The Worst (and Best) of Retro 4chan

[@DeadwingDork]

Hey, I announced this video as a dual-release alongside another video, but that one is being delayed for a while to make room for other stuff. It's gonna be focused on long sagas and multi-thread story arcs and such. Pingas.

[@madisonhower]

Much appreciated new 4chan vid!

[@squidman1635]

weegee i hope she made lots of spaghetti die

[@Mai.Calico]

@@madisonhower real

[@Mate397]

Umm, can't view the uncensored for some reason. when I click play it brings up a directory of some png file and white background.

[@DeadwingDork]

@@Mate397 Try it now.

[@adamchastain7089]

This was just to showcase your wide voice acting range and we're here for it, well done

[@DeadwingDork]

Guilty.

[@GroovyGianni]

the "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY" still gets me every time without fail. idk how many years it's been now but it always makes me wheeze.

[@---------------------------z57]

the production quality on this is legitimately insane

[@m0-m0597]

I'm definitely going to hell after that video

[@cslyng]

Yeah, everyone give him a hand

[@user-ns4zm8qe9p]

Everyone let’s raise our hands for clawpapa

[@legendgirl101]

I once found mushrooms growing in my shower and almost puked. And they were tiny. I can't imagine letting a semen crusted washcloth fester on the floor for months and months to the point for those LONG BOIS to grow and thrive like that. I was going to type more but holy shit I'm getting sick just thinking about it.

[@eowynbates9376]

If it makes you feel any better, the mushrooms shown in the image are inkycap (coprinus) mushrooms, which are rapid growing and quite fragile. They usually spring up in a matter of hours, and have an enzyme that causes them to dissolve themselves even more rapidly. In fact, the only way to stop them from digesting themselves is to either cook them or dehydrate them. They probably sprung up and died in just one night. Inkycaps are saprobes, meaning they feed on decaying organic matter. While most inkycaps are edible, and some are quite well known for it like shaggy manes and tippler's bane, most have an enzyme in them that binds to alcohol-neutralizing enzymes in the liver, preventing it from being able to metabolize it. This causes any poor sap that has any form of alcohol within a 48 hour period of eating these mushrooms to experience every ounce of it fully with no way to break it down, giving them the worst hangover possibly imaginable. On the other hand they *are* quite tasty, so if you avoid alcohol consumption (and get your mushrooms from a um... cleaner source than the once shown in the thread) they're an excellent mushroom. My guess is that the mushrooms in your shower were also a species of inkycap, albeit a smaller species. Size of a mushroom often isn't really determined by time (unless it's a slow growing species like woody polypores or chanterelles) but more by genetics. So a smaller species of inkycap, such as the Japanese parasol inkycap, will never grow as large as as an inkcap like a shaggy mane, no matter how happy it is. Instead it will just make more mushrooms. That being said you should probably double check your shower, as even if they stopped sending up mushrooms, if there is a leak causing the wood around your shower to rot, the mycelium (actual body of the mushroom) could still be there

[@eowynbates9376]

@Acceleration Quanta As a former little girl, I can tell you right now that's not how I've ever reacted to a mushroom. That being said though some people are just plain grossed out by them, especially when they come indoors. Nothin' wrong with that

[@legendgirl101]

@@eowynbates9376 Interesting! I actually moved out and I have much better ventilation, so I don’t have to worry about mushrooms anymore, but it’s comforting to know that particular species isn’t gross. Even if its environment is.

[@ezraf.7759]

In one of my old homes I saw mushrooms growing at the base of the tub(less than an inch each) and knew that meant it wasnt insulated/sealed correctly. This was well over 10 years ago and I dont have pics so there's no way I could check what kind. The ants and termite invasion was what made me sick not the shrooms

[@Fuckyourselfgoogle]

@Acceleration Quanta tell me you have mushrooms growing in your shower without telling me you have mushrooms growing in your shower

[@CT63648]

12:50 Don't worry, the murderer was found. Still really disturbing and shockingly brazen that he would post the coordinates. RIP Emily Sander

[@leojamison3768]

WAIT THAT WAS REAL

[@crazyluigi6664]

@@leojamison3768 More importantly, who was the killer there?

[@blargminton]

@@crazyluigi6664 i searched "who killed Emily Sander" and found 'Israel Mireles'

[@bird-war]

​@@crazyluigi6664 judging from the parent comment, the OP of the 4chan post

[@AlbyCurrier]

@@crazyluigi6664 Israel Mireles, he got life imprisonment in 2013

[@lollertoaster]

Back when I was still using 4chan, I'd probably have a folder of pregnant women eating salad just because someone else posted a thread with pregnant women eating salad and I'm a digital hoarder.

