A Portent of the Misery to Come | TBWB: Eclipse Review Part 1

[@fredesca8648]

Krimson rises just in time for Easter.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Guess I'm living up to "Book Jesus". XD

[@fredesca8648]

@@KrimsonRogue and Twilight is your scourging, crowning of thorns, your cross and crucifiction?

[@azurewriter1858]

A way better 'Stations of the Cross' than Superman's back at the Synderverse. :P

[@gracekim1998]

@@KrimsonRogue indeed 🤣😎

[@kaidorade1317]

And on the third day, His disciples went to the Throne Of Books. And when they arrived at the Throne they found not Him but instead two angels clothed in white who spake: “Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, for He is risen!”

[@Starburst514]

21:00 the fact Anna Kendricks has forgotten she was in twilight speaks for itself how inconsequential bellas human friends were

[@Roserae16]

She is however grateful for the paychecks that kept her fed and sheltered, especially when the other roles she had at the time (which were supposed to be her big breaks) didn't really cover her gas... If it wasn't obvious, this is me telling you that Anna Kendricks book "Scrappy Little Nobody" is more interesting to read than Twilight, you're welcome

[@Xehanort10]

The worst part is Meyer writes them as evil deserting traitors for not putting up with her self insert's insane obsession with Edward.

[@leahscontemporary]

She's just riding the train. So youre telling me she spent 4 movies, entire press tours and an impressive salary and didn't remember that she stared with these people

[@samuelbarber6177]

@@leahscontemporary maybe she just forgot what movie she was in. Once you’re out of Twilight, you just forget about it, with good reason.

[@sorcerersapprentice]

@@Roserae16 Thanks for the rec. Need to check that book out sometime.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

News headline: Florida man crashes a forklift into a bus stop. Claims he got blinded by a passerby's shiny skin

[@AsheNightwind]

Sad thing is, as a Florida native...That would happen.

[@alexjewett7455]

@@AsheNightwind seriously? What is wrong with Florida?

[@jagartharn6361]

@@alexjewett7455 The sunshine law, look it up.

[@willmangrum3686]

@@alexjewett7455 It's were the SCP's that can't be contained naturally flock to.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

"That's like getting a novella for a guy who refills vending machines on the Death Star" Knowing SW Expanded Universe, this novella probably exists

[@dragonranger8456]

and it's probably better written than the Sequel Trilogy

[@maxthepaladin2147]

Well that's not exactly a high bar to pass, is it?

[@honestkyn718]

I know there's a story about the dude who pulled the trigger on the death star

[@bryceevangelista721]

It's even funnier when you remember Finn said he worked at sanitation in Starkiller Base.

[@darkdreamer871]

I mean, in canon we have a short story for the bar tender at the Mos Eisley cantina and one for the guy who brought people coffee on Hoth

[@samuelbarber6177]

In a favourite book of mine, The War Of The Worlds, the protagonist is basically just passive. Just surviving the invasion, and it works there because it’s meant to show how powerless the ordinary man is in this situation.

[@voluntaryismistheanswer]

Reminded me of Evil Fanny Price 😄

[@morganyoung3557]

When you actually think about it, for most of the Original Trilogy Luke was a passive protagonist, but it was part of the bigger story of Luke realizing he needed to take a more active role and make his own choices instead of blindly believing what others told him to do which was why he was right to have faith in the fact that he believed that there was some good in Darth Vader while other were telling Luke to kill him especially since if Luke did end up killing Vader it would have caused more harm than good to Luke in the long run. But I usually prefer that if a story with a passive protagonist to have a journey of them deciding to become a more proactive one instead.

[@andrewb6194]

@@morganyoung3557 that’s kind of similar to Gohan before his battle with Cell. He was a passive child cast into a dangerous world where he couldn’t be passive. He was forced time and time again to take action, many times, facing great danger and pain because of it. Eventually, after enough learning, situations, and pep talks, he eventually became the action protagonist for an entire fight. And then the Buu saga happened...

[@samuelbarber6177]

@@morganyoung3557 Yeah. Passive protagonists work in cases like that, because they provide a vessel for the audience to experience this strange new world. Without Luke, we wouldn’t have a way to know much about the Jedi or the Force, same goes for Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or Neo or- I could literally go on forever. Plus, in Star Wars there were other interesting characters, several of whom also filled the more active roles, particularly Han and Obi-Wan. Luke, like the examples I mentioned, does evolve into a more active role. That’s what a character arc is. Other times, like in The War of the Worlds, it’s a way of seeing the way people would act, or exploring the situation as they go. Did I mention that character in that novel doesn’t get a name? In fact, I seem to remember there only being a few named characters in the entire story.

