How Do You HANDLE A CHEATER? (IS CHEATING INEVITABLE)

[@TheFilipinaPea]

👉My videos and the effort I put into them are 100% free for everyone to enjoy, and all I ask is that you leave a thumbs-up on any videos that you like and subscribe to my channel - I have never, and will never, ask you for anything else. For those of you that still wish to support my channel further, however, I’ve posted my links below. Thanks! 👉 Support through PayPal: www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=GC9T7PMLZ3BDW&source=url 👉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/thefilipinapea

[@georgephillips3625]

I'm glad you liked it. Salamat Pea!

[@soothingzounds73]

Needing some advice on a topic i think you can help me with. My new friend(filipina) wants to be courted and im fine with that. How do i do this in an ldr?

[@nickquest534]

I plan on moving there after the coronavirus and bring my KZbin channel there for the tech and video gamers I already have a good following in the tech and video gamers community I also have friends there that moved back to the Philippines I'm single but I'm not going there to look for wife I just want to be close to my friends and enjoy life

[@buddymartin1982]

Pea, IM me

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s very hard to do in an LDR! What she may be hoping is that you’ll send her (and especially her family) gifts of food or livestock 😔

[@chuckw3629]

A lady confessing that she cheated , i would have respect for that , and being the gentelman that i am , it will be a pleasure to help her pack her things ;)

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha I knew you were a gentleman, Chuck!

[@viuvenitlalumina]

@@TheFilipinaPea I like your double standards.

[@boracay12]

Girls won't admit to cheating until they are ready to pack their bags . And have a new guy already broke in 🙂

[@averagejo1626]

@@boracay12 I'd agree with you if my ex didn't **** a woman before we split. Yes she was the one who told me about the cheating, but there were way to many other issues going on for me to try keeping it going.

[@robdavidson1876]

Lol

[@Bogie6588]

HAHA!! Another great ending! And Pea, you are so amazingly wise beyond your years! God bless you always!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Bogie!! 😊

[@georgephillips3625]

I've had a few cheating women in my 63 years. I tried to make it work in a few but I never really got over it. I found myself constantly suspecting her and never regained mistrust in her. Ultimately we broke up on bad terms. We argued all the time. At first she would tell me she was going to go out with the girls and I thought it was fine. However,after she cheated I no longer trusted her and wanted to know where she was going and with who. I stayed suspicious of her. My take on cheating is hardened. Cheating is never an accident really. There had to be an attraction even if they didn't realize it. Cheating is a lack of respect and pure selfishness in my opinion.

[@michaeljohnbailey9719]

FILIPINAS ?

[@Aubatron]

I feel the same way. Once the trust has been broken, I'd never be able to get over it, would always be at the back of my mind. I would never cheat, so I could never trust someone who would. Guess I'm a member of the zero tolerance gang.

[@boracay12]

The ol girls night out . Haha ..when the cat is away ,the mouse will play .

[@DennisSleeswijk]

Well said and I would expand to that, there is no excuse of cheating. Alcohol? Don't get yourself drunk. Temptation? Don't spend time alone with the other sexe where you can develop feelings for another in wrong way etc etc. I guess I'm old fashioned but proud of it. I just recently broke up after I found out my 1st girlfriend cheated (I'm 40+ so I waited for the right one long time). I guess I have to be more careful and if I get the luck to find a good partner, I'll be sure she's puts God's morals and standards at the first place.

[@silverfoxidm]

It’s actually the deficit of a person as to the total revealment of their abject worthlessness b/c liars r no good to God He can’t use them they r no good to others as they can’t trust them & they r no good to themselves as they lie even to themselves - it’s only the honest that is the noblest work of God & today it requires a lantern at noon 🕛 day to find even one truly honest person so difficult 😣 to ever come across as there is at least a little larceny in nearly every person (1 Jhn 1.8)! Immorality is the WORST kind of cheating‼️Marriage is the only legitimate foundation to build a strong ONEness (Gen 1.26,27). Sin is sheer filth ‼️

[@stevensprinczeles3257]

Being in a serious relationship is all about commitment and honesty. A peck on the cheek is one thing, but having sex with someone besides your partner is wrong on many levels, even if you are up front about it. Me, I have a zero tolerance for sex outside the relationship. It flaunts the commitment one has made as well as the trust placed upon one's partner. My views may be old school, but I am old as well. It is how I was raised.

[@dfguko]

😂😂😂 your life is very boring dude

[@voice_of_change]

I too am old and yes did share those "values" until the tap and well went dry. I being honest said to my wife of 34 years I wasn't happy and was going to use prostitutes given the marital bed was no longer a mutual love nest. She refused to openly discuss the issue and we could never find common ground to discuss what was going on. One year later she spit the dummy and divorced took away a million or so and went off to Bali for 3 years squandering that wealth on Bali boys. Married no more!! Moral of the story when the communication ends whether verbal or physical the relationship no longer serves anyone's purpose especially after the kids have long ago left the nest and made their own lives. In the end no one is right or wrong its just individual realities and circumstance which differs so greatly that making moral judgement is meaningless.

[@virgilwilliams2378]

@@dfguko And you need to go to Church.

[@durindashaver6235]

I AGREE IT SHOULD BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR PARTNER

[@waterheaterservices]

Timeless wisdom is not old school.

[@tonymanning9067]

Once trust is broken it's never regained

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s basically my philosophy, but if there’s an immediate confession, I ‘might’ get over it 😊

[@markmulvaney8937]

I agree, once trust is violated it's over.

