The VelociPastor Is An Unhinged Mess

Today we’re watching what might be the worst movie we’ve seen yet, The VelociPastor! With unfinished VFX shots, bad acting, party store costumes, and a nonsense script; this “film” is truly a sight to behold. But is this dinosaur-superhero hybrid movie at least fun to watch? Yes. It’s a real movie and it’s freaking epic guys.
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#microwavesociety #VelociPastor #moviereview
❯ In this video:
Jude
/ judemws
Josiah
/ josiahmws
/ whotookjosiahmws
Bren
/ brendanmws
/ brenmws
The VelociPastor - 2017
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, an adult performer convinces him to use it to fight crime.
This video was edited by Josiah and Lauren:
/ josiahmws
/ takeurtimeok
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Microwave Society is managed by Society Media, we make videos and this is our main channel.

[@CornVerse32]

“Your parents died Doug, it’s what parents do. They die on you” Of course how could I froget

[@Blacktemplarmarine354]

Froget 𓆏

[@evil_stevil]

​@@Blacktemplarmarine354frog🐸

[@LiaMakesContentWow]

Froget... Froggit... Undertale???

[@chrizyt677]

Alfred should have told Bruce that

[@Blademaster25]

He forgor

[@Tweb]

“I had parents once” he’d be no match for someone who had parents twice

[@NavyDigital.]

wait for the person who had no parents, quivering in fear oh wait

[@Minymonkey]

Peter Parker

[@BlenderBoys]

ive had parents more times than you could ever imagine

[@revinevan300]

“Your parents died Doug, it’s what parents do.” Ah yes, *People die when they are killed*

[@theoddityfunnyguy]

no.........

[@Randomationers]

oh I thought they turned to dust😲

[@jpy1104]

Shiro's wisdom echoes through the ages

[@oxotniknaoleney]

kill-falldown

[@complex2live]

Ah yes. The floor is made of floor

[@siobhan_is_on]

i think it's funny yall think sharknado "knows what it is" but think this movie doesnt, this movie has impeccable and intentional comedic timing lmaoooo

[@MicrowaveSociety]

Should have been reworded to “sharknado doesn’t really try to be outwardly funny”

[@gupoll]

THANK YOU! Finally someone actually gets it!

[@Looneytunesfan08]

I loved it when the Velociraptor morphed into the VFX Car on Fire

[@Randomyoutuber403]

VFX CAR ON FIRE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[@Wild-Card07]

I think you mean Velocipastor.

[@themanthemyththelegenda]

and in the tf2 font too

[@Nirmiti.]

“I don’t know much about God.” “I don’t know much about dinosaurs.” I was half-expecting them to run up to each other and kiss after the second line. 😅

[@heroofhyrule9027]

This sounds exactly like one of those ‘skits’ you’d play with your friends as a kid that is absolutely ridiculous, but you have a blast anyway. Also, I’m still petitioning for the Smurfs 2011. It’s only a matter of time.

[@linxtse]

yes

[@marioboi323]

Yes. Please smurfs 2011

[@dfx13productions47]

Nah they need to do the trilogy like the Fred movies

[@hedy7277]

​@@dfx13productions47you're right it would be so funny if they binged all 3 fred movies in one giant video that was one hour eight minutes and thirty five seconds long

[@onlyone8331]

Guess I'll petition too

[@inkdemon6065]

Can I recommend 'Rubber'? It's a horror comedy about a killer tire. And just *how* is this tire killing people? Well with its psychic powers *obviously*. Or maybe you guys can watch Killer Sofa, I still giggle at the scene where the recliner dumps a body over the railing and turns around to see someone else.

[@evoliteeverstone41]

I'm sorry, Killer WHAT?! I NEED TO SEE THAT.

[@quintencornelissen2274]

Where can i watch rubber

[@inkdemon6065]

@@quintencornelissen2274 It's on Tubi for free if I remember correctly.

[@loridsddutt6815]

Then the tire falls in love with some French lady or something and starts stalking her. It's absolutely amazing.

[@jackepicspeederwolfaj2294]

wait im actually really curious, is that movie about the killer tire real?

[@MichaeI-Wave]

Ohhh, now I get it. So this is the origin story of that one Spider-Man villain, the one who really really wanted to become a dinosaur, then became a dinosaur, and then wanted to turn everyone else into dinosaurs, for some reason. Makes so much more sense now.

[@eway44]

Sauroman?

[@AlIRounder]

“You could cure cancer with this technology.”, “BUT I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS!”

[@stephenquinn3447]

There’s actually two: Sauron and Stegron

[@elvenbuttress]

⁠I think it’s Sauron in this case, because Sauron is the Pterodactyl man

[@revinevan300]

This has the budget of approximately a ham sandwich.

