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In this video, Dan, who has Autism, ADHD, and OCD, discusses
If you’re reading this you’re a hero!
Comment “I am autistic!” so I can notice you!
Not
or any other video like
This is a video where The Aspie World (AspieWorld1) Autism In Girls (Socialising Info YOU Need To Know)

[@ameliar3786]

Autistic mama here 🙋‍♀️ sex is difficult because it’s such a sensory experience. Being with a partner who understands that is important in my experience 🥰

[@TheAspieWorld]

1000% Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

[@chaosfiredragon7783]

I think that sex is an important part of developing as someone with Asperger's, because it helps me deepen a relationship with someone that I care about. It often helps to change my focus because I will change from thinking about all the other million things in my head to focus on the other individual and their needs.

[@TheAspieWorld]

Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

[@ThePhantomQueen87]

thank you for this discussion i have had issues with sex and my sensory processing. thank you for mentioning the “where are the boundaries” being very clear is important

[@TheAspieWorld]

For sure!! Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

[@user-dy2px8gt1g]

Great video again Dan. Thank you for being our voice and creating discussion. Personally I am 48, mother of six, but I hate sex, it makes me really really aggressive being touched by anyone. After 26 years of marriage my husband still has no clue ! Masking is so damaging when you have done it for so long that you can’t even let the mask down with the people you live with.

[@TheAspieWorld]

Oh man! Yeah it can be tough!! Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

[@Portia620]

Wow

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

I’m in the same boat- you aren’t alone. Edit: except I’m male, but the same situation with masking re: sex

[@rachelwaln269]

Are you scared that he'll want a divorce from you if you tell him you're autistic?

[@elizabethlynch6544]

This also means that people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders need to learn about it and yet allistics assume we don't want it.

[@TheAspieWorld]

Indeed!

[@Plethorality]

I bloody want it. ...

[@elizabethlynch6544]

@@Plethorality I agree.

[@LunarGlowMedia]

I will have been married 8 years in September, and even well before I got diagnosed in 2020 I knew I was a bit... Odd. I'm ultra hyper sensitive to touch, and my wife has never lacked in the libido department, so sometimes she will want it, but I would rather fight a bear than be touched by ANYONE. But, I don't want to be selfish, so I would have really awkward sex that was super overstimulating. It's hard because in America, as a black man I'm "supposed" to be hypergamous and always DTF. Instead I'm genuinely confused about the concept of make up sex. If I'm upset or feel hurt by my wife the very last thing I want is physical contact, much less the hour or so of prolonged contact that she wants.

[@TheAspieWorld]

That is super interesting thank you for sharing and being so honest. Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

[@aaloha2902]

I don’t get ‘make up sex’ either. I’d say be you🙏🏼 Don’t tell your wife you’d rather fight a bear, lol, but tell her about how you feel when you’re having a quiet emotionally intimate moment. Then it will be easier to address when you actually do feel like you’d rather fight a bear. You don’t need to be/feel ‘selfish’ to make it work for you as well. But hey, you’re married, I’m not, so you don’t have to take my word for it 🧘🏻‍♀️🙏🏼 There’s no one size fits all black man dear. As a (at that time young) girl the boys didn’t seem to notice, I’ve heard a lot of big boy talk & bragging among the black guys I hung out with (Europe/US same) and my BS detector went off with a lot of that talk. Maybe they weren’t monogamous, but it didn’t mean they were at it all the time and lasting for hours. I think they slept a lot more than their big mouths seemed to imply…. and I heard their girls talk of course 😉, different perspective. Your wife chose you 🙏🏼

[@LunarGlowMedia]

