The VelociPastor Is An Unhinged Mess

Today we’re watching what might be the worst movie we’ve seen yet, The VelociPastor! With unfinished VFX shots, bad acting, party store costumes, and a nonsense script; this “film” is truly a sight to behold. But is this dinosaur-superhero hybrid movie at least fun to watch? Yes. It’s a real movie and it’s freaking epic guys.
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#microwavesociety #VelociPastor #moviereview
❯ In this video:
Jude
/ judemws
Josiah
/ josiahmws
/ whotookjosiahmws
Bren
/ brendanmws
/ brenmws
The VelociPastor - 2017
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, an adult performer convinces him to use it to fight crime.
This video was edited by Josiah and Lauren:
/ josiahmws
/ takeurtimeok
We get most of our music from:
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Microwave Society is managed by Society Media, we make videos and this is our main channel.

[@Tweb]

“I had parents once” he’d be no match for someone who had parents twice

[@NavyDigital.]

wait for the person who had no parents, quivering in fear oh wait

[@Minymonkey]

Peter Parker

[@GoofyGoober-b2r]

ive had parents more times than you could ever imagine

[@library5157]

He'd be no match for someone who had parents thrice

[@gtdc4685]

Orphans

[@the_Dos__]

"how did your parents die?" "in a VFX: Car on Fire"

[@emblemblade9245]

“A VFX Car on Fire?! A VFX Car on Fire killed Lily and James Potter?! That’s an outrage!!”

[@CornVerse32]

“Your parents died Doug, it’s what parents do. They die on you” Of course how could I froget

[@Autisticus438]

Froget 𓆏

[@evil_stevil]

​@@Autisticus438frog🐸

[@LiaMakesContentWow]

Froget... Froggit... Undertale???

[@chrizyt677]

Alfred should have told Bruce that

[@Blademaster25]

He forgor

[@JohnP1127]

I about actually fainted at the war flashback. "There's nothing we can do for her, she's too far gone" had me dead

[@Suspiciously_Specific_Sam]

It would've been funnier if she just turned into bones, in my opinion

[@HENNETT_JAMES]

It had you dead just like his wife

[@TheInvisibleMan-06]

Got the same vibe as that South Park episode where Butters pretends to kill himself and s medic goes up to the blown up pig carcass and takes its pulse and says “he’s gone😢”

[@allygator7]

I think it had her dead too

[@chypethechilean]

@@Suspiciously_Specific_Sam It's just a Crash Bandicoot death scene

[@revinevan300]

“Your parents died Doug, it’s what parents do.” Ah yes, *People die when they are killed*

[@theoddityfunnyguy]

no.........

[@Randomationers]

oh I thought they turned to dust😲

[@jpy1104]

Shiro's wisdom echoes through the ages

[@oxotniknaoleney]

kill-falldown

[@complex2live]

Ah yes. The floor is made of floor

[@siobhan_is_on]

i think it's funny yall think sharknado "knows what it is" but think this movie doesnt, this movie has impeccable and intentional comedic timing lmaoooo

[@MicrowaveSociety]

Should have been reworded to “sharknado doesn’t really try to be outwardly funny”

[@gupoll]

THANK YOU! Finally someone actually gets it!

[@Nerfherder219]

VFX: Car on fire

[@Randomationers]

some michael bay type shit💀

[@delta__animation]

VFX: Car on fire

[@goofheadgaming]

VFX: Car on fire

[@Theonionofthedisneyjuniorlore]

VFX: Car on fire

[@Corgi_Donut]

VFX: Car on fire

[@inkdemon6065]

Can I recommend 'Rubber'? It's a horror comedy about a killer tire. And just *how* is this tire killing people? Well with its psychic powers *obviously*. Or maybe you guys can watch Killer Sofa, I still giggle at the scene where the recliner dumps a body over the railing and turns around to see someone else.

[@evoliteeverstone41]

I'm sorry, Killer WHAT?! I NEED TO SEE THAT.

[@quintencornelissen2274]

Where can i watch rubber

[@inkdemon6065]

@@quintencornelissen2274 It's on Tubi for free if I remember correctly.

[@loridsddutt6815]

Then the tire falls in love with some French lady or something and starts stalking her. It's absolutely amazing.

