Best of Michael's Misquotes - The Office US

'That's sort of an oaky after-birth....'
All the times Michael Scott would try words and phrases that were way out of his vocabulary
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Welcome to The Office Channel!
This channel is dedicated to everything The Office, from behind-the-scenes videos to fan theories. We'll be uploading new videos every week, so be sure to subscribe and hit the bell icon to be notified when we upload new content.
In this channel, you'll find:
* Behind-the-scenes videos: We'll take you behind-the-scenes of The Office, showing you how the show was made and what it was like to work on set.
* Fan theories: We'll share some of the most popular fan theories about The Office, and we'll even share some of our own.
* Episode recaps: Relive your favorite moments from Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, Jim Halpert, and more…
* Character interviews: We'll interview the cast and crew of The Office, getting their insights into the show and their characters.
* Peacock exclusives: We’ll upload never-before-seen deleted scenes, bloopers, and gag reels.
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[@jackieweaver3884]

"I am an early bird and a night owl, so I am wise and I have worms"

[@zillailluhr]

noobmaster69 lmao

[@danhantheman]

Early worm gets the worm

[@rmnvishal]

Stop bothering Korg, okay?

[@randomness5281]

Who's your worm guy

[@DressedRunner]

Space force

[@lanceunarajaeu9397]

"Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three." Is actually a good quote tho

[@aekara1987]

@ken wesaw Bush said "Fool me once, shame on ... shame on you. Fool me... You can't get fooled again!'"

[@nathanvanderpool1175]

Yeah, I always wondered, what is the correct version of that quote? Because I’ve definitely heard something like that before, I’m just not sure exactly what it is because all I remember is the Michael Scott version.

[@MisterBlindt]

Nathan Vanderpool “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”

[@nathanvanderpool1175]

ken wesaw very funny... it posted twice for some reason.

[@fungique1107]

Catdog10Films fool me once shame on thee, fool me twice, shame on me

[@sashavaknansky3176]

i love how angela says “amen” when michael says that stanley is going to hell for adultery when she has commuted adultery SEVERAL times

[@iamme6581]

lol@commuted...

[@hjelsethak]

A nod to you, good person.

[@meenaksi1082]

She was the biggest hypocrite

[@anrit5972]

Nope she wasn’t married

[@alyssalauren8088]

She wasn’t married but still yeah fs that’s a good point

[@shilohcox1919]

Michael: “Erin, scissor me” Erin throws a pair of scissors to Michael Pam is speechless

[@joycampi7233]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@underthesea713]

lmfaoooooooooo that's actually one of the funniest scenes in the whole show idk why 😭😭😭

[@mattslupek7988]

I was actually pretty impressed!!

[@eileensnow6153]

@@mattslupek7988 no seriously, how many times did they have to practice that? I’m assuming they were prop scissors but geez, Carell could’ve lost a finger lol

[@AlexE5250]

@@eileensnow6153 in the office ladies podcast Jenna says they didn’t tell her that was going to happen, she thought they were throwing a real pair of scissors and they got a genuine reaction

[@jackieochoa7806]

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way” - *Michael Scott*

[@quintaldoyagami]

Jacky Ochoa my favorite lol

[@willowwilliams7282]

like an improv conversation

[@th3rasave]

Tbh that's how I talk XD

[@fireflyzen]

Me writing an essay in school

[@Kube_Dog]

"Hindsight is 50-50. It's not all peaches and roses. I tips my hat off to em." - Blacks.

[@andreacasaskelly9654]

“His last name is christ, he has the power of flight, he can heal leopards”

[@dogefan12349]

@Joey G No, that's not it. Check your facts before correcting others you fool.

[@DeliriousSquid]

That part cracks me tf up. I swear he was meaning to say leper but said leopards. I love him sm 😂😂

[@DeliriousSquid]

@Kevin Estrada yes m8 *lepers- a person who has leprosy. The joke is that Michael said he heals leopards instead of lepers 😂🤦

[@Tristore22fan]

@Chick Magnet Joe it's flight.

[@Tristore22fan]

@Kevin Estrada lepers**

[@thisusermustdie]

“Not necessary, the party planning committee is all over it. They’ve been working 24/7 all day yesterday.“ -Micheal Scott

[@adisonlopez181]

I cannot stop reading the title as ‘Micheal’s Mosquitoes’

[@anjanach9253]

Same

[@mmsibi]

Me too!