@@aaloha2902 For the sake of clarity now that I'm not taking a quick break at work: It's less anxiety over being, shall we say, quick (like you said, she DID choose me ;) ), and more just attempting to ignore the sensation that I avoid 24/7 with everyone BUT her. I go very far out of my way not to bump into people. Physical contact with another person is intimate, a sharing of sorts, and if I'm gonna have sexy times with my wife I don't want to share my overstimulation with her through that connection. I feel like I may not have given the best impression of my wife. She's wonderfully patient with me, and I'm really blessed to be her husband. While she's not entirely neurotypical she isn't ADHD or autistic, so there are naturally going to be misunderstandings and different needs. It really boils down to sex being the thing that she wants to know that we're ok, and it's really hard to get in the zone when I'm still overstimulated regardless of what I want. And as far as being a black man it has quite a bit to do with the baked in racism that permeates the States, both external and internal. It's an oversexualization that was told about us for so long that we started believing it ourselves. You can see it in a lot of these 'Manosphere' creators like Fresh and Fit, who talk endlessly about women but obviously don't even enjoy anything about them other than how getting with them makes them look to the homies. It's weird. Having a high body count is considered to be a yardstick of masculinity for a truly tragic number of men, and it all has it's roots in propaganda meant to keep southern white folks scared following Reconstruction. The image of the savage Black Buck is what got Emmet Till tortured and lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman, for instance. We're getting into the weeds a bit here, but just know that I'm talking about something that I cannot do justice in a comment. Foreign Man in a Foreign Land has a great video discussing it.

[@koketsunakoton7421]

As a black woman with late diagnosed autism I feel so seen. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this comment.

[@AmonAmarthFan609]

I’m 26 and to date I have had 8 sexual partners...and every single one of them initiated contact and (outwardly and directly) expressed interest first. At this current point in time, and for all of my life thus far, I am completely and utterly useless when it comes to flirting and letting women know that I’m interested in a way that isn’t too forward or awkward. I can’t wrap my head around it.

[@trouaconti7812]

Blurt it out directly. Say I am attracted to you. If nothing comes out is not a big loss

[@AmonAmarthFan609]

@@trouaconti7812 the problem with that is, the way that I understand casual human social etiquette to work, if my method of trying to get laid was to just walk up to every girl I find attractive and say "hey. I think you're attractive. What say you" that I would just quickly gain a reputation as the creepy weird guy in town who harasses women. I really have no tangible reason to believe this is not an accurate inference

[@andyvandenbossche3414]

Its the only moment i can stand being touched by other people without feeling uncomfortable. I do enjoy it very much and yes, but also with a bit of routine in it, in the way that when we have done a thing once or twice, i expect it everytime to happen. But outside distractions like loud noises can ruin the total experience.

[@TheAspieWorld]

100% agree! Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

[@rebeccaalvarado2254]

I am sooooo happy there is a discussion on this. Being with my partner who has autism and sex is still something we are tangoing still. This gives me an open to understand. I believe we both like it a lot but im still guessed on his behalf. Thank you again for this video

[@KendalWeaver]

I was diagnosed with autism at 12 years old. However I have a very strong sex drive but I don’t have sensory problems when it comes to physical touch. I think learning about the 5 love languages is very important

[@AdrianHernandez-rn1sq]

Don’t get me wrong, as a teenager myself I’m naturally curious about sex through adolescence, but I’ve done a lot of research on the background of sex, the psychology aspect of it, and I’ve always wondered if anyone did the same thing as me. I doubt im gonna figure out all I want and like the first time I do it, but I really hope my partner will be able to hear me out and my thoughts so intimacy is something we can both enjoy because I’ll likely love her to the end of time :)

[@TheAspieWorld]

Yes! Thank you so much for the comment!

[@RayaRSS]

I did exactly the same when I was a teenager. As an adult, it's weird to know people never wanted to know sex that way

[@AdrianHernandez-rn1sq]

@@RayaRSS most people won’t get it, unfortunately. One thing that makes us autistic people special 🤷‍♂️

[@peterg76yt]

There's been language for less than 100 000 years, but there's been sexual reproduction for about 600 million years, so the non-verbal component is massive. That means that initiating/negotiating sex has the challenge of impaired non-verbal communication.

[@gr8645]

I see sex as a want, not a need.

[@christianpool]

Intimacy is the most important and beautiful part of being in a relationship and being married. As someone who has been autistic since the age of 5, I love sex. Sex is not a problem for me, but phone sex is.

[@Plethorality]

You may have been diagnosed at five, but we are born with it. And yes, intimacy can me beautiful.