[@brianp6097]

I suspect that the girls would be more forgiving than the men, as was suggested in the video, even if mainly for economic reasons

[@chuck26241]

@@TheFilipinaPea You should forgive but more than likely you wouldn't forget and as I believe you put in another video you wouldn't risk giving your entire heart into the relationship of this type. What kind of relationship would you have without both giving 100% ? Convenience

[@edwardvara9993]

Hi Pea great topic. The truth bombs hurt but they are real. You missed one though. When the actual cheater accuses the other of cheating. Nothing is a better defense than having a great offense. Everything that the other one was accused of, the cheater was doing and more. I luv those little comments slipped in during your dissertation. Tell it like it is Pea. Take care and be safe Ed

[@montrosewilliams3183]

Don’t look or worry about cheating. Live life and have fun. If you are meant to be together it will be destiny. Great points Pea.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Montrose!

[@mypov4343]

Cheating breaks trust and is rarely recovered. I was divorced over it although it was about cheating with money, not a person. The only real recovery is to be the best "you" you can be. That is my wish for everyone here...including myself. Start with forgiveness! Pea, you truly are an old soul! Keep making a difference!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks MyPOV - I always like to hear what you have to say

[@kramsenoj1]

One more part in an impressive range of work Pea. Clearly defined, relative considerations and an understanding of the male and female divide. Cheating can be a very hurtful, undermining thing.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Mark! I do try to put thought into my content 😊

[@joehart7260]

I don't think I could handle it. Once that trust has been broken it's never going to be the same, even if you stay together.

[@princessn393]

True

[@n7357]

i think you could handle it .. unless you are saying that most women in the world who are cheated on by men are stronger than you .

[@TwoLotus2]

Well, if you accept that she has cheated on you, and there are no serious repercussions, you have just green-lighted her to do it again. Bamm! If you are not married, time to boot her out, and trade up.

[@garytaylor5937]

My Filipina was scamming a guy in the USA for money talking to him everyday saying she loved him and missed him and making plans to move to USA. Eventually I forgave her as wrong as it was. I guess when she has opportunity to get money she takes it. Coming from a poor country

[@DennisSleeswijk]

@@garytaylor5937 I just recently got kind of same situation. I did let her go after a good deep thought. In my opinion I dont question my girlfriends loyalty as Im loyal to my girlfriend. Broken that trust didn't do any good. Because I didn't question her loyalty she could keep this going for long time. Thats keeping secrets (deceptive), a second red flag. Just to gain more money while I provided generously for her needs, choosing material needs over love is not the right ingredient to overcome future issues. What would happen in future if I would loose my job for example? I only saw red flags and told her to go and be loyal to her next guy. (my girlfriend was african, also from a relative poor area)

[@davem475]

YOU are WAY too PRETTY to be this freekin SMART !! (and PRACTICAL TOO !!)

[@schneider9615]

That’s why as a man, you don’t fully invest / commit in a relationship unless and until you are serious about it. Make it clear from the start what your intentions are.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yup, being clear in this country is refreshingly rare 😆

[@robgrune3284]

"Pea" is very charismatic, charming, humorous, and well spoken. Thanks for the video!

[@stanleybriones518]

I remember when my best friend cheated with my wife and moved in right after we separated. We were heading down the "divorce road" anyway, but i felt betrayed. Then i remembered i cheated with his girlfriend in our early twenties. It was kind of a wash. Then he started calling me and telling me what a b-word she was. I laughed and said, "she's your problem now!" Man....those 80's were crazy! Everyone was doing everyone...like hamsters. But now, at 59 years of age, I would go with the 'zero-tolerance' because I'm too old for games and drama. I'm sure you're keeping track of this some how, right? Pea, thank you for your channel! Much love!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Oh yes, the Zero Tolerance Club has many more members!!

[@davidwhite2085]

You have truly looked deep into an issue that is usually too emotional for people to think about clearly

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I go where other KZbinrs fear to tread 😆

[@ron2713]

If you truly love someone, the idea of being with another person would never enter your mind, until you catch your partner cheating, then its dont let the door hit you on the way out

[@NYJGreatness]

A woman who sleeps around and cheats loses her value. A lot of them end up lonely and bitter.

[@n7357]

i hear you MD and i agree that a lot of women who cheat end up bitter .. they end up bitter because in the end they realize that they only did what lots of me do all the time but as a female she gets punished by society for it while the guys get away with it SCOTT FREE .. lol that would make any person bitter .

[@yumiyumi881]

how about a guy sleep on other woman?

[@yumiyumi881]

How about a guy a sleep other woman ?

[@ajosralastname7823]

What comes around goes around

[@llothar68]

Very conservative thinking. Why is a guy with a lot of chicks seen as the hero? And what is her "value"? She gets more and more experienced, so her value to man increases. Just try to get a good sexual performance out of your filipino Annalyn Average (virgin until 35) and you know that this is priceless.

[@thewolf8660]

"How do you handle a cheater?" Like...How do I break up with them, or how do I get rid of the body?

[@paulatudor691]

That’s funny . Make it look like a robbery.

[@paulatudor691]

Cheaper to walk away Wolf.

[@paulatudor691]

Pea and that lie has to have another lie to keep it up until you can’t remember the lies that’s why keeping it honest is the best way.

[@thewolf8660]

@@paulatudor691 I live near a swamp, so "disappearing" into the swamp and being eaten by Alligators would work too. Lol.

[@jolyonrussell7021]

Paula Tudor Deep freeze and a chipper -- then go fishing

[@cindygordon5242]

My son about 3 years ago got a phone call out of the blue , the male voice asked him if he was aware his wife was cheating at work ? The person hung up , he then called his wife and confronted her ! She never came home ! But they talked ! He offered to take her back , for the children’s sake ! She refused got divorced ! My son has custody of A 9 year old and 12 year old ! His wife called her boyfriend and told him she’s free they can get married , he laughed said it was just for fun he was not leaving his wife 😂 justice served !

