The Worst Franchise

[@Pinely]

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[@dyzphoriia]

12 likes

[@MisterBadman]

If 4-5 sips of coffee gives ya the $#!¥s its not the coffee, either your on your way to incontinence or there’s something far worse going on in your bowels. Or the coffee your drinking is making you ill!

[@Gnarfledarf]

Don't put sponsored content in the middle of the video.

[@rogerroger9952]

"I am now going to sing Venom by Eminem." *proceeds to read the lyrics in a way that isn't even slightly musical*

[@antares5000]

What a performance, right?

[@sanest_emu_fan]

Liquid. Till-anal.

[@NocturnalTyphlosion]

still better than em's performance on that track

[@TheEminemOfBeatSaber]

The guy above me might be deaf

[@SolarFlare307]

GOT THAT ADRENALINE MOMENNUM

[@goblinville]

The venom movies are great because Tom Hardy is someone who is conventionally attractive yet he's a character actor. He's like Mike Rowe doing dirty jobs. Just a guy who loves his gross job and not afraid to be disgusting

[@andshescallingacab4346]

tom hardy and his princess lips

[@NeonNijahn]

I love seeing Tom Hardy respond to dumb tabloid questions. He shuts down those reporters with tact and lays to bare the stupidity of the whole celebrity gossip columnist industry.

[@ilikesniffingpaper]

Is he baby girl? That's the more important question.

[@CasualKing21]

Don't forget Brazilian jiu-jitsu badass!!

[@jefftakesdscakes30]

No dude it just got a resurgence

[@Jogproof]

I have never heard anyone call SymBrock a sibling relationship they even have a kid in the comics... I need Venom 3 to just be them raising Sleeper

[@mammoneymelon]

straight people missing gay allegories is one of life's constants 😔

[@KetsubanSolo]

​​@@mammoneymelonWELL AKSHUALLY The original concept for Venom was an alien symbiote bonding to a woman who was mourning the death of her husband and miscarriage of her child due to an unintended side effect of Spider-Man's actions. However, Marvel felt the story was too dark, so the woman was changed into a dude and they toned the elements down. In both versions, the symbiote is basically a parasite that exploits the host's emotions to become a villain. While there may be gay subtext SOMEWHERE, it definitely wasn't from the character as originally created.

[@1kaz1]

​@@KetsubanSolowe're not talking about the original, we're talking about what it turned into!

[@idiopathictendencies8453]

🤮

[@burningbronze7555]

The kid has three parents and is somewhere between the Messiah or the anti Christ

[@Crossark1]

Pinely committing to the bit of getting a seat right next to the only other person in his row is absolute menace behavior

[@zetsubanned4308]

I love the fact that Carnage's hacking powers are not only canon, but underplayed in the movie. He's actually traveled through phone lines via The Web

[@GamerponGill]

Symbiote powers are goofy as hell, and I love that the movie kept that power. I wish they went further and showed him hunting someone down through the internet, literally.

[@broisyougobbling]

The Web? HER WEB CONNECTS THEM ALL!

[@GuiltlessGear]

SURF THE WEB SURF THE WEB

[@PhoebeTheFairy56]

Technically it wouldn't work as well in the current day though bc most devices have wireless internet now, and the way the symbiote traveled through the internet was actually physically going through the wires

[@concept8192]

@@PhoebeTheFairy56 that could make for a really funny gag. he keeps trying to use his symbiote powers to kill people but they keep using wireless internet so he can't, and then at the end of the movie he finds ONE GUY who still uses dial-up and kills them

[@CrumbisBumbis]

it just feels like Morbius was Jared Leto's last desperate attempt at getting in on the super hero hype but.. he's not that guy... plus he's just a huge fuqin creep

[@JenerikEt]

I know next to nothing about leto. I saw him talking to a woman in one interview and the way he did it convinced me of every allegation

[@ashleybanks-wm4cg]

​@@JenerikEtwhat allegations 😂😂😂 y'all see a str8 man pursuing a woman and all of a sudden he's a creep how do you think ppl have relationships?

[@annjepsen1621]

​@ashleybanks-wm4cg How about searching up the allegations before laughing. He's a creep and has been for many decades.

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

​@@ashleybanks-wm4cg He has a sex cult

[@Jokoko2828]

@@JenerikEt The man is a literal cult leader who thinks far too highly of himself.

[@liampendergast8670]

Venom 2 is a pride month classic. Up there with Brokeback Mountain & Happy Together.

[@MooseMedley]

I cannot believe pinely called them siblings when venom and eddie broke up then venom came out in public 😭😭 I don’t get straight men sometimes

[@Jane-oz7pp]

BBM is gay content for straight people, pick an actual gay movie like Legally Blonde.

[@enotsnavdier6867]

​@@MooseMedley Look, I'm sorry, but us straight guys have fucking terrible gaydar

[@emackenzie]

​@@MooseMedley "Venom went so some kind of rave and learned that people can love him for who he is" pinely please you're so close

[@emackenzie]

​@@enotsnavdier6867 I would forgive if Venom didn't literally put his tongue in Eddie's mouth in the first movie

[@spartanisland9977]

For some reason when you said Eddie and Venom were siblings which is weird because they kissed, my reaction was to defend it by saying “but Luke and Leia kissed” and I don’t know what to do now

[@lutchien]

I have to tell you that I was watching this video on my TV; when I read your comment, I got up, got another device, logged in and found the video just to reply to you: I laughed so hard at this. Thanks much, internet stranger!! 😂😂

[@KetsubanSolo]

Imagine if you read SPLINTER OF THE MINDS EYE and got to read about Luke and Leia mud-wrestling romantically. Yes really

[@ZaF4ran]

Well Eddie and Venom are like canonically into eachother. They’re married and have a kid in a few comics lol

[@hotmesslex18]

calling them a “sibling relationship” when venom admits he’s in love with eddie at the end of the movie……..

[@95rossc]

fellas is it incest to love your brother?