[@michapiechowski1810]

Thats fitting

[@yurinoworry]

A misquote in and of itself lol

[@your_average_boston_fan3464]

Same lol

[@zeezeenu]

Jan: I underestimated you Michael Michael: well, maybe next time you’ll estimate me

[@DeadSpacedOut]

wait but...live and let live is an actual saying lol, yet it was in this video, i guess the guy who runs this channel doesnt even get the joke lol

[@russBwright]

Deadspace493 I guess that your guess is a guess

[@DeadSpacedOut]

@@russBwright you should tolerate the opinions and behavior of others so that they will similarly tolerate your own. (thats the meaning, not a guess

[@leahdoherty2090]

AHHAHA

[@joedorben3504]

@@DeadSpacedOut Yea but "live and let die" is more commonly used

[@n14ml]

My personal favorite: “Would I rather be feared or loved, um both, I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

[@ellcally508]

Yes!

[@evelinke]

This one is actually amazing

[@BeCuzImBatman]

It reminds of the iron man quote

[@emilinebelle7811]

Same. 😅

[@mrkiky]

What about Micheal's philosophy? _don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who or who you were with or where you are going or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever_

[@name_1617]

“My MiNd Is GoInG a MiLe An HoUr” “that fast?” LMFAAOO I CAANNNTTT

[@monkeydude9192]

I actually kinda like it as a saying. It’s like saying that you’re so stressed that your mind has just shut down

[@PtylerBeats]

The “oaky afterbirth” line was the perfect way to start off this compilation

[@DaniPaunov]

"Wedding - The fusing of two metals with a hot torch"

[@romilpatel6506]

Metaphorically, he is right.😬

[@propayne5963]

Dani Paunov I like how he trips up twice in one moment

[@cinnamongirl3070]

Gold metals!!

[@niyamitaliya3160]

Gold Medals

[@dougvandyke1385]

Blew over my head my first 2 watches...

[@losingapathy]

"A sort of micro management" "Jim whats the word?" "Microgement"

[@PNB3110]

Celestial BBX boom.

[@jojo243]

I thought he said MicroJiment

[@JamcnPrince]

Hilarious!!

[@rckblykitn]

BUTTLICKER! OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!

[@abdullahimran6977]

lmao

[@KDErkisi]

"It wasn't a disgruntled employee, Jan. Everyone here is extremely gruntled."

[@helloworld2409]

That's an actual word

[@cadebuurstra462]

That's a real word

[@aaravnoronha9685]

i think thats a word tho

[@sagnikbhattacharya6814]

i think it's from pg wodehouse.

[@NS-yz7uo]

this one in also missing Karen - "you're being misogynistic" Micheal - "yes, thank you!" Karen - "umm, I mean you're being sexist" Micheal - " No..that's insane, I'm being misogynistic"

[@definitelynotriley]

same thing!! 😂😂

[@MedJayParis]

"Too much change is not a good thing, ask the climate" - M. Scott

[@originalname28]

what episode?

[@dhruvsbeloved]

@@originalname28 S6 episode 15, sabre

[@luciamerendino5580]

Rainn Wilson would be very proud of Michael

[@MedJayParis]

@@luciamerendino5580 Yeah 👍🏻:)

[@rubyrose3055]

GODDAMMIT BARB

[@Ericbryanmr]

"My mind is going a mile an hour." "That fast?" A Jim-style burn courtesy of his soulmate.

[@Aristas-zd5vd]

one of my favorites, she says it so nonchalantly as well lmao

[@shreyasl9870]

Ironically i have to think a sec to understand that..😐

[@willowayoubi5659]

Pam occasionally dishes out brilliant burns and they're always so shocking because she's usually so polite. It's like when the kid who threw stuff at her came in and called her fat because she had just had a baby and she said "how about we wait until next year when you have your kid?" Brilliant character.

[@Ishamv3]

Jim is rubbing off on Pam, LOL. Pam isn't usually like that.

[@andyjc9535]

Delivery’s all wrong, she’s butcherin it

[@philpritchettphan]

I was so caught up in the surprise that he got "complicit" correct that I completely missed him immediately dropping "you were all successories"

[@chiworiwariwap]

"No rest for the sick." That line is genius but the delivery is geniuser. 🤣

[@joycampi7233]

Lololololol!!!

