Body Language Analyst Reacts. How did Iam Tongi Make American Idol Judges THAT Emotional?

Nobody could have expected to be emotionally affected to this extent when Iam Tongi from Kahuku, Hawaii walked into the American Idol audition room. Minutes into his performance the judges were an emotional mess. But what causes us to feel so deeply and why do we behave the way we do when something affects us emotionally? Find out now!
Check out Iam Tongi's full audition video: • Iam Tongi Makes The Ju...
There are many fake YT accounts pretending to be Iam. To follow his ONLY REAL ACCOUNT go here: / @iamiamtongi
Become a member of The Behavioral Arts and receive a custom badge and other perks here: kzbin.info...
Check out my favorite books on how to read body language (affiliate links):
amzn.to/3TNNYdf
amzn.to/3cW844w
amzn.to/3Jmff3z
Find me on:
TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/9X42QX/
Instagram: / spideyhypnosis
facebook: / spideymagic
twitter: / spideyhypnosis
REFERENCES
Research on Eye Blocking
The acts of opening and closing the eyes are of importance for congenital blindness: Evidence from resting-state fMRI
www.sciencedirect.com/science...
Eye Flutter and Memory/ Processing
Spontaneous Eye Blink Rate During the Working Memory Delay Period Predicts Task Accuracy
www.frontiersin.org/articles/...
Tracking Real-Time Changes in Working Memory Updating and Gating with the Event-Based Eye-Blink Rate
www.nature.com/articles/s4159...
#bodylanguage #facialexpressions #behavioralpsychology #psychology #americanidol #iamtongi #lionelrichie #lukebryan #katyperry #thebehavioralarts

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Hey everyone! Hope you’re enjoying this one, it holds a very special place in my heart, making it was a very different experience from my other videos. A few updates/comments: 1) there are many fake yt accounts pretending to be Iam. To follow his only real account. It’s youtube.com/@iamiamtongi 2)most of you seem to largely agree on my second theory that he felt / remembered his dad next to him and opened his eyes to find his dad not there and that’s what hit him. Some of you added that in getting lost in the music he forgot for a moment that his dad wasn’t *actually* there and when he opened his eyes, it hit him…. I completely agree that this is highly possible and it makes that expression on his face so so powerful for me. 3) I should have elaborated on this more but with Lionel Richie, both the distant squint and the slow crumble absolutely can be deep reflection on personal experience. I do think he relates to this song and story. 4) I’m not sure why or how Katy Perry kept it together much better than her colleagues. She does tear up at some of his later performances but despite being impacted during this one she keeps it together much better. She even says at the end “you made these grown men cry” excluding herself from the group of people who are crying. Whatever the reason, I’m actually glad she didn’t overdo it “fake” it. That would have ruined the reality of what everyone else was feeling in the room. Maybe she kept it together because somebody had to! 5) a viewer (@ligairi) gave us really valuable context about Iam’s cultural background. I mistakenly thought he was native Hawaiian, I read that somewhere while researching his background but turns out this is incorrect. Here is the copy and pasted comment by “ligairi”: “Yes, Pacific Islanders are usually very spiritual. Just FYI, he’s Tongan, not Hawaiian. A lot of our families came to the US via Hawai’i via Samoa, Tonga, Guam, the Philippines, etc. I’m Fijian but my family also came through that Laie/Kahuku part of Hawai’i. The fact that he’s Tongan and from Kahuku points to him likely being Mormon. Christianity was very successful throughout the Pacific but especially Mormons and especially in Tonga. “ 6) a few commenters noticed me talking about playing music with someone like I know what it’s like and using musical lingo. Good catch. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this on the channel but I do have a degree in classical piano from the McGill conservatory, it’s basically the equivalent of a high school degree in music. And I played keyboard in many bands when I was younger. So I’m conversationally comfortable with music but don’t consider myself an authority by any means 😊

[@thomasrios3913]

Of course you have a degree in music. Is there anything you haven’t done? 😂. Seriously though, I keep saying this, but this was your best analysis yet. I can feel your heart through every clip and you nailed a lot of things I either took for granted or didn’t notice. Your combined experience in competition tv, music and of course behavioral psychology was the perfect mix to handle this, I don’t think anyone could have done a better job. 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

[@patientzero5685]

You’re so humble Spidey… I just love you for it ❤

[@christyalmartin7400]

No wonder people luv's ya! I'll be a fan for life. Such a compassionate soul. And ya take no BS. That's Great.

[@maryloucameron2849]

Excellent as usual! So thankful I found your channel! Take care and stay safe 🇨🇦

[@JoeSmith05]

When Lionel Richie extended his tongue out far, it felt to me that he was try to 'vomit' his emotions; trying to expell the emotions, so hes not to be overwhelmed with them. And then is trying to find air in his bubble that's now filled with his emotions. Just a feeling i had in that moment. Loved the video spidey, keep up the great work.

[@pcline6876]

I'm Iam's great aunt and I appreciate your acknowledgment of Iam's genuineness. He is always exactly what you see. He's just a good sweet young man. Thank you for explaining the judges reactions and their responses to Iam and his music.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

My pleasure ma’am. Iam was clearly raised in a loving and nurturing family. You all should be very proud

[@mkj-wo1hv]

Aloha no- Bruddah Iam …IS DA REAL DEAL!!His heart, body and soul went into his audition - ALWAYS being true to himself- No fancy clothes or shoe- Loved that about him….Main focus was to fulfill his Dads dream and thankful to Mom Lillie for Never Giving Up- SOO supportive as well as his Ohana… When I viewed the video with his Ohana sitting in a circle, oh my gosh…it brought tears to my eyes when Mom Lillie THANKED EVERYONE WHO HELPED IN Bruddah Iam’s journey..Enjoyed and felt the love shared among all the Ohana and friends.. Many many blessings to Bruddah Iam and Ohana….Supporters TOO!!

[@cherylporter6086]

I’m so happy that he won! He seems like such a sweet boy and I’ve enjoyed watching some of his other music especially some of his religious songs like “peace in Christ” such a beautiful voice. I’m excited to hear more from him!

