THE WAR FOR TEH ULTINATE WED

Eirin has created the most legendary pot to ever grace the people of Gensokyo - the ULTIOMOTE WED, worth 5 million dollars. An epic quest for that holy toke is about to begin, and after 10 years, Reimu still wants her fucking mony back.
Yuuma Toutetsu ZUN-style art by Aurora_Artz
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[@Ciryes]

Hello! 10 whole years of this goofy touhou channel! I never could have possibly imagined throwing together a bunch of images in Windows Movie Maker would have gotten me 15,000 subs on youtube but here we are. Genuinely thrilled that so many people were able to enjoy these dumb jokes. So as an anniversary celebration and a thank-you, I'm back with the longest and stupidest shitpost video I've ever made. I've seen a few people assuming my community posts were implying I was going to be coming back with regular uploads, and unfortunately nah it's just this one. I haven't had the time or the motivation to make Touhou memes in years. But I never did feel like I gave the channel a proper send-off. More like, just kind of gradually fizzled out with infrequent music uploads and then dropped off the face of the earth, which isn't fair! So, my Youmu era ends and my Yuyuko era begins - the channel gets to be dead-dead now instead of half-dead, but I hope you all enjoy this last upload! *Q: Are you really leaving?* A: Shouldn't be super surprising at this point, I'm basically already gone. It's been a while since I've been primarily into Touhou or cared about making Touhou memes and music. I'm just not feeling it anymore! Haven't been feeling it for years! Even making this video has been kind of a massive burnout already. Of course, can't say I'll _never_ upload anything again, but I definitely don't have any plans right now. *Q: What if I leave a comment asking you to make more shitposts?* A: Nope! Sorry! *Q: What if I comment on your music asking you to make more shitposts?* A: That's just kind of annoying! *Q: What about music?* A: I do want to eventually make a music channel where I can post remixes of other media, not just Touhou! When and if I do that, I'll link to it here. *Q: But I want more memes!* A: Check out my Tumblr ( ciryes.tumblr.com/tagged/touhou ) if you haven't before, I was posting memes there for like 6 straight years. *Q: So why DID you private all your shitpost videos in 2018?* A: Combination of a bunch of factors. I was a little annoyed that people would keep asking me to make more memes in the comments of music that I wanted to be taken seriously. People on Tumblr and Twitter were making callouts about me - some were justified considering I had made some super cringey and mean-spirited anti-sjw memes in the past (which have _long_ since been deleted), most of them were just calling me immature and unfunny. Either way, that shit hurts when you're a teenager! I kind of panicked and wanted to separate myself from all my meme content. Back then, this wasn't just my Touhou channel, this was my entire online identity and presence. This was the identity I was using to socialize and I was getting the impression that people hated me, so you can see how that'd end up being stressful. *Q: But your videos aren't cringe/I think they're funny!* A: Thanks! I don't need reassured about this in the slightest anymore, just figured I'd actually explain why that happened now that I'm a grown adult and have an actual perspective on it. *Q: Do you have a Discord server?* A: You gremlins aren't getting my discord 🔫 Just kidding, but while a community has definitely formed around my content, I'm not active and wouldn't have the time or interest to participate in a server. *Q: Who is your favorite 2hu girl?* A: Sanae

[@Leo_Zeo_Lhang]

Thanks for giving the channel a proper send off! And for answering the questions a lot of people had. I'd be interested in seeing more music and memes from you even if they aren't touhou related and are on a another channel. I'm sure a lot of other people would also like to see more content from you and what you're currently interested in. Thanks for all the laughs and the attention you brought to the touhou community!

[@TekNikEOSD]

its great to have a final sendoff at the very least. thank you for everything, ciryes. may we see you soon, even if its not in the field most are used to you being in. cant wait to hopefully see some songs of yours

[@yokohama3p937]

What!? I did not expect you to come back! I’ve watched your series since middle school and now I’m a senior in the University. Idk if you remember me but I was the one that said *Fantasies involving Ciryes* in Seija flips every thing.

[@kennnnny]

I’ve been following you on tumblr for around two years now, but I wasn’t expecting this at all. I hope you’re doing well, king, and thank you for the proper sendoff!

[@dimthedimwit7221]

how come you decided to change from tewi to cirno?

