How to Stop Being TOO Nice | 10 Easy Changes! | Nice Girls Finish Last Pt 2

There are several reasons why someone may be too nice. It can be Trauma response/survival tactic adopted from a childhood or a relationship where being overly agreeable was the easiest or safest way to get by, it can be brought on by low self esteem or low self worth that makes you feel the need to overcompensate, or it may just be in your nature to help and be give and it gets taken advantage of. Whatever the reason the effects are very similar. The solutions are very similar as well.
We covered the downsides to being too nice in part 1. So today in part 2 we are discussing ways to avoid crossing into too nice territory, how to walk the line of still being a nice person without becoming a doormat, as well as behaviors to adopt if you are already in the too nice category to get out of there ASAP.

[@Zvwry]

My friend did something slimy to me once and I was so hurt, I told her I always put her first and look out for her and think about her and she hit me with the “I never asked you to do that” now I’m on this video.

[@EbonyKASMR]

She’s not your friend.

[@lilyofthelabyrinth]

here from my spouse doing the same thing. People like that don't deserve our time

[@SinhaShambhawi]

Stop doing things for her and making her your priority. She'll realize and if not her loss.

[@HumbleBeauty679]

Damn that's messed up. Yea she is NOT your friend. God will bless you with true friends

[@Subplaylist1111]

She’ll realize how such a great friend you were. She’s down bad for saying something like that bc friends and family need each other.

[@jeweloholic]

A giver has to have boundaries because a taker never does.

[@octaviashane_]

Comment of the year!!!!❤👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@theonistar5077]

It's not about rejecting anyone. It's all about choosing yourself.

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

Always!

[@gemglosoneats]

"My behavior is not a rejection of you, it's preservation of myself. " love this quote ❤❤

[@gaatjeniksaan8360]

Its true i all so think this way

[@NaturessDee]

❤

[@nicoleblake2700]

Same

[@lillierose5304]

I smile too much at people! Sometimes they don't even smile back. I also laugh when I don't even think they're funny, just to validate them. I need to stop this.

[@crumbs22]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="465">7:45</a> “be the person that people want to be picked by instead of the one hoping and praying to be picked” A WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

Amen!! 😊

[@latashahumphrey769]

Facts I so agree 👍💯

[@kimadiggs237]

😥😥😥🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@latashahumphrey769]

I'm still nice just careful

[@latashahumphrey769]

@@kimadiggs237 I help people still to this day just so over someone trying to play me. Just be real.

[@jesspk9515]

I used to be nice to my parents but now I am actively trying to be kind. I think that the difference between being nice and being kind is that kindness comes from the heart and niceness usually comes from another emotion like responsibility. As a child I tried to please my parents because they were my parents so I thought I had to be their perfect child so I did things like get good grades or avoid any conflicts. Now I try to do things like make them a card or a sticky note with carefully thought out words to encourage them and to give them complements throughout the day, not because they are my parents but because I love my parents.

[@crolleserre8382]

Thank you for your comment. I agree with you « kindness comes from the heart and niceness comes from another emotion »

[@joankariuki2507]

I love this comment. I'm also struggling with being a kind child instead of being a nice perfectionist child

[@career5690]

Nicely said

[@purpleviolet9046]

Learning this now

[@SaidaAbdulaziiz]

How amazing ❤

[@jccn1728]

I need to work on my friendliness. Everyone is not my friend especially men. As a married woman, I’ve let this boundary be too loose

[@shayduncan8324]

I'm struggling with the same thing too,

[@user-xk6xt1gp5s]

This video is perfect for me! I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve been way too nice when most of the time people don’t reciprocate the energy to me. I love being a nice person, but i’m tired of being afraid to say no or stand up for myself and get stepped on.

[@avenriamorivalitorre]

Being nice is doing what other people want you to. Being kind is doing what’s best for other people

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

Well said.

[@bettyausten9533]

I dated a guy who always made me feel I needed to do more to keep him and I did ....most times he tells it to my face that I wasn't up to the kind of girls he dated in the past, he always made me feel so little and ugly about myself. I was just too deep to leave...I ended up leaving him after 5 years of relationship but it was so hard. Thank you so much for these videos ❤they are really helping me alot.

