THE WORST MOVIE WE'VE EVER REVIEWED! | The Book Was Better: New Moon Review Part 3

[@cas2762]

The Twilight series frustrates me SO MUCH cause the side characters have such interesting potential! A vampire doctor who tries to get over his urges to save people could’ve made a great character. A psychic girl in a mental asylum could’ve made a great character. A high society lady turning into a vampire and going after her rapists could’ve made an amazing character. In the hands of an actually competent writer, the Volturi could’ve been a wonderful idea. Give me intricate vampire politics!!! Give me interesting characters!!! Instead all we got is bland Bella and bland Edward and they should’ve just been CUT OUT OF THE GODDAMN STORY.

[@cartooncritique6625]

Well, fortunately, the video game "Vampyr" would come along later to make far better use out of the idea regarding a vampire doctor. :)

[@soulg5846]

I know this is a month old, but maybe Vampire : The Masquerade could interest you. It's a D&D, but many books and even a videogame exist about it (although unfortunately the game was rushed out too early by Activision and therefore needs patches from the fans to even work, it has a huge following because everything that is in the game is great). It has tons of worldbuilding and the main point is all vampire politics, with its own historic events and everything. Plus you can probably find a few Discords even nowadays that still play the actual D&D, so you can make your own story and characters :)

[@OutrightRegent4]

@@cartooncritique6625 it would be, if vampyr's gameplay wasnt a pile of shit

[@Redhactv]

@@OutrightRegent4 i feel like Vampyr was a story driven game. The game play really wasn't the focal point to me. Was still interesting to play through personally though! If the story was shit, I woulda been mad.

[@jamestomato1744]

Intricate vampire politics...what like Castlevania the anime?

[@misery8264]

Fun fact: I was unlucky enough to be a teenage girl during the twilight time, so I happen to know that Edwards sixpack was sprayed on his body. The wolf guy had to work out for months and they even debated that he's not big enough for the role. But the vampire gets his muscles sprayed on. Great.

[@baneoftechnology]

not to mention, the poor guy was still underaged when filming began! A kid was expected to reach body-builder status, while the older actor (with an adult musculature) got the make-up treatment.

[@jacim9446]

And look at the other werewolves they aren't nearly as muscular and still way bigger in their animal form?

[@Diana-hf4qv]

I mean?? Edward had one shirtless scene that was full frontal meaning no body double potential. Jacob was playing a werewolf character meant to be large and muscular and constantly shirtless.

[@hkazu63]

Its like life imitates trash. Jacob was relegated to piece of shit and Edward to white knight. Taylor was expected to make himself perfect for the role and Robert gets a bit of paint.

[@metademetra]

And I hear now he is overweight. Clearly this fucked up his self-image. Meanwhile, Robert Patterson is allowed to just pretend he wasn't apart of all this.

[@SelkieGirl]

If Belle were a demon, just about everything about her would make sense. Her unnatural charisma, her paleness, and her immunity to vampiric abilities due to some versions of vampires being created by demons

[@doesntmatter2467]

She even brings conflict and calamity.

[@echobean5222]

And the whole “extra special blood” thing

[@sugarm1860]

Also the fact that she has psychic abilities before turning into a vampire, which can also be seen as her turning into a different demon

[@lunabearsong2043]

The beautiful potential-lost!

[@LinnBlack23]

I want to read this book so bad!!!

[@damiendarko9411]

"This is the worst book I've ever read!" Hi, coming to you from the future to remind everybody that he ends up reviewing an Onision novel, so this statement is no longer true.

[@wolftitanreading5308]

Hi even farther in the future, this isn't even the worst part, it gets much worst, with the third onision novel and Empress teressa

[@wolftitanreading5308]

Also Maybe world war 3

[@tylerwaynes2107]

@@wolftitanreading5308 not yet Germany hasn't done anything to start WW3

[@XobaschProductions]

And Empress Theresa

[@MASHKingmaker]

im from the past and youre saying the “I’m a banana” guy makes a book

[@starrynightfall00]

You're so right about Bella being supremely selfish for what she did to Jacob. This movie is why I can't stand love triangles anymore

[@magnuscritikaleak5045]

But twillight new moon was pretty popular in East Asia.

[@kevinvu5432]

Read domestic girlfriend manga

[@ilopominecrafter]

The Pondering Critic my only guess on why it was popular was 1. The “demographic” for the book was literally the only demographic living there. 2. It was just the demographic blindly watching the movie a bunch of times to make it look good (as well as the one kind of hater who foolishly wastes money to see what they know they will hate and thus contributing to its financial success) or 3. They are so sheltered from movies or are not allowed to see so much that this looks like a masterpiece

[@ultimatetrashboy419]

Well I’m sure love triangles can be done right

[@WakkaMadeInYevon]

I can only really stand love triangles when they have more of a friendly dynamic or something. When it gets too spicy, I just find myself getting tired out.

[@mmmhhm]

In defense of Taylor Lautner and Robert Patrerson... Just like how women in media are pressured to have a flat stomach no matter what, both the male actors were under the same scrutiny. When Lautner got the part, rabid fans revolted and body shamed him, and then the studios pressured him to get that six pack. Take note that he was only fifteen years old when he made these movies.

[@Te3time]

HE WAS HOW OLD??? oh no

[@EC-yw5hg]

mmmhhm It’s a shame because six packs are actually a turn off for me 😔

[@echobean5222]

I understand fitting the part for certain roles, but 15 is ridiculous! And technically not even necessary for the character, because they already SHAPESHIFT!

[@metademetra]

Yeah we talk about how Disney destroyed Miley Cyrus, but we don't hear about Twilight destroying Taylor Lautner.

[@metademetra]

@@dewdrops8831 Yes. Yes it is. Remember the 12 year old body builder that had 2% body fat? Yeah doctors told his parents that they really shouldn't do that. And that them starting to train his five year old sister was hella not okay.

[@nyxldx]

"Ha ha" Aro giggled *ACTUAL LINES FROM THE BOOK* #charlieDeservedBetter

[@skyblade7438]

Actually, no, the line is "Aro laughed. "Ha ha" he giggled." So it's actually *triply* redudent.

[@blackknightjack3850]

Fuck you Aro is the best character. It's like he's permanently high off his gourd.

[@bradwolf07]

I was Team "Guy who almost hit Bella with his car", but that is only because I didn't realize I could be Team Winchester!

[@lahlybird895]

His name is Tyler Tyler Crowly

[@nessyness5447]

or team buffy too XD or team vanhelsing

[@PropagandaDS]

Who are the winchesters?