[@Nerfherder219]

VFX: Car on fire

[@Randomationers]

some michael bay type shit💀

[@delta__animation]

VFX: Car on fire

[@randumbularguy]

VFX: Car on fire

[@Theonionofthedisneyjuniorlore]

VFX: Car on fire

[@Corgi_Donut]

VFX: Car on fire

[@inventedsnail82]

Ngl VFX: Car on fire was crazy… such a brilliant trick! It looked so real!

[@CasualCatYT]

Idk anymore if the editing in the move was legitimate or if it was all a joke like the office. 😂 Same thing with the script lol

[@JWMStopMotionAnimation2010]

Illuminarti: The autistic ninjas who hunt down priests who turn into dinosaurs. *Makes sense to me, Jude*

[@Perfect.unsymmetry]

It makes so much sense, what do you mean

[@JWMStopMotionAnimation2010]

You’re completely right. I understand now. Thanks for the reminder!

[@TheMiningCrafter]

@@Perfect.unsymmetrywell yeah that’s why he said it makes sense

[@JWMStopMotionAnimation2010]

OH MY HOLY CANNOLI I HAVE N E V E R HAD THIS MANY LIKES!!! Thank you all!!!

[@themanthemyththelegenda]

you forgotted that they’re Australian and Chinese

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

It makes me unbelievably happy that you guys know this movie exists. It’s such a good bad movie.

[@me_when_asd]

But does it exist? I don’t feel like it qualifies to exist

[@TheMiningCrafter]

I had genuinely never once heard of this movie in my 14 years of existence and that’s not that often that they cover a movie that I hadn’t at least heard of.

[@SpillTheTEEjabber]

Good bad? I present, G A D

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

@@TheMiningCrafter I learned about it from a podcast a couple years ago. And even then it’s a niche within a niche so I’m not surprised ya hadn’t heard of it

[@Most_Jeffinitely]

This movie is like the love child of every B movie, mixed with the amazing bulk

[@TristanVanTimmeren]

The fake bible versus got me dead, the effort was not there😂

[@CadetGen]

Cheech 4:20 "Dave's not here, son of man"

[@lunariona9899]

"What's my name?" "Frankie Mermaid." Ah yes. And my name is Sasha Dumbbells

[@ryanmason2502]

The greatest movie since "Suburban Sasquatch".

[@thebrotatochip32]

now I want to watch suburban sasquatch

[@mrgodzillaraptors8632]

Wrrrwrrr

[@Ta-m01]

why did my dyslexic ass read this as submarine sasquatch

[@LaughingStockReal]

I thought that was just a rifftrax clip

[@flinnparrygrowney2714]

Bro just referenced that one game lonely goomba played once Titled "Urban Yeti"

[@JaycieWright]

I went to high school 16 years ago with the director of this movie, and I remember him talking about the basic ideas for the plot in class, as well as the Kickstarter campaign to try and initially fund it. It's so wild for me to see this, all these years later. Hope you're doing well, Brendan!

[@Charlie-j5h3u]

wait what

[@jackos_1]

@@Charlie-j5h3uif your confused by "Hope you're doing well, Brendan!" He means the director. The director of this movie and brendan from mws have the same name

[@ZIG_ZAG_ZOOM]

14:55 I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS I WAS ACTUALLY CRYING 😭😭💀WE NEED TO NEED TO PUT THAT STUPID AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS OUTRO OVER THE ZOOM IN

[@FroggyBoi489]

“Your parents died Doug, it’s what parents do. They die on you” You hear hat folks? Don’t have kids and you won’t die

[@Crazy_Dave_-lv2pu]

You have watched velocipastor. I deem you no longer cowards. Thank you.

[@ZodiacBoi42]

I love how this doesn’t take itself seriously at all, it really feels like an episode of the office haha

[@quettaronnayotta]

I loved the part where VelociPastor said "it's VelociPastin' time" and preached with velocity all over those guys. (BTW please review The Angry Birds Movie)

[@Mixedbagofvideos]

😊

[@MaximumEpic-vk1dx]

Yes they should review the movie angry birds because some of the jokes made me laugh my ass off

[@SoundMagnet_3393]

YESSSSSSS

[@Randomationers]

they were late like 7 years with that movie

[@armageddon7432]

they would love both angry birda movies

[@Empires-legofan]

“Rar roar rarrarr ree” -velocipastor “Amen” - Other Dino’s

[@CekalaStudios]

The acting in this movie is like those ads where the have 50 million power in rise of kingdoms

[@lynashmcmash4427]

truuuuue

[@dwarfbunni]

omg, I legit would never have known those were fake bible verses and you guys looking them up made my day. thats legit the funniest part. this movie is a hidden gem

[@catgamer1000official]

This movie takes absolutely nothing about it seriously and I love it

[@AdriaticTokoru]

22:02 this is just hilarious 😂 "I'm a dinosaur!"