[@trulybianca]

This my favorite channel 💓💗💓💗

[@Lindamorena]

Yes girl me too

[@ajohonly3721]

Our favorite channel 💕🩷💗

[@bintokiria5338]

Me too..She is the reason am leveling up in my femininity and career . Am growing to love myself more every day and supporting other ladies around me too ❤❤

[@tiashadae1143]

Def one of my faves as well 😃

[@ucy8057]

Mine tooooooo 🎉❤

[@ShesaDiva822]

Another great post. I am innately nice person. It’s just how I’m wired. I’ve had to learn the hard way that people love to mistake “kindness” for “weakness”. And more than once people have had to find out that I’m not the one. Setting boundaries is a wonderful thing for your mental health and I’m glad you’ve touched on it. When talking about borrowing money, I thought of my husband who has stopped giving money to people on more than one occasion. He’ll send a screenshot of the last time they asked him for money and politely tell them, he can’t do it because they never paid him back from the last time, and goes on with his day. 😂

[@kimadiggs237]

😂😂😂😂

[@kimadiggs237]

“When you put yourself first, you’re not depending on the help or reciprocation of others. If someone ends up being a disappointment ( didn’t reciprocate the sacrifices you made for him/her), at least you already did what you need to do for you. 😢😢😢😢😢“ Some of us, if not most, didn’t understand this concept far too long. Because of that we are being slapped in the face; we have had a rude awakening! But thank God the awareness keeps getting stronger. Now we have the choice to be kind to ourselves.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@antisocial_socialite]

Someone got into the habit of asking me for money...I had to hit that switch real quick lol.

[@Solov_d444]

My behavior isn’t a rejection of u but protection of myself ❤

[@annieganim1057]

This is some of the most insightful wisdom I’ve ever heard. I’ve been called “too nice” since I was a kid and it’s followed me into adulthood. Your insight is a gift. What is life if you’re not able to turn painful experiences into something purposeful? You did that and your words resonate with me. I don’t know your story but I thank you for your vulnerability, wisdom, and loving heart.

[@Firefly-ht9fp]

Yes, I was too nice and trusting, and that deceitful man betrayed my trust. And, I have to take some blame, because I did not set boundaries when dealing with this vapid individual. My fault, I caused this!

[@deenadream]

You didnt cause it. He did. Stop blaming yourself

[@Firefly-ht9fp]

@@deenadream - Thank you for your kind words. It took a very long time for me to move on, but I have finally stopped blaming myself for an evil person wrongdoing. I feel happy now and I made peace with myself. No way, am I ever letting that jerk back in!

[@cherissewilliams8748]

While I don't consider myself overly nice, this was great advice for not being taken advantage of while still being a nice person. I loved the parts about changing relationships gradually and being willing to flip the switch! I'm looking forward to hearing more about the ben franklin effect and setting boundaries! Thanks, sis! Always learning here❤❤

[@nompumelelonkosi9023]

Bounderies

[@moniquejohnson59]

That part about change being gradual - that's EVERYTHING. So realistic! Yes to a boundaries video.

[@nicoleblake2700]

Boundaries

[@lenoralovell3761]

You have no idea what youvideos have been doing for my life. I gotta thank you. You cover such basic topics but so vital and essential. I have so much childhood trauma that has made my self esteem and confidence so low, also I had a stroke in 2015 so these videos have literally helped my progress and process mentally and physically grow and become human again. I thank you so much sis. You are truly a blessing 🥰

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

I'm so glad I can help, love! Cheers to continued health and continuing to become the absolute best version of yourself 🥂💕

[@TianaLadybug]

I have a huge problem with accepting to the point I go to a nail spa where they offer margaritas and I’ll say no thank you instead of just taking it, I’m going to say yes next time

[@courtnayedgerton3009]

I love this so much!! I am currently trying to stop being too nice so instead I was being cold which left a lot of people confused by my new behavior. Thank you for showing me what to do instead!!

