Tomb Raider - The Movie Everybody Forgot

[@PossumReviews]

So they had Lara reject her father's wealth to make her more relatable for common, everyday people, even though any common, everyday person would take the money?

[@moonlitskylight5740]

Yep. Because media thinks people like to relate to being poor for some reason.

[@shanezielinski7418]

They're called SJWs. And like all of them they are forgettable but for the fact they are puritan snobs... EXACTLY like the actress that played Lara in this remake of the VIDEO GAME remake!!

[@Gunth0r]

@@godric443 oh you schooled him hahaha

[@RainbowUnicorn-_-]

@@godric443 free money from stripping? or onlyfans? camgirl work?

[@F0XRunner]

Drinker at one point talks about a hot tub, but I think people were looking at something else.

[@25xxfrostxx]

If she had been rich, she could have hired the Angelina Jolie version to actually find her father.

[@Maleik]

Touchè 😂

[@sohelshaikh6165]

Noice😂

[@Brad772006]

Yeeaaahhhh!!!!

[@NinjaBusCow]

Damn, that is true.

[@mw9688]

Hired?..... not likely... the A.J. version is unbelievably rich also. Could probably just mention it...and then she’d do it just for fun.

[@saturn580]

"Bury me inside a tomb full of elaborate traps so nobody will find my diseased corpse. But also install a mummy sit-up scare prank inside my coffin, just in case they do." -Japanese Sorcerer Lady

[@pennydreadful5163]

Himiko: "Just Because"

[@juliannah5721]

I ugly laughed at that

[@DS-mi9ru]

And why not just bury her 100 meters underground, covered with rock and soil. Why make a tunnel with traps to her location? It makes zero sense.

[@TSPH1992]

So you see...

[@warcheef]

By the way, the real Himiko died in 248 AD, when none of those traps or mechanisms could be made.

[@bobsnow69]

"The script needs the rest of the plot to happen" is now my favorite phrase.

[@Tyler45nilbog]

Good for you Jasper

[@six2make4]

How you know the writers are from privileged backgrounds: "So we have this rich character right, but instead of living with all their luxury and stuff they chose to just live with poor people, isn't that so much cooler and better!?" Spoiler: No, being poor sucks ass.

[@henrytownshend6441]

Amen!

[@dmthandmade5674]

Sing along with the common people.

[@StarWarsomania]

There were legit reasons she might have been poor, such as if Suspicious Business Lady instead stole Lara's money. So in order to find her dad, she has to work with Sketchy Military Person who ends up being Villian. Not great, but five minutes of thinking got a better premise than this multi-million dollar film.

[@Alloniya]

So you watch movies just to see how rich people lives

[@randomthegreat2329]

Carlos Maza approves :3

[@BrianGarcia711NY]

“It’s just like Raiders of the Lost Ark. Only...not good.”

[@itbesilly4544]

They cut out the supernatural aspect of it too. Basically a Zombie virus, bleh🤮

[@scottcantdance804]

I honestly don't even remember that they made this movie.

[@rockerboyrage1609]

Best description. Ha

[@JohnDoe-wq5eu]

I couldn't even tell you what year this movie came out. 2017,2018 I know it's been years already but it was so forgettable it was so quickly forgotten basically instantly.

[@TheEvertw]

You chose -- poorly.

[@HBG313]

One of the rare times that hollywood had an ACTUAL strong ORIGINAL female to work with and.........

[@claypotts2334]

The world is upside down

[@darianstarfrog]

Go fig

[@LoneWolfRanging]

I thought it was Harry Potter post surgery

[@ninjablack4347]

its because they get hacks to write the script.

[@scottneil1187]

It's not a remake, it's an entirely different story based on the tomb raider reboot game.

[@pandaman1331]

"Tomb Raider - The Movie Everyone forgot" Me: there was a new Tomb Raider movie?

[@rogersmith7396]

The guy behind me puked. I remember that.

[@pandaman1331]

@@rogersmith7396 I guess that was the most memorable moment in that movie

[@AFMR0420]

@@rogersmith7396 you were sitting in front of me?

[@somethinglikethat2176]

For real. I was thinking that is wasn't that forgettable but I was thinking of the old one.

[@CK......]

My reaction exactly.

[@suwacc3237]

To be fair, getting arrested for being run over in the UK is probably one of the few accurate plot points.

[@TheSuperappelflap]

big oof

[@Cartoonman154]

Cyclists don't give a fuck over here.

[@sweetmcnasty]

@@Cartoonman154 Cyclists in the US are pretentious jerks that are oblivious to everyone around them. They can go choke on their spandex.

[@Sakaki98]

@@sweetmcnasty Lol

[@notaperson916]

@@sweetmcnasty yeah, in my experience, they don't don't use the bike lane that was painted FOR THEM. Always on the fuckin 40+mph roads endangering themselves and everyone else

[@samgott8689]

Why does her dad dress like he’s “vaguely-Victorian era explorer man” in those flashbacks? Shouldn’t he have what the late 1990’s considered business-smart and not the 1880’s? Like, all he’s missing is a pith hat and monocle

[@Humphking]

Lmao 🤣

[@dakkarnemo1094]

To be honest, I like Victorian fashion better than modern stuff. Not realistic, in this setting, but that's just my opinion.

[@Spacefrisian]

Cause the classic victorian era explorer clothes stay good for 10 years....

[@ThePostalGril]

@@dakkarnemo1094 same! i wish we'd go back to victorian fashion! especially on men, they always looked so dapper

[@samgott8689]

Hell yeah, nothing says “I’m posh, I’m British, and I intend to raid your culture’s sacred tombs” like the Victorian era. I always put it on when I do my grave robbing.

[@RayS696]

the funny thing is that the lead actress had more charisma and personality while playing a robot in Ex Machina

[@stu1701E]

Oh, that's why I recognise her.

[@markharmon4963]

That was a good movie.

[@redclayscholar620]

Her talent was wasted in this movie.

[@UltimateBallaPOM]

Ouch!

[@alejandrodecesare5929]

Plus she showed some skin at the end

[@chesterwilberforce9832]

I love how her dad goes from being batshit looney hermit to sane rational father in about 30 minutes.

[@Eurundt]

He had a fistful of kebab

[@rhyslightning3037]

He ate his snickers

[@briane.4181]

I remember playing Tomb Raider 2 on my grandpa's PC and I couldn't figure out a puzzle, so my grandpa drove me to the store to buy the strategy guide. I read it and the thing that fucked me up was a button on the wall I walked by a million times wondering wth I was supposed to do. My grandpa kicked ass. RIP, old man.

[@nah-y4e]

THE MATH....that makes you under the age of consent for using this platform

[@st4ne4rmthevill63]

@@nah-y4e how? Tomb Raider 2 came out in 97.

[@AverageWagie]

I learned to play senet just so I could beat a puzzle in The Last Revelation.

[@ironmac10]

Yeah. They don't make grandpa's like that anymore. Long live pop pop.

[@bobbykimble2013]

Rip old man

[@efe_aydal]

The superpower of Lara Croft from that movie was being extremely lucky (in the action scenes). It became so ridiculous that I stopped caring at some point. Jack sparrow was also like that but that one is supposed to be a comedy.

[@masonbricke4568]

The science fiction writer Isaac Asimov once observed that every hero (or heroine) has the deck stacked in their favor; otherwise they would neither prevail nor even survive their adventures. Another writer back in the seventies said that James Bond's only superpower was luck. Not skill of any particular sort, but a very consistent dumb luck. It was true for Indiana Jones, John McClane, Marty McFly; etc. But it quickly becomes a crutch for lazy writing and ruins the story for the audience. Lara Croft is the latest example, but by no means the last.

[@dikkie1000]

@@masonbricke4568 I think it was larry Niven in the Ringworld books where there was an alien influcenced breeding program to produce humans who would be lucky in an uncanny degree. And there was a sentence that the very lucky ones were those who were not chosen in the end to fullfill the purpose of the program. Those Pierson's Puppeteers were some set of devious planners.