[@PerlDrop]

dad FINALLY came home with the WED

[@koishikisskogasa]

Yes

[@TheOminousPriestess]

OUR FATHER CAME BACK FOR US!

[@koishikomeiji1735]

where my wed grr,,,

[@bensoncheung2801]

Yo! 222nd 👍

[@idkwhatnaem]

higher than ever

[@mrsquadbot]

Ciryes is back. Omega is back. What a day

[@Leo_Zeo_Lhang]

On the same day too. Crazy

[@idkhdhdbeheb]

Who's omega?

[@prizmastarz742]

​@@idkhdhdbeheb MegamanOmega

[@kennnnny]

I can’t believe this is how I learned

[@bensoncheung2801]

Me too.

[@HeccOnlyfans]

The second coming of the OG Touhou memer Ciryes, and he's bestowed us a high quality, A-list movie length greatness. This very video will be my new religion 🗣️🙏

[@Ubermenschgaming_]

Omg H-hi daddy *blushes* 😳 k-kkonichiwa Hecc-Sama 🛐🛐🛐

[@MariFword]

@@Ubermenschgaming_ what

[@slycat9449]

23:51 When Koishi sees Utsuho "Look its a horse with a hat" When Koishi sees Saki "Look its a bird with a laser canon"

[@Why-369-o3b]

Yeah Ciryes literally predicts the future

[@lyrica-live]

Oh god... Experiencing your classic meme tone with modern characters was a trippy sort of time-travel... I had a lot of laughs, and my favorite part was the gay. That was an absolute bang of a sendoff, and you are seriously SO freaking cool for doing this and coming back for closure. Thank you for being such a fun presence in the fandom! I wish you the very best in whatever next you pursue, especially if it's music!

[@Ciryes]

Thank you! Really cool to see a comment from you, I was always a huge fan of your lyric videos! There's a couple Touhou songs that to this day I can't even hum to myself without associated words popping into my head too.

[@maribelhalcyon]

this had drama, suspense, romance, action, 10/10 would cry again

[@pureplatinumkiller5546]

20:37 i loved the part when reimu said "or i could just kill u and sell the wed u fucking dolls in pseudo paradise shit" i cried so much

[@Ciryes]

I am so glad someone caught the subtle nod to DiPP

[@ing5998]

The nostalgia is too strong here, thank you for making this, I know it's a massive burnout for you, but I hope you're able to find your own fun in this, I don't think it'd be fair if only us had fun during this

[@sodaodaoda]

AAAH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU BACK!!! You made my earliest Touhou days back when I discovered this series at around 11/12 years old, I loved your shitposts and now that I am older with a more than 2 braincells, I honestly love them even more xD Congrats on 15k!!

[@bensoncheung2801]

69 👍

[@poroso1165]

I decided to change this comment completely since i felt like i didn't express what I wanted to say in a good way. Before the premiere started I was sad and kind of scared (sad, because it was going to end, and scared that it was going to be a dissapointment). I had high hopes for the video, and it actually surprised me in many ways, I noticed multiple callbacks to older videos ( 18:41 being the whole plot of Murass Sinks Ships, 23:45 and 23:51 to Koishi Goes Crezy, 26:28 to Shinmyoumaru Screws Wit Sizes), in the end, I wasn't sad but instead, I was happy because it happened and surpassed my expectations, this is a masterpiece. We're the Apostles of Ciryes, and We shall spread the WED. (Also, if anyone asks about me not mentioning about Marisa Stole Reimu's Monys since the plot of the video is based around that, and the Clownpiss Liberats Gensokyo since it's way to obvious) (Also, fun fact, in the video of Marisa Stole Reimu's Monys there only 4 coins, but in here reimu's monys are 5 dolers)

[@suwakofumo6139]

I literally can’t believe that when I get back into touhou, MegamanOmega releases an update video, and Ciryes releases a final post.. 😭😭

[@amberhide04]

Thanks for everything you've done Ciryes, you will be forever remembered in the Touhou community as a legend and your work will- fuck man they only made god damn touhou shitposts why am I getting so emotional Still, you've brought a lot of joy to me and huge ammount of people, and I'm grateful for that. I wish you luck for your music and whatever direction you wish to take your life in, and I hope it can be filled with the same joy you gave to so many, so thank you Ciryes, and goodbye!