[@PropagandaDS]

Or Shrieve in Flashpoint.

[@nessyness5447]

@@PropagandaDS brothers sam and dean winchesters are the main protagonists of supernatural. they dedicate to drive from one place to another around america hunting down all kind of monsters.

[@MrQuickshot117]

"Jesus wants a hug", Ah I see Krimson is a man of culture as well.

[@ph89787]

MrQuickshot117 While we are on this subject. I still wish that Alucard, Seras and Anderson would come in and kill the lot of them.

[@MrQuickshot117]

So i'm not the only one who wanted this to turn into a bloodbath, SWEET.

[@themaskedmysadaean8885]

@@ph89787 Let's be real... technically; they did in the first episode of that Abridged Series. ^^

[@anarchomando7707]

I'm still not convinced that thay arent just blood sucking demon fairy is unseeli

[@langying]

@@ph89787 don't forget Blade

[@sorcerersapprentice]

From a writing stand point, I think it would've been better to have Jacob and Bella to end up as endgame. This isn't me being "Team Jacob" either, because I am Team Edward Elric. Bella and Edward have zero chemistry. Meanwhile Jacob and Bella come across as a more realistic couple. Jacob cares for her and is always there for her. Meanwhile she shares little in common with Edward and he always takes off. Not to mention that she and Edward broke up for a year by that point and she should've moved on by then. Edward is an abusive jackass. If Jacob and Bella got together, without him being a demanding douche, it would send the message that even if your heart is broken, you can move on. Instead, it comes across as Bella leading him on, being extremely selfish and fickle.

[@hkazu63]

And you can just develop Jacob like a human, going from a possessive, demanding douche, into someone passionate but understanding, realising that Bella needs her space.

[@sorcerersapprentice]

@@hkazu63 And that too. I mean, he's still a teenager and has ample time to grow into a better person, becoming more understanding of Bella.

[@thxwanderer]

I would just like to point out that there is no time frame that it takes to get over someone because no person is the same. The same way Bella hadn't moved on from Edward after a year..... Jacob hadn't even after Bella got married. I won't deny their chemistry and that she played him, but he kept trying to tear down her valid feelings while knowing that she was never going to give him the chance he could've gotten. It was just cringy, really, how it all played out. I'm not on a team because they were both pretty awful in their own ways.

[@sorcerersapprentice]

@@thxwanderer Thing is that unless a person has other problems in their life, dated the person for a very long time (like a few years) or have a preexisting mental disorder like depression, people usually move on from breakups relatively fast for the most part. Bella is none of those things, so her being stuck on the same guy a year after he left, despite dating him for a month, is very unrealistic in that regard. Hell, I usually move on from relationships that lasted long as Bella and Edwards in a matter of a couple days. Shows how much Meyer has absolutely no understanding how real relationships work and loves playing up melodrama. On top of that, she used him as a rebound to get over a break up and to validate her own self worth, despite fucking knowing what she was doing the whole time. While that sort of thing happens, it's still a very shitty thing for her to do. The story should've called her out for it at the very least. Better yet, had consequences for her actions like having Jacob never speak to her again and the relationship with the werewolves be pretty much over. (To be fair, Jacob should've been called out for it too, because he was being a dick as well.) As for the relationship itself, if it wasn't for Jacob acting like a jerk and being a overly demanding douche, I still think it would've been the better endgame pairing. If Jacob and Bella got together, it would send the message that even if your heart is broken, you can move on with your life and leave your ex in the dust (where Edward belonged). Frankly, Jacob is just a better written character then Edward. If the book was more realistic, Bella's relationship with Edward wouldn't have lasted long anyways due to them having nothing in common and him being a borderline abusive boyfriend. While I hate SJM's books, one thing I do give her credit for is making the heroine have multiple love interests throughout the book series and have her move on with her life after a break up. Because that is what happens in real life. People never marry their first loves and they never work out. Instead people marry those who they have a strong bond and connection with. Jacob could fit that bill at least for a while. (Since, to be honest, I'm not sure if it would've worked out in the long run.) You can just develop Jacob like a human, going from a possessive, demanding douche, into someone passionate but understanding, realising that Bella needs her space. Instead, it comes across as Bella leading him on and holding out hope for her ex, despite them never being able to get back together if this was real life, and Jacob being equally as much of a jerk. What a waste.

[@authoralysmarchand4737]

Edward IS abusive. It's just a telling sign of our times that his actions, originally thanks to this book and then Fifty Shades, have been normalized and are minor compared to worse abusers. So now he seems almost kind in comparison instead of a possessive shitbag.

[@thanedynamo8434]

Two ways to improve the Twilight series: Have Charlie be the protagonist, hunting vampires menacing the town whilst struggling with his distant daughter who has fallen in love with one of them (THIS is at least how you do drama, Meyer!). OR Have the Hellsing Organisation, the Scooby Gang from Buffy, the Winchester Brothers, Harry Dresden and Blade join together and wipe the Sparklies out. B)

[@Plaugue1122]

I think Harry Dresden would be enough lol.

[@some_metalhead]

You’re basically just repeating what Krim said in his last Twilight video.

[@thanedynamo8434]

@@some_metalhead It’s a pretty popular story idea by many people (there is a screenshot of a Tumblr thread, I believe. If you watch his Twilight review at that point and pause, you can read it there). But yeah, I don’t take any credit for it, I just think it’s a great idea that deserves to be known, and I was happy to see Krimson mention it.

[@billymccrary2246]

Yeah, Charlie should be the main protagonist like hunting down vampires while jugging with try to connect with his distant daughter who happens to fall in love with Edwin.

[@katherinealvarez9216]

What's funny is that the cast are actually good in other films and shows.

[@minski76]

It's amazing how well Stewart can act if she wants to... :)

[@breawycker]

Kristen stewart was actually nominated for a Razzie Redeemer Award (an award given for people previously in awful movies who have moved on to better movies) for going from Twilight to Camp X-Ray

[@MARYWTHER]

Please I watched the Snow White movie, she's terrible in it. The final scene is so awkward, like there's a speech missing or something. It's just her standing awkwardly in front of a crowd for idk, 50 years? (it felt like it watching it). For the rest, she's just Bella 2.0 (incluuuuuuding the love triangle smh). I've never seen a movie where she's good...

[@mythoughtsandopinions7895]

@@MARYWTHER try watching the movie Speak based on the book. She did this movie before twilight.

[@xgray2012]

I know, right?! Anna Kendrick was so much better in the Pitch Perfect movie trilogy than she was in these god-awful movies.