[@deathstrike]

The Drinker pointed it out the best "it's competent". That's like topping off a Filet Mignon with truffle sauce, a Petit Fois Gras, spring vegetables and a glass of Bordeaux with a piece of plain vanilla cake no icing and calling that a dessert. Sure it's technically a dessert, probably competently made, but does that really complement a world class meal? Perhaps for some yes, but while a good meal can get away with such a dessert, would you be happy? Or be disappointed? Especially if the second dessert was a Baked Alaska or a flourless chocolate cake with pure chocolate and a rich buttercream filling? Why not make the effort to be that flourless cake? Why not be bold and innovative? Is "competent" all there is now? Fan service for the Tomb Raider fans? Nothing new, nothing that really breaks new ground? Old and safe?. No wonder many choose McDonald's. If you have never had good food or good entertainment, you won't have a context to what good food is. Same for movies, if you are not used to good movies, you will think this Tomb Raider is excellent.

[@russbus3930]

@@masonbricke4568 Absolutely. How else are they able consistently and miraculously avoid a hail of lead?

[@stijnvdv2]

This is a 'what if Disney makes a Tombraider movie' kinda movie. It's nowhere near the enjoyment I got from the Angelina Jolie movies, just meh... it exists.... and an almost 1 on 1 adaptation of the 2013 reboot game.... at least the Angelina Jolie movies had their own storylines, as implausible as they were, at least they made original content with the theme of Tombraider....

[@renzorro2001]

How hard would it have been to just do the story from the game?? Research vessel, stranded on the island, Lara has to learn how to survive and become the badass Tomb Raider we know and love. Shit writes itself!!!

[@danigar]

I agree. I don't hate the movie but wished it stuck closer to the game's story and just made a few changes. It would have been much better

[@joebloggs6922]

I hate how video games change things. You alienate the game audience, and then create a bad plot anyway which attracts no one else. So basically you get the worst of both worlds.

[@asterfield02]

Her quest to find her crewmates was way more interesting than landing in an island with a whole expedition crew that was in the movie. The mysticity of the island was what made the setting special. Now a whole digging crew just dont even care they're trapped in an island because they'll find treasure or something

[@randomcoyote8807]

They wasted, what, almost 15 to 20 minutes of potentially useful screen time building a bogus backstory, and some silly-ass bicycle race? She should have already found Sam and Matthias at that early forest base camp by then.

[@blob5907]

maybe a woman directed it

[@davidgannon5388]

3:48 - "'Disturbing the peace???' I got thrown out a window! Tell me, what's the charge for getting pushed out a moving car, huh? *Jaywalking*? This is bullsh*t!!!"

[@yaoguai8459]

The writers must have seen how much people hate super rich characters like Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark.

[@glenmcl]

Priceless

[@stackthatartpaper]

Lol

[@Paulafan5]

The writers made her so annoying because she acted like having money was a "burden". You know the types. That whine about being privileged, living in mansions or castles or gated communities.

[@Edax_Royeaux]

@@Paulafan5 Usually those types whine about the taxes of being wealthy, not of the wealth itself.

[@maurirz5585]

This comment is underrated and so accurate

[@maciej2c]

The Critical Drinker: Tomb Raider - The Movie Everybody Forgot me : there is a tomb raider movie other than with angelina jolie ?

[@waltercomunello121]

the point is, it's so similar to the game that I'm not surprised somebody confuses them.

[@catbhoy]

I’ve actually watch this and can’t recall anything about it 😂😂

[@nanonymous9139]

same

[@mikepette4422]

at least Jolie looked like its maybe possible she has the strength to do some of the things she shown doing. But Alicia "the stick girl" Vikander is just not a substitute. Now I have nothing against her she's done some good work in movies but I just don't see her in this role at all and never gets you to believe she might actually be Lara Croft unlike AJ who does give off that vibe especially in the first movie.

[@mikepette4422]

@@catbhoy yeah i need to strain to recall the "climax" its very forgettable indeed

[@tara_antilles]

"Use your father's wealth to find your father." That's it, that's the movie. Who needs a macguffin when you got dear old dad? At least a cursed relic or magic artifact would have had some kind of dimension to it.

[@lsimon343]

Macuffin??! Haha sounds like a rejected McDonald’s breakfast idea lol

[@tara_antilles]

@@lsimon343 LOL, you ain't wrong. "In fiction, a MacGuffin (sometimes McGuffin) is an object, device, or event that is necessary to the plot and the motivation of the characters, but insignificant, unimportant, or irrelevant in itself." - Wikipedia

[@YourPrivateNightmare]

"I used the father to find the father and it nearly killed me" -Thanos Croft

[@tara_antilles]

@@YourPrivateNightmare Okay that was an excellent use of a Thanos quote. Bravo. 👏

[@ArtemisKing2468]

@@tara_antilles "In fiction, a MacGuffin is an object, device, or event that is necessary to the plot and the motivation of the characters, but insignificant, unimportant, or irrelevant in itself." - So . . . Captain Marvel.

[@B20C0]

Hollywood exec: "Let's make a videogame adaptation!" Hollywood writers: "Sir, that has NEVER worked out, ever!" Hollywood exec: "This time it will." "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Unknown

[@marseldagistani1989]

Sonic worked

[@bobsmith6079]

Actually it was Rita Mae Brown, the mystery novelist. In her 1983 book "Sudden Death," she attributes the quote to a fictional "Jane Fulton," writing, "Unfortunately, Susan didn’t remember what Jane Fulton once said. 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.'"

[@SioxerNikita]

Problem is... that the bad videogame adaptations is not down to it "never working out", the problem is they just throw a little money at it, or get writers and directors that have no idea what the game was about.

[@paulusapfel]

@@marseldagistani1989 Sonic was such a nice movie, and I have to admit, I never played a Sonic game longer than 10minutes

[@rogersmith7396]

Right, heres a billion dollars. Be sure and have the dolls in the stores for Christmas. But what about the movie? What movie?

[@billy797]

My only response to this is, "there's another Tomb Raider movie?".

[@joshbanks6367]

Same here. I genuinely had no idea this movie even existed... ... oh well.

[@HerculesBallsInc]

I remember when it came out, all the Leftist press was in love because the new Lara Croft has smaller boobs than the old Lara Croft, so therefore it's more feminist. Don't ask me to explain that...

[@Lord_Numpty]

Until I watched the video, I thought it'd be about the old ones with -Rimmer- Chris Barrie playing her butler. Honestly didn't know any films about the desecration of Lara Croft were made in the first place.

[@egillskallagrimson5879]

And why Angelina looks in so bad shape?😟

[@SumDumGy]

I’m only confused that this is “a second failed attempt.” Wasn’t the first film with Jolie pretty successful at the time? The sequel failed, sure, but not the attempt at the franchise.

[@net_imp]

Funny how when Hollywood sets out to write a "strong independent woman", they always inevitably turn out to have huge daddy issues.

[@CheemsofRegret]

They're projecting.

[@JahonCross]

Honestly forgot this money existed

[@johnnywhitsel1583]

Edit: See first reply lol.

[@johnnywhitsel1583]

@@CheemsofRegret Goddammit! Beat me to it.

[@jandro8370]

They forgot to add tits

[@chasduran4160]

They shouldn't have altered the story from the game.. Why does everything have to be "grounded in reality" when Lara Croft comes from an Indiana Jones style mystical/mythical world where magic is real.

[@grfrjiglstan]

Because they think that stuff scares away general audiences. They didn't have to worry about that in the other movies, because Angelina Jolie's rack was enough of a draw to overlook that.

[@waltercomunello121]

and there's a fucking tyrannosaurus as a boss.

[@hebanker3372]

Because more and more studios want to get their sleazy hands on that chinese buck and the chinese goverment censors anything supernatural.

[@TheMicho1999]

@@hebanker3372 Wait, really? I know they don't like depictions of skeletons but supernatural stuff?