[@Portia620]

Makes sense

[@user-xe5yy1xy6x]

No to complain, it was a great and helpful video, but I have one comment. Sex is not necessarily only intercourse. Lesbians don't have intercourse, yet they have sex, also some physical issues can impede the possibility for intercourse. I have interstitial cystitis and prolapsed uterus and bladder. I thought I couldn't have sex until I realized I could redefine it as more than intercourse. I only put this comment incase someone reading thinks they have to stay away from intimacy because they can't have intercourse. Oh, also people who don't want the intensity of intercourse or the possibility of pregnancy or for religious reasons. You can still have other kinds of satisfying intimacy if you find an understanding, creative and boundary respecting partner.

[@J3RR1C4J3RP]

As a lesbian, thank you for explaining this & also thanks for mentioning other things that others could feel validated too! I have an amazing wife and she is the most loving & respectful person ✨

[@NeuroSpicySheri]

I’m autistic and I’ve had several partners tell me they only feel like I open up and they can connect with me when we’re having sex.

[@ashleyhoward8772]

Loved the pun haha. This is such an important subject! Im so glad to see a video discussing it. I have major sensory issues and it makes sex extremely difficult for me to enjoy. This has been an ongoing struggle for me, even though I am in a wonderful and loving relationship. It's so hard for me to "let go", but when I can, it's sort of like sex can be the ultimate stim haha. It is kind of like stimming at a super high level with another person. I am so thankful that my partner is so understanding when it comes to boundaries, etc. He is not autistic or ADHD (I'm both), but he has been impossibly kind when it comes to my sexual "issues". Thanks for this Dan!

[@DocMiasma]

To answer for myself here no we can’t because I can’t even meet new people and keep them around once they leave so no I’ll never get to experience intimacy with someone else because I’m a freak in the eyes of everyone I talk to. I regret learning about autism and I regret allowing people to diagnose me as it’s a curse and I don’t want to live with it anymore. As an individual who is 26 and autistic I believe that there is no way I’ll be able to do anything adult period. My family keeps me closeted (can not leave property without permission) and all of my “friends” are online so i have zero social ability and because I’ve been an inside kid my life I’ve seen myself on the sidelines for everything. Like recently i bought a realm for mc so i could play with people i enjoy playing with and it’s MY REALM but recently I’ve felt like i have to put my everything aside as the people i play with won’t play with me anymore because they don’t like what or how im playing my games so i cancelled the subscription. I’m glad others get the chance to be the main character in their own life. Ive always and will always be the background character not important to anything in my own life and in everyone else’s

[@barrydown1938]

Well that explains alot,why i was told once that was too "full on".I blame it on my hormones.

[@Autistic_AF]

"Pardon the pun" hahaha Dan!

[@TheAspieWorld]

Hahaha

[@EVERYTYME]

At the moment im still only self diagnosed but i love sex. My love language is touch but i never let just anyone touch me. So since that desire for touch gets reserved for someone special even just the lightest touch sends chills through my body. I'm also a people pleaser in the bedroom and have gotten good feedback(tryna keep it as appropriate as possible 😂) i dont feel like its all that complicated, on my end at least!

[@dollfacecakes]

Spot on.

[@TheAspieWorld]

Thank you so much for the comment! 🙏🏼🫶

[@ThroughTheLensOfAutism]

Calling disability “sexy” could have the unfortunate side effect of making disabled people targets.

[@TheAspieWorld]

I agree but it was a positive campaign

[@J3RR1C4J3RP]

Hi! Im an autistic person that is asexual, but i do have s3x, once in awhile! So i just want to clear up a few things about asexual people because theres a lot of misunderstandings! Asexual means that you have little to no s3xual attraction, & some asexuals engage in it, whether they have lil or no feelings, will engage for the bond with their partner, or for all the health benefits! Or other reasons; while others might be like a hecc no zero of that for me! Its a spectrum, kinda like autism is ✨

[@ThreePieceSuit2274]

Pardon the pun. "Autistic people may have difficulty with the in's and out's of intercourse". As an autistic person, I found the oun amusing.