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Oh my god, that IS justice 😊

[@keithhudson1358]

This whole topic goes back to the foundation of the relationship, honesty and complete and open communication

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Honesty and open communication are my ‘things’ 😄

[@viuvenitlalumina]

This girl is getting better and better

[@michaeljohnbailey9719]

Yes....but if your dealing with deep seated ignorance, and strange logic its not straight forward...

[@paulatudor691]

Once a cheater usually always a cheater.

[@paulbrown2210]

For me it was about seeing a change of behaviour. The delayed return home. The early leaving for work, the staying out overnight. My wife was 'counselling' another lady. But overstepped into emotional commitment and a physical relationship with her. The threesome idea wasn't something I was interested in so 25 years of marriage was ended. I was willing to forgive but with the requirement of not seeing and continuing the lesbian relationship but my wife was unwilling to stop her other relationship. Now I am happily married to a pinay for seven years after our 2 year courtship. Still learning to get through the many cross cultural issues 🤪🤣

[@waterheaterservices]

What a painful experience. Glad you are re married. Wish you best.

[@prepperjonpnw6482]

Good for you brother! You probably already figured it out but you will be much happier with a Filipina. May I ask if you live in the Philippines? Or elsewhere?

[@paulbrown6338]

My fiancee and I have an OPEN relationship. I am open to where ever she wants to eat and she is open to watching whatever I want on Netflix.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha Ain’t open relationships great? I have one of those too! He gets to OPEN doors for me, and I’m OPEN to him doing the laundry 😆

[@gregsoutdooradventures5423]

You are a brilliant woman Pea! Very refreshing to hear you views. Thanks

[@brunoknight5936]

I would rather be single than be with a cheater who wants me to support her. Best to remain single and be a butterfly.

[@adamwells1596]

Pea love sense of humor... and also the subtle sexual jokes you inject into the conversation. You are very witty, hope other viewers pick up on this aspect of your videos. Very amusing.

[@dragunovbushcraft152]

I'm the "You Cheated? You're OUT of here" type. One strike, you're OUT. There's NO excuse for it. My first wife of 13 years, cheated. I found out, then she was HISTORY. I sent her packing IMMEDIATELY. Emotional attachment of an opposite sex person, who is NOT family... Unacceptable. Hug a friend? ok. Kiss a friend on the lips? Unacceptable. One on one outings with an opposite sex friend? Unacceptable. Flirtatious texting? Unacceptable. Involvement of ANY kind with an "Ex", UNLESS it's to exchange the kids? Absolutely UNACCEPTABLE! NEVER date a female, who broke up with her current, for you. She WILL do the SAME thing to you. MEN: Keep it in your pants! It is NOT worth it! LADIES: KEEP your HEART and KNEES closed! It's JUST not WORTH it!

[@Mario-wy1lq]

Filipina Pea you need to come to the USA to hollywood.. You will be a super star in the movies.... love the last few minutes of your videos with your role play.. so cute and very well played.. :)

[@thehammer3340]

The matter of "TRUST" is everything 4 me. This pertains to everyone, not just a significant other, once the TRUST is broken and there's betrayal..hasta la vista.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yup, it’s all about honesty (which turns into trust) for me too

[@robertanderson3839]

You really are shooting from the hip and laying out the plan for for a relationship that is rocky from cheating. I feel you are one of the better channels on KZbin and like a powerful magnet AND CONTINUE TO PULL IN A STEADY STREAM OF VIEWERS. Keep up the good work. 4 MORE DAYS🎼🌺🌺🎂🍦🍺🍸🧁for the family!

[@stephenwhite3869]

Been there and that was the end of the marriage. I have learned when someone does that to you that relationship wasn't meant to be. Honesty is the best policy, don't get me wrong I have had lots of GF's and FWB but I always had the conversation what I was looking for upfront. Ps that doesn't mean things don't change,but I genuinely like the people I have relationships with and don't want to hurt them the way I was. Anyway if I do look at other filipinas it doesn't mean I would break my word, they are just so beautiful:)

[@bobinthewest8559]

A relationship is a commitment... If you can't resist the urge to be with someone else... You're not committed. Also, TRUST is EVERYTHING. You simply cannot be completely contented with a partner who you can't trust completely.

[@mamakodoon9711]

You got the whole world in your hands, me, him and them... I wonder who’s going to be tempted beyond there control. Darn him and them cheaters.Thumbs up Pea...👍👍

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yessss, I wonder who’ll be tempted, too! 😆

[@ianjohnson4753]

Life's too short to get upset lol. Your so cute and clever. Very wise too. Love listening to you and watching .

[@brianp6097]

Having experienced cheating from my ex wife, it’s definitely a no no from me. Put me down for the zero tolerance club also. That’s in my conversation from right at the start. Ps, loved your ending again Pea, Classic.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

No problem, Brian, I’m keeping score and so far the ZTC (Zero Tolerance Club) is winning with 78% of the vote!

[@breezeb8720]

Pea sounds very intense about this subject. The cheating is not the worst thing in the world but the lying and how it’s handled is what’s worse. Well done!

[@DRH4-0]

provocative topic Pea 😯 I guess, I wouldn't know how to react/respond until it occurs regardless of the "level" of the cheating. Trust is a difficult thing to regain.

[@omnapathaigirl532]

You are so wonderful to watch and listen to. Im a 52 year old single English guy sat in my home in London and can't get enough of your videos. You make me smile and laugh and I love all the thoughts and advice that you give. Wise words from a young person and you have a great insight into such matters of the heart. Culture is a massive part of this topic too and you did touch a little on it. Next time I come out to The Philippines when Covid is over I would love to meet you and your friends for dinner and drinks!