[@Tavi78]

@@95rossc”fellas” this has been well the fuck known for a long ass time. Venom literally had a coming out subplot

[@gracekim1998]

@@Tavi78was that not the sequel 🤣 Venom literally says ‘I’m out of the Eddie closet!’

[@MarsheIIo]

@@95rossc fellas is it familial to stick your tongue down each others throats? is it a sibling thing to get married, call each other love and get freaky? [marvel comics presents (2019) #5 youre welcome]

[@95rossc]

I mean in the movie wasn't that an analogy? idk, I just feel like even if that was the intent, it doesn't need to be, but yeah if they lean in and don't just queerbait it then sure sounds cool@@Tavi78

[@november5437]

glad to see the multiple people in the comments being like “pinely….they’re gay….” about venom and eddie this is very important bc i stopped in my tracks when i heard him say that like …????

[@KetsubanSolo]

How are they gay if one is an alien

[@beanstalks8]

@@KetsubanSolo oh, y'know

[@meias.]

​@@KetsubanSolo well... I wouldn't call it straight either. Of course, those aren't the only two options, but they're the only ones humans know and use

[@normal6483]

@@KetsubanSolo No one ever says this about the aliens with boobs.

[@norr7283]

​@@KetsubanSolothey are both boys

[@calarthur96]

hey, give the morbius writers SOME credit. 22.6666667% rounds up, so they actually have a 23% average, not 22%

[@lirich0]

23 is basically 25 and if you think about it that’s basically one third which is just 33% which rounds to 50% and 50% is an F but 59% is also an F which basically means 60%, and if we’re being honest we should give people the benefit of the doubt and give them 10% leeway, so 70%, which is visually indistinct from 75%. So, to be fair, the morbius writers basically have a 75% average

[@Bananova-slupka]

@@lirich0 valid

[@KamielDV2]

I morbed all over the cinema when I saw the genius that is Jared Leto's Morbman unfold before my eyes

[@lamlelamatsiliza8550]

​​@@lirich0that looks like a type of math a pedo would use for age

[@notakiwi5677]

SIBLING LIKE? They are MARRIED

[@MooseMedley]

Me when pinely endorses sibcest: 😰

[@mammoneymelon]

pinely doesn't know about gay people /j

[@notakiwi5677]

@@mammoneymelon who's gonna tell him 😔💅

[@1kaz1]

Yeah venom has the coming out scene playing into it and all, also in the comics they have a child ajshbab

[@jewels3400]

I genuinely thought that being surprised by these comments would make someone be like, "haha trolled!" But I look it up and - !?!??!?!! They really get pregnant together???

[@MasterEth]

WAIT! I JUST REALIZED? HOW IS THE VENOM MOVIE HALF A DECADE OLD NOW???

[@tinycha0s]

I CANT

[@cas6359]

five years isn’t that long ago tho

[@pblx1321]

@@cas6359 its been 5.5 years, pretty decent amount of time

[@Joe90h]

Welcome to time dialation. Every year will, as a percentage of your life, always be shorter than the last. And your brain is getting a LOT better at filtering out more of the year from your memory as it needs to make space in those biological hard drives...

[@bangitybangbabang]

Just say 5 years, it's not that long

[@god_7594]

Siblings?? They are a couple 😭😭😭

[@wavesorlando554]

for real when he put the picture of the liquid as Carnage's mom i was like NO EDDY'S THE OTHER PARENT

[@njf11-]

not me thinking he was talking about adam and eve

[@SilverRagaire]

@@njf11-Why? Are you obsessed with two people that weren’t brought up?

[@e-tan3911]

@@SilverRagaire Because the original commenter is named "god_7594" and has a picture of the biblical god as his profile picture? Seems like the joke writes itself there.

[@njf11-]

@@SilverRagaire no because it was god that made the comment

[@cas6359]

legitimately the hate that venom got was uncalled for. like is it a masterpiece? no. is it entertaining? yes. is it memorable? more than some other superhero movies that’s for damn sure.

[@Korra228]

Nah that movie is poopie

[@MooseMedley]

Nah that movie is a masterpiece

[@egemenozan5641]

Venom could have been so much more... It's really more that it's disappointing than it is outright terrible.

[@SzatanistaDzezowy]

That movie sucked ass and they somehow managed to make Venom 2 even worse.

[@koteshima6682]

nah, it was just entertaining and nothing more

[@alexrice7474]

"sibling relationship" .... Yeah.... THATS the dynamic...... Sure......

[@rayraymind]

id even argue they act more like a married couple in the second movie than they do in the first 😭😭 doesnt venom literally run off to a gay club?

[@MooseMedley]

THIS AUTOMATICALLY MADE THE PHRASE “GAL PALS” COME INTO MY HEAD 😭😭

[@alexrice7474]

@@rayraymind fr I don't know how Pinely didn't pick up on Venom being a gay love story ESPECIALLY THE SECOND ONE

[@bensadfleck9972]

They are even roommates who spent a holiday together, very brotherly!!

[@pussygangster5976]

Sweet home Alabama

[@spiderfrog1525]

Tom Hardy not only did the eating the lobster.. but I also remember hearing he in fact was the one who decided he wanted to do that. Went on set saw lobster tank and went I want to go into this. The lobster iirc was made out of marshmallow with chocolate syrup blood I think!

[@Noaartetc]

Wow, luxurious! They could've made it out of rice dough or something 😂

[@angles18]

He said 'I HAVE to get in that lobster tank'...

[@kaelkirkby9191]

Fun fact about this scene. Tom Hardy is deathly allergic to the sea creatures in the tank, and he actually ate the lobster because he wanted the scene to feel authentic. That's right, Tom Hardy almost died so he could commit to the bit.

