Why "Masculine and Feminine Energy" Could Sabotage Relationships | Modern Dating

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Have you ever experienced this before? Please let me know in the comments below! 💜

[@AM-ut7dg]

Thais, I love the fact that you are addressing these issues, especially as a psychology professional. So much of the discussion on these topics comes from a very biased place. We need people with expertise, influence, and platforms, with a real intention to problem solve and improve relationships to address these problems. So thank you!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're very welcome! Thanks for your comment ❤

[@zurirobinson2749]

Thank you *so much* for this, Thais. I'm a fearful-avoidant cishet young (23 years old) woman, and since I was little I've been a "fiery" girl with so-called masculine energy (despite having/preferring a very feminine aesthetic). I had a similar situation as the female client you described- a disabled sibling, ill mother, and overworked father. I've always felt the need to control and manage everything because I couldn't consistently rely on others, which manifests as being bothered when something isn't done "my way" and even as guilt when others *do* take care of me. After being an overachiever throughout my school years, I'm now a student at a prestigious university. Although, and perhaps because, my mom was a stay-at-home mom (even with a Master's degree), the idea of being in that position frightens the hell out of me- not only do I fear ending up trapped with a bad husband, if he was a *good* husband I would actually feel guilty for "not earning it". Despite my "fiestiness", I also have a high amount of feminine energy- compassionate, people-oriented, creative, expressive, nurturing. I do really want to have children of my own, but I worry that I won't be able to have both a thriving family and a successful career. On relationship dynamics, I learned that DA attachment is 'how men are' because my dad is definitely either a DA or avoidant-leaning FA (he's gotten better at being an available parent since my mom got sick and definitely since her death, but he definitely had avoidant tendencies throughout his youth and through my early childhood years). I've only had one romantic relationship (when I was a teenager), and he was AP and honestly kind of annoying- while this was before the whole "masculine/feminine energy" thing on social media really blew up, I remember that kind of thing playing into our dynamic and eventually causing him to resent me (e.g. I remember one time he was holding my arm as we walked, and he said, "shouldn't you be holding me?") Most of my infatuations that never went anywhere have been with DAs- something about the cool confidence (and often clever humor) of DAs sucks me in, and even my conscious mind can recognize it as "feeling like home" (so there's paradoxically a twisted form of intimacy, especially in those rare moments when the DA shows vulnerability). As in your example with the couple, when dealing with DAs it becomes a rapid race to the bottom as we try to out-avoidant each other. Especially since I've entered my 20s (I'd just turned 20 when I was diagnosed with CPTSD), I've learned to imitate men (or what I think men are) in order to avoid being hurt by them- therefore, I've also learned to see vulnerability as a childish/adolescent thing. I've been in a weird spot with my feelings for a DA that's slightly younger than me (21), and I *hate* feeling like a "little girl" for being emotionally affected by him (because in my screwed up head, those additional few years of living mean that I should be the invulnerable "adult", and I believe that his apparent attraction to me in the beginning was *because* he saw me as a sexy, fiery, independent older girl who wouldn't be "needy"). In most of these cases, the DA was drawn to my seeming savvy at first and then backed away once they realized I was actually extremely fragile and didn't want to break me- my dad admitted to me that he did this to a female friend in his youth, and it's now happened to me twice (at ages 17 and 19, my "heartbreaks") and seems like it may be happening a third time now with this one, whom I'm terrified to let know that I even have feelings for him because I don't want the humiliation of being vulnerable. I do want to be able to feel safe in my feminine energy, but it feels almost impossible as feminine energy is inherently vulnerable. Being *physically* vulnerable as a woman is scary enough. I dread being emotionally dependent on someone who doesn't have the same level of investment in me, because then he has all the power and I have none. When I hear "feminine/masculine polarity", that's what I hear: the masculine is independent, while the feminine is a mere accessory to the masculine, and therefore would fall apart without him. Which sounds like a terrifying disregard for self-preservation, because why the hell would I ever want to give someone that amount of power over me? And the idea of mixing that power imbalance up with a sexual relationship is, IMO, really messed up in an almost "questionable consent" way.

[@eloisemarie5219]

Wow. So well expressed. Exactly my feeling.

[@jg8479]

We all have masculine and feminine energy and traits. The key is knowing when you need to be in your masculine and when to step into your feminine.

