the WORST MOVIE you've NEVER SEEN - The Astrologer (1976)

On this episode of Weird Movies With Mark, I talk about The Astrologer (1976)
www.pastemagazine.com/movies/...
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Credits Music by: OVERWERK

[@FanboyFlicks]

Unfortunately, the movie was taken down from KZbin so that's why there's no link in the description. if it comes back, I will update

[@Taripdk1]

I was just looking forward to seeing it, now I have to settle for an Indiana Jones movie!

[@gregsvlogshow]

yes because they figured out that they can put this movie behind a pay wall and make tens of dollars.

[@mrskip6811]

Ugh. Definitely going to have to find this somehow.

[@SimGunther]

It's like they knew you were doing a review and wanted to wash its hands clean of its exposure

[@entertainmentpowerfuchs5744]

FanboyFlicks: The worst Movie of all Time are Cool Cat Saves the Kids because all of Derek Savage Projects are terrible. His Movies are worse than M Night Shyamalan and Uwe Boll Movies!

[@riflebone]

Growing up in the 70's I was led to believe that quicksand would a much bigger problem in my life than it really was.

[@sionbarzad5371]

hahahaha same!!!

[@DocM.]

Comedian John Mulaney has a hilarious joke about this! 😂

[@ThrottleAddiction]

Yeah and native South Americans would shoot you with a poison dart, without question or warning.

[@chudleyflusher7132]

Agreed! 😂

[@RuminatingWizard]

Copy and paste only makes you look stupid.

[@12345.......]

Neil Breen approves the quality of this film.

[@FreihEitner]

I was going to say, what if he faked his death and became Neil Breen... but as with 99.99% of people--both living and dead--he's actually a better actor than Breen.

[@JustSomeDinosaurPerson]

@@FreihEitner Don't you ever diss the Breen like that again. No one. NO ONE is a better actor than Neil Breen, especially not this nobody who is nowhere near as accomplished or narcissistic.

[@jesusisunstoppable4438]

@@JustSomeDinosaurPerson LoL Agreed --

[@FreihEitner]

@@JustSomeDinosaurPerson I will give Breen credit for doing what he wants. Lots of us say we're going to write a novel, become a movie star, whatever--he actually did it and I applaud him for that.

[@colonless7512]

I can’t help you out of this one Craig

[@soyburglar1878]

I love the bamboo “Kenya Police” sign...as if there’s just one police department for the entire African country of Kenya.

[@andrewgwilliam4831]

Most countries have a national police force, and it's not completely improbable that Kenya's version would be called "Kenya Police". The likelihood of a Kenyan police station sign being made of bamboo, and it being staffed by White guys, though, seems rather slight...

[@Hiihtopipa]

I would believe that

[@Hiihtopipa]

@@andrewgwilliam4831 Finland has this

[@Hiihtopipa]

@@andrewgwilliam4831 they are just called police

[@soodanimdraws357]

@@Hiihtopipa No - sometimes not. Our whole Police force are called _____ (our country) Police. It happens a lot when you’re whole country is one place and not a bunch of states that call each other commies and idiots.

[@deletedwaffles]

"The Astrologer aired on Television on CBS back in the early 1980s, shortly before Craig Denney mysteriously “passed away”. It is unknown when exactly Denny died and where his body is located. Various sources allege that Denny may have staged his own death to avoid paying taxes to the IRS. His death remains a mystery." Bruh.

[@daxmiller35]

2:32 say “priceless” again, douche

[@ravenlord4]

His wife in the movie (with whom he repeatedly makes out) was apparently his real life cousin. I guess this solves the mystery of why he really made this film.

[@imthebestthingsinceslicedr5400]

That some Jerry Springer sht ryt there!

[@smallies7154]

he from Shelbyville?

[@lucri988]

I know a George Micheal Bluth would be proud

[@MyCatInABox]

@@smallies7154 Ha! 🤣😅

[@redwolfe7049]

@@smallies7154 dammit. You beat me to it lol.

[@gregsvlogshow]

Movie making tip #1: If you're the star of your own movie and you're shlubby looking, don't put yourself in a scene where you are in a police lineup with no shirt on with people who are in better physical shape than you. LOL

[@shia_labeouf]

Seems to be part of the delusion these ego-project filmmakers have. Neil Breen does the same thing. We don't want to see your balls Neil.