[@jackepicspeederwolfaj2294]

wait im actually really curious, is that movie about the killer tire real?

[@Looneytunesfan08]

I loved it when the Velociraptor morphed into the VFX Car on Fire

[@PorpleGuy-1983]

VFX CAR ON FIRE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[@Wild-Card07]

I think you mean Velocipastor.

[@themanthemyththelegenda]

and in the tf2 font too

[@Random_Human_Person]

“I don’t know much about God.” “I don’t know much about dinosaurs.” I was half-expecting them to run up to each other and kiss after the second line. 😅

[@aliceramdom.s]

so the girl called him a hoocker or is that just me that heard that?

[@scribbledoodle2003]

Jurassic Park with a $5 budget

[@Quantum_Animations]

that budget is too high.

[@scribbledoodle2003]

​@@Quantum_Animations They spent the budget on Burger King

[@borger-ok5to]

@@scribbledoodle2003 1p went into the movie

[@Randomationers]

that's 5 dollars too much.

[@Perfect.unsymmetry]

5 Indian rupees

[@waffie6785]

I love movies that start with a ridiculous premise but play it completely straight and try as hard as possible to make it legitimately good.

[@nathanmcgill7249]

It looks more like they were trying as hard as possible to make it legitimately bad

[@Shaggyladd]

​@j.b.5422 It's a task failed successfully kinda thing as far as this one goes

[@Quole1234]

No, it was clearly meant to be a comedy. No idea how you could think this was ever meant to be taken seriously.

[@heroofhyrule9027]

This sounds exactly like one of those ‘skits’ you’d play with your friends as a kid that is absolutely ridiculous, but you have a blast anyway. Also, I’m still petitioning for the Smurfs 2011. It’s only a matter of time.

[@linxtse]

yes

[@marioboi323]

Yes. Please smurfs 2011

[@dfx13productions47]

Nah they need to do the trilogy like the Fred movies

[@hedy7277]

​@@dfx13productions47you're right it would be so funny if they binged all 3 fred movies in one giant video that was one hour eight minutes and thirty five seconds long

[@onlyone8331]

Guess I'll petition too

[@ZIG_ZAG_ZOOM]

14:55 I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS I WAS ACTUALLY CRYING 😭😭💀WE NEED TO NEED TO PUT THAT STUPID AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS OUTRO OVER THE ZOOM IN

[@mrnobody.4069]

IT WAS INSANE!

[@MichaeI-Wave]

Ohhh, now I get it. So this is the origin story of that one Spider-Man villain, the one who really really wanted to become a dinosaur, then became a dinosaur, and then wanted to turn everyone else into dinosaurs, for some reason. Makes so much more sense now.

[@eway44]

Sauroman?

[@AlIRounder]

“You could cure cancer with this technology.”, “BUT I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS!”

[@stephenquinn3447]

There’s actually two: Sauron and Stegron

[@elvenbuttress]

⁠I think it’s Sauron in this case, because Sauron is the Pterodactyl man

[@aliceramdom.s]

yes

[@JaycieWright]

I went to high school 16 years ago with the director of this movie, and I remember him talking about the basic ideas for the plot in class, as well as the Kickstarter campaign to try and initially fund it. It's so wild for me to see this, all these years later. Hope you're doing well, Brendan!

[@Charlie-j5h3u]

wait what

[@xaj12]

@@Charlie-j5h3uif your confused by "Hope you're doing well, Brendan!" He means the director. The director of this movie and brendan from mws have the same name

[@inventedsnail82]

Ngl VFX: Car on fire was crazy… such a brilliant trick! It looked so real!

[@CasualCatOfficial]

Idk anymore if the editing in the move was legitimate or if it was all a joke like the office. 😂 Same thing with the script lol

[@BasilDaAuraChef]

Fun Fact: The Exorcist, Altair, is played by Aurelio Voltaire, the singer known for the song "Brains" from Billy and Mandy, among others. (I honestly love his music, not sure why he's in this movie lmao)

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

I think he just likes playing that kind of character. He has an upcoming movie called "The Demonatrix" where he plays a priest. His mentor in the movie is also going to be played by Doug Bradley so that's double cool.

