The Ultimate Guide to Divorcing a Narcissist

[@jennydrake491]

My heart used to break for my narc ex-husband because he can't help how damaged he is. But it's hard to feel sorry for him anymore after all the pain he has caused me and our children. We will never recover from what he's done to us.

[@tonygarcia1497]

I sincerely appreciate your transparency. All of my kids are grown adults as I'm faced with my divorce after 45 years of marriage, sad but true. I'm also self employed and yes the "narc ex wife will play the victim". It's amazing when you know you've had enough, don't wait as long as I did! You can ALWAYS start over! God Bless you 🙏

[@James-mc5hc]

Going through the same after 40 years, currently facing parental alienation. Everything I had has been taken or destroyed.

[@AwakenedOne-qu]

Divorcing a narcissist is a nightmare, especially if she has a rich Dad. I didn't know that there was so much BS paperwork in a divorce. I got served three times at work for just BS, then my employer fired me, who wants cops coming to your workplace three times in a month. Not one lawyer wanted to face her lawyer, I really couldn't believe what I was facing. I have no sympathy for a narc. You're first lie to me is your last. Forgiveness only breeds more abuse. Once a narc is gone, you are never the same. To this day seven years later she still hoovers, I think she's pathetic and I would have no reservations about calling the police if I see her again.

[@thenorthface4]

Sorry you went through that! I had no idea people made up lies to get restraining orders until I did some research when I took one out on my husband. The ones who lie make true abuse survivors look bad to some degree. I wish I would have recorded the moments I went through abuse.

[@peeweelickdoughal639]

Bless you!! I am so glad that you escaped

[@markjayw666]

@@thenorthface4They do it all day long. They are weapons to gain custody of children. A piece of paper protects no one.

[@FrankieBoy71]

Wow yes nars. Are truly evil! I’m going though this right now, so painful I also feel like I’d never be the same. Amazing that they can and will lie straight to the court about any and everything. I really hope I have the right Lawyer

[@markjayw666]

@@thenorthface4 I did, my lying wife still got one on me twice.

[@drprospector]

How is it possible to have the EXACT same experience, point by point, involving different people with different relationships!

[@markjayw666]

Because narcissists are mostly all the same.

[@pam8962]

It is just so sad 😞 that these people exist in the world 🌎

[@mariffree9732]

And sometimes the narc accuses the “normal” person of being the narc. Is able to afford very expensive attorneys while the other (after being a stay at home mom) can’t afford to keep the same attorney. I’m willing to bet there was a lot of abuse in the relationship. Glad she is free.

[@leonab545]

I wonder. If the marriage was 50/50, no prenup, couldn’t you use your mutual money for attorneys. I guess I lived under a rock but would like to understand this better.

[@girlfriennn3645]

This is my current situation 😢

[@MS-lg4yr]

My current situation. Served him a week ago, he’s already making every step a nightmare. Manipulating our kids, threatening to destroy me, crying fake tears to everyone (including our kids) that he just loves me and is devastated that I’m destroying our family, the list goes on. I’ve homeschooled our kids for 10 years, he’s now accusing me that I e never educated them and he took over their schooling a month ago because I don’t have the “moral capacity” to teach them (after he admitted to a marriage long porn addiction). It’s insanity and even more insane that he could win in this messed up legal system. I just want joint custody and to get away from him, but he wants to burn me to the ground.

[@lamamama41]

​@@leonab545Not if the "working" spouse pulls all the money out of the bank account and leaves the stay at home spouse with nothing.

[@pocahontas4583]

Okay! I’m not the only one that picked up on that. I was thinking the same thing! Sometimes the attorneys just aren’t doing there job. I’m currently dealing with one that isn’t even following the things the court ordered like scheduling mediation for us and our final hearing is around the corner.

[@wumphump9436]

@11:11 You touch on something very poignant - we like to poke fun at narcs but at the root they are very hurt and injured and unable to heal. These unfortunate people become hijacked by their damaged egos and cruelly they are most often not able to ever escape that ego imprisonment. It’s very sad and the destruction wrought by narcissists carves a wide swathe.

[@lo-ul8nq]

Thank you Kenny, you are so right about everything. I didn't have the greatest lawyer when I got divorce from my x husband who was a Naracist. He had a good lawyer and he got away with everything in court since he lied about everything since the judge believe his lies and so did his lawyer.