[@norr7283]

i liked that scene as a kid

[@rosefulmadness]

that sounds fun actually

[@sonderfulsable]

i actually enjoyed the venom movies so much 😭 like they're so cheesy and really fun sometimes

[@MooseMedley]

As an lgbt person venom was so popular with us not only because it’s a shitty cheesy -romance- like straight ppl have had for centuries but it’s also an action movie with debatable queer characters and themes. It’s honestly so good and I love the series

[@jewels3400]

Plus the themes of just chomping heads and the drama that comes with that

[@kwowka]

Yeah like Eddie throws his life away for the most rejected members of society, almost dies, gets possessed with an alien and keeps going because he cannot live with himself if he lets the suffering go on? The movies are simultaneously a romcom? They’re the best?

[@norr7283]

me too venom was so fun, i need to rewatch!

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm glad you got something out of it, but it's not a good movie. It's noooot a good movie.

[@louspowels7120]

9:10 uh oh Pinely doesn't know what lobsters are.

[@creshiell]

I can't believe I didn't catch that lmao

[@creshiell]

He said crab and my brain just went "yah that's a crab"

[@h1d34w4y]

and my dumbass was like "Who's gonna tell him thats a shrimp?"

[@kaelkirkby9191]

@@h1d34w4y That's a very large shrimp.

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

Clearly it's an alien turtle. Venom IS a sci-fi.

[@NosebleeddeGroselha]

"I saw someone sitting alone in the theater and decided to sit next to them" I had to double check if this wasn't an Evil Pinely video

[@Mario_Angel_Medina]

8:45 "In my planet I'm a loser, kind of like you" is a good line, but I wish the villain of the first movie had confirmed that the other symbiontes in fact think Venom is a loser, even if it was in just a quick line. Something like the bad guy saying "of course you befriended a human, Venom. Its so typical of pathetic losers like you!" at the beginning of the final fight

[@GooFly-v3j]

The line is not only bad, your fix on it is even woirse!\ it DESTROYS the entirew character lol. Venom isn't supposed to be the freekin Booster Gold of the spiderverse. Hes NOT a loser on his planet, hes not a loser anywhere. that's the point. but modern cinema sympathizes with villains bc brainrot is more importnat, so we have fancam edits and love letter movies to serial killers such as Dhamer, glorified criminal murder plot revengres ( joker ) and ppl literally empathizing with the sepetmeber 11th attacks lol. this is what thigns have become. we cant just have a villain, hes gotta have HJEART! OMG hes a LOSERRR :*( just like Thanos. cant make him ultra evil, lets make him a big bag of weiners too.

[@norr7283]

​@@GooFly-v3jno, hes a loser. he literally said so himself

[@sklynn]

​@user-xz6qc5ej2r he's the protagonist of this film, of course they'll sand him down a bit. Riot is the villian for this movie...

[@oserty]

i agree that they could’ve add more but riot did say to venom something along the lines of "get your ass in the ship right now" and got shocked and mad when venom refused, so this at least implies that venom is someone who’s supposed to be easy to push around. although riot seems to be the leader of their lil team of alien goo so maybe his anger confirms only the fact that venom is his subordinate. and being a subordinate is not necessary a loser thing to do… or maybe it is, in the alien goo society? anyways yeah i wish riot confirmed venom’s loser-ness more explicitly. but oh well now riot’s dead so we’ll never know!

[@WhatAmIDoingHere12]

As someone who has never seen Venom, I never understood the whole Venom x Eddie thing. I must admit, I get it now. That’s gay asf.

[@MooseMedley]

Please watch it it’s truly more beautiful and amazing than pinely yaps about

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

Venom is a certified gay classic

[@norr7283]

its so gay you have to watch it for yourself

[@liamfaoisidhe.]

They're also gay in the comics

[@rosefulmadness]

it's literally canon in the comics, they have kids together. ..

[@theshampug]

one thing that baffles me about that "we're the same" line from cletus to eddie/venom in the movie is like. in the comics, he's referencing the fact they're both this fucked up largely from having very abusive fathers that kind of deeply affected their ability to treat people normal. it's literally a whole cycle of abuse/"we both have daddy issues/a really hard upbringing" thing. also originaly the whole drake labs incident involved capturing eddie/venom and making more symbiotes, riot being one of them, but their actual leader was this awesome lady symbiote called Scream that has pizza colors. she was a whole girlboss gaslight gatekeep and they didnt even give her a chance... (i think you see a flash of a yellow symbiote eating a rabbit in the lab, iirc, that's probably supposed to be her)

[@GooFly-v3j]

consider you have to take decades of comic lore ( of which a ton is largely contestable) and truncate it into a 90 minute + flick. imagine the fact you have to dumb things down... considerably. Like the red carnage line - is directly from the old 90's marketing for " MAXIMUM CARNAGE ": on the RaDiCaL red Cartrdige ! Woha!

[@stupidone248]

love how u said scream has "pizza colors" thats so funny

[@ryanpooley]

I watched morbius but it was so bad I immediately forgot what happened so when you said the 2 main characters started making out I really thought I just missed that or forgot 💀 Also everyone convincing them to release it in theaters a second time is peak comedy

[@Fandomsaremylifee]

Literally the only thing that kept me from walking out of the theater was the sexual tension between the main two vampires in Morbiu

[@Xezian]

"they have a sibling energy" is really giving me the vibe of historians going "oh my god they were roommates"

[@Abcdefg-tf7cu]

Name one historian who has ever actually said that. If you were half as smart as you think you are, you would know that most historians love talking about the lurid sex lices of historical figures.

[@Averyspacesmileyface]

​@@Abcdefg-tf7cuThe thing is, most history books mention either A. Nothing about the relationships B. being "besties" Like, you are writing a biography about this person, why aren't you mentioning it? Anyway, the being "besties" part is what started the whole roommates thing lol

[@Abcdefg-tf7cu]

@@Averyspacesmileyface You're right. Most history textbooks don't talk about the sex lives of most historical figures. And no history textbook has the word "bestie" in it. Like I said, you don't actually know more about these historical figures than the historians who study them for a living. Here in reality, there are basically zero historians who have any issue with saying that a historical figure was gay. They just say that historical figures were platic friends because, get this, some people actually are just "besties" with other people. Normal people can be friends with others without needing to get sex or other physical pleasure from them.