[@felicefinesse7621]

I do agree that being overly nice is bad. I try to keep a fine line between nice and too nice in my day to day. You spoke the absolute truth on a lot of points. I’ll try to keep them in mind when I am placed in situation where a coworker is trying to take advantage of my kindness. Thank you for another post. I’ll be waiting for the next one. ❤

[@angelmd43]

You have the definition of nice and kind perfectly! My son thinks I am mean or hateful because I don't agree with him more times than not but when he is hurting I am there for him. God bless you!!

[@supervyk]

I dont like the lying to get out of a situation, just own your decision. No is no and thats okay

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

I personally prefer to spare my auntie's feelings when I don't want their food😅 But, everyone should absolutely do what they're comfortable with!

[@ginab5070]

Wow this is awesome I just learnt how to choose myself first and give the treat to myself first before attending to others.....at a point I felt, this was actually for me cos I have lived my life trying to always please people instead of myself and get myself hurt and frustrated most times...thank you for this inspiration

[@adventuresblissconnection4198]

I re/listen to your videos multiple times in a week. They are simple, sometimes chin-checking, and very applicable. Thank you. Keep doing what you’re doing!

[@lexiewalters6866]

Thank you for breaking this down, being the “nice girl” can be so exhausting because you’re not being authentically yourself, and honoring what you want. It’s a constant thing where you’re putting other people before you, which can lead to resentment and frustration. I’m still learning to work through this. It’s a process but I know I’ll get through it. Thank you for providing so much valuable content to us ! 🤍

[@kimadiggs237]

🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@suzykeleher2484]

I love the depth of the topic. Each and every episode !

[@barbarahJ.]

As always very good advice. One of the points that is most difficult for me is learning to receive and give thanks (I tend to think that I don't deserve it or that it's too much) but I'm working on it. Thanks for the video💖

[@user-zx3cs6xq7u]

I loved what you had to say. I have helped many people over the years. Usually only one way. What you said and how you said it hit home. It took this old lady over 50 years to figure that out. I agree with givers have to set boundaries because takers do not have any. Keep up the good work and I look forward to listening to the rest of these. You have a lot of wisdom. Thank you for sharing.

[@allyroberts9153]

I absolutely needed these videos! Thank you for making videos that are relatable, short and to the point 👍🏽👍🏽

[@adejareayobami1672]

Nice to have you, I've checked for the umpteenth time, thanks for all you do, we love you!

[@cokonma]

You are literally a blessing to women and I’m so glad that I found your content. Keep it up sis, I’m rooting for you❤❤❤

[@Daisy_518]

BOUNDARIES. Yes we need a video on building and reinforcing boundaries. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for giving such wise advice. Your videos are a tremendous help. Keep up the good work.

[@opulentgoddess]

Another thing that could help, just because you do something for someone doesn't mean they owe you anything. So don't do something for someone expecting a favor in return.

[@cynthiapereira8403]

They do owe you some gratitude if they asked for it.

[@karmen977]

Yes please, boundaries.. That's my biggest issue. Thank you to the moon and back for your excellent advices in all your content. They are perfect not only for young women but also for us women over 50, whom learning now to live for ourselves since we where thought to live first for our family. Send you much gratitude and love dear sister 🫶🫶

[@istudysuccess]

Thank you for this, Sis! ❤ As always, this video is beautiful and impactful. Personally, I have been transitioning from nice to kind and setting boundaries as a goal this year. It’s been very different, but I appreciate the peace I am experiencing. 🌺

[@alexb9022]

This is one of your best vids so far. Thank you for all that you do.

[@fantasia243645]

Thank you for all the editing, research and time that you havd put into making this awesomely actionable video. 💛 I greatly appreciate your polished work.