[@mahoop]

Thank you for sharing this wonderful soul with the rest of the world. What a beautiful, soothing voice. I pray that he has a fantastic long, happy career doing what makes him happy. God gave him a wonderful gift.

[@sparklelight]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@a.duncan6791]

There are a handful of artistic performances that have shown up on youtube over the years that generate global chat. My bet is, this young man's audition will eventually wind up as the most viewed, with the most positive comments, of all time. The song was part of it. But, the reaction of the judges on set, and us, the global audience judging, reacted because we'd witnessed a true spiritual moment. This was Iam's eulogy for Rodney. I will never forget it.

[@suzannecardiff6962]

💯

[@melisastanley454]

You're absolutely 💯 right. This really was a spiritual moment.

[@mamayo8152]

I watched the audition and was a complete emotional mess. I felt his connection with his dad. He wasn’t singing for the judges, he was singing to his dad - it was two grown men saying good-bye. The finale performance with James Blunt was equally, if not more, emotional. He sings with his heart and I’ll be here to watch his ride. Can someone pass me the box of tissue.

[@penguinswithwifi]

His sincerity and genuineness made people relate to him and respect him.

[@johnbroot5628]

Very well said.

[@JohnBergin]

Another excellent video. Lionel lost his father in 1990 and went through a four-year massive depression until the birth of his second child. Explains why it hit him so hard

[@GanjahMacK]

I didn’t know that before I watched Iam Tongi’s performance, but once I seen Lionel Richie fighting his feelings, shaking, and being so emotional I instantly knew he had a strong connection with his father. Googled Lionel Richie and his father and found exactly what you said.

[@goosebump801]

I wasn’t aware of these specifics, but suspected something like this as soon as I saw his reaction 💐

[@TheBehavioralArts]

That makes so much damn sense it’s unbelievable

[@mary-janereallynotsarah684]

Aww.

[@learntospeakdogwithrachelm5866]

Awww this makes so much sense. I was going to Google it, because it felt like that this had a massively personal hook.

[@nancy9891]

I’ve watched James Blunt’s song but the soulful sound of Iam Tongi hit me like a brick. When he says, “Daddy…”, it’s like he is truly speaking to his father. Beautiful.

[@helamana]

The very first time I heard this audition, that “Daddy…” hit me harder than any lyric had hit me. It was very personal with him as it was with me too and I bet, all of us

[@TheDivayenta]

Ian made it his own.

[@kawehionalani3957]

💯 my thoughts exactly!

[@hermansuranto5353]

yes. agree

[@cathynuytten798]

I agree when he says Daddy you know it is coming from a sacred place.

[@JodyY808]

I'm from Hawai'i and have been a teacher of international and local students for over 25 years in Hawai'i and several years in Japan. A lot of your analysis is appropriate, especially for the American judges, but I've been following Iam's journey on American Idol since the beginning of the show and I've learned a lot about his background and facts about his performances from his sm and interviews by people in radio and TV in Hawai'i and other Pacific Islands. I don't know how much you've studied the behavior and cultures of Pacific Islanders, but to me, Iam and his family are typical and representative of many Polynesian/Micronesian families who are first and second-generation immigrants to Hawai'i/the U.S. The Tongis are Tongan/Samoan (and Irish), not Hawaiian, but very much a part of the Local Polyculture in Hawai'i which values faith, family, friends, and sharing music as well as humility and support for your community. Respecting elders and not making eye contact or voicing your opinions are behaviors that are sometimes misinterpreted by more independent and "assertive" Western cultures, especially American. Iam also has that little playful charm (we would call him "kolohe" or rascal in Hawai'i), which makes him so loveable, we just want to give him a big hug when he's sad as well as when he's joyful. First of all, you're right, no family or friends are allowed in the audition room unless the judges invite them in, so of course, Iam is nervous and anxious. He has also admitted he has ADHD, which has given him problems in school and might explain some of his nervous energy and need to focus when he sings. I agree a lot of AI is scripted and the judges may have gotten notes about his situation with his father, but Iam has said in interviews that he had not intended to talk about his father, and that's why his whole demeanor changed when Katy asked him, and why he was sincerely having trouble keeping it together after that. You were right --- when he looked to his right when he sang, "Can feel your hand on my own." he was looking to where he was feeling and hearing his dad harmonizing with him, so he had to close his eyes and turn back to the reality of the audition. His genuine expression of his love and sadness through his beautiful voice and meaningful lyrics are what touch so many people who watch him perform. It's a little different when you see the videos he recorded for IG, and I think even if he records the songs in a studio, I don't think you can get that same authentic emotion that you get in a live performance before a captivated and empathetic audience. Thank you for doing this detailed behavioral analysis. I've seen dozens of "reaction" videos, but many are now just trying to take advantage of Iam's fame and popularity because they know they will get views and likes if they post something about him, even if they know nothing about him, American Idol, or even the music and artists he is covering (or the judges). If you've seen some of Iam's other performances that I listed in your first exploratory post, you'll see the huge changes in his demeanor and behavior and how much the audiences and judges love him. The Top 12 perform this Sunday, April 30. No need to analyze. Just watch online and enjoy!

[@paultv8693]

Thanks for taking the time to share this!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow! Such great insight and context. Thank you so much for sharing all this.

[@frostbite8696]

Beautifully said!

[@justmehawaii808]

My first thought when I saw his audition was that he’s “local,” easy going, and has that “Hawaiian Style” vibe going on. Pretty sure anyone from Hawaii would understand what I mean.

[@JodyY808]

@@justmehawaii808 Definitely. Just one look at da rubba slippaz and you know! 😄

[@joanies6778]

When people use their sob story to invoke pity, as an empath I can feel it right away, and it is a put off for me. He was clearly trying to hold back and we could feel his genuine pain. At the end of the clip he said he can still hear his dad singing. I imagined his eyes were closed to focus on his dad, hearing his harmonizing with him in that audition. I felt that strongly as I watched him. This was quite impactful from watching the audition to your analogy... very powerful! Thank you so much for this share. ✨️💖✨️

[@melanietuhoro5266]

As he said iam wasnt trying to get pity he was trying to stand tall and hold back his tears

[@ayy_yo6619]

I just watched Iam’s audition and I could not stop crying. You can feel the love, admiration, and respect he has for his dad. His parents raised a good person. May he continue to sing and grace us with his talent.