[@JWMStopMotionAnimation2010]

Illuminarti: The autistic ninjas who hunt down priests who turn into dinosaurs. *Makes sense to me, Jude*

[@Perfect.unsymmetry]

It makes so much sense, what do you mean

[@JWMStopMotionAnimation2010]

You’re completely right. I understand now. Thanks for the reminder!

[@TheMiningCrafter]

@@Perfect.unsymmetrywell yeah that’s why he said it makes sense

[@JWMStopMotionAnimation2010]

OH MY HOLY CANNOLI I HAVE N E V E R HAD THIS MANY LIKES!!! Thank you all!!!

[@themanthemyththelegenda]

you forgotted that they’re Australian and Chinese

[@FroggyBoi489]

“Your parents died Doug, it’s what parents do. They die on you” You hear hat folks? Don’t have kids and you won’t die

[@dustpanman2998]

That is just straight up how boss monsters work in Undertale

[@revinevan300]

This has the budget of approximately a ham sandwich.

[@k-grey1805]

"because his dad's about to get blown up by frankie mermaid" is something i never thought i would hear as a sentence

[@TristanVanTimmeren]

The fake bible versus got me dead, the effort was not there😂

[@CadetGen]

Cheech 4:20 "Dave's not here, son of man"

[@TheMiningCrafter]

17:15: “it’s like the Illuminati but more autistic” is the bust thing to ever come out of Josiah’s mouth on this channel.

[@optimisticwatermelon]

it's like me fr

[@VictorOrtiz-xj5pc]

I would like to join the Illuminart

[@Me_cool_boy]

I just imagine a trex having a plaster shirt saying “rooh roar and gro ror” and the other dinosaurs say amen

[@lordofthemoss6270]

1:33 surprised to hear the Jurassic Park sting played on a bass guitar

[@Most_Jeffinitely]

This movie is like the love child of every B movie, mixed with the amazing bulk

[@KirbyG.O.A.T]

Josiah: I love this pimp guy Bren : that is Jschlatt

[@Cherry-e8h]

@Theghostinthecorner nah I think it's very realistic

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

It makes me unbelievably happy that you guys know this movie exists. It’s such a good bad movie.

[@cogs_and_gears]

But does it exist? I don’t feel like it qualifies to exist

[@TheMiningCrafter]

I had genuinely never once heard of this movie in my 14 years of existence and that’s not that often that they cover a movie that I hadn’t at least heard of.

[@SpillTheTEEjabber]

Good bad? I present, G A D

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

@@TheMiningCrafter I learned about it from a podcast a couple years ago. And even then it’s a niche within a niche so I’m not surprised ya hadn’t heard of it

[@ZodiacBoi42]

I love how this doesn’t take itself seriously at all, it really feels like an episode of the office haha

[@ryanmason2502]

The greatest movie since "Suburban Sasquatch".

[@thebrotatochip32]

now I want to watch suburban sasquatch

[@mrgodzillaraptors8632]

Wrrrwrrr

[@Ta-m01]

why did my dyslexic ass read this as submarine sasquatch

[@LaughingStockReal]

I thought that was just a rifftrax clip

[@flinnparrygrowney2714]

Bro just referenced that one game lonely goomba played once Titled "Urban Yeti"

[@lunariona9899]

"What's my name?" "Frankie Mermaid." Ah yes. And my name is Sasha Dumbbells

[@quettaronnayotta]

I loved the part where VelociPastor said "it's VelociPastin' time" and preached with velocity all over those guys. (BTW please review The Angry Birds Movie)

[@Mixedbagofvideos]

😊

[@MaximumEpic-vk1dx]

Yes they should review the movie angry birds because some of the jokes made me laugh my ass off

[@SoundMagnet_3393]

YESSSSSSS

[@Randomationers]

they were late like 7 years with that movie

[@armageddon7432]

they would love both angry birda movies

[@JackKrivan]

"i had parents once" gives me flashbacks to "y'know i had a brother his name was Garrett"

[@HaleyBaley-h2u]

Me too!

[@Crazy_Dave_-lv2pu]

You have watched velocipastor. I deem you no longer cowards. Thank you.