[@Abcdefg-tf7cu]

@@Averyspacesmileyface "Like, why are you writing a biography about this person, why aren't you mentioning it?" Because most of these historical figures you are talking about genuinely were just plotinic friends with their "besties." Like I keep repeating to you, historians have ZERO issue with saying that a historical figure had a gay relationship IF THEY ACTUALLY HAD THE RELATIONSHIP. I can't even begin to understand what must be wrong with your perverted, sick mind if you think "hardcore anal BDSM" every time you see the word "friend."

[@Abcdefg-tf7cu]

@@Averyspacesmileyface You are the type of person who thinks history textbooks should get rid of the parts about slavery to make more room for homoerotic speculation about Hitler and Mussolini.

[@migoreng7789]

jared leto is just too swagless to pull off morbius

[@harrisonwhaley7872]

I have argued for years that Venom was better than anyone gave it credit for. It’s obviously got issues but Eddy and Venom dialogue has me laughing every time I watch the movie because they are just so funny! I know comedy is not objective but it really hits my sense of humor perfectly. The same goes for the second movie too, I just love these big lovable doofus’s

[@luvhair255]

I enjoyed it a lot, it's rewatchable.

[@pasharighton]

it's a romcom! with monsters! it's a gay monsterfcker romcom, of course it's good, and everyone who disagrees just doesn't get it (or probably not into monsterfcking). there are people out there who think the shape of water is mid, although it's one of the best monsterfcking romance fairytales ever made

[@luvhair255]

@@pasharighton An interesting way to put it. I haven't seen Let there Be Carnage but you putting it that way makes it sound more interesting lol. Still need to watch Shape of Water, crazy I haven't yet given my interests, but I was pretty sure it got widespread acclaim?

[@pasharighton]

@@luvhair255 I've seen people saying it didn't deserve best picture. it's a bit basic in its message, and characters are either really good kind people or horrible assholes, but so is the case with fury road and that movie is a masterpiece too

[@angelsunemtoledocabllero5801]

Is a generic shit of a movie that only some gay people like for some reason. There are many cool gay movies out there that were even made against government persecution and they just prefer to Stan this souless cash grab.

[@freddie_pope]

One small note about the Morbius returning to theaters thing: Sony doesn't pay (much) for rereleases, it's the theaters that rent the movie showing rights / files so it would be the theaters that would lose money when they had the second run. How the theaters pay changes, sometimes it's just a cut of the ticket sales and sometimes there's also a flat fee / "guaranteed ticket sale" involved but it's likely that Sony successfully made money on that second run. The only thing that Sony would likely have to pay for is creating new keys (called KDMs, Key Delivery Messages) for the video file (called DCPs, Digital Cinema Packages) so that it can be played again, which they likely would be covered immediately from any flat fee. The movie still lost Sony loads of money but the rerelease thing wasn't some huge mistake by them.

[@thisurldoesnotexist]

Truly the only joy in Morbius is that lil dance Matt Smith does Every time I think about how bad Morbius was I think "but what about that lil dance." Madame Web was better than Morbius but not good. Fun, though. Just not good

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

Someone needs to add him to the edit of people dancing on the Joker stairs.

[@kmbs1827]

venom and eddie... sibling like... they're an old marriage

[@eifenhc]

I love the venom films, my little monsterlover heart goes wild

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Lady Venom does things for my queer monsterlover soul I can't explain with words.

[@MooseMedley]

They’re ideal relationship fr

[@cidevant002]

Symbrock my beloved.

[@timenotime]

venom is a gay icon and i am obsessed with his romance with eddie

[@kwowka]

I love watching the movies through the lens of venom being so utterly in love with Eddie and Eddie just not at. All. Like he’s there just nervously smiling at the alien with multiverses of hive mind knowledge who saw him and went ‘that’s my husband’

[@romuloprieto2529]

Bruh

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

I thought Pinely's "Statler and Waldorf" comparison was pretty apt.

[@nanyabish]

There’s a movie critic here in Brazil, Isabella Boscov, and she reviewed Matt Smith’s participation in Morbius perfectly: “is a gambling debt. Only with someone threatening to break your legs you accept to join a project like this.”

[@BarsiBoy]

I just madame webbed😢

[@MooseMedley]

Me when I web on my madame: 😢 Me when my madame webs on me: 🤤

[@pebbl_eeater]

I will forever be a venom defender. Its objectively not a great movie and im so incredibly obsessed with it. you summarized very well why its so appealing

[@fansee1368]

Ngl, they could've made so much cash if this was actually just the Venomverse I'd watch each second of these stupid fucking movies as long as I get Venom

[@pebbl_eeater]

@@fansee1368 absolutely, my only fear would be them running the character into the ground and ruining what people liked about them

[@MagmaLair13]

I remember Tom Hardy describing a scene from Venom which was his "favourite scene" and what he described turned out to be completely cut out of the film. It was the moment where Eddie apologises on the top of a building to Venom, and Venom gives us a glimps into what it is actually like to be a foreign being whose purpose is to consume and control, only to feel empathy after connecting to Brock's mind or some shit. So much of the film just seemed chopped up in post.

[@hazey_dazey]

I need the Hardy cut

[@gur3478]

I NEED TO SEE THIS OMG

[@Jottagelado]

I like bad movies. I Really really like bad movies. I used to make a discord call with my friends every Saturday to watch a bad movie. The room, birdemic, samurai cop, chun li, alone in the dark, dead or alive etc. and we always laugh a lot. Terrible movies can be a lot of fun and we always endure it happily. That being said: we turned off Morbius before the half if the movie due to boredom, and went to watch the entirety of the resident evil movies. I can enjoy great movies and the most terrible ones. Morbius is just a void with no merit, a thing you forget 10 seconds after you seen it. I can’t remember a single scene, only how numb it made me feel

[@sydliminal]

the resident evil movies are an excellent bad movie choice. they're awful but somehow manage to be interestingly bad/weird and have fun action movie stuff, and some of the visuals are genuinely pretty cool. the first one and apocalypse are definitely the most memorable for me. shout-out to the zombie crows in apocalypse

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

You should give Velocirpastor a watch if you like bad movies. It was bad on purpose but it kinda worked for a movie with such a goofy premise.