[@jo4731]

One of the best videos you've ever done Thais. I spent years doing stupid online courses to help me with romantic relationships. I was just so lost. When I look back at some of my behaviour (that the courses were telling me to do) I'm just so embarrassed. Thank god I found this channel and joined PDS. I'm finally in a healthy loving relationship. Nearly 5 years now. It's not perfect but I'm really happy, and I've got the tools to navigate anything that comes up. I'm going to send this video to my dating friends....

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad you liked this one so much ❤

[@cangrejitamiry]

I love being in my feminine with a masculine man. I don’t feel fulfilled with a feminine man.

[@thehapagirl92]

I agree

[@Darima2]

Same. The fact of the matter is many MEN, more than ever before(under 42 I've noticed) ARE lacking that confident, secure, masculine, energy, which then attracts insecure women that tolerate it and end up paying for it because when men are insecure, they project it onto women and children that are even more insecure or vulnerable. Have you ever seen how these men act around masculine men? Like meek little puppies. If women seem more in their masculine energy, it's because they've had no choice, many are with boy men hence why so many wives get frustrated like he's another child she has to raise. I am independent, tough for a girl , and not a people pleaser like most women, yet my natural self loves femininity, it's just I can only relax into that with masculine men who in turn like that because its an energy they don't have a lot of. It can be a positive feedback and synergy that feels Soo right and natural. Or a negative one in the way Thais described when one is off kilter from what they naturally are . Macho men who overexaggerate that energy to the point of being aggressive or abusive and lacking empathy or sensitivity is an example.

[@Heyu7her3]

​​@@Darima2so feminine =/= confident or secure? that's deprecating. being a secure person has nothing to do with gender. it's about human decency/ virtue.

[@mesCheerios]

ok but i hope you all watched this video because it really hits the nail on the head

[@careitina1412]

I(F) have a limiting belief - setting boundaries makes a woman unattractive,as if she isn't concerned about keeping the harmony,but introduces a ,,fight" energy between you two) so dysfunctional!

[@gatorssbm]

It sucks there are people who perpetuate these things, I still recall finding advice on attracting people once I got left behind suddenly to be distant and avoid vulnerability with a lot of positive feedback but despite how lonely I felt at the time I at least recognized I didnt want to resort to these things because being transparent with someone and them doing it back was a key need of mine. Thankfully over a week later I found this channel and found out it was all because of past wounds and my hesitance of opening up that prevented things from developing a lot better, Im really happy that in the end I got to enjoy being by myself in the time of no contact and wanting to stay with my partner because I believed they could change too and all of it has helped out on both our ends tremendously. Was very life changing finding out so much of my root causes finding this channel and also having such a supportive partner despite the huge misunderstanding last year. Its extremely relieving there doesnt need to be a need to play games in relationships and be direct with the other person as long as you both encourage each other to open up.

[@LenkaSingh-gl2be]

I love the idea of integrating both energies within a person and balancing out. It makes so much sense and feels great to know that when one finds some imbalance in themselves not to think of them as being wrong but rather to try to integrate the other polarity to become whole. That was another eye opener for me. Thank you so much ❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're welcome! Glad you liked this one ❤

[@sthiirta]

There always always have to be a balance between feminine and masculine. When people say women are feminine and men are masculine, they don’t mean to say that women can’t have masculine energy and men can’t have feminine energy. They are saying women have more of feminine and men have more of masculine energy. And in today’s time these energies are wounded in people rather than balanced. So what people need to learn is the balance of feminine and masculine within themselves so they become complete within themselves rather than waiting for someone to complete them.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@MsGuitars666]

Thais, queen I hope this comment reaches you. You are changing lives, you are making a huge impact on the world. This is so incredibly powerful. Thank you so much for this ☀️

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for such a thoughtful comment! I apprecaite it ❤❤

[@lulusworld2703]

Thais, this is probably one of my favourite videos.I have never been too invested in the whole masculine and feminine energy when it comes to dating , but ONLY when it comes to shadow work. Because by fostering an energy in dating be it more masculine or feminine you are in fact not an integrated person but rather showing up as inauthentic and being a people pleaser to get needs met. I am looking for someone who can move between the masculine and feminine because that shows me that healing has happened and that they feel centred in being who they are. For me as a woman it's a safety thing. It is a shame that men don't get that. In fact when I see men that get too sexual too soon and start talking about looks too much I immediately think here is a man caught in a 15 year old mind. Not for me... as I am not interested in mummying an adult man child or a teenager. Still much healing ahead for me as I am still at the boundary setting stage doing shadow work to integrate parts of myself I disowned. It's been interesting. I do feel there is a man out there that is looks for a woman that is feisty and independent with a very soft centre.. I just need to find him!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

thank you for sharing and so glad you liked this video! ❤

[@azuresea8086]