[@J0ECRAWF15H]

I love that you guys are like _wizards_ of editting to the point where anyone suggests some crazy, after-effect type shit and you all just _do_ it, later. lol it's _great._

[@Empires-legofan]

“Rar roar rarrarr ree” -velocipastor “Amen” - Other Dino’s

[@ramennootles4414]

The guy who said “the hounds of hell are truly loose” and did the evil laugh is an awesome goth KZbinr and musician and his character is the ONLY thing I knew about this movie

[@aliceramdom.s]

ok

[@somestrangerando]

This movie feels like it was made in the 60's, and I love it

[@alexstuff21]

I hate it when my parents die on me, but sadly it's what they do. Happens most weeks

[@StopmotionSamurai]

I absolutely love how all three of them share like the exact same brain cell. Love this channel, just guys being dudes and having fun, you never fail to make me laugh! Keep up the amazing work!

[@RenSauxan]

20:42 so glad we’re getting more bluey references

[@bajablastman68501]

VFX car on fire is literally my twitter bio. That’s how much this movie has influenced me and the culture around me😂😂

[@SylviaGrome]

The “I had parents once” line gives me Fnaf movie Garret flashbacks

[@realtomic]

Yes

[@SetOfAllSets]

Yep

[@Shin-godzilla..]

Yeah

[@d500dev]

Ok

[@Corgi_Donut]

Yea

[@johnschulz9559]

I agree

[@claireanna9621]

The "WWWWHHHAAT?" at 5:48 took years off my life

[@AdriaticTokoru]

22:02 this is just hilarious 😂 "I'm a dinosaur!"

[@sharkocat2402]

0:30 [TPOT intro starts]

[@PalisadePeryton]

VFX: Society on microwave

[@dwarfbunni]

omg, I legit would never have known those were fake bible verses and you guys looking them up made my day. thats legit the funniest part. this movie is a hidden gem

[@catgamer1k]

This movie takes absolutely nothing about it seriously and I love it

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

Aurelio Voltaire showing up was a surprise, but a welcome one. We love our resident goth farther figure.

[@LieutenantTheJackal]

This entire movie is just what would happen when me and my friends would pretend to be dinosaurs and people in Elementary School.

[@amelonnamedkate1400]

This entire movie is unironically hysterical. I watched this with my friends and we were in tears. We still send the “She’s Fine” screenshot to each other

[@ZacharySiple]

7:18 That is hilarious! :)

[@aspinthebluecat]

“We’ll fix it in post” is my electronic class’ motto lol

[@benellison6232]

10:47 and no one is going to talk about what he is doing with those books?! Hahaha 😂

[@CekalaStudios]

The acting in this movie is like those ads where the have 50 million power in rise of kingdoms

[@lynashmcmash4427]

truuuuue

[@brokemaker0704]

I've always wanted to watch Velocipastor and see how bad everyone says it is.

[@philhartman1948]

well it does have a 61% critics score and 74% audience score on rotten tomatoes

[@weegeenumberone2]

@@philhartman1948 Critics: Good job! That was... (D) AWFUL Audience: That was... (C) BAD

[@RoboDude-tl9ed]

@snabelenjoyer777 that score is way too high for how bad this movie was

[@potentiallycatastrophic]

It's a spoof of horror movies

[@Shaggyladd]

​@@RoboDude-tl9edit's a good bad movie

[@Porg_Sith_Lord]

It’s like the Illuminati but autistic. That killed me

[@kysrgrim7903]

OKAY BUT the moment she meets with the pimp killed me "...CArOl.....hey.." *slap*

[@Zombadee]

I don't need to watch any movies because I have Microwave Society, Alex Meyers, and Ryan George's Pitch meetings lol

[@Chill_Calvinist_guy]

So true dude are we the same person

[@armageddon7432]

swap ryan george for razzle and you have me

[@Zombadee]

@@armageddon7432 never heard of them, i will have to look them up

[@marstothestars33]

Literally me

[@CollectiveMindFilms]

I’ve always wondered if the whole budget went to getting Voltaire for the project, but from what I’ve heard he’s actually pretty cool so who knows. Highly recommend ‘ Llamageddon ‘ and ‘Spaghettiman’ also

[@thedoomtrainer8292]

The fact they watched the entire movie without figuring out it was a parody was almost funnier than the movie itself

[@kimbinder6428]

I really think they knew. They were having way too much fun ignoring that fact😂😂😂😂

[@neonthefox3550]

19:43 someone needs to make this line into a song, it’s perfect lol

[@miegie5711]

18:04 I MUST CONFESS that i FEELLIKE A MONSTER!