[@sydliminal]

@@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816 oh that's going on my letterboxd watchlist

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

@@sydliminal **VFX CAR ON FIRE**

[@milesmohrien8964]

finally a sane youtuber covering the madame web and morbius sonyverse fiasco

[@MooseMedley]

I wouldn’t call him sane

[@flzrian3623]

@@MooseMedleyat least he is the funny type of insane and not the "the woke mind virus has ruined my superhero movies" type of insane

[@MooseMedley]

@@flzrian3623 oh so you’re spitting facts I see

[@milesmohrien8964]

@@MooseMedley yeah thats what i meant, bad wording. genuine youtuber

[@KetsubanSolo]

​@@flzrian3623oh those types drive me nuts. They keep rattling on about "THE MESSAGE" when it's more like "clueless execs see that there are less women going to their male-focused movies, so they try so hard to pander to women that it backfires and alienates the original audience while STILL not attracting the new audience they want."

[@louspowels7120]

the Venom movies are 2 of my favorite 'super hero' movies.

[@MooseMedley]

Yeah pinely is kinda weird for not calling it a 10/10. No marvel movie at all in my mind can live up to it. I literally despise superpower-action-movie-craps but venom is actually a masterpiece with a lot of subtext that is so interesting to look into

[@Aeunax123]

Agreed, they’re the best

[@Idkwgo1]

​@@MooseMedleyIs this like, a joke comment?

[@MooseMedley]

@@Idkwgo1 unfortunately it is not

[@Unfortunately_Mickey]

I feel Evil Pinely vibes from this

[@hazey_dazey]

He's Anti-hero Pinely

[@GwendolynnBY]

what's wild about the morbius parts of this video, from someone who's never seen the film, is that i just heard matt smith say one line, and it had more life and energy to it than any of jared leto's line deliveries so far.

[@gracelee5536]

Hearing it was of fresh air 😭

[@vibrantgray]

Could Morbius save Sony’s Spidey Franchise? Who’s to say, release it in theaters again just to make sure

[@MyNameIsBrydie]

Imagine coming onto the INTERNET and being SO WRONG about the relationship between MARRIED COUPLE VENOM AND EDDIE BROCK peak engagement strat tbh

[@SandwitchZebra]

Carnage being Venom’s son is even funnier in the source material. Carnage constantly refers to Venom as “daddy” and the Venom Symbiote specifically hates it because it birthed it. The entirety of their dynamic can be boiled down to Venom not wanting to pay child support. And then Carnage has his own symbiote child and he and Venom set aside their differences for a while because they hate it even more. That’s not even going into Venom’s seven other kids, his clone, Carnage’s two other kids, and the mindless clone of him made when Eddie had cancer. Oh, and it turns out Symbiotes leave behind pieces of themselves whenever they leave people, which happened to Eddie’s girlfriend, and her Venom bits were reincarnated into her son, meaning Eddie’s biological human son is also Venom’s. I love comics.

[@mrgrumpy888]

41:10 Sony fucked up even with their "early 00s" product placement. There's a guy in the subway playing with his PlayStation Portable but that thing came out a year later in 2004.

[@KetsubanSolo]

Maybe Madame Web used her split people powers to steal one from Sony headquarters in the future and bring it back to the present (I still have no idea what she's able to do)

[@calmc9655]

U can just call it a PSP xp

[@elephant4053]

​@@calmc9655 me when I see a cat

[@mordo1191]

I remember hearing someone theorize that the reason the two writers from morbius got hired was because they're easy for studios to work with and will comply for any changes that the studios demand. I don't know if thats true but it would make a lot of sense as to why the movies are... of doubious quality

[@thardump859]

It's because they are not human. They are mindless machines. They are f**king robots man.

[@hard.g0re]

Siblings is crazy 😭😭 "historically they were friends" type beat 💀

[@angelsunemtoledocabllero5801]

"This two characters looked at each other once so now they are gay because I have to make everything gay" type beat.

[@AcappellaTidbits]

​@@angelsunemtoledocabllero5801 the two are romantic in quite a few iterations and have a kid together but ok

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

​@@angelsunemtoledocabllero5801 They literally kissed.

[@Spookybluelights]

As a fan, I would like to point out that the 2017 Power Rangers movie went through quite a few writers and those guys only really have credits on that script because of union rules. From what I know John Gatins' version of the script reflects most of what appears in the final cut of the movie. Also that movie is super underrated and people should watch it.

[@chibi013]

describing the symbiote and Eddie as "siblings" PLEASE

[@StateBlaze1989]

What got me about Madam Web is that they specifically set it in 2003, yet put references in that weren't even from 2003. Like one of the showrunners said they set it in that year as an excuse to use the song Toxic, yet that song came out in 2004. Also, the guy in the subway they have playing a psp? Something they thought so good they put it in the trailer? That console wasn't on store shelves until 2005.

[@mystic-malevolence]

Love the idea that Sony got the release date of their own products wrong. But, to be fair, the actual dates don't matter. It just needs to be a year that the general audience will believe if they are not familiar with the specific date.