One of your best vids ever! It's about AUTHENTICITY. No matter what the trait is, feminine or masculine, strong or soft... if it's a coping device rooted i Fear then it will carry that negative energy. It it's a core trait then - even if it seems strong or soft it will carry a positive energy and therefore attract the opposite trait in a healthy dynamic. Heal your core wounds and then be authentic.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thanks for your thoughtful comment :) ❤

[@Locut0s]

Thank you for this video Thais. I feel it’s very timely for myself as I’ve been thinking along these lines about myself of late. I recognize myself as a cis gender straight man leaning FA who’s traditionally been pretty heavily feminine leaning. I’ve noticed that I tend to be attracted to women who present with quite a bit more masculine energy than myself. It’s very helpful to note what you said about healing our relationship with ourselves in terms of our own relationship towards our feminine and masculine sides. I can see very much for myself that I’ve had a disconnected shame filled view of my own masculine side and I’ve long been unsure of how to properly integrate that side of myself. I think this is a useful place for me to do future work in.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤❤

[@cedarskylove4255]

I love this topic. For years I have recognized the feminine and masculine within me and I know do much better when they feel balanced. Outwardly I identify as feminine (I am a cis woman) but internally I am nonbinary. In a romantic partner I am attracted to people who are able to identify with both their masculine and feminine (I am bisexual) and I am definitely not attracted to men that only connect to their masculine and females that only connect with their feminine.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@GoFbassist]

When you said that each person will lead when they're in their favored environment, I feel my body relax, as it had just been given permission to step out of the thought life that he should always lead. This video has been GOLD for me, thank you Thais xx

[@sally5256]

My girlfriend and I have discussed this exact topic!! Debated. And I’ve dated two DAs and it has backfired at times if I have asked for “help” in certain situations.

[@waynesmith4861]

Thank you for sharing. Good to know there’s other men with an anxious attachment style and it can be healed.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@hangloosejanjuc]

you have no idea how important this topic is for me. i am a 39 year old man and have had an incredible sturggle my entire life constantly portraying myself as the epitome of masculine strength , when in reality i have multiple other aspects inside me, and weaknesses that i have never let see the light of day due to fear. causing me to become very confused its only because ive had somewhat of a mid life crisis that i am even on this channel searching for answers on what being a man is and what a good relationship should look like. i followed a male youtube dating "expert" who is constantly pushing you to become hyper masculine "alpha" male and that you to read his book 15 times, so that you can permanently change, or else you will forever be weak and undesired. his techniques work, but something was always telling me that its only an act. just like the act ive put on my entire life, to my own peril. Thanks for this great video.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're welcome! Thank you for sharing ❤

[@jo4731]

Did the same. Stupid online courses telling me to let men be men or I'd emasculate them. Telling me not to pay, not talk too much, one of the books even told me to wear short skirts and flick my hair around. Apparently men love it.... 🤣🤣🤣

[@hangloosejanjuc]

@@jo4731 hahaha it's pretty fucked up isn't it. I find it amusing that we are told to become ultra stereotypes or else you'll fail. Where are you at with things now?

[@jo4731]

@@hangloosejanjuc I'm finally in a really good relationship - coming up for 5 years. Wouldn't be where I am without PDS. I'm FA my partner is DA. It's not perfect but it's full of love and laughter. I can't believe I bought into all that bullshit gendered dating advice. One of my poor ex boyfriends had to endure me getting upset when he said he was going to buy me a car stereo. I thought this wasn't a 'romantic' present. I mean, WTF. No wonder he left me. 😵‍💫 Anyway, I'm still bonkers in some ways but generally very happy and stable, and continuing to work on myself.

[@jo4731]

@@hangloosejanjuc If you haven't joined PDS yet they do a free week. If you only did the Emotional Mastery and Reprogramming Course it will change your life forever. I've actually only done that course. And I love the webinars which I watch most weeks. But even with the shifts I've made from doing that one course my life has transformed. And now I don't take anything personally ever, I just know that people have their drivers and their wounds and they're doing their best. And it's just so liberating living authentically. I think those crappy online courses selling hyper masculinity or femininity should come with a health warning!

