Therapist Reacts to Girl Defined (part 2)

[@juls5747]

I don't know how this girl thinks that doing drugs and being anorexic has anything to do with the concept of self-love

[@MickeyAtkins]

Even after watching the whole interview it’s still unclear to me 😂

[@danithefiend6167]

@@MickeyAtkins I agree! You can talk yourself into a lot of toxic, fucked up shit.

[@mysongdocumentation]

She meant when she practiced "self love" it lead to those things

[@lesbiangoddess290]

Imagine the stupidity or the delusion. Cant relate. Anorexia isnt beautiful it's a deadly mental illness addiction isnt beautiful or self love it's also a deadly mental illness which requires therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms.

[@livelovemamabee]

100%

[@saltbae1789]

What I can't get over is how she blames self-love for all the things she did while she wasn't practicing self-love.

[@nebulonicc]

Exactly. Self love is being patient with yourself and allowing yourself to be human and make mistakes, not acting like you're in control of everything and giving in to every unhealthy impulse that happens to cross your mind

[@saskiascott8181]

Yes, does she really think bulimia is an example of self love???

[@noobiedoobers2324]

Yeah its truly frightening to think that what they think is self love is actually what the secular world would consider being a narcissistic egomaniac.

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

No while she was trying to practice self-love she was still practicing self-loathing because her religion tells her that she's worthless. She was trying to make sure that her appearance was still good because her religion is constantly telling her she's worthless filthy rags.

[@dwdp31]

We

[@MichaelaBelle]

i feel like they're confusing self love and self care with being a selfish, self-indulgent narcissist. love a good straw man argument 🙃

[@torianakay1405]

100% 🙃

[@keychain3039]

Im geting real cult vibes from them and its really concerning....

[@RahRahSisBoom13]

I mean, they’re self-involved narcissists, so, naturally they have to project that world view

[@chaotic-goodartistry3903]

yep that sounds likely, can attest as a child who was bullied by a family friend living with us for not bottling my emotions enough to her liking, which would overflow and I'd, say, be an angsty tween complaining about how the harry potter movies didn't live up to my expectations, and then I'd realize I'd overflown and apologize profusely and tell her that I try to keep my emotions in check but it's hard to when I bottle it all in, and then she'd go on a rant including her favorite line: "Why don't you care about others for a change?" because apparently she wanted to make her emotional wellbeing my responsibility (I have since realized that they just had a shitty coping-mechanism to stress: blaming the most vulnerable around them) So during the three years this terrible grown-ass adult was staying with my family (finally managed to kick them out), I was fully convinced that if I didn't put everyone else's emotional wellbeing as my only priority and destroy my own to accommodate, I was selfish. At least now I have a role-model on how not to be.

[@tiffanyhaberacker]

The bass ackwards thing about narcissists that I've learned is that they are actually some of the most insecure people around.

[@BecxCosyCorner]

"there are disabled people that need our love" sweetie, as a legally blind disabled women, I do NOT NEED your love, thanks anyway but I have plenty of love around me from the people who actually give a shit about who I am as a person

[@rachel_sj]

As a recently autistic woman (both for ASD and ADD), I have NO CLUE what they’re version of “loving” people with disabilities means. I also grew up in a fundamentalist Christian environment and what I’m assuming that the “love” means is making sure disabled people are “useful” to their cause or other ableist bullcrap. I don’t need that idea of “love”, I need to be listened to so accommodations can be made so I can thrive in the world on my own terms. If you don’t like that well then fuck you honestly...

[@777Rowen]

Yes! Preach it queen! I’m visually impaired/legally blind as well so I get you. ❤️🥰👏

[@WateryStar]

I'm also disabled and that bothered me too. I can imagine them praying for my chronic illness to be cured but not doing anything to help with my current situation.

[@happilyeverafterhanna]

As a chronically ill woman same! People like these women don’t care about us, I’m thankful for all the people who legitimately love me

[@happilyeverafterhanna]

@@WateryStar exactly! They’d pray for us but then tell us not to love ourselves and they won’t advocate for us

[@vintagearisen]

Summary of this chick: I had a psychologically unhealthy relationship with faith, replaced it with an unhealthy set of coping mechanisms, and decided that the coping mechanisms were the problem, not me being unhealthy

[@MereBearScare]

Sadly, this is the exact mindset I see with so many fundies (as well as myself when I used to be a Christian)

[@butterbeanqueen8148]

And “oh by the way buy my book”.