[@Gr8tBlueHeron]

Anyone who can continue to sing through that kind of emotion just amazes me. It's a whole other level.

[@djmanafatai6620]

Very true. That is what I just express in my comment. How he able to stop that load of emotion and able to sing it well until the last second of the song, that's when his voice drop. He can't wait to finish the song.

[@kelseydalziel3514]

Same. I can't even sing when I'm this sad, my voice just won't let me 😅 What a powerful performance.

[@Gr8tBlueHeron]

@@kelseydalziel3514 I cannot even speak, let alone sing through emotion. That kind of vocal control is powerful.

[@judytelles3518]

It had no effect on me whatsoever, I am not musically aware and I cant hear the story in a song. Iam is a good singer but there was a better girl singer. I was surprised to see Wei Ani on this show as she was on the voice.

[@cupidok2768]

Body language got.him thru?

[@sadtiger2022]

35:37 " I think Lionel's dying here!" 😂 poor guy got hit hard with emotions. ❤ Such a beautiful performance!

[@NicolaMaxwell]

Bless that young lad, wish him all the health, wealth and happiness. Hope the industry is kind to him. ❤

[@mary-janereallynotsarah684]

Yeah the industry is hard and he seems sensitive. I hope he doesn't win all the way and can pick his own contract.

[@NicolaMaxwell]

​@@mary-janereallynotsarah684 Yep, the contracts are messed up. If he signs with these labels he loses so much freedom. The music industry is a dark one at times😢

[@HoosierSHU]

I lived in Kahuku for a while. When I lived there, it was a really poor town. Families don't make a lot of money while homes are getting more expensive. I'm sure that hasn't changed much. 💔 My heart breaks for this kid. I love his talent. Raw emotion. 💔😭 We just lost our nephew last week and this song while it brought out the tears, it was so beautiful. I actually needed this.

[@My1reddog]

🌹

[@KCKR710]

Definitely a tear jerker. Just watched the clip before starting this video smh..whew. Lost my son almost 9 months ago, and even though its about a father and son, the song still impacted me. This is one heck of a special song to listen too. Shout out to anyone else thats lost so much and felt so deeply....❤

[@dpie]

I'm so sorry for your loss. 🧡

[@KCKR710]

@@dpie ty...💙

[@ThatsBoujee]

🤗🙏🏾 I’m sorry for your loss. 💔❤️‍🩹

[@TheBehavioralArts]

I’m so sorry ❤️ I can’t even imagine a little bit what that would be like

[@KCKR710]

Thank you all for your condolences, it's very kind of you. 😊❤️

[@Polynasian808]

Most of us from hawaii are genuine and try to share aloha with others around the world. We could care less about materialism, fame, or money but everything is centered around God, family, and our culture. It’s interesting from this perspective that there is a whole science to being genuine. Thank you for this video and much love from hawaii🤙🏽🤙🏽

[@Irish.liquorice]

❤

[@honeyholly001]

The saying is couldn't care less

[@elouise5593]

So sad that many of you are being priced out by others!

[@lovepeoplehu9883]

Not anymore. Happy Pride month.

[@honeybadger3570]

Thank you for sharing this. I never would have viewed such beauty w/o your suggestion 🙏❤ This man DESERVES to live in his homeland w/o being "Priced out" by rich and greedy buying their homelands paradise

[@daymarie1111]

Lost my dad when I was 14, it's been 20 years and it still hurts like hell. My heart goes out to this young man.

[@TxCarrie]

Oh. Wow. This evoked so much emotion in me. His delivery was so genuine and beautiful. My almost 19 year old daughter, who I share music with, has been taking care of me since she was 11. I just found out I'm nearing the end of my journey faster than I realized. The line about his turn to chase the monsters away slated me. This man is so beautiful in his soul. Thank you for sharing this today. I've been having a hard time processing my news and this helped, believe it or not. You're the best.

[@apricotcookie4850]

I'm sorry your journey's end is closer than you expected. I wish you peace and comfort during this time. May you and your daughter be blessed for your love, strength and devotion.

[@TxCarrie]

@@apricotcookie4850 Thank you for your kindness. I have had so many blessings.

[@LoveMusic-pd5iz]

May you and your daughter know peace within this journey.

[@SimplyHavenHomestead]

Sending you my love. May God bless you with peace and comfort. 💕

[@gilbertonanez4404]

In Jesus name I will pray for you and your family.

[@djbantern3806]

This audition was so moving i watched it as soon as I saw your thumbnail, before I even clicked on this video.

[@SheIsNikiandMai]

This is the first time I’m watching one of your videos and I’m blown away. Iam is a treasure from our Islands and you really brought forth this analysis with so much aloha and respect. I’ll be sharing this and subscribing sir. Mahalo, for putting such care and aloha into this and in all you do🌸🤙🏼

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow. Thanks so much. Means the world to me that you enjoyed this as someone who has a deep understanding of this young man’s cultural background ❤️ thank you so much

[@nancymeppen329]

I just discovered Iam, yesterday and am obsessing on videos of him, now. I was tearing up, again, just listening to your observations. You are SPOT ON with the Polynesian culture! Most are deeply Spiritual and “FAMILY” is EVERYTHING! Iam reminds me of Christopher Cross. His singing is soothing and comforting. I can’t wait to hear more of his future. Thank you, for sharing! This audition put all involved on the same level, no rich, no poor, no judges, no contestants just people getting together to enjoy a God given talent. It took us to an enjoyable realm, for a minute!

[@tammydee143allday]

Well said 💙

[@kennethsetiu4995]

Thank you for taking the time to see, hear and feel all the positives of the audition. Iam Tongi is special. You mentioned Polynesians being spiritual. Again, thank you for paying attention to us as people of the Pacific who hold strong spiritual beliefs about life and death. Like Dwayne Johnson and Jason Momoa, the Iam is made of honor, humility, and respect that his Tongan family and Hawaiian communities have instilled in him. May more healing tears flow as we validate the importance of Father and Son connections of aloha and love.

