The War on Condiments

[@Palebluevanilly]

When she said to just stop feeding the kids I felt that

[@tulsacaupain2882]

I do agree.

[@NoisyHill_]

I would buy Snacks but only for myself 😅

[@HighsmithCreative]

I haven’t worked in corporate for 16 years, but once I was literally called into a supervisor’s office and admonished because I didn’t say “Please” and “Thank you” enough.

[@ProctorsGamble]

Thank you for sharing this.

[@vsteinley]

I was called "harsh" for this same thing

[@er5237]

Oh my god, I worked that this stupid restaurant for a while and the manager would sputter with anger if the door wasn’t opened for every “guest” - and you had better call them that - who came in. We were also not allowed to ask people “how’s everything tasting” because it wasn’t professional enough. I’ve blocked out what we were supposed to say. Corporations ruin this country and everyone involved in them.

[@ooeycrume9689]

I’m a contracted worker from a state agency for a public school and I got told I need to say good morning lmao

[@whatintheworldhaha]

I had this same thing happen but because midday at my vet clinic I wasn’t smiling in the hallways at management 🙃

[@DKF_oli]

Ugh, I invited a friend over to my house recently which I never do. And she helped herself to make a smoothie with my frozen fruit, no problem. Next time I went to make one for myself, I saw she had left ONE cube of mango in the bag of mangoes, and opened a brand new bag of dragonfruit/pineapple/passionfruit mix only to take out nearly all the pineapple and leave the rest. Wtf kind of animal? We are grown adult women. Who does that???? I’ve fully had it with inviting people over to my home. Not to mention throwing things in my bathroom trash can with no bag. Had to throw the whole can away. Wtf. 😊

[@jacobsteele9825]

That shade of green looks gorgeous on you, Jennifer!

[@digbycrankshaft7572]

Never thought I'd be watching something like this but I can't get enough. You guys rock. Love from Australia 🇦🇺

[@briananderson8428]

Great to hear from our Aussie friends❤

[@grannygooch706]

To me , flipping the bird is like blowing a kiss😊. I embrace it.

[@ProctorsGamble]

I just wave and smile like in the movie 🎥 The Beverly Hillbillies

[@nicolelafond4463]

My brother and i do not say i love you, we flip eachother off. 😅

[@Ktco468]

kiley can you please tell these women that not only did listening to their podcast heal my relationship with my fox-news-watching, narcissistic mother but they also make me feel for the first time ever positive and in love with myself and white woman altogether, because if people like you two exist then maybe i’m okay too. I love you both!!

[@jchborg90277]

Pumps sizzles in that look.

[@sherriculver4030]

OMG, the more I listen to you ladies the more I love you. You are awesome 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@gblim398]

Asking if the petition was to prohibit petitions along with the spiel about people assuming you're in their same demographic are both SPOT ON. Once I was asked by a coworker what I was giving up for Lent. "Christianity." She stopped asking people that question.

[@Imbatmn57]

I was eating chocolate coins and someone asked if i was Jewish, i said no because im not, but hopefully they won't ask that again, like when did being Jewish be the only reason why someone would have chocolate coins 😓. Mama says in polite company dont discuss religion or politics. And i consider strangers im talking face to face with under that category.

[@tchaugn]

with stale somewhat-healthy chips or cereal or grains, I live by a forest so I just sprinkle it around on the ground for the animals so it's not just in the trash.

[@rachele8380]

i live in boston and fully on the frontlines of the no blinker epidemic. can confirm that it causes accidents. i have seen cars crashing into the center lane multiple times because of not using the blinker

[@xVibra]

Nothing pisses me off more than someone using their turn signal before they even get to the street they're turning on. I'll be crossing the street when a car is coming that has their blinker on, and I'll think they're turning on the street before me so I can just go ahead and walk, but no... that idiot keeps driving, and turns on the street AFTER the street they weren't even past yet when they turned their blinker on. It's like... who is that turn signal for? Pedestrians cannot trust ANYONE.

[@KatMarriott-eq5ru]

I'm Adultish... My t-shirt says so thanks from my 35 year old middle daughter... It true at 62 im not an adult...❤️💚💜🇨🇦

[@kathiestickel9247]

Pumps I totally agree. Just clip the bag! That aggravates me to my bones.