[@JamesBuggemo]

I remember where I was the first time I saw Neil's balls like my parents remember where they were when JFK was assassinated.

[@ro4eva]

@@JamesBuggemo -- That definitely sounds like it was a traumatic experience, but at least you didn't fall into an orbit around them.

[@CamLewis1]

Did you happen to notice there are no Kenyans, in that Kenyan Police line up?

[@deletedwaffles]

@@shia_labeouf I was going to say at least Tommy Wiseau was in shape but then you look at his face.

[@_SimpleJack_]

An astrology movie within an astrology movie, eat your heart out Chris Nolan!

[@Random_Tangent]

This movie should have been about an Astrologer who made $4m then made a movie about himself because he predicted that it would make $175m at the box office, but instead he ends up losing it all. oh... wait...

[@thediplomasta5891]

Policy academy made 100 million. This movie-in-movie was apparently almost twice as good as that. 🤣

[@camarossdriver]

Works at a carnival..gets married...gets divorced...steals diamonds...gets caught...goes to jail...we've all been there,RIGHT?

[@lordkrythic6246]

If I had a nickel for every time...

[@camarossdriver]

@@lordkrythic6246 HAHAHAHA!!!!

[@camarossdriver]

@@lordkrythic6246 Ain't that the truth.

[@fcsuper]

No need to rehash the details of what we've all experienced.

[@benhislop1458]

I just got out of that cycle, kinda makes me miss the carnival

[@jaws5dog]

Yes Mark....this movie IS the movie of how he came up with THIS movie. So strap yourself in buddy....because youve just been MIND TRAPPED !!!!!!!!

[@ro4eva]

"WHOA!" -- Keanu Reeves

[@guida-walker-channel]

One of the best things about Mark's reviews is that, even though he makes fun of all these bad and weird movies (which is of course the main attraction of this channel), he also takes the time to praise and appreciate any technical or artistic aspects that are well done or that show there is some actual talent among the disaster. That's really interesting and even endearing because it shows respect for many of the creators involved; most bad film critics on YT only care about mocking the movies and are usually dismissive and sometimes even nasty, which is always a turn-off (for me, anyway).

[@geraldfriend256]

Oh hi Mark

[@matthew6173]

You're stunning

[@joannetiu471]

I appreciate this comment

[@alexs7670]

Thats the thing with good, bad movies; there's usually something to genuinely like about. I think in most cases it's just that the scope is too big. Like if the guy who made this movie just invested in a more humble but likely to succeed movie he would have done fine.

[@lobsterwhisperer7932]

its a great channel and should have more subscribers

[@zbh9268]

"Just because they're psychic doesn't mean they're smart." - Bardock , TFS

[@MrJohndoakes]

But he didn't say he was psychic, just an astrologer. The movie is insane either way.

[@planetschlock]

I like to believe that there's a 16+ hour version of this movie that details all the stuff this movie glossed over with narrative shorthand. #ReleaseTheDenneyCut

[@Trollificusv2]

@Patrick Whelpley I'll wait for the documentary: "Making The Astrologer", which is about a man making a documentary about a single subplot in a bad movie, which is titled "The Astrologer".

[@kanton4108]

Peter Jackson accepts this challenge

[@jordanbridges]

"This is the 30 minute poop due to bad chilaquiles."

[@darrelsam419]

The strange thing about this movie is that it ended with the main character villainized and doesn't have a happy ending, usually ego-stroke movies have a happy ending where the main character is super rich and successful.

[@viperwithasniper6272]

Yeah. This movie is probably just trying to be different and edgy

[@stormryder4305]

It already has the climax way ahead of it's ending. He should have ended it much earlier. But his super ego get the best of him...so the anti climax and the ending make sense. He scammed his "success" anyway. It's not likely he's going to get away with it.

[@andymackie8283]

The Room only has a happy ending if you're not Tommy Wiseau.

[@Xorxfon]

@@andymackie8283 or Lisa...

[@jrjubach]

i love how the dude yells "DON'T KILL ME!"