[@DrJ-hx7wv]

Nice

[@stephenpoole6415]

“The prod - the prog-idal - my son returns...” lol

[@gustavovalladares5296]

Michael just giving up on the quote is just phenomenal. And Jim going "wat" just makes it better.

[@sexhaver420]

Progiddle

[@WhoamI-su7pg]

Sort of an oaky afterbirth

[@dawgsfan1196]

What was that?

[@sandmantan]

@@dawgsfan1196 The correct term was aftertaste

[@dawgsfan1196]

@@sandmantan I know. That was what Jim said right after Michael said afterbirth

[@sandmantan]

@@dawgsfan1196 oh shit you're right

[@zamazingobjk9970]

@@dawgsfan1196whats funny is afterbirth means placenta

[@jessicabader5594]

"Nobody would heed, of... Wha-te-heeded, heeded of-" "Hed. Hed." "When no one hedded" "Take hedded of" "No one would take hedded of my instructions." "Heed." "So-you" "Take heed" "I don't see my co-workers" "Take heed of" "Hee-heeding... this right now." 👏👏👏

[@MessiahKnight]

Jessica Bader wait, what.

[@nikkitikki6648]

😂

[@Hannah-zw9ow]

This is the best one.

[@bobbygreensmoke486]

Had me laughing when I saw this episode, he just went in a circle not saying anything

[@superpowers2521]

I still don't know which was correct...

[@thebowlfosho4974]

It's missing this one: Michael: "I hit her on company property, with company property, so, double jeopardy, we're fine." Ryan: "I don't think you understand how jeopardy works." Michael: "Oh, I'm sorry, what is "we're fine"?"

[@joycampi7233]

That one was hilarious!!!

[@jaredschmidt8013]

Just so you know when putting a quote within another quote it is grammatically correct to clarify the inner quote with single quotation marks ‘ ‘ rather than regular quotation marks “ “.

[@nolanyoung160]

@@jaredschmidt8013 English grammar is hard okay

[@mattslupek7988]

@@nolanyoung160 That’s what she said.

[@SineN0mine3]

@@jaredschmidt8013 It's also acceptable to use directional commas and choose either double or single quotes, provided the font you're using has them. Usually if you were going to do this you would seperate the quoted text into a new paragraph and you would only do it for longer quotes. I think using quotes the way the OP did is technically correct (in a serif font) but I agree that it isn't as clear. Imagine a situation where you wanted to quote somebody, who was quoting somebody, who's quote included anothe quote. Would you alternate between single and double quotes? (You can but don't need to) It's not all that common an occurance, but you certainly see it in printed text. Semi colons and colons can also help to seperate quotes within quotes which is useful in sans serif fonts for smaller quotations. Michael's white board for example: ""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky" I'm quite sure that unless you're writing an essay for school that you can quote whichever way you like as long as there are the same number of opening quotation marks as their are closing ones.

[@keshian.bridgewater375]

“Tell him to call me asap as possible”

[@srrlIdl]

I never noticed that one!

[@dank4319]

Jaylen & Keshia I’m 1 thousands like

[@somewhataddicted7685]

I noticed that

[@blaise656]

Smh my head

[@miamyy4]

ATM machine

[@PikachuComments]

"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been.... ever, for any reason whatsoever." -Michael Scott

[@jacobisaacs600]

erkelnomically kerrect

[@HandledToaster2]

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky" -Michael Scott

[@josiee14]

Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going, I just hope I find it along the way

[@katyhearn6517]

@@josiee14 (to)*

[@woodya2842]

Pikachu Comments greatest quote ever spoken😂

[@Sidthesexiest]

"Betrayal isn't just a river in africa" - Micheal Scott

[@Aliceislove79]

"Stanley was attacked by his own heart" 😂😂😭cold as ice 😆"No rest for the sick".....poor Stanley..

[@saylorskidds9538]

I love that he mixes up ‘wedding’ and ‘welding’.

[@IronPal]

And "metals" with "medals"

[@epicsardines6440]

This is gonna sound dumb but I never even thought that he messed that up

[@Flash4ML]

I had to watch that scene twice to realize what he did

[@SaraphL]

Why did you feel a need to explain it?