[@PalisadePeryton]

VFX: Society on microwave

[@ramennootles4414]

The guy who said “the hounds of hell are truly loose” and did the evil laugh is an awesome goth KZbinr and musician and his character is the ONLY thing I knew about this movie

[@LieutenantTheJackal]

This entire movie is just what would happen when me and my friends would pretend to be dinosaurs and people in Elementary School.

[@brokemaker0704]

I've always wanted to watch Velocipastor and see how bad everyone says it is.

[@philhartman1948]

well it does have a 61% critics score and 74% audience score on rotten tomatoes

[@weegeenumberone2]

@@philhartman1948 Critics: Good job! That was... (D) AWFUL Audience: That was... (C) BAD

[@RoboDude-tl9ed]

@snabelenjoyer777 that score is way too high for how bad this movie was

[@potentiallycatastrophic]

It's a spoof of horror movies

[@hutbgurb]

​@@RoboDude-tl9edit's a good bad movie

[@CollectiveMindFilms]

I’ve always wondered if the whole budget went to getting Voltaire for the project, but from what I’ve heard he’s actually pretty cool so who knows. Highly recommend ‘ Llamageddon ‘ and ‘Spaghettiman’ also

[@jayb990]

2 points of interest: this movie cost $36,000 to make, which is $35,950 more than what I thought. And also, Aurelio Voltaire is a musician that did a lot of music for Billy and Mandy who also has a KZbin channel.

[@Zombadee]

I don't need to watch any movies because I have Microwave Society, Alex Meyers, and Ryan George's Pitch meetings lol

[@Embrace-truth-that-is-christ]

So true dude are we the same person

[@armageddon7432]

swap ryan george for razzle and you have me

[@Zombadee]

@@armageddon7432 never heard of them, i will have to look them up

[@marstothestars33]

Literally me

[@RenSauxan]

20:42 so glad we’re getting more bluey references

[@CrimsonHuntsman]

And here I thought The Amazing Bulk was the worst thing I've ever seen.

[@benellison6232]

10:47 and no one is going to talk about what he is doing with those books?! Hahaha 😂

[@franciscopenajr3909]

This can't be even be called a movie, it's on par with a ytp or a home video

[@diegoxavier9107]

This is one hundred percent intentionally terrible. Funny as hell

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

Aurelio Voltaire showing up was a surprise, but a welcome one. We love our resident goth farther figure.

[@aspinthebluecat]

“We’ll fix it in post” is my electronic class’ motto lol

[@yeeto8802]

The Amazing Bulk has found a contender, I see.

[@Remington-bs6xh]

That battle would be legendary

[@waltercomunello121]

I love the scene when the priest shouted, "it's velocipastorin' time!" then velocipastored all over the place. truly a movie.

[@kysrgrim7903]

OKAY BUT the moment she meets with the pimp killed me "...CArOl.....hey.." *slap*

[@Stuffed-gamer]

That Altaire guy is a musician named Aurelio Voltaire, he made the brains song and Billy and Mandy

[@Most_Jeffinitely]

"Your parents died, thats what they do" I'm gunna say that when my best friends parents died at their funeral

[@Maniac4Bricks]

1:20 WAIT - they got Billy and Mandy "Brains" in this? I have to watch now! (And I've listened to his other songs too, very good and very unique style)

[@neonthefox3550]

19:43 someone needs to make this line into a song, it’s perfect lol

[@MemesClipsandHealthbars]

VFX: car on fire

[@InfernoTheProot]

Since when did dinosaurs need to read the Holy Bible? (I like how we have a Don't Break the Chain going here.)

[@EspressoAmòr]

Since this movie

[@marioboi323]

Since this movie

[@ultimatecultchaos]

Since this movie

[@jhammers1918]

Since this movie

[@InfernoTheProot]

Since this movie

[@Goober-Delicious]

SPLATOON SQUID. SPLATOON SQUID. SPLATOON SQUID.

[@MCDreng]

Woomy

[@SHADOW_ROSE23421]

*woomy sounds*

[@MCDreng]

@@SHADOW_ROSE23421 squid noises intensify

[@Dahica26]

Chinese ninjas from australia hunting down a pastor that can convert into a velociraptor and a woman explodes for some reason out of nowhere: the movie

[@kandyburra]

16:44 Holy shit its Aurelio Voltaire!