[@Reecewayas]

He sees and feels his dad there with him and beside him and looks up to see if it’s real and realizes the reality of dad Rodney being gone and looks away to keep from getting caught up in the emotion. A true entertainer and storyteller. Go on little brother tell the world your story. Rest in love Rodney ❤️🤟🏽

[@marydodsonmt]

Six years ago, my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and asked my siblings and me to sing at their party. My younger brother, who's a professional singer (and quite a good actor as well) told me later that early in the program, he tried to look out into the crowd to connect with the audience. He saw people getting emotional and had to look away so he wouldn't be affected by it. I think that's part of the reason why Iam keeps his eyes closed throughout the performance, because he doesn't want to see the effect he's having on the judges to avoid an emotional overload. But I'm not disagreeing with you that he's also thinking about his dad. I think it's likely that he's doing both: blocking out other people's emotions while holding in the memories of his dad. Whatever he was doing, it was spectacularly effective. What a pure performance.

[@2enigma8]

Yeah I think better by closing my eyes, looking at people is a distraction, I can’t come up with a story (for my daughter) with my eyes open or on her. I need to get into my head to deliver .

[@irismartinez5753]

His performance made me cry, I lost my dad in 2003, and I still feel the pain it doesn't go away.

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

I just lost my father unexpectedly at age 60. My dad taught me guitar so this video hit on so many levels. With having to be strong for my family, starting a new position the following week, among other life struggles, I know exactly how hard he was trying to hold back those tears. Phenomenal video Spidey and very heartfelt. With all the negativity online it's times like this it really brings everyone together. Life is too short 💔 Follow your dreams, never give up, and tell those you love them everyday is what I've learned

[@My1reddog]

🌹

[@lanaladenhauser]

For me, this was one of the best videos you put out there, because it's so different from the rest. You focused on the beauty of pure emotion and nailed it. It's fascinating to learn what empathy does to us, and WHY we feel the honesty (or lack of it) from another person. Your comparisons are on point, the way you give examples with your own gestures and facial expressions makes so much difference because it's not that you just talk about something or explain something, you show it as well. I could write so much about this video, it's just brilliant, and it tells us a lot about you, and who you are inside. A wonderful human being with so much respect for everyone. I hope you do more of these kinds of videos, we need the raw emotion, the beauty of sadness and empathy, and being a vulnerable human. Thank you for such a special analysis and for alyways being you and following your heart! You can't miss!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow, thanks so much Lana. I know you’re always active in the comments so it means a ton to me that this one has a special place in your heart, as it does in mine 🤗

[@cerisewilson4088]

I saw this the night it aired, was deeply impacted. I hope this guy wins the whole thing.

[@2436golden]

I don't think him being given a sentimental win will serve him in the long run. He will win based on sentimental feelings alone and then no one will hear of him again. If you go on talent alone he is not the most talented person there.

[@koutanot]

May the best sob story win?

[@cerisewilson4088]

@@koutanot American Idol certainly loves a good sob story.

[@johnfleming6236]

I think he’s marginally talented at best. Hopefully America will stop falling for this sob story year after year!

[@michaeldandrea9648]

@@2436golden how do you not believe this man is talented?

[@crystalbluewaters]

Love Iam's enthusiasm & natural born talent he has for his music. Once he opens up & lets loose, he soars & the magic happens. The way he emotes & conveys the message in his songs, it can be uplifting or hit you like a truck. Very few musicians have the capability to do this for me, many it takes decades to craft. This kiddo is only 18 years old, has old school soul & hawaiian flare that i absolutely love. His future is very promising! His duet with oliver steele "save your tears" had me choked up as well. It was a song that played religiously on the radio during a hard time health ways for my daughter. Each time i felt like crying, i'd hear that song, stifle back the emotions and save my tears for the day she graduated. The judds song "grandpa" that he did a year or so ago, was one i loved as i was really close to my papa. Iams choices in songs as he mentioned are his way to convey what words can not in how he feels. He's amazing!

[@mahoop]

He has a soothing beautiful voice and a humble, gentle presence.

[@WaltRBuck]

This.. I'm grateful that you did this and broke it up. I've never heard the song, nor have I seen this audition. I couldn't have handled the whole thing at once. I'm a man who walked his father through the last 3 years of his life. We didn't walk alone. My brother and his wife were there. My family, his siblings and mother were there. But I was there through some of the toughest parts. He developed dementia, and he fought monsters. They were real to him, VERY real. All times of day he'd fight them, and times he'd give in to them, and I'd fight them for him. They were illusions and hallucinations of every kind brought on by the disease. My father passed just over a year ago, after valiantly battling this terminal illness. This song.. dang I can't listen to it and it might be a LONG time before I can but the lyrics are real to me. Very very real.

[@debbiebeaulieu6787]

The song is so,so beautiful 😢🎶

[@sharonroyal1410]

Bless you.. how beautiful to hear of your loving care for your dad. He must have been a wonderful father to have earned such devotion. Praying for comfort and peace for you.

[@robbilove]

I started watching your videos during the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial and I was hooked but when I saw you posted this one I HAD to watch! I am from Hawai’i and I am also a singer. My entire family are musicians and for Hawaiians, singing together is a form of love! So this was super interesting to me. You are ON POINT but the part that really made me agree with you is when you noticed when he looks to the side and you say it’s because he’s used to singing with his dad and can hear him. This was exactly my thought. I sing exactly like that and yes we are super spiritual. When I sing I sing with my loved ones so I close my eyes and can hear them harmonizing with me. You analyze this perfectly and you’re not even Hawaiian lol Love this video!!!!!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

That’s so awesome that you can relate to his emotions like that and the cultural aspect is so cool as well ❤️ glad you enjoyed the video 🤗

[@Irish.liquorice]

❤

[@iluvjake1000]

I’m absolutely enchanted with your statement: “singing together is a form of love”.

[@killergma]

Wow..I just saw the full clip…and Ouch…the memory of me whispering into my grandmother’s ear (she who raised us as her own children) that we will be ok so she could let go now came flooding back and I just can’t stop crying….amazingly powerful performance

[@dmarie388]

Because Iam Tongi BROUGHT his Aloha/Polynesian spirit, he wore his heart on his sleeve: He sang with his ❤️, passion and his STRONG love for his father.