[@Hyopomora]

Can we just agree that neither Edward or Jacob is a good person for Bella not that she deserves love because she’s literally a piece of paper stick drawing but still Jacob pushes every single time to force Bella into liking him and Edwards just an abusive coward [edit]

[@HieronymousLex]

MikuJonghyunAiyaUeana feels like the author projecting her own experience with a loser “one that got away” and a beta orbiter

[@dorcat2867]

She should have gotten together with Alice, thank you for coming to my TED talk

[@gracekim1998]

@@dorcat2867mmmm for that to work you’d have to rewrite a lot of stuff😅 plus isn’t Alice the sister of Edward?😳

[@jovindsouza3407]

She's not even a stick drawing. She's a sentient vanilla bean.

[@crazyweirdgirl115]

"can't you find a way to just...stop" I absolutely LOSE IT everytime I hear that line. One of the most unintentionally funny lines i've ever heard.

[@ShadowWolfRising]

It's time to stop!

[@hannahc3317]

Jacob should have transformed into a werewolf at that exact moment

[@darkmelodies2694]

Honestly, I just feel bad for the cast. They all hate the movies too

[@cameronrobertson9800]

They did my boy michael sheen so dirty

[@sorcerersapprentice]

​@Sam 'The Book Boy' Robert Patterson too. He's the first one to mock Twilight. He's a great actor in Harry Potter and in other indie movies. But people are now hating him for being cast in that new Batman movie because he was Edward in Twilight...despite Heath Ledger being in A Knight's Tale before becoming the Joker. God, I feel so bad for him.

[@GriffinPilgrim]

At least they got paid to hate it...

[@pageachatter229]

The only remotely entertaining thing out of the entire series was Michael Sheen's performance as Aro, and that's just because he's so over-the-top goofy. It's like he knew this series was absolute garbage, so he thought 'Fuck it! I'm just gonna ham it up!' At least he's having fun, which is far more than I can say for the rest of the cast. Oh, and fyi: Aro can read minds like Edward, but unlike Edward, he has to touch people in order to use his power.

[@Jan_Iedema]

Lisa Plambeck aro can also see all the thoughts a person has ever had once he touches them

[@viktoria_pikovsky]

Yup, Aro was the only one good thing that the movies had for one to look for. Sadly he was so little in the movies, and couldn't save them from being totale garbage with his goofiness.

[@madalynpatton3460]

Twilight would have been a much better series if they focused on the Volturi and their backstory.

[@viktoria_pikovsky]

@@madalynpatton3460 Twilight would had been a masterpiece if it actually was about Charlie hunting down the Cullens and the werewolves.

[@amyd.5168]

Which ones aro again?

[@ShadowWolfRising]

"I am Team Winchester, I'm sure the Main character would find a way to kill most of this cast." I would pay to see that. Dracula: This is how we are represented. Man, you know it's bad when the Kids movie where Adam Sandler is Dracula takes shots at you. 'Edward can read thoughts, but without context or being able to tell if they are lying or not.' Oh shit, he better not try reading my thoughts, My thoughts are clusters of random thoughts, sheer madness, and If I saw it coming, doing very basic math in my head to cloud my thoughts like Atton in Kotor2 did to do the same thing. Guess this means it's another movie better than it's book source material.

[@defaulted9485]

Damn, that part where Adam Sandler takes shots on this movie is so on point, it could euthanize a wolf out of its misery.

[@cvdk6642]

i mean there's actually a mention of Alice translating the national anthem to arabic in her head just because she's hiding something from Edward so...

[@oddeyes9413]

I love that line in Hotel Transylvania. It's to funny.

[@NewGuy2534]

I’m team Mustache Dad. Those filthy Team Van supporters can rot in hell.

[@blvalverde]

Being around teenagers all year round he must read a lot of dirty fantasies and a lot of stupid drama. No wonder he went mad and fell in love with the one teen whose mind he could not read.

[@cartooncrazy9433]

Bella basically looked in the mirror with Sam's scarred fiance. Young women ignoring danger, abuse and violence because love. Ahyes, a fantastic message to impressionable twihard fangirls.

[@natalieely8555]

I hope he gets to Breaking Dawn so that he could witness the epic conclusion to this brilliant series.

[@lunabearsong2043]

It's a hell of a lot better than what the book did. I appreciate the director's approach to a non climactic ending.

[@oddeyes9413]

As a writer, I found the books entertaining in a mindless way... WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER! Now, I hate this series... but have all the movies for mindless background noise. They were given to me... and I sold the books.

[@Xehanort10]

It's done bad in both versions. In the book it seems like it'll be a big fight then they just talk to each other and go. And in the film it's just a vision of a fight that might have happened. I'm still convinced it was a fake vision Alice put in Aro's mind to scare the Volturi into backing off thinking they had no chance against the Cullens and Jacob's pack when really the Volturi would have massacred them had the fight actually been real.

[@lunabearsong2043]

@@Xehanort10 Makes me wish that Aro would have had a way to spot implanted and fake thoughts. It could have worked given his age.

[@idongesitusen5764]

in the stage presence department, take Ozai from Avatar TLA: throughout the first two books, we're told how powerful he is and the way he treated Zuko without even seeing him His full reveal in book three is made all the more intimidating because of that buildup.

[@lunabearsong2043]

Yes, I know that this is 2 years late. I will definitely agree on the point of Ozai. He was just as menacing in real life as he was built up to be. Not to mention the fact that he was incredibly cruel, and he had the literal fire power and standing (being the Firelord) to back it up. However, Victoria's actual abilities and presence do not warrant as much hype as she was given. She certainly didn't do much throughout the books and definitely not in the showdown against Edward. It's one thing to build up a character and have it as a payoff. It's an entirely different thing all together to have a character who simply is there to fill up space. At least in the case of the movies, we got to see more of her because we stepped out of Bella's first person perspective. Even then, however, I don't think it redeemed Victoria's character.

[@breawycker]

Hey speaking of building up mysterious villains: Ozai from Avatar the last airbender (although Azula is a much better villain)

[@TheFLAMEXD]

Emma Or Thanos from the MCU.

[@l.tc.5032]

@@TheFLAMEXD Thanos is one of the Rare kinds that actually lives up to the hype.

[@TheFLAMEXD]

L. T C. I wouldn’t say it’s rare, but it’s definitely uncommon.

[@andrewcarmichael2371]

Also Voldemort, we knew very very little about him until book 6. We never saw him until book 4. And every wizard besides magic Santa was To afraid to say his name.