[@blamberton7893]

So you're just ignoring the Japanese death sorceress, or does she not turn up? Haven't seen it but a minute into this vid drinker says you're wrong about the occult bit.

[@darkursrike3161]

When I read the title I was like "... Everybody forgot? This is one of the most iconic vídeogame movie of all time!" And when I didn't saw the marvelous body of Angelina Jolie I was like "... They made a new movie about Tomb Raider?"

[@kevinbaboolal4225]

Is it illegal to get run over now? UK Police: WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN

[@sanjayraju988]

Don’t get it.

[@akshaykv123]

@@sanjayraju988 I assume he's talking about Sarah Everard.

[@CkVega]

@@akshaykv123 Nah, that's all you.

[@kiwisontoast]

@@sanjayraju988 because you can get arrested for loads of dumb shit here

[@84C4]

It probably just depends on the race of those involved. And on speech used, of course.

[@nealcastagnoli6185]

At least they made a movie in which the female protagonist appreciates her father. Seems like a taboo thing to do nowadays.

[@questworldiangreenknight7455]

I noticed that. I wasn’t sure if my thoughts were correct or not.

[@RayS696]

@Zylo Wolf 2.0 it's still there.

[@blyzer7373]

Ironic, because Angelina Jolie has a terrible relationship with her father.

[@JM-zz3vs]

@Zylo Wolf 2.0 yeah Rogue One or Alita :Battle Angel are the only few I can recall nowadays

[@propix]

Lara Croft ist everything but a feminist playball 🙄

[@MrWizeazz]

I actually laughed out loud in the middle of the theater when she tried to buy those two pistols in England. 😆

[@traegoins6903]

Its near impossible to get ANY gun in the UK much less a fricking pistol lol.

[@MrWizeazz]

@@traegoins6903 Yea it’s kinda weird that out of everything that happened in this movie, that scene alone was the most unrealistic part in the entire film. 😂

[@abcdc197]

@@traegoins6903 It's very easy to get gun in UK especially in bigger cities only legally geting one is next to impossible.

[@toh6261]

Only slightly less believable is that people actually went to the theater to see this tripe.

[@EnhancedNightmare]

Maybe she has loicence to look at them xD

[@roboknight]

I was waiting for a classic Drinker "Don't know." ... That always gives me a solid laugh. You didn't disappoint. Awesome. These reviews are always more fun to watch than the movies.

[@Shorty_Lickens]

"BUT DRINKER!" I say. "I didnt forget the movie I just dinna fookin care!"

[@jonahhex8178]

Nice!!!

[@tolkienist7905]

One thing that always got me about Lara is apparently she only has a small necklace to remember him by and she remembers him telling her to keep it as it symbolizes his love for her. We even see this is several flashbacks also. She doesn't want to sign papers to take his money because she doesn't want to think he is dead but somehow she has no issues selling that same necklace for cash to hire a boat............

[@Lansotey]

One could argue that she pawned it, which is more akin to taking a lone out on an item. So if she didn't come back and get it, then they could sell it. *shrug*

[@HerculesBallsInc]

Or, for that matter, she spends a decade pining for her father and then when she meets him she immediately disagrees with him and then parts ways.

[@StainsStainsStains]

"skidmark on the psyche" Im stealing that when referencing bad movies.

[@OtaOpz]

Nah man. Use it for bad media in general

[@mogznwaz]

Get in line 😁

[@Skellotronix]

Skid mark on the soul is what i thought he was gonna say. I think that sounds better.

[@veddate997]

ZIEEEGGLLLER

[@shanephillips617]

@@Skellotronix Nah, the psyche is an actual real thing

[@Hoot_hoot777]

I enjoyed the fact that she couldn't just strong arm all the guys in the film. She had to fight smart. That Scene in the jungle where she is fighting that guy is great. It's hard to see whats happening sure, but it feels desperate, she is fight with everything she has and is struggling. Yet she over comes it and final takes victory but just, I like that she couldn't match his strength and had to use other methods. I think if the sequel can learn from the mistakes they made it could actually be very enjoyable strong female lead action flick that fingers crossed does not get bogged down in gender politics.

[@SiCrewe]

Spot on. Sometimes it's interesting to go with a "gritty, realistic" interpretation of a franchise but sometimes a franchise is SUPPOSED to be exaggerated and fantastic.

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

Like Duke Nukem.

[@Matt_Romans116_Morris]

Or Uncharted

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

@@Matt_Romans116_Morris or Doom to be honest.

[@Matt_Romans116_Morris]

@@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370 I was just thinking Doom 😂

[@Mossedepths]

Agree. I'm tired of seeing these franchises attempting to be more "gritty" or "realistic". It was ok the first few times, but now it's becoming a blatantly obvious trend. Like sometimes we just wanna watch the movies/shows, read the books, and/or play the games as a way to temporarily escape reality. Not everything has to be "realistic."

[@user-uc4wf3ho3t]

Movies are getting so garbage sadly, im curious how shit movies will be in like 2040/2050

[@tobe1207]

You're crazy if you think we're just going to continue like this without catastrophe. Probably wont make movies anymore

[@michaelpettersson4919]

Hopefully there have been a successful backlash againgst todays crap movies by then. If so bad movies of that era will outshine todays masterpieces.

[@09Ateam]

Dull & gray just like movies from the communist bloc. That is where the left always ends up, removing all joy from life.

[@manchesterexplorer8519]

Movies will be dead by 2040

[@harukaminicho2370]

Implying current civilization will even make it that far. Oh, sweet summer child.

[@coolstorybro8811]

"is it illegal to get run over now?" In the UK nowadays, it just could be.

[@EmperorJim]

"Oi! You got a loisense for gettin' hit by a vehicle?!"

[@jakeapplegate6642]

That reminds me of “European vacation” Chevy chase hits cyclist Eric idle with his car and Eric apologizes profusely.

[@zil1832]

@@jakeapplegate6642 that was 80s

[@jakeapplegate6642]

@@zil1832 congrats you are correct. I dont know what that has to do with anything or why you felt the need to bring it up but you are not wrong.

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

You're under arrest for making a Police Officer go "Bwaaah !"

[@romanabanin2216]

Jolie worked really hard for this role, if you watch additional materials for the film. Even too hard sometimes causing injuries for herself. I wish we could have those films created with today's improvments in some ways (but without THE MESSAGE of course)

[@bezymjannaja]

Oh please! All that Jolie hype... I thought it was over when the shit hited the fan, but, apparently, no...

[@bezymjannaja]

Oh please! All that Jolie hype... I thought it was over when the shit hited the fan, but, apparently, no...

[@electric_boogaloo496]

I did enjoy the first Jolie TR movie, she was sexy and had quite a lot of screen presence. But physicality for a fist fight is something she just didn't have, but teenage me didn't care. All reports of the behind the scenes training is just marketing exercise to create hype. I grew up watching a lot of Hong Kong martial arts movies. Very few Hollywood acresses have the poise and physicality to sell a fight scene.

[@jamescarr1265]

Her performance was great and she looked absolutely gorgeous but the casting was slightly off. Emilia Clarke kinda gives Tomb raider vibes

[@jamescarr1265]

Or Hailee Steinfeld would be great as Lara

[@CkVega]

The funny thing is that in the reboot games, Lara is also a character with no agency, a series of events just 'happen' to her.

[@TheHufflepuffSaint]

The 2013 Reboot wasn't too bad as I've learnt during my revisit of it but I'm not looking forward to revisiting Rise or Shadow. That's where the Reboot Series went downhill for me. I'll admit, most of Rise was tolerable but Shadow.... A shadow of the franchises former self more like.