[@lindsaypeek63]

I really love love love your advice about being gradual and even offering suggestions and seeing how people react. This is def a feminine way to approach life

[@drea0795]

This is phenomenal-so well done!!! 🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I’ve improved so much over the years in this area, but I’ve found myself regressing a bit lately, so this was so relevant, timely, and skillfully informative-as ALWAYS!! Thank you again for your service/ministry. 🙏🏾

[@imternizamccartney3739]

BOUNDARIES

[@stwalker121]

Boundaries I love everything about your channel! Thank you so much for all you do!

[@devildiamond68]

It's about self-respect and confidence. Thanks for sharing this with the ladies, darling ❤

[@mikaelalopez4173]

Please do a video on boundaries and how to be assertive in a kind way ( with out being angry )! Thank you love your videos❤.

[@sholaaare8641]

Starting my self love journey and this will always be my daily video to keep me in check🌹❤️ thank you

[@stacijones6108]

I was waiting on this. Part 1 was great!❤Love it!!!❤️

[@TrickstoThrive]

Thank you for sharing this video. The difference between being too nice and being kind is important to recognize. Being too nice can lead to people taking advantage of your kindness. Kindness, on the other hand, is more selfless and involves understanding the other person's needs and providing support in a respectful way. Kindness is also less likely to be taken advantage of and can help build strong relationships. Being too nice often comes from a place of wanting to please others and gain their approval, while kindness is more about being genuinely caring and understanding. Being too nice can lead to people expecting too much from you and can often be seen as insincere, while kindness is more likely to be appreciated and reciprocated. Kindness is a two-way street and can lead to greater trust and understanding between people, something that being too nice often fails to achieve. However, there are also benefits to being too nice. For example, people who are too nice are often seen as more trustworthy and reliable. Additionally, being too nice can sometimes defuse difficult situations and help to build bridges between people. As Socrates once said: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

[@nakibirangosylvia8550]

Thank you so much for helping us safe guard our selves. I believe am the best version of me now Not a people pleaser.

[@tinakileo2781]

BOUNDARIES The excitement I get when I see your new uploads 🔥

[@esthercazeau6464]

My favorite channel, thank you for helping us growing in this feminine journey.

[@rachelmcvey8514]

I can literally like the videos before I even have watched it, this content is so consistently good!

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

I'm glad the content is steadily useful for you, Rachel! Happy to have you here 😊

[@charmaine920]

I can’t express how much I adore your channel, and all the realistic and helpful advise you give. It’s really refreshing! Thank you❤

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

You are so welcome, love! I appreciate this heartfelt comment 😘

[@AngelekaL]

I am always told how nice and kind I am, I think learning boundaries keeps me that way ❤

[@giamia.meditationen]

I love all your videos, thank you so much! It's the advice I never had and always needed. Also here for the boundarie video!

[@soundbiteswithBlessie]

I like how you have broken down each of these steps with carious videos. Thank you so much. You have had a true impact in my life.

[@kittinn7957]

Boundaries!!! I'm so fortunate to have found your channel. You have been such an incredible force of deep change in my life ❤

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

Wow! I'm so happy you're here and so happy I can help, darling 💕

[@finestgrowth]

My favorite part of the video is the nice vs kind part. I always say being nice & kind are not the same thing. Being kind means having boundaries you won't let people cross & being nice is like being a walking mat letting people walk all over you.

[@LadyTreble]

All of this is SO well said!!

[@zoheret15]

Boundaries. Love this video as well. Always lots of simple yet helpful tips.

[@PrincessSharifa434]

I LOVE the saying: "hitting the switch." Yasss. Definitely adding this to my vernacular!

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

People get a little confused sometimes! We have to politely get them together😅

[@PrincessSharifa434]

@@TheFeminineUniverse AB-solutely! As you were 💅🏾

[@jasevelyn4864]

Love this video! I feel like the collective is learning how to implement boundaries, me included

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

Glad you enjoyed it, love! I totally agree. We are learning _and_ applying 💕

[@kgalaletsoncube7507]

Boundaries I love this channel ❤

[@i_strawberri_judi9225]

Thanks for this. Very apt and succinct!