[@Robyn-tr5pk]

I can now proudly say that I quote "touch not thy sinning hands" several times a day

[@AedanBlackheart]

Omg Voltaire was in this?! 13:23 YUP 🤟🏻😁

[@Dahica26]

Chinese ninjas from australia hunting down a pastor that can convert into a velociraptor and a woman explodes for some reason out of nowhere: the movie

[@koi_dragon]

I watched this movie with myself and three other friends back in 2018/2019 and by the time we finished the movie all my friends felt very tired and sick :)

[@ScratchyMGRealname-ch1bg]

21:52 now to make sharknado look like a masterpiece

[@Maniac4Bricks]

1:20 WAIT - they got Billy and Mandy "Brains" in this? I have to watch now! (And I've listened to his other songs too, very good and very unique style)

[@DTSsince2016]

17:16 my favorite part because I'm autistic 😂

[@waltercomunello121]

I love the scene when the priest shouted, "it's velocipastorin' time!" then velocipastored all over the place. truly a movie.

[@manicpixiefangirl4189]

Commissioner Gordon to child Bruce Wayne: “Parents die. It’s what they do.”

[@Most_Jeffinitely]

"Your parents died, thats what they do" I'm gunna say that when my best friends parents died at their funeral

[@Werebadatskating-lg5wo]

"go to the place God would not go" me: Arkansas?

[@coolman55591]

VFX car on fire is basically half of my humor

[@zippydoda8317]

I never thought I'd see a reference to one of my favorite songs in microwave society of all things, but here we are.

[@franciscopenajr3909]

This can't be even be called a movie, it's on par with a ytp or a home video

[@Stephen-Durnan]

18:00 Monster rocks bro. I love that song fr

[@CrimsonHuntsman]

And here I thought The Amazing Bulk was the worst thing I've ever seen.

[@japhettheprophet4619]

Fun fact: the guy that plays Altair also did the music for the Billy and Mandy Horrors Hand movie, and the pilot

[@JoshMuc]

20:28 the office ahh zoom in

[@Acoustic_Maxwell]

When Josiah mentioned freevee I got flashbacks to when me and my friend watched the 4 and below on IMDb rated kids movies. You guys should definitely do that.

[@aliceramdom.s]

4

[@diegoxavier9107]

This is one hundred percent intentionally terrible. Funny as hell

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

facial expressions: funny Laughs: infectious the three wise men of the modern era love you guys

[@HENNETT_JAMES]

VFX: Comment that says a joke referencing "VFX: Car on Fire"

[@Solkerash]

Now the need the sequel VelociPastor 2: Revenge of the Tricerapope

[@yeeto8802]

The Amazing Bulk has found a contender, I see.

[@Remington-bs6xh]

That battle would be legendary

[@GalaxiaStars]

"Your parents died Doug. It's what they do." Disney when trying to write any movie ever be like.

[@aliceramdom.s]

yes

[@livincountry]

"Now what's my name?" "Franky Mermaid."

[@TheLateMrValentine]

The exorcist that gets called in is the same guy that did the music for the BRAINS! episode of Billy and Mandy (and the theme for Big Boogey Adventure).

[@LBRambleCore]

From 1:33-1:38 they showed the scene that used a Jurassic Park motif. Nice touch since it’s a dinosaur movie. Love those references!

[@rustosage69420]

17:57 you brought back so many old memories, my god

[@Godzillarex12]

As a dino nerd this seems like when you buy jurassic park at dollar general

[@BrainSpillStudios]

I fell for those ninjas crying for Christmas Carol being sliced and diced.

[@avathememelegends1293]

"Jesus is like crack, you're addicted to him" is one of my favorite lines from the movie

[@aliceramdom.s]

that isn't in the film. one of the guys said that

[@jayb990]

2 points of interest: this movie cost $36,000 to make, which is $35,950 more than what I thought. And also, Aurelio Voltaire is a musician that did a lot of music for Billy and Mandy who also has a KZbin channel.

[@Big_RandyTM]

I have absolutely no idea what the plot of this movie was. Not the motivation, the end goal, I am just *lost.*

[@aliceramdom.s]

china