[@tylerlacor8116]

Believe it or not, weirdly the Victorians were REALLY into having picnics in graveyards.

[@themoviedealers]

Not a lot of public parks then.

[@YawehthedragondogofEL]

It's an Epicurean thing.

[@SirWussiePants]

Not only the Victorians. This was a tradition going all the way up into 50s and 60s

[@PiktcVelns]

Huh.. well I guess I'll Google the nearest one and go there with a tent.. at least I won't be so lonely xD

[@whoputyouontheplanet3345]

My family does this still.

[@TheLM281]

He even looks like a younger close relative of Breen. IT'S ALL CONNECTED WWWWOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

[@kiddhkane]

That's deep

[@papersack4290]

Lmao

[@igitha..._]

or Matt Berry

[@DinnerBells]

Plot twist: it IS Breen (before the name change/plastic surgery).

[@Cesly-mo3uf]

Ummm. That is Breen. He faked his death remember?

[@Knobs4u]

I Got to 8 minutes thinking the video was almost over, he is on the voyage home, moved my mouse saw this isn't even half of the movie, and realized what mark went through lmao. poor guy.-

[@bigbearkat2010]

Right? He said they were only 20 minutes in and I was like "wait, what?"

[@linusfotograf]

@@bigbearkat2010 Exactly! There’s material for 5 movies in there.

[@adiahaalexander9359]

Honestly, especially by the end, it started sounding like fanfiction. "And then the movie made almost a billion dollars!!" Hahahahahaaaaaa

[@jimmym3352]

Though didn't Jaws make that much? I don't know the exact numbers, I'd have to look it up. Of course Jaws is a slightly better movie.

[@fangal12]

@@jimmym3352 just slightly 😂

[@levacfamily3177]

Every time there’s a new Fanboy Flicks, my day is immediately made better. Thanks Mark.

[@onetuffspector4424]

Exactly!

[@Borisam]

True!!!

[@daniel_wambugu]

Amen

[@dontbendthekneetomarxists7513]

Curb your fanboy

[@DaddyFatty]

I did not hit her! I did not. Oh hi Mark

[@MisterBrimm]

It never ceases to amaze me, no matter how many of these terrible movies I am made aware of, there is always more, an endless supply. Which is - of course - good for Mark's line of work.

[@onometre]

this is my favorite bad movie channel because he does these deep cuts, not just doing the most famous bad movies.

[@joeanthony7759]

Work?

[@iIliterati]

The most surprising part of this to me, is the cinematography and blocking/shot set-ups are actually really competently done. Specifically for the time. Usually, in the 70s, these independent films had directors that didn't understand anything about directing. But this has well framed shots, lit correctly, and moving frames that are appropriate to the scene. He seems as though he could have been an at least competent director. That or his director of photography held his hand through it, ala Greg Toland with Citizen Kane.

[@Paul-qe1jn]

Craig should've been just a producer. Edit: alright I just read some comments and he's super weird. Good he went this way and failed.

[@jimmym3352]

Certainly much better cinematography than Manos: Hands of Fate. The money went to something. With a decent story and maybe less ego of wanting to implement his own, maybe he could have done something.

[@jamesmaysflyingwashingmach7459]

I’m glad you said that, because throughout this review I was thinking “y’know, this movie doesn’t LOOK half bad” lol

[@sargonsblackgrandfather2072]

It’s not terrible agreed but the fact that he keeps centring characters right in the middle of the frame is an amateur giveaway

[@treyliles117]

I love the smug look on Craig's face at 22:08 when he is asked about killing Darian's boyfriend.

[@anthonybartram8406]

Yes 😂

[@WeirdWonderful]

You'd think taking two extremely rich people into the jungle and leaving them dead would be part of an ingenious plan to seize their fortune. But no, that'd be actually interesting.

[@thediplomasta5891]

Also they weren't rich enough to hire any henchmen, while they're out in a dangerous environment, in a foreign country.

[@twarnold14]

Bold choice to have your ego stroking movie end with a martyr’s death where no one is sad. At least The Room has a cringe scene where everyone one cries.

[@JerryD9000]

I thought the EXACT same thing about the ending. Kind of a weird ego stroke there.