[@davediaz5447]

I share only as a lesson to others.Infidility occurred in mid of a 25 yr relationship.Over time there was some counseling but much was swept under the rug. Intimacy was stale, kids became adults and dreams and goals were not the same. Looking back, the heart for another ( prior too) had never faded. The moral....clean your closet before going anywhere!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

So true, Dave - a clean closet is a great way to start! By the way, which person cheated - male or female??

[@123spleege]

Brilliant, brutal,( in a good way), and correct in my opinion. Pea, you nailed the differences between men's and women's infidelity. And, you mentioned the cultural influences that may make cheating/forgiveness more acceptable. I have seen this all over the Philippines and they are too numerous to mention. I agree with your criteria for forgiveness. A liar AND a cheater is a NO-NO in any culture. So bravo on that one. However, when is a woman has an affair it typically is not for sexual gratification but for companionship, support, and to feel loved again. If that were to happen to me I would have to look a bit at myself and get real. I would also end the relationship. You are a badass little Pea!!!!!!! Salamat kaayo Pea!

[@joeblow3939]

Love the Pea. 👍 I love your closer, how you flipped it for a guy from a bad thing to he thinks it's the best thing.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Joe, I thought you might like that 😔

[@badbobby11]

After thinking about it i’m pretty forgiving. I tend to agree with you pea, although I would never do that myself incredibly hard to find somebody you wanna spend time with I wouldn’t wanna throw that away or risk that

[@jennymark7403]

Great conversation, your very well informed in life, have U travelled at all.your years ahead of your age very knowledgeable, keep it going pea well done

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Jenny, and yes I’ve traveled quite a bit

[@dragonrln]

Miss Pea, you nailed it. Yes, cheating is really about trust (and cheating isn't limited to sex.) Trust takes so long to build but can be shattered in an instant. But just as trust was built over time, it can be restored over time. An otherwise loving and fulfilling relationship is worth keeping if trust can be restored and maintained. And accidents do happen. The reason we lie to people is because the other person has made it clear that honesty will be punished. With a hope of honesty rewarded, then we are more likely to always be open and honest. And this is the foundation of trust and the only hope for a lasting relationship. As for me, I've been cheated on by my ex wife. But I have never cheated. For the record - I'm not a member of the ZTC.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Wow, Dragon - another minority opinion! I just love thoughtful responses 😊

[@dragonrln]

@@TheFilipinaPea Often in the minority - and unashamed about it.

[@danielmoore1232]

That ending was really funny. Lol!!!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Daniel! They’re always fun to make, too 😊

[@thblkhnd]

Yeah it was kinda funny😂😂😂...especially the "tip" and ,"shaft the bartender" innuendo..it cracked me up😂😂😂. Pea was lookin kinda good serving up the laughs

[@wadetheworkingmanwofford6045]

Like all of your videos, this is a great subject, educational in multiple perspectives, open minded and very entertaining. I bet you could do a video on Quantum Mechanics and Black Holes without ever loosing one audience member. Being a westerner that has been cheated on by many western woman, I can relate to many things you are covering. I have been physically and emotionally cheated on by western women. After years of reflection, the dishonesty was the biggest betrayal, especially since I was completely honest with each one that cheated on me. I am not that old but feel old just by the experience and woes of being married to a western woman. Even years after the divorce, my time is still manipulated through the activities of the children. What I have also learned is that honesty can be part of the education of each person, as you have mentioned in previous videos as well. When an educated honest person uses language that the uneducated partner doesn't understand, it can be perceived as being dishonest to them since they have no reference to what the educated partner is talking about. Also, trying to explain situations to an uneducated person from an educated standpoint is completely futile in most ways. My current wife is well educated and half Filipina. We both love your videos and even watch them together at times. You truly bring information and perspective to light that is very much needed in this world for eastern and western cultures alike.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Wow, thanks for the thoughtful input, Wade, and I’m very flattered that you and your wife actually watch my videos together! So which ones does she hate the most? Hahahahaha

[@wadetheworkingmanwofford6045]

@@TheFilipinaPea LOL! She actually likes all of them. Ironically enough, she has some of the same perceptions that you do, due to her level of education and honesty. She tells me often that you are not a typical Fillapina at all and neither is she. You have been reiterating things she has been wanting me to learn more before we visit the Philippines to see the rest of her family.

[@markscherm5512]

If your Filipina GF cheats , her girlfriends will most certainly let you know all about it. Your phone will go off like 100 fire alarms.Then her best friend will be happy to explain it all to you in grisly detail... later; over dinner. 😅

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha Soooooo true! You’ve obviously spent some time here 😆

[@jtpett39]

Preach on!

[@jamesadventuresnearfarphil5609]

Because all the girlfriends eager to take her place lol

[@gavino2250]

Mark Scherm not always .. filipinas in the province are very very secretive they at times help cover up .... beware

[@kazi1]

Lmao

[@ludlow7369]

Pea you are either a savant or just very wise beyond your years. And although you obviously live in the PI, from your Americanized english and incredible depth of understanding of western (probably U.S.) culture, you almost had to have been educated here. I've seen many of your videos and love 'em all, and you can't get your level of culture understanding from a book. Absolutely love your channel Pea!

[@rivirme]

Pea is brilliant!

[@bobjackson4720]

You are such a smart lady, every video you do is a gem.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Bob!

[@scottbrown321]

Yes, being human and making a mistake is one thing. but lying about it is the next level. forgive the first and not the second. but grace is what we all need. forgiveness.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

You sound like me, Scott, about ‘maybe’ forgiving the first offense

[@scottbrown321]

@@TheFilipinaPea I just sent you a financial gift. I really appreciate what you are doing for humanity!

