment before getting into a new venture. Feel free to follow my work as an empathy-based career and business coach, helping impact-driven women to attract the fulfilling opportunities and life they deserve. instagram.com/candacenkoth

[@vanilloia7479]

great video! i used to talk about empathy/sympathy/Compassion etc. with my mom a lot. She worked as an oncology nurse and had no time for people who'd start crying at a stranger's misfortune. That doesn't help or, in the worst case, just adds an additional person who needs support.

[@tomthetank1]

Girl you had me at heroin needle going through my shoe. I'm OUT!

[@femmebrulee5053]

Not sure how this relates, but I used to work at a college in Cali. In the months before Tyra's talk show debut I think her management & PR team had been getting her gigs where she was acting as a host, all in efforts to prepare the public for seeing more of Tyra during the daytime. Well one of the spots they got her was on the "Oprah" show. The show I think was about making people's wishes come true. Anyway, this girl wrote in saying she was a psychology student at the college, she had been in foster care, now she was on her own and she was going to graduate soon and was going to transfer a 4 year college, she had a 3.+ GPA and that she didn't have a mother and that Oprah was like a fairy godmother to her. So the Oprah show calls us about this student just to do a quick check and to ask if they could film on campus. Ok so we looked up this student. From the records we found it appeared as if she had applied to attend our school but had never taken any classes. We called the producers at the Oprah show to notify them. The producer was pressing us to verify the girl's records because the story she sent in to the Oprah show was such a "Cinderella" type story and the producer's really wanted to use the story for the show. So somehow the college admin ended up calling the student directly to verify her social security # because the college registrar thought maybe the records had been switched. Ok so the girl basically said she had only taken 1 class, EVER. She couldn't remember if it was sociology or psychology. She didn't know the course # i.e. if it was Psych 101 or 103. She couldn't remember the instructor's name or what grade she received in the class (even though she allegedly just took the course a few months ago). So we called the producers at the Oprah show to let them know we could not verify that the girl was a student. We explained explicitly to the producers the conversation we had just had with the student and that anyone can submit an application and pay the application fee and they appear in the college's system as having applied and been accepted for admission. But if they haven't completed any courses then they are not officially a registered student. Ok so from what I gathered, part of the show was done in collaboration with Jane magazine. So I guess the girl sent in her picture with her story and the producer's had already determined they were going to go ahead with the show (partly based on her picture) come hell or high water. Also the college never gave the Oprah show official permission to film there but one of the college Deans said he was walking across campus and he saw Tyra filming on campus. At the time he didn't affiliate it with the request from the Oprah show to film. Anyway to wrap it up, they had the "fake" student on the show, gave her a makeover and gave her like a $30,000 scholarship. Everyone in the registration office at the college was aware of the girl's story and was in utter disbelief that the producer's went ahead with that show knowing what they knew. That whole show was based on a bunch of lies.

[@catherinepowell4149]

Wow smdh

[@Soul-pw8eo]

Wow

[@DiMagnolia]

Yikes.

[@JudeMarchisio]

Pleeeassse post a link to the episode, I have to see this!!

[@ashashraa6579]

The ultimate rule of tv. Honesty means nothing, only ratings matter.

[@Datura981]

Don't feel bad about the auntie thing! My father had me when he was 47, he'd already had 2 marriages and 6 children. Growing up, my nephews and nieces were 5-10 years older than I was. The fact that they all call me "auntie" regardless, and treat me with the same respect they treat their other aunts and uncles, makes me very humbled and proud.

[@eggobeggo6284]

That’s adorable- I’m not crying, you are

[@katara2021]

Are you me? My parents had me very late. I have grand-nieces now.

[@carinadominguez22]

@@katara2021 Awwww. And how are they?

[@dannydunn79]

I love so much of all of this. It's also super important to highlight this because there's A LOT of stigma against people who don't experience empathy or whose experiences of empathy are different or not recognized due to "mental illnesses" or various other reasons. Someone with absolutely zero empathy can be a good person. Most people wouldn't believe me if I said I don't really experience empathy because I give everything I can spare (which to be fair ain't much) to charity, I treat others with kindness and rational compassion. I actually think that having no empathy gives me an advantage in showing others compassion. If I see someone who is devastated, crying, angry, having a moment or whatever, I can approach that and be calm, be a stable rock for them to latch on to and draw comfort from. If I had empathy, and felt sad or angry because that's what they were experiencing, how would that help me help them? it wouldn't. Like in Tyra's interviews, feeling those emotions causes her to bring it back to herself, her own sadness and hurt that the experience of empathy caused her. It also helps prevent emotional burnout. I can be there for my friend's breakdown and not be emotionally drained from it myself. When I worked as a mental healthcare worker in a residential psych ward, I think empathy would have made the job that much harder. And it would have, again, made it harder to calm down and deescalate someone who is angry and ramping up to violence (mentally ill people aren't inherently violent, but a lot of the teens we saw were specifically referred for aggressive behavior and having 8 aggressive teens couped up 24/7 with each other means there will be moments, they will get violent, it's part of the job. And half of them who were violent in the ward wouldn't act like that in a normal environment). I saw my coworkers react and get angry along with them when they got yelled at or called names they'd react. I never had to restrain a single client and I think that's because their emotional turmoil never affected me and I never ramped them up further.