[@nyxldx]

I hate to say this, but canonically Stephanie has stated that when a human is turned their mental age stays the same. So Edward's being turned at 17 means he'll forever have the mentallity of a 17 year old. It's bullshit but that's her reasoning 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@KrimsonRogue]

Can you find a source that says that for me? I'd LOVE to tear that claim apart.

[@nyxldx]

@@KrimsonRogue It's stated in the "The Official Illustrated Guide", which is a spin-off encyclopedic reference book for the whole twilight saga. I feel like you'll _love_ tearing apart SM's nonsense. She even talks about the "literary inspiration" she got... You're gonna get a headache from that. I searched for it and the part I'm speaking about is under "Physical Characteristics" in which she says and I quote: "Vampires are frozen in the state at which they are transformed.They do not grow older, taller, wiser or experience any other physical change, including unconsciousness."

[@CoolG97]

@@nyxldx Considering that Edward was dying from influenza and Emmett was mauled by a bear, I question what "frozen in the state at which they are transformed" actually means.

[@gracekim1998]

@@CoolG97 wow

[@CoolG97]

​@@elainagilbert7663 Actually at 17 Edward would be too young for the draft. (I'm convinced this whole "mentally 17" thing was an attempt to cover up the implications of an over-a-century-year old guy going after a teenager. Kind of like how Myer tried to explain Imprinting was about being "protector".)

[@obi-wan-pierogi]

I wanna write a comic where it’s just Charlie Swann driving across the country kicking Vamp ass with a werewolf buddy. Like after he finds out what edward did to his daughter he just snaps and goes on a rampage to clear the vampire menace. And also it’s revealed he always knew about the werewolves since I always thought it’s odd he didn’t know since he’s best friends with Billy Black.

[@minespatch]

Charlie is best boy in the Twilight series. I forgot this film so I feel bad for what I heard what they did to Charlie in this film.

[@theaj7866]

If you do, please publish this, I would read the HECK out of this!

[@obi-wan-pierogi]

@@theaj7866 oh I definitely will lol. To avoid copyright infringement I may name him Chuck Mallard but he’ll look just like movie Charlie so people will get the point lol

[@theaj7866]

@@obi-wan-pierogi Sounds absolutly perfect!

[@anarchomando7707]

@@obi-wan-pierogi see just go the 50 shades route start as a fanfic then Change for legal the that's it.

[@brittanyalexis5272]

On the one hand, I love seeing movies and books like this get absolutely ripped apart. However, I feel so bad for the poor people that have to suffer through it. I am so sorry Krimson. My roommates and I salute you

[@Megatron_95]

And that's why alcohol is a thing

[@theantithesis1]

Awful lot of Brittany's in the world today...

[@brittanyalexis5272]

@@theantithesis1 is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[@bdoug]

@@brittanyalexis5272 Britneys unite

[@zachscarbrough2727]

@@brittanyalexis5272 If they act like the character in the book, it’s a bad thing. A Very Bad Thing.

[@iamvictoriarae]

I read the twilight series back in middle school and I was HOOKED. 13 year old me really identified with Bella because I TOO was Brunette and clumsy.

[@michaeliv284]

And now?

[@meloneatingwolf1882]

Wait, that’s it?

[@Διόνυσος-ξ5ξ]

You are basically Van Hellsing of the Twilight world P.s you are starting to look like a loral advert with those lushes locks, book jesus

[@michaelawesome1864]

Abridged or official?

[@Διόνυσος-ξ5ξ]

@@michaelawesome1864 Abridged

[@BugsyFoga]

When the world needed him most he returned!!!

[@sebastiangopher8068]

An Almost Easter miracle from Literature Jesus :D

[@marocat4749]

Returning to suffer.

[@warrirornunluv801]

Although his roasting skills are great, it would take a lot to get through these terrible books AND film. But I believe...KrimsonRogue will save the literature world.

[@KM-hv1jg]

The king… has returned.

[@metatronblack]

When the world needed him the most he drank and slept.

[@floppy280]

It was clearly Nyarlathotep who made the deal with Meyer, right? He's the only one sadistic enough to allow the Twilight Series to exist.

[@viridityone3106]

And here I thought it was Cthulhu doing it for the LOLs 😂

[@CoolG97]

Introducing something as harmless escapism but it's actually part of a more nefarious plot. Yeah that sounds like old Crawling Chaos.

[@kylesodyssey8591]

Nyarly is to busy doing actual productive evil like battling with Philemon

[@cartooncritique6625]

I was thinking the exact same thing! XD

[@nanotfound1042]

@@kylesodyssey8591 Ahh i see what you did there you cheeky gamer

[@FillaneAmmisto]

My best friend was a huge fan of twilight and begged me to watch it in cinema with her. So I went along, because let's be honest watching twilight alone is kinda awkward. I ended up walking out very early on, because I just escaped an abusive relationship and Edward's behavior made me relapse.