[@thenorthface4]

You need an attorney familiar with dealing with narcissists. I fired my last attorney because he wasn’t familiar in dealing with narcissists and hired a team of female attorneys. Documenting is key! Have proof of everything and be prepared to back up claims/accusations made by your partner. They will twist, blame and lie to make you look bad. Also educate yourself on dealing with narcissists because it also help you understand your court proceedings as well. There is no working things out civilly with them unfortunately. I wish I was able to settle civilly but it’s not possible.

[@leonab545]

They also have the nerve going around claiming that you are not being civil when you want to split from their abuse. How dare you not worship them and stay in the marriage. You signed a contract! You must stay or else it will be hell level 2

[@NOVemberMan-Esq]

Kenny, I've been through the same just a year and change ago and will be posting a no-nonsense series of videos to help people manage this outlandish behavior. We've had similar experiences! The benefit is, I am a lawyer and was at least smart enough to hire one, dumb enough to stick around too long to pay alimony. My narcissist professed to be a good Christian and was classically creating a narrative to make them look good and me bad. I disagree with your call for empathy; that's how we got here in the first place.

[@Behen786]

I’m so sorry you went through this. When will you post the videos?

[@faymoosa5064]

I am married to a covert narcissist for 40yrs. I cannot afford a lawyer. I am from South Africa.

[@EsmeMitchell-p9x]

Go to the Magistrate court in your area. They have divorce lawyers at minimal cost.I was advised by my Psychologist to seek help there!

[@duckdodgers2647]

Same but I'm in Texas and married for 21 years. I want to divorce but he said he would make me sell the house by court order even though it would leave me & the kids homeless. He said he didn't care.

[@goldieshawel8683]

​@duckdodgers2647 he cannot make you do anything. Texas is no fault state unless there is abuse. Go for it!!! Run....

[@gregben]

In the first few seconds of your video, I thought, "Okay, here's another well-spoken, well-dressed lawyer advertising his services". At 5 minutes through the video, I'm thinking: "Wow, this guy is really hitting home with great points and is being very frank and open about his experience!"

[@julierichmond4975]

When I was going through my divorce years ago with my ex narc he had turned my entire family against me and it was a nightmare. Our daughter was very young and at one point he took my daughter for his agreed upon time prior to the divorce finalizing and took her and dumped her off at his mother's crappy apartment for TWO WEEKS, never telling me where she was!! He didn't want her.... he just didn't want ME to have her!! He, frequently, called the police and misrepresented me to them. Told them outright LIES about me turning me into the evil person trying to get me arrested because I work in the court and he wanted to get me fired.... he did so much that it would take me days to write it all down.... he is still a nightmare in my life... it never ends!

[@EvelynSierra-q3i]

My comment would be too long. He is 100% right thank you for not being embarrassed enough to say that you were in bondage and she took advantage of you because everything you’re saying is exactly what I’m going through right now after 24 years of marriage with two autistic adult children I felt like I was stuck. He’s trying to take half of the house and my 401(k). I’m gonna fight like a lion.

[@pam8962]

Thank you for this. Thank God I've never had to deal 🙏 with this .But went through this with my parents years ago.

[@piersdowell832]

Thanks for the advice Kenny. I liked the part about having some empathy for the Narcissist, it's very true, While I'm very angry and frustrated at my soon to be Ex Wife's behaviour I have to remember that she is a narcissist because of the behaviour of her Father towards her. I view it as a mental illness. I'm 2 years in from calling time and still no court date yet but life is so much better already despite still co-habiting. She trained me to have a thick skin.....

[@Peonia-Melbourne]

this is all so true, thankyou for this video, it's truly a battle and especially when there's a business involved, people that you think that are helping you then turn on you from your own church. These people are so evil, words can't comprehend the manipulation that one goes through

[@Ilovedachshunddogs]