[@cigall]

Regarding the (first) example of the couple: an important part of masculine energy is serving as safe containment for the feminine, including (and especially) emotionally -- making the feminine feel safe and secure. So the man in this example was in fact in his masculine energy when he was being more emotionally expressive because that was allowing his partner to feel safe and open up, and that benefited the relationship. When he stopped doing that, he in fact withdrew that protective masculine energy from her, which, not surprisingly, harmed the relationship.

[@laceyloops]

Makes a lot of sense... The last couple of months I've been shying away from showing some aspects of myself because I thought they were too masculine. Until earlier today... And then I see this...😅 GOOD video ma'am

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Yay! Glad you liked this one! ❤

[@malindarayallen]

You deserve to show up with your whole self! 😊

[@nehapancholy8654]

Thank you so much for this video Thais. I'm a healthcare provider & recently explored a coach's feminine energy content that I found super stigmatizing and actually abelist/harmful to neurodivergence, which is an adverse effect I don't think is addressed overtly enough as a potential toxicity. I've been a PDS lifetime member since 2020 & never felt attacked/flooded/harmed for any of my neurodivergent parts the way that two different feminine energy coaches I'd come across unfortunately have been. Your work transformed my life, and the lessons I've learned through PDS have given me access to a freedom and way of relating to humans in all domains in such a joyful, rewarding way, no matter what hardships come my way. The approach with polarity coaches seems to just stigmatize people for their wounds or uniqueness to just try to "punish" them out of being the way they are if its outside the polarity attraction model. There does not seem to be a standard for speaking to clients with a basic level of compassion in interactions; yet if anyone criticizes them that person is a "masculine woman" or a "feminine man." Pursuing secure relationship with intrapersonal personality integration as opposed to "masculine men" is definitely a wiser north star.

[@mandymakhumalo4568]

Hey Thias! Fearful avoidant here. It’s been officially a year watching your videos. Thank you so much. I’m still working on myself but these have helped me significantly.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Wonderful to hear it! Good luck in your healing and if you are wanting extra help consider joining the school! ❤

[@alainpatry]

Hi Thais, just letting you know there's a typo on your thumbnail!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you!

[@JenBob9884]

Yes, OMG. I've been saying this for a while now: It is about bringing "masculine" and "feminine" or just those different energies in balance within oneself!!!! Thank you so much for this! This is awesome. Make Thais president

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

LOL, thank you! ❤

[@ZhengSW]

Near the end when Thais mentions the traits that attract us in the beginning become what we resent got me very emotional.

[@samanthabronson59]

Yep! I was following this and I was like a hot anxious mess because I was trying to follow all of these rules and it meant that I was just repeating unhealthy patterns around perfection and self-abandoning a whole lot.

[@cornwallismorgan874]

I think what's hard is that this entire construct of faking who you are to be attractive is taught to us in a lot of different ways and is extremely limiting for everyone involved. Gender aside, we get boxed into what the other person thinks we should be and we don't have the room to be who we are. I think this is the source of most of our disappointment in terms of dating.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for sharing :)

[@ROCKTHEWORLD23able]

Can you please make more videos on the Red Pill Theory and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)? Thanks!! I think it would be very interesting

[@ChrisBanda]

A well articulated and much needed message especially in today's dating landscape with all sorts of dating gurus and "experts" putting out a dizzying array of messages about "being in your masculine or feminine", or following a prescribed set of behaviours to "build attraction" . As always we can count on Thais to bring a breath of fresh air and some clarity to a topic. Thank you.

[@sherikadukes2468]

"The Bond" that you are encouraging in this video between the two energies is 🔥🔥🔥... staying true to your name😏🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️ im here for it....❤🫵🏾

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@Michelle-qq4sd]

The book “The Rules” really messed me up. I stopped talking to men and expressing myself to them after reading it. It was strange.

[@jessicamorales2555]

This video is pure gold

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@laskaaksala1712]

Never comment, greetings to the algorhythm, love you using your platform to critisise these harmful and reductive Views

[@drekathigpen4869]

This is why I believe relationship advice should always be taken with a grain of salt unless it’s a counselor who’s working with both partners. Humans and their partnerships are all unique with different kinds of balances of traits and energy that work for that couple. Applying what works for one couple to your relationship might not always work out. Accepting who you are while also staying open to improvement on your wounds will allow you to be free and attract someone that works well for your makeup.