[@tiberiusdawn2042]

Do you still have it

[@darkforestLied]

​@@tiberiusdawn2042 yooo...

[@froggystyle642]

@@tiberiusdawn2042 based, poast it

[@Pellkot]

The guy on /v/ who came out as attracted to certain floor tiles and all of the board posted tiles with different shapes and lurkers showing off their sub file category of tiles.

[@FauxFaFox]

​@@Pellkot you have reminded me why I have about 800mb of tile photos. I forgotten why I had them but I also didn't want to delete them in case I needed them.

[@squidman1635]

on par with the classic /v/ nostalgia video, its nice to see content about 4chan by somebody who understands it for once. good work claw

[@emersynth]

finally someone who doesn't go 'le dark web hackers will kill you'

[@BlueGamingRage]

That Abbot and Costello bit truly is timeless

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

4Chan is the most controversial website on the Internet and it's not surprising that they don't shy away on crossing the line without dealing with consequences when it comes to trolling, but at the same time, it does have a lot of good stuff inside like how famous memes were originated in that site.

[@sneff212]

Good!

[@oshkiv4684]

It was good pre 2016

[@yepwhatever1142]

@@oshkiv4684 get over yourself edgelord boomer

[@TheTdw2000]

Something tells me a website like the daily stormer, the silk road, or even *gasp* the dreaded kiwi farms are more controversial

[@beautyandtheoffbeats]

Yeah that’s 2009 4chan era for Ya.

[@n-extrafries-surprise]

I was too young to experience retro 4chan... looking at the imageboard nowadays as a slighly stable young man it feels differently depressing.

[@n-extrafries-surprise]

Ok overdrama aside, theres some interested.thread Ive seen in a /tv/? Board a while ago. And its discussing about the retro spongebob artstyle with the modern one. Really interesting stuff

[@coolman4589]

Fr i was a child back then but i get such nostalgia from seeing or hearing ab the internet in its early days

[@Astrianaut]

it kinda depends on what boards you frequent.. but overall it’s been quite awful since moot left (again, it really depends on what boards you go but lots of posts/threads nowadays are just low quality and no original content) sad

[@nxtvim2521]

​@@Astrianautyeah, only really the television and MLP boards are still kinda sane but B and r9k and all the others just have always kind of sucked; nothing but porn. but the degradation in the others is real. 4chan is impossible to post to now

[@opaIine]

​@nxtvim2521 i love how you said the mlp board is still sane have you seen some of the threads and replies? Theres like tons of coomers on the board

[@exiledPostman]

My favorite part was the whole "Nobody in particular" bit with the Abbot and Costello impressions.

[@terdragontra8900]

Especially since it introduced me to a new artist... i mean uh what haha

[@DaddyVeo1911]

​@@terdragontra8900lewdist detected

[@BodyheadPictures]

@@terdragontra8900Hide your shame.

[@SlyHikari03]

This feels like something I’d show someone that asks me “what is the internet like?”. Literally Condensed Internet. This shit is timeless. Also, this kinda reminds me of Vargskelethor Joel’s sort of humor. Ps. The “I don’t even” with butterfree and “my controller” killed me.

[@Poet482]

Damn, seeing these old threads be referred to as "retro" is making me feel older. This stuff was back in high school for me, and I remember hearing about/seeing a lot of these. "Rooty-tooty point-and-shooty" with that ultra-british thread really stand out to me.

[@croc-plunderenthusiast1396]

This video was fucking hilarious dude. I love this kinda stuff, hope you do more like it. The Yoda one made me start wheezing and smacking my desk lmfao

[@gordonslamsay8074]

At 11:30 you asked what "HO scale" was. It's a size that model train stuff comes in. Apparently it's the most popular scale for railroad models. This is all.

[@user-rx2ur5el9p]

The HO Scale is a scale that is used to weigh MY MOM. HA, GET IT? "HO"?? Haha comedy berzingle. No, it's a size for train layouts, like you said.

[@spagelsmegal]

It is the most popular scale for model trains

[@alphawolf927]

Man this takes me back to watching soothouse and SorrowTV. I WANNA GO BACK GOD DAMMIT!!!! I WANNA GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@john_toss]

You and Jersh are probably the only “streamers” I watch on KZbin

[@robertsides3626]

Just a shame Josh sounds like he's a little more done with it all after every stream. That stream with Destiny was one hell of a dirty laundry airing.