[@naveenakhedar]

Thunder Goku ATLA!!!

[@blushmuffin5259]

You reminded me how badly I HATED this book and WHY. The only reason I'm able to tolerate this is due to your entertaining review.

[@blackknightjack3850]

The only part of the movie worth watching is when Aro appears because he is fantastically entertaining. I'll admit that he's not worth the hour and a half of torture that should be classified as a war crime under the Geneva Convention, but that's what editing is for.

[@deathknight75]

You and Bella were both waiting for the plot to happen? So she IS relatable! Just not in the way Stephanie Meyer intended.

[@cyanmanta]

Michael Sheen is simply carrying the decades-old tradition of great actors cast as villains in terrible films: hamming it up to the point of hilarity, effectively making their performances the saving grace of their respective films. Jeremy Irons has Dungeons & Dragons, Gary Oldman has Lost in Space, Alan Rickman has Prince of Thieves, Brando has Dr. Moreau... The list goes on.

[@samflood5631]

Prince of Thieves was a great movie.

[@shaestroup2044]

In most folklore, vampires can eat human food. However they don't get any nutrition from it and if they aren't used to it, it can make them vomit the food back up regardless of whether they actually liked the food.

[@ultimatetrashboy419]

Shae Stroup like ghouls

[@Xehanort10]

In Buffy Spike still ate food. At one point he ate Weetabix crushed in blood to give it texture.

[@blackknightjack3850]

@@Xehanort10 Wait the Weetabix and milk meme goes back that far?

[@Xehanort10]

@@blackknightjack3850 I think so.

[@nessyness5447]

@@Xehanort10 it was disgustingly funny XD also that one time he asked to get one of willow's homemade cookies , spike was a great character, buffy was a great show. on the being able to eat human food,i particularly like damon's explanation in tvd , he says that as far as vampires drink human blood their body works almost normally, allowing them to eat normal food ( that even if its not nutritive for them, tastes good and helps fool their hunger for blood), it is also said in the show that their hearts have a beat and they bleed and their bodies feel warm because they can like absorb the blood they drink to their circulatory system, that way they look completely normal to humans and that helps them being a perfect predator( this explanation actually might be the only one or one of the very few that gives a good excuse of how vampires can have sex, as in how can they have erections) it they stop drinking blood for a long period of time they start to disicate until they are left like mummies.

[@MrImastinker]

“Jesus wants a hug!” The fact that you’re a fan of Team Four Star just makes this all the more awesome. Alucard FTW

[@belafeldbusch3397]

MrImastinker Team Alucard is the only good Vampire team

[@ronniehopper2726]

Also 16-year-old Jacob 18-year-old Bella that statutory rape in the state of Washington this is the theme of the entire franchise

[@Megatron_95]

What?

[@lumossk3657]

Not talking about 16/17-year-old Jacob and Bella's new born.

[@leopardnosepaws]

really? can it get more fucked

[@emilyunderwood2239]

FoxyWhite A16/18 year old couple kissing could be construed as statutory rape in the state of Washington bud

[@EC-yw5hg]

Emily Underwood Not true. Age of consent for sexual intercourse in Washington is 16, which means they can consent to sex with an adult. I haven’t found any mention of kissing. I looked at legalmatch.com and ageofconsent.net.

[@lynncheng4094]

Wow, times have been hard to Aziraphale ever since his bookshop burned down

[@sugarm1860]

I just watched Good Omens a few days ago with my family. Watching this review makes me _so_ happy that Michael Sheen’s career didn’t go down the toilet once the franchise ended.

[@starrynightfall00]

I feel so bad because I made my Dad take me to this movie. Just as the credits started rolling he turned to me and said, "That was crap, dear" loool

[@l.tc.5032]

Jeez I hope you apologized to your father.

[@madamefluffy4788]

That whole reaction segment when Edward exposes himself to sunlight - pure comedic genius. right there! I had to roll back a few times to watch it again - it's too funny!

[@Xehanort10]

I bet the Italian people were thinking "Why's that skinny, pale man taking his clothes off?"

[@tonichan89]

Bella about Edward killing people: "It doesn't matter." Bella about Jacob killing people: "You killed people, Jake! D;"

[@thierryeubanks3586]

I KNOW!!!

[@noelbernabe8704]

In all fairness, Edward killed people decades ago, while Bella was under the mistaken impression that the wolves were killing people now. And she was just attacked by Paul, so she might be a bit less trusting of the wolves than she initially was of the Cullens. But yes, Bella CLEARLY showed favoratism to Edward over Jacob. It's one of the many many indicators that Jacob never had a chance

[@srhwonea]

Go team Winchester! Let the boys chop a few vampires and maybe something interesting could have happened! Honestly, with the amount of feels Supernatural has, it could totally teach these series a few things and then we could have had some real personalities. I kind of fall in to the category that these are so bad that theyre good...ish. Or at least the first movie is, the rest i don't even bother with. (Also no hate to anybody, just saying my opinion) :3

[@Megatron_95]

Give the Winchester brothers a vacation and allow Trevor Belmont, Alucard and Sypha Belnades, from Castlevania, kill the wannabe vampires and werewolves

[@srhwonea]

@@Megatron_95 Tru, that would be cool too ;) Thought i think the boys would be so offended if they didin't get to kick even one of those sparkly dudes xD

[@lenthebard5631]

I'm so happy this er, thing, didn't mark Michael Sheen's career because then we wouldn't have Aziraphale

[@starbird3939]

From what I recall, prior to Breaking Dawn, New Moon was the WORST book of the series according to the fanbase.

[@themagicalrobotprisma2793]

Huh, I just now realized Edward exposed himself in public..........wow that's messed up

[@basementdwellercosplay]

Good to see Micheal Sheen went up in his career playing Aziraphale in Good Omens, glad he at least hammed it up so we can finally have a laugh

[@angel7661]

I remember when Stephenie Meyers wrote a gender bender version of twilight and everyone hated claiming what made Bella good was that she was an average teenage girl.

[@viktoria_pikovsky]

LOl, I actually read that version, and from what I read, I can agree with them. Not because Bella's "human struggles" are that more interesting to read about, but because reading Edward's constant wines and mops can actually kill a person. At least with Bella, we could excuse everything on overwhelming emotions, hormones, first "love" confusion and teenage girl cries. But with Edward....it's like reading an Emo kid personal diary, if he tried to write it down as a depression story filled with "da feels". Seriously, that book is used as a torture device in some developing countries.

[@gracekim1998]

What is this book called?