[@tempest6048]

so "I wrote a book about myself to sell MY experience to other people because I am ashamed of myself" that's all I hear

[@lesbiangoddess290]

The mental gymnastics tho.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

Also, It's a book about MY experience but we shouldn't listen to anyone else's experience because they are subjective. But my opinion is objective so listen to me please. I know how bad self love is because I almost died from an eating disorder, isn't that like a super objective argument............ I mean, Guuuuuurrllll

[@jessicadoban2564]

Their whole way of belief just leaves me spinning. No other idols. Worship us! Let's have fun at our conference. Don't have fun, your heart is lying! The meek and poor. Look at our pride! Easier to pass through the eye of a needle for the rich to reach heaven. Buy our books! God made you and he is perfect. Except he fucked up making you so you're born with sin! But he'll save you. Maybe! He wasn't perfect when making you but his words are absolute truth! We know. Listen to no one. But us! Loop loop loop.

[@marishaweikart215]

I truly believe she’s traumatized by the breakup and her ex used the statement “you’re not enough”. She’s such a selfish evil person.

[@spriddlez]

Her "There are people who need our love right now" speech reminds me a lot of the classic "There are kids starving in Africa" statement. Just because other people suffer doesn't mean you do not suffer, that people near and dear to you aren't suffering.

[@hannahanoa]

So true. Plus, a lot of Christian's idea of helping others in need is missionary colonialism, which is SO problematic

[@cobblegen1204]

I have been saying that judging someone’s pain relative to others is so foolish. If that was the case, then murder would be considered harmless since people endured worse fates than murder in concentration camps.

[@BecxCosyCorner]

We all suffer, just in different ways and some handle it better then others do, thats what therapy/psychology is here for, is to help us live through our good and not so good times by giving us tools to use and at least for me, the tools I am given from my psychologist helps me shift my perspective.

[@amb.iant_yt]

My mom telling me to “get busy helping someone else” instead of getting help. Like that’s fine mom but let me get therapy too

[@cobblegen1204]

@@amb.iant_yt Your mother sounds like a sorry excuse for a human being. I hope she has some redeeming traits. That is an extremely harmful mentality.

[@pystoph3987]

Relevant tweet I saw the other day: "i’m sorry but you don’t get to complain about cancel culture if you literally believe in hell"

[@littleboots9800]

Yeah, dont get it. Is it supposed to be funny? Everyone thinks there so witty and profound on twatter.

[@friendofstars]

@@littleboots9800 It's funny because most people who are complaining about "cancel culture" are upset because their "opinion" (which is often racist, homophobic, sexist etc.) is not accepted. So it's kinda ironic that these people believe in a god that sends them to hell

[@justme-qd6qb]

@@littleboots9800 of course it's funny, it's hypocrisy at its best. Complaining about people holding you accountable for your harmful actions when you believe everyone with different believes is a bad(sometimes evil) inferior person that'll go to hell (and often this doesn't stay at personal thoughts but gets used as justification for being shitty to others). It's literally the original cancel culture.

[@karly.asshhh]

Lmao I love this

[@RenTheBarbarian]

[spits tea]

[@VictoriaCrow1005]

A social worker that roasts religious fundamentalist? I have found the holy grail of the internet. 👏

[@danithefiend6167]

I know!

[@crystalrauh9206]

Ummmm, from my experience in this life, most social workers are not Christian. Is this supposed to be shocking?

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

@@crystalrauh9206 it depends where you live. A lot of the therapists and such ive worked with have been christian and have been weirded out that im very much so not religious. Ive had professionals tell me to look to god. It just depends where you live. And if you live in the midwest or bible belt of america youre probably gonna run into a lot more.

[@crystalrauh9206]

@@saltydinonuggies1841 I’ve lived in Texas and Utah my entire life. I’ve had a much different experience, but that’s just me, I guess.

[@Ashnod24]

@@crystalrauh9206 even tho your in the same town people run in devern't circle's come at devern't locations where there are completely devern't views. So that you did grow up somewhere doesn't mean much if you where not in same circle's or social spot as the other person. Trust me I did grow up in devern't social classes and completely devern't environments in same towns and it where completely devern't world's even tho it's in same town

[@kenz2401]

“Sounds an awful lot to me like psychosis” took me out.