[@Wicked_Fox]

Not even Vargskelethor?!!!

[@shoutuckerdidnothingwrong]

Same, tbh. Now we just need them to do a collab and I could die happy.

[@Rezplz]

@@Wicked_Fox fell off

[@5uperM]

@@Wicked_Fox Joel streams on youtube?

[@DeezLBC]

God I haven't laughed this hard in months. I miss old 4chan so much :(

[@foxdancemedia]

Same. 4chan before 2014 was a whole different place than 4chan today. It wasn't left-wing or right-wing, it was just chaotic neutral.

[@Astrianaut]

@@foxdancemedia moot never should've left the site. it would still be like that if he was still the owner. do you think he'll ever come back?

[@foxdancemedia]

@@Astrianaut I'd like so, but I don't think he ever will.

[@daniel.holbrook]

13:50 I used to write out and rehearse my phone conversations ahead of time when my social anxiety was really killer, but never to that painstaking extent (why the hell would you include 'um's in your script, isn't the goal to avoid the 'um's)

[@CarefulHowYouStep]

i hope you understand how much these videos are appreciated. no one does these 4chan reads as well as you, claw. godspeed.

[@jonathanwilkinson4299]

14:00 that was kind of wholesome it reminds me of the post of someone with anxiety asking people for instructions on how to order a subway sandwich.

[@binkyfishy]

This is great, love all the funny voices you do for everyone. Your edited videos are always a treat

[@Tokogawa100]

As a fellow Greentext Hoarder it feels nice to find a big video of a collection of some I didnt find

[@slashingkatie7872]

I like uncensored claw on Patreon though I still laughed my ass off here

[@xavier6130]

I like censored claw on KZbin

[@jschnei3]

I was on /b/ in 2008 and I remember feeling utterly addicted to the point where I'd forget to sleep, even though it was only entertaining about 1% of the time, and mildly at that. This best-of comp makes me want to fall off the wagon tho

[@chessemchesse3676]

4chan is such a magical place it's infamous,it's hated,it created memes,it creates memes,it made memes,its a meme >ok

[@m0-m0597]

thx 4 the aids

[@chessemchesse3676]

@@m0-m0597 ur welcm lul

[@gulfcoastgaming6034]

You can say what you want about 4Chan but it was such an easy tool to find the most bizarre people. The funcummer, the guy with the pregnant woman salad folder, the piss knit sweater dude, and so many more

[@tomd5069]

It's been pretty rough lately but this video helped me laugh for the first time in a while, and also gave me a weird sense of content nostalgia, thank you.

[@wishiwashi7]

The voices you did reminded me of Sorrow TV. Thank you Claw, can't wait to watch the full! Thanks for releasing to everyone!

[@kayhaven4710]

I was wondering if anyone was gonna say this exact same thing!

[@gulfcoastgaming6034]

The simple delivery of “M&M Cart Racer. I was expecting a brawler.” is perfect

[@brolybroly4485]

Let's be real here. The web before it became mainstream/smartphones were a thing was just better overall better, enjoyable and had more freedom.

[@CrystalRose1111]

Sure, and I miss some of that, but the downsides …… the horrible horrible downsides outweighed a lot of the good parts

[@brolybroly4485]

@@CrystalRose1111 no it didn't. you just had to stay anonymous in order to be safe on the internet.

[@lovelyaero4872]

Just a nicer way to say when before women came on the internet and ruined everything

[@CrystalRose1111]

@@brolybroly4485 K but not everyone stayed anonymous nor did they know to stay anonymous. Back then you were more likely to get viruses, more likely to get catfished, and groomed (all things I experienced) Yes there was more freedom but the degeneracy was completely unchecked

[@albertsaffron7582]

Yeah idk man, the difference between waiting 10 mins for a single site to load, and bricking your computer from that months flavour of computer virus was a hair thin

[@Oliver-uv6yt]

23:38 brother hit the prediction of the decade

[@DuckyThePlumber]

😂 thats a trip down memory lane 4chan was wild back in the day. Been watching your stuff for a few years now. Glad to see you still dropping bangers.

[@lordkieta]

absolute legend over here giving us the uncensored cut for free for the quality of the entertainment and no monetary gain whatsoever. Thank you

[@pwnedeful]

The Lettuce Burrito and Merzbow one killed me

[@enciontioar]

same. couldn't make out which song it was though, and it's kind of hard since merzbow has over 400 songs

[@deathmorphosis]

@@enciontioar Merzbow has closer to 400 ALBUMS than just songs.