[@craigbrowning9448]

My challenges are of not being good at relationships, pursue anyone I am specifically interested in is like maybe if I were "Chosen." My father that was sexually abusive (Bisexuality and a Pedophile, also we tried two stock or get even me to stock girlfriends that had rejected him) he was also a sexual predator the top this off very conservative. So I've never been able to really test myself in a relationship and what he had to offer in terms of advice was useless and juvenile friends are also useless, and when you finally grow up and become an adult you're supposed to have it all down pat.

[@Portia620]

I’m sorry to hear this and KZbin is a great place for some help but therapy could be a great place to get info too and guidance

[@Pjbassjam]

I’m going to back that up and say yes❤😂and it’s fun

[@TheAspieWorld]

Heck yeah dude 🫶🫶

[@seivionfisher3422]

I have a question everybody have a autism they have a kids just asking

[@TheAspieWorld]

Not everyone

[@ilovecats4705]

I always known of sex being very relaxing. I've seen true evidence of this and I also found out myself due to personal reasons. It truly does feel good at times, but only with a person who I trust.

[@TentoesMe]

I imagine so. I HAVE two sons. When they were children, there was NO DOUBT they were mine!

[@Matty12333]

What about LGBT is that common in Autism?

[@TheAspieWorld]

Just as common as in any other human

[@jessicap5010]

Haven’t watched the whole thing but just answering the title. Of course we can and I have 2 kids 😊

[@StefanPriceUK]

The wrong question.

[@TauvicRitter]

I have a daughter

[@jackiemitchell8869]

I have been asked if can sex because I am autistic like it is any of there business. When I tell people I can’t have kids they say autism is no reason not to because they Believe I can. If I could have kids I would simple as that. I don’t believe in sex before marriage. On our honeymoon we tried it once but we couldn’t complete the deal for laughing so hard as we had never done it before. The next day my husband’s gran died and we have really tried again since. I am not that bothered about it. I find other ways to satisfy my needs.

[@deathmeister9452]

I am AuADHD and OCD like yourself .

[@xr2kid]

I love sex and I'm an Autistic ADHD'er with Alexithymia. I have a high libido. And Ive had between 150-162 partners. I believe it is the sensory seeking for me as well.

[@Portia620]

Oh my goodness i hope your using protection for your protection and eveyone else

[@EVERYTYME]

Ok Barney Stinsen 😂

[@uncletom1971]

My lady tells me she's too fat for sex, and that she's ashemed. Haven't had sex now for surely .. 20 years. But we do other things together, and I have my motorcycles and other stuff, so I'm good.

[@Portia620]

WHAT??? How do you survive! Freaking out without an orgasm or no sx!

[@debracopper8138]

my autistic friend only likes kisses on the cheek. He said mouth kissing is wet. He does like me to kiss him in his neck and ear. But..the only thing i get back is huggs. which are wonderful. i love the huggs. He said he will always be single. That he will never have sex. He needs to care for his mother and cares fir him... hes 42 yr old. i dont undesrand.

[@Caseds]

Personally I like sex. I also like physical affection. At the same time, I'm happy just being by myself at times. I guess for me, it's one of those take it or leave it kind of things.

[@TheAspieWorld]

Thank you so much for the comment!

[@MMStrademark]

Without airing any of my experiences, oh, I know we autistic people can have sex, if we find the right person.

[@kaseyford1490]

I'm a sex repulsed Autistic Asexual. I hate how Allistic and Neurotypicals deem us too Innocent, quirky and Childish to understand this stuff. It's abelist thinking. Like, just coz I'm Asexual, it doesn't mean I don't know about it 😢

[@NatachaWasylykVinette]

That's just 😂😂😂😅😂😂😂

[@gimpinainteasy]

I have 3 kids. So no. We can't.

[@TheAspieWorld]

What O.o

[@gimpinainteasy]

@@TheAspieWorld I couldn’t help myself. I had to troll the question. I have no filter lol. I get some many dumb questions when people find out I’m Autistic and have ADHD. That my troll comes out. When I was younger people always talked about is computer nerds being virgins. So yea. lol

[@itzblacknred]

One does not "become" asexual! One is asexual from birth!

[@telayajackson2.023]

Yes.