[@gracekim1998]

@@viktoria_pikovsky OH so it’s Edward’s perspective 😅 oh dear

[@larissajoy]

@@gracekim1998 oh no so she did both haha - "midnight sun" is twilight from Edwards perspective.. "life and death" is the gender swapped version where Beau Swan falls in love with Edythe Cullen 😂 This one kinda gets a different ending than the first book, though I don't remember exactly what.. Haven't read them but watched some funny youtube reviews on them ☺️

[@noelbernabe8704]

I read Life and Death, and the funny thing is when she flipped genders I actually found the male version of Bella a lot less hatable. It was weird.

[@CeltycSparrow]

Jacob might not be perfect, but he is far better a man than Edward is. When a problem cropped up with Edward and Bella, he ran. When a problem came for Bella and Jacob, he initially rejected her (only because he was protecting her and he was compelled by Sam) but he was a sweet, supportive friend. Even in her darkest moments, he was always there for her.

[@viktoria_pikovsky]

At least when you are buried alive you still have the chance of surviving and escaping alive. Not that it makes it any better of experience, but at least you have some hope. Something that you lack completely while reading the Twilight books.

[@viktoria_pikovsky]

I never forgot about the pedophilia. Mostly because it involved with future bistiality too.

[@pageachatter229]

If anyone qualifies as a sympathetic character in this (New Moon), it's Jacob, because he truly got screwed.

[@viktoria_pikovsky]

The most screwed character is actually charlie. He seems to be a genuinely interesting character who could have a lot of influence over the plot, yet Mayers kept him in the role of just some dude who lives with Bella. Not even being properly developed as Bella's dad and his own character. But Yes, Jacob also got screwed big time, as he could have been a great competitor for Bella's heart, yet stuck as the forever sloppy second and getting Bella's daughter as a future girlfriend for not being left out completely tho he could have easily got any different girl his age for a love interest.

[@PS-dm1dq]

Yeah, until you remember the LITERAL FUCKING SEXUAL ASSAULT, where he forcibly kisses her against he will. And then after he's all like "oh, dur, I thought you wanted it."

[@JimmyC1994]

Everything about Sheen's performance in these films just screams "I forgot my daughter's birthday and need to make amends"

[@DarkLordGanondorf190]

Michael Sheen seems to be having a blast being his most flamboyant self. It's a pleasure watching him.

[@toribirdz]

Lol I liked the Twilight books overall back in the days, but even I thought New Moon was so freaking boring and skipped a bunch of pages to get to the end 😬

[@samskelton1441]

ichibi drop funny thing is, when I reread the books I always skipped the second book, because it was the worst one.

[@dheemidheemi]

Man I'm glad you go through so much for our entertainment. Although Twilight movies seem so bad that they might be good.

[@xgray2012]

I say the Twilight porno parody movies are better written and far more interesting to watch these piece of shit movies.

[@authoralysmarchand4737]

The first two and a half are so bad they're funny. The middle of Eclipse onward are so boring that I nearly fell asleep.

[@toffletorte]

tbh, as someone who just rewatched new moon last night, the first two films are absolutely hilarious~ i haven’t rewatched any past eclipse since i was like 8-11, but i can agree that eclipse was really boring.

[@liliesaregoodfortheliver2954]

They're a fantastic time if you are hammered like Thor, with a bunch of friends who are equally hammered.

[@Xehanort10]

2:59 Stephanie Meyer was never taught "Show don't tell."

[@lunabearsong2043]

Either that or she didn't give a crap.

[@theinsanegamer1024]

Seriously? It's obvious she wasn't taught anything about writing or story structure. Don't give her any credit where it isn't deserved.

[@lordfawful1229]

I guess that's why most Twilight fans come to their senses after completing all of their middle school English classes

[@gracekim1998]

Xehanort10 true

[@serenity2010sh]

@@theinsanegamer1024 and to think she went to college for literature.

[@BlazeQuadZ]

I recently rewatched "Eclipse" because of this review series and I have to say it wasn't half bad, sure I skipped all the cringeworthy dialogue, sure I skipped almost all interactions between Bella and another person, but those 30minutes I watched were genuinely a blast to watch. I maybe even plan on rewatching the whole series with a few buddies, being wasted as hell ofcourse.

[@fightingmedialounge519]

So it was that bad then.

[@irondragonmaiden]

Amazing how much better the series gets when you cut away Bella

[@Xehanort10]

It was later eclipsed in awfulness by Breaking Dawn.

[@claytonmiller3345]

How was I lucky enough to stumble across your channel? Your content is GOLD. Also another great villain who is built up a lot without much shown (until the latest book) is Odium from the Stormlight Archive. He is talked up for two books before much is really seen, then we are shown why everyone was so afraid of him.

[@ThatRandomEncounterGuy]

Bella Swan is the Asta of vampires...except without the drive, personality, charisma, or anything remotely likable or interesting about the latter that would enable people to gravitate towards her and want to fight for her. So what we're left with might as well literally just be explained as "Because she's the main character" and left her home in Phoenix with a small cactus and a full set of Level 89 Plot Armor she tripped over after clearing a raid boss.

[@ShadowWolfRising]

Also the show acknowledges Asta has flaws.

[@ThatRandomEncounterGuy]

@@ShadowWolfRising Asta's entire character is about his flaws (being the only person in the world with no magic in a world where everyone uses magic of some kind) and how he's able to overcome any obstacle in his way through sheer determination, force of will, and just outright refusal to lose. The ONLY time he doubts himself for even a moment is when his arms are broken and then he shoots that down immediately after and declares it's the last time he's going to feel sorry for himself. His will to fight and protect everyone kinda becomes infectious after a while and it kinda makes sense why people would want to gravitate towards him. Bella...is a human MacGuffin, with the only reason the Cullens stick up for her being "She'd be killed if they didn't" and Edward's only reason for wanting her is because she smells good or whatever. Jacob treats Bella like a friend and a person, and Edward treats her like a pet.

[@fightingmedialounge519]

So she's nothing like asta.

[@noelbernabe8704]

Basically yes. That's sort of the hook for these sort of blank non descript female teen protagonists is YA novels. They allow the target demographic (teenage girls) to self insert themselves in the story. They can see themselves, a regular ordinary teenage girl, somehow become the center of attention for the entire supernatura world. It's wish fulfilment in a horror setting basically. And it worked. 4 books and 5 movies later, we're still talking about this legit global phenomon today. All of that built on a mass of teenage girls imagineing they are Bella Swan.