[@morbid_curiosity]

I still can’t get over Aurelio Voltaire being in this… absolute masterpiece

[@captainxento66]

Bro I know right😂😭

[@FRENCHIE_REVIEWS]

The red man fears no xbox

[@SuddenTangerines]

When Priest James's wife dies the arm that hits him in the face doesn't actually come from the woman, it just spawns.

[@manicpixiefangirl4189]

Commissioner Gordon to child Bruce Wayne: “Parents die. It’s what they do.”

[@MagnaRyuuDesigns]

The only good part of this movie was when Aurelio Voltaire was on screen

[@LBRambleCoreOfficial]

From 1:33-1:38 they showed the scene that used a Jurassic Park motif. Nice touch since it’s a dinosaur movie. Love those references!

[@rustosage69420]

17:57 you brought back so many old memories, my god

[@christopherorta8755]

The only good thing/redeeming factor for this movie is that Aurelio Voltaire is in it.

[@Dishonored-123]

As a chinese person can confirm i always have a gi on

[@CadetGen]

I love how when he arrived at the Great Forest of China for the first time, if you listen to that Guitar riff closely its quite literally the Jurassic Park Riff.

[@bucketbucket.]

1:18 that was METAL 🤘

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

facial expressions: funny Laughs: infectious the three wise men of the modern era love you guys

[@SouthernGothicYT]

wait, Aurelio Voltaire is in this? Oh no...

[@Werebadatskating-lg5wo]

"go to the place God would not go" me: Arkansas?

[@HyperInkling]

I found this movie long ago and watched it with my father. Goddamn we laughed

[@ScaredSackless4566]

The brother twist reveal was literally just the Humpty Dumpty "I was always there" twist from Puss and Boots.

[@denisepeterson5110]

My first mws stream im going to love this

[@DamianDamian-sj5ow]

This is baptists at our barbecue on crack and dinosaurs.

[@ScratchyMGRealname-ch1bg]

21:52 now to make sharknado look like a masterpiece

[@Dave34614]

Do you guys use a certain media player to play movies on? For example, the VLC Media Player. With it letting you guys have the subtitle font be the “Microwave Society” font.

[@pompousproductions]

Time is Cyclical. Everything rises and falls. I see that we have once again hit a time period where "Movies that don't even attempt to try" is on the rise again.

[@suprememaz]

This movie feels like it was made in a lab just to be riffed.

[@BrainSpillStudios]

I fell for those ninjas crying for Christmas Carol being sliced and diced.

[@PIxXIE_DUST]

This movie is so unfictional to where you imagine seeing and having enjoyment

[@Balderix]

You guys need to watch llamageddon next. It’s so frickin good

[@DTSsince2016]

17:16 my favorite part because I'm autistic 😂

[@GabrielPerez-br5mm]

As an autistic person I claim illuminart

[@Solkerash]

Now the need the sequel VelociPastor 2: Revenge of the Tricerapope

[@Cheemsburgerr]

Its just the bulk all over again 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mandridhugh9555]

there's a similar movie starring the late Paul Walker called, Tammy and the T-Rex where Paul gets his brain shoved into an animatronic T-Rex

[@falcon8105]

14:55 I know this whole movie is bad but man, this fucking part always gets me😂. I hate jumpcut edits like that

[@Chernobyl60]

Templar holy ninjas 18:04

[@Godzillarex12]

This is the most realistic velociraptor ever

[@DJHalla]

I have seen this movie like 10 times and the very beginning really has me laughing my ass off right when I turn it on because of that damn "VFX: car on fire" scene and the Adaline scene

[@LeviHaraldson-cj5sm]

Have you guys considered watching Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey?

[@butter6855]

Who doesn’t love VFX: car on fire

[@KokoroDokis]

There is actually a Velocipastor 2 lol I would love to see your reaction to the sequel too.

[@King_vegeta9000]

This is bulk level quality. Still light years ahead of modern marvel movies!

[@avathememelegends1293]

"Jesus is like crack, you're addicted to him" is one of my favorite lines from the movie

[@Fishwithtop-hat]

When Josiah mentioned freevee I got flashbacks to when me and my friend watched the 4 and below on IMDb rated kids movies. You guys should definitely do that.

[@Hashashinite]

That movie is a spiritual masterpiece, and you can't convince me otherwise. Because of this movie I will name my first born "Doug" regardless of gender.

[@draliththeartist2084]

ive only heard of this through gamegrumps and its been living rent free in my head ever since. i still say the name velocipastor for no reason and laugh about it.

[@DarthKross]

Finally. Been waiting for you guys to review this for awhile

[@slamg4618]

Don’t let this distract you from the fact that this movie had literally more than twice the budget of the Amazing Bulk…

[@marcuslampinen6961]

I have velocipastor on dvd