[@spockbetter]

"i'm moving to louisiana" 5 minutes later "i'm killing myself" whew it seems someone talked him down from the worst, i'm happy for him

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

25:01 I wasn't expecting Mort to be the voice of Dr. Dinosaur.

[@kylecrofts1639]

That Yoda part is the funniest shit I've ever heard so far.

[@LinusBitchTits]

IT’S SEXY GOD DAMMIT!

[@KingCasul]

Including a song from SMT:Imagine not even 3 minutes in really threw me off for a second. Love it!

[@undercover_elk]

14:00 I never had a cheat-sheet, but i used to plan stuff like this out in my head for like half an hour before i called anywhere as a kid. Caused me a lot of trouble everytime i had to make a doctors appoinments by myself cause i kept calling too late. lol.

[@compatriot852]

The bulking to getting terrorized by a giant rat greentext was so unexpected that I couldn't help but to laugh

[@user-rx2ur5el9p]

Hey, Clawpapí, if you want a fresh source of cringúe, look up "breath play DeviantArt comics". They range from amusingly weird to actually frightening. Definitely one of the best worst rabbit holes I've ever stumbled into.

[@rubyy.7374]

Reminds me of a similar Deviantart rabbithole but it was a fetish of women being tied up and laying on the ground in almost the same exact way. Pretty much every single female character under the sun wasn’t safe.

[@user-rx2ur5el9p]

@@rubyy.7374 1984?

[@LinusBitchTits]

@@user-rx2ur5el9pliterally 2001

[@BodyheadPictures]

@@user-rx2ur5el9p 1984.

[@oroboros9134]

Didn't expect Wu-Tang at 4:40, but damn was it welcome. Fire content as always Claw. Wouldn't mind more of this

[@donedane2269]

i missed this era of basket weaving also that line "am i being invaded by the Israeli's" sent me

[@joshchelf7729]

This reminds me of those Weekend Web animations Something Awful used to do, with Lowtax and Shmorky providing the voices.

[@smallasian5599]

Really needed this today. Thanks deadwing for the dive back to the past.

[@juankgonzalez6230]

The grandpa's first computer one had me on the floor for several minutes

[@mionfel1350]

8:12 You just made every guy feel their elbows with one simple line and that's real power money can't buy.

[@isthereabirdinhere]

I have a feeling the mint man was a guy I went to school with. It was mint strips and chewing gum if anyone still wants to know...

[@ЕвгенийШаурмятин]

tell us more about him

[@bignov5173]

The house guest one is roughly 13 years old and it still gets me every single time. The music and voice you added to this had me doubled over laughing. Well done.

[@RayWI6]

This a goated video. Thanks for the effort put into these edits.

[@bigtiredpotato]

The "I'll put wings on my BACK legs!" is still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen on the internet despite how stupid it is.

[@TheSutanian]

It's such a well structured post. What are you talking about?

[@bigtiredpotato]

@@TheSutanian I meant the evolutionary trait is stupid, not the post.

[@eggguy20]

That horror movie greentext was my favorite one and it felt like a breath of fresh air to hear it dubbed

[@teirdalin]

36:20 Literally my drunk uncle asked me this same thing.

[@direconsequences]

feels like old greentext readings from a number of years ago. love it.

[@Thesaurcery4U2C]

Oh, yeah. They caught the coordinates killer shortly after an anon informed the local police about the post. I have a niece who knew that girl really well.

[@exiledPostman]

I like the voices you did for all the characters.

[@vsavath]

the Men's Warehouse ones have a special place in my heart

[@thedayzgod]

the voice impressions you do of these people is what makes it my god please do more

[@HubbardiumKing]

The men's warehouse memes are new to me

[@JeepusChrystler]

33:57 That image showed up because in one of the interview things Sega did with the voice actors they made a joke about how much Tails loves mints No, I don't know why, and no, I don't know why I know this either, but I guess this is just what happens when you're a Sonic fan your entire life, you know things you feel like you shouldn't

[@yoshimasterleader]

Tails loving mint candy was tidbit in the JP instruction manual for Sonic 2.

[@BabaJeez]

I lol'ed and liked at the mushroom towel part. This is gold. Nice work.

[@blackwidow3734]

Such a boss for making the uncensored version free.

[@MaestroGrey]

MY hedgehog appears to have been drawn by an actual artist. Faith in humanity maintained.