[@MychaoticuniverseBlogspot]

Michael Sheen's Aro is the best part of the franchise! You can just tell he didn't give a shit, and actually had fun playing the role. It's hilarious.

[@maddiewolfe1783]

Krimson: This is the worst book I’ve ever read! Onision: Hold my underage fan!

[@RachelAnnPotter]

LOL

[@bigchungusstarscream7319]

🤣💀 Accurate

[@ursaminor9780]

I would say “Not like that!”, except it’s Onision.

[@Bartfan16]

"I am Team Winchester. I bet the brothers would find a way to kill the whole cast. And probably die in process." But then again they would come back to life through some BS.

[@finna7824]

15:48 ok fun fact time, Michael Sheen’s work in twilight inspired him to work in the fantasy si-fi genre, later leading to playing the part of Aziraphale the angel in Good Omens.

[@TheVoidIsBees]

Wow, so Twilight actually did something good for the world

[@asteri0nyxx]

Michael Sheen is an angel and does not deserve this smear on his reputation

[@thierryeubanks3586]

That was a deliberate pun right? (He played the Angel Ariphezel in Good Omens)

[@teodoraslozoraitis7409]

i honestly am really grateful for submiting yourself to torture through this piece of failure, Krimson. (and this is coming from a guy who formely favored the series). your rants are justified and very entertaining you are a real hero dude, all flattery aside. Thank you :)

[@MmeCShadow]

So... wait. Wait wait wait. I know that Breaking Dawn eventually gives Bella the best vampire power of being able to shield everybody from every other vampire power, but it didn't occur to me that she could shield herself from all vampire powers. So... how can Alice have visions of her future? It becomes a major sticking point that the werewolves, due to their immunity to vampiric powers, don't register to Alice's visions; that's the whole reason she ran back to Forks to check on Bella, since she saw the cliff dive but couldn't see Jacob saving her. So why doesn't Bella cause the same kind of disruption? I know the answer is 'Meyer didn't think about it' (given that Alice's powers worked on her in the first book it would be a significant plot hole to just have them stop), but this is such a huge point of contention with the Volturi, but right after saying "vampire powers don't affect her!" they re-confirm Alice walking in and having her vampire power work on Bella. I can think of a few ways around this, but they aren't an audience handwave, parts of the story would have to be re-written to explain, accommodate, or adjust. As is this is nonsense. There's so much more to hate about these books but these stupid internal inconsistencies -- which Meyer brushes off as 'lol fantasy' -- really irk me. You can brush it off as fantasy but you have to make your own damn rules make sense against themselves.

[@jennymedrano5104]

Going to try to answer this using the explanations Meyer has given. Hopefully it makes sense. As a human, Bella could only shield herself from certain powers because she has a private mind.Jasper's and Alice's still worked on her. Jasper's had to do with blood flow, and Alice can only see what a person has decided, not how they came to that decision. As for the wolves, they're not immune to all vampiric powers considering Edward could still read their minds. The reason Alice can't see past the wolves is because she's never been one, just like how she couldn't see past Renesmee when Bella was pregnant because she's never been a half breed.

[@TayRayReads]

Here is something that confuses me or I could possibly be misremembering. When Bella becomes a vampire, Bella's immunity to Vampire powers in itself is a power, and (if I am remembering this right I could be wrong it has been years since I have read this book series) didn't the Volturri have vampire bodyguards with the same ability to shield them? Shouldn't the Volturri, of all the Vampires in the Twilight universe, recognize what Bella is?

[@fightingmedialounge519]

I don't think that was the case.

[@TayRayReads]

@@fightingmedialounge519 Ok, I wondered if I imagined that.

[@jessicarhiannon6844]

I can't belive I know this but bellas ability to neutralise powers was a mental ability that she learnt to control and expand to other people via training. The volturri had a dude who could block powers via physical contact only. I am ashamed I remembered that much tbh

[@TayRayReads]

@@lisasand7262 ok. Thank you all for setting me straight.

[@SPS0501US]

That's why aro, since he can't read her thoughts, he knows her potential, and that was a reason why Aro wanted to bite her in Italy, New Moon Book.

[@LilacElf8582]

Question: if all sunlight does to vampires in this world is make them sparkle....why don't they just tell people they like glittered body wash or something?

[@andreacaininstinct]

Michael Sheen is playing the angel Aziraphale in the movie adaptation of Good Omens. Plus, David Tennant plays the demon Crowley. If you feel like it, you could review that when it comes out. Love your reviews, btw. You do good work. 💕 I think they should make like a side story to Twilight where Bella's dad is the main character. Like, imagine Charlie trying to connect to his sulky teenage daughter. He thinks of Edward as a weird, too-pale kid from a very strange family, but he tries to be open-minded because he knows Bella likes him. He likes Jacob better because he's known him longer. As he attempts to be a good dad and understand his daughter, he gets pulled into the world of vampires and werewolves. He's the rational, straight-laced sheriff whose life suddenly gets turned upside down, so now he has to deal with all this other supernatural stuff on top of his daughter apparently dating a *hundred year old vampire.* He thinks Edward should be arrested, but the Cullens won't let that happen. By the second movie, he's very tired. At the end of the series, he'll need a week-long vacation. I can't remember if someone else commented something similar in one of the previous videos. I feel like they might have.

[@irondragonmaiden]

It's kind of funny in a creepy way, but Meyer made Jacob more controlling and domineering to make him "more appealing" Which is sad, because he already had interesting flaws, especially in dealing with the supernatural induced fatal flaw of a damn near uncontrollable temper. That would've been much more interesting to explore. Fuck it, you could've made Jacob the protagonist who was used by Bella who then returned to her ex and the rest of the story was him healing from his goodwill being abused and then having to deal with the damned vampires in his town that just attract more and more danger.

[@noelbernabe8704]

For vampire love triangles, we seem to have certain tropes. We see in in Buffy and Vampire Diaries too. The female protagonist has to choose between the dark brooding emo suitir (ie Edward, Angel, Stephan) or the arngy domineering but funner bad boy (ie Jacob, Spike, Damon). Jacobs personality shift, which was explained due to his change as a werewolf, allows him to fall into the usual formula. Not necessarily defending this happening to Jacob... just making the observation.

[@emilylloyd1684]

Knowing Micheal Sheen he is probably ashamed of being in the Twilight series. He's done much better (like Good Omens).