[@bebeenderson7863]

Morgan just wants to feel special

[@eviesholette]

Honestly she allegedly has BPD so I wouldn't be surprised if she was psychotic... I worry about Morgan.

[@KasThinks]

😅😂😅

[@pansexualdickhaver6878]

@@shadowthesatanist my psychotic breaks cause me to create my best art! There are times where paranoia creeps in tho lmao

[@brianthedesertbum]

i screeched and cackled.

[@aec7c]

Side note: why do these people refer to themselves as "girls"? They're clearly adults, and I'm wondering if this infantalization of women in conservative Christian culture functions to keep them constantly off-balance and dependent.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

Oh yeah. Theres a huge issue in (especially) fundamentalist circles about infantilizing women. Most (if not all) of these circles believe women should be completely dependant on men. Starting with their fathers, then their husbands, and any brothers if the first two options fail. They are meant to do everything the men in their life want them to, often with severe consequences if not. Its horrible and i hope any women in those situations get out and heal.

[@gamere105ek2]

Amy Costello Wilfong I could be wrong, but I believe they go by “Girl Defined” because their goal is to target young girls, more specifically tweens, teens, and maybe early to mid 20’s, so I think the “Girl” part is because they mainly go for those younger aged group girls. Easier to indoctrinate 💀.

[@nesser52]

Frashbacks to my cishet ex who kept nagging when I used the word "woman"; he accepted "girls" and "guys"? No, "men" only xD frigile masculinity hello

[@delaney9383]

Oop -- 👀

[@EternalxGuardian]

Yeah it really is a thing. Daughter of a pastor, here (anyone shocked I'm no longer a christian?). Super gross, but saying "woman" often elicits a much more sexual meaning within strict christians, and we all know that's a Sin™, so they say girl instead.

[@sarahbannon8529]

As someone who grew up strictly catholic, seeing videos like these give me hope for other people, especially young women, who have left the church. Having a professional therapist dismantle these harmful ways of thinking brings me so much peace. I’ve been away from the church for years but these ideas of shame and guilt still affect me, I can’t tell you how grateful I am to hear them destroyed so intelligently and concisely by a professional in the mental health field. Thank you for making videos like this💛

[@MickeyAtkins]

I’m so glad that this was helpful to you! There can be so much toxicity and shame wrapped up in religion so I’m always down to call that out where I see it if it helps y’all! 💕

[@danithefiend6167]

Recovering Catholic right here! *I GET IT*

[@Fran-mh2ef]

Right. I left the church myself because they shamed me for doing innocent normal humanly everyday activities like sleeping and having sex. They said sleeping was or is like being a sluggard and having sex "before marriage" is slutty and sinful. Like who da hell doesn't sleep or have sex!?🙊🙈🙍🏾

[@sarah-zv8ld]

i was raised in a strictly christian community and have been going to christian schooling my entire life, so the rhetoric has been deeply ingrained into me. im only just now starting to be able to handle talking about it and hearing the rhetoric again without my mind going completely blank and not being able to form a coherent thought. the healing is going to take a lot of time i think but finding the kind of content that unpacks all of it has been so reassuring to me. id also recommend checking out dr. marlene winell's work if you want more to explore

[@-_M-_]

Ex Catholic here too. I even looked around at other religions and found happiness in paganism

[@spaidaroo]

I'm living for all the camera stares that just scream "seriously?" lmao

[@danithefiend6167]

The blinking eyes say it all.

[@rainbowgirl3225]

Them: even people who hate themselves take care of themselves. Me *forgets to eat or is incapable of moving at times to actually take care of myself*

[@roseinskyrim]

same.

[@danithefiend6167]

Say it! Literally paralyzed.

[@theyoutubeanalyst3731]

This reminds me of my therapist telling me to exercise self love by making sure I ate enough every day, shower, drinking enough water. I even mentioned one day "today I was sick all day, so I couldnt eat, but I remembered what you said so at night I crawled to the kitchen and Made sure to make me some soup, but added some egg and nori sheets", and she got so happy for me. Some of us have difficulty to function sometimes, self love Is so important.