[@FNKB888]

That K98 made me cry, I didn’t think you could ruin one more by sporterizing it, but I am damned wrong

[@Verwaist1998]

Best comments narration since SorrowTV. Loved every second of it.

[@5uperM]

I'm glad you uploaded an actual video again . Those reactions to mentally unstable youtubers were making me mentally unstable.

[@L3ttucePr3y]

God I remember using 4chan back in 2005 as a very young child. Bad idea.

[@aurizzistic]

Bro when you screamed about "being bombed by Israel" I spit my water out and then looked at when this was uploaded and thought it would of been like a couple hours ago.... EIGHT MONTHS BRUH

[@mariahs6]

The formatting and editing of this video is amazing! Favorite thread had to be the lettuce burrito, it reminded me of the Burrito Rant.

[@tlh0121]

I don’t think anyone could make a bunch of 4chan posts more entertaining than you. Well done.

[@s.gooberson]

18:10 DEAR FUCKING GOD also the Evangelion Abbot and Costello skit killed me

[@joceyno]

The ‘Are You Fing Sorry’ story make me cry. It absolutely fractures me.

[@SplosionMovies]

when claw yells sometimes he sounds like zim

[@Sedna_B]

I was on this hellhole almost around the exact same time and it sucked me in so bad I had to stop myself from going on it (also don't frequent x if you are paranoid and in a bad shape lol) but still this gave me sweet nostalgia despite b and all the other being generally boring and horrible. I spat my drink out most of the times, why thank you. (i feel old also, and to consider most people there were already missing the good ol days back then in '11..no comment)

[@distantmind956]

I think this might be my new favorite among your videos.

[@SukunaYaoi]

About the mushroom one, some mushrooms actually grow pretty quickly because one time when it was really humid I found a random mushroom in one of my plants the next day and it was a pretty good size, still gross though.

[@tyrannosuperior5248]

I love how there's a helicopter right when you're at the part about the Merry-go-round!

[@geezushasrisen]

“ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??” is KILLING me.

[@ayathados6629]

From a quick google search: HO scale is 1:87 scale, where 3.55mm = 1 foot. Its the most common scale for train modelling as its small enough to store; and also simultaneously large enough to see the details on some of the models. It's Half of the O scale, which is some older german stuff from before ww2 and lost its popularity after the 1970's.

[@thegatorhator6822]

I remember browsing 2008 - 2012. Good times.

[@thebigiron2950]

I actually had the ds version of that m&m kart racing game. Not bad, though that may be nostalgia talking

[@spagelsmegal]

@DeadwingDork HO scale refers to Half O scale which is a very popular model train size

[@SilvarusLupus]

The throw sandwich, bite rock is such a classic

[@MrTheWaterbear]

Happier every day I never went on that website. RIP.

[@radishfeast4021]

Great stuff! Someday I'll be showing adult grandchildren this gem in true "back in my day, life was simple" format.

[@RazeFlare]

It's been years since I've seen these and they're still just as funny, thanks man.

[@SadButTrue273]

the Bully OST in the background caught me off guard since i was playing this morning haha

[@Emel_unlegit]

Lmao this legit gives me nostalgia for I time where I wasn't on 4chan but would love to be, love this vid

[@ShrikeofCrows]

My buddy in middle school would read us greentexts at lunch break. I've always been fascinated by 4chan as an outsider

[@TechnoJunkie109]

This was phenomenal. Looking forward to the next video. Keep up the good work

[@camelback5924]

HO scale is the scale of trains, but that picture looks to have 3 rail O scale stuff

[@JXero]

Lol mega only allowed me to watch half the uncensored one free. Not knocking you for that, just thought I'd mention. Either way awesome vid and was planning to rewatch it here anyways to make sure Susan knows this is the good stuff 👌

[@conorkerr1673]

I genuinely laughed at this multiple times

[@kurtdread22]

My god the Men’s Wearhouse ones were fucking comedy gold. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. Thank you

[@ethangriffin3935]

Did a little quick math, that one anon has listened to In the End for a combined total of 158 days. *Days.*

[@a.c.2906]

Please make more of these. Please.

[@annikaberg1350]

Couldn't pay attention cause I was bopping to the music you put on in the background

[@Phono_Wizard]

Jesus. That was great. I hope for another one of these.

[@helenamccarthy6174]

4chan is such a trip man, I love it.

[@Scornfull]

HO or H0 is a rail transport modelling scale using a 1:87 scale (3.5 mm to 1 foot). It is the most popular scale of model railway in the world