[@andrewb6194]

7:33 I’m on team Dio Brando, since he did the “sexy vampire” concept first and better (it’s not gay if it’s for Dio) On a side note, could you imagine a Twilight but with Dio Brando instead of the cullens, Streits and two random vampires instead of Victoria and her gang (rivals to Dio), humanoid werewolves that use hamon, And most importantly of all, replace the Volturi with the PILLER MEN? Kars in place of Aro? I don’t know about you, but that sounds AWESOME!!!!

[@jacknapier8201]

"I bet the brothers could kill the brothers could find the way to kill most of this cast" Angel blades most likely, there's a fanfic where that happens

[@omnidragon2260]

7:35 true they have dealt with vampires before, and they have come back from the dead before 10:34 HA XD I love that line 11:03 hotel Transylvania twilight reference 13:13 clips of emperor new groove, the spongebob movie, and Indiana jones and a voice clip of abridged nappa, also MY EYES THEY BURNED!!!!!!

[@hanyuu05]

7:39. Sam and Dean? Totally. Castiel... depends on which season because he was a BEAST in seasons 3-5

[@rosegilliland220]

This series should have been written in third person. I always picture Charlie showing up in the battle of Breaking Dawn with a shotgun and wolf Jacob at his side to protect him, cigarette in hand saying, “Am I late?” He was there even though he’s a human, to protect his daughter and granddaughter. Yes, so much wasted potential. These books could have been so much more. Sadly we’re stuck in Bella’s head. (Charlie dealing with the fact his daughters dating a vampire and his best friend is a werewolf and the fact he’s never gotten over his divorce with his wife. Team Charlie) Also, the scene with “October, November and December,” I believe she got that idea from the novel Jane Eyre. I have no proof if she took that idea but it’s in that novel as well.

[@noelbernabe8704]

I think the problem is that Twilight vampires were just too powerful to really involve humans in the story (apart from Bella of course). Because they have none of the weaknesses that traditional vampires have (ie sunlight, stakes, garlic, crosses, etc) Charlie really couldn't do much short of showing up in a sherman tank. That said, it would be interesting to get some things from his perspective. If Meyers ever continues the Twilight sage, I would like to see Charlies reaction to the truth if it ever happens.

[@Laura-ck2hh]

OMG, at the part when Edward goes out to shine the montage had me crying tears of laughter. I almost peed myself, hahaha. Good job.

[@vaderectum]

10:34 "Jesus wants a hug" i fucking loved that quote

[@lenastorm6280]

The worst thing about the Sam and Emily-realationship is that, if you took out the supernatural-part, Sam is still a guy, who got angry with his girlfriend and hit her! He hit his girlfriend, because he was angry! I know that Bella and Edwards relationship is abusive, but this is to!!

[@Xehanort10]

Even worse. He got angry at her for rejecting him.

[@my_girl_seraphine5294]

Then she’s stuck with him afraid he would hurt her again if she did any little thing he didn’t like

[@noelbernabe8704]

It's tricky to really judge that because we didn't actually see it happen in the story. It could have been abusive, but it also could have been an accident. When you're dealing with supernatural beings, that can happen Jasper attacked Bella in New Moon for example, but I don't think we can necessarily judge him poorly as a person because of it. It was just an accident that can happen because he's a vampire. It's possible that the same cam be said about Sam. Or maybe it was Sams fault. We can't say since we don't really see it. But in the least I think we can say that it looks really really ugly.

[@Sam-im5tc]

Actually this is incorrect. As I recall in the book it's explained that basically he had put his hand up in an attempt to warn her to stay back from him and when he turned the claws slashed her face. He hadn't intended to harm her but because she hadn't known about the whole werewolf thing at the time a simple gesture turned into a serious injury.

[@tamakunminnip2117]

​@@Sam-im5tcshe did know he was a werewolf. As his imprinte he could tell her everything. Emily was trying to convince Sam to go back to Leah and what set him off was Emily comparing him to his father (who left when he was six and may or may not be Embry's biological father) the rest is exactly how you described. Also before you or anyone else says it I am not saying that it was Emily's fault, her injury is entirely Sam's fault.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

Bella doesn't have enough to reach Mary Sue. There's too much useless and vulnerability in her so if anything, she's plot McGuffin with a touch of shill. Also, we got to see Yoda fight in Ep. II...

[@authoralysmarchand4737]

Plot McGuffin is the absolute best way I've heard her described.

[@blackknightjack3850]

Simply put, she's far too boring to be a Mary Sue.

[@Mekirah]

Anti-sue. That is what she is.

[@mello.sorciere.a.lunettes]

Except that she is a full-on Mary-Sue. She just fills multiple categories : -Self-Insert : there have been some memes taking Bella's physical description and putting it over Meyer. It's just her when it's not Kristen Stewart. Meyer even said in interviews that if she'd ever had a girl, she would have named her Isabella, Bella's full name. -Relationship : Edward is basically Meyer's fantasy about her perfect man. She even stated that if a real-life Edward came right throught her door, she would leave everything (husband and kids included) to follow him. -Black Hole : bad guys attack because *_she_* is there; good guys fight and die for *_her_* happiness; she got to be pregnant of a vampire even thought it's pratically impossible in this universe; she gets to become a vampire without leaving anything of her human life behind; she gets resurrected when she dies at birth; she has a child whose very existence creates conflicts; ect. -Classic : her name literally means "beautiful swan", predicting her transformation ugly duckling-like. After being transformed, she gets a charisma pack making her astonishingly beautiful and making it possible for her to hunt mountain lion in high heels and silk dress without any inconvenience. -Divine : when transformed, she gets a very rare and powerful capacity (mental shield); she doesn't crave for human blood contrary to almost all newly turned vampires in this universe do in their first months; she can keep her child without making any sort of sacrifice; ect. So yes, even if it's kinda discreet at first, it becomes more and more obvious as the story progresses.

[@Mekirah]

@@mello.sorciere.a.lunettes Now that I notice, yeah you are right. I think I was thinking about how bland of a character she is. And how she was trying not to be like other girls.Something that Anti-sues tend to do.My mistake on that part.

[@meneldal]

I've seen a saying before that feels appropriate so here it is Saying that New Moon should be burned is an insult to fire

[@ofbooksandbooknerds]

You know you're dealing with a reviewer with taste when the clips from other movies he uses are far more entertaining than the movie/book he's reviewing.

[@christiegreenwood2642]

Michael Sheen is amazing. What the hell are you on about? He's the best thing in these trainwrecks. He knows exactly what these movies are and has fun with that. I never get tired of watching montages of his scenes.

[@leadvendor]

Sheen and Billy Burke were the best parts of this movie because they did not take a single thing seriously and had as much fun as they could. Bless 'em.

