Go Behind The Last Five Years' "If I Didn't Believe in You" With Jason Robert Brown

[@mckenna8663]

I was once IN a situation exactly like "I will not fail so you will be comfortable, Kathy. I will not lose because you can't win." Those are INCREDIBLY raw words. When I heard them first on the soundtrack, I had to whip the recording off and just sit there stunned. I never thought I would experience them in life (once those words ever come out - you can not take them back. 2 lives are changed forever. Both have been ruined, because something precious just died) and certainly not in musical theater. This musical is RAW!!! but it's also beautiful - and one of my favorites. Thank you, Jason.

[@dscbrown1067]

Mc Kenna Truth

[@RobertBannonActor]

I've always had a love/hate relationship with this song. I performed this show in the Project Arts Centre in Dublin, Ireland in 2014 the week my five year relationship with my actress girlfriend ended (oh.. the irony). When I reached this song, every night I would grieve my relationship, or lack there of, until my girlfriend at the time finally had the courage to come to the show. That night, I broke down, barely got through the song but once I sang the final line "I wouldn't have loved you at all", I looked at my girlfriend and cried. She smiled back through her tears. It was the perfect way to say goodbye.

[@iwannabuyaduck60]

“I will not lose so that you can win” my heart literally crumbles. Such a beautifully written song.

[@cworeo]

Those are not the correct lyrics. The correct lyric is "I will not lose because you can't win."

[@leonh.kalayjian6556]

Either way, he's being very cruel with that line. Watching this video, I'm so happy that brown realizes this and wonderful to hear his thought process. And how jaime can say such a hurtful thing.

[@hunterlarrison]

I’ve said since I first saw this show, “I will not fail so you can be comfortable” is harsh, but he could have walked it back. He could have apologized. It was said in passion. “I will not lose because you can’t win” was a choice. He chose to say it. And that was the death knell of the marriage. He clearly loves her, but he has lost respect for her. At that point, the foundation is cracked. It’s just a matter of time.

[@UndineOwens024]

::nods:: “If I didn’t believe in you, I wouldn’t have loved you at all” is less raw, could sound supportive even, but to me it’s even harsher. Because of the time slip. He’s been speaking in the present and future, but “love[d]” takes it into the past: “I loved you because I believed in you. But time has showed that my faith in your *abilities* was unfounded. You’ve proven to be a loser, and (crucially) I don’t love losers”. Oof.

[@Averyravynwood]

This is a brilliant acting piece on top of being a vocal beast at times. As JRB says, it's about focusing on an objective and checking in to see if you've achieved that objective, then changing your tactics to get it when one approach doesn't work. Lots of composers fail to take the acting beats into account when they write, but not here. This has always been one of my favorite JRB pieces.

[@rebeccah2662]

I audibly gasped when I got the notification for this!!!!!

[@dscbrown1067]

This song is just so relatable. Having experienced a similar experience, as I'm sure most fans have as well, it just has this way of touching your soul in the most vulnerable spot, causing both grief and healing. Thank you JRB, you'll never know the full impact your music has had, but just know that without it; things would be different for a lot of us.

[@ezmoney4598]

Performing this song is so much fun. I got to do it for an audience with accompaniment by the co-creator of the musical For Tonight. One of the best six minutes of my life.

[@madajafarmer5414]

He has a lovely voice.

[@Probablylani]

I got to watch Jason Robert Brown live during the past Texas Thespians. Great performance.

[@corvus1374]

Its interesting how much of a jerk Jamie is, considering it's Jason Robert Brown himself.

[@user-oq6ol5fi2w]

corvus13 the thing is, Jamie isn't really that big of a jerk. Both he and Cathy are flawed, and cheating is never justified, but he isn't a jerk.

[@corvus1374]

This song shows just how much of a jerk he is. It's all passive aggressive, how he's being SOOOO understanding of her when putting her down subtly.

[@hectorjenkins934]

I guess it's about perspective I would say he's morally flawed but that he's not a jerk he's just in an unhealthy relationship and he does something stupid to try and sooth his pain And if anything this song shows his struggle to both love her and be a working man in my perspective but hey your entitled to your perspective

[@user-oq6ol5fi2w]

HecticBuzzVideo I agree with what you're saying, they're both at fault

[@jellybeansushi]

I agree. What he did and the way he treated Cathy was pretty jerky, but it makes sense. At this point he's trying to enjoy his own success (that he didn't work very hard for) and he's already fought Cathy's inadequacy once (in song, but probably more times in 4 years). He can tell she resents him even if she never says it to him.