[@JarmamStuff]

For the most part. There are some pretty neat segments I must admit, mostly when Lara decides to say 'fuck it' to all the stupid shit happening on the rails and just goes raiding random tombs. It is nice that raiding tombs is the best part of Tomb Raider. Also when you choose to blow a downed guy's head out early on, Lara will quietly whisper 'asshole', which was a wonderful Spec Ops'esque nod to her increasing psychotic mental state

[@TheHufflepuffSaint]

@A Catalan Liam Rise is okay by my standards but Shadow was horrible in my opinion. It's the civilizations that are dragged into in the plot in the middle of the Act 2 structure of the game. In Rise, it wasn't as prominent because the civilians there was being oppressed by Trinity and were some what modern and native at the same time. But Shadow's civilization was just where I just gave up on the game it just bored the crap out of me. I mean I don't play Tomb Raider to associate with Civilizations. I play it to explore the ruins of lost Civilizations and learn more about them. Not from a lot of bland characters. I mean from Tomb Raider 1 to Underworld, I have never encountered Civilizations. Only one I can really think of is the citizens of Paris and Prague in Angel Of Darkness. All the other characters have helped Lara in her adventures and been great archenemies for her to beat... Natla, Amanda, her Doppelganger and many others. However, they tried to integrate realism into the Reboot I think and I hate that they keep doing that. Tomb Raider has always been fantastical while Uncharted was more into realism. But you might have a different opinion if you play them. Everyone varies on this kinda thing. ☺️

[@TheHufflepuffSaint]

@A Catalan Liam Sorry. I always tend to give essay styled answers. 😅😂

[@mrbubbles8743]

Shadow of the tomb raider was so boring and long I couldn't be bothered to even finish it and i liked the first 2 reboot games

[@montch1732]

“Is it illegal to get run over now? Anyway - the script needs the rest of the plot to happen, so off to jail she goes” Pure cinematic critical gold. Right up there with wearing your plot armor. Bravo sir!

[@Shiirya]

While he is kinda on spot for many critics he is so wrong for many others, like every people trying to bash and shit on movies, they just use whatever to make funny jokes or try to make a point even if its wrong or dishonest or so. Its no big deal here and doesnt change that the overall critic is pretty good but this point for exemple is wrong. Dont know where you live but for what i know its the same in many country, and while simply riding a bike yes isnt against he law obviously that is NOT what she was doing ! She was riding a bike really fast in middle of a town + throwing paint on the street and crashing into a car that ended up beeing a police one. All of that is, risky behavior in public street, putting people in danger, risky behavior that actual caused a crash harmless on the moment but thats just lucky, this could have made a car get out of road and hurt people or so, its a dangerous behavior, + as its a police car, its called public destruction this and the paint on the car + on the street same public destruction, public disorder. So while this obviously wouldnt make something like a 10 years jails outcome, it still logic that she get caught and end up in police station to pay a bill at least, or maybe do a one day retention in the station for good measure or so. He just completly forshadow this whole aspect by simply and conveniantly reduced it to "riding a bike"

[@DRAGON_NUTZ]

My grandmother told me she preferred Angelina Jolie.

[@TBrianOnline]

So did I.

[@blaiddgwyn1910]

I think everyone did tbh

[@connorpalm8291]

You grandmother is wise

[@aBerlin1945]

There's nowhere to go but down after Angie

[@mackinblack]

Personally, I preferred your grandmother...

[@gruby970]

"In reality that just makes her incredibly stupid." That line and its delivery by Drinker made me ROFL and i mean it. I fell of my damned chair.

[@elemenz888]

The most "kill bad guys, don't pick up their guns and keep running" moments...

[@TalesOfWar]

She has unlimited arrows though!

[@cheshirekat8273]

Still, this Lara is better than Rose Tico: Lara actually tried to rescue the slaves...

[@Evilwolf21]

Well tbh she IS better to look at.

[@williamcronshaw5262]

@@Evilwolf21 I've seen pictures of Kelly Marie Tran that actually make her look pretty decent (I'm also a sucker for asian girls). Tomb Raider girl's ok I guess

[@falcon00jr75]

Youch

[@LINKchris87]

A racoon soiling itself would be better than Rose Tico.

[@papershadow]

@@williamcronshaw5262 Rose Tico specifically is strictly on RJ's costume and make-up direction,. I get that he wanted Rose to look more like a frumpy "everyman" member of the Resistance, but he's still keeping Rey and co. around despite Rey in that movie's entire point being "you're an unspecial nobody" and still making sure she looks like a supermodel for the posters. It's a costume design choice that unfortunately gets saddled on the actress instead of the director, when the reason it doesn't suit the movie is on his script more than anything strictly wrong with KMT's performance of that terrible role. and dialogue.

[@blackoverblueskies6221]

She got arrested because she didn't have a license for crashin'

[@CallMeRito]

Loicense

[@r.blakehole932]

If that was London are you sure she wasn't arrested for illegally damaging an official vehicle?

[@Barbaroossa]

Oi, guvna. Do you a loicense for that banter?

[@ricktwisty5636]

You mean she didn't have a License to Spill?

[@dawey8897]

Ok but in all seriousness she did splash some shrek jizz lookin liquid on the windshield.

[@empressink_]

Lara Croft died years ago. Square Enix stripped and ruined such a powerful female character and this movie hammers down on why she'll never work in this era.

[@Gentlemenpickleesq.]

This movie was like the league of extraordinary gentlemen. Stuff happens but afterwards you only remember bits and pieces.

[@mikavirtanen7029]

League was a mess as far as a writing goes, but at least some of the actors nailed their characters admirably. This movie has nothing to offer, except the sad realization that these "writers" are going to butcher more characters and franchises in the future. For example Dumb Raider "writer" is right now destroying Sherlock Holmes at this very moment.

[@Deuterium52]

@@mikavirtanen7029 yeah LOEG is at least fun to watch

[@mikavirtanen7029]

@@Deuterium52 Yeah, it is that. Noble failure.

[@torynnielsen5646]

I liked that movie when I came out. I was a kid.

[@jessebrandson910]

@@torynnielsen5646 yea I saw that movie as a kid too so I remember it being fun to watch which was all I cared about at the time

[@Matteus2109]

This actually would have been a film where it was OKAY for the female character to be overpowered. That's kind of her appeal.

[@lowkeyarki7091]

Yeah, especially since the actress put in the work to look like somebody who can actually kick ass.

[@grfrjiglstan]

How to motivate a strong female character, according to Hollywood: 1. Daddy issues 2. Love interest 3. That's it

[@sir_vaughn2018]

🚿&🔁

[@Edax_Royeaux]

Or in Aliens, it was daughter issues.

[@stephenpmurphy591]

Lesbian tendencies is always a mainstay trope of Hollywood groovy women characters. I don't mean women from the Island of Lesbos.

[@2501vai]

3. Can just do everything

[@grfrjiglstan]

@@stephenpmurphy591 You say that like it's a bad thing. Like what, do you want fewer lesbians?

[@masterxl97]

Why do screenwriters think having a character reject family wealth makes them relatable? 99% of people would take a wealthy life if it was offered to them. And it’s not like Lara Croft’s family got rich through crime or anything; the money’s not even dirty.

[@SeanChandlerTalksAbout]

Whoa whoa whoa! My wife really enjoys this one! ...though she also forgets that until she's rewatching it

[@ScaloneitorTModel]

I didn't expect to find you in this comment section Sean. How are you?

[@SeanChandlerTalksAbout]

@@ScaloneitorTModel I'm good. Stuff is actually coming out again for me to cover! After year without not a lot coming out, March has been fun!

[@TheOnslaught616]

My wife does the same thing. Lol

[@warfreddy6968]

This whole video seems like he doesn't realize they took the well-performing videogame's plot practically scene for scene. Most of his criticism is actually of the script writer for a videogame because all the people involved in the film weren't even pretending to try. Oh i guess the whole bike intro was original story. Lol. Also, all the positive stuff he says at the end is what the assholes couldn't ruin from the game: overarching competent plot. It was a pretty decent game.

[@garvjain5426]

Same

[@tolpacourt]

In wokeworld aka Hollywood, fathers always abandon their daughters and being poor means you're leading a virtuous life.

[@Edax_Royeaux]

But did Lara's father abandon her? Abandon implies giving up.

[@patzimmerman2319]

Latter is a lie designed to justify Marxism to underachievers.