8. Change all passwords to all of your online banking accounts. Password reset answers to bank accounts must changed also. You don’t want your ex to reset your passwords by correctly guessing answers 9. You can absolutely close out the joint checking account by yourself, even if you are not the primary. Open a new bank account by yourself at the same bank. This way the bank can fix auto-debits to avoid overdrafts. The bank can move your paycheck autodeposit to the new checking account immediately 10. Don’t use your lawyer as a counselor, they are much more expensive. Try not to ever email your lawyer directly, use the paralegal because it costs less. It’s a good sign if your divorce attorney requires a fee for a consultation. Visit every top lawyer in a 100 mile radius so your ex can’t hire the top lawyers. Look at the state laws for divorce and file in the state that helps your cause the most. 11. Get a POA for yourself asap. If you get hurt in an accident you don’t want the narcissist to have control over your medical care. If you have a life insurance policy change the beneficiary immediately 9. Close down your email and create a new email address 10. Stay off social media 11. Don’t talk bad about your ex in front of your kids no matter what. The kids will be able to see the truth and it will save your kids pain. Don’t use your kid as a communication tool with your ex

[@WeRBellas]

I’m in California and I’m about to go through this

[@wrobinson6828]

Thanks because I'm in trouble & I don't know what to do

[@ClusterBombed01]

I’m going to meet my bulldog in a couple of hours. This girl is brilliant… this woman has stolen my family off me, our marital home, character assassinated me, restricted contact with my kids, weaponised our children to the point they’re suffering mentally & yet still no one will say a single word to her. That changes today…

[@Cgggg6876]

Bulldog means nothing.

[@ClusterBombed01]

@@Cgggg6876 I won 🙌 so it must’ve meant something..

[@kg2892]

@@ClusterBombed01That’s amazing! Congratulations! How long did the divorce process take for you? I’m filing tomorrow and have pinpointed a law firm that specializes in narcissism. I’m terrified. I’m so scarred to go through this with a child and while pregnant.

[@ClusterBombed01]

@@kg2892 26 weeks for the divorce to be finalized. Thank you btw 🙏 good luck and stay strong.

[@swait239]

@@ClusterBombed01what does winning look like for you? I’m sure you have suffered to

[@peeweelickdoughal639]

I'm laughing at her it's not callous it's making light of an abuser and a dark situation. I'm happy you escaped and are helping other people escape

[@dfwplumbing9020]

What Kenny said is so true and I knew that Iamexpecting to happen soon...

[@Satarma61]

What if you can't afford an attorney? I was married 35 years to a narc and getting ready for the divorce. He threw me out a year ago because he had somebody else moving in. This was a lifesaver for me, but now he doesn't want the divorce anymore. I even told him he can keep the house, I need to move on and heal from the trauma.

[@paulainsworth7882]

Thanks for sharing, 100% spot on from my lived experience and from yours. Also appreciate your grace in sharing and living your life.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Thank God for this man

[@jakeggpro1138]

1st , let me thank you for sharing your story , you have been an amazing source of information to me. My greatest difficulty in all this , with the children is how to respond when repeatedly they will see and recognize his abusive behaviours, especially with gaslighting, what do i say?! How can i deny them of there sense of sanity, when it took me years to acknowledge what was happening to me , being accused of being crazy . How can i take that away from them without parental alienation?

[@lidijastanisic3437]

My custody battle lasted 3 years, I on purpose didn't take lawyer, he had expensive one, I knew no one wil give him custody so I want no lawyer.

[@FrankieBoy71]

ZERO EMPATHY for Narcissists! I’m currently going though this. Pre-Trial in a week, and she made a bunch of character false statements, I’m not feeling confident about my Laywer’s skills.

[@hebrewjensen2006]

How did this go?

[@Shakashack2022]

Kenny, PLS TEACH US… looking back, what were your red flags when dating her?!!!! I hear abt the pains of divorcing a narc, esp when children are in the middle. How do we avoid marrying a narc! Thank you.

[@Shakashack2022]

Please let us know if you’ll be answering this “red flag” question in a new video. We’ll watch for sure! Thank you, great work on all of your videos.

[@lizstraub6621]

All of that hit home, and it’s been many years… but I learned early on during the separation to always be in a robe or a sweater with deep pockets where I could hide a cheap Radio Shack tape recorder in the pocket, or if it was a phone conversation I had my cell phone recording the conversation we were having on the landline. Oh and I also had my female Dragon lady attorney demand a forensic deep dig into his finances. Cost over 100k but I said (when he told me I was screwing myself because of how much it cost) I told him, Well that’s $100k that your floozie will never see! Oh my God he was a nightmare…but when you are right, when YOU were their victim as well as your children, well… eventually you will have to put on the full armor of God and strike them down! Then the healing can begin. And it may take forever and never completely happen, but they’ve’Upped your game’ and you won’t get fooled again!Remember who the F you ARE!!