[@zachscarbrough2727]

So sorry you had to go through that. Hope you’re doing better.

[@georgethompson1460]

oof

[@ultimatetrashboy419]

Oof

[@vaggos2003]

I'm so sorry to hear about that. I hope you are doing much better now. Take care, stay safe, you have my wishes and God bless you.

[@sibanipanigrahy5509]

Oof

[@Jmoney32689]

It’s so funny how with all the valid criticism of Edward being a shitty character, Robert Pattinson completely agrees with it (Twilight is a point of shame for him) and his hatred of the character fueled his performance of him being a self-loathing creep. It’s actually brilliant when you consider the context.

[@Xehanort10]

He even said in an interview "The more I read the script the more I hated this guy so that's how I played him. As a 108 year old virgin who hates himself."

[@johanneskaiser8188]

39 confirmed kills in 3 months? Damn, in another setting solving this would be the party's job in a Vampire The Masquerade game. With orders to kill on solution for the masquerade-risking killing spree.

[@cartooncritique6625]

Why couldn't we have gotten THAT movie instead?

[@eldrichnemo9312]

I've had this concept for ages where the Prince of Seattle sends a party to Forks because the Cullens are blatantly toeing The Masquerade with Bella's inclusion being the final straw. Make the Cullens some thin-blooded Kiasyd and the "shapeshifters" kinfolk who's generation of young adults are suddenly fur-spoloding in reaction to vampire activity; hell, maybe Billy Black is the one who reached out to the Prince ‽ eh first place out of desperation. And Charlie of course becomes a Hunter through the whole ordeal

[@j.tgrooms]

I just imagine Krimson fighting through bad books while going up a tower ala Persona 3

[@JohnDoe-uf3lj]

That is a silly albeit awesome idea.

[@thegreatstoneddragon9432]

The only question would be who/what would his Persona be?

[@tartagliatheharbinger8744]

Athena/Minerva or Coeus. Maybe Galileo... what would his persona look like? It’s gotta be more than a personification of a library lol

[@GrammarKamikaze]

Maybe like in Persona 5 he could have a persona based on a historical figure like idk, Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde or something, or maybe a very well-known literary character like Sherlock Holmes.

[@GodOfOrphans]

@@tartagliatheharbinger8744 Alexandria, it combines elements of the Great Library of the same name and Alexander the Great in its design.

[@danieldevine7972]

Hearing Krimson explain how Ed treats Bella has given me ideas for one of the villains in a book I’m developing. It’s about a werewolf and a vampire fighting over and obsessing over a human girl who is trying to get away from them. She keeps telling them ‘no’, but neither of them listen. The vampire is such a narcissistic douche that he thinks he can have any girl he wants, and the werewolf believes that the MC is just playing hard to get. I haven’t read Twilight and do not intend for this story to be a spoof of it, but watching Krimson’s videos on the Twilight series is helping me brainstorm ideas.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Just wait until Part 5. I break down how Meyer treats relationships like an incel.

[@gracekim1998]

You know what’s scary? A lot of people view that behaviour as ‘romantic’ and this does explain where what’s-her-name got inspiration for Gray in 50 shades🤦‍♀️

[@jacklovejoy5290]

I live with one, her views of romance are concerning

[@cartooncritique6625]

Those people are clearly masochistic.

[@gracekim1998]

@@cartooncritique6625 😨oh boy

[@gracekim1998]

@@jacklovejoy5290 I um never liked the fact that 50 shades of grey is under the romance genre😅 it’s quite unsettling

[@sragland314]

@@gracekim1998 Agreed, in FSOG it’s a shitty relationship with an awful power dynamic. Horribly shows their interpretation of bdsm cuz we need even more people to think badly of us.

[@shannonlewis2022]

I’m writing a story with a passive protagonist, and you gave me a great guide on what to do/not do with him. Thanks, Krimson!

[@KrimsonRogue]

Glad to help. :D

[@loukmjl6083]

You know you messed up when you make a visit to Florida boring.

[@meloneatingwolf1882]

“Do they still shoot tourists in Florida?” “Mainly sir yes” - Bruiser.

[@cleothehermetichermeticist8391]

@@meloneatingwolf1882 “You star.”

[@cdmonmcginn7561]

so on the internet today, we have Forgotten Weapons Gun Jesus, and KrimsonRogue Book Jesus

[@Zelinkokitsune]

So you're telling me they should collab on a bad story on firearms history?

[@kalebtewodros]

Who’s the first one?

[@bigbabado8296]

@@kalebtewodros I know this comment was 2 months old, but he's a channel that goes through the histories of certain guns. Good channel imo.

[@kalebtewodros]

@@bigbabado8296 that’s cool

[@mattc2306]

After the complete snoozefest that was New Moon, I'm curious to see how much lower Eclipse can go from here.