[@clamum]

Yeah liberals love to believe any poor or "victimized" or disabled people are virtuous. Typical naive Democrats. I'm not saying some poor people aren't great people, and some rich people aren't scum, but your class or victimhood status have nothing to do with how good of a person you are.

[@Edax_Royeaux]

@@A.B994 But that's like saying a father who died in WWII abandoned their children. That's the wrong word to use.

[@Jay_Sullivan]

@@A.B994 , weather is cold or not or sometimes tepid.

[@dedf15]

Yet another plot hole: If "Dad" was so dead set on stopping Generic Villain Guy, how did he think that hiding out in the jungle and going native was going to stop him? "Dad" had access to untold resources and allies to help him do anything at all he wanted in order to keep Generic Villain Guy from accessing the tomb. the movie made it clear that GVG didn't even have the smarts that the bad guys from other archeology action adventures had. He was just some kind of big jerk who coerced a few natives that he captured to dig holes in the jungle until they got lucky one day So, instead of flying home to his mansion and calling an airstrike down on the island, he doesn't go home, doesn't stop the bad guy at all, doesn't rescue the workers...but he does get a nice tan while the rest of the world moves on. Maybe he just wanted to take retirement early, and avoid paying his taxes?

[@texasbeast239]

Tan Man Bad?

[@TexasLawbringer77]

That was my first thought after seeing seeing it, like why didn’t this super-rich dude just hire his own band of mercenaries to do the job?

[@rogersmith7396]

Intense body odor.

[@Psy0psAgent]

@@texasbeast239 you misspelled ‘tax’

[@mrbisshie]

Couldn't daddy just hire some mercenary group to attack the villains in the jungle, and blow up the tomb?

[@pasindudinusha7749]

I really hated the fact they changed the story of game by making Himiko have some weird diease instead of keeping her power as the Sun Queen in the games. I lost my interest in the moment I realised I'm not going to see the Storm Gaurds in the movie.

[@complexplacebo]

I didn’t know this movie was so different from the game. And the whole “corpse is a biological weapon” is just like the first uncharted game

[@gagalover2k10]

I honestly enjoyed the game so much more, it told a better version of the story the movie was adapted from and was far more compelling imo

[@soulnullify]

@@gagalover2k10 I agree, I think them trying to stay grounded and take out the random mystical stuff that is in the game series was a bigger change than they expected. The whole point was that she didn't believe in that stuff but there was always something that was difficult or impossible to explain, right?

[@maximusaralieous1728]

Yeah, I thought it was supposed to be based off the first game in the remake trilogy, but when watching the trailers, I thought it was didn't manage to capture anything that made the first game great.

[@MrViral20]

The most hilarious thing about this....it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual games story.....none, the only one being a lone island and himiko that's it....the story is fucked sideways....

[@RanMouri82]

Exactly! For all the things to add to flesh out Lara's background, did they really need that missing dad plotline? Like Drinker said, the irony is it stripped Lara of her agency.

[@Manganization]

@@RanMouri82 which is a shame because the plot for the first game suited a movie.

[@dtkedtyjrtyj]

Don't forget the climbing axe! Such iconic, great wow.

[@jimluebke3869]

"Technology that lasts years, or even decades, after it should have failed" Like the mechanical traps in thee tombs that work after centuries?

[@ninadiamant8937]

Hey, who knows. Most things in Tutanchamun's tomb were still mostly intact. Even the door seal made out rope. 😜

[@QJ89]

'Battlefield Earth,' any-one?

[@jimluebke3869]

@@ninadiamant8937 In a desert, that makes a certain amount of sense. You know, someone could poke at this trope by making the real danger, the way these traps fell apart in unexpected ways after parts of their mechanisms decayed.

[@TalesOfWar]

@@jimluebke3869 Yeah, that always got me when these ancient booby trapped places are in some place super humid and wet where it'd rot away in a few short years.

[@channell11]

@@jimluebke3869 That could be good. Same way that some explosives and ordnance can become unstable as they age.

[@lostkrusader4495]

"Their strategy for success consists of randomly digging up the whole island and just hoping for the best". That sums up my life, Drinker. Need that one on my tombstone.

[@Weirdaman]

I bet there will be some goofy flashbacks showing how traumatised Lara is. Can't she be a sassy adventurer that walks into danger just because?

[@jillreyerma7592]

Yeah, that's basically what she was in the original games.

[@blueripper1558]

But how will anyone be able to relate to a video game character in a movie, I really don't get why people try to do that with characters, I don't look at super man and think one day I'll be an alien with dead parents for motivation

[@jillreyerma7592]

@@blueripper1558 I've always felt like I'd want to look up to a fictional character, they'd be something to aspire to, to encourage me to be better. Them being completely "relatable" doesn't inspire me. Besides, fictional characters don't have to reflect reality. That's... Kind of the whole idea.

[@casedistorted]

@@jillreyerma7592 Hollywood has to ruin her character so modern women can relate somehow lol.

[@jillreyerma7592]

@Phillip J. McCrevice Of course, but everyone consumes entertainment. Video games, movies, TV series, books, comics and all that. It's a good way to encourage people to achieve their goals and reach even higher. Fictional characters are a great way to inspire people because they ignite the imagination. Allow people to dream more.

[@Elfrunner]

Yeah, I could see them branching out with this character. Tomb Raider and the Quest for the Holy Grail. Old Man from Scene 24: "What is your name?" Lara: "Lara Croft." Old Man: "What is your quest?" Lara: "To seek the Holy Grail." Old Man: "What... is the chronological order of your reboot video game series?" Lara: "I don't know that! They all have weird titles and- AAAAARRRGHHH!!!" *Into the Gorge of Eternal Peril*

[@cheeseisjar3058]

Now I want to see that

[@TalesOfWar]

I HATE this with game and movie "reboots". It's not as egregious as the ones that use numbers though like the Hitman reboot for example. We already had a Hitman 2! 16 years earlier!

[@Analog-1313]

@@TalesOfWar you do realize that you can’t play the original hitman 2 unless you have a console 16 years old right, that’s why they make video game reboots dumbass

[@TalesOfWar]

@@Analog-1313 Reboots are fine, but calling it the same damn thing is stupid. At least give it a subtitle like the Tomb Raider reboot.

[@wolfwarlordjake8992]

Do you die in the Gorge of Eternal Peril? Or are you just in peril for eternity? If so, does that mean that Sir Robin and Sir Gallahad are still alive?

[@no0bw1th4gun]

The title was talking about a Tomb Raider movie that everybody forgot and I was thinking "Who forgot about Angelina Jolie?" and then the drinker starts talking about the other one that I really had forgotten about.

[@collinchristensen7405]

I didn't even know it existed😐

[@rogersmith7396]

She forgot to get her lips aired up.

[@jim.rnilsen9]

The title really says it all, this Drinker video pops up in my feed every now and then, and for a few seconds each time I'm like 'huh they made a new Tomb Raider movie' before I see the 6 months - 2 years ago tag

[@VoltanIgor]

I love the way the villain carefully secures the potentially genocidal biological weapon artifact in a handy plastic zip-bag. These guys thought of everything :)

[@scottewing2031]

Whoever selected the tracklist of songs for the first Jolie movie - was robbed of an oscar. Now THAT album was memorable.

[@texasbeast239]

Where's Your Head At? 🎼🎵🎶

[@alexmilne2842]

agreed

[@croft4746]

Bruh I literally use it as a workout playlist it really hypes you up

[@jimmylittle9393]

Elevation! Woooooooo Wooooooo!

[@Tyrelguitarist]

It's a classic core memory for sure.

[@LordHoth_90]

Whenever they say “more realistic” I lose interest. If I want realistic I’d watch documentaries.