[@l.tc.5032]

thank the gods for good omens

[@loneronin6813]

Honestly I expected the camera to cut back to Krimson covered in the torn pages of the entire New Moon book with him seething in rage and a piece of the book hanging from his mouth just before the ending credits. Honestly, that would probably have been my reaction if I had to read the book on top of watching the film :P In all seriousness though, thanks Krimson for all the hard work you do for us. You're as insightful as you are wickedly witty! Never change you blade-wielding bibliophile ^_^

[@geosustento8894]

As for Aro's powers, I think it was explained in New Moon that as soon as he touches you, he will know everything you know and everything that has ever crossed your mind up until that point. That's why Alice can't lie to him.

[@senpaijecho]

You are right, you CAN create a terrifying and compelling villain/antagonist without showing his or her face. Fire Lord Ozai in Avatar is proof of it. They built his character around how everyone that had ever came across him reacted. Everyone mentioned he was this vicious and ruthless guy and you believed them mostly because of Zuko, because you understood that, if he was able to do that with his own son, he could do anything. There are many resources in this story, both book and movie, that were just completely wasted.

[@LilithNakamura]

>This is the worst book I have ever read Empress Theresa: Allow me to introduce myself

[@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets]

64 Squares: Hello there.

[@thierryeubanks3586]

Hahahahah

[@skylermaves7272]

They get worst Krimson, so good luck and I look forward to seeing you join the Twilight Stole My Brain Society. We are truly a wrecked and ruined group.

[@devonthefool]

Y'know, the fact that books like these are published and get so wildly popular, makes me feel pretty confident that I can publish my own stuff.

[@Te3time]

anything can be popular if it has hot guys in it

[@nothen3681]

It was probably just published in right time tbh, same with Harry potter, star wars etc. After those books became "mainstream"/successful when others try to use same themes they probbly automatically get rip off label

[@jeromelancashire3278]

7:32 I'm team Buffy but seriously how come Jacob is a good boyfriend but is constantly treated like crap you could so much better dude.

[@lordcasinator]

" _I_ am team Winchester." God same

[@POLE7645]

I gotta admit. Dakota Fanning looks legitimately scary in that role.

[@eamonndeane587]

Dakota should really collaborate on a project with Ari Aster at some point.

[@valerius610]

10:31 "Alucard, I order you to kill those motherducking wannabe vampire fairies and record me a lightshow worthy of being played on my birthday." "HOLY SHIT I'VE MISSED YOU!"

[@JackedThor-so]

Thank you so much for talking about Jacob. I thought the EXACT same things when I read the book. he was the nicest guy when he was human but became a terrible person when he turned into a werewolf. He was even worse in Eclipse. I've talked to people about it and they think I'm insane because "when he was human he wasn't sexy (physically)." this was such a relief hearing someone else bring up these points!

[@noelbernabe8704]

We're told in the story that young wolves have a difficult time controlling their emotions, so in the least there's a in story explanation on why his behavior changed so rapidly. In the least, he chilled once he imprinted. COurse, that's messed up for an entirely different reason.

[@jay.hartman1789]

Damn dude. Not even a minute into the video and I'm already rofl. Twice. You deserve 200K extra subscribers, likes, views etc. Your content is sheer gold even without counting the extra skits you guys put on. (And the skits themselves are as good or better than the reviews!)

[@MsSquarebanana]

I have never been more excited for a video than to see this pop up. I randomly came across your channel a month or so ago and binged a bit. I then saw you started doing the Twilight series.. please tell me you're doing all of it. I mean, I'm sorry for suggesting it but.. this is gold. I've also suffered through the books, so I feel your pain. I have to finish a series once I start it.. though this series about broke me.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Glad you've enjoyed the channel so far. XD I do plan on finishing the series, but not quite yet. These are more of season finales, so you'll just need to wait a little bit until Eclipse. We'll have plenty of other great episodes in between though, don't you worry!

[@mirandatilley2486]

I'm so glad Michael Sheen got to do Good Omens after this garbage.

[@duncananderson2113]

3:20 Twilight Werewolf vs Vampire=Lame Van Helsing Werewolf vs Vampire = BADASS

[@crunglemcbungley]

"This is the worst book I have EVER. READ." -A man who goes on to read ALL of Onision's garbage trilogy and Empress Theresa

[@cymond]

Don't forget about 64 SQUARES

[@cryptia]

I was shocked when I found out that Michael Sheen was in this series, he was such a cool lycan in Underworld 3 (the only Underworld that I actually like)

[@mikaylabrasil4392]

I saw "Twighlight" the book at Goodwill and only read 4 pages before I put it down and realized how much of a disgrace Stephanie Meyers was to the writing universe.

[@rebeccavaughn8897]

Had a stressful day. Came home. Saw this in my notifications. Thank you, Krimson!

[@starsbookreviews]

Man I what a horrible time to be a book junkie during these movies/books releases. I had a friend who would compare this series with everything we talked about! Not talking bad about it mind you, nothing but praise from her!

[@shen4385]

TBH I think the “werewolf girl” knew about Bella because of the pack’s shared telepathy. Sam probably had to hear Jacobs annoying thoughts about her all day lmao

[@613harbinger316]

14:57 I just wanted to say how much I appreciate that you said, "How *ARE* there still 30 minutes left in this movie?!" instead of "How IS...". Perhaps unimportant to a lot of people, but I'm _very_ impressed by it. It basically invalidates the pathetic writing skill argument by that Twitter Twit you showed at the beginning of part 1. Kudos.

[@mollyreed7262]

This film was awesome! It cured my insomnia, my sleeping pattern owes it, it was the best night's sleep I've ever had.

[@monstrosity6738]

Vampire guy: *reads Bella's mind* I see nothing. Me: That explains a lot

[@Katzykeens]

My question is why isn't Edward vamp-king? His power is Auro's but more efficient; he doesn't need to touch anyone to read their thoughts

[@menaceofmint]

As a genuine fan of what Twilight COULD have been, there is so much I wish they would have done differently. Only one of those things is research on Vampire/Werewolf lore. SMeyer screwed this whole series up.. I could have written/directed a better series. I genuinely enjoy these reviews and share your concerns and opinions.

[@aconcernedcommissar6261]

going to say this you would think if that many tourists went missing by now someone would have investigated?

[@calamaria9221]

Alice says that Edward wouldn't believe her unless he sees Bella early on (like before they leave iirc), but at the same time why didn't Edward set out to see Bella's body to confirm considering Alice's vision didn't show Bella's body after jumping.