[@mary-janereallynotsarah684]

OK wow! As soon as u said there's a link I was on it like white on rice. I have been avoiding this but since u know the tricks I finally gave it a chance! I agree he was holding back hard which is nice to see. I hate the sob story stuff on these shows they are so gross, on display, blah... but this guy is genuine. And even weirder, the judges! Wtf! So weird. I LOVE Lionel for his reaction. It was equal parts funny and touching. When he started singing holy crap. And the lyrics omg!!! I totally cried 😭 he's magical. And I totally had the same thought about him seeing his dad. I dunno why. I haven't seen his utube. I didn't know what else it could be. Love ur analysis. U often give words to my feelings or say what I'm already thinking, no where more than in this video! That guy is like the first time American Idol has felt worth watching after Adam Lambert.

[@asinatefotu5289]

Agreed

[@manfrommaine1194]

This is one of the most emotional performances of all time. This is the most likable dude and we will know him for a long time, and this audition will last forever

[@scottmarleneking6298]

I think there's an even more soul-wrecking possibility for why Tongi reacted hard to the line "You can feel my hand on your own", and that's that he was remembering the actual feeling of holding his father's hand as he was passing. I'm one of those guys that never cries, but I was literally sobbing when I watched that audition. Blunt's lyrics are incredible-- a grown son singing with affection and forgiveness to a flawed father, which is what I hope my sons would want to sing to me.

[@MsEJMcLaren]

I agree with you. The way he delivered that line broke my heart. It made me remember holding my Dad's hand the day he died. Without that expression on his face and the expression in his voice I don't think it would have made me cry so hard. I could tell without being a body language expert that he was remembering.💔

[@roby.3428]

I am autistic. I don't feel emotion the same way others do. This audition hit. I have a hard time singing along, even as a trained vocalist. You can hear the raw emotion in his voice, and it grips you.

[@sulhwayuk6228]

you’re so right. my father passed away after a week in the hospital and i will always remember holding his hand at his bedside. the feeling of his fingers in between mine. Iam probably longs to feel his fathers hands everytime he sings that line

[@jeanninebagley6354]

Anyone who lost they’re parent , especially for me maybe a parent who was flawed , but who you shared a closeness with … it takes everything to choke back the tears

[@ThomasBearsOfficial]

Man I'm crying and I have no relatable experience to what Iam has gone through, that's the power of music 🙏❤️

[@paguilarfacebook]

Beautiful song, amazing performance, i'm almost certain that Iam made us all cry our hearts out... We love you so so muuch Spidey!!! Thank you very much!!!! ❤❤❤❤ (Your second theory is the correct, in that moment, the reality of not having his dad by his side strikes him again, aaaand we're all crying again 😭😭😭)

[@Angeleyez37tx]

I was super emotional over this performance. I have lost both parents and it’s been hard for a long time. I do believe with all my heart that Ian was in his own world and singing with his dad, when he opened his eyes, and didn’t see him, it hit him all over gain. He is a very special young man with a wonderful soul and talent. You can hear it & see it!!

[@mrsangelafisher]

🎯 Yes that's exactly what I thought too. When he opened his eyes and didn't see him it hurt all over.

[@trishadupper01]

I didn't think it would get me. But it got me too. 😢😢😢 Was that 45 minutes. When I first started listening I thought, ' he's not the smoothest or best singer that I have heard.' HOWEVER, it is his delivery. He is sincere. He is giving it everything he's got. Not because he has too but because that is his way. And I was just listening to your clips, not the full audition and he tore my heart out. 😢😢😢 Very impactful.

[@kayakingirl7252]

The first time I saw this sweet boy sing, I bawled like a baby. Ive never had a reaction like that to a song. I hope to see and hear much more of him ❤

[@judyyougotthis]

I lost my dad over 20 years ago, but this performance peeled back the years instantly. So touching and genuine, as opposed to AH and her selling it. Nothing but the best for Iam!!

[@betsybarnhouse5002]

Thank you Spidy! I was surprised to see this on your channel! Iam is not only a great story teller, he is a wonderful human being😊

[@crystalbluewaters]

It surprised me too & i had misgivings. Still do kind of, as a mom with kids around Iams age i feel protective. Iam himself stated in one of his cameo talks before a performance that he is not much of a talker, but conveys how he feels through his choices & music. I understand he's entering a field where privacy is pretty much nonexistant & hard to find, but going in on detail his expressions & gestures feels a little invasive.

[@thomasrios3913]

@@crystalbluewaters I’ve never disagreed with anything more. The delicate approach he used to cover this was breathtaking to me. None of this felt like he was trying to bank on Iam’s story, he purposely chose to not monetize the video because he wants to share the purity of the story. Iam went on a show knowing they were going to highlight this story. American idol has no problem showing the most vulnerable moments. Spidey didn’t touch those. There are many scenes after the audition where there’s a lot of emotion but they’re pretty straight forward and he didn’t cover those gratuitously. In fact he only focused on Iam’s body language to demonstrate how strong and real he is. The rest was about the judges. If you read through the comments you’ll see how many people connected with that strength that they hadn’t noticed. This was handled beautifully and delicately with love and compassion and I find you reducing it to “going in on detail his expressions and gestures” is insensitive and ignores the true intention and spirit of this analysis.

[@crystalbluewaters]

@@thomasrios3913 i get what you are saying as well as watched the entire video comprehending spidey's intention which was of a sensitive nature. I like spidey & his abilities to convey body language. He's one of the good ones. I'm going though off the other side of my thinking. Most episodes have been done about bad people with bad intentions or actions. Watching this on a reverse side of the spectrum where the subject is on an 18yr old humble, kind & caring person, feels to me a bit different. I'm a mom myself & protective of my kids regardless of how old they are, but happen to be a year to 4 years older than Iam. When it broached on his audition performance, it bordered the line as if peering through a looking glass to prove whether or not iam's emotions were genuine, or if his intentions of revealing his story were coming from a genuine place. It didn't go beyond the line, but i've a right to my opinion & how this video content made me feel. Again, i like spidey's content. I'm a mama bear no matter how old my kids are & stage in life, this also applies to others in the younger generation. It's how i was raised.

