Therapist explains Love Bombing and why it's dangerous

Therapist explains what love bombing is and why it's dangerous.
in this video, I will explain:
What is love bombing?
What is the cycle of abuse?
What are the signs someone is love bombing?
How can you tell the difference between genuine gestures and love bombing?
Are all love bombers narcissistic?
Will all narcissists use love bombing?
How can I make sure I am not being love bombed?
00:00 What is love bombing?
00:33 Understanding the cycle of abuse
01:58 What are the signs of love bombing?
03:31 Why is love bombing dangerous?
05:11 How to know if it's love bombing or genuine
06:23 Are all love bombers narcissistic? and will all narcissists love bomb?
07:44 Tips to help
Connect with me and collaborate
www.michelinemaalouf.com/
Follow me on social media:
/ micheline.maalouf
/ micheline.maalouf
/ sereinmicheline
/ michelinemaalouf.therapy

[@Juliamh2222]

I just broke off a two week long fling because of this and I feel like I’ve been set free. He came on SO quick and intense. And became so possessive after just two dates. Was already asking me about ring sizes, offering to let me use his spare Jeep whenever I wanted, NON STOP texting. When I said I needed to set boundaries and needed space away from him and my phone, he would send rapid fire texts back to back telling me to “stop putting up walls”, and “let yourself be open to love”. I knew it was time to officially tell him we were done when I got home from work yesterday evening and the second I parked my car in the garage, he called me, asking me if I was home from work. I said I was and wanted to go inside to get undressed, make some dinner and relax… and he would NOT let me get off the phone. Not in an aggressive way, but he just kept making excuses to keep me on the phone….until I finally interrupted him and basically said “I’m hanging up the phone, going inside and putting it down for a while til I get situated and you need to deal with that”. I keep going back and forth between thinking I wanted a man to treat me with affection but also realizing it was an unhealthy level. Like stalker level.

[@cammyt9030]

Thank you for sharing this, because I'm 3 weeks into a situation and I'm confused as hell! I don't know what's happening! You've just described everything I'm experiencing. He's constantly telling me he can't wait to get me pregnant this year& that we'll have a happy accident, he's demanding sexy videos when I've just logged on to work at 9am, when I say I'm not comfortable he tells me I'm holding back & shouldn't as my walls should be coming down by now (this was in week 1!!), he's moody if I say I'm going to watch a TV show & will text him after. When I tried to set boundaries he told me "but I'm sure that you're my forever after" to make me do what he wanted. Now I've told him I didn't like something he did it's the silent treatment!! I'm so glad you got out of your situation, it's time to leave mine.

[@soulshine.university]

Wow I’m going trough the exact same. It’s kinda scary how similar they act

[@pallasathena1369]

Yes, I lasted 16 days before I couldn't deal with it anymore and told him that my attraction for him had died. He did not take it well and tried to sell me the tickets to a concert he booked - and then blocked me for a month. He tried to make a return after that, I told him to leave it alone.

[@shondamarigna8690]

Wow! I definitely experienced this. It’s sad because I feel like he’s a good person, who experienced horrible childhood trauma that has his brain and emotions all warped! Definitely love bombed! Early on I asked for the excessive compliments to slow down and he got upset and asked why I have a hard time accepting complements…. Like sir, I definitely do not! It’s just that hearing how “perfect” I am is creepy af! There is no such thing as balance or moderation in the mind of these people. So asking them to minimize, slow down, or stop creates chaos in their own mind and pisses them off. Sadly, I do not believe they can be in healthy relationships. I’m so glad I have the self awareness and knowledge about mental health. After a month, I walked away. No one gets to cross my boundaries or say I’m wrong for having them. It’s true that a huge weight gets lifted after leaving these situations. Trying to always explain why their behavior was uncomfortable was soooo damn exhausting!!!

[@candygirl1990]

​@@cammyt9030 hi Cammy, this has literally just happened to me and I'm one week free from him.. met this guy 3 weeks ago and he told me he loved me second date in, I was confused and it felt too quick. Basically my little girl didn't like him, as he resented her needing my attention. I told him I had too many personal problems to continue with it. I am not seeing him again. You need to get out girl. It's not normal behaviour. I'm happier without him and it's was only with him 3 weeks. ❤❤❤

[@a.thibodeaux4306]

I just broke it off with someone because I felt I was being love bombed. What works for me is listening and not making them feel judged. If you listen close enough, people will tell you exactly who they are ❤

[@dbsw3196]

After one month of dating I was meeting his children and entire family. Month two he took me on a weeks vacation to Mexico. Month three he walked me into a jewelry store for an engagement ring. Month four I relocated to another state and moved in with him... after I moved in with him his mask starting slipping. After he started to see he could not control me, the discard happened. He broke up with me and threw me out of our house (a city where I did not know anyone). Needless to say, I have learned so much from this experience and am continuing to heal through the narcissist abuse. My intuition was telling me things were not right for a long time, please listen to your body!

[@FlyingMonkies325]

After one month meeting his children, good lord i'd have froze it right there at the thought he even has kids lol because it's like "are you throwing me into this after 1 month when i know nothing about kids?"😳yup... that's me gone lol.