[@-..-_-..-]

yeah i almost feel like it wasnt an ego stroke but his attempt at some tragic character study that feels like an ego stroke partly by intention and partly just bc he's playing the lead and he and the lead share a name, like, ok: its about a hack fraud without talent who due to his conmannery gets a lot of people killed in addition to murdering a guy after which he becomes rich and makes an ego trip movie about how cool he is that really just shows off what an asshole conman he is, then his life falls apart and he dies hated by everyone. if the director weren't the star nobody would ever call it an ego project. it still seems like a pile of shit but i can at least understand the concept, or i can weasel an unintended concept around the larger plot points, idk like mark says a number of times that he should have seen this or that coming but it feels to me (based only on what's in the video) that that's largely the point. he's a fraud. mark says he is talented at everything but from what he shows in the video it just feels like he blunders into horribly dangerous situations that endanger and destroy those around him, leaving him standing and enriched. fate blatantly intervenes and kills the cop that was chasing him at literally the exact moment he gets himself caught and he has literally nothing to do with it. he's starts the movie a lying thief, the stars reward him with prosperity and he begins to believe in his own powers when he's valorized by the plot, his stars change and the forces of the plot come down upon him when he tries doing the same shit he did to succeed earlier in the movie (killing his wife's lover) bc his success wasnt truly a function of his personal qualities as he'd deluded himself into believing but rather of the ebbs and flows of fortune *in spite* of his personal qualities. this all comes together to feel like a critique of those who find themselves in positions of success and prestige and power and then look around and explain to themselves and everyone around them what it is that makes them so successful and special. he's far from the only example but think about donald trump having books ghostwritten or giving speeches and interviews where he explains how special and genius he is and why he got to be a multimillionaire while all around him there was suffering. the truth of the matter is that those at the top of the mountain very often *did* just fall there, and absent their very own personal sisyphus (represented in the movie by the fact that the first half of the movie is craig getting to tell his own story looking back from the very height of his success) pushing them toward the summit they'd have rolled back down just like the rest of us. idk possible im reading into it entirely too far as someone who hasnt even seen the thing but there's *something* interesting here that could have been wrestled into a coherent movie. either way it was obviously made as poorly as one could ever possibly imagine. idk like i said these are just a pile of incomplete stream of consciousness thoughts based on what's in the vid,, it definitely doesn't feel like craig the filmmaker is trying to valorize craig the character though, it feels like he's making a metacritique of vanity projects in general and just failing at it idk

[@-..-_-..-]

@@makeitthrough_ lmfaooo i forgot about this shit, tbf i was heavily drunk so i didnt even bother whittling the rambling down but i stand by everything i said, i think someone with vision could redo this with lots of changes into a legitimately great movie. it'd just take trimming, neater execution of the ideas, and more obvious self-awareness

[@NewOrderOfAlexandria]

In two years we'll be living like kings and Queens. Two years later, and we weren't living like Kings and Queens.

[@NewOrderOfAlexandria]

@@BaranoffIsaac lmao this abrupt editing should be a meme though

[@BlueLiminality]

It sounds like something from the Arrested Development narrator.

[@moebetta4224]

Why are "kings and queens" plural in this context?

[@-..-_-..-]

@@moebetta4224 either he is two kings and she is two queens or each of them is both a king and a queen, what exactly are you missing

[@mikabreto]

@@moebetta4224 Living like royalty would have been a more succinct way to phrase it, but if you extrapolate who is referenced in the term ‘royalty’, the phrase is correct in using the plural.

[@soyburglar1878]

It perplexes me how the director of this film (and other terrible films) watched the final product and was like, “Yeah, this is a good representation of my abilities as an actor, writer, producer, director”.

[@thishominid871]

Having a picnic in a cemetery is the only normal thing that I've seen so far in this.

[@kupariusa4202]

The Seto people of Estonia have picnics at the graves of their loved ones as a sign of respect and to let the departed know they are not forgotten.

[@robbylebotha]

Given how many people have existed before us, we probably live, eat, work and picnic on graves more than we think. 🤗

[@skylx0812]

It was done here in the states in the early 1900s. They were well kept and the middle class used them as parks.