[@ziqqyziqqy]

i literally burn myself out constantly bc i feel whatever i do is not enough or reaching the point of standards, yeah girl defined, i love myself /s

[@CatBarefield]

A definite proof that they have no grasp on the notion of “poor mental health”.... smh

[@cjlair7476]

“your experiences aren’t objective truth” *proceeds to tell her experiences as if they are fact

[@samanthaecotothermia7896]

I CANNOT believe that this girl pulled out a C.S. Lewis quote and tried to twist it to fit her own psychobabble and say that we don't need to love ourselves. Not everyone might like C.S. Lewis' religious standpoints or literature, but he was a much more intelligent writer and individual and that part just made me ill.

[@lickmyballoonknot]

I love how it was twisted too into a "loving people doesn't mean you have to like, care about or even be nice to them," like oh okay that's one way to justify Christianity, sure.

[@katefriend4085]

That p!ssed me off as well, CS Lewis is not perfect, but his take on "love your neighbor as yourself" was the first time that verse made actionable sense to me. What came out of her mouth was... Dumb? It wasn't what Lewis said!

[@faeriekerry]

Legitimately spit out my drink when she tried to quote Lewis! Hahaha the full quote is, “…it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable [loving] is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings…do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.” He’s saying that you shouldn’t just love your neighbor through your words but through your actions. Put your money where your mouth is and do things for your neighbors to show them love, not just say you love them and do nothing to justify it. Truly amazing to see her confidently misquote an incredibly high-profile contemporary writer. lol

[@AnxietyRat]

Simping for Jesus is the funniest shit I've heard in a while. So true! 🤣🤣🤣

[@danithefiend6167]

I love your username!

[@allisoneuph1]

These girls are so off base. Yes,you can join religion and still participate in self care. Progressive Christian here. Therapy is vital and saved my life. Love your videos

[@theredheadedheathen7615]

You should check out the God Is Grey channel if you haven’t already- I’m not religious but she is a very warm, welcoming Christian and I enjoy listening to her 😊

[@allisoneuph1]

@@theredheadedheathen7615 love God is Grey

[@broomraider]

@@allisoneuph1 grey is bae

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@theredheadedheathen7615 God is Grey is amazing!!! I love her so much, even as someone who Isn't a christian. She's just a cool christian that gives me hope for the next generation, especially the younger people who watch her. She's just such a good influence.

[@joannajett2524]

@@theredheadedheathen7615 You beat me to it !! =D

[@maam_this_is_a_wendys1024]

I’ve suffered from depression since I hit puberty. I don’t even truly know what happiness is. When I was first diagnosed my mom felt deep within her being that it was the devil and I just needed to get closer to god and that I wasn’t trying to even be happy and that I had no reason to be sad. Even when I was being committed to a mental institution I was shamed for my mental illness by my mom and step dad the entire drive there and intake process. My point in saying all this is that using religion in the way those women are is incredibly damaging and hurtful. If all you hear is that you’re not trying hard enough or that you’re just being selfish just makes it far worse. I’m 32 and I’m just finally beginning to understand and embrace what makes me who I am. I shouldn’t be shamed for being ok with who I am.

[@deannaprovost582]

I am so sorry, I am a Christian and this is not the way a true Christian should ever act, it even says in the bible that everything we do should be done and said with love. What they did was not love but judgement and shame. This is why so many turn away from God. Many churches are corrupt I am so sorry. I hope you got away from that and received the support and help you truly needed. I believe God gave us the knowledge of Dr.’s and professional’s for a reason, to use them.

Same girl! It's all up from here now!

[@maam_this_is_a_wendys1024]

@ now I’m a spicy disaster with a small but very supportive circle of people and heathy( but money draining) hobbies and coping skills. The devil and I have come to an understanding.

[@maam_this_is_a_wendys1024]

@@deannaprovost582 what breaks my heart is that my sister is continuing the trauma with her own daughter. She flat out told her daughter that she loves God more than her and he means more to her than her own daughter does. I was floored and i so I joked that this is why Im going to hell because I love no one more than I love my son.

[@deannaprovost582]

@@maam_this_is_a_wendys1024 So sad, I hope your niece doesn’t end up with the view that God does things to punish people etc. God is the embodiment of love and grace.

[@ThunderTaker1215]

My mom told me that the reason I was so depressed and anxious as a teenager was because I didn’t take church seriously enough🙃 we haven’t spoken in over 4 years.

[@carsonjones6479]

Glad you set boundaries with your mom that’s sick for a parent to say and narcissistic hope you’re taking care of yourself and doing good ❤️.