[@overwatchking8842]

@@thomasrios3913 100% agree. The analysis made me appreciate the performance so much more. I thought it was incredible

[@noise6869]

Thanks for your passion and for choosing once again to be honest with yourserlf (your heart) and with all of us.❤

[@noise6869]

It's always so interesting listening to you about all the topics you cover!

[@thekarmicdf]

My dad has cancer and this is my biggest fear. Thank you for just sharing his story. We all need reminders of what really matters in life. Tomorrow's never promised.

[@thepershins]

Being born & raised in Hawaii I 100% agree w/your comment about Hawaiians/Polynesians/locals being spiritual. My dad passed away almost 30 years ago & Iams singing this song just brought me to my knees. He's singing from his heart to his dad

[@SuperZytoon]

Iam is a rare young man. His talent is far above the rest. He sings from his heart and in this case he sings from a broken heart. I agree with you that he wishes to keep his sorrow internal. I wish him all the luck in the sky. He has a natural gift and a human spirit that makes feel as though we know him.

[@Blinstrubsgal]

YOU held me captive for 45 minutes. Iam is the one! I’ve FELT it from the beginning!

[@cloudydaez]

Because this boy lost his dad not just 2 months ago and he hits a nerve with the song he chose … the lyrics the way he sang the song the way he felt. That all came through with his performance. I’m pretty sure a lot of people connected because we all have fathers many of us have lost our fathers so it hits us fair in the eyes and that’s why we are moved…but more then that he’s so humble his spirit touches your heart he’s real so genuine it’s what you see is what you get there’s no pretence about him. I’ve followed him from this first audition and I’ve found out so much about him and his family. He’s the most caring unselfish person always thinking of others kind respectful loving… without all the analysis about body language etc he’s just a pure person and we need so many more of them in this world. Lovely sweet guy and his mum and dad have raised him to be this person. It’s really a revelation…..and man can he sing his voice is like velvet!!

[@theeclecticnest5343]

My word for Katie's head shake was "incredulity" so yeah disbelief... I do believe he was seeing his father beside him. It takes years to adjust to the loss of such an important person. For the longest time I would hear my mother's keys coming in the door. The void left by a best friend/parent is unfathomable until you experience it. If you want more raw emotions watch James Blunt sing it. He is the greatest songwriter of this generation. Great work!

[@puananihoku7302]

I completely agree with all you said! someone said James Blunt reached out to Iam to thank him for singing his song. So many of us never heard it before (it came out in 2019) and it has become popular all over again. It was crazy emotional watching James sing to his dad. I also believe Iam was seeing his daddy next to him. My mommy use to wear a lot of bracelets so she jingled when she walked. After she passed for a few days we would hear her bracelets jingle and smile saying mommy we miss you and we are ok. I love this young man and his story telling, his pureness and love through his music.

[@rethabracher9034]

Ì lost my dad a couple of months ago and this song woken so many emotions. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us.

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

I just lost my dad too. He taught me to play guitar when I was little. This video was hard to watch but almost therapeutic. God bless ❤ Prayers for you

[@hayleyb467]

so sorry for your loss 🖤 love from texas

[@patientzero5685]

So sorry for your loss.

[@Irish.liquorice]

❤

[@janessadaga6370]

I cry everytime I watch his audition & I thought this analysis wouldn’t have an impact on me but I’m a sobbing wreck!

[@crazynanaailese]

I don't watch American idol anymore. Thank you once again. Spidey, when I say you changed my life. It's an understatement.

[@shaunanorman4804]

You should watch it’s amazing this year

[@usattfan2836]

Thank you for explaining why this had such an emotional impact on us. I cry ever time I watch it. I literally sobbed hysterically at the finale when he sang it with James Blunt.

[@darlaleasure4924]

It hit me . I went through it when my Dad passed not so long ago. I went through it when mom passed. How the child becomes the parent in the end. This made me cry .

[@ShepherdsCreek]

Thanks for having such a wonderful, beautiful heart, Spidey!

[@SHMZ-B]

This was amazing! It's great to watch some non deceptive body language for a change because we get to see how emotions are supposed to look when they flow naturally. I went from sobbing to laughing through out this video, your humour is awesome.

[@LadyAmaranda]

I cried all throughout the performance and this video. I wonder if Lionel is the only judge to have gone through losing a father. He clearly must have been close with his dad. Great video, Spidey!

[@DonnasWonderland]

Oh my goodness stopped as soon as you said pause this video went straight over and balled 😢and also cried whilst watching your clips. So emotional and such a wonderful analysis. It makes me incredibly sad knowing anyone is priced out of living in their homeland and I know that this family isn’t the only Hawaiian family to be in this position it’s heart breaking and to have lost his dad at such a young age too I really feel for him. I’m with you on that second option of his look over his shoulder the squint was almost like he was trying to push away the reality that hit not seeing his dad right there 💔

[@AlainLemay69]

Thanks for doing this. I have said a few times now that there are no doubt better technical singers on the show but none that can pack as much heart and emotion in a song as he can.

[@hikariyamato6595]

Watched the full audition before continuing the video, and I just wanted to say this: I FELT the emotions coming through his music, even with my eyes closed and not looking at the screen. There is so much that you can hear from just the way the voice cracks, vibrates, tone, pitch, and placement in the mouth that nothing visual can give away. Of course it can help with selling the story, but with music quite often it will leak through even if the song is a happy song. The emotions and history behind the song choice will always seep through, just like how our body can always let others know our true feelings unconsciously.

[@katharinavoigt3590]

Hey Spidey, I am a trained psychologist and psychotherapist and I LOVE that I get to learn more and more from each of your videos. And somehow you manage to have a perfect balance of introducing new topics and repeating the tools you are so generously teaching us. This was an especially moving one and one that is extremely relevant for my work. Will look out for that eye flutter to give my patients time to process. Lots of love from Germany

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Thanks so much for the kind words! I’m glad you’re finding value in these videos 😊

[@ryvirkelley5047]

I'm so glad you will keep talking about the "no" gesture until you're blue in the face. Thank you for that because it really is needed.