[@hilea.m.z4460]

Exactly same thing travel engagement ring everything fast when I challenge him he discarded me don’t worry Karma is here for us ❤to protect us

[@FlyingMonkies325]

@@mavie727 1 month is too soon to meet anyone's kids, more like after 1 year because parents have to be careful and protect their kids against getting too messed up. Gotta take it slow with people and if you see anything out of the ordinary soon after you meet them then bolt At the start it shouldn't be anything serious, not even after 6 months the 1 year mark is the real test, but if they can't even make it a month or 2 without sending off red flags then they aren't right and have some work to do on themselves. Can't give into the infatuation and just remain calm and level headed because we gotta protect ourselves against people who're just too messed up. Don't change your life, your routine, or your normal way of going about your day to day life either carry on with it and let that be what grounds you, because if someone tries to mess all that up and whatever order you've got going then they aren't respectful of you.

[@awkwardreadheadpodcast]

Why did you go and meet his kids?

[@pattykarcher1200]

Oh how many times those intuition feelings are ignored, including myself. You want so badly to believe that it's real, he's different...but surprise, you just got played!🎉 Live & learn & live & learn some more!😂

[@joypressley4821]

In the beginning my boyfriend was doing all these amazing things for 3 months. But after that everything just stopped. He was acting strange and took away intimacy out of nowhere. He was really good at love bombing and use to say "Your going to be my wife" over and over. Glad the relationship is finally over.

[@sammanthatorres718]

I’m in 2 weeks guys . I’m done you saved me 5 years

[@tahmidhasan9475]

Any updates 🙃?

[@andydomingogarcia3402]

i just left a year long relationship, that i should have left 6 months ago. This cycle of abuse describes that relationship perfectly.

[@kpeezy522]

Time reveals all things

[@andeebee6355]

You are so right. I have just exited a 5 year relationship in which I was LOVE BOMBED. I went through all the stages of the narcissistic cycle but was unaware at the time. These people are rodents.

[@nialeilakande]

They become obsessed possessive controlling and will manipulate you gaslight you and drive you mad 😡 😭 run 🏃‍♀️ for your life!!!

[@warriorrose1982]

I am running ...... nooe not today .

[@Littlefighter1911]

I've noticed, that most narcissists, are actually insecure people that need validation from others. So, when you consider yourself insecure and anxious, chances are, others will perceive you as a manipulative narcisist. Both can be true at the same time from my experience. You wouldn't be so susceptible to love bombing, otherwise. The problem is, you might end up, mutually looking for validation in the other, without actually feeling it.

[@Lovevixen]

Not to mention, being considered "manipulative" is serious. I feel like it's way less common to be manipulative than insecure and anxious.

[@rachelcarvell4831]

I just ended a relationship 5 days ago and one of the biggest things was feeling suffocated with love bombing. It was not genuine and it felt forced, how much we "connected" him laughing and holding me randomly. Paying bills and buying expensive things over and over again. And the moment there was an issue or he didn't get what he wanted he would pout and shut down. Full on hurt puppy with mumbling and silent treatment. I found this video after the break up and you are outlining my ex, I hope the right people find your video so notice the red flags I didn't.

[@warriorrose1982]

Thank you . This is what i needed somone i havent even met in peraon 1 week said happy anniversary today 😂😂😂love bombing , tlling about eings nad all i e been having a heasache all week . Si gle 3 years nah . Thank for your comment . ❤❤❤🎉

[@MarlonBrando414]

Just got out of a relationship with someone who did this to me, she aggressively pursued me and wanted to move fast, her being a pretty girl I gave in and quickly fell for her, at first everything was great, then suddenly her behavior shifted, she started being dodgy with me, would go days with no communication and would act like nothing happened when we would speak or meet again. I suspected there were other guys potentially involved but kept giving her the benefit of the doubt. I kept sensing her drift further and further from me but she kept insisting we were fine and she just wanted to slow down. Finally she admitted that in her own words "I wasn't the only player in the game", I felt gutted. Even though we were only together a short while it felt a lot longer, we told each other almost everything about ourselves, had almost everything in common as well, music, movies, etc... She intensely declared things to me early on almost as if she desperately wanted me to believe what she was saying. I won't lie I really miss her, but as I said to her in return "I'm not going to be just another player in the game".

[@ram47863]

Almost everything in common Probably she lied about all, because in order to make you believed that she is your soulmate, she need to have similar things that you like

[@benf1111]

I feel like I could've written this. You're not alone.

[@MarlonBrando414]

Its been 7 months since our last communication, since then I've lost weight, got a better job and found a new girl. I'll be honest I still sometimes think of the other girl and I have snooped on her socials from time to time just out of curiosity and have seen her change her "in a relationship" status 3 times. I'm like good lord she's still up to her same bs, can't help but feel bad for her other "victims".@@benf1111

[@blondiekapowsksi]

It’s funny bc “love bombing” is a fancy phase for not having discernment, no boundaries, being too vulnerable, lack of communication and lack of accountability for not taking the time to truly get to know the person. And what the situation becomes is a cycle of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I was in a Situation she described bc the lack of. And it came down to not knowing what I truly wanted, so I was able to be manipulated into his fantasy of what we should be. I think the first person you need to be honest with is yourself about what you want before you even date, so that you can attract that. And to not rush the early stage bc that’s where the foundation is built and you can catch the red flags. Also listen! Listen! Listen! Ppl tell on themselves and don’t even know it! Ppl want to be in love so bad, I get it, I want it too but we have to guard our hearts with boundaries and discernment. And that’s just what it is.

[@mjw221]

Wow this is absolutely invaluable. So spot on. I wish I was aware of all this before my last relationship. I'd have run a mile early on.

[@marlenigarcia8030]

It’s crazy cause I’ve been dealing with abuse and love bombing for over 6 years. The relationship started when I was 15 so I was a kid. It feels terrible knowing I didn’t catch on when I was younger and let myself go through that. It’s definitely affected me mentally.

[@motowngirl5891]

None of us were educated on this and we should be, women ruin their lives because we are easy prey

[@marylynnelizabeth1631]

Only wish I had this information/awareness 35+ years ago when I was love-bombed for the entire time before we got engaged, then during our engagement, I saw a bunch of red flags which, of course, I ignored prior to our wedding day. And yessss, he was and still is a total and complete narcissist and everything is still always all my fault. Finally gathered the courage I needed to divorce him in 2007, but we're still tied together/having to deal with each other due to our youngest being autistic and we share him 50/50. Trying to co-parent with him all these years has been a nightmare. He met & love-bombed wife #2 a few weeks after our divorce was finalized. They were married after only 6 months together. I wanted to warn her, but she hated me from all the lies he told her about me so I didn't waste my breath. She lasted 4 years total before leaving him & moving back to Florida (and we live in cold Wisconsin...lol). Thank GOD they never had any kids together!!!!!! We had 3 together. I hope your video will help warn others so they won't have to go through the same hurt, turmoil, anguish, disappointment and overall heartache I and others have gone through which STARTED WITH LOVE BOMBING...💔

[@concha257]

Omg yesssss, this is accurate, he told me I love you 3 days in and he was really nice and always told me I love you and called me nice things. I would stay up late with him and he began gaslighting on day 6. He stopped being nice to me and began asking me for money here and there. He took offense to things I would say that I didn't mean to be offensive. He even started mocking me and yell at me. It left me really confused after I broke up with him.

[@carolines6195]

It took me over 20 years to understand this cycle. I agree maintain who you are, and like the comment beneath said they tell you who they are. I am not a needy person so it does not quite have the same affect, It doesn't just happen in romantic relationships.

[@karla5345]

Well said !! I needed to hear this ! 😍

[@philly111]

Thank you for this video, much appreciated!

[@zacharydavis4398]

Thank you for spending the time to create and share this content awareness 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💙

[@angelak8681]

Thank you 🤩definitely subscribed for all. Thank you for helping not only myself but others, first seen your video on a short video... Do this to ease your anxiety.. I started laughing when I did the first look to the right side and I yawned, I promise you I have not been anxious for hours ...was it the exercise or that you took me out of my funk, either way thanks. I am excited to look up some more videos, even if just 1 helped that's good enough, I believe you're a healer and so welcome here.

[@dragonflymagictarot1180]

This was so good because not only did you inform but you also are giving us tools ⚒️ to have a healthy relationship

[@rlynn6658]

Hi I so appreciate this video and as well you are so calm and nice to talk to. I mean, you can't hear me but you're helping me work up my courage to find a therapist

[@janetvanantwerp8899]

Wow! I never thought of it as love banning but I was with a guy and he was doing all kinds of things for me: fixed a fence by digging up like 6 posts and recementing them, put in a ton of new lights that I didn’t even ask for, pawer washed my house and more. Wanted to take me dancing and bought me anything I laid eyes on and said I liked. It was strange to me…the final thing was when I didn’t feel well and was home from work and he showed up announced with chicken soup and sandwiches. I had wanted to just be by myself. I broke it off with him feeling guilty that he did so many things for me but reminded myself I hadn’t asked him to do any of them! So I can’t say he was a narcissist, but maybe. I just felt like I was waiting for something bad to happen and honestly wasn’t super attracted to him anyway. Maybe I dodged a bullet!

[@Mindsetolympics]

Definitely DODGED A BULLET wow he did ALOT!!! He went way over the top

[@alienpyramid]

Good job Karen...

[@BeADad2447]

It's called being a man and doing things for women! Most likely you somehow sent signals to this poor guy and he wanted to so nice things for a friend in need. Men are stupid like this. I hope he finds an attractive nice lady who appreciates a nice man.

[@kc5169]

These same women will complain about not finding a good man.

[@gigilamoore2656]

@@kc5169 But was he a good man though?

[@weireffie29]

Excellent information and Truths

[@staceystrukel1917]

If you put up boundaries with a narcissist they will get back at you. Be prepared to be put down so they can flip the power back to them.

[@felicaphillip1224]

Wow. Just wow. Thank you for this ❤

[@flowerwoman9227]

Such an excellent video ❤

[@amykrumbholz6446]

This includes friends to. Especially neighbors who live close and are constantly trying to love bomb you with gifts. Be careful who you allow in your life and your home. Narcissists are hard to get rid of. ❤️🖤❤️

[@shirleythomas2154]

Just got out of relationship of 3 years I am free never again love bombed I was lost friends etc thank you

[@martaescobar7625]

Church's do it to you too, almost to the point of bullying....don't get me started on the Senior Centers "we need volunteer's" while the employees sit on their butts and you run the art program.....they are everywhere........

[@marylynnelizabeth1631]

I forgot to thank you in my comment so I am now... thank you for this great video! Very helpful!!! 😘

[@RRS78999]

Excellent video! ☺👍

[@ahmedeldimllawi5092]

solid video!

[@feven20]

And I love the way you explained it

[@nyimbonizipendazo]

Thank you for your beautiful message. I have a question, how quick is so quick? How much time is enough?

[@feven20]

Love This information

[@s22centuaryfox]

Love this ❤

[@annabanzon313]

Thank you for this.

[@cameogutierrez3466]

Spot on 🔥

[@SandyCoco1]

wow, thanks for this video

[@angeliquenyantabara5738]

Thank you so much.. true💯😭😭

[@dibrentley7915]

I would say when you meet someone dont take anything from them, have no obligation to them, when they say I love you and its only a month in, say I like you lot, never ever say you love someone unless you really from the bottom of your heart mean it. Have integrity and stay true to your self. When they have a problem that needs fixing mentally say to yourself, its not my problem. If you want to help them, do it because you want to not because you are being manipulated into it. Learn about manipulation, some behaviours are so sneaky you dont really recognise it as manipulation. Finally know how to get out of the relationship without pissing them off. They are so good at reading you they will probably break it off before you do to save themselves ego injury. You will probably be wondering if he is a narc, at the end of the day it doesnt matter if he is or not. Dont think about him, think about you and how you feel around this person. Sometimes you have to tihnk of you first. Also think about things they do - does it benefit them? My guy would buy flowers for me when he went away for work. Weird, why not buy them when he got back from work? Because he wanted to leave a reminder for me so I would think about him when he wasnt there. The flowers wernt for me, they were for him.

[@cameogutierrez3466]

🎯

[@real_chichicherry123]

the last one hits hard

[@mooseyman74]

Jesus I was lucky to get a cup of tea from anyone. The men in these comments are angels

[@jessicagrooms2198]

I went on a date two days ago with a guy and he decided by the end of the date that I should only date him. I told him no and that I want to date multiple people. He got very upset and told me that dating multiple people isn’t healthy. I’d never had someone come on so strong! It was weird and definitely uncomfortable. He seemed like a perfect match for me but the immediate need to try and lock me down after being around me for four hours turned me off!

[@Carrie11177]

I get the same pattern of love bombing. They love that I'm a nerdy Star Wars geek and tens to go all in, making promises and telling me I was the nerd they're been looking for. It is nearly every man I date. I always remind them that I am NOT a character in a show, I am not their Manic Pixie Dream Girl. But, like a well scripted saga, they withdraw and devalue after finding something they don't like about me.

[@FlyingMonkies325]

I find the same thing when i tell guys i like games, tv shows, and movies even to other people too because they have this idea of me sitting at a desk on a computer with some headphones on with a microphone and that i somehow wear colorful anime wigs and cosplay. I like a lot of fantasy shows and movies too which just adds to it but i do not even like anime or comics but apparently that's then too confusing. So the only thing i tell people at first and for a while is i love music and all kinds of music i'm not fussy, if after then they still pry for some other answer about types of music or my favorite i just repeat what i said because my fave is rock music, symphonic metal which is kind of gothic, and edm and then they view me as this goth rock chick even when again i don't like to cosplay or dress like that. If they continue to try and find a way to make assumptions i just stay away cos they're crazy, it's best to not be so forth coming for a while until you're sure someone is in their right mind.

[@SabrinaLink8888]

After reading some of the stories in the comments. I don't feel so bad about mines. I got out within 1 month and 8 days. This guy showered me with gifts and dinner dates for a whole month. He even paid my for my car insurance and new tags. Everytime I went out with him, he would buy me eveything that I wanted, dresses, shoes, purfume and anything else that I need or wanted but by the end of the month I noticed that out of nowhere he would start picking arguments with me. Then once he got me upset he would take me out to eat and buy me more gifts to make up for it. He had a nice house and a good job. He took care of his place and his place was pretty clean. He bought me some hygiene products to keep at his house. Like if I needed to take a shower I could have a body wash to shower with and some deoderant to put on. He said that my house was his house and that I was at home. He didn't have any kids either which was a big plus for me. He Bragged on how good of a man that he was and his friends and his mom said that he was a good man as well. I met his friends and his mom and he wanted me to go to church every sunday with him but I didn't go because I felt like he was moving way too fast which he was. He would wash my car, put oil in it, clean it out, and even bought accessories for my car so that it would smell good and said that he was looking out for my safety. We was spending so much time together. Then things took a drastic turn. He would do the most creapiest things like hang outside his house while leaving his door wide open at 2a.m. in the morning and he would be at the back of the house. I got scared, comfronted him about his behavior and left. I talk to him about how I didn't approve of his behavior and that I didn't feel safe at his house anymore. He apologized and said that that will never happen again. I was done with him but I decided to give him another chance. The love bombing happened again. He started cooking for me. His phone had a lock code on it and it started fading out and he brought it to me to show me how it was going out. I told him let me back up your contacts so that you want lose them. He gave it to me and I went through his phone and found out that he was talking to multiple women. I comfronted him about it and ended things on the spot. Ladies never ignore your intuition. If something in your mind is telling you that something is not right 9 times out of 10 something is not right. I'm glad that I didn't get invested into a relationship with him. He has never been over my house. It's better to be safe then sorry.

[@pajo6923]

Whoa...this has got me creeped out. Its been 2 mos. Shower gel, deoderant, toothbrush...says "my house is your house", told me he was in love with me 3 wks after 1st date. The 2am outback in the dark just like you said!!...omg. Same thing here! Has spent over 20 grand on me and Im so stressed over it I cant function. Tells me Im his "wife" not a girlfriend. I havent ended it yet. Wish me luck!!

[@hayleylackner1454]

@@pajo6923 You may be dating the same man....

[@mooseyman74]

Probably goes outside to think about the woman he really loves

[@cheryljones2009]

I looked up what is "Love Bombing" on KZbin because I just matched with a guy last Tuesday on Bumble... By Thursday, I felt like something seemed strange-- all these texts about all these "wonderful qualities" he can offer me & texts sounding like he was ready to be in a relationship with me-- after just 2 phone conversations on Wednesday & we NEVER even met each other yet?!!! Once I really thought about it later on, I realized he didn't even ask me very many questions about myself, so how can he be so "crazy" about me that fast, right??? I am always excited with a new match, where it might lead, but someone acting like they're ready to be in a relationship so badly is a turn off, the guy comes off as "desperate" which I KNOW isn't a good sign!!!! 😟

[@annaa6259]

Great video. Also watch Love bomb If Narc was Honest- by HG Tudor. People leave if you see red flags- save your soul and brainwashing

[@Analysis_Paralysis]

*This is not the cycle of abuse. The cycle of abuse is idealization, devaluation, discard and a potential hoover.*

[@user-dv7zq1wb5w]

Thanks for sharing

[@weireffie29]

So True....Thanks

[@nialeilakande]

My ex husband loved bomb me second date saying we soulmates let’s marry move in but a house 🏡 we got the house my dream house by the water but it was too much emotionally mentally suffocating so finally after 11 months of meeting him I got the courage to leave which was followed by him stalking me 😮assaulted me at my doorstep so cops 👮‍♀️ 👮‍♂️ 👮‍♂️ arrested him there in my hallway. Today, more than 3 and s half yrs later am healed yet still freaked out 😮I remarried and now I am narc free thank you Lord

[@rsmpride8267]

anxiously attached exactly.

[@taraa9839]

Is the phenomenon of love bombing exclusive to relationships with narcissists? Thank you for answering this question @ 6:37. 🙏🏼

[@BroadwaySamFlowers]

This is how all relationships start off...tell us something new

[@kefentseKdot]

This is so painful by far the worst break up ever was with a love bomber…. The psychological damage that comes from this …

[@iLLustrious85]

Lol I was afraid this was happening with my new gf, because we became highly enamoured with each other within weeks.... But when it came to our first "fight" , she sensed I was off. I was surprised someone picked up on my way so quickly, I admitted what I didn't like, she admitted if it were her she wouldn't like it either. She apologized, I explain that perhaps I wouldn't have been that upset but it reminded me of a past trauma, she further expressed that she understood and that she's basically the same way. I expressed that my usual way of dealing with it would have been to say nothing and maybe being it up "later..." Anyway, LSS, I hadn't been with someone so expressive and committed to being respectful and looking to figure things out in a while

[@MaxHarden]

This new chick a decade younger than me in my social circle went through my kids to get to me and love bombed me really hard but I wasn't aware what that was and thought I need to give it a chance especially with kids so happy around her, but I was not attracted to her and she was pushing me to uncomfortable levels incredibly fast, even talking about babies knowing I wanted no more. I had to go full autistic and tell her I was a psychopath to break it off.

[@BelaMasz123]

Excellent

[@mizzjenyong]

Just went though this -love bombing non stop for 3-4 months wanted to get serious after dealing with all his drama -I wasn’t ready but once I matched the energy the energy shifted / he ghosted me out of nowhere

[@guruphiji]

I went to love bombing to discard. No intermediate state. But it was not a romantic relation, but a friend we went hiking and surfing a lot together That was the strangest feeling. No explanation. It really felt like a death.

[@TNT31414]

Met this person and if they don’t hear from me for a day they keep saying they miss me. Very annoying and I just addressed it. They are a friend. 😑 creepy AF considering my situation.

[@sashacerny8227]

This needs to be taught in schools and colleges.

[@ryanchermaie6145]

Okay i been taking it slow 3 years now on and off but question is on fidelity so if the love bomber and the gaslighter may have another interest so how can one know they're holding out or just improvising during the time w someone else?

[@gailstorm8622]

This can happen in friendships too.

[@sylviacardona9815]

Wow This person I met recently actually used their line with me ‘where have you been all my life?’ I was able to think to myself ‘I have been building an amazing life for myself- why do you ask?’ But lo and behold I fell for it and a few other lines Now I’m trying to figure out how to get out because I am hooked and it is tough when I go no contact and then start missing him… aaagghh

[@ljrockstar69]

Good to learn about this, but it is too late for me cause i knew after the fact. Now moving forward, i can identify a narcissist.

[@agneslaufer9579]

My co worker tried to love bomb me but I already knew what's going on and stayed unbothered . I knew exactly steps he will take. I was strong like a Pilar. His lb never worked .

[@theral056]

I hear your words. I went through the love bomb, drama, reconciliation twice. Its been a month now. I understand it rationally. Yet i can't help myself and get away. What if I'm mistaken and it just happened to look like that? What if things will stay good now? Can't throw that away! Yikes. I can't come to terms with it. I don't want to accept that...

[@nattam6019]

twice in a month is insaneeeee. leave em you can do betterr

[@theral056]

@@nattam6019 I did end up leaving him. I was so dreading the "loss" of leaving him, but those past couple weeks have been blissfully mundane. And pretty much entirely devoid of stress! Hard to get back into my mindset that kept me going through all the madness, sounds ridiculous now, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Things are good now :) And you're totally right!

[@nattam6019]

yes it's actually crazy how one single person can affect your daily life. im happy for you and wish you the best sis @@theral056

[@sylviacardona9815]

Yes That’s me exactly

[@j.d.564]

I'm not sure if I'm being love bombed, he texts and is just sad that I missed his text and I just tell him that I was asleep then he says "oh ok" then moves on... however he does want to get a house and wants me to be with him? Idk cause he's pretty chill when I tell him that I was busy etc.

[@itsveemo489]

I just found out he’s a bad person after 6 weeks. I’m broken be but I’ll heal eventually

[@FlyingMonkies325]

A type of Love Bombing to be aware of is when it involves bullying and stalking from a group of people that i personally keep going through my entire life, and honestly to me it's so much worse than the typical signs of love bombing that i hear from articles and videos. I've only just understood it after the worst experience of this i've ever had thus far and it's awful so be aware of it. Basically they're feigning liking you and their "friendship" with you and really they're mocking you and making fun of you FOR being susceptible to Love Bombing while they're also love bombing you at the same time. It's the most confusing and hurtful experience you could ever go through because it's intended to completely mess with your emotions because they know you want to trust people and trust you can interact with them even just a little bit. Especially if you're a naturally trusting person they know how painful it is for you to not be able to trust people. If you trust them even a little they take interacting with them even just a little bit that the love bombing is working to make you trust them again and then they loop right back to mocking and making fun of you the second you do while making it look like they're being nice to you. But you can tell it's not because they're being condescending and have such a "huh... okay, that's really nice, oh really?" sort of attitude and it's the way they look at you too it's like "where my mug?". And continue with the love bombing by giving you intense attention and validation by paying intense attention to even the smallest things you say or do while feigning to like you or anything you're doing that they're even interested in interacting with you. They will even pretend to be excited and giddy when you are too, all of this done to reinforce the trust they've gained from you again so they can once again crush you. If you pull away though when you now understand this isn't genuine and you see they're bullying you and acting abusive towards you along with a lot of passive aggressive behavior that is when it will then turn into typical signs of love bombing. By getting super horrible and stalking you, trying to gain reactions out of you, making every little thing you do or say out like you're always doing something wrong which is flipped from making you feel good about everything and they like it and you a positive perception, it turns into huge hate. They will then back away and go really quiet when you get too spooked and retreat, so your nervous system will relax and you feel safe again and then start it all up all over again. Which sends your nervous system way up again and they will try to keep you on this rollercoaster in order to really mess you up. So like many cases they can shame you, make you feel guilty and scared for leaving, and gaslight you so that you'd go running back to them even when they were the ones doing all the hurting and they think it's hilarious. In terms of the emotional, mental, and psychological abuse it's so much worse and the typical love bombing doesn't work on me defo not the shaming and guilt tripping part and i'm certainly not scared to leave when i see something isn't right, but this does and the crazy part is you kind of want to trust them again and go back almost feeling compelled to. I think the addictive part is somehow you're kind of addicted to being hurt, you want to be hurt yet again even after you've gained all the insight you can from it. It makes you want to tear your face off because i think just a little bit you're still being gaslit anyway. Is there ever a way to not be effected at all by it anymore? i don't know but i'd like to try lol.

[@esperanza7948]

❤❤❤❤❤ thank you and you are beautiful

[@MayaUniverse]

I JUST EXPERIENCED THIS. He love bombed me, as a Muslim he maybe spent $5,000 on gifts for me for christmas. Got me a camera, laptop, watches, flowers, a tennis racket, clothes, perfumes ect and was calling me his girlfriend after 1 week and said I love you after 2 weeks. He eventually had a mental breakdown and had to be medicated, I think his guilt and narcissism finally got the best of him. I count it as a blessing 🙏

[@msrae78]

3 months of love bombing 🥵…it was AMAZING thought he was the best boyfriend ever! Took me to nice restaurants, planned really thoughtful dates Cooked for me every night Joined the gym with me Offered to take my daughter to school because his sons school was close Stayed over every night. He kept saying this has to work Until I said I wanted to do something without him coming along! Or that I wanted to stay home instead of going out with him ! Then he got very angry, created a narrative of me that was completely untrue said I always complained and I was ungrateful Said I turned everything into a crisis. They he started to show who he really was, an alcoholic ! … Then when I told him my concerns he dumped me said it wouldn’t work !!! I was so confused, it took me a while to realise he was just fake, love bombed me the dopamine ran out !!! My ego was bruised but I’ve finally detached after 2 months of feeling hurt, sad, disappointed My ego was bruised !

[@beverlypezzano-yo1so]

Yes agree

[@Cultofpersonality09129]

People don’t change.

[@ArtemisZeus1]

I’m not sure if this what I been through. But he loved me so much or appeared to be. He checked all the boxes. My friends told me to give him a chance that’s how good he was. He didn’t stop any of the good treatment or anything but he woke up not talking to me but fixed me breakfast and then he broke up with me saying he is not happy with me. I’m very confused

[@ELASPED]

I think I’ve accidentally done the super affection stage to somebody but didn’t realize that that could have been a red flag 💀

[@Ricky_Evans1611]

POV: You're a narc and you know it ✨

[@Gretsch0997]

Hi Mich' I've been love bombing my wife for at least 10 years now. We are going on 30 years married in two weeks. My bombing towards here increases more and more as the years go on. I think I got into a bad habit. Your video explains why she is not reciprocating. Nor should she have too. Thank you for this !! Now I can let both her and myself off the hook. Please advise more to me , on this ....I am curious

[@joehunt4506]

I have a question then. If you are trying to repair your marriage, and you are following authors that have written books, such as the frisbees, Pastor Jimmy Evans, love on the rock, and the love dare challenge. These books all point out areas where marriages fail and give you suggestions on things to do so if you do all of these things that these books by Christian authors have written the person is love bombing?

[@amandam7072]

I am in this relationship right now ....best relationship of my life. Ive been with narcs before so I know patterns but guy Im with does similar love bombing things but he backs it up with actions. However it is still very intense and I cant decipher if he just loves me or setting me up for something negative in future. How do u know if its love bombing vs a nice considerate guy? He has bought me so much and paid for so much in past 3 months that I developed an anxiety over it because I know I cant repay him nor have I bought him anything in return. Just wondering if its love bombing. He still is as nice as the beginning but the lovey words cooled off a bit. That to me is red flag.

[@AdairCty]

I’m an older woman and wonder if I’m being love bombed. I’m a couple of months in a relationship, have years of narcissistic experience with my ex spouse, and am experiencing a lot of excessive compliments, some gifts, flowers, etc. I’m not sure. Nice guy or narc? Time will tell I think, and I’m listening closely to see if I can pick up any clues from his conversations about past relationships (there are many!). I must admit, I’ve never been treated so well, and that is what has me concerned. I pray that I will see any warning signs if this is indeed someone who, knowingly or not, is trying to “get me hooked” for a toxic relationship.

[@mooseyman74]

At least you both feel awkward about being spoiled. Doesn't bother most people, they're entitled

[@movingjohn-]

She left her phone number on a card at my door to (golf). I took her golfing, she cooked me dinner and gave me a key to her condo. Soon, she wanted to control me. She didn't like my hair cut and insisted to go to my barber with me after that. Then, she wanted the key back, which I was fine with and the insults began. She ruined Christmas because I played Pickleball for an hour that morning. She used to apologize when she acted crazy but she stopped apologizing. I let it go on for too long. We're done now.

[@haneymarlin]

This sounds crazy 2 Me. Ok. So I just did everything right here that you have explained. I did it all and said it all because I loved her and I did feel like that. I did say the exact same everything that you are explaining. To a T. Exactly 100%. I didn't want anything from her! I wasn't trying to influence anything except for her to be with me. I just wanted to show her something different than what she had b4. Something that she made me feel. She said nobody did these things for her so i wanted to do them. Nothing different than any normal romantic relationship. Your making me feel crazy. Can I ask you this then? What if I just really loved her? I didn't want to move in or anything like what you are saying, but I did want to spend some time with her. I liked being next to her. She made me happy and she made me feel like I finally found someone who is like me and I really felt like she was my Twin Flame because we were so much alike in every way. I just learned this word over the summer when I looked up someone that is so much alike myself that I am so in love with and she feels just like the way I do. Now you say all this stuff and you're calling it abuse. How is this abuse? Aren't you supposed to do whatever you can and buy flowers and necklaces, cards and candy, and eventually a ring if it works out and lasts, but now you say all this and she did leave me and I couldn't figure out why. I heard someone say love bombing when I talked to them about what happened and why I'm so heartbroken and the lady told me that she was. Love bombing me, but now I see all this and I'm thinking about what if she seen this video and then she thought I was love bombing her. What if a man just really loves the woman and really feels the things and is trying to be honest and do everything right because he doesn't want to lose her because she is really good to him and he is really good to her and they have the best chemistry and an honest with each other bond. At least that's what I thought. So was I being abusive? Was I just a hopeless fool that lost the love of his life because of this love bombing thing is exactly how I felt and reacted. I did want something though. I just wanted to be with her. I was addicted to her touch and making love to her because she just did everything right and we just clicked together in that way and everything else went from there. Am I so wrong? Is that sp wrong? Can you help me?

[@FlyingMonkies325]

The fact you're trying so hard and this relationships sounds like it's going way too fast i'd say either you're too smitten with her or you are love bombing her to get her to stay with you, and if you have only been dating for a very short time then saying you already love her and already thinking about wedding rings isn't normal it's way too fast. The last thing you said about being addicted to her touch too again you have to cool down and think about how long you've actually been dating.

[@warriorrose1982]

I met a gentleman a week ago . Hes already putting a ring and talking about the future. Weve only talked on the phone and the last week ive been having a terrible headache . I dont feel fhe same . I feel something is not right . Like its toom much especially being aingle for so long 3 years . He said haply anniversary today and its too much . I am meeting him saturday and i sont want too anymore . If anyone is reading this advice hood or bad is welcome .

[@stevenkovler5133]

This is the cycle I am trapped in! Even pushed back the divorce! It is also because her physical beauty is what I find perfect. I get so jealous that she will end up with another man… I did pay for some of her mommy makeover !

[@artistic.anjoulie3653]

Can a healthy relationship ever look like love bombing? Or does it mean that whenever you feel like you've met your "soul mate" that relationship is destined to fail? What is the difference between love bombing, and the honeymoon phase?

[@mooseyman74]

I guess it moves too serious too fast and if you're honest with yourself too uncomfortable and over boundaries

[@jamalluzinski8693]

Wait I can't let them know what I am looking for?

[@Jason-ko1tl]

So an example of love bombing is like on the office when Andy was getting Erin the 12 days of Christmas?

[@MrsCRN_esq]

what if a love bomber suddenly becomes a self proclaimed “life coach” and begins to solicit friends as new customers? What if this person has no qualifications in counseling or mental health Their previous 20+ years of work was for a multi level marketing scheme. This is a painful reality for me. The realization that I’ve been manipulated is hurtful.

[@directionfinderformen]

19 yrs of marriage. 1 yr of love bombing, marriage, discarded, divorced for someone else. At least I have my 2 beautiful sons from that person. That's all that matters.

[@fluflammer1]

Holy shit

[@Carolina-fx2mz]

Easy test: put a reasonable boundary in place and see how they react. For example, I asked the love bomber to take an STD test before sex. He said he would, but vanished pretty much the day after saying I was “controlling”. The day of my request he had just treated me like a queen and brought me 100 red roses.

[@Richest_Person_in_the_World]

Not everyone has Crabs like you

[@sboomb]

So if someone fall in love with you early (it can happen right 😂) he/she doesn't have to say a thing until when? Or maybe he/she changed cause you are not behaving right or you are showing your true colors..This stuff can be true but think about love as a schedule or a checklist to meet is preposterous to me

[@Drumwolf62]

What about Hate bombing? Hmmm no video about that! I wonder why?

[@beverlypezzano-yo1so]

I been love bomd keep come back break up one two this time walk way fo anymore. 7 month new supply come back all time

[@curtisedie4280]

The weird thing is she started by giving me the attention. But i did most of the love bombing. And i truly did feel i was falling in love. Then when i accidentally dropped the L-bomb she moved away saying she didnt want a relationship but still wanted to see me. Then she flipped the scripped and i was the one feeling hurt when she wasnt giving me attention. This being said she would on and off have intense chatting sessions with me. All the way up untill she asked me to drive a long distance to pick up her child. After we picked her up she completly went cold. Am i the bad person. Or did she gaslight me to make me feel like i was in the wrong. I felt used and she claimed i was being possesive. I had told her my intentions all along. And many people have told me to stay away and that she was trouble. Holy shit this girl was good!

[@endsleybolen2019]

My love bomber was too timing me with someone who lived much closer to him he is now engaged to her even though he cheated on her with me and lied to her She contacted me I gave her all the information I had I urged her not to marry him she said she was done and she broke off the engagement the next day she sends me a picture of the ring she says that I'm a liar I'm cruel I'm psychotic and crazy and I'm never to bother them again but at least I tried to save her

[@alterego157]

I don't get it... you get someone's affection, attention, and love.... and that's somehow a bad thing that leads straight to abuse?!

[@mooseyman74]

They reel you in, it's all fake

[@mavenmarket4939]

When you meet your narcissist you will come back to this comment and apologize! I promise you! I use to think the narcissist thing was a joke and ppl are over reacting! Boy was I wrong!! 😅

[@alterego157]

@@mavenmarket4939 Anything is possible 🤷‍♂😁

[@ivanaveltmeyer6373]

I’ve heard that love bombing is actually mirroring you at yourself,to the intensity that you fall in love with yourself! Sounds rather narcissistic but that person likes all your likes and dislikes, same opinions on things you have and leave you to think that you truly meet your soulmate.

[@georgesontag2192]

Once your love bombed, be carfull, going slow may not be the answer. I took it slow but 7 years later divorce court gave her everything from the house, land, savings..... to our dog. If your being loved bombed, demand a pre nup if your thinking of marriage.

[@mooseyman74]

Sounds more like law's the problem