[@kellymccreary3259]

When I was in the marines in Subic late 80s we had a private all nite party on top of a roof of a bar. Girls were talking about how stupid sailors are. One girl had 5 different navy fiancee's. All were sending her money.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Okay, now THATS cheating! 😁

[@reawakenedcuriosities4386]

@@TheFilipinaPea that's not cheating, that's scamming

[@terrytico4009]

@@TheFilipinaPea She was a professional cheater in at least 2 different ways. I doubt if she has many guys chasing her now so karma caught up to her.

[@patotoole9200]

It’s true. I was stationed there at same time. They milked Americans, Aussies too. To be fair, most of us only wanted ass.

[@tkrob36]

Wow ship mate that’s crazy but there are many sailors we do fall in love in every port I know I did.

[@Jordy120]

Thanks Pea. Good video as usual! Lying is a big issue for me, so this includes, not only personal, but other relationships as well.

[@robjulian2955]

My Filipina girlfriends, friends, told me she cheated on me. When I asked her in person, she confessed. I was crushed when I found out about her affair. I broke up with her, and cutoff communication with her and her family. 2 months later, her friends told me that my ex girlfriends "boyfriend" (local pinoy), cheated on her, and dumped her for another girl... Lol, what comes around, goes around. She immediately tried to get me back... I was having no part of it. I continued dating other filipina's for a while, but after almost a year... we got back together, and so far no issues at all. However, she knows this is a "Last Chance" to not mess up again. She was 20 when she cheated, she is almost 22 now, (and has a 3 year old daughter, not mine) Her friends and neighbors tell me that she is being more responsible now, and they are on my side, and will let me know if she messes up again, we will see. She has asked multiple times for my forgiveness, and I granted it to her. She knows there are lots of girls waiting for her to mess up again, Lol.

[@nandorblue]

She must be really good in bed for you to take her back after what she did. I hope you stay on top of this.

[@michaeljohnbailey9719]

Shit... Are you overweight and ugly, boring,desperate? Old? Inexperienced I. Relationships? That's extremely sad and sounds desperate. Your prob lazy and poor? No good in bed? Strange tale......maybe you have bad body odour.... Sad story That hasn't ended

[@lajuanbest7990]

Great topic Pea. It do depend on the situation. I do agree that a lie to cover up cheating will only make it worse. Like the old proverbs saying “ fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Lajuan - and fool me three times, and I’ll get some serious revenge on ya! 😆

[@arnoldseay9118]

I was stationed in the Philippines at a young age. I met a girl in a bar and fell in love. It was my first time. I thought I could change her and things were good for 15 years then the stepping out started. By then we had 4 kids and I forgave her but it didn’t stop so I moved to a smaller town away from her old friends and things went good for a few more years. Then it started again. By then the kids were grown and they were all really pissed at her. She moved out with her boyfriend and that was it for me. A few months later she said her vacation was over and she wanted to come back but I went ahead and finalized the divorce. I felt relieved although I felt like a failure. I did meet another woman who is Chinese filipina but from a more stable background. We have been married for more than 10 years and it’s going good. I never one time cheated on my ex and I would never consider cheating now. I do have female friends from my past that are close as well as she has friends from her past but just friendships. Some people don’t seem to understand men and women can just be friends. Great video. I like to see your insight on these subjects.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Wow, Arnold, that’s really sad! I’m so sorry that happened to you!

[@arnoldseay9118]

The Filipina Pea it was a long time ago and time heals. I got 4 great kids out of the deal. I’m glad for your videos and hopefully others will consider the risks before making mistakes.

[@EDINTHEWIND]

OMG!! I am so jealous about Emma! LOL! Treat others how you wish to be treated. All the best Pea.

[@davidkaiser810]

Many cheating situations start with small little flirtations. I believe that if you are with someone that you are suppose to be in love with then your love and attention should be directed to him or her. This builds strength and confidence. The result is a relationship that you cherish and you get all your emotional and sexual needs met....

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yup, it always starts with ‘innocent’ flirtations .....

[@paulbucklebuckle4921]

It's a nice idea but often not true,,

[@happywanderer5632]

Well said David. That's exactly how they start, just little "harmless" flirting, and soon it's full on ménages in seedy hotel rooms and the trust has gone. Zero tolerance is the only way to keep a lid on it. Sounds harsh, but tough titties, that's the way I roll and I'm in the wrong relationship if my partner doesn't feel exactly the same way.

[@pappadappacarhauler757]

Very well thought out Pea. You would be a great educator. Excellent points. Keep up the superb video’s

[@Jjwalways70]

Any romantic involvement be it mentally ,physically is the cut off , there is no need or excuse for infidelity or betrayal . You both need to discuss boundaries in the beginning , you cannot grow together strongly emotionally as a couple or family unit with children when you don’t feel safe in your relationship , I think your partner deserves the respect of your loyalty , if you don’t think you can be happy and loyal with your partner don’t get married to them or have a relationship . I don’t believe in having someone while waiting for the one , that’s a cop out .

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I wish more people thought like you do, and didn’t just have ‘someone’ while waiting for their true mate. It never ends well

[@Jjwalways70]

No it doesn’t pea , love hurts when ones giving all of themself ,laying all their deepest fears and dreams out to bare and the other is just passing time with a friend with benefits . I laughed at your 3 some gag at the end , that shit never works either , you cannot be totally committed to someone when your giving away to another the most sacred thing you can physically . I couldn’t do that , I couldn’t stand to watch another man or woman touch you , it would break me .