[@MrNicoJac]

To be fair, no one tops David Attenborough

[@alexferrana3979]

Realism in fantasy movie? Out of place, definitely. And "Realism" is very tricky word. For example, comics has a lot of "just a human" (aka "peak human") characters whose can easily dodge bullets, punch through armored steel doors without even cringing in pain after breaking a hand (as it should be IRL) and consistently defeats characters way above their weight class & abilities because of *wrote the favourite fanboy/writers explaination*. So no, realism is overrated. And Lara in classic games has consistently encountered against fantasy creatures and events. I wasn't wrong about saying about that as a "fantasy". Making Lara "grounded & realistic" was a mistake.

[@AverageWagie]

Are you kidding Tiger King is technically a documentary and it's the most unreal shit I've seen in a decade

[@TheHufflepuffSaint]

Agreed. We don't watch these kinda movies for realism but rather escapism from this "realistic" world. 😒

[@Soridan]

@@AverageWagie It's funny how reality can be pretty damn unrealistic. Like Drinker pointed out in his Hacksaw Ridge stream, they had to tone down the real events for the movie because they were just too much. There are documented events that leave one scratching their head in disbelief. (Like Jack Chruchill in WW2)

[@froggystyle642]

I literally did not know there was 2018 tomb raider movie until now. Four years later.

[@Cusifaii]

"This is just like Raiders of the lost ark, only... not good." The delivery of that line made me laugh so hard.

[@alexholker1309]

"Technology shown to function years or even decades after it should have failed." To be fair, you could say the same thing of the booby traps still functioning perfectly centuries after they were built.

[@realLow-Key]

But theyre not powered by AA batteries lol

[@MrNicoJac]

@@realLow-Key THIS

[@stevenscott2136]

Like Lord Croft couldn't have written a letter, with voiceover and maybe some flashback-type images as Lara read it? A narrative device that's worked since basically the invention of film.

[@jamesmclemore9123]

I saw a video of an archeologist reacting to Indiana Jones, and their main reaction was that a real archeologist would have been way more interested in the traps that could still function with virtual no maintenance after hundreds of years than anything they were designed to protect.

[@TheNextBiggieThingTR]

"the movie everyone forgot" legitimately it took me like 5 minutes into this video to realize i have actually watched this film. holy crap Drinker

[@tubetubecommentor4795]

haha same here

[@ddmalarkey]

I remember as I was watching it a couple of years ago that it wasn't awful but yeah, I havent thought about this movie once since then!

[@tyvamakes5226]

Did you guys remember when that guy held off the mercenaries so that Lara could escape?

[@sf1174]

Same.

[@mrmagoo-i2l]

Subliminal messaging hidden in the film by the Illuminati, makes you forget, eeermmm, that thing..?

[@jellygiraffe]

"This is just like Raiders of the Lost Ark, only, not good." - That's a quality line right there.

[@usernamealreadytaken9330]

Drinker: She was cool because she was unapologetic about who and what she was Me: Yeah she even trap her ancient butler in the freezer(I know you all did it as well)

[@TheSuperappelflap]

xddd

[@ItaK-ql7yz]

It was so forgettable that I didn't even know this movie existed until now.

[@jamesshielssoberlife.3701]

That is a great comment. LOL!!!

[@Troy_nov1965]

Was thinking the same thing......They made a Tomb Raider reboot?

[@hopkinsamye]

Same, I had no clue this movie existed until I saw the Drinker's video.

[@knowgo411]

It kinda of had potienal..but that quickly fizzled after the 1st 30mins of the flim...i think if the script wasn't so bland & predictable it probaly wouldnt have been so forgettable

[@reav3rtm]

Still better than Jolie movies imho.

[@dnaseb9214]

"Is it illegal to get run over now ?" Are you asking this question in London, Britain, where you get arrested and jailed for years for leaving a sandwich in the wrong place, but get community service for r@ping kids..

[@yousernameish]

She wasn't wearing a mask.... people in the free world have zero idea what conditions in the UK are like now :-(

[@dnaseb9214]

@@yousernameish Oy there, you got a loicence to bitch about da government m8 ? Dont worry, Im not from England or anywhere near, but we still see the oppressive government you live under. We are pretty much comparing the west to the rise of Soviet Union.

[@vorlon010]

to be fair, she's more likely to be asked if she wants to press charges against the driver, especially in London. Either that, or she was accused of deliberately ramming the car for hatecrime reasons and sent to prison for that

[@MyUserTubeAccount]

this is so crazy... HOW can ANYBODY look around and think all this stuff is just naturally happening and its ok?! someone or something is behind this madness, and we need to destroy it to smithereens

[@theunknownone5990]

You also get arrested for addressing transgenders by their original names and pronouns on Twitter

[@kayak2hell]

Whoa... I worked on the 2013 Tomb Raider game and didn't realize until watching this that Hollywood made a movie (very) loosely based on it. Looks like the film lifted more than a few scenes from the game but, based on your review, I'm not sure if I should feel flattered.

[@hybrid5860]

Really? Out of curiosity, what did you work on?

[@cleanerben9636]

"the batteries on this camera must be harder than a quadratic equation, because it still functions after 10 years" That was good man.

[@jmace2424]

“These guns will be perfect; when they fit a woman.”

[@antoniobrown247]

🤣🤣 that's a great reference

[@anna-marieevans140]

🤣

[@markparkinson6947]

Batwoman is most certainly one of those bad media that are memorable in their own way.

[@fs3994]

That's spot on.

[@ptonpc]

Don't forget, she buys illegal pistols from a pawn shop run by the unfunny sidekick of Simon Pegg.

[@ggcmod]

"We're going to make a movie based on a video game, but let's leave out almost everything except the name."

[@tmerchead1]

This inspired by the recent reboot games which is different.

[@1982Obsidian]

You almost had me sold on this film as you showed scenes featuring the AMAZING Derick Jacobi, or as I like to call him 'Cadfael', the medieval mystery solving monk who is always to blame for every murder every week due to someone 'stealing' his supply of hemlock.

[@the_travelingbreeze]

“Laura, wait. You didn’t spend my money to find me for years because you thought that signing the papers would actually mean I died?”

[@thereseemstobeenanerror1219]

To be fair that's also the case in the games as well.

[@ptonpc]

"I can see that very expensive, exclusive education didn't go to waste. Now for the last time Lara. These cows are small. Those are far away. Small. Faarrr awaaay...."

[@TheRedHorseman1208]

I like how the corpse of the ancient queen was attached to some contraption from a haunted house that made her sit up all spooky-like

[@fenrisvermundr2516]

We all know the ancient Japanese invented haunted houses.

[@SavageDawgJoshua]

"We don't get any actual 'Tomb Raiding' until the last 15 minutes..." ...You mean like "Doom"?

[@OlaftheGreat]

Well that FPS scene kicked ass at least

[@carldonath8196]

Would be great to get a compilation from “movies that had just 5 minutes of totally awesome”.

[@SavageDawgJoshua]

@@carldonath8196 Yes, and "Doom" would be in the top 3.

[@liquidiced]

I’m gonna suggest the space shuttle rescue scene from Superman… ✈️🚀

[@gagatube]

There was something wrong with the thriller moments in 'Tomb Raider' - think about the rolling ball sequence in 'Raider of the Lost Arc' or the bit where he grabs his hat just as the huge door slams down in 'Temple of Doom' - unforgettable stuff! The collapsing aeroplane over the mighty waterfall was supposed to be a thriller moment in 'Tomb Raider' but it wasn't. Maybe it went on for too long, maybe it was because all Lara ever did was hang off different bits of the thing, I don't know, but instead of being a thriller it was almost tedious. At no point did I ever think she was going to fall, or fail.

[@StarWarsomania]

I think it’s because they leaned into making the scenes feel like they were actually from a video game - the running chase scene, the tomb puzzle scene, and yeah the airplane scene. The problem is that they don’t translate between mediums. In a video game you KNOW that there is at least one path the game makers created for your character to move forward. Your fun is in finding it. But in a film it isn’t supposed to feel like the characters are on railroad tracks. It’s supposed to be the characters overcoming obstacles as if it was the real world and there isn’t a “game maker” creating the path for them. Of course, in reality the writers are in fact writing everything, but in a well-written story it isn’t blatantly obvious.