[@victoriashevlin8587]

Oh you sweet summer child. Its was a total fucking travesty...

[@mattc2306]

I'm ready for the long run...

[@samuelbarber6177]

The Dom did a great rant on this book and the bit where Ed just pulls his 180

[@Roserae16]

Ikr? Dominic Nobel's review was stellar, I was just thinking I should rewatch it after this

[@coolcat7011]

What's sad is that thanks to my best friend being a mega twihard back when these movies where coming out that I'm a writer today. She dragged me to various midnight release events, either for the movie premiers or DVD releases. And as much as she's STILL my best friend and I love her for who she is, these movies were bad and I was only able to make it through the first book myself before giving up and ditching the series and the ONLY reason I pushed myself to finish the first book was to get brownie points with one of my teachers at the time who was also a twihard. I started writing because I was so offended by how BAD these books and movies were, not to mention how Meyers shits all over vampires which me as a Romanian was doubly offended by, I felt compelled to start writing to hopefully restore some balance in the world and put something good back into the literary world.

[@scottrauch1261]

Theres 1 good thing that came from this series then. Good luck with your writings

[@coolcat7011]

@@scottrauch1261 So far 1 book done and published called The Demon's Rose, paranormal angel and demon romance. Plus another book in the works that's a bit more adventure in nature called A Broken Scale. There are dragons involved with a blending of eastern and western ideas about them. ^^

[@victoriashevlin8587]

@@coolcat7011 ooohh ok that sounds like my bag indeed. Both of them, especially the second one. Where can I find them?

[@victoriashevlin8587]

@@coolcat7011 are you going to possibly release an audiobook version?

[@coolcat7011]

@@victoriashevlin8587 Demon’s Rose is already up on amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/B083PQJ2P4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_66K9TDHXYFB4KY305TCV I’m still writing Broken Scale but I’ve only got a couple chapters left as of this moment. There are no audiobooks at the moment, and I doubt I will make one for The Demon’s Rose. But I’m considering maybe for A Broken Scale and possibly others that come after.

[@reddove13]

Today's my birthday and i can't think of a better way to celebrate it other than watching book jesus talk about bad vampire romance

[@thoughtsofaleo2916]

Happy birthday!

[@reddove13]

@@thoughtsofaleo2916 thank you! :D

[@KrimsonRogue]

Happy (belated) Birthday! :D

[@reddove13]

@@KrimsonRogue oh my god book Jesus replied :0 thanks book Jesus!

[@onceuponabook7838]

Since there is so much that can be done in the vampire world of this series, I sometimes imagined the Volturi having some humans on the payroll who are journalists, law enforcement, and medical examiners to cover up killings done by vampires or gather intel of suspicious vampire movements during the day.

[@andrewb6194]

If only we got the chance to see this kind of stuff!

[@CoolG97]

All we see them employee humans for is luring in victims, because it's not like blood-banks exist.

[@Longshanks1690]

The Volturi trying to manage the various vampire factions and clans without the majority of people in the human world discovering them would be a thousand times times more interesting and dramatic than what Twilight actually is.

[@ghoulkinggruul7345]

The most anticipated triology of the 21st century

[@jenneacubero1036]

Bruh...how do you fail at cooking spaghetti that badly?! The only times when I mess up would be when I had put the pasta in the pot too soon and it comes out clumpy with the butter.

[@QuikVidGuy]

butter??? in the spaghetti pot??? no wonder it's clumpy

[@jenneacubero1036]

@@QuikVidGuy I would dump out the water first and then put the butter in and it would usually turn out fine.

[@gracekim1998]

I can’t cook much (I can make like pasta and Rice😅) but even I know you don’t put a jar in a microwave 🤦‍♀️

[@scottgaultney]

@Elly van den Brink I blame the person teaching him to cook, Undyne. Because she believes that "the more violently you cook, the better the dish will be."

[@amberdeyuliis7886]

@Elly van den Brink I think papyrus could make better pasta

[@Dr3Mc3Ninja]

I thought my eyes were deceiving me, I am so happy to see this. My sibling and I recently watched all the Twilight movies within 3 days, Bella has never stopped being insufferable to me, I love watching it, just to rag on it. Krimson ragging on this, is a gift.

[@dapplejackthegreater4995]

“Florida man lights bed on fire for nurses attention. ....you don’t have to look it up you know it’s true” Damn it. That comment earned a like.

[@jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets]

Meanwhile, Kansas man brings japanese swords to a custody battle.

[@overlordcacius]

Just when I started working on trying to be an aspiring writer. You return.

[@kanemccarthy1979]

for thousands of years I've laid dormant. Who has disturbed my- oh OH! This review. I'll let it slide.

[@cybercritic8834]

My god... The fabled 5 parter is actually happening! Godspeed Krim. Thanks for the comedy and insights in advance!