[@swist6374]

Bro cooked and it was delicious, this was the best 30 minutes of my life This is the ultinate shitpost

[@Maxmani]

Honestly, you got off at the right time. This stuff was peak back in the day. Nice to see you back for one last funpost.

[@Pudding404]

The biggest jebait from the biggest early 2010 2hu meme god. They didn't even change their description before uploading, they just did it. Got no idea how much i missed this.

[@kuudefoe]

12:30 I was so ready for Hanipanganda there and the Propaganiwa was like taking a bat to the side of the head. well done Ciryes. Well done

[@TeaDrinkingColonist]

totally worth the 7 years wait, i can rest easy now. god bless you ciryes, and godspeed

[@kirbyandggrotmanduz4513]

HE'S BAAAAAAAACK!! Even if it is for one final time this 30 minute video had more content in it than Oppenheimer crammed into 3 hours. I loved every second of the video and maybe in another ten years...

[@innoc4063]

23:49 was a beautiful, full-circle moment

[@lorieslori8051]

What a pleasant surprise. This is a massive hit of nostalgia, we all appreciate the channel getting a proper send-off. Wishing you best of luck in your future endeavors and music. Just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh so many times through all those years.

[@okami_akarutsuki]

I wasn't expecting Ciryes to come back but DAMN I'm so glad they back!!! I keep watching your touhou vids a couple of times per year, so looking forward for this new one!!

[@penyu1913]

aint no way

[@victorvirgili4447]

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one nonetheless

[@WishMakers]

If this is the Ciryes swan song, then it certainly lives up to the expectations Thank you for this one last meme blessing and thanks for the memories, good luck in your future endeavors!! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to laugh my ass off at this like 3 times in a row because holy shit this is the best one you've ever made like what the fuck

[@knechtor5648]

truly worth the wait, i can tell why this took 7 years to make

[@msgameandcake628]

I've never been that interested in Saki, but as someone from Texas I've gotta say her characterization here was beautiful. Perhaps someday the rest of Gensokyo will be ready for Texas like she and Koishi are. Also, its a good thing the Former Hell Gang were only going to send Reimu and Marisa to Hell 2 and not Supernatural's Super Hell! Superhell is where all of the homiesexuals go, after all, and that Gay Kiss near the end basically guarantees that's where they'll end up someday.

[@t5_k]

This video changed me as a person, thank you for making it. I shall now go and spread the wed.

[@AzatskyDungeonMaster]

and now he came back with the milk.... AND THE WEED!!!! (Thanks Ciryes for the maymays that you've done 10 years infact. Thank you.)

[@andrevital2480t]

19:20

[@Virtlux]

So glad to see one more of these again. May your future bring you as much joy as you have brought us with your works.

[@Touhouuu]

And that was the end of an era. We may never know the obsession with Cireyes's shitposts and weed but it was simply too much a memorable obsession to question. We can all finally rest happy.

[@naif9464]

Thank you, Ciryes, for everything. I know you’ll do amazing in whatever area you choose to venture into

[@Zulfa1065]

The nostalgia is too real that I thought this was a 4 year-old video. Thank you Ciryes

[@GeneralPotatoSalad]

Massive respect for giving the channel a proper signoff!

[@Clownplease]

Welcome back king

[@amirulfaiz9119]

I didnt expect it to be 30 minutes.Nicely masterpiece

[@emperortoho]

quite possibly the greatest finale of any touhou thing ever

[@ISELLSALT]

this was...something ill never get to relive this occasion, quite depressing thank you Ciryes, thank you for all the laughs, bringing many to the fanbase and for shaping the childhood for many people well, time to spread the word of wed to people i know, now that im an apostle

[@anthero3746]

This video was a piece of art from start to finish!! I'm a little sad that this will be the last we see of these, but it was fun while it lasted. Absolutely worth the wait, 100%! 👌

[@Kuro_TvT]

You actually introduced me to Touhou 10 years back when I was ten. My childhood was very cool due to all the dodging in Touhou put into reality

[@Shyguymask]

The Half-Half-Ghost NFT is my favorite

[@bannythebanhammerbunny]

8 months and only 4 likes. fell off

[@Shyguymask]

@@bannythebanhammerbunny almost four years and 3 subscribers & 50 views

[@nakanomiku5817]

This is your best absolute masterpiece man, what a farewell, we'll never forget you, you're a legend in the 2hu community❤

[@YoumuHoover]

Ciryes back at it again with the high quality 2hu sprite vids! And even more epic!