[@gagatube]

@@StarWarsomania Interesting point - but if the film makers were trying to make the scenes like a video game, what do the video game makers try to make them like? Aren't both of them supposed to suggest reality - with maybe a bit of tweaking of the physics? Although even in real life being trapped in a tunnel where the floor is falling out from under your feet doesn't give you a lot of options, so I guess the "railroad tracks" are forgivable there at least.

[@StarWarsomania]

@@gagatube Sorry, maybe I wasn’t super clear. When I said “making the scenes like they were from a video game”, I meant more that when I just recently watched the movie for the first time, scenes like the ones I listed - the boat-running scene and the airplane scene in particular - stood out very strongly because did not “feel” like they were made for a movie. They felt like they were filmed for a video game cutscene, as introduction to being dropped into the scenario as your avatar. Some inherent aspect of them was “off” in a way I can’t describe other than I immediately said out loud while watching “oh yeah, that [scene] feels like they lifted it from a video game”. Some scenes work really well in books, for instance, but can’t really be translated to film particularly well, and it takes a really good scriptwriter to make the adaptations necessary to make them work. This “felt” like it was poorly adapted, but from a video game instead of a book. Video game makers just have to make good video games that are engaging to the players. But it is a medium in which the “audience” is also an active participant. Trying to create a “video game movie” like Tomb Raider runs into problems if the writers don’t remember that the active engagement element doesn’t translate to the big screen. It came off particularly poorly in the airplane scene, imho. It *felt* like the Main Character was supposed to have a way out of it because that’s just how the genre of “video game” works. In a video game it’s not a problem to feel this way because you as the active participant are trying to figure it out yourself through your avatar, but in a movie that feeling removes all tension from the scene.

[@gagatube]

@@StarWarsomania Okay, I think I'm following you... A "perilous situation" in a video game 99% of the time has an exit - provided the player is smart enough to figure it out. Translate that to the Big screen and the exit is found but without the figuring out - or at best the audience watches someone else figure it out, which is not nearly as nerve-racking. So the situation loses most of its shared peril. Having said that I recently watched Die Hard 4.0 and the scene with McClain in the SUV half way down the elevator shaft is exactly the same principle. (he's not going to die, he has the rest of the movie to finish) But the scene was still gripping, far better than Lara in the aircraft. Was it his athletics? - he wasn't just hanging on to stuff, he was all over that SUV, inside and out... was it his acting? (Bruce Willis' facial expressions are brilliant) or was it the interplay between tension and comedy that heightened the scene? (There wasn't a lot of comedy in 'Tomb Raider'...)

[@StarWarsomania]

@@gagatube I get exactly what you mean. Scenes like the airplane scene *should* be good, tension-filled scenes. The Indiana Jones and the big rolling stone scene come to mind as a similar scene that “works”, even with the same, slightly-goofy, over-the-top danger of a “video-game-style” trap. Plenty of movies from RotLA to DH4 have tension-filled scenes where as an audience member you inherently know they’re gonna make it through, but the movies retain the tension. I’m not really sure what’s off about this movie to remove that tension. I’m sure the amazing acting and better dialogue probably plays some role, but it feels like that would be minimal? I’ve been thinking on this, and what’s really stood out to me is that the problem is almost a “meta” problem that leaks into certain scenes worse than others. If you are familiar with the concept of “railroad tracts” in D&D, where a DM will basically force the players to “play along” with the script so they can get to Plot Points A, B, and C, it almost feels like that, where no matter what you do, X will happen because the DM has you on the railroad. So, even if the plot point is interesting and you would normally be engaged, because you know this meta about being on railroad tracts you’ve lost your engagement. Now, of course, sitting around playing a tabletop RPG or watching a movie, we all know fundamentally that the DM/writers are behind the plot, but what makes a good game or movie is when you feel that engagement regardless. And if we want to be there, we are more likely to suspend our disbelief. This movie was just… missing some _je ne sais quoi_ on a fundamental, meta level that came out really, really obviously in any tension-heavy scenes. And it’s not like video game movies all suffer from either of these problems. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time was a movie with plenty of successful tension-filled scenes, even in scenes that felt as if they were “video-game inspired”. Same with the Warcraft movie - if you ignore the major departures from lore, it really is a fairly decent movie.

[@chillcharity7610]

I watched tomb raider in Germany in a small country town with 1 screen. I didn’t understand a word of it and I rewatched it at home in English and it had the same effect on me with or without understanding the dialogue.

[@nhmooytis7058]

“Dull and derivative” is pretty much any movie today. PS pro: Alicia Vikander does not have duck lips. Con: she only has one facial expression.

[@Peer165]

Fantastic actress. Watch Ex Machina.

[@salladinthegreat]

@@Peer165 I don't know about "fantastic" but I agree that she's very good in Ex Machina. Perhaps because she played an AI.

[@nhmooytis7058]

@@salladinthegreat HAHAHAHAHAHA

[@pennydreadful5163]

@@salladinthegreat touche

[@dantasticmania8728]

Pretty much like our pal Brie Larson.

[@ArlanKels]

Thought on the flashback that caused her to crash: Isn't that a sign of a severe mental health issue? Like some type of dementia? Cause last I checked I don't randomly have flashbacks and lose all awareness of my surroundings while doing an activity.

[@CheemsofRegret]

Yeah, definitely signs that she's got issues up in the head. When I encounter something that suddenly reminds me of a past event, all that really happens is I go "huh, so that was a thing" and move on.

[@RanMouri82]

It would've made more sense if she saw a guy who strongly resembled her dad and thought it might be him.

[@johnmihelis1699]

As to why they entombed the sorceress instead of just burning her, I'm gonna say it was probably because, due to the times, people must had thought she was actualy magic and/or cursed. I doubt they had many microscopes in ancient japan. The rest though is spot on as always

[@livinghistory9701]

Ahh, my day has brightened considerably.

[@fluffbucket9560]

Mine too

[@alyailithyia]

I play these videos in the background in between classes or when I am doing errands. It's great and brightens my day too lol

[@Garrus1995]

Yeah. Drinker warms my cold heart like no one else can.

[@yatharthjain2273]

they added her in fortnite

[@jowilltellthetruth5525]

Directors need to leave lara alone. She's a game character, she wasn't made for film!

[@Soul93Taker]

Maybe a series, but film is just too short to give proper background and development

[@goldenhawkalumni5341]

Agreed. Most video games would work better as a television show/series. Movies often have to simplify the lore to an unrecognizable degree.

[@jowilltellthetruth5525]

@@Soul93Taker that and this era is too woke to do her justice anyway

[@aBerlin1945]

Well, not clean films anyway...

[@D0NU75]

as long as the woke culture is alive, Lara won't be fully realized, because she is tastefully seductive and curvy, but also vulnerable and strong at the same time while also recognizing her own limits and these are things the industry do not accept. This Lara is basically a Rey who never overextend to mary sue

[@bghoody5665]

I remember Lara from the original games as being sexy, charming and fun. This Lara seems like none of those things.

[@trequor]

Modern Hollywood simply cannot allow their female characters to be sexy, charming, or worst of all fun. They must be miserable feminists.

[@mr.j410]

@@trequor yet Thor and captain America exist

[@Bobalicious]

I once owned a SONY Camcorder. It was the worst purchase I ever made. Not only wouldn't the battery be good after ten years, it couldn't even last ten minutes. I quickly grew to hate the thing. I probably didn't get as many as three hours of use out of it. When it was time to get rid of it, I couldn't sell it in good faith. It wasn't even worth donating to Goodwill. It ended up in a dumpster.

[@markparkinson6947]

"But this version of Lara is all hung up on her daddy. She's convinced that he's still alive so she refuses to sign his death certificate out of some childish belief that a legal document somehow makes the thing real." Anyone else get Rey flashbacks from hearing that?

[@CursedWheelieBin]

Naw cos we’ve moved on. You should too

[@RanMouri82]

Ugh, sadly yes.