[@harrycoral1910]

The Simpson made a similar joke, when Homer was a teacher

[@artifice34]

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious"

[@stjames3852]

Bastien P next time i want you to.. estimate me

[@AbdullahAli-ox6qq]

one of my favorite lines ever

[@patchyworky]

that was my senior quote

[@dinotoes2290]

"Well, well, well. hOw ThE tUrN tAbLeS" - Michael Scott

[@xradical89x]

You missed "home is where the hardest" - that one was one of the funniest ever

[@dhruvsbeloved]

he didnt say that one is right actually.

[@Mark-sj3xb]

That’s what she said

[@xradical89x]

@@dhruvsbeloved what?

[@mattslupek7988]

@@Mark-sj3xb You took my line!!

[@RajMcBoss]

The one quote Michael never misquotes: "That's What She Said"

[@UnorthodoxMasterOfGames]

Abhiraj Except for the time he was learning Spanish and Oscar said his office was covered in genitalia and Michael said “That’s what he said” in Spanish hahaha

[@RajMcBoss]

@@UnorthodoxMasterOfGames Facts! :)

[@UnorthodoxMasterOfGames]

@@RajMcBoss I think I'm gonna watch The Office from the start for a 2nd run-through, it's even more funny this time around watching these clips!

[@heyyyitsmia7512]

except for eso es lo que dice el...

[@Jason-kp4vc]

"That's what he said! Right guys, cuz of gay?"

[@zigguratpictures]

Literally one of the best written characters of all time.

[@qualitydsc8299]

And delivereded as well.

[@kp7309]

Nick Gagliano you’re comparing TS, and WW to Michael? Lol you’re reaching to seem smart. Also, you’re not supposed to stand Michael. Thats the point, in reality he would be a shit person but it’s just a show, don’t take it so deep. 🤣

[@kp7309]

Nick Gagliano it’s just a show. Chill out. People adore michael just like others adore murderers like WW and TS but to each his own. Like i said it’s just a show, i really hate how people like you get so invested into made up reality.

[@kp7309]

Nick Gagliano he’s not the greatest to you but you’ll sit and watch a comp of his character. 🤣

[@TheAgentAssassin]

@@Username-2 That's what seashell

[@PhDlaugh]

"I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING" "do you?" "no"

[@trungvu1066]

And erin is literally Michael's daughter when she said "penile softiosis"

[@michapiechowski1810]

Sounds like a Harry Potter spell

[@salladinthegreat]

My favorite is Michael driving with Lady Gaga's "Just dance" and then saying : "It's Britney, bitch!" ^^! Simple yet hilarious..

[@se7enofnein]

salladinthegreat he has a hard time matching artists with their songs. Like when he gave Darryl a list of songs to play for when he was featuring Springsteen tix to auction but most of them was Huey Lewis and the News.

[@aorcler]

salladinthegreat “a tip is that you can pump to the beat of staying alive” “first I was afraid...I was petrified”

[@shr.9119]

I never got it. Can someone explain?

[@ThierryGomez10]

The Wild Child which one ?

[@reginabillotti]

@@shr.9119 he's mixing up "Staying alive" with "I will survive"

[@chadlaw252]

Michael - “The early worm gets the worm.” Jim - “Another worm?”

[@ccpr15]

Chad Law “are they friends?”

[@KartikeyaDutta]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@msola5]

"are they like, friends?"

[@lolagirl1438]

Chad Law 2

[@danielchavez7343]

Early bird gets the worm an I'm the muthafuckin worm

[@Vikanuck]

Bob Vance almost cracking up during Michael’s welding speech haha 😂

[@saladass8254]

"He can heal leopards" LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

[@azc56]

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious” Edit:6.9k *nice*

[@samboykin3152]

is that MF DOOM on your profile pic?

[@addison264]

My favorite quote by Michael Scott 😂

[@azc56]

@Sam Boykin yes

[@nonameselected7250]

Quieres The correct quote would be “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

[@azc56]

No Name Selected great

[@elizabethb7290]

Kept waiting for my favorite “how the turn tables....” lmaaooo

[@hohohope8]

sAMEE. It cracks me up every damn time lmaooo

[@mikeoxlong567]

same here

[@strangerofthe2067]

Yesssss!!!! One of my faves!

[@strangerofthe2067]

8:07

[@KhloeBeal]

DJ Dresen z

[@VeinySausage]

Michaels even funnier when you realize he’s always tried to cheer the office up in his own mind but rarely does😭😂

[@vladignat5724]

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - - Michael Scott”

[@zoealana6842]

they didn’t include my personal favorite- “phyllis, a woman, has uslurped my role as santa”

[@4879daniel]

Also missed out the thirty five hundred line.