[@joethehero2]

I blame Nyarlethotep for this. It seems like something he'd do...

[@cartooncritique6625]

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking it. XD

[@Xehanort10]

Either him or the Elder God from Legacy of Kain. Meyer probably offered her soul to him and promised to give him the souls of the Twilight fans as well.

[@Megatron_95]

I have been waiting a long time for this. Welcome back, Book Jesus. #DontCutTheHair

[@Grim_Sister]

One day, he shall create a tower of books and shall be known and the Rapunzel of Literature

[@willmangrum3686]

I am here from the future to deliver good news as well as bad news. Bad news, he cuts the hair. Good news, it's for a noble cause.

[@kitmakin289]

I believe the Jackson Rathbone version of Sokka is pronounced "Sucka" as that's apparently what he is whenever he listened to his agent.

[@anarchomando7707]

See the actor *can* be funny but shamalallalan was shit director

[@justincarawan-carawanco.pu1639]

"Please keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times; we are going into motion!"

[@baileyrn98]

I was a "Twi-Hard" back in the day (please don't judge me I was in 5th grade when the first movie came out) and I LOVE your reviews. 😂 They're hysterical, and so true.

[@gracekim1998]

Nah it’s ok🙂

[@inklie]

I'm so glad Kristen Stewart found her actual calling in acting: turbo lesbian romance She's so fantastic now

[@anarchomando7707]

And Robert Pattinson beingwerid

[@fightingmedialounge519]

I wouldn't say fantastic.

[@leahscontemporary]

Don't pretend you actually care about these people

[@anarchomando7707]

@@leahscontemporary I care like I care about fictional characters Pretty useless once I get into the real world but their amusing nonetheless

[@wannabehistorian371]

@@leahscontemporary The joke flew over your head.

[@jakelibiran8411]

Either Krimson or his editor is a fan of Fate’s OST, either way I dig it.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Credit goes to Kishti for editing that in.

[@whiteraven562]

time stamp?

[@kurint8350]

@@whiteraven562 Right around 2 minutes, but there's honestly a lot.

[@wannabehistorian371]

Huh, I didn’t notice.

[@spiderlily723]

TBF there was a bit of foreshadowing (more in the movie I think) that Volturi KNOW about the new army but are chosing to do nothing. How it's supposed to make Cullen family more likely to join them, which is the given reason, I have no idea.

[@gracekim1998]

😅ok that does seem confusing

[@spiderlily723]

@@gracekim1998 I think it was supposed to be 'Volturi want Cullens to feel unsafe so they would join them so they're letting Victoria attack the'. Except of course it was butchered - cause why would they join Volturi if they KNOW they would let innocents be turned and die for months on end for their own gain?

[@noelbernabe8704]

I think the idea is that Edward, Alice and Bella would never join the Volturi as long as the Cullens were an option. But they wouldn't necessarily remain in the Cullen coven if there was no Cullen coven to remain in. So if a few were killed off, MAYBE they might disband and MAYBE they might join the Volturi instead. But obviously that's a long shot.

[@PidgeyHowler]

You know, the character assassination of Jacob that progressively occurred between these movies always bothered me. If you have to literally destroy anything good about a character that exists in a love triangle to push people in the direction of your preferred pairing, it just shows why your preferred pairing is unrealistic. Before what little existed of Jacob's character was driven into the ground, he had the more realistic relationship with Bella. He tried harder. He was more interested in her. But I guess the book wouldn't have been exciting - in Meyer's eyes - if Bella couldn't become a magical creature at the end.

[@noelbernabe8704]

I think what some call character assasination was simply Jacaob becoming a werewolf. We saw him become a jerk right before our eyes when he threatened to put Mike in the hospital in New Moon. The story doe establish that wolves have trouble controlling their emotions. Becoming a wolf changed him. But as far as Jacob goes.. did anyone watch or read New Moon and really think he had a chance? Obviously she was going to pick Edward. They wouldn't have spent the entire first book building up that relationship only to have the main female character drop him for a side character who was in like 2 scenes from the first story. Jacob was just thrown in there to create some drama until the story was ready for Bella and Edward to be together. Ultimately it was wish fullfilment for Bella. Almost a princess fanasty hidden under a horror movie, where in the end Bella lives happily ever after as a powerful immortal with the love of her life and his uber rich and powerful family.

[@CoolG97]

As someone raised and living in Florida I can say that despite being known as the Sunshine State our weather varies wildly throughout the day. (30 to 80, sunny to stormy to sunny all within the same day) Although it's not uncommon for the sun to be shining during a downpour.