[@uneterostardust8233]

I didn't, because I honestly forgot EVERYTHING about rays.. ""Character""..

[@theyellowlightsaber3193]

Not really, and how is not wanting to sign a death certificate childish exactly, its called greif and hope, something drinker clearly has no understanding of.

[@markparkinson6947]

@@grimsdottir2467 Are you talking about the LGBT community?

[@matthewolaechea1869]

It's symbolic that newer Lara has daddy issues because it's a reflection of the masculinity that women and feminism have systematically removed from their lives, but want.

[@napturaladvice7646]

🤔🤔🤔🙃

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

That's uhh, actually pretty clever, but I think you're giving them too much credit.

[@rogersmith7396]

Can you say lesbian? I knew you could.

[@_XR40_]

Don't evenlike Angelina Jolie, but a t least the older movies had some style and were kinda fun...

[@dikkie1000]

Chris Barrie in a bathrobe on slippers with a shotgun will do that to movies.

[@Digmer]

is was quick fun, kinda dumb BUT it knew what it was and did not try to be a masterpiece. this new version kinda try to be deeper.

[@realcrunchy6572]

They were shit

[@_XR40_]

@@realcrunchy6572 Sturgeon's Law. Did you have a point?

[@fatetestarossa2774]

@@realcrunchy6572 THE NEW ONE IS much worse every thing possible

[@WewasAtamans]

That scene with buying guns in a pawnshop in London was the least realistic thing in the whole movie.

[@CyborgWolf]

"Is it illegal to get run over now?" Well, this is the U.K...

[@champ1159]

@Captain McDog 🤣🤣🤣

[@papershadow]

In the US, there's the old rumor that you can be sued if a burglar injures themselves on your property. WOuldn't surprise me if somewhere exists where you get hit by a car and then sued for vandalizing the now-dented vehicle or something.

[@jt1687]

USA lookin shifty in the corner with the highest number of incarcerations per capita in the world

[@grfrjiglstan]

@@jt1687 Blame that on private prisons. When you incentivize locking people up, that's what's going to happen.

[@MarkMcDaniel]

@@jt1687 -- The freer the country, the more dangerous it is. I prefer dangerous freedom over safer governmental tyranny.

[@theanimeslayer3999]

Featuring a strong independent woman with zero personality or charisma loosely based on a video game - what could possibly go wrong? At least she wasnt a mary sue, which I guess is something! Poor Walton Goggins is a great actor, he didnt deserve to be associated with this movie!

[@sufianramli8017]

@Veit Vazmei I hope you mean the newer games

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

@@sufianramli8017 She's given a lot more depth in the later games actually.

[@JohnDoe-wq5eu]

Luckily for Walton Goggins this movie was so quickly forgotten and his role in it really forgotten.

[@sufianramli8017]

@@TheStraightestWhitest I played one of those games and it felt more like Uncharted than a Tomb Raider.....Lara was a seriously boring character to me. Keeps having nervous breakdowns and stuff. Their effort at making her 'relatable' just made unrecognizable as Lara to me. And she doesn't even sound very British

[@sweetmcnasty]

@@sufianramli8017 Boring murderer that doesn't raid tombs. It feels like Uncharted without the humor and excitement. Just find new ways to murder people and get hurt, over and over.

[@robertmaybeth3434]

"Feels like a background character in her own film." THERE it is! i particularly liked your retro review of the early TR games. You made me play TR 2 all over again... it's actually quite fun, you know

[@wetwingnut]

I watch new movies today with exactly the same thought that I used to have attending my children's grade school orchestra concerts: Best case, this won't take too long...

[@narev6569]

Was anyone else amazed to discover this movie existed? This and the Charlie's Angels re-reboot passed under my radar. Remember when movies used to be fun and memorable?

[@TheFourthWinchester]

Charlie's Angels reboot is vastly more fun than this shyt.

[@SakuraAvalon]

I knew it existed, because I was excited for the Tomb Raider reboot game getting a live adaptation. Was hoping it would take the plot, and just flesh out the characters and lore. Instead it turned an awesome, cheesy game about a wicked ghost, using an army of demon Samurai to kill people who wound up on the island, while trying to bring itself back to life, too: Zombie virus.

[@Kehua800]

Never heard of the movie until this morning

[@andreashort310]

I actually like this movie. Maybe it's just because Lara wasn't a Mary Sue and she was actually a vulnerable character, and there's a fight scene against a bigger male opponent that she wins in a believable way, but I can't help but root for the second movie to actually be better and succeed financially. To me, this movie is fun escapism. Hell, I also like Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft.

[@emanuelespinoza9325]

@@andreashort310 I watched the movie for the second time recently and I still enjoyed it. I can see why some people didn't like it, but I still enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the 2019 Charlie's Angels.

[@VaporSulla]

"Is it illegal to be run over now?" It's the UK so it's possible.

[@nopushbutton]

need to have your getting run over license on you at all times otherwise the driver who runs you over won't be liable!

[@bwtv147]

It works the same way in the USA. In any accident with cops the cops get to decide whose fault the accident is. Hint: The cops are always innocent.

[@Datura981]

I really wish Hollywood would stop glamorizing poverty-- hell, I wish SOCIETY would stop it. This latest social trend that poverty is somehow noble, that choosing it over unearned wealth is somehow morally righteous, is really sickening and infuriating. I grew up in a stable household with two parents, in the nicest suburb of our (admittedly shitty) town, and my dad made close to $100k by himself. My mom worked part time because she was bored. I didn't realize how good I had it until my parents separated when I was a teenager and my mom got into drugs. Let me tell you, those shite bottom of the ladder jobs are NOT held by choice, they're usually under the table gigs to people who are desperate, or addicts, or felons, or predators, or just otherwise have effed up their life so bad they've got no other options. It's a disgusting, filthy lifestyle, and I don't mean morally-- like, it's gross. There are cockroaches and shitty co-workers that don't GAF and people who eff you over because you have no personal advocacy and low wages and shitty food and constantly getting sick... it isn't "quirky!" and fun, it's absolutely miserable. People don't CHOOSE it, they're powerless to do anything more.

[@BWMagus]

But then how would we get people to accept socialism that will make most of us poorer, but all for the good cause of lifting a few people up who, mostly, never put in any effort to better their situation? We have to make it noble to be poor and "not that bad".

[@SquallLion90]

They want to put it in peoples' heads that living in poverty is just a natural thing that nothing can be done about, but it's alright because being poor somehow makes you virtuous and gives you "lived experience™". They want people to think that wanting things like better wages and affordable health care like other 1st world countries have makes them selfish, racism, sexist, transphobic, white privileged heathens that deserve it.

[@PegLegCraig]

You're so damn right... I live on a fixed income. That does not make me a noble savage. I live in a ghetto, it is not the feel of altruism in the air. It's fear real as a heart attack and many are caused by it. I don't feel like a great person because I can stretch baloney and cheese for 2 weeks. Thing is she looked pretty damn affluent for a bike courier. In their pretend world everyone with a cool job makes decent money. Bike couriers today make a lot less than years ago there is a lot more competition now. Better bikes (which BTW cost more than I make in 3 months) and GPS makes everyone an expert on the city. So they went a long way to still make her unrelatable on a poverty level too.

[@ankymrn]

Your story is incredibly sad. I hope that it only made you stronger and that you’re doing better these days. You’re a real trooper!

[@Ozzie_Mandias]

"You shouldn't be embarrassed by your wealth. This contempt for money is just another trick of the rich to keep the poor without it." - Michael Corleone, Godfather series.

[@vicoregano]

I actually enjoyed the movie when I first saw it and didn’t mind the main actress. I liked how they didn’t make her a typical Mary Sue but honestly till this review I had completely forgotten this move even existed 😂 in fact the only thing I can really remember about this movie beside not hating it was that she had a killer body and that’s about it lol. Still I guess it’s better to be forgotten than then to be hated 🤷🏻‍♂️(Looking at you Daisy from Star Wars lol)