[@mattieasems6902]

How about the 100 point of views in the surplus episode

[@imahecc585]

@@mattieasems6902 that wasnt a misquote

[@wonderyearsdouche475]

would you rather die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become Toby

[@sharpssharps7930]

"Several times a day, Michael says words that are WAY beyond my vocabulary." "Oh, i know where this is going!" "Do you?" "No."

[@adooenz9501]

Blisters lmaoo

[@j8rh3ad43]

Cut off your nose to spiderface

[@chewcodes]

"Ok"

[@mynameisjeff1130]

"She's an anorexitic" - We should do something "Nothing can be done. Just have to tell everyone and hope for the best."

[@neverpure20]

"Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike... three" He actually made it sound a tiny bit cool there :D

[@austinburke4334]

“Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant” “I think you mean smug” “Arrogance” 😂

[@laryns]

Austin Burke ...and there's the smudgeness

[@thiccjunior8339]

You forgot the other part smh

[@belugaman6772]

you forgot when he talked again and michaels like "theres our smudgeness"

[@maggiesheil9406]

and there's our smudgeness

[@Spinal5678]

I think you forgot "Our balls are in your court!" 😂

[@belowme8660]

No he didn't

[@akashdeep-yx6lt]

Yes I remember this 🤣🤣

[@jfrogg]

It’s in the video

[@bobbydave8046]

And "If we were in a bar, there would be 2 punches. Me punching you and you hitting the floor."

[@woah5333]

I love that Pam is just cool with explaining what "run amok" means and repeating it in the easier phrasing on Michael's request

[@madelynabeyta7205]

That is only the first part, it doesn't have the part when he tries to use the phrase later!

[@PhDlaugh]

"I am downloading some n3p music" Jim:"that's not it"

[@sabrinascribble2648]

So close all he needed to do was change that N to an M then you can download some music

[@justaleafinthewind8858]

“He heals leopards...”

[@belowme8660]

No

[@Torfindra]

😂😂😂😂

[@wyattcrosby9558]

I mean It’s not like he can’t

[@deltagamer1276]

He has the piwer of flight

[@patbenson327]

Holy schnikes I just got that after reading it! Lol!

[@samuelstensgaard4828]

"Oh the turntables."

[@DiamondCavern]

how the tables have turned*

[@samuelstensgaard4828]

Karen Filipelli You'd know all about getting the tables turned on you amiright Karen? Sorry.

[@meastonjohnston2854]

Karen Filipelli you're not the real Karen. I'm 99% sure.

[@duaoakaoa9274]

That is my favorite one

[@victoriam656]

The MEJ nope she is definitely the real Karen.

[@alexcrawford5350]

“Well, well, well, how the turntables...” (can’t think of the quote, decides to give up on the quote altogether)

[@bigcountrymower4263]

I love how the actor who plays Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration) has to stifle a laugh at wedding/welding.

[@xaviercortinaz8008]

"My mind is going a mile an hour" "That fast, huh?" Lol I love when Pam plays along.

[@jaimereynolds258]

Xavier Cortinaz Yes lol

[@peytongomer2305]

Wait is it meant to be ‘a thousand miles an hour’?

[@chefxhyrule242]

Peyton Gomer that’s the joke

[@peytongomer2305]

Ty Uzumaki yeah I just didn’t know if that was what the joke was

[@madelynabeyta7205]

@@peytongomer2305 He probably means a mile a minute

[@re-enlisttoday7816]

_"R-E-S-P-SPEE-T."_ *"FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME."*

[@rysoucie2]

Michael - "My mind is going a mile an hour" Pam - "That fast?“

[@michapiechowski1810]

Yus!

[@JorgeGeorgeD]

This is destroying my self taught English, but it's a price I'm willing to play.

[@joycampi7233]

I saw whatcha did there!!!! Lololololol

[@aaravnoronha9685]

lmao i say what you did there

[@skylilly1]

"They're trying to make me the escape goat" LOL

[@Editorknowsbest]

skylilly1 I actually heard someone say this once irl.

[@marko.1245]

Me too!