[@buddha7917]

Duch fan, I laugh like crazy at your humorous view on life, keep it up

[@ProctorsGamble]

Not using blinkers started in the 80s It was the beginning of the times we are in now No manners. No self awareness. No shame.

[@derek7062]

Jennifer, I totally agree with you about not wanting anyone to feel sorry for you. I hate that. Sometimes, we just have to suck it up, push through, and get her done.Please do not have a pity party for me because I can deal with my own shit.

[@vickycouturier]

It Drives me nuts when people drive like they are the only ones on the road. Honking makes me yell at you lol My friend has the bird on back of her truck. All she had to do is push a button When she wants to flip someone off . She uses it a lot 😂😂

[@cliftongaither6642]

i gotta get myself one of those. 😂

[@heathercole3541]

I'm just here for Pumps laughing at Jennifer

[@bagelbenji]

Delta work had this same rant and I agree! Free the ketchup! Also bring delta back :)

[@steellady1164]

Yesterday I was stuck behind an SUV at a light in the right turn only lane. The first vehicle safely and correctly made a right turn on red. The SUV moved up a few feet towards the intersection and stopped. So far so good right? Nope. When the light turned green, she proceeded to just sit there not paying attention. After around 15 seconds, I layed on my horn to get her to move. She looked in her rearview mirror at me and voicing a few expletives I'm guessing, then finally turned. I then turned and got in the left hand lane to turn onto my street. When I came up next to her, she thought that I was wrong for letting her know that I really didn't want to sit and wait for her to move so I guess she thought I deserved the Bird along with a scrunched up ugly face. In return I gave her one of my best eye rolls ever.

[@morganpricx]

gatekeeping the condiments is just one more way the billionaire ceo’s have gotten more greedy. oh no an extra 10¢ cost for the company to give evb enough sauce, can’t have that!

[@jstew512]

the fragile people at work who can't handle constructive or helpful feedback are the WORST when it comes to dishing it back out to others

[@ashebarley77385]

Love y’all OMG I DO! Fuckin had it on so many levels!! Once your 50 your just fuckin old … period no matter how ya feel hahaha. I’m 56 so I get to say that hahaha 😝

[@laney7929]

This comment is wild lol

[@cliftongaither6642]

im 53, do i count? 😂😂

[@Lindasmusings]

Also hate not vacuum closing half eaten food😡

[@cynditrevino3299]

Great episode.... I am one of the few that absolutely love my mother in law. She's amazing! I cherish her. She's my friend, my confidante, my 2nd mother. She never gets involved in my marriage. I can vent to her about her son 😂 and there is no judgement and gives great advice. She is a strong woman, is a hard worker (retired now) and sees the good in every situation. I feel bad for women who hate their hubby's mother. I definitely got lucky cause I know it doesn't happen this way for everyone. Ps... I enjoy flicking people off who deserve it. 😂

[@sarahprusik6000]

After the "empty calories" comment, I thought Jessica was going to start hating on condiments. "These restaurants are stingy" was the correct take and I thank her for it profusely.

[@Lindasmusings]

Driving is a pain!!! For sure. Too many others bloody cars!🤣

[@ProctorsGamble]

It’s not going to get better 😣

[@bevwest7428]

Sorry to be on your road......

[@gatsbybruno8099]

LOVING the solo episodes

[@ameliadavis1979]