[@lke4907]

Ohhh such a good video!!🎉🎉🎉

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@MegaLenny1000]

Very nice balanced Perspective on the Topic! Thank you

[@lifehugforlife]

You are so articulate and I love how you are expressing these ideas. Thank you.

[@coreygeiger81]

“Lean into your truth” yes ma’am

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@Regina.Clarke]

So glad you covered this!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad you're glad! ❤

[@roshalllambert]

I agree 100% with this video, I am so happy you are raising awareness about this and I love the client examples you share!

[@jbanks7561]

This is a serious topic in today's society. Thanks for acknowledging/addressing it... in my opinion for example TV shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians (not blaming them) but has influenced today's "young women" to be strong and independent, and that "women dont need a man" or "men are trash" VICE-VERSA men are complaining that "women are trash" because both "unhealed" are equally emotionally unavailable and everyone is just confused😂 at the end of the day, both genders do need to do personal development work, i agree. Thanks for the upload.

[@purplewitchtarotanddivinat5680]

Why is being strong and independent as a young woman wrong? It seems like *you* personally don’t like the idea of strong women, so you’re trying to paint it as some widespread societal issue. I don’t think that it is one.

[@jbanks7561]

@purplewitchtarotanddivinat5680 nothing with that, and I am confident that i am securely attached, Thanks to this channel!!!😊 My apologies if my opinion comes off the way you interpreted it💛 i am all for women being strong and independent, i have zero issues with that idea.

[@Heyu7her3]

One is a reaction to systemic oppression. The other is an emotional response to their feelings getting hurt...

[@angelabutron5054]

I love this, as a more masculine woman drawn to feminine partners 🙂

[@kittydeleo4043]

It dismays me that this very important lesson still needs to be taught in 2023, but thank you Thais for doing the important work of addressing it. The idea that 'masculine = male only' and 'feminine = female only' remains one of the most destructive ideas from our patriarchal past and locks people into living an artificially small existence rather than embracing the full richness of the human experience. A healthy human has both so-called masculine and feminine traits. It would be so much better if we could dump the gendered labels and just think of them in terms of active/aggressive/motivated/outward-focused and reflective/compassionate/surrendering/inward-focused. Magic happens when we have the courage, confidence and self-knowledge to be true to ourselves and each other. Thank you Thais - a great video and an important message!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

So happy you liked the video and thanks for taking the time to comment ❤

[@tucky3191]

Love this 💯thank you Thais

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're welcome! ❤

[@rosiewickie7816]

Hi Thais, I found this so relevant and skilfully spoken about, thank you. I always find your channel helpful and illuminating. I am a quasi FA/DA in relationship with AP/DA and we’re both getting more secure thanks to this wonderful education and online support ❤️ I hope it’s ok to to feedback also- if you make another vid on gender and polarities, and please do because you’re brilliant at it- please also include lesbian and gay relationships in your wordings somewhere. It is true that statistically more women are in feminine mindset and men in in masculine mindset in the ways you said so articulately, but these days gender is becoming ever more diverse and those who are resistant to the socially constructed representations of gender - and I’m thinking of my own experience particularly of gender nonconforming/gender fluid/‘non-binary’ lesbians would struggle to connect with the heterosexual baseline in regards to romantic relationships. I acknowledge there are inflammatory politics around gender identity and sex- and am in no way am suggesting that you change anything to accommodate the conflict there. Nevertheless, like you say wholeness is the truly healthy thing in secure attachment, and I think that is true of society as well as our romantic relationships. Thanks again for your awesome daily content ❤️

[@christaferduran3952]

Great video and explanation. Your expertise is invaluable 💯💯💯

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you! ❤

[@SK-no2pp]

Great video 🎉

[@homesweetplanet]

We need to remove the gender labels from energy, because energy has no gender. Calling it "masculine" and "feminine" energy makes it loaded with a lot of preconceived notions that take away from understanding these energise and why that matters. I prefer to call them "projecting" and "receiving" energies. Everyone is capable of both. Some people more naturally lean towards one or the other. Even in same sex relationships, one will typically be in more the projecting and one will be more in the receiving, because that polarity causes attraction. But ultimately, we want a balance of BOTH energies in a healthy way, not the wounded ones, and that requires healing our traumas (which gave rise to our attachment styles). We need both energies, on a personal level, in order to be truly independent and capable of having and maintaining interdependent relationships.

[@rhokesh4391]

Where can I sign this? 👍

[@Heyu7her3]

active/ passive, etc

[@kittydeleo4043]

Agree!