[@EmmaAndEmmaAndEmma]

Allie: “Here’s my very subjective / unhealthy experience with chasing ‘self-fulfillment’ that completely ignores mental health facts, and why it should define everyone else’s view on self-love.” Allie two seconds later: “We can’t rely on inner-truths and subjective experiences only objective truth.” 🤨

[@crystalrauh9206]

If you read the book, it will make a lot more sense. It’s very hard to condense into a short segment of talking.

[@MT-lk7qt]

Allie is objective truth. Duh. /s

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@crystalrauh9206 It will never make sense because it's toxic christianity pumped into a book! now please leave this safe space because we don't need your brainwashery here.

[@tempesttossed6029]

@@julieannelovesbooks Keep in mind that this person is just that; a person and doesn't deserve harshness before they have done anythign deserving of it. @ Crystal; I'm sure that the more you read, the easier it becomes to ignore this glaring hypocrisy. But to say "personal truth is not valid," and then say "but mine is" is just wrong.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@tempesttossed6029 I’ve had many back and forths with this person under many comment threads so that’s possibly why my comment came across as harsh. You’re right, I could’ve been a lot less harsh. I’m sure you can understand that can be hard sometimes when you’re really passionate about something, especially when someone else is promoting a hurtful rhetoric and you’re trying to stand up for others.

[@lucysour]

My older brother has become a very nationalist catholic, (which is super bizarre to me because my father was a Jew who loved Taoism and my mother doesn't adhere to any particular religion) but I've had a lot of conversations with him now where he has tried to convince me that all morality stems from Christianity. There is really no proof or reasoning to back it up, but people who get into these cult-like religions are brain washed into thinking outsiders have no morals and are lesser-than (They're going to hell, after all.). It is racist and xenophobic, and it pisses me off.

[@justme-qd6qb]

Yeah this 'objective morality' thing really confuses me. Does that mean (these particular) Christians only do good because otherwise they'll go to hell? Because it doesn't seem like they believe humans are inherently ethical/good. And that to me just seems very selfish, 'i only do good things cause it'll benefit me' not because you actually want to do good. Maybe I'm not understanding it right...

[@ingridlaskova8526]

Yeah, they are going to Goddess Hel.

[@joshuabuchanan1141]

Same

[@jamicottin1429]

They’re so black and white in their thinking, you’re either prideful and conceited for loving yourself and therefore a sinner, or you’re self deprecating and depressed and, in their mind, a sinner for struggling with poor self image.

[@marshatolbert154]

Their lack of education, especially any training in logic or critical thinking is quite obvious and alarming.

[@brianthedesertbum]

more like theyre white and ivory with their emotional ranting.......

[@celesteASL]

I'm so thankful I found you. As someone who grew up in this culture (literally, I'm not exaggerating at all. Homeschooled, fundie lite, the whole nine yards) and who is going to therapy right now, it's so helpful to hear you talk about this topic. I'm a new atheist so unraveling the problems that this culture caused has been a journey, and it's nice to know I'm not crazy. Edit: *simp for a made-up man.* I'm dead.

[@MickeyAtkins]

I’m so glad the video was helpful and validating! You are absolutely not alone in having lots to unravel after leaving religion. I hope you continue to find healing and peace! 💕🥰

[@danithefiend6167]

Comedy GOLD.

[@lauda6945]

Let me know if you need a friend who grew up in similar circumstances! It is so hard to work through when there are still so many people who just think this stuff is normal and true. - Lee

[@celesteASL]

@@lauda6945 I like friends. (:

[@lauda6945]

@@celesteASL my Instagram is Kaimana_art if you wanna DM

[@ScrappsMcGee]

"These people simp for a made up man" 😄 absolute poetry, thank you.

[@danithefiend6167]

I read this right as she said it.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

The religion fandom getting heated again 😂

[@milfluvr]

@@saltydinonuggies1841 Religion fandom 😹😹 im stealing that I love it lmfaoo

[@ericb9252]

Not made up

[@garfieldseviltwin97]

@Christopher Jackson. There is evidence from legit historical sources such as Tacitus and Josephus which suggest that Jesus really did exist.

[@KaraNolting]

The irony of saying self-love is a myth while lost in fundamentalism is HEAVY

[@brianthedesertbum]

no wonder their souls have collapsed under their own weight. cos theyre empty sucking voids that its better to stay away from unless u also want to be plunged into a neverending and dark freefall........ and to understand that watch mickeys video about the allure of horror!