Pumps, put clips on the food then hide it in a different room outside of the kitchen. Don't let your kids see where the clipped items are hidden but let them see you eat it. My Mom used to buy a lot of junk food. She hid the candy bars in living room drawers and cabinets, behind books and cabinets that have kitchen appliances that are never used and very high up. Other good food too, but mostly candy bars. The first time I didn't see any in the food cabinets I thought for about 10 minutes knowing they had to be in the house. As soon as she went to bed I started the hunt. I found them all. No one can hide junk food from me. I am way to smart for that. I would eat the one hidden the best in my room. Everyday I would get another one. When all of them were gone but one I brought it out of my room and sat in the living room to watch tv with her and ate it. I wasn't old enough to drive so she knew I had found hers. She was so mad at me thinking I found one. I laughed in her face so hard and told her she deserved it. A week later she went to the other hiding places and realized I had found all of the candy bars. She came banging and yelling on my bedroom door, which I always kept locked. I yelled through the door she should know her daughter better. My Dad was laughing. When I finally came out of my room she could not believe I figured out she hid them and I found all of them. I was probably in the 5th grade. I told her I knew we would never not have candy bars and other junk food in the house so it only made sense she would try to hide them from me. When I got married I did the same thing to my husband. It never occurred to him someone would be that crazy. When I was married I would buy clothes often. I would leave them in my trunk if he was home. The second he left I would wash them and put them in my closet. If they were dry clean items I would wait until I had multiple item to take and then put them in the closet when I picked them up. When I wore a new item, if he noticed I would act like I was upset and tell him he never pays any attention to me. He couldn't even remember what I wear. Worked everytime. At Christmas I would buy myself a lot of gifts and him a few and say they were from my parents. I would use different wrapping paper than our presents to each other. Use different name tags and tey to write like my parents. Obviously my parents lived in another state. Every Christmas he would say how my parents got him too much. I always said they love you. I never got caught. I pride myself on being so sneaky! 😂

[@Lincoln6eko]

Woke up to a new episode on my BIRTHDAY! Y'all are so sweet 🥳

[@bevwest7428]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!🎉🎉🎉

[@dorothyd.6506]

I was very fortunate that my mother- in-law had expired a few years before I met her son. Tragically, her psychopathic mothering lived on in my husband's psyche and haunted both of us for years.

[@sharonklauser9359]

I loved, loved, loved, my first mother-in-law. My second mother-in-law was a witch (no offence to witches), and the third one was exponentially worse. Dear God I'll never get married again.

[@sarahbleckman5199]

Mema is pulling a full on Benjamin Button ❤

[@monicamctaggart6933]

Oh my goodness! Just had the biggest Meemaw laugh… HungryRoot means something entirely different here in Australia. 😂😂😂

[@ProctorsGamble]

Love ❤️ myself a morning root! 🥕

[@Timoeltejano]

I live in southern California so traffic and idiots are just life. Here people drive like they have to in order to get anywhere. You have to walk that fine line of polite mixed with asshole. I'm kinder than most😮 because of my rural north Texas roots. That gets on my partner's nerves. About the in-laws. I liked my ex mother-in-law. My sons-in-law both hate their mother-in-law ( my ex-wife), but, they both love their gay daddy-in-law. And No salsa with your burrito? I'm half Mexican. That's like saying "no happiness" I always have hot sauce in the fridge. I put it on and in everything. But rarely do I eat chips with it. Keep fighting the good fight. Because if you don't, the terrorists win. WWRJD (what would Republican Jesus do?)

[@ProctorsGamble]

I’m going to need a chart to understand your family’s structure 😝 No salsa? Criminal!

[@Timoeltejano]

@@ProctorsGamble It's just as difficult for me to keep track of who is who. But seriously... Who doesn't have some form of salsa in their home.? I have 6 different kinds of hot sauce in my credenza at work. My youngest daughter carries it in her purse. All true stories.

[@zzannos]

I love you guys glad I found you

[@Alextangents]

This has to be one of my favorite episodes, love you girls. 😘 😘 ♥️ ♥️

[@PridewithKC]

I've HAD IT with lottery ticket people at the gas station. Also gas station workers doing their side work at peak times leaving customers in a hurry to work to wait for these inconsiderate simpletons.

[@randibgood]

When we had the chance to vote on allowing the lottery in my state (decades ago) I made sure to vote against it, for this very reason! It took the convenience out of the convenience store. If I just need to hand the clerk my $20 bill and give them a pump number, I shouldn't have to wait for 93 quick picks to be printed out!

[@tdsollog]

I’m a big fan of the “two finger salute”… the double bird….. But I’m a lifelong NJ resident. 🎉

[@neighbortrucks7762]

My ex husband liked to wear a t shirt that said “ I love a hot Dicken’s Cider” . Hence “ex husband”. There is a new t shirt that says Diapers over Dems.

[@randibgood]

Then we need one that says Rationality over a RAPIST.

[@robinpettit7827]

I honked at a car driving on the shoulder on the right, just to get in front of 20 cars. It was sad.