[@rudeboyjohn3483]

@@robbylebotha *American here, staring into the vast void*

[@robbylebotha]

@@rudeboyjohn3483 you're probably sitting on a dinosaur mate 🤣

[@PerpetratorOfTruth]

He didn't die in the 80s. He just changed his name to Billy Zane.

[@wolfpac1970]

ROTFLMAO....I was thinking he looked like Billy Zane too.

[@AvengerII]

@@wolfpac1970 I thought he looked more like Mark Ruffalo. I can at least stand Billy Zane! I don't like Ruffalo, period...

[@bignumber59]

@@AvengerII Throwing Bill Paxton's name into the ring here.

[@victorfortunato]

I'm going to said Brad Davis

[@seerofallthatisobvious1316]

Sorry but you're all wrong, the correct answer is George Hamilton, we were looking for George Hamilton.

[@deadseamonster]

I think I saw Rich Evans holding a balloon in the amusement park scene.

[@xnsimmonsx]

That police sign was hilarious.

[@carlosencarnacion1255]

It just needed some macrame accents.

[@grapeshot]

After she kills the guy then the Wonderful World of Disney music kicks in.

[@xecutionerflow2504]

“Don’t kill me!” Bang! 😂🤣😭

[@warnerd79]

"I was gonna get a professional but I thought no, I remember the way that you turned 5 dollars into 25 dollars back at the carnival. And I was like thats my guy." LMAO!!!!

[@donkrouskop1743]

Mark, I can't put into words how much joy it brings me when part of a movie is so bad that you don't even bother to come up with a joke. "We don't need three and a half minutes of this shit!" made me so happy I almost cried.

[@FanboyFlicks]

Moments like that are when I just let the real frustration that's been built up from watching the mvie multiple times, come through

[@AllanM444]

i laughed so hard when you were like "wow... that's deep..."

[@ridingnerdy6406]

Fun fact, cemeteries WERE popular picnic spots back in the day. Although I believe it had fallen out of practice by the 70's.

[@mgratk]

I think they still have events at that famous LA cemetery, is it Fairlawn or something? Not sure I recall the name correctly. It's like movie nights or concerts or something. I'm sure I've seen youtube videos of at least one such event. Weird.

[@IsmailofeRegime]

Also, to be fair to a film that does not deserve fairness, if it's about some New Age astrologer guy it'd make sense to do something "weird" and archaic like picnic at a cemetery.

[@animaldrew2279]

Welcome back TO! the show. Never gets old. Also this movie is bonkers. I can imagine a young Neil Breen being blown away by the editing and thinking, “what if I just did away with cinematography and just used stock footage? I’d save HUNDREDS.”

[@MayorGoldieWilson825]

What happened to your shirt?

[@Shadeogray1113]

This is a true story: much like Birdemic, The Room, Sharknado... Tim Allen's Santa Clause?

[@rolmodel12.]

Wait! Are yooou saying, you DON'T believe in The Santa Clause?! 😱

[@Lost_In_Neverwhere]

Honestly I would rather watch every Neil Breen movie over and over again than this awful mess. Neil's movies are at least funny xD Great video as always, Mark!

[@Gunngirl]

Oh, that would still be torture. I tried to watch one of Breen’s movies and….😓😬 I couldn’t do it lol. I can only watch reviews where it’s edited.

[@tamaramanheim8831]

I agree.

[@-Trauma.]

YOU HAVE NO VALUE...ON THE STREETS!

[@Unethical.Dodgson]

@@Gunngirl Suppose it depends on which you watch. I enjoyed some of his movies... unironically even but then I watched... Twisted Pair. Not a great experience. Fell asleep.

[@lilacsunshine3044]

Neil Breen, The ki ng of bad movies,.He has my respect,

[@Malum09]

Movies directed and starring the same guy are always a goldmine of “what the hell were they thinking?”

[@thediplomasta5891]

It's exposure. They hang around in movie town with all these other movie makers that make it look so easy. Little do they know that the successful have already made a deal for their success. And it has nothing to do with skill or anything else.