[@moonnd1522]

As a young Christian... Growing up I keep on seeing hypocrisy everywhere, it's slowly iritate me... The amount of guilt trip and gaslight that I need to go through is just unbearable

[@tonyhogg9839]

Yeah I look back and think "That was so not healthy". Always being told that you're doing things wrong but don't realize it, you need to realize your hurting god with your selfish actions, you need to be honest, etc. It just became exhausting. Constantly worried my sinful self was constantly ruining my life. Like you feel like you can't even ever get annoyed driving in traffic. It's impossible expectations.

[@rainmirron]

@@tonyhogg9839 @Mood ND I'm so sorry you're all going through this. Fortunately, when you're an adult you get to choose your church home or not one at all. What's important is how you want your personal relationship with Christ to be, not what others think your relationship should look like. Especially, those you have discerned are hypocrites. Remember they have no heaven nor hell to put you in and you are both beautifully & wonderfully made. God Bless.

[@countryrat6t6]

Same. But if you're interested in a christian channel that is not harmful/toxic, check out God is Grey. To me, she represents a lot of what I thought I was taught about Jesus and the Bible growing up in church.

[@lizabethblake8755]

@@countryrat6t6 I love her chanel! She's the best!

[@moonnd1522]

@@rainmirron I'm sorry for the late reply 😭 but yup! I'll do my best!

[@grayander3149]

It’s kind of funny to me that their description of cancel culture is actually what Christian shunning tends to look like

[@Hollow_Shell]

so basically she is like: "I've tried self love and I started to literarlly offing myself" and I'm like "Girl if this is what you consider love I'm scared"

[@Hollow_Shell]

"cancel culture will ruin your life for standards that hasn't been here yeasterday" I bet they don't follow half of things in bible....and bible is very old

[@dinakap1208]

She just end up doing the same thing as she did when she was in uni...she built up a front of non-identity, accepting she is not "enough" and devotion to god to feel "enough".

[@atomiccrouton]

Fundamentalists Christians out here complaining about cancel culture against racism and discrimination when they got mad over a red Starbucks cup. Also, loving and validating yourself was my first step I took with my therapist and it lead to learning how to take accountability for my actions. It's like you are enough and you do have the power to make decisions in your life because you as a person are valid. It also means you are responsible for the consequences of your decisions (this was my least favorite conversation to have and the part I still really am working on). It's almost like by saying she's not enough, she's shifting the responsibility to literally anything but herself because it absolutely sucks and is really fucking hard to take responsibility.

[@annaolson4828]

Real rich of them to talk about loving your neighbor when they're some of the most openly homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic people I have the misfortune to know about.

[@MT-lk7qt]

I hate that smug expression Allie always has on. Her "humility" is so transparently fake it hurts.

[@anniemarie63]

Oh Allie Beth.... A Christian so humble she told the Pope he didn’t understand Scripture 🤣

[@mirzanazri1936]

@@anniemarie63 Wait a minute

[@Sparklecatofdoom]

The other two aren't much better. They look like people who maybe studied what an empathetic, concerned face should look like but never quite got the hang of it

[@MT-lk7qt]

@@Sparklecatofdoom Yeah they're really bad too, tbh.

[@aureliamoore2105]

I couldn't stop laughing when they said "the power of christ compels you" because all I could think about was the Exorcist

[@visaman]

That was a Freudian slip, letting on that they are Catholics.

[@deycallmemari]

I fckin choked on my coffee HAHAHHAAHA

[@kylastyla6399]

I think of that meme/vine where the woman was holding up a cross to her dog and it was like howling at it 💀

[@freckledandred]

They look like they've never missed a hair or nail appointment so I find it hard to believe they actually listen to their own advice

[@visaman]

They are looking good for Jesus.

[@girlwhocares5499]

They have a video about how to do your make-up for Jesus

[@lifeofatruckerswife]

@@visaman right?!?! These are the same "girls" that make videos about wearing makeup in a God loving way... Or...how to dress in a way pleasing to God.... They should read up on how the body is a temple...and you shouldn't defile your temple...(the one in the overalls needs her roots done...and the false nails..ijs....)