[@Thomas-cc9yv]

They think they own you.

[@nupurm4264]

My female attorney sided with my husband on the sly and got me this sign a MoU with my narcissistic spouse which prevented me from filing any suit … what ensued after that was lies on finance saying he is poor not paying alimony , character assassination in living neighbourhood friends , poisoning child’s mind and then forcing me to exit the house I was living in … I am so drained . I am doing to do it pull the plug ! In my case he does not want the child custody but still Plays the child against me … odd isn’t it ? Any advise ?

[@brianmcgrane3046]

Thanks so much for this vidio, I'm married a narcissist for 35 years and this is a carbon copy of what I'm going through, But what about the men that resorted to killing themselves,

[@Unwrittenjourney28]

This is exactly what I am going through 😢

[@through.a.barrel.she.breathes]

I have this ahead of me. I am scared.

[@VickieVIKTORIOUS7Nicely]

Please call NOW for counseling. This gets overwhelming and you WILL need he'll. And do not get embroiled in conversations of negative barbs. Stay silent. No retaliation. Arguing is POINTLESS! TRUST the Lord through it all. Find supportive friends especially those you've known long periods of time.

[@sdmfdp]

Thank you for these videos Kenny.

[@ShariMiller-bc4hv]

I need a bulldog in Essex county nj I’m too traumatized from is covert narcissism he took my family away. I’m sinking. Help me Kenny please

[@LILaw-db9yr]

You mentioned make a list of questions that you are looking for in an attorney. What questions should we ask?

[@markjayw666]

No parental alienation is when a parent who is being alienated has no reason for being alienated.

[@RachelToscano]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@JemLifeMinistries]

Thank you for this excellent video an I'm at the same place of compassion for my soon to be x as well

[@kennyweiss]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Plumduff3303]

Thanks for this...very useful

[@kennyweiss]

Glad it was helpful!

[@janeandersson3]

I divorced a narc wife thx god i watched videos on youtube so i was prepared it was stillnightmare but not the ens of the world. Here im with my son in my house watching cartons. I have manu womens around but dont trust anyone yet. So listen to this man very carefully!

[@Cottonsie]

what a great person you are 😊

[@kennyweiss]

You are so kind, thank you

[@Marie-zj6ri]

What questions should I ask to find the right attorney?

[@hjhbutterfly]

Thank you for sharing this !

[@kennyweiss]

Happy to help!

[@gregben]

Empathetic, caring people are often the target of narcissists, and unfortunately become their spouses. Eventually (in my case 30+ years later) they finally figure out what's going on.

[@Purposely365]

I take care of myself

[@peeweelickdoughal639]

Narcs take control of everything and make your life hell if you don't comply. 10000 concessions to make her shut up and make "peace" slowly takes your freedom away❤

[@ArashaSP]

Can you or someone please recommend an attorney in Atlanta? 🙏🏾

[@evalisabowers8898]

She was probably going after more than what she wanted or needed so that y’all would settle in the middle and she would get what she wanted and needed. That’s what I plan on doing.

[@ce9111]

Thank you!

[@kennyweiss]

You're welcome!

[@itchyscratchy7167]

Is this pertinent when we've only been married six months and have never lived together, no kids no nothing between us ? What is there to fight over, nothing.

[@CaptainHavfun-lp4ok]

I'm disabled. I want to get away from my wife. She's not a good person. IDK what to do. I am even looking at tall building, or cliffs to jump from. She used to be nice, but has become terrible. All my friends tell me to get away from her.

[@waynehutchison4874]

Sylvia Kirk is retiring. 😢

[@starboijimmy1386]

So sorry you have to go through this dear. I know just how you feel as I was in a similar situation some time ago. My ex gave me some garbage lie when I saw him in a motel. I didn't believe him and after that I couldn't trust him at all. I started feeling like he has been cheating on a constant base and I haven't just caught him till then. I wanted to confirm my suspicion.I had to know what’s going on. I was driven to know the truth, the truth is some of us have to know Everyone is different. I got a tech guy to snoop into his phone and I got all his texts, calls and social media activities. I then found out that he had 2 month old relationship with the lady he was with at the motel. I got to know this through the infos the tech guy got me from his phone without his knowledge, He got into his phone and drives. I found Dirty proofs, real dirty things. All deleted Messages, chats, Videos, Call history from 12years back where unveiled to me. This proofs where helpful cos he worked my papers for me and now I can stay with my child and have a good job. Don’t let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more, follow him on instagram @steve.c.gerald

[@sandeepkatira7898]

Awesome Work 👌

[@divyapoduval4402]

He is not ready to give me divorce nor patch up nor ready to live me . His only intention is that i shdnt be love happily

[@gracefullycovered9709]

Anyway to get in contact with Silvia Kirk? Or know of any other good attorneys in the Denver area? Thanks for your content.