[@BrunoMarafigo-b4k]

Also, we can hear toxic in 2024 there is no law against it

[@brianadoesart5195]

Love Venom 2 just straight up having Eddie and Venom break up, lmao. Venom 2 didn't even try to pretend it wasn't doing the romantic comedy. It just went "Yup Venom is literally doing the stereotypical girlfriend thing and throwing Eddie's stuff out the window"

[@Blast2224]

What BAFFLES me, is that we have "Spider-Man Adjacent" stories involving Ben Reilly/Scarlet Spider, Kane/Scarlet Spider, and Jackal. SONY could have made a "SCARLET SPIDER" movie between 2016 and and 2017 to bank off Tom's emerging popularity. Find a Ben Reilly actor to be a "clone" of Tom (discount Tom Holland), and a SLIGHTLY older and hairer version to be Kane. Kane starts as the first imperfect clone who wants to kill Ben for getting the life and appearance he never had, enraged that people would accept Ben as a hero while Kane would always be seen as an ugly errand boy. At the end of Scarlet Spider, Kane and Ben work together to kill Jackal (and his third clone enforcer Spidercide), stopping any further clones from being made off Peter's DNA. At the end of the 2017/2018 movie, it would have been revealed in post credits a San Francisco Eddie Brock reading about "Spider-Men" in NYC, and saying he's happy he's far away. December 2017: Scarlet Spider after Homecoming. PG13 with body horror elements. James Wan. October 2018: Venom happens, with Riot again being the main villain. No references to Spider-Man or Spider-Men. Rated R. Christmas 2018: Into the Spider-Verse Summer 2019: Endgame and Far From Home happens. October 2019: Scarlet Spider: Hunted comes out with Kraven as the lead villain, wanting to prevent the emergence of Spider-Men despite the absene of Peter Parker. Kraven successfully kills Ben Reilly, causing Kane to adopt the sleeker Scarlet Spider outfit and abandon Ben's previous two costumes. Kraven is imprisoned. October 2021: Venom: Maximum Carnage comes out as a true superhero-horror movie. Rated R. Carnage isn't killed. Christmas 2021: No Way Home happens. June 2022: Scarlet Spider: Minimum Carnage sees the return of Carnage in Texas, forcing Venom to team up with Kane. During this, Julia Carpenter makes a brief appearance showing emerging powers. Carnage isn't destroyed, but Cletus is rendered lobodomized. September/October 2022: ARAÑA is released and introduced Ana Corazon as lead, being assisted by Scarlet Spider (Kane). Ana has her exoskeleton ripped out at the end of the movie, by Kraven then attemps to finally kill Kane, before Ana adapts with her new look and grappling hook whips. Summer 2023: Across the Spider-Verse October 2023: A BETTER AND LESS RUSHED MORBIUS comes out. Scream is the lead symbiote villain, having been created from her research in Carnage's efforts and Morbius's bloodwork. Venom helps him kill her, though in the process, creates TOXIN. June 2024: MADAME WEB ties all these characters together: Scarlet-Spider (Kane), a now matured Spider-Girl (Julia Carpenter), and Arana are all discovered by Cassie Web following her blinding and paralysis. A "resurrected" Ben Reilly finds her and claims Venom is trying to kill him (a different version, more faithful to the comics). In addition, the 3rd and final "Spider-Girl" emerges in Mattie Franklin. As Madame Web tries to guide Mattie into her powers, the other 3 try to speed her up to defeat this more monstrous and unhinged version of Venom. It's revealed that the new Ben is actually Spidercide, who survived the first move, and wants to kill Mattie; eventually cleaning up all the "Non Peter" Spiders until he's the only true one left. The two Venoms fuse into one combined form, finally saying goodbye to Tom's version of Eddie Brock. When the "new" Venom changes into human form, it's a younger but more agressive Eddie Brock. All 3 Spider-Girls have emerged. Scarlet-Spider and Venom are the "hero and anti-hero" of Sony's Universe, and Madame Web being the final psychic link to them all. 10 films. And it could have been amazing by now. It could even be better than the MCU's offerings as the more stylized and sleeker shinier foil to Marvels kid-friendly muted tones.

[@lolaaakaypeanutbrittle9213]

I love your thinking. Everything about this is yes for me.

[@gur3478]

Id totally watch this

[@dustykneez]

I'm gonna watch this and Eddy Burback's Morbius movie on a loop for the next twenty hours. Absolute masterpieces of commentary.

[@StinkyF]

I love eddy bearback!

[@tjrune3432]

Carnage would have been so much better if they kept the wig. They really needed to roll with that. Woody could have pulled it off for sure.

[@cobalt.studios]

So happy to hear someone talk about the coffee guy in the background of that one scene in Morbius😂 my favorite character

[@SpoopySquid]

Cheerful reminder that comic Eddie and Venom canonically get it on and have a kid together

[@Hybrids_Cupcakes]

I love that :))

[@hawkingbird]

have you READ the comics

[@ZQPPS]

They have a child together yes but they never had sex? I don’t mind having homo ships but don’t try to say it’s canon and spread misinformation?

[@jakelyon2262]

I think the first Venom movie is looked back on more fondly in hindsight because of the abysmal offerings that came after it. At the time, it was criticised against the juggernaut Marvel movies that came before it. Now it is judged by the colossal failures that have come after it. I don't think it was ever a bad movie, but from people who view it from either side, the most consistent complaint is that it was squandered potential.

[@outhereinsquamish]

Jared felt a kinship with those creatures tho.

[@MooseMedley]

Erm 🤓🤓☝️☝️ I feel ….. a kinship with deez critters 🫶💞💞🤓🤓🤓

[@anapereirabastos1271]

pinely is my favorite guy to listen while im eating breakfast... such wise words (its 9PM where i am btw)

[@borednerd5767]

me too (its 11 pm)

[@prizmoturtle2651]

​@@borednerd5767 me three (it's 10pm)

[@gur3478]

Same. (Middle of the night lmao)

[@icetide9411]

I think what makes the Venom movies really work is that despite them looking dark and grungy like all of them, and parts of the plot aligning to that, Eddie and Venom are so NOT dark and grungy. They're goofy, brutal and deadly but still really goofy. I mean they wrote Venom an entire subplot based on a coming out story and presented them like some gay couple, it's hilarious. When it comes to other antiheroes they normally go all-in on one side (Morbius all grunge, Deadpool all goof), but Venom is a goof in the middle of grunge, which creates fun watch

[@hrodvithit]

Imagine how annoying it would be if your arch nemesis could see into the future and would just keep hunting you down to hit you with a car. You literally wouldnt be able to escape and they would be able to find you anywhere and set up to be able to hit you with a car. This is what truly makes Madame Webb so terrifying.