[@MrSolidman48]

I think that is a perfect perspective Pea. By no means is it acceptable under any circumstances for a man or a woman, but sometimes life happens. A weak moment and a strong pursuer in a rough period in a relationship and things can happen. Now...if someone cheats when things are good and your love is strong....well....that speaks to the character of your mate. Actions speak louder than ANY words ever will. Without Honesty and Integrity you have nothing but a "time killer". Another great job Pea......you ROCK gurrl🤗🤗🥰

[@rogerbryan3023]

I’m in a LDR and I will never ever cheat because it would break her heart and it is a horrible thing to do and we are both to old to behave like that

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I’m glad to hear you have safety, security, and love, Roger - hold on to ‘em!

[@tonycisco5252]

After spending my youth being a cheater with no rules.. I learned when it finally happened to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Pea.

[@MrBiloxifireman]

Honestly you need to have the sex talk before the relationship gets to that point. I told my wife back then that this American woman habit of only wanting sex a few times a month or even a year was not going to be acceptable. After my grandfather had prostate cancer we did some research and apparently a guy needs to have a release every 2 to 3 days to reduce his risk for prostate cancer. So are agreement is sex at less once every 3 days and if this doesn't happen I'll worn her a few times and then ill let her know I'm going to find a girlfriend. Its very straightforward and to the point. If you keep your man happy most will not cheat. If someone cheats during a health sexual relationships then it's probably a character flaw. Move on to a different person!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

“If you keep your man happy, most will not cheat” I totally agree 😊

[@wernerschneider4460]

Sex was never of real importance in the 23y of our marriage - neither for me nor for my wife. It happened occasionally. But we are very close without it too - and we are both not prudish. Maybe it was, because both of us were already in our mid-30s when we got married.

[@heatherfeather9951]

Honestly that's not common with American women. If I'm with someone, I want to sex at least once a day. Of course I like mutually pleasurable sex, not where I'm treated like a human sex doll. Too many American men only want one-way porn sex (often very rough and extreme) that only pleases them.

[@SaintNobody]

@@TheFilipinaPea I have this really kinky fetish. I love it when a beautiful woman does my taxes...

[@greggyp647]

@@wernerschneider4460 I read that and it was as if I was reading it in Korean (I know no Korean). I have no understanding of sex not being important in a relationship, especially to a guy. In a way, I envy you.

[@johnrome6457]

Cheating under any circumstances is not acceptable.

[@HeartsOfOdiumTTRPG]

I don't know. I never cheated before. And to my knowledge I've never been cheated on. I guess it would depend on how strong the relationship is.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Wow, Derrick, you are one lucky man!!!!

[@joelogan46]

I was married to a young woman who said she thought a woman should have a husband and also a lover. I thought about it for awhile and said I think your right. So the next day I took this college girl friend in my class to a restaurant, then a hotel as my lover. When I told my wife I found my lover has she found hers? Then the fight started, the beginning of the end.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha

[@kasperkjrsgaard1447]

Been there - done that. I fell in love with a Chinese bargirl of all things while working in China. It didn’t vent well with the missus. She was devastated and i felt like the biggest prick available. And propably was too. Of course our relationship ended and I’m still feel guilty now more than ten years later. To see her pain was heartwrenching. I could never cheat again. It just hurts too much. So today cheating is a no-go to me - in either way. If the trust is gone there’s nothing left except the sorrow.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Well at least you learned from it, and had sincere remorse! By the way, if you’re the biggest prick available, ummm ..... are you available? Hahahahaha

[@ethansuckbutt5495]

@@TheFilipinaPea hahahaha sweet Pea is a size queen not good for me coz Na a koy gamay lagay. hahaha

[@greybeard2324]

@@TheFilipinaPea wow 🤔 hahaha😂🤣love ur wit

[@dragonrln]

@@TheFilipinaPea Cute!

[@johnstoutenburg7163]

sorry Kasper. you tried your best and God forgives you. i see a good man in you. go try again...there are many women could use a good man like you in their life

[@owenhalloran6234]

Oh Pea, you really hit on a hard topic this time. There are too many variables that goes into this question other than just the whole cheating thing. So many in fact that it really can't be answered here. Not without more information and even then the entire dynamics of each relationship comes into play. Too many questions that are unanswered at this point to give a good response. Just to give a quick answer to the basic question. I think I would just have to move on. This is such a tough one. To be honest life is to short to waste it on someone you cant trust. Again its really dependent on other variables that we have not discussed here. You hurt my brain and my heart with this one, but you're still the best Pea !!! TFS

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, lots of variables - I’m glad you understand that it’s not as black and white as some would believe

[@daviddodge9607]

I cheated once when I was younger , a one off with a shopgirl . I told my gf the next day . I felt so bad , she was devastated . I will never cheat again , the pain I caused wasn’t worth it

[@TheFilipinaPea]

The fact that you felt so bad about it and admitted it means you’re a very decent person - I would probably have forgiven you 😊

[@daviddodge9607]

The Filipina Pea thanks pea , she didn’t trust me after that and we split but you do learn more about yourself in these times . If you have someone that loves and trusts you then you are very lucky 🙂

[@jeffreyroot6300]

That’s a big part of it! I couldn’t bear to hurt my Lady!

[@lcmichaels7215]

@@TheFilipinaPea forgiveness seems to be a trait abundant in the Filipino culture. Not so here. here in the States, it's all about chopping them off at the knee to make it easier to kick them in the teeth.

[@machinary20]

Bomb!!!!!!!!excellent Pea and great words and combination. Your looking very attractive!!!!!!

[@catman3953]

There's an old saying: "A man needs only a place, but a woman needs a reason."

[@dwighttaylor5107]

It was great that you put it out. Awesome nice to hear someone talk about the issues.

[@shootingstar999]

I had to end things with my gf because she's a serial cheater. She's a tour guide and she would often sleep with her male guests right after the tour. So disgusting!!!