[@yuuekt9009]

thank you for closing the book on this weird internet story in such a fun way i really appreciate it

[@TekNikEOSD]

oh my god ciryes returns with the final reisen udingdong inaba (and gensokyo as a whole) and wed shenanigans to end them all

[@jjj0309]

18:58 _Clownpiss had not cleared leather 'fore a bullet fairly ripped_ _And the Saki's aim was deadly with the big iron on her hip_ _Big iron on her hip_

[@Ciryes]

what in the goddamn

[@ragewireloki6213]

Besides it’s the fallout 4 minigun. That shit is ass.

[@joeanti-governmentjones9463]

Haha the scarlet devil mansion segment was gold.

[@Solinaru]

For real though, each frame of this is amazing and it's honestly a expert level of storytelling and comedy.

[@Wolfie2hu]

We shall thank you for granting us the BEST 30 minutes of our lives, this will be memorable!! Ty!!! :]

[@AntagonistChan]

God, this is so much better than your old stuff- it still has all the zany nonsensical charm, but it's more refined, there's more actual jokes and not just the "haha cute character say edgy thing" shit we found funny as teenagers. What a perfect sendoff.

[@Ciryes]

I grew up and I got actually funny 💪

[@touhouyamaxmichezuch.1302]

This was a nice little movie. I was very hooked and it was very fun. Cool that updated characters, like characters from WBaWC and UM, and 18.5 stuff appeared, since those are the characters a part of the very modern Touhou. I'm gonna save this to a playlist so I can watch this masterpiece again in the future. Loved it.

[@reisenImperishableNight]

we are so cirback

[@drmeduimant5066]

This was a absolute masterpiece

[@bluepikmin6363]

Not even three minutes in and this sports some of the best written lines I've heard in quite a while. "I need to do a murder in there" "BWITCH" "I can smell the burglary insurance claims" "Is your name atitude problems because you have those" "U are going in a louis vuitton designer body bag if you don't shut up" Needless to say, this is a crazy ride. Thanks for giving us one last awesome video!

[@zhaohuangsfm]

All Cirnos Ciryes (The Channel) Cirnein (German Cirno) Cirnet (Russian/Slavic Cirno) Cirno (Original)

[@Fishnberg]

Touhou memes are temporary, but that WED is too powerful to die

[@giorgospapoutsakis5271]

But they smoknd the ultinaet wed its gon :(

[@Leo_Zeo_Lhang]

YES. Welcome back meme master.

[@EchnixWulf]

I always wondering if this video has someone do a crappy dub I mean yeah,it would be really fucking hilarious

[@syomituu_]

WAAAA ciryes… i truly love how you made many references to your old memes (and also the furry jokes. because i’m a furry i guess,) along side with the new characters and more, couldn’t imagine any better with this crusty half an hour long hard work, you are now to entirely rest while being entitled as one of the legends in the community. stay chill 💞

[@MasterSonicKnight]

dude comes back while also giving us the biggest masterpiece ever here, u dropped ur crown king, welcome back! even if not for long

[@yunochanishere8616]

The wed is back After years without new shitposts My diabetes came back happily

[@AllVoiceHowdy]

This needs a full fandub, like the clownpiss one by revaryk... This is beautiful Q~Q

[@CrystalC9]

That was pretty satisfying, I must say. (Would've expected Mokou to have long-since been dead though given she puked up the Hourai Elixer)

[@grumos8455]

this is quite literally the most iconic thing ive seen this whole year

[@Orochi_Otaku]

Well damn, I didn't expect Ciryes to make a video after all this time but here we are, Today is a good day.

[@XziledBlog]

I'm amazed how you managed to make a visual novel out of this

[@Phantasma6621]

Holy, most unexpected come back. The quality is as good as always. Coincidence how today is also the day Omega come back. This video is truly a -maple- 🍁 wed dream 🛌

[@squishyVMO]

RETURN OF THE KING.