[@isdrakon9802]

Hell just in the past week we went from summer weather back to winter. Also don't forget the two or three days in a row where there is no sun because the clouds completely cover the sky

[@CoolG97]

​@@isdrakon9802 Deciding what to wear is always a gamble. What do I want to be possibly dying from later, Heat Stroke or Hypothermia? and never leave the house without an umbrella.

[@gracekim1998]

Yeah makes sense like how we usually get rain where I am but sometimes we’re lucky enough to get hot weather in the summer

[@cjparsons9730]

Arizona should be known as the Sunshine State.

[@CoolG97]

@@cjparsons9730 Arizona has enough nicknames, also their sun doesn't so much shine as it glares.

[@thefruitsong]

If you want to REALLY rage at the world building (or lack thereof). You should check out the illustrated guide for twilight. It was released in the sputtering final gasps of Twilight's life, and it shows.

[@gracekim1998]

Hold on there’s a guide book?

[@thefruitsong]

@@gracekim1998 yep! The "illustrations" are mostly from the manga, but with a few added pictures. It included bios, facts, quotes, and of course, pictures. (If they had appeared in the manga). I think the exceptions were reneesme and vampire Bella.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

Hold on there's a manga?

[@righteouself9928]

@@maxthepaladin2147 i googled it because I thought maybe he was being weird and calling comics mangas but nope. There is a full on visual novel(aka big boy manga) for twillight. I think im worse of in life fir that knowledge

[@logamuffin3876]

Car isn’t starting Me: immediate flashbacks to empress theresa

[@corruptangel6793]

Opened KZbin and your video was front and center. Perfect length for my bus ride to work too

[@SpiritKitten]

as a native Floridian, you do have to be a little crazy to live here, and work here, and well just exist here...:P

[@Megatron_95]

And yet, Florida has the best Florida men and women stories

[@SpiritKitten]

@@Megatron_95 you never know what people will do here! It’s always a surprise!❤️

[@captainobvious9526]

Good on Robert from going from a bat in Twilight to The Bat in The Batman.

[@brodiecrain13]

I've been looking forward to this but my expectations are high, raised to extreme heights after the brilliant Cujo review

[@dg674]

I fell in love with the Divine Comedy. When I changed my name, Dante felt natural and joyful.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Dante is an awesome name!

[@anarchomando7707]

@@KrimsonRogue DMC 5 is the Best

[@pikaforce64]

The DDLC music at the start set off my fight or flight

[@oldman5247]

At with the movies, there were moments at the very least. That were unintentionally hilarious, and could be easy targets of bad movies to make fun off. Considering how you described the books, I don't how you could get through these books.

[@aanylagrant8482]

“With age comes wisdom” -Oscar Wilde This however is not the case with Edward

[@bigchungusstarscream7319]

LMAO YEAH

[@frostyenderman13]

Ah flashback to 2011 me with absolutely zero interest in Twilight being pestered about the Team Edward/Jacob debate. Barring the character assassination, having a dark skinned guy who can turn into a RIDEABLE WOLF is an obvious choice!!!

[@Oliviagarry69420]

Honestly though 10 year old me is lowkey like that

[@justin2308]

25:37 I absolutely did look that up because I was thinking, “There’s no way.” There is, in fact, a way.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

You know it's gonna be a good one when he starts by waxing philosophical!

[@owlyellie4051]

So glad you're back Krim! Your videos are getting me through this pandemic

[@fiery_scream]

Even during a (so far) year long pandemic, Krimson's hair and analytical roast skills remain immaculate. We stan Book Jesus. Great vid as always! :)

[@maggiesheartlove2734]

Fun fact: my best friend used to go crazy for this series! She owned the entire collection. She tried getting me into it but I never could. I was never attracted to the nonchalant bad boy tween girl fantasy trope. Still not. (Why can’t funny, quirky guys ever be the main love interest, huh?). When we got older and I asked her about it... she basically had the same reaction Elsa did in Frozen 2 when she saw her “Let it go” self. 🤣 I’m just happy she finally broke free from the Twilight hold! Praise The Lord!! 🙏

[@gracekim1998]

I see🙂

[@Moony1568]

People grow up and grow out of their interests.

[@raptorkvn]

So I made fun of Twilight when it first came out. Like, a lot of general things based on the premise mostly. And this lady I worked with was like "you can't make fun of it without reading it", so I got them one at a time from Ed McKay's, that's the local used bookstore for me. And when I went to get the third one, there was this lady walking in with the book and I jokingly said to her "Oh that's what I'm here for" and we went our separate ways in the store. But then she found me over at the Twilight books and she handed it to me "Here you can have it" and she walked off. So I knew I must be in for a treat if she didn't even want the store credit for this book. Anyway, this is the worst book to me too and the movie was the worst movie. And reading and watching all of them gave me more to make fun of which the lady at work was not happy to hear hahaha!