[@Fatamorgana420]

The 'Kenya Police' sign made of bamboo is glorious. Must suck to live there, though, being that there's only 1 police station for the entire country.

[@cancer4cure483]

You know there is a fan theory that Tommy Wiseau is actually a vampire. Well, I've got a theory about this movie too - it came from parallel dimension where all this things are actually happened. Also Craig didn't die, he came back where he came from.

[@imthebestthingsinceslicedr5400]

For me the room seems to be the prequel to the matrix where Johnny found out that the world he lives in is a lie and that Lisa is actually an agent. How I came to the conclusion? The picture of the spoons and when Johhnny said. Im fed up with this world then blam!

[@cancer4cure483]

@@imthebestthingsinceslicedr5400 That's a good one.

[@lonecycle4849]

"But Craig says he's staying there. After all, he just talked to a woman for five minutes." Look, I'm not saying I get it, but, well, you know how it is sometimes.

[@guybrush1701]

I'm going through a divorce rn. And being essentially single for the past 2 years, I feel this.

[@Cesly-mo3uf]

She had that Linda Carter vibe going. So I get it.

[@m.w.6604]

I listen to these when I go to bed. Its like Mark is telling me a weird bedtime story.

[@GetAwesomeGaming]

to be fair people used to routinely have picnics in cemeteries....granted that time was long before the 70's lol

[@raam726]

Are you serious?

[@GetAwesomeGaming]

@@raam726 yes actually, although it was a long time ago before public parks were developed. Back in the horse drawn days a cemetery was one of the few public out door spaces that was maintained well enough for people to have picnics and such

[@Goreratten]

@@raam726 Usualy it was of the family gathering kind, so the picnic part is just part of the sunday visit of x grave with. maintenance and not the Netflix and chill aka bring a date to a grave.... well i guess some did >.> and still do.

[@sledzeppelin]

For another truly jaw-dropping narcissistic filmsturbation project, see The Trial Of Billy Jack.

[@MrJohndoakes]

That was a sequel, the one afterward ("Billy Jack Goes to Washington") is more mind-boggling.

[@sledzeppelin]

@@MrJohndoakes Does he film is real-life wife and daughter being assaulted and/or murdered like in the other two?

[@dflatt1783]

19:23 That Milk of Magnesia will do that to you sometimes when it gets ahold of you. I stay away.

[@MyCatInABox]

I'm 3 years clean of the Devil's Milk, myself. ...And I continue to go to my meetings... "Milk of Magnesia- We don't need ya!"

[@dflatt1783]

@@MyCatInABox 'Devil's Milk' 🤣🤣🤣

[@Chilling_Charizard]

I just saw the first clip of the actors and their energy is flatter than a piece of gum being trampled on in a busy walkway.

[@eucliduschaumeau8813]

Your conundrum paradox freak out sequence near the end about the movie being a Moebius strip of itself is priceless.

[@keshabchandra6884]

In India , your video comes late at night. I watch it before going to sleep. 2 years ago i found your channel and binged all the videos up to then. The music, your voice and the weird movies in spotlight make me feel like I'm in a different, weird but comfortable world. Love from one of your Asian fan.

[@KMoo-oz1kw]

What the hell was going on in this movie?! Can we really be sure this isn't a Neil Breen movie from the 70s?

[@dubuyajay9964]

But it doesn't have Neil Breen mass murdering "corrupt" people.

[@animewrld6667]

As a Kenyan I approve this review😂😂....And I have never seen Cursed diamonds,cobras and quick sand

[@l456tatertot3]

I love how Mark really explains the ins and outs of the film industry, it’s so interesting. Thanks for another great video Mark 😘

[@audreyquinn73]

I was waiting for the Neil Breen reference. You never disappoint, Mark!

[@wyldshot666]

Dammit, Mark....you gonna KILL me with laughter yet.

[@1984Phalanx]

The way you indignantly said "what is that supposed to be, a window into space?" Was great lol. Just some random magic window.

[@mechaman7818]

2:25 I like that he immediately crosses his arms when he comes out of the trailer. Subconsciously he knew to be embarrassed... Or it was just really cold that night, I dunno.

[@kaykutcher2103]

The bloke went to film school watched Citizen Kane and that's about it.