[@WeDeserveWorldPeace]

That finale was spine-chilling.

[@Vertildis]

THERE IS NO WAY HE JUST CAME BACK

[@keviosaur1269]

He did, for the time being

[@billman__1010]

One more ride, 30 more minutes. The ultimate shitpost. Worth it!

[@Ubermenschgaming_]

While I wait... WE ARE JAPANESE GOBLIN 🍶🍶🍶👺👺👺👺👹👹👹👹👹👹💢💢💢💢💢🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@ducklast_name4175]

I remember being 13 watching your videos. Now im 22 and you still made me laugh just like back then.

[@frogmemo4153]

This is your Magnum Opus, and it's my Endgame.

[@LuigiSantoriniXXX16]

BRAVOOO 👏👏👏 I'll miss u. Thanks for everything.

[@almightyeggdoggo2199]

you did not just come back from a decade hiatus and drop this straight up 5 star meal

[@NullSignifier]

WHAT THE HELL, A NEW EPISODE AFTER ALL THIS TIME ???? I used to watch this show an eternity ago and it hilarious, such a trrat to get one more epiaode, thanks :)

[@memory244]

Wow, feels like I just traveled back in time. I missed this, glad to see you again ciryes.

[@Ultra_7]

Best Anti-drug PSA

[@Takane_Yamashiro]

It is hilarious seeing Ciryes do things with all the new characters. A beautiful send off. It is also funny that a few weeks later, a game really did have "Hell 2," the sequel to hell. This video was not merely a work of comedy. It was a prophesy.

[@Ciryes]

Oh no, Hell and Former Hell as separate locations have been part of Touhou lore for years. It's very much an intentional joke!

[@anueutsuho7425]

You were one of the first people I saw when I was getting into Touhou Project for the first time 10 years ago. It's sad to see you officially move on, but I also wish you luck in all your future endeavors.

[@misterhoudi2824]

Their facial expressions are amazing :3

[@TheAlmightyGream]

HOLY SHIT THE MYTH THE MAN THE LEGEND HE'S BACK AND COOKING

[@DefinitelyRan]

After many years!! He came back!! And its to end it all!! Thanks for this Ciryes!

[@provokeamount35]

I honestly think that this is your ultimate vid!

[@nyarlatothepthereptantanon1915]

>IT'S BACK

[@LunarSoul255]

ok I am BEGGING someone to do a mashup of Tsukasa's theme with the Pillar Men theme now

[@wessltov]

Maybe teh real utilmate wed were the friends we made along the wway? All joking aside, it was exciting to see this pop up out of nowhere, get absolutely smacked with how much effort went into this insanity, culminating into picturing the Cirno Fumo that made it all possible. I'll be sure to remember that image when I listen to the next track to come out! This was as good a comeback as it was a sendoff. This might be the last of these, but so were all the previous ones at some point. I see no reason to not stay subbed, to possibly be surprised with a new upload, or at least taking another trip

[@kagechu2005BISVG]

When the world wanted him most He returned.

[@Solinaru]

Damn 2023 ending off with some bangers like Kissinger dying and getting some good fucking Touhou content 😙🤌

[@doggolover4584]

I AM THE LAW

[@LancerinCompany]

Its been so long my sweet baby boy has returned

[@crime-santa]

I can't say I ever expected you to make another video, but I'm very glad you did

[@ManicPixieDreamPikachu]

Ciryes should be this year’s touhoufest guest of honor i s2g

[@auroragamer1]

All of the good and old, but upgraded and better. This couldn't have been a better send-off

[@daichungus]

Holy crap I did not expect you to come back! It was fun watching your older vids as a relatively new touhou fan!

[@tanostrelok2323]

I never thought I would see you again, thank you for uploading this

[@Johnamekin]

When the world was at it's lowest, he came back as we needed him the most

[@ChirunoMarisad]

We are so back bros

[@Reimouille9]

:Marisad:

[@agent7176]

Subbing in case you ever upload again. Just found your Clownpiss Liberates Gensokyo video and thought it was pretty funny

[@EnciodesSilverash]

THE LEGEND IS BACK!!

[@Sylvysprit]

That was pretty good, this was a great sendoff, i wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours!