Therapist Explains Deconstructing My Faith

People are making a lot of noise about deconstruction. It isn't a new concept, but it gains new attention every now and again. In light of the amount of religious trauma I see (and the amount of gaslighting that people experience when they speak out about that trauma), I thought I needed to clarify a few things.
In this week's Ask a Therapist video we will explain deconstruction and outline the things that tend to happen in the lives of people when they begin to deconstruct their faith.
#deconstruction #askatherapist #religioustrauma

[@jennifererickson2355]

I really appreciate this video. I've been slowly deconstructing for quite a while. So many hurtful things have been said to me from the church community. Somedays I'm really proud of the person I'm becoming it's been hard work. Other days the loss feels great and I question whether I can even trust my thoughts.

[@KellyRMinter]

GO YOU for working through that journey. It is hard, and unbelievably unfair that it has to be done. I'm proud of you too 🧡🧡🧡

[@mikezielke1110]

Love this. So many people from my old church have basically blacklisted me because I have asked questions. They are very much about not asking, just blindly following. They like to use "believe like a child" as an excuse, when that's not what that means. The Word has been weaponized, and blindly following isn't going to bring people to Jesus.

[@mikezielke1110]

Also, this is Kelly, I'm just watching on my husbands profile lol I didn't realize until after I posted, but you were in his recommendations!

[@KellyRMinter]

I love it! Thanks for watching, luv! ❤️❤️

[@thewendybird2413]

Children ask a lot of questions. I agree. They totally misuse that statement.

[@matter1196]

Well said and articulated. I was particularly struck by the reductive comments by my church and I still lamb today as my children still attend with their mother. “Nothing more than a Xerox copier” how reductive and repugnant is that? You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for everything you are doing. Keep up the good work

[@KellyRMinter]

Ugh I hate that. I am so sorry you still have to deal with it! 💙💙💙

[@maggie1447]

Thank you so much for this. I grew up in a conservative Christian household. I’ve had so many questions I’ve wanted to ask but I was always taught that Christianity could only look a certain way. I felt like I needed to throw away the whole belief. I’m now trying to understand what I believe to be true for myself. I just found your channel and the videos I have watched have been so helpful. I’m definitely going to be watching more :)

[@KellyRMinter]

I'm so glad you found us! Thank you for watching. Keep asking the questions until you get your answers!! 🧡🧡🧡

[@pinkazure808]

Thank you. This video is so validating. Not just Faith-wise but also regarding any belief system that some authority figures are sure that one-size-fits-all.

[@KellyRMinter]

Thank you for watching! 🩵🩵

[@nuttysquirrel8816]

Great video, thanks for sharing.

[@pameladeleone135]

My thoughts exactly.

[@KellyRMinter]

Thank you so much for watching! ❤️❤️

[@rafiqcamper3127]

This helped me so much thank you 💚

[@rafiqcamper3127]

Almost every point you made I’ve been going through and have went through it and it’s only been maybe over a month or two since I’ve publicly deconstructed my faith so thank you

[@KellyRMinter]

I hope you know you are NOT alone in this! I'm glad you are doing the work, but I know it isn't always easy, and can be isolating 💛💛

[@KellyRMinter]

I'm so glad! 💚💚

[@rafiqcamper3127]

@@KellyRMinter thank you I needed to hear that!

[@darkhorse7460]

I love your nails! I'm watching this while trying to let mine dry (oops typing..) a classic red. On another note my dad's girlfriend decide to text me today with a Leviticus quote about homosexuality being a sin, so much to unpack there.. :(

[@KellyRMinter]

THANK YOU! It's one of my favorite colors 💖 I am sorry that your dad's girlfriend felt the need to do that. I will never understand why people think that scripture quotes, especially ones that have been factually shown to be tampered with, will convince someone to NOT be their authentic selves. I'm sorry.

[@ellier2018]

super cool

[@KellyRMinter]

Thank you! 💚💚

[@JAMIEB22649]

So what I am going through has a name.

[@KellyRMinter]

Yes, it absolutely does. Even though it may not feel like it, you are NOT alone in this. 💛💛

[@juanvasquez6535]

If I want to deconstruct can I trust a christian therapist?

[@KellyRMinter]

This is a really, really good question. It is definitely a case by case basis, but there is nothing wrong with asking the prospective therapist if they envision their identity as Christian getting in the way of their ability to support your deconstruction. Sometimes there is a benefit in that they understand religion also, but if they are still in it and haven't deconstructed their own harmful beliefs, it could be problematic. It is also worth noting that I know people who have seen non Christian therapists who haven't done their own deconstruction work and it showed. Your best bet is to ask a LOT of questions when you first meet with a therapist, and see if you can get a good feel for their modality. 💙💙💙

[@juanvasquez6535]

@@KellyRMinter I'll let you know how it goes thanks for the reply on a year old video. you are awesome!.

[@juanvasquez6535]

@@KellyRMinter real good fit so far.

[@KellyRMinter]

I'm so glad!!!