[@BenjaminGessel]

Neal Breen film school... 😁😁😁😁

[@kaykutcher2103]

@@BenjaminGessel The Neil Breen film school is much too high of a calibre for this bloke.

[@BenjaminGessel]

@@kaykutcher2103 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁👍👍👍👍👍

[@nozoto]

If people are going to picnic next to my grave, I hope they pay respect with a libation of rich wine down my way, hehe. You see, a toast to the great ones who paved the way isn't disrespect, to me.

[@MikeStar2000]

The wine will probably pass the peoples livers first.

[@henrycbrennan]

Thanks, Mark, for bringing this movie to light. It deserves a place in the minds of film enthusiasts - way in a back corner somewhere.

[@cindigonzalez7350]

Me and my mother actually do eat at cemeteries, but we also pick up trash and stuff too and pick up flowers. We just enjoy the cemetary because it's peaceful.

[@lindaeasley5606]

The intriguing , glamorous world of a carnie fortune teller

[@insaneone4369]

That 'Corba Temple' was filmed at Mission San Juan Capristrano. Those are the ruins of the old church. It was destroyed during an earthquake in the 1800's. Tons of people were killed inside.

[@laiskapyykki]

Cool!

[@jamesmaysflyingwashingmach7459]

To be fair, there’s some pretty cool filming locations in this movie

[@TerrenceNowicki]

Wait, so this movie was missing for decades and is about a mystic at a carnival, and a character in it is named "The Great Alexander?" That movie "Carnival Magic" that they used for one of the Netflix MST3K episodes was also missing for decades and was also about a mystic at a carnival, and the mystic had a talking chimp named "Alexander the Great." Did both movies have some common source of inspiration? Was Carnival Magic inspired by this movie? Was the director of this movie also murdered by his live-in building contractor and buried under the floor of his own home?

[@thomasgallipoli8376]

I can’t be sure but I swear the carnival barker at 2:56 is the guy who sold Jack the Magic Beans in the RiffTrax Live version of Santa & The Icream Bunny. Same voice, cadence, and gestures. It truly is a small world of bad movies. Lol Fun video as usual, Mark. Proud to be a Patreon supporter.

[@danielwebster8019]

"Tire" (edit rubber)movie about telepathic homicidal steel belted radial.

[@melt8424]

do you mean Rubber from 2010? It's a good comedy/horror flick satire. Its basic premise is intentionally ridiculous.

[@txbuzzkill6276]

@@melt8424 It was on HBO when I got home from work one night. I enjoyed it.

[@danielwebster8019]

@@melt8424 oops its been a few years since I watched it but that's it.

[@pioneernut7487]

Tire wasnt made to be serious movie

[@cartoonsomething1627]

with a few changes you can always rebrand it as an Alejandro Jorodowski 70's movie...

[@WilliamsEtcPro]

My God....you're right...

[@irwinisidro]

At least with his films, as weird as they are, they are pretty much coherent and even self aware to an extent.

[@joegahan7055]

Go back to furaffinity

[@julioagua]

Isn't having picnics on cemeteries a big part of mexican Day of the Dead?

[@phoebehill953]

Many cultures picnic at the gravesites of their relatives. People in America and England did it in the 1800s, because cemeteries were green quiet places to picnic.

[@t045tSKT]

I recently had a bad mushroom trip, and Mark brought me back. I watched this episode on repeat for 2 hours. Ty Mark!!!

[@Kirifuki]

I ordered a pizza to watch this.

[@sedevacante0027]

I reheated pizza to watch this.

[@robbylebotha]

Why would a pizza watch this?

[@nalomelimaia]

@@robbylebotha pizza is the local prostitutes name.

[@cacomeatballmarinara2014]

I feel like I keep missing parts of the movie but the dialogue makes me think otherwise. “Oh yeah we’ll be living like kings and queens” and then boom “we were *not* living like kings and queens” and it’s jarring like it feels like they skipped a LOT of plot but it looks like the exact type of editing I’d expect for a movie like this

[@glenryan8299]

Hard to imagine it goes from this to Star Wars in a year!