[@sharronandrews9260]

Boundaries❤ I just love and appreciate your videos, from the time I found your channel, I have been able to look inward and start working on myself. You have helped me understand some of my personality traits and much more. Love your voice, love your channel💕

[@suzykeleher2484]

Her voice just calms me immediately

[@Meg104D]

Yes - more on boundaries please!

[@ucy8057]

Boundaries! Thank you dearest 💓

[@aysenur4867]

Boundaries 🥰 A big thank you ⚘⚘

[@myrahouse2368]

BOUNDRIES are essential… Great information x

[@ernasheree01]

I appreciate this video. So much advice currently about boundaries is about how to be closed, how to cut people off, protecting your peace only. But I love that you also talk about ways that we can be kind and remain open, because some of us do really enjoy it. And so much practical advice, it’s much appreciated. I hope you had a great day 😊

[@tymcrae486]

Yes it has arrived getting comfy to soak this in

[@elizabethstea]

Boundaries please! Another brilliant episode!

[@zalbilly7159]

Thank you so much for this...I needed exactly this

[@ajohonly3721]

My girl came through again with game 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿.

[@missfavoured]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="763">12:43</a> We need a video about “Using the switch”.

[@slayfaee]

This is life saving, thank you so much for this!

[@VeronicaEstevez-zf6td]

Thank you ! Needed this 👑❤️🙏😊

[@missfavoured]

I have my own definition of ‘nice’ which focuses on having respect towards people, even if I don’t like them.

[@achieveandglow]

Thank you sooo much for the content!! Beautiful, simple and effective tips! Boundaries were nonexistent in my life, I was never taught to put me first. Thank you again!

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

You're welcome, love! I'm so glad this was helpful. Without exaggeration, boundaries will seriously improve your relationship with yourself and others. As well as your quality of life. You've got this!

[@achieveandglow]

@@TheFeminineUniverse thanks so much for the reply, I appreciate you ❤️❤️❤️

[@JULIETNAKANGU-mb5zs]

Thank you so much ….you inspire me so much and I have made a lot of changes in my life ….This feminine journey is really the best….I love you❤❤❤

[@FutureFendiFsnista]

These tips are great! Thank you so much!!!💛💛💛

[@deairrafox]

Perfect timing!❤

[@zothilemkhize8523]

Thank u sis, I've been waiting for this one so bad😊😊

[@lalovelylenea]

Thanks for the video, I always look forward to theses. (Boundaries 💗)

[@sunflowerbird8232]

This is hands down the best femininity channel. You're the best!

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

You're so kind! I'm so happy you're here and benefitting from the content 💕

[@Subplaylist1111]

Thanks for making this video, my cousin and her bf had gotten into a breakup and her bf kept blowing up my phone venting to me for support and help. My cousin also did the same thing. I keep getting used by people and I had to realize I’m letting it happen to myself bc I’m too kind.

[@christinaradford941]

I'm very grateful for this positive opportunity to reinvent myself ❤❤❤

[@alexandrasmith7682]

What a great posting!

[@beez2013]

Powerful advice here thank you so much 🥰

[@TweetyMarie012]

I really enjoy your channel. We definitely need that boundaries video. 💕💕💕

[@TheFeminineUniverse]

Boundaries video is up now! Glad you're enjoying the content love 💕💕

[@Visual_Ministry1]

boundaries. I'm learning about boundaries.

[@bibiannunez4723]

Definitely need to hear this ❤

[@ladyindigo1649]

That Benjamin Franklin effect sounds alot like certain people would rather you be indebted to them than the other way around.😮 I will try to practice kindness over niceness. Thank you for your tips.❤🙏🏽

[@TheTiscali1]

Being too nice attracts more takers than givers. Be selectively nice to people who you know don't take advantage those are the considerate and respectful people.

[@forevermoss4007]

Be the best version of yourself ❤, set boundaries ❤

[@noirbeautyambassador]

Boundaries! I want to know how to set them without having to go off... I usually give people several opportunities to but some people dont know when to stop and know when I mean it. my daughter believes that I am too nice, its just that I ignore plenty of things people do unless it will directly affect me or my children wellbeing... I really appreciate your advice.