[@murmurrrr]

Scape goat comes from Escape goat

[@caiofreire2854]

I don't get it...why's that saying wrong? English is not my native language, sorry

[@gabycastelblanco2409]

@@caiofreire2854 You're supposed to say "Scapegoat", which is a person blamed for the wrongdoings or mistakes of others. In that scene, Michael says "Escape Goat" which would basically be a goat 🐐 that you will use to escape from somewhere.

[@ramenriott]

"I went to the park to feed the pigeons. Apparently they all moved west for the winter."

[@Canukles]

Sochi Kai Pigeons aren't even migratory in the first place.

[@19SantaMariaValley13]

They Missed The One Where He Says "We Are Migrating Like a Heard or Flock of Turtles"

[@ramenriott]

Where was this?

[@19SantaMariaValley13]

Sochi Kai During The Episode Where David Sends Michael to Train The Other Branches, So He Can Teach The Other Branches How His Own Branch is Very Successful, He Says It in A Scene Where He and Pam Leave Their Hotel Rooms

[@TerrellMatthews]

My favorite is when he says “You were complicit” and then looks at Jim for validation and Jim just shakes his head and walks off 😂

[@sarcardinal]

it took me way too long to realize that “cut off your nose to spider-face” was michael trying to say “cut off her nose to spite her face”

[@edabakb]

The oaky afterbirth scene is why I never go to wine tastings.

[@choloz4455]

Eda Akb what did he mean by that?

[@addie3118]

Marko Gonzalez he meant the wine had an oaky aftertaste 😂😂

[@RyanAck]

Marko Gonzalez and afterbirth is something very disturbing when you talk about taste lmao.

[@TenaciousJoe24]

So like after an oak tree giving birth?

[@RyanAck]

Jasdeep Bindra afterbirth is what is leftover in a women’s uterus after giving birth....aka the placenta. Like I said. It’s very disturbing when it’s being talked about taste....

[@emilybarrera5259]

“You know, Pam, in Spain, they usually don’t start eating until midnight.” “When in Rome.”

[@crissanchez9043]

Emily Rose you look like that icarly girl... or is it me??

[@ajrm620]

@@crissanchez9043 That's because the picture is the iCarly girl.

[@kamaunosakhere5487]

Michael Scott: *gets complicit right* Also Michael Scott: *calls them successories*

[@TheKevinEstopinalShowClips]

lol

[@fishvideos-5039]

Pam's face when she says "Michael" is totally a mother trying to not lose her cool with their obnoxious kid 😂😂

[@jonassungaila8080]

Bring some young people into the office, "Youth-enize" this place.

[@luisbolus1917]

😂😂 He’s an idiot, but I love it😂😂

[@Adventuresandaquariums]

One of my favorites is the convo between him an Oscar when he asks Oscar where he heard about the no commission cap Sabre policy. Oscar: "Manual" Michael: "Manuel who?"

[@m.s1273]

*”HO HO CONTRAPTIONS, SHE’S CONTRAPTING”* ~ Michael Scott

[@jumbocatstudios7239]

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott

[@adrianm147]

Fan vid kzbin.info/www/bejne/gV6xd5qhebp1gpI

[@christianpathfinder6864]

Adrian Mendoza fuck you

[@Asinine021]

im the 1k person who liked this

[@christianpathfinder6864]

Asinine I'm the first one to like your comment

[@Asinine021]

oh damn

[@threesidedtriangle1798]

Well well well, how the turntables...

[@dhogs]

Karen Filipelli I think you misquoted

[@blslunita]

ThreeSidedTriangle one of my favorites 🤣🤣🤣

[@Volcanflame]

you didn't get the joke, huh.

[@elansings]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Poopdogg24]

I just realized at 1:50 he KEEPS SINKING IN THE CHAIR

[@jordanrogers2768]

"I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania but it's for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer." Freudian slip, Michael?

[@ahuman9113]

"I will give you a hint. His last name is Christ, he has the power of flight... he can heal leopards"

[@siobhanmullins5678]

“Well well well, how the turn tables...”

[@rainboecloud3544]

Siobhan Mullins yes

[@iamtheliquor888]

Getting two birds stoned at once

[@fortunekarma1391]

Should have been, "how the turns have tabled." But it's ok, still enjoyable.

[@leewithglee]

@@fortunekarma1391 But it's perfect because the awkwardness is just priceless 😂

[@xXMatt55Xx]

"No Dwight, Respect! R-E-S-P-SVE-D. Find out what that means to me!"