[@majestikmarii7291]

speaking of continuing to hire people they shouldn't, jared leto has been cast in the new Tron reboot this man needs to be blacklisted from hollywood honestly

[@sunflowerboinagachika]

I was expecting this to be some sort of monotone put-together video essay, so the chaotic casual vibe was a pleasant treat. Subscribed.

[@gatsbysgarage8389]

Reminds me of what my dad said as we walked out of the theater after seeing Thor love and thunder - “it was terrible… I loved it!”

[@FortheLoveofMonsters]

they are not siblings…. they are gay, they are in love. sorry I don’t make the rules 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@MooseMedley]

Based 🤩🤩

[@cynister7384]

@@MooseMedley Venom kisses Eddie in the first movie and at the end of it they say "I love you" to each other. In the second movie when they "break up", Venom goes to a gay rave and realizes that people can accept him for who he is. They have a child in the comics.

[@KetsubanSolo]

​@@cynister7384I mean I wouldn't call that a child that a couple in love would want... if anything it's more like the result of an, uhhh, "unwanted cuddling"

[@MooseMedley]

@@cynister7384 no fuck look at my other comments on this vid it autocorrected from based whyyy 😭😭

[@cynister7384]

@@MooseMedley Lmaoo 😭😭

[@israellai]

20:45 and then Marvel immediately responded with "nope" and sent Eddie straight back where he came from

[@Gluglugfishe]

I think the main problem with superhero movies in the big cinema universes now is that they take themselves a bit too seriously, already the costumes (which people have made memes of for a while now) just feel like an "edgy" version of a superhero costume. It's like they're embarassed of admitting that that's quite literally what they are: superhero movies??? When I was younger I'd be really into those movies for like 2-3 years but then became so bored of it all being so soulless and just overpolished. Then, years later I got into Tokusatsu and my love for superhero shows/movies came back again because it's so full of love and soul and character and I just love practical effects and goofy bad CGI and stories that are so intense and dramatic and the next moment someone pulls out a bop-it sword (that is a marketable toy)... It's just so much fun and oddly enough has made me more sad at times than any dramatic scene in a Marvel movie (for example) ever could, just because it FEELS so much more like a proper story and interesting characters

[@mttylerdurden9]

superhero movies take themselves to seriously? have you seen most of the superhero films that have come out? Shazam 1 and 2,The Suicide Squad, Aquaman 1 and 2,blue beetle, WW 1984, most of the MCU movies for the past 7 haven't been "edgy" or taken themselves seriously. the closest we've gotten to anything "edgy" was the batman, Joker, Echo,The boys, Invincible, and ZS justice League. people have criticized the MCU for no longer taking risks or any variety in their films.

[@AwsomenessRain]

modern superhero movies are deathly afraid of committing to the bit, and are seemingly embarrassed to be comic book adaptations in the first place, so they feel the need to act like they’re above it by adding quips every other line.

[@angelsunemtoledocabllero5801]

Yes, when in Spiderman No way home the Green Goblin started to say his memes that's what I thought that this movie is too serious.

[@PhoebeTheFairy56]

​@@mttylerdurden9 too seriously as in not being willing to just be weird.

[@nikkicarreon]

You forgot to mention the png of Beyoncé that’s poorly pasted onto a wall 😭 god this movie is great

[@ArturGlass.C]

Have they considered just hiring a renown comic book writer to create a fully new original iconic hero character and put them in the same settings and they're now the equivalent of spider man and defeats the same villains. Except it's not spiderman and they have their own completely new story, flaw, power, backstory and personality. They first try releasing a couple comic books, and eventually movies. I mean they clearly have money to throw at stuff. Like there's a lot of spidermen in the spiderverse some more recent than others. It feels like people don't mind showing up for different new spidermen as long as they've got something to bring to the table. Why not a new not-spiderman but still in this universe ? I mean obviously that implies doing something original. But legally I think they are allowed to right ? As long as the guy isn't a spiderman.

[@Nekoszowa]

Because Spiderman is a very popular character, I'm also convinced they are riding the nostalgia train just like Disney making shitty remakes of their old movies while having the majority of their new productions suck badly. But unfortunately the original fans of those movies start to lose interest because of that and so in return superhero movies as a whole are flopping more and more

[@Dave102693]

That's too smart for Sony.

[@KetsubanSolo]

Comic book writing != film writing.

[@ArturGlass.C]

@@KetsubanSolo I mean yeah but the movie writers they hire aren't qualified either. At least the comic book writer should logically know how to write and design a compelling character then they can build on from that.

[@mttylerdurden9]

@@ArturGlass.C the mainstream doesn't care about new superheroes with original identities. if they did Static Shock, Radiant Black, Sideways, and other heroes would be cultural icons instead of cult classics. people would rather stick with a property they're sick of than try something new.

[@_JoJo_Enjoyer]

my dad loves Tom Hardy, and he really liked the Venom movie, but in particular, he liked the "Jump?....Pussy" line so much, that everytime he sugests somethign bald, or someone sugests something bald, he quotes it. Dad: So, son, you wanna go on a rollercoaster? JUMP? Me: I don't really want to, I'm just not a fan- Dad: PUSSY

[@HaveanOreshnik]

Madame Web was just the 2002 Catwoman of this decade

[@oneinathousand2156]

And Elektra.

[@fansee1368]

Morbius was pretty close to being Daredevil but there wasn't enough Evanescence montages

[@orionthomas967]

@@fansee1368Morbius would’ve been vastly improved had there been Evanescence montages tbh

[@themusicaljunkie37]

I kept asking the question again and again as I was watching Madame Web... "Why are you actively trying to ignore mentioning spiderman?"

[@annabelcunningham2848]

I think it was implied that Ben was his uncle but why didn't they just say the babies name was Peter??? Is it a deal they made with Disney?