[@paulacurtis1874]

You should watch JONATHAN BAILEY (He plays Anthony Brigerton on Brigerton TV series) sing this for a Audition on KZbin. I almost cried listening to him. He is a Great Actor.

[@erinwhewell857]

This song is perfect. I get something new from it every listen.

[@theeleanorshellstrop]

He’s amazing!

[@kittygibson5767]

Love it. Saw this in London in November and loved it x

[@trinityhoolihan8784]

The world doesn’t deserve this man

[@Mrphilharmonic]

It sounds more like dialogue set to music than an actual song

[@reeseweicht]

bro is a genius

[@GuitarTuntikon]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@MariaP-mg8lw]

He is gaslighting cathy in this song

[@dogdogis]

Really? He was actually telling her to be honest about her feelings. Cathy was never honest about how she resented Jamie for his success.

[@AtlanticGiantPumpkin]

@@dogdogis JRB’s ex-wife sued him over this song because it was too similar to their own failed marriage. The Last Five Years is just a musical where JRB tries to paint himself as “I’m not the bad guy, she messed up too!” And then everyone watching goes “No, Cathy was wronged. Jamie was a cheating manipulator.” If you think Jamie’s in the right, that means that JRB is and was an excellent manipulator.

[@dogdogis]

@@AtlanticGiantPumpkin Non sequitur. If we base our arguments on the material alone, without extrinsic facts, Kathy has a lot to do with the failure of the marriage. Let's stick to the material alone shall we?

[@carr0760]

@@AtlanticGiantPumpkin incorrect. She sued him over the show as a whole because It violated their non-disclosure agreement, and he counter sued for interfering with his creative process. Ultimately he removed all references to her being Irish Catholic, which required removing an entire song, I Could Be In Love With Someone Like You, which was replaced with Shiksa Goddess.

[@dr.philmcbill3931]

@@AtlanticGiantPumpkin What show were you watching? Cathy is definitely the problem. She wanted a rich and successful husband just because she wanted to “do better” than her friends. After she finally gets what she wants, she resents Jamie because she never understood the realities of what it takes to be successful. Going to industry parties is what you have to do if you want to make it in the arts. She wants to take credit for Jamies success, but she holds all of that work and success against him. Cathy is awful.

[@paulysuchy151]

1 person is mean

[@nicholasvaldezbonoan4287]

They're now four and fck themmmmm. I SO LOVE THIS PERSON AND HE'S PLAY.

[@danthecoolman980]

Don’t ever write guitar parts again until you are in touch with the instrument. thanks.

[@jaclynmorrison9839]

Jamie did nothing wrong

[@cathysmith997]

Watch the movie again. They both had some insurmountable issues. His cheating isn't nothing. That temptation started as soon as they got married.

[@jaclynmorrison9839]

@@cathysmith997 Yeah facts but she was annoying and Jamie did what she had to.

[@jeffreywang1824]

​@@jaclynmorrison9839 Wouldn't say that he did what he "had to" do. Should've just left her straight away honestly. They weren't good for each other and he'd clearly long given up on them but wouldn't admit it. Cheating is never the right thing though.

[@mattlorenzetti4693]

@@jeffreywang1824 in my opinion. She tried supporting him, congratulated him, and went to all of his parties and get togethers. Yes, Jamie had his support, The Schmuel song and proposing. But Cathy tried to support him more and he’d always leave her at the parties and she would fend for herself. When she tried talking to him, all he would say is “stop contradicting everything I say” or “what’s this really about”. Even when it was struggling,, he could’ve tried fixing it when staying with her during see I’m smiling. He missed her birthday, didn’t see her shows, and she did so much for him. And for him to cheat.... no honey. She tried and he cheats on her. Every time Cathy would want Jamie to see her he’d say, “I’ll be there soon Cathy”. And then leaves a note knowing that’s how her last breakup went is uncouth. Team Cathy... This movie is fantastic and I love every minute of it🥰🥰

[@jaclynmorrison9839]

@Marilou and what about it?