[@peterredit9556]

It is hard to believe two people used to be together and maybe have children. Now look how bad things are. It should just be a 50/50 split and save all of this rubbish….

[@kitty320]

It is now in the UK since last year, the court’s are no longer interested in who is to blame. I’ve just got to get the courage to do it.

[@MayaChadalavada-nz7qg]

50/50 with a mental case 🤣

[@thefreckledafrikan]

Nawww bro. Having empathy for a narcissist is not my cup of tea anymore. I’m totally numb. I could careless

[@havingfun5684]

Everything you said happened I had no idea

[@alihuebner9086]

kenny, thank you. My husband is cold, calculated and is an absolutely abhorrent narcissist. I'm sitting here scared. He put every thing we acquired together while dating in his name while married. I don't even know where to start. Even my cars and my small business is in his name....house too. Fucker. 28 years and a child later I don't want to have to start over. I don't want to hurt anyone or take something that doesn't belong to me but my God he doesn't feel the same. He'll be out for blood.

[@Greatness-nb9kl]

Sounds horrible. Try to stay strong and if you're a woman of faith pray for favor. If you haven't already check if your state is 'community property' one or not. If it is then it won't matter what is in his name (if you can prove esp with documents that those assets were acquired during marriage) you can include what portion of them you want in the divorce decree.

[@rravshanbek]

You have 50% rights to everything acquired while you were married? No?

[@dekimtan]

this is amazing. youre amazing mr kenny😊

[@pam8962]

You Go Kenny tell 👏 🙌 💪 it like 👍 it is

[@reuvensg]

god bless you brother. god bless you

[@faymoosa5064]

Yes He controls all the finances 😢

[@thefreckledafrikan]

CFI?

[@Patriot_ChristianLife]

I need a referral for my town.

[@latinalife2458]

They are delusional 💯true This guy thinks that with lies he gonna take my little one for me .

[@joendrsn]

this doesnt sound good at all. 3 years plus parental alienation.

[@floaretudorache9287]

They are horrible people They possess a lot of demons God protected me after 44 years I am a whole person just have a lot of resentment towards him I will overcome this but not on my own God always helped me and he will always protected me from his evil betrayal and lies only with The power of God we can overcome this.

[@AndreaD-t3l]

Hello my maiden name is Kirk , I’m in Ga i don’t know if it’s going to be nasty but I wouldn’t doubt it

[@jag5798]

My advice to men more than women, since men move on quicker. Stop with moving on to a new relationship during this process. Take time to grieve and focus on your divorce. Adjust to a new life. Otherwise, you’re just proving the other parties point that you’re a narcissist looking for a new “supply” of attention.

[@Thomas-cc9yv]

It is sad.

[@nicholecornes1915]

We know they hurt but DAM

[@nicholecornes1915]

Geeez 😢

[@christopherlittle9096]

Okay dude.

[@Hatanarc]

He did the laundry. My life.

[@xtavares]

Mann you helped me

[@kaseydey4651]

This feels so personal and is uncomfortable to watch

[@steveborkowski4330]

Wow...How much $$ did this nasty divorce cost??????

[@deepquake9]

No sympathy but pity.

[@christopherlittle9096]

Yeah okay great. Hire a great attorney that you can't afford

[@Greatness-nb9kl]

If you can't afford an attorney check with your state or local law library to see if you can access documents to file yourself. They come with instructions. Additionally, grace from The Most High comes in handy.

[@DevonFine-mz8cu]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Cgggg6876]

Lies - attorneys lie lie lie. Bill bill bill. They have low intellect.

[@thebestproductstz]

🤣👏👏👏

[@jameslimburn4210]

The problem with Sylvia is she does tend to drool all over the courtroom as she can’t breathe properly because of her flat face. Hold on, she isn’t actually a bulldog?