[@EUROPAMusicOfficialChannel]

15:31 I have not laughed so hard at something in weeks. That was the funniest thing - I straight up spit out my drink through my nose. Not joking lol

[@grapeshot]

Oh the 70s when people dress themselves and then looked in the mirror and said I could care less.

[@lw2835]

It's funny how the 80's were the exact opposite

[@viscountrainbows6452]

The 70s: the decade when hairdressers went on strike

[@brianmoore9350]

If they could care less that implies that there is some lesser level of care that they could experience.

[@Horrormaster13]

Can't be worse than Things (1989)

[@ericv00]

Sure. But you've SEEN Things. You haven't seen The Astrologer.

[@hmdwgf]

Things is definitely one of the 3 worst movies EVER. That movie is the cinematic equivalent of a brain hemmorage.

[@HelpMeFindTheseSongs]

Where can we see Things? Is there a link?

[@hmdwgf]

@@HelpMeFindTheseSongs You don’t watch Things so much as be visually violated by it. You may never be the same again.

[@HelpMeFindTheseSongs]

@@hmdwgf I'm sold. I need to see it. I'm a masochist.

[@jfljones4787]

When Craig has a beard, does he kind of remind you of Torgo?

[@soukoz]

It's almost sad how in my town the cemetery is less than a mile away from the park's playground. Like there's a walking trail with markers and at the 3/4 of a mile (the start is at the park entrance) you will be in the middle of the cemetery. Which is also weird cause that particular mile marker is shaped and designed like a headstone 🙃 so trash from the park gets blown into the graves everyday.

[@HelpMeFindTheseSongs]

Hi Mark, you are my favorite KZbin channel. You're funny, insightful, and I get to learn about terrible movies. Us viewers can tell a lot of work goes into creating each one of your videos, and we appreciate it. Cheers.

[@DenerWitt]

the editing in this movie should be considered abstract art

[@fhuckgoogle4171]

This was damn funny to watch. I was in tears laughing when he killed the boat guy for no reason 🤣

[@igitha..._]

After Qxir's beautiful documentary about Irish Kung Fu I realized I have an undernourished obsession with really bad films. They're fantastic - like better than so many of the films Hollywood pumps out! I'm endlessly humored and at the same time intrigued! Thank you for providing my weird obsession with such epic nourishment! You Champion you! Edit - also I know it says 'FanboyFlicks' but I swear I'm hearing Jerry Seinfeld

[@robbylebotha]

Thank you, I've been searching for the Double Down prequel for a long time.

[@evanward4303]

His hype man is badass - 2:33 - "His priceless gym, his priceless vervulation of your very selves... "

[@jameswarner5878]

I thought you described the whole movie and then you said that that was just the first 20 minutes. My face literally had a shocked expression on it, I physically reacted to you saying that.

[@ghostlightx9005]

4:22 That "magician" moved the hoop in the exact motion that gives away how the trick is done (instead of moving it horizontally to sell the illusion).

[@deanlawliet1353]

That "The Astrologer" realization was the BEST.

[@thew0rdsmyth]

Im just waiting for Mark to watch the insane Maximum Overdrive, the only Stephen King directed film.

[@virg0_lem0nade]

hahahah the voice Mark does at 20:39 totally sounds like Trey Parker

[@sergeantbilko7070]

Love your sarcasm, which comes in very handy for these reviews.

[@feltongailey8987]

Ahhh, the fast and loose 70's. Considering the amount of weed, coke and LSD floating around. I'd say this is a pretty well developed plot. This dude really had it together man.

[@AndyofCT]

I love how everything is completely unearned, but he realizes he realizes he needs to lose it all in the end because he's seen tycoon movies before lol

[@assmuddafukkinhole2]

Mark: wow... that's deep. Director, screenwriter, editor, producers: exactly. this guy gets it.

[@jfrancis98]

I grew up in the 70s and although I have never seen quicksand, I’m deathly afraid of it to this day.

[@bigdad1211]

I lost brain cells trying to understand this movie. Thank you for watching it for me. You are a hero! 👏

[@Asaq231]

Welcome back THREE the show

[@kgamzz26]

ALWAYS excited to see you upload. 😀

[@ranga5004]

God this content is 10/10 and just keeps getting better!