[@megalomari]

I LOVE VENOM it was so silly and I had a great time !! ..........Also Pinely I love you man but siblings????? those two are married for real

[@iamthemurray16]

I feel like its just because they needed to make a movie to keep the rights. Like what WB does when they shelve fully finished movies and tax write it off. Its not about entertainment anymore, corporations are just out to squeeze every penny they can. Even when it doesn't make sense

[@luvhair255]

They got a decently competent crew to do this movie. The cinematography and editing is baffling given who they have. I think you are on to something about tax write-offs though. I'm not sure how much is 'we're tanking this for more tax write-offs' or complete meddling in the entire process by one or two of the producers.

[@KetsubanSolo]

Yeah I totally agree. They know they can make millions off MCU Spider-Man by doing absolutely nothing, so as long as they shart out... SOMETHING, they keep getting free money from Disney. Or at least they did, dunno how much more stinkbombs the MCU can release.

[@prince_nox]

"they have an almost sibling relationship" uhh...should we tell him or?? 😂

[@antares5000]

The narration for the madam web section is GOLD I'm crying laughing. Like- the depressing ass situation, the anger at the writers, the demostrative reenactment of the scenes, the chaos explaining the future visions... majestic.

[@Leo_Dragontamer]

I watched madam web with my friends for my birthday We talked and made fun of the movie the entire time, it was great. At the very beginning I was like “why is madam web pregnant?” and so for the rest of the movie we kept saying “is that madam web?” Every time a new character was introduced

[@GuiltlessGear]

The Video: Tne morbius-ification of cinema The comment section: Symbrock discourse

[@inrodu_1027]

your venom performance was so beautiful im so emotional

[@EddieNoon]

Gotta love these amazing tutorials from Pinely!

[@purpleberry3564]

Also Venom is an amazing love story!!

[@diegomnds]

My fav part is how Madame Web kill the ambulance guy by talking to him

[@KetsubanSolo]

Also she probably killed a handful of civilians by ramming into not-Spiderman with various vehicles

[@the.lizardking]

Fun fact riz ahmed (the actor who plays drake) is indeed also a rapper/ musician in real life and had my favorite album of 2020 that had an accompanying short film that won an oscar so imo hes way better than Canadian Drake

[@birtarb07]

If the movement of the camera is moving down, it's a tilt, not a pan 🫣

[@aj7058]

nerd

[@birtarb07]

@@aj7058 I work as a camera operator and DP so I should know 🫠

[@birtarb07]

@@aj7058 It's literally my job to know as a working director of photography and camera operator

[@meias.]

​@@birtarb07smh how dare you know the basics of your job, you nerd

[@ImaginaryAlchemist]

You missed the part of Morbius where he says it's Morbin' Time and Morbs all over the bad guys. Best part of the film. 10/10 would Morb again

[@_MrTV]

9:13 Sir! That's a lobster 🤣😂

[@ShopkeeperGreg]

I coughed up my tortellini when the ad came up, i was not expecting this incredible segway. Thank you Pinely.

[@what1fun1v3rs3]

HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A PICKLE WITH NORD VPN

[@DrWhomst]

Hearing someone who has clearly never seen hentai describe Venom is genuinely so funny 😭

[@marthastewwart]

Tom Hardy ate marshmallows, not live lobsters in that scene, btw. He doesn't eat any meat so that's why.

[@animula6908]

Some stranger buying the seat next to mine in an empty theater is my nightmare. I’m sorry this aspect of the horror wasn’t explored further in this piece.

[@glynsareia]

they had the biggest falling out scene which was literally a break-up, in the old Venom comics; Venom literally got depressed cause Eddie didn't want to fuse with him anymore so they split up and Venom just went to literally scream on a cliff until Eddie eventually came back, they made up and the dialogue was actually pretty...romantically heartwarming? 10/10 relatable, love them

[@KetsubanSolo]

This video has now changed titles more than Venom has changed hosts in the comics

[@trustfulplace3894]

LMAOO at 21:25 when you said that there was “no joy in morbius” i was like WRONG there is 1 joy: matt smith dancing scene. then you corrected yourself about the 1 joy being the scene. i laughed out loud

[@Che1Angelius]

I saw venom during jury duty, the best way to spent my time

[@breadpilled2587]

The writing in this video is CRISP, love it.

[@Juliaardbei]

I took a 2 hour break from your video to go watch Madame Web after seeing your reenactment of the scene of the mom in the jungle. It is indeed a HORRENDOUS edit. The zooms, the villains constant monologuing with horrible audio, the extremely chaotic fireworks scene The concept was quite interesting. The execution? Fascinating. I enjoyed this SO MUCH more than morbius........ it was so silly. Thanks for the video, it was great fun!

[@SemicolonExpected]

I haven't finished the video yet, but I would like to mention as someone who watched Morbius not knowing it was Spiderman related, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't good---pacing was a little bit weird, but it was watchable. I liked watching evil Matt Smith dance. I liked when they said the the iconic line "its time to m-m-m-morb". I feel like a lot of these films become a lot better (read: watchable) when you forget theyre spiderman characters and watch them as their own thing. Note I havent watched Madame Web yet and I'm not sure how they can make it not feel Spidey related since theres a dude that looks like bizzaro-spiderman but

[@kitsterangel]

Yeah I watched Morbius on a plane knowing nothing about it and I thought it was fine. Not good or anything, but it was fine. Kinda giving that same dreariness that any of the Batman/Gotham-based movies and shows had, so I didn't mind that either. I only learned later that most people seem to hate it, but I think I'm just not a picky movie watcher. So long as it's not mind-numbingly boring or pretentious, it's fine. So maybe my opinion is also not the best 😅

[@brianadoesart5195]

To be fair, Venom 2 also came out in 2021 and was one of the first big movies to go back to theaters after the first waves of the COVID pandemic - it probably still would have made less than the first one because that first film was such an unexpected hit,, but I do think that probably factors into the lower profits.