[@jasonjasniewski5925]

“Ticking time bags.” 🤣🤣

[@NoahMichael]

You know what they say. Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice..... strike three

[@NoahMichael]

Hahaha Mean either

[@Teafa]

Still makes more sense than Bush 😂😂 kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3zKgYxnlsmWZqM

[@vigneshdurai3672]

fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice

[@marko.1245]

first thing I thought of...haha

[@joshuabsmith6008]

That's my motto for life

[@TingusPingus445]

“I wouldn’t say this to her face but she’s a wonderful person and a gifted artist” “Why why wouldn’t you say that to her face”

[@jacobibarra097]

@@pastorw.f.kumuyi1240 wtf

[@PaddyRoon7]

@@jacobibarra097 Ignore it and it might go away.

[@Ol_Lochy]

@@pastorw.f.kumuyi1240 hail satan

[@TingusPingus445]

@krvnjrcbs it is relevant because they could’ve put it in because he used the saying wrong

[@TingusPingus445]

@krvnjrcbs “I wouldn’t say this to their face” is a saying dipshit

[@xZippy]

"No rest for the sick." Michael's brain is a paradox within another paradox...

[@iidaneoii4978]

“My mind is going a mile an hour” “That fast”- Pam

[@andrewford3093]

“ASAP as possible.”

[@nicksidiropoulos802]

My favorite is : "Betrayal isn't only a river in Egypt"

[@blueq4324]

"You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!" - a wise man

[@stjames3852]

we had a funeral for a bird

[@grottphd9090]

Karen Filipelli "I'm pretty sure none of that's real." Get it right!

[@anuragnegi4055]

Jan : Michael I underestimated you Michael : Well, maybe next time you will estimate me⚡️

[@kingof85]

Lol

[@danielczako4910]

"His kappa was detated from his head" lol

[@truthhurts3524]

Have watched The Office countless times, and I just noticed Michaels certificate of authenticity for his Seyko timepiece. 😂

[@JayVicky007]

"Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three" is actually a badass quote.

[@polds777]

“I know where this is going!” “Do you?” “No”

[@yvajoy1769]

Peter olds sums up school in 3 lines

[@mintikkuma]

“cause you don’t call them collared people. that’s offensive.” LMAO

[@acenull0]

☻Here's My Opinion☻ yo I collapsed I forgot he said that 😂😭😭

[@darthraver]

"That's appropriate, lot of fire where you're going." 😂😂😂

[@prodbytarantino]

The “contraptions” will forever send me 😭

[@MJ-tz1je]

*I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY*

[@TenaciousJoe24]

MJ 899 i don't think it works like that

[@debjoy12]

hey, uh, I just wanted to let you know that just saying the word bankruptcy doesn't actually do anything.

[@samuelstensgaard4828]

debjoy12 I didn't say it, I declared it.

[@debjoy12]

@Vader Minion still that's...nothing.

[@-The-Cake-Is-A-Lie-]

I freaking love The Office fans. Lol

[@twlandes]

Michael: (Walks in at last minute) What’s so funny? Pam: You had to have been there. Michael: Oh, a geography joke.

[@intel1944]

Not last minute, they woke him up from sleep at 16:50, although it was around 13 or something

[@untilitookanarrow]

0:20 anyone who has had a girl that they've been in love with rest their head on their shoulder for the first time knows that it's literally one of the best feelings in the entire world

[@mattslupek7988]

ABSOFRICKINLUTELY!! Greatest feeling EVER!!

[@AbinChanda]

You forgot to put the one where Michael quotes lines from the Taxi Driver and then says 'Raging Bull. Pacino.'

[@CamrynCarrot]

“I am going to drop a deuce on everybody”

[@moaz6395]

Karen Filipelli show us ur baby!

[@loganduncan5335]

Anyone else read the title as “Michaels best Mosquitos”😂

[@noelledahlstrom7974]

Logan Duncan yes I was so confused

[@justicegandy7517]

No cause im not dyslexic

[@lth9282]

Logan Duncan Yep.

[@fairytailgirl123]

For a second I did

[@D00Rb3LL]

Best mosquitoes sounds like despacito

[@DarkSideOfTheBrightSide]

The dinner party is THE greatest episode known to television; perfection.