[@dennismast3591]

Taco Bell - if you can deal with the food. When you ask them for additional hot sauce, you're likely to get at least a dozen packs.

[@joeyfarrell188]

Use your blinker 😌😊

[@Leia_TheLabss]

Ommgg I’m not the Kate that wrote that but that’s literally my job too! So sick of it!! I’ve had it!

[@Lindasmusings]

Nothing nothing nothing wrong with age! Celebrate you maturing😆and getting wiser. Yes..I’m older than you🤣🤣🤣

[@chantiemaya]

As a neurodivergent person, the comment about ‘fragile people at work’ really hit me in the balls.

[@dianelee1299]

I tell the solicitors that I have already signed/donated.

[@timotheusvanesch3959]

From experience: There is a difference between hatred and disliking your mother-in-law. Dislike transponds to "she did her best, but that never really took off". Hatred comes from straight-on neglect & indifference, or giving her own kids the benefits while holding the others back, deliberately or not. The difference between fair but unliked treatment and unfair treatment.

[@neighbortrucks7762]

I’ve fucking had it with McDonald’s and their stinginess with the hot sauce when I order their breakfast burrito. I SPECIFICALLY ask for extra extra hot sauce because I like to squeeze it on each bite. They fuck it up 75% of the time. I’ve been forced to keep a back-stock in my glove box. Gawd that felt good to get that off my chest. Thank you.

[@Dreampiece.]

I think the bigger problem is that you clearly like those burritos way too much if your glovebox has extra hot sauce just for those burritos.

[@neighbortrucks7762]

@@Dreampiece. I’m pretty sure I’m good with my breakfast burrito consumption. Hot sauce galore in my glove box. Thanks for your concern about my “bigger problem”! 😂😳🧐🌯🌯🌯

[@MichaelMoriarty-HNL]

Move to Hawai`i where driving is gentle and respectful. No one honks unless something bad is going to happen. When I moved to California I thought I was in honking Hell.

[@ProctorsGamble]

Agree. But it’s an art form in south east Asian countries!

[@ProctorsGamble]

Seen on a diaper bag: God, guns and diapers! 😮

[@helenkusek2297]

That's OK if it's an Adult Diaper Bag! 😂

[@randibgood]

I don't need any of those things and find that whole wrapping "god" and guns up together absolutely sacrilege. I really don't think the one who was a barefoot immigrant and chose to hang out with the outcasts and downtrodden of society, would be a huge proponent of the unfettered access to weapons of war we have in this country.

[@streetmermaid]

New toiletry bag coming through!

[@lindalight8785]

😊 Sending a smile. I really do enjoy your podcast. I am from Southwest Missouri

[@lindakautzman7388]

Keep on fighting good fights

[@Rastebb]

When I was 14 my grandmother got me a shirt that said, "I put ketchup on my ketchup". It sat in my closet for months until they came down to visit. My parents forced me to wear it to school..I went home early that day with a broken collar bone. Nobody should wear those shirts with words. Lol

[@NoisyHill_]

Broken collar bone?! What the hell

[@Rastebb]

@@NoisyHill_ some kid popped off making fun of it and I stood my ground. I got hit with a cheap shot when I started to turn around and hit the wall. Broke on impact with the wall

[@TheTimbo1983]

Just as pumps was jumping for joy about her mother in laws demise, an add popped up for Mother’s Day gifts 😂

[@vjcodec]

Ladies please have Hal Sparks on the podcast!? ❤

[@tracybagwell]

I love these women!!!

[@TaureanTrish]

I noticed in England when I visited WAY back in the 80's (and I think they may still do it today), that when THAT driving situation happens, they will flick their high beams on and off to let you know you can go, because they are turning into the street you're on. I loved that consideration, even though it wasn't the 'rule'. Also, in Australia, you have to indicate 30 metres before you turn, which would give you enough time to go, before they turn in to the street you're on. However, if that doesn't happen, I get just as pissed off at those twats as you do Jennifer! :(( P.S. We are a weird bunch, as most travellers here know, but did you know we had a 'Coffin Confessor' (Bill Edgar). He is paid $10,000 AUD to carry out the dying wishes of his client. Priests get shut down, best mates get their indiscretions revealed, clandestine relationships get revealed and people are asked to leave the funeral. Brutal, but it seems to be quite the money earner for him.