[@fyr3098]

Thought you’d like to hear right about now that your work brightens my day and you did an amazing job with this video. Reviewing twilight is a real testament to your love of the craft. (Also the discord link says it’s invalid, thought you should know)

[@AutisticAccountant]

I wonder how embarrassed George R. R. Martin is that the movie opened with an excerpt from one of his works.

[@simonesalvatore9345]

Robert Frost, but still.

[@Neseine]

@@simonesalvatore9345 ice and a fire, it's a reference for a song of ice and fire

[@Teh8Swords]

Yeah because he invented ice and fire dynamics. Come on now

[@boomsoulless6140]

“This book is much worse than new moon” Ouch

[@lindala2602]

I always thank God for used book stores, especially the charety shops.

[@Grim_Sister]

Can we just appreciate how they’ve manage to bring to life a 1:1 Ken Doll for this series? Carlisle almost looks like a real boy!

[@thisguyyoudontknow4653]

The hospital bed on fire thing is real, it's just something that happened in Albania not Florida.

[@TheAnonyomusGuy]

The scene with Bella visiting her mom I couldn't put my finger on why I was feeling deja vu over that scene and how she talks about her and Edward's relationship until I remember Dominic nobles video about fifty shades darker in which pretty much the same event takes place and mind you fifty shades was a fanfiction of this

[@paranoidlizard6338]

Sara Z does a really good job of expressing that a lot of the original criticism of twilight came from a place of teenage girls being made fun of for absolutely anything they can have an interest in, and i feel like this video does a good job of critiquing the faults without falling into that pattern

[@jkseraphim4]

So glad to see a new review!

[@PhantomBones101]

Looking forward to the rest of your analysis.

[@henryisthere]

Krimson, I love your reviews. I can just feel your love of literature. You give excellent suggestions and give praise where it’s due. I also love how researched and well-reasoned everything is. You edit in awesome clips and really get to the heart of the matter. Keep it up!

[@cathalhughes5996]

I wanna know how ed got away with being in brazil in new moon somewhere just as sunny as florida for what must have been alot longer.

[@kimawhitehawkjordan7714]

Oh and the pasta thing, its actually kinda true you can fuck it up. Iv seen it with my own dad. Lol 😆

[@Moonliightartist]

Nice use of Somnium Files music!!

[@Megatron_95]

25:08 that is by far my favorite joke from this entire review

[@viridityone3106]

I think 25:29 is even better

[@Samppaol1987]

Good to see you are still among the living.

[@thegreatstoneddragon9432]

Can't say the same for the characters in this book/movie.

[@robbiehughes8382]

time for the best five parter since Green With Evil

[@andrewb6194]

Took me a moment to figure out the reference!

[@SkyHighGuys]

I’ve missed your videos my friend! You always are one of the best KZbinrs out there! Keep up the good work.

[@chickknightgreenleaf820]

nearly 30 minutes for 15 minutes of the movie. oh boy, I should start stock up popcorn

[@PapaNierForReplicant]

8:44 Holy crud that's AI: The Somnium Files OST in the background, you sir truly are a cultured individual

[@caoimhepower395]

Yeeeeesss! I love your videos. I always thought Eclipse was the worst book in the series- granted, Breaking Dawn is more problematic, but Eclipse is very boring (and also problematic). The only good part was (Rosalie? Rosemary?Rosaline?)'s backstory (it was way more compelling than the main plot of any of the Twilight books.)

[@KrimsonRogue]

I have a nice rant prepared for Rosalie's backstory in Part 3. It had potential, but it's usage was contradictory to the message she was trying to give at the time.

[@spiderlily723]

@@KrimsonRogue Please tell me you go into how historically screwed up it is. xD

[@l.tc.5032]

@@KrimsonRogue all I have to say about Rose's backs story is cue "R*pe Me" by Nirvana. (And also when Jacob forces his tongue down Bella's throat twice, first completely without her consent and then guilting her into it by threatening suicide.)

[@rubysclera9021]

25:35 ...I'mfrom Florida...I have never felt more called out in my life! ❤

[@AnarchoCatBoyEthan]

These videos are exceptionally well edited.

[@zaramikazuki8374]

Oh my goodness. You're back. I just finished your Twilight and New Moon reviews, and figured that you'd be likely to hit Eclipse and Breaking Dawn at some point, but this soon. Oh boy, good luck dude...

[@monicadepaul6223]

I live in Jacksonville, FL, which is where Bella and Edward visit. It's not always sunny here since we get tons of rain, but it's clearly not raining when they visit in the movie, so yeah, there's no explanation for why Edward doesn't sparkle.

[@owenprior7106]

Could the Ice(hatred) part of the Ice and Fire poem be in reference to Edward's hatred of his vampirism and the idea of turning Bella into one as well? We all remember how melodramatic he was when he revealed his true nature to Bella. Not to mention the "world's" hatred of her of it was ever revealed what she would be. I'm not trying to defend Meyer's poor writing skills, but I figured that you shouldn't be alone in analyzing this book Krim, despite the sanity it will cost me.