[@kittydeleo4043]

As an afterthought, it is interesting that we often speak of the feminine in terms of 'receiving', yet a large part of that energy to me is actually about giving energetically-speaking: patience, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, surrender, mercy etc. And so much of that requires great courage, fortitude, inner strength, wisdom etc (qualities traditionally associated with the 'masculine'). Sorry - this is just a few thoughts that I had upon further contemplation.

[@johndoan3526]

I could not agree more 👏

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@allanbarreda9895]

At my core, my natural sexual essence is masculine. That doesn't mean I'm some macho, chauvinist pig with no ability to show emotions. I definitely know how to communicate and be vulnerable when I need to. But my natural essence is masculine. And I no longer suppress is. I embrace it. And because of that, I've learned to appreciate the feminine way more than ever. The feminine is unbelievably beautiful. *Masculine/Feminine energy is not gender specific, by the way.

[@malindarayallen]

Thank you for this!!! Such an important topic!!!👍🏾❤️

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're welcome! ❤

[@raymiles3716]

Are there ay courses in PDS that cover masculine and feminine energy? I love this so much!

[@zarinaadi04]

Such an important and interesting topic. From what i have noticed, the most psychologically healthy people (aka secure attachment) have both masculine and feminine energy equally with maybe slightly leaning masculine if its a man and feminine if its a woman and that is the place i aspire to be in. In my opinion, having a lot more energy that corresponds to your gender doesnt give you good results in life. Both genders need both

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for sharing ❤

[@DA_youtub3]

Excellent video!! Thank you!!

[@FrankM]

13:47 "Find somebody who is an actual match for that dynamic. Who has a balance similar to us. Or similar to what we would be looking for from a trait variety perspective." Sadly, this is easier said than done. Especially modern times. A lot of people are scared to simply communicate their needs or even be comfortable with vulnerability.

[@OregonSingles]

Thank you for covering this. I've been interested in this topic but couldn't really grasp it and wondered if and how I was missing it.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You're welcome ❤

[@SoNiels]

This is such a great video, thank you!

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

Such a nice topic & everything you state about it and how you talk about it is so interesting and beautiful. 💜

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@5gx673]

Winner 👍

[@eruidfhjcvbn]

great vid

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@ng-marc]

🎯❤️💪👍🥂🥳 #Bullseye #Bravo This is a perfect description of the journey of male and female integration of masculine and feminine energy. Intergrating both consciousness into your being has incredible benefits. Aka: Level 3 Masculine or Feminine. As for level 2, I love those feisty women working to keep the benefits of the masculine while learning to reintegrate the feminine. Completely respect the journey as i am walking it myself from the opposite polarity. That said, I completely agree with Thais brilliance once again. Thriving requires two healthy strong fully intergrated individuals. Walking the path of personal growth and reintegration clearly leads to healthy interdependent relationships of all forms. I am so incredibly grateful for this channel. #ThankYou #ThankYou #ThankYou

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤❤❤

[@kneecoaldotcom]

How do you forgive yourself for not integrating those traits? I became very resentful for the initial things that I was attracted to. I made many mistakes in my previous relationships 😅

[@johnmaus4408]

Hello Lucia, I find your statement interesting. I am a mature man. I dont disagree with anything you say in concept. This is extremely complex. What I will try to share is likely to be misunderstood and probably not appropriate here. Here goes. Men are driven by testosterone. We do love " or I do" women as beings that deserve respect etc, but testosterone the primal influence that drives a species is ever present. Women have estrogen as you know. Estrogen isnt one hormone, but many. Emotional intelligence aside, a womans mind and body change in fact each week. So many issues Emotional and physical can and do happen to change throughout the month. Men are not affected by these ever changing dynamics. We dont know what we dont know. As you know probably a man can become interested in sex in an instant. Women may be days and or it may take a mix of many integrated things to interest her. I have studied deeply and there is so much conflicting information about what a woman wants it truly is difficult to navigate. Its not a lack of desire or respect. My ex walked after 34 years. Seems pretty severe DA with perhaps covert narcissist. Hard to say since she struggled to say. Love her deeply? Yes! Understand her? No!! Also she struggled to help with that,but not the accusations. So!! Its not easy being a man with a genuine interest in ALL OF A WOMEN but also " all of a woman " I feel I have learned so much from PDS but one of the most important is that a woman's chemistry is far more complex. I feel the answer is continued study to know more of the playing parts. Like you I hope to meet an intelligent woman who is willing to not blame mens ignorance of the deepest part of navigating a relationship with her. Made easier by her involvement in learning and being vulnerable enough to share that deep dark closet needs with me in a manner I can comprehend and work in a mutually supportive roll. Best wishes.