[@psychedelicjim7093]

The word Friyay! must go back to hell. Some of us work weekends so it is never Yay ! it's Friday.

[@catherinepeloton4446]

Those are the joys of being parents ...The worst being the sneakers'horrible smell of our teenagers...75% of the french people recognize they behave badly in cars...from France...

[@jimijames63]

My horn blew a fuse. I replaced it and it blew again (a Short). I use the horn to get people going while they're on the phone at a light. I've had it.

[@ProctorsGamble]

You probably wore it out You need a heavy duty horn! 🎺

[@KatMarriott-eq5ru]

Here in Canada it's the line for loto tickets all in the same line as people who are purchasing items...i've had it ... Make a separate line for those twats...❤️💚🇨🇦

[@Lindasmusings]

At least you were normal and in control at work. Escaped the turmoil. I agree🙏👌don’t take home to bloody work!

[@barbarabell4053]

I had lunch at a place that gives you a small bottle of ketsup with your meal. The kind that Hilton gives you in Vegas. More than what's needed. Probably not good for the environment w the glass bottle...

[@AzhidaReminiec9999]

When I worked at Walmart, Someone bitched about the Salvation Army bell ringers during the Holidays ... ( The bell ringer rang his bell so loudly that it inhibited them from doing their jobs)

[@jellybean9207]

I've had it with people being polite at stop signs. No, just blasted go. And yes, "polite" is being generous.

[@ValarieDitto]

I just don’t understand why they act like the fucking condiments come out of their own paycheck? It ruins my meal! I was charged $1 for a thimble of ranch the other day. 😡

[@rcdexp12345]

I feel a good way to get the kids to seal up the bag is to Not do anything and let the corn moths lay their eggs in the bag! Eventually the kids will get a hand full of larve or new born moths and their simple brain will Make the connection that bugs are in the coco puffs! Living in the middle of dystopian mono culture agriculture in Iowa is a sure way to have this happen.

[@limolnar]

Can we talk about how it's not ketchup, it's catsup?

[@louisplank7428]

No, the standard modern-day term is ketchup, and only still referred to as catsup in a minority of places. Due to the fact language evolves throughout time, although the origin of the name was 'catsup', ketchup is now the more widely used and equally (if not more) accepted term. So no, it is ketchup.

[@420saralou]

I met my children's grandmother back in 2007 when we went to visit their father in Texas. She absolutely fell in love with me and I, her. She doesn't understand her son and why he does the things he does and says. She's all, I didn't raise him to be like that. I don't know what happened!😂 For context, when we broke up because he cheated after asking me to marry him, he says, and I quote, "you can have the girls, I just want my golf clubs." Like, fuck you! Be gone asshole! Golf is the bain of my existence. Fuck golf!

[@veneroso3337]

Worse, the donations will be declared by the retailer for a tax write-off...... You're donating for them to pay less taxes.

[@markwilder1860]

There have been a few people I’ve known that when they died, my response was “about feckin’ time”.

[@sharoncoon120]

You 2 are awesome!!!!!😅

[@michaelrg3836]

OMG, I'm the same age as Pumps!!

[@joedavenport5293]

The only condiments I like are steak sauce and bbq sauce.

[@cliftongaither6642]

ooh, A1 is the best steak sauce EVER !! 😂

[@ProctorsGamble]

I’ve had it with people putting steak sauce on a great steak! 🥩 Steak sauce is for mediocre steaks.

[@joedavenport5293]

@@ProctorsGamble I rarely put it on steaks. I mostly put it on burgers and fries.

[@shortbare4353]

You wouldn’t be going through with this if you were carnivore.

[@kimsteinke713]

True story I got banned at Pizza Hut and there really isn't a lot of Pizza hut's left in Texas anymore. Argue with the lady over 6 months I don't even know she was like a psycho play Misty for me lady. Anyway order Domino's last night I couldn't believe it every condiment the ranch the blue cheese even the peppers $0.10 $0.70 in the dressing swear to God nickeled and dimed me to death. I miss Pizza Hut but I don't miss that crazy lady. 😊

[@larav4793]

Have you interviewed Stormy yet?