[@lowlowseesee]

I had to come back to this vid for the outro concert lol. So funky with the bass and bringing back the hook lol. You’re fantastic

[@selwatchesyt]

I have to let some of the younger people know. Political Correctness died towards the end of the 90s. The 2000s entertainment thrived on being offensive and lowbrow humor. That’s why there was an huge amount of comedians who wore blackface even tho it wasn’t tolerated in the 90s, ex. SNL and Tropic Thunder. So Tyra making these well intentioned but shallow gestures towards oppressed groups seemed like great quality television.

[@AllthingsZsa-2727]

The media was horrible. That's why those dumbass epic movies were able to thrive so well. Also, that's how they got away with Britney Spears and treating Paris Hilton horribly. I am SO glad we are out of that Era. It was so tone deaf in EVERY aspect.

[@paprika7930]

Even how both Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston were treated was horrendous.

[@zucchinigreen]

No girl. I'm 38. Tyra was trying to do Oprah meets Jerry Springer and doing both really badly. It wasn't great back then either. It was just heavily promoted. And before you say well it was great cause it has Daytime Emmys, so does basically every talk show on a major network ever, that's not a sign of quality.

[@Queen-of-the-Burbs]

When I watched that trash I was younger. There’s no way I’d watch it now that I’m in my thirties. Also I’m glad that as a society we’ve grown to understand how trash that stuff was.

[@whittenaw]

I remember being a little kid and seeing the episode where she donned the fatsuit. It did help me in some ways to understand the challenges, like when people would look at her like she shouldn't be eating a granola bar, but it always struck me as strange how she cried afterwards on stage. The ladies (who normally dealt with those sorts of problems everyday) that were with her patted her on the back and they had the job of comforting her.

[@zammymynakersnackstbmoth]

Yeah i was like wtf 🤨

[@elrs85]

Your smile automatically makes me smile! So happy I found your page. Love the topics you hit on!

[@deborahbreeden4394]

As an old crone, I find that your content fills the Auntie space in my zeitgeist. You bring the credibility of truth tellers. Thanks

[@syren4731]

All Tyra had to do was listen to these people and allow them to talk about their experiences with their own words, in their own voice.

[@melissagura7275]

Tyra volunteering at a soup kitchen or something would've made me respect her more. I can't believe I used to watch that show.

[@BlackSoul12012]

KZbin randomly recommended me this video and I'm so glad it did! Really enjoyed it! My personality type is said to have a lot of empathy but we're also known for being paralyzed by it quite often. So thanks for that insight and a kick in the butt to channel that empathy into some useful action. Also, as a non-American it's always interesting to learn a bit about the parts of American culture that never got really known outside of America.

[@hanna-liminal]

auntie khadija! that ending song came so truly from the heart and was so well-composed and put-together, it was amazing, thank you for performing for us!

[@coryrichards2454]

Giving very much when my 6th grade English teacher made us run through an obstacle course of desks without getting caught to understand the "escaped slaves struggle"

[@maggiee639]

This makes me wanna scream from second hand embarrassment

[@TheBigTerm]

That’s a violation lmao

[@Erguhblerguh]

Nani da fuq

[@affionge]

😩 nooo

[@DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables]

WTF did I just read??

[@osaka1265]

Y'all remember when Tyra wrote a book named Modelland? Genuinely one of the most incoherent books I've ever read. Here is an excerpt from the book "Dos: the meek and misguided muckety-muck flunkies Will ride senso unico through farewell tollbooths." Like what does this even mean????

[@sbond7510]

😂😂

[@sugarpearl9781]

I’ve read this 5 times and I have no idea.

[@GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm]

Of infamously bad books, it's one of the better ones. And that's sad.

[@Dionnnnz]

lol she didn't stop at the book, it's becoming a theme park

[@roecocoa]

@@Dionnnnz what (Googling furiously) WHAT?!

[@DamonKClark]

Your speaking voice is so incredibly amazing. I love listening to you speak.