[@sunnybeaches5622]

If we’re talking a 1 on 1 tour, the Filipinas see the term ‘tour’ as all inclusive. Just saying...

[@TheFilipinaPea]

How did you find out????

[@shootingstar999]

@@TheFilipinaPea I had a suspicion and I contacted one of her guests, who was more than happy to spill the beans.

[@red-hat-mike]

Pea., your views and maturity on taboo/sensitive topics amazes me. Great video ....

[@DanielSmith-tn8un]

The quickest way to fix a broken heart, is find someone new

[@taxenco]

That's the fastest way to disaster. Spend your energy in yourself, love yourself and it will fix way more things in your life than a broken heart. :)

[@Caoimhin93]

Not necessarily. Jumping strait into a new relationship to soon can be a huge disaster

[@jefffletcher241]

Stick to rentals for a while. :)

[@smevamer3659]

I had a load of stories I could relate to this .but the end bit where you said you slept with another girl and she wanted to meet your partner and it was instant forgiveness.brilliant and so true lol.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha I’m glad you liked the skit at the end, Smev 😊

[@jeffreyroot6300]

I tend toward hearing her out and being lenient , at least once! I trust my wife because being suspicious would lead to more distrust, paranoia and eventually would drive even a faithful partner away. I know she had other options and chose me to begin with! I have a wandering eye, it’s almost impossible not to look! The only time I started feeling anything for someone else, the guilt was corrosive. No cheating for me!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

You’re the FIRST person to respond that might consider leniency! Me too - sometimes ..... maybe ..... it depends 😆

[@jeffreyroot6300]

The Filipina Pea Exactly! It depends! Right now, cancer treatments have left me deficient in certain ways. I have to take that into account, too!

[@thomasstewart3]

Good show Miss P. I wish I could brag that I have evolved somewhat but I must admit. I’m perfectly capable of treating a liaison with a stranger, or even a friend as a casual encounter. Plus I don’t get that hung up if it happens that my partner does the same. However friends and family would be off limits. The worst cheating in a relationship is the lying. That is more of a dealbreaker than the physical aspect.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Wow, Thomas, thanks for that minority opinion! Most of the other commenters (but not all) have been in the Zero Tolerance Club 😊

[@mikefoodee7846]

"You cheated with a girl? Well that's wonderful honey! Yes I would love to have a 3 way". Some people have all the luck.

[@SaintNobody]

While she's cheating, again, use the extra time to put her stuff on the curb.

[@Volar777]

THis was the best video i have ever seen or heard in regards to cheating. You are precious Pea what a mind and sense of humor.

[@georgefair3244]

Hello Pea, My wife and I had two kids and then she got pregnant again and we had twins . Then I found out that the twins had a different Father. I raised the twins as my own and DIVORCED my cheating ______ wife. "Once a Cheater, always a Cheater".

[@TheFilipinaPea]

OMG, George - how did you find out they weren’t yours? What did your wife say about it? Did you ever find out WHY she cheated??

[@jeffreyroot6300]

That sucks! But you aren’t alone. I remember back in the eighties and nineties there were surveys done in the US suggesting a high percentage of third and later children in a family were fathered by someone other than the husband.

[@johnstoutenburg7163]

wow you are the MAN,

[@georgefair3244]

@@TheFilipinaPea We were not living in the same house when she got pregnant ,so it was easy to figure out what happened. Her friends told me what was going on. I couldn't believe anything that she told me because she would never tell me the whole story about anything. The good part is that I have four Sons now that I Love. Take care, George.

[@jorgejorge66]

I thought about it, and I figure you are more than my bartender. You are the the most perfect Filipina in the Philippines. appreciate

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Well thanks for thinking carefully before deciding, Jorge!! 😔

[@LaughtersHouse]

"Cheating" like pornography, you know it when you see it. For me once that trust is broken, I'm done. But, I do feel, cheating for men and for women is very different. I agree 100% with what you said.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks for agreeing with my controversial position, I L 😊

[@UrsulavonB]

@@TheFilipinaPea Your' observations are not controversial at all. Females are hurt because of the time involved, emotions involved: not the psychical sex act. Males typically are hurt because of the psychical sex act that attacks their manliness, self image. Westernized counties females are playing the field until their 28-30 years old and then find a smuck to marry them. Have one or two marriage insurance kiddie. After the kids are 18 years old or sooner, start looking for a grass is greener new guy. Counties that are heavy feminist like Holland, 70% 1st marriage divorce rate.

[@steveokahn7249]

Once again, wise beyond your years. As you point out, hard to discuss the subject because cheating has no clear definition. In reality, only the people involved in the relationship can define what cheating is. Over the years, I have run across a few "non-traditional" marriages. Like all marriages, some work in the long-run, some don't. Successful ones seem to have four traits in common; 1) the relationship takes priority over all other activities, 2) mutually agreed upon rules and boundaries, 3) honest communication (no secrets), and 4) emotional monogamy. Pretty much things all strong relationships should have, because they all are needed to maintain trust and loyalty. There are a variety of understandable reasons why couples may have sex with others outside of the relationship. Where I have seen real problems happen is when it involves emotions and intimacy...where one of the people has a lover, not just sex partners. I definitely agree with you on the "why", it does matter. Having sex and making love are very different and I don't think many people can be happy in a relationship when their partner is making love to someone else. Just my opinion.

[@zushikatetomotoshift1575]

this is how to handle a cheater break up with them. Once a cheater will always be a cheater. I made that mistake giving a chance and it repeated history. Depends on the level of cheating. This is a break up for sure one your other has sex with others now that's cheating.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Okay, so we already have our first member of the Zero Tolerance Club 😆

[@zushikatetomotoshift1575]

Open relationships are different because having sex with others is part of the agreement in open relationships.