[@manifestcrypto4955]

I was so moved by the segments that you showed. Tears without seeing the entire audition. The love that he has for his Dad (that they had such a tender relationship), his beautifully rich melodic voice, his humility and authenticity. So touching. I really appreciate all that you convey to us about what the behaviors and nuances can mean. I also appreciate the respect, tenderness that you express towards the people whom you are analyzing. Thank you.

[@tevitavakalahi7764]

Seriously one of the best breakdowns I’ve heard. Definitely a new fan like and subscribe. We rooting for you Iam!!!

[@WendyParmley]

I cried through the audition the first time I saw it. And again through this video. Thanks for reviewing with sensitivity.

[@joytibbetts2452]

I have worked with many people over 30 years. I was so interested in your insight. I wondered about the huge impact Iam had on everyone. We have not seen the whole impact he has had yet. I believe what the entire world has gone through with untimely death of Millions of people. We all connected immediately. Our feelings are raw and real from loss. Iam bridged a gaping hole in our hearts.

[@user-ts5sl5or9b]

This was so real, he made a grown man cry!

[@SherlockedStorytellr]

Oh Spidey, why you gotta get me like that? 😭I made it through the full clip somehow but as soon as I realised where your Dad theory was going I was in absolute floods! 😭😭😭

[@Grumpyk1d]

I went to watch the video first because I wanted to feel the full weight of the emotions before diving into the analysis and I am so glad I did. Not only because this performance was beautiful but because it made the analysis hit so much harder. For example, when Ian turns his head and opens his eyes.. before you even mentioned the thought about his father I was thinking that and when you verbalized it it almost destroyed me. The idea that he got so lost in the song and the performance that for even a SECOND he opened his eyes looking for his dad to be there.... One thing I always look for in these types of shows (and yes, guilty pleasure, I watch them quite often) is for someone to take a song and make it there own. Ian absolutely did that; as Katy Perry said, he (Ian) could have written this himself. It felt so genuine and he had so much emotion in his voice without emphasizing the emotion. And as you mentioned that is what hits the hardest, the fact that he wasn't trying to be emotional or using his story for sympathy. So often on these shows it is the contestant that brings up there recent turmoil, but for Ian it was almost like he would have preferred to not talk about it. He didn't want it to sway people because he has a genuine gift and that is what matters. Absolutely wonderful person (Ian), fantastic performance, and as always excellent analysis from the one and only Spidey!

[@zeenatbaer138]

I'm so glad you brought this audition to everyone's attention... (I often watch American Idol.)..and yes I found it so emotional and pure. Personally I feel that Iam's look to the right nearer the end of his song was more like a look of desperation, that the emotion was about to overwhelm him and he wouldn't be able to finish the song, like a split second of 'how am I going to get through this' and looking away from the judges to find that extra strength, because to look at them he would have crumbled as he was really welling up... and yes it probably was a subconscious repeat of searching for his dad's presence for support. Such a lovely, lovely, genuine young man. Great analysis as usual !

[@centristpatriot7945]

His voice touches people’s emotions releasing their internal hidden feelings bringing it out into the light. Iam is not just singing for entertainment. He is connecting people to their spiritual inner space which was lost when we moved from the world of pure innocent children to the world of cynical adults. This is a rare talent that many people around the world are so overjoyed to find. It’s like you found a long lost friend - and that friend is the puré and innocent you. 😊

[@colishaevabless]

I believe this is what I truly love the most about him....his innocence. So he doesn't need to pretend....I lost my mom recently and I couldn't understand why this song was making me fall to pieces and just cried, then I realized I never got to truly let her go....

[@colishaevabless]

I don't know if I have in the space of time but I was able to grieve which I wasn't able to do because I just felt like I couldn't breathe when I think about her. The fact that I'm able to cry has allowed me to process the. Emotions that I just couldn't process before... I Love him I thank him and I sure needed him. I just didn't know it❤

[@ThatsBoujee]

🤍🤍🤍🤍 sweet video Spidey! I believe the second theory: he feels his dad’s spirit but can’t see his physical body 💔 poor baby 😩😭 Pure empathy from the judges was heartwarming because like you said it wasn’t put on display.

[@DAF6508]

Hey there! I’ve watched several of your videos and I really enjoy them, but this one is my new favorite. This is the first video I’ve seen where you analyze genuine sadness and grief. It’s really powerful! I want to speak on your 2nd theory regarding Iam’s look to the side when he sings “you could feel my hand…” It could be that, as you said, he’s lost in the moment and envisioning his father standing beside him, hearing the harmony his father would be singing. But the moment he opens his eyes, the realization hits him that his father is gone and he will never sing with him again, causing a fresh wave of grief. To me, this would explain the no gesture. Like he was lost in the music, envisioning his father and hearing his voice, and then reality hits and it’s like an “oh no, I can’t take this” moment. I watched the whole audition and if I remember correctly, he never really recovered after that moment. 😔 It was heartbreaking yet beautiful to watch. Thank you for your videos! Keep ‘‘em coming!!!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Thanks for the kind comment. I absolutely agree with your theory. It’s actually what I meant but you expressed it much much better than me 😊. I touched on this in my top comment but you explained it beautifully. Thanks for watching and commenting

[@janineheuts7838]

Thank you for this video. Not as a son but as a daughter I've had to say goodbye to my dad. Letting him go to sleep to get rid of all the pain he had. Telling each other that we've said all we had to say to each other, that nothing was left unspoken. Saying our goodbyes with our hearts filled with love. He wanted me to sing at his funeral but was afraid to ask. I told him he could ask and I would sing and did, of course. As it was 10 years ago I was certain I could watch this video without breaking down.... 2 notes into the song and tears started flowing.. It touched my heart... So sincere and honest, his singing. Even writing this down and thinking of his performance the tears start to come again. You're analysis is also so on point.. Thank you so much for this video.

[@jamesdelacruz1294]

It’s amazing that I said to Iam in a post I shared on FB that I could hear his father still Spiritually singing with him. It blows my mind you shared Iam hears his father’s harmonies while he sings. It tugs at my ❤

[@mismag822]

Once again you made 45 minutes fly by.

[@charlesbrown8117]

You were one of the first I watched when I started doing magic, really appreciate you helping me get started on my journey!