[@sadienw27]

this video has really made me rethink the way i look at my relationship with a friend of mine (she is straight, i am queer) and how at one point i had to both go deeply personal and try to relate my problems to her relationship for her to even try to understand why a tiktok her boyfriend reposted onto another app was hurtful to me. that conversation definitely changed the direction of our friendship. it was a year and a half ago or so and now i'm thinking of it again in a new light. the way you discussed how strange it was that tyra has to actually "dress up" as these marginalized groups in order to feel for them makes me wonder. this friend in other situations seems to not take the implication that she won't ever understand my experiences or other friends' experiences well, when (in my opinion) that is just the way of the world. we can still make the effort to listen to other people to try to understand the way they see and experience our society, but we will never fully understand what we haven't experienced. i don't have much for a conclusion, but i'm starting to think that my friend might be reaching the limits of what empathy can do, and doesn't appear to think about how she can, in your words, do the best by the person she is speaking to and learning about. we're still young and our emotional intelligence and empathy skills are still growing, but i'm beginning to see that friendship from a slightly different angle.

[@nightdreams2552]

It's sad colorism is a thing. There's beauty in all colors, from the palest pale, to the darkest dark.

[@lizziezieja5130]

Ive literally always thought that! The guest would be like, "I'm suffering from Cancer" and Tyra would be like wow that's crazy because I'm struggling in my life" blah blah blah....

[@andrewkohler3707]

On one of the "cycles" (since heaven forbid we use a word like "season" like any other TV show) of America's Next Top Model, a contestant was having a hard time being away from her small child, and Mr. Jay (if memory serves) told her that Tyra has to be away from her family, too, prompting me to scream, since Tyra *doesn't have small children.*

[@joypomeroy1452]

That jam session at the end really lifted my mood, so thank you

[@KinkyCyclist]

You laughing for a two minutes was amazing. Looking forward to your commentary and other videos!!

[@bbqueen1632]

“Why were we like this in the early 2000s” ummm we’re still like that now. Nothing has changed. We make fun of people for being too skinny or too fat. We make memes of people who are physically and mentally handicap and turn them into jokes. It’s actually much worse now because we are desensitized to people’s feelings all for the sake of getting likes and clout.

[@BlueGangsta1958]

"Dad bod" and the film "Music" have entered the chat

[@serenity6831]

Right!

[@sorudesarutta]

I'd argue that it's not so vicious nowadays

[@hyacinth1320]

Seriously. There is no WERE. It's only gotten worse.

[@maryrose8478]

Good point. I do think we're more aware of mental health these days and how certain things can affect people's mental health. Take Britney for example. Making fun of her mental breakdown was normal back in the day and nobody questioned it. Nowadays it wouldn't it fly.

[@A__Mina]

For me, saddest episode was when she had a woman addicted to drugs and prostituting and Tyra shamed the lady. Her crew filmed her continuing to sell herself and she wasn't willing to get her kids back at that moment. I didn't see the point of the episode. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@katatat2030]

The shaming was the point. Seems from this video that she's masquerading shame as empathy. Edit: just realized I plagiarized the title whoops

[@dananezat]

A bunch of the worst episodes were always around sex work. Tyra always treated them as if they were moral failures and disgusting women. It was awful to witness.

[@ms.wilson6439]

That's f*cked up

[@rachellew7222]

The song at the end 😂😂😂 omg so relatable. You’re a legend

[@andienoya]

First video I’ve seen of yours, and I can already tell I’m about to binge watch alllllll ur content

[@brunetteartist2750]

The only things i know about her is that she has that model show, opened an mlm and has a lifetime movie on her

[@DreamsAreMakeBelieve]

She opened an mlm???

[@brunetteartist2750]

@@DreamsAreMakeBelieve yeah,, it failed pretty bad tho, you can look up videos on it

[@DDoubleEDouble]

Also she had a very one sided beef with Naomi Campbell

[@cottoncandy6286]

What's mlm? Never heard of it 😅😅

[@solarmoth4628]

CottonCandy it stands for multi level marketing it’s basically a pyramid scheme. It’s a scam essentially and you can’t make money selling the products and you usually end up paying more than you make unless you join the company early enough.

[@ajagirl0207]

"Guilt is a passive emotion" I love that description so so much man! It really helps to illuminate its uselessness in allyship

[@raiu]

I've tried explaining my experience of empathy or compassion to people who would label me as a sociopath because I don't experience 'natural empathy'. Empathy isn't natural to me, but I'm by no means a bad person. I do 'good' things and try to improve lives rather than make them worse, not because I 'care' about people, but because it's logical to me. I will definitely read Paul Bloom's book, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

[@stephanie6676]

I realized Tyra was an egomaniac when she re-created her sports illustrated cover because Beyoncé was making headlines for being on the cover that month and when she had Chanel Iman on and somehow made it about her with an "i was here first " attitude....that's when I tuned out