[@zushikatetomotoshift1575]

PS it's not difference if a male cheats or a female. It all ends the same way. I agree with you.

[@zushikatetomotoshift1575]

Well the spying video you did does go along with cheating. Hints that is how I busted most cheaters. If they hide cheating break up but if they feel bad and sorry that may be fixable. But with my history of people cheating on me I would say many of the times break up is the better option.

[@zushikatetomotoshift1575]

That last part you did was funny as hell. xD Good work.

[@themacker894]

The more of your videos I watch, the more impressed I am with your wisdom, far beyond your years. Extra points for seeing life as it really is, and for not being afraid to say so. Thanks for taking the time to make this video.

[@homebasebelgium359]

I'm a member of the zero tolerance club, Pea! And as for my moral standards: they were fully developed by the time I was 12! ;-)

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Well you are definitely in the majority, HB!!! 😊

[@durindashaver6235]

GOOD HOPEFULLY ALL GUYS AND WOMEN HAS A GOOD MORAL

[@tmmartin50]

Entertaining treatment of a provocative topic - a winning combination! Plus...a very classy looking dress!

[@paulsnyers5721]

The 'bonus' ending made me fall of my chair.... hahaha And I already told you how the cheating issue would be handled in my couple.. For your info I clicked 'Like'.. lol (But in this case you subject was a universal one, not specifically filipino.)

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Paul! And yes, I purposely didn’t use the words “Filipina, foreigner, or westerner” one single time! It’s a first for me 😊

[@dalemoss871]

Loved your post. Thoughtful and thought-provoking, as usual!

[@happyguy7836]

BUT WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!! (name the reference...8D )

[@antimonycup7066]

lol... poor Ross

[@frederickbaumann3614]

Excellent video, in most of the things you said I agree with one exception. I usually have a talk with the women that want to date me ( it goes something like this ) if you find someone else that your interested in just let me know and we can remain friends, if you cheat and lie to me then its over. Fortunately I have experienced one situation where I went to my gf's house and there was another man there. 16 years later were still best friends.

[@wallysworld1635]

Nice perspectives Pea. Having ended a 20 year marriage as the ex was having affair with another man makes it fairly easy for me to pass judgement. Physical, sexual interactions between one’s partner and an opposite gender would be the deal breaker. This is my zero tolerance policy. Everything else in the cheating area a becomes 50 Shades of Gray (😉) and a lot of variables and situations. A close female friend of mine (happens to be a lesbian) said to me... ‘There isn’t a straight woman out there if she has shared wine with other female friends’. Very on point to your closing remarks 😂. Definitely opens the conversation if you are the guy and your female partner spent time with another woman. 50 shades for sure. Great topic and keep them coming. 😊👍

[@crosbyd1962]

You hit the nail on the head i agree with you 100% having been there twice both times they denied covered up and lied zero trust going forward so it was bye

[@roguetiger3163]

An extremely intelligent and mature woman who sees life from multiple angles.....an absolutley brilliant ending verging on genius " cheating is a choice not a mistake"

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks, my Rogue!! 😘

[@pattskatoey3139]

Go Pea.All women need to hear this.You are so right on the likely reasons a woman will cheat.

[@themikesullivan1]

When you throw out a truth bomb, it floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. At 6:37 on this episode you made a very correct statement, "When a woman cheats it is not usually for momentary sexual pleasure. It is more often for emotion, intimacy, or an intention to change partners." Back in the day I was seven years into a relationship with my then live in girlfriend when she decided to "test the waters" with one of her co-workers. This turned into a secret affair that lasted several months. While she sorted out her emotional and intimacy issues by letting her co-worker wear her like a hat, she used me as a financial supporter, as a target for her verbal abuse, and as a back-up (secondary) horizontal aerobics partner. A good friend of mine once said, "A new broom may pick up more dirt than the old broom, but the old broom still knows ALL the corners." This was a great episode, Pea. Keep up the good work. Shout out from Sacramento, CA!

[@daveduffy2292]

Hay pea, great insight into all types of relationships. You sure have been in this world before..it’s not you first time here...your way beyond your years and your English is better than mine. I’m in awe

[@L4P-Monk]

This older person has seen a lot of this crap. I’m more likely to not start a relationship now. Just sayin. Peace ✌️

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s a valid response, too! Just sayin’ 😆

[@michaeljohnbailey9719]

I disagree totally, a half awake guy should be able to work out good from bad ....right from wrong, especially when they are older, older should bring experience along with common sense and logic, if you cant find the perfect partner out of thousands and thousands of girls ......well I'm sorry to say you have issues there somewhere...or just plain dumb...just saying

[@ianrichardson3228]

Never give up! You are only as old as the woman you feel.... ;-)

[@timhardman4764]

Ha! Pea you are hilarious. Loved you skit on the phone at the end. How a person "frames" it is everything. I also respect you for recognizing science, evolution and the built in genetics pushing the male species of all animals to aggressively inseminate other females at every opportunity in order to propagate the species and the genetics guiding females to be selective of who they allow to inseminate them. Although it is true that men have evolved and learned over time that acting only on their biological urges can be counter productive to a long term relationship, those urges are still there all of the time and one must constantly deal with them. Some men have stronger urges than other men in the same way some women have an urge to get pregnant and be a mother more than other women do. Both are biological urges, the maternal one is accepted in our culture as normal and good and the male biological urge to reproduce indiscriminately is looked down on by society and culture. Adding a lot of alcohol to a male with biologically strong urges has a predictable result. He could still love his wife only and at the same time want to have sex with all of his wife's friends.

[@davldmorand8125]

I'm with you.. love it! You always make me laugh. And sad i can't find a genius like you!