[@suzer77539]

💯

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Thanks man! Always appreciate your support 🤗

[@ingenious5480]

Haha that’s a good way to explain his videos

[@tannerpoulis3156]

bro what, the last person I’d expect to see in comments lol one of the first people I subscribed to and certainly what made me understand, appreciate, and love cards and card magic. Thank you man! Hope you’re doing well, lots of love ❤️

[@robinlinette3298]

the hearing his father sing, for years i would play the piano with my father singing by my side, when he passed away I had a hard time playing without breaking down because i could hear him so vividly singing.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

I think this is exactly right. I’m sorry for you loss 😔

[@DoctorsSong]

I may update this comment as a watch your video Spidey. But I went and watched his whole audition....and wow.. I don't tear up at things on tv or movies very much....i teared up....just wow.

[@realghoststories1210]

Went to watch him sing before coming back to the video. And man this kid had me crying.

[@jasminestone6531]

damn Spidy this just hit me so hard. I even paused to watch the audition video before your analysis, thinking I was preparing myself. Had goosebumps watching the audition on it's own but with your commentary I was tearing up the whole time. Great insight as always. I especially agree when you say "James Blunt is unreasonable."

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it. James Blunt is absolutely unreasonable! Glad we agree 😂

[@mjblue84]

Thank you for this video. From the first audition, I sensed Iam was not there for his "ego." He was there to share his feelings through his music. This is what makes him so authentic and special.

[@PerfectlyIimperfect1]

Thank you. It’s validating to know that someone else perceives the world as I do. I truly appreciate you 🥰

[@DrMIS1]

I watched this when it was first broadcast and watched the entire season. We gave him the maximum number of votes every week and were happy when he won the season. Every performance of his made us cry. There's just something about his delivery that elicits an emotional response. His choice of songs helped that too.

[@annak8109]

And after I composed myself and thought I was done crying, your reaction at 28:16 brought back the tears. I felt how deeply you were impacted by those lyrics that you lost your words. So humane.. You were very moving too not just the video.

[@oksanaml9279]

I was afraid this might be too clinical but it was so heartfelt. Ive watched so many reactions and he brings every single person to tears, as well as my own, every single time. Iam has the power not to "fracture" souls, but to heal them. I can't wait to see what else he does on Idol. Every performance he's more at ease and enjoying the experience. He also has vids jamming with fellow contestants. Im a fan of both of you Spidey!

[@felicityedwards1306]

28:11 THANK YOU for acknowledging how *brilliant* the "I'm not your son/you're not my father/we're just two grown men saying goodbye" line is. I swear I saw so many comments on the original video, Iam Tongis, and countless reaction videos saying they didn't understand or that line, or that they didn't like it, or even that they thought it meant James Blunt wasn't close with his father. (I believe James took it from what his father said to him when he was deployed in the military.) James Blunt said about that line: "That's why the words to Monsters say, 'I'm not your son, and you're not my father, we're just two grown men saying goodbye, we need to forgive and we need to forget, I know your mistakes and you know mine.' "Those are kind of risky things to say because you hope they're not misunderstood or taken the wrong way, but they say something deeper than just 'I love you, you're my father, I love you as my friend as well"." "But at the same time, at the other end of the scale, I have a new young family, and so I thought of life playing out in front of me. And with that circle of life, that's a real huge inspiration to write this album." Also: at the time of writing and releasing the song, James father was diagnosed with terminal kidney failure and there was no match. James was saying goodbye. But the songs popularity lead to a distant cousin being tested and was found to be a match!

[@karenwilliamson7425]

Relieved from info you shared about auditions and sob stories. I liked him but super critical about his talent, because is it the story? I give… I ❤ Iam! I have been in tears many times and he is just amazing to listen to

[@laladoute1730]

Dude I got so into this video...I forgot and burnt my freaking pizza! lol

[@aliselynch]

If you liked this audition, I HIGHLY suggest doing Nightbirde's (Jane) audition for America's Got Talent. Lots you could do with that one, including Simon Cowell's reactions. It's incredibly heart wrenching and inspirational, esp with Squirrel in mind, too.

[@LoveRise]

Yes you must not miss it…extraordinary.

[@lindyross7836]

Thank you so much for explaining this unprecedented reaction to this amazing emotional talent. I actually cried when he performed "Monsters"; he touched my heart. Your explanation helped me understand.

[@Moonflower52]

When he was singing the song I was thinking about my mother that passed away. I definitely was crying through the whole song

[@MsCrazymomof3]

If you watch Iam's videos, he includes almost all of the AI contestants to harmonize with. It is amazing how he befriends everyone. A true gift! The simplest songs are amazing!

[@jennamenzies3652]

Another excellent video Spidey. My interpretation of the lip pulling on one side was that he was trying to mask or stop any lip/chin trembling.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Ooooo smart! That makes a lot of sense. I’m trying to flex my chin right now and that lip curl is happening. Good call!

[@sandraesparza717]

You validated so many of our thoughts about Iam’s humbleness, kindness and empathy. That is the reason so many of us can connect to him. Thank You for sharing this with us.

[@willwetherington]

He has his eyes closed because he sees his dad and to him they are there together! I love it.

[@carolhannon3753]

I’m very new to your channel, this is only my second viewing, and it is fascinating! I was a mess after, first, watching the full audition. My sense was that when Iam looked right, at that moment, he truly and maybe physically felt his father there singing with him and the quick hard squint was the pain of realizing he’s back here, on this plane, alone without him. It was sad and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your work!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Yeah. I think that’s what it is. You expressed it so well. It’s so sad.

[@aleigha9141]

Wowwww! I watched his whole audition and he is just amazing and unbelievable. I hope he takes his talent a long way in life and really reaps the rewards. He deserves it 😊thank you for your analysis Spidey! Everyone was emotional and just moved by Iam’s story and performance. What a talented young man ❤

[@shelleyszulinszky9732]

Im here with tears in my eyes. This young man is beautiful. Best of life Spidey ❤✌️👍

[@purplelamington279]

I'm Polynesian and I cried watching his audition because I see these types of things happening all the time. I know waaaaay too many islanders who have lost a parent at a young age and it's painful watching them trying to keep it together whenever someone brings up parents in a conversation, this always happens around mothers and fathers day.