[@jjrodriguez6513]

Hey friend, can you improve the audio quality? Your content is great. It just makes my neurodivergent brain very fatigued while listening. A dereverb and deess plug in on yout audio would go a long way.

[@carrievaleriaalvarez2198]

Kudos on this video and the related recent one on shadow work and gender. As a late-transitioning trans woman I could footnote every word of this 😅 but I'll just throw this in: according to a recent Gallup poll up to 20% of Gen-Z identify as LGBTQ+, and I don't know what that says about the statistical connection between men/women and masculine/feminine "energy". Moreover, normative commands of the form "though shalt not express yourself freely" (as in "boys don't cry", "girls don't get angry") are at best invalidating and at worse emotional abuse, which is very relevant to insecure attachment.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@BoopBettyBloop]

The masculine and feminine dynamic is meant for people that want to stay in their feminine or maculine energy...its a choice and you can't switch it up in the middle of a relationship and expect the energy to stay balanced. If he started out as feminine and she started masculine, he switches his energy and now they're both masculine and that doesn't work

[@Heyu7her3]

🙌🏽 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 I need more balance, not further gendering

[@user-js4mt1nr2y]

I just wonder how it works for Fa's.. I guess I feel more feminine with Da's and I feel more an internal struggle with gender roles with an AP. Especially since I feel dissatisfied with passive man that have difficulty making choices as I feel good in an active role of support. I date now a man that leans AP and he is all about being manly partially cause I expressed some needs there but it feels a bit like he is overcompensating as I tent to think he's very gentle and cute in his thinking, maybe a bit dependent and clingy aswell. In the past it could feel very needy and as feminine energy. I also noticed when I felt a bit anxious and expressed some of my concerns he seemed to not deal well and I kinda have to talk things through for him to take it less personally or as an attack on his intentions or character.. I do myself start to wonder when I behave more distant or analytical cause I just want to take my time to get to know them and not pediatal someone on projection, that I feel more cold, independent and having to tell many of my boundries and be more "secretive" to keep the pace slower. I also wonder at those times if I am too far from my caring feminine nature and he only sees the avoidant side.. And how that could be in a way attractive aswell as further from how we want to feel ourselves. I sometimes struggle with the idea to be persueded I tent to see as a masculine trait I would like to see in dating but than again it can also come across as needy and soft to want my attention and to give loads of fysical touch.. Like even those concepts of what is masucline seems to conflict at times and feels more like a burdon to have associations with that.

[@user-js4mt1nr2y]

Forgot what point I was going to make.. Is as an Fa the polarity attraction not exactly why we might get suddenly very much unattracted to certain traits as we swing the otherside.. So it's never good like the typical connection between anxious and avoidant couples?

[@belzy02belindah28]

Just be yourself FFS !! 😅😅😅

[@andrianovaaj]

There is no such thing as masculine or feminine energy. People should just grow up and stop nurturing their traumas.

[@allanbarreda9895]

I believe it does actually exist. It took me some time to finally accept that at my core, my natural sexual essence is masculine. I used to deny it because I didn't want to come off as a chauvinist. It doesn't mean I'm not balanced. I have definitely learned to embrace the feminine in me when it comes to communication and vulnerability. But I still primarily move in my natural masculine energy. And I Love it because it makes me appreciate the feminine so much more. A woman in her feminine is my Kryptonite and also my greatest strength. *Masculine/Feminine energy isn't gender specific, by the way.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@allanbarreda9895 so what is a "natural sexual masculine essence"? you didn't define it

[@tucky3191]

They do exist. Who hurt you

[@andrianovaaj]

@@tucky3191 😂😂😂

[@andrianovaaj]

​@@allanbarreda9895 ok if we're talking about chosen models of behaviour (not the 'energy' woo-woo stuff) then sure, people behave in all the ways. But tbh your whole message gives me the vibes of the opposite of the 'masculine energy' . It really looks like a desperate attempt to convince yourself and everyone else that you are so masculine by nature.

[@jazmynegrace577]

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[@eggs3015]

I’ve been seeing this topic a lot on social media. This was very insightful!! Thank you so much 🩷

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