[@maggie1711]

The part where you were talking about how possessive and creepy Edward is, reminded me of the scene in the new book Midnight Sun where he talks about using WD40 on Bella's bedroom window when he would sneak in at night to make sure it wouldn't squeak. Like what the hell... That is not normal. Very creepy, stalker like behaviour.

[@generalgrievous2202]

N-new book? The series is ongoing? Oh god, i hope there wont be any new movies.

[@maggie1711]

@@generalgrievous2202 Yes, unfortunately. There is a new book that came out a few months ago now, It's called Midnight Sun and it is basically Twilight told from Edwards perspective. I read it out of curiosity and man is Edward a creep. What makes it worse is how the author tries to justify his creepy behaviour from prior books in this book as well as say that since he's a vampire, and he isn't actually human his behaviour should be considered more acceptable...

[@CapnFool002]

THE DDLC MUSIC IN THE INTRO! YOOOOOOOO (It's called My Confession)

[@Scheherazade-pr4jt]

Now I really, really want a scene of Edward in Phoenix strategically hopping from cloud cover to cloud cover 😭😭 I feel like it could be that one scene that would make this entire series worth it

[@victoriashevlin8587]

Well, I never heard of the Harvard Lampoon parody, but I paused the video and ordered it. I'm looking forward to the sass...😆

[@barbarahumphreys4887]

Yay! Another one! 🎉 I got tricked into reading this series while recovering from surgery. I was so angry with New Moon that i threw it across the room in a fit of frustration. By this book i was just along for the ride and taking it as a joke.

[@silversailor5950]

Did... Did I hear some AI the Somnium Files music in there? Anyway, I really like your analysis!

[@AnarchoCatBoyEthan]

Very good series, I love the points you make about a series that I honestly really like. I think it's shit, but sometimes we like shit huh. I'm a sucker for vamps, no matter how badly they're written.

[@KrimsonRogue]

Eh, we all have our guilty pleasures. The Room is one of my favorite movies and it is objectively a disaster of a film.

[@celestialgloam7439]

Those 15 seconds of "my confession" from DDLC at the start.

[@veronicapauli8470]

Okay that's definitely AI: The Somnium Files music :D

[@theinsaneone_]

THATS WHERE ITS FROM!!! Thanks man! I was wondering where I'd heard the music from

[@JohnDoe-uf3lj]

Underrated game, happy to see it get noticed.

[@zaramikazuki8374]

Whew, I knew that someone would notice it and mention it! I love AI Somnium and all of Uchikoshi's VNs, especially Zero Escape! I also have to add... the use of the Annihilation Ending music when Krimson was talking about Edward's abuse... fit so terrifyingly well. The slightly off-kilter music that embodies the psychotic villain of AI at hand (obviously, you know you I'm referring to).

[@lahlybird895]

I actually CAN tell you about the differences between Angela and Jessica. And I don't even like the series. But then again I still remember the name and hair color of the waitress who served edward and Bella after bella's shopping trip disaster. And I haven't read that book in years.

[@alexanderton5384]

Wish KZbin would let me know about your stuff sooner. Post whenever you can man I'll get there eventually lol

[@corncrackerkid5092]

I still can’t believe I was absolutely obsessed with this in the eighth grade because I hate this with a burning passion now as a grown woman

[@zaramikazuki8374]

Hey don't be so hard on yourself. I myself was 16 when the books came out and while I did dislike the series immensely at the time, I could also see how easily my classmates and friends got sucked in. It just has this strange... appeal - I think it is the appeal of this supposedly average girl with nothing special in her life getting the attention of this stupidly hot guy and getting pulled into supernatural shenanigans. While this particular execution of it was terrible, the premise was one I could sympathize with easily. It's an escapist fantasy for a typically underserved audience (teen girls), and it resonated really well. And besides, most of the fans I remember from back then now either actively hate or ignore the book, or are part of the ironic Twilight Renaissance, taking part in writing fix-it fics (some of which are damn good, tbh), alternate universes and ships, addressing and correcting flaws left and write, and openly acknowledging that the source material sucked. As long as you see the series for what it is now, don't be so hard on yourself for the past. We all do stupid shit, really.

[@oddeyes9413]

Today 04/04 is my birthday. It's kinda sucked honestly, but this made me feel a bit better. Thanks for uploading, we've missed you!

[@katherinealvarez9216]

14:07 So nightlight is actually good, and not like Vampire Suck? Because, honestly the thing that's worse than an unfunny parody is an unfunny parody that is very mean spirited. Even in the height of my Twilight Hatred days, I really did not like that movie because of that.