[@MarianneReese-f7v]

I've had it with solicitations at grocery and big box stores, too. Sally's Army bell ringers are my biggest pet peeves in this. I am female, gay and an atheist. Sally's Army discriminates against people like me in hiring and in services. I usually just try to walk by them on my way in and out of the store, minding my own business. I never donate, and the vibes I give off when I walk by them reflect that. One year, the bell ringer insisted on saying "Merry Xmas" to me as I was leaving. I took a second out of my busy day to respond "I don't celebrate Xmas." He seemed genuinely shocked by this and replied "Oh! I'm so sorry!" I replied "I'M not!" without breaking stride.

[@randibgood]

No one should ASS-U-me anything about anyone else. I'm a white, 55 year old grandmother with a very southern accent. I am a native Georgian and I have NEVER voted for a republiCON in my life. I figured out, while attending church with my aunt at the age of 10-11, that the buybull was full of contradictions, hate, bigotry, evil and religion was only invented by MEN to CONTROL people, mostly women and children. It does so through fear and intimidation. So I've been an atheist ever since. I do celebrate Xmas, because I had 2 children and feel it's about the kids, not some imaginary sky daddy's "birth". I have no religious icons in any of my decorations. My rainbow tree is my FAVORITE (we have 3, green and silver/chrome are the others)! Very colorful and fun! I hate how people just expect others to baa-lieve 🐑 the same fairy tales as they do. And be bigoted troglodytes, just as they are. Some of us didn't trade our critical thinking skills in for blind faith.

[@TheLeadez60]

Well you could stop buying it. It's all processed food. The. you know that cereal has at. I think it's called TPS. in it. It's what I use. It's a mild detergent that I use to clean my furniture with. It's in cereal. That's just amazing Why do they put stuff like that in food? America's food is horrible.

[@1Halabia]

I agree about the obits. Read one that said “ so & so is now tap dancing in heaven with the angels” WTF?!? This woman was old and mean and certainly and no one really liked her . 🤔

[@chambrawoolley4185]

Kylee looks super hot today. I'm a straight gal. That's all😊

[@artsci2716]

I have had it with passwords! If you have more than one email account, you will have had it too!

[@patrickhughes1790]

Clapping removes bad energy

[@jeniferhood4141]

Have you abandoned the opening clap? Please don't.

[@orionrogers8690]

Why are they still home? They in college full time?

[@tlee4218]

Stop buying food they donot need. Cereal is candy.😂 Buy muesli. Let them buy their own chips. Horrible food. Then you will not be tempted by that bad food. They are young. You are trying to keep them tied to you. Love you Pumps. Stop being a suburb Mom, cut the adults off the kid mothering.

[@nasanick8217]

I’ll circle back. I tried watching on this beautiful Saturday morning, but then you started talking condiments and I thought “self”, “you don’t need to be this angry, this early - circle back”. ✌🏼 & 💜

[@tomburull2499]

I totally agree, get your head out of you ass and just signal your intentions. Let us know your plans so we can make our plans basted on your actions!!!

[@JimiJames-xq3kc]

When they don't signal, inevitably there's 50 cars behind them.

[@EtienneTC]

Please have delta work back on the show. I feel like there are so many parallel grievances. The war on condiments is REAL, and we have to make sure we tackle these corporations as a united front

[@brandonwillis4485]

OKC drivers are the worst.

[@kimsteinke713]

Tell memaw to stop calling them children. Does a grown ass adults. 😅

[@christinahek]

If we’re not actually close, “sympathy” can feel self-serving. You don’t know me, so this really just feels like my problems are now about you and how sad you feel. All you’ve done is give me a to-do: accept your thoughts and prayers so YOU feel better. I’ve had it.

[@toddsutherland]

Better help is a really problematic sponsor! I’d look into their breaches of patient information before getting them as a sponsor again.

[@beriiO]

🎉❤🎉

[@jeniferhood4141]

A "huge difference" in bowel movements...hmmmm

[@420saralou]

I don't drive. As a pedestrian, I feel like I need a big sign that says SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! STOP SIGNS AREN'T A SUGGESTION! BLINKER!!!😂😂😂

[@mitchybooooy]

Why do they call it flipping the bird? Why? What does that mean? Is it cause it’s the finger that you ‘flick’ the girls bits with that finger?