[@visaman]

@@lifeofatruckerswife That would be Bethany. She was in her 30s trying to look like 12. She finally snagged herself a husband.

[@Jay-tk1zh]

Me and my wife left a fundamentalist cult similar to girl defined years ago and we are still recovering from traumas related to that thinking we used to have. We were taught to hate ourselves (sin) and to reject self love and self esteem in favor of myths. One time my wife was told to forgo therapy for more prayer. This video was great and awesome to hear

[@roccafille]

Happy you guys left that unhealthy community, much love ❤️!!

[@caitlin_menosky]

"There is an objective truth outside of individual experience"- then why, pray tell, did my journey of recovery with mental illness from toxic theology not involve a shame spiral like yours? Is it perhaps because the self-destructive habits I have aren't the same? And that loving myself was the first step into making better choices? Just thoughts.

[@crystalrauh9206]

Christians do love themselves. They love themselves for the right reasons. Because God loves us, we can be content. Because God loves us, we love Him. Because God loves us, we take care of ourselves and others. Self love means we love ourselves without God being in the picture at all. So, we don’t love ourselves in spite of our many many faults. We love because God first loved us. God is the source of unconditional (agape) love. We all need that kind of love. God gives it to us, but he also loves us too much to allow us to stay in our sin. So, He sanctifies us slowly, but surely, for the rest of our earthly lives.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@crystalrauh9206 Again, we don't need this shit in our safe space. If you listened to the video you would know what self love means. It means being at peace with yourself. You can be at peace with yourself and also be loved by god. So I don't know what you're going on about.

[@crystalrauh9206]

@@julieannelovesbooks oh, this is your safe space? I didn’t get the memo. So, the comment section is for people who agree only?

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@crystalrauh9206 It's not about agreeing or disagreeing it's about being respectful and helping each other heal. Preaching about the lord and how the love of the lord works is not healing for someone who commented on how theology hurt them in their life and how they ended up becoming mentally ill from it. It's far from healing, it's damaging. I'm just telling you that you are allowed to have your opinion and view of the world but if it's hurting others you can choose not to share it.

[@crystalrauh9206]

@@julieannelovesbooks she said “toxic theology.” There are many many (so very many) people who think they know what Biblical Theology is, and isn’t. But, the same people who call it toxic (many times), have no clue what it actually is. They’ve never studied it, or looked into it. They just go by what they perceive on a surface level. When so called “toxic theology” is used as a weapon against Christianity and/or objective truth, I’m going to call it out, not to hurt anyone, but to possibly shed some light on the subject, if they will be open minded enough to allow me to. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t we all want to live our lives based on things that are true?

[@reneepogue2188]

Ayyyy, it reminds me of my teenage years when I tried to talk to my mom about my depression and she forced me to talk to some half-baked "Christian counselor" who told me my problem was focusing too much on "self"-esteem instead of "Jesus"-esteem.

[@PeaceOutILoveMrYoung]

Umm... I have Cerebral Palsy. Please don't act like you're helping me, cause you're not.

[@katrinabradford4327]

I love your vidoes! Was wondering if you could make a video about Religious Trauma Syndrome and/or purity culture and how it affects our MH and wellbeing as women?

[@MickeyAtkins]

Omg! I just saved some research to my desktop about this yesterday! I’m on it, my friend! 💕

[@ChronicGoblinQueen]

Ooh yes, definitely something on purity culture, Nadia Bolz-Weber has spoken a lot about it

[@katrinabradford4327]

@@MickeyAtkins Amazing! Thank you so much! You're really helping a lot of people by making these videos

[@EmiltPaige58]

Yes, please! I grew up in a fundie lite household. Its cathartic to watch real mental health professionals dismantle the myths I grew up in.

[@littleboots9800]

@@ChronicGoblinQueen urgh. Shes dreadful.

[@carriekitchen5796]

Them: Jesus said love your neighbor as yourself. Also them: that’s not what Jesus meant Jesus: aight ima need y’all to stop putting words in my mouth.... did I stutter

[@Bella-ef4kw]

As a Christian, I am not offended by the “these girls are simping for a made up man” line 😂

[@cobblegen1204]

Honestly, based on their views, I don’t think they even worship the same god as other Christians.

[@kathrynvincent1563]

A lot of this fundamentalism prepares you for abuse. The whole “God didn’t have too do good but did because he is” is such a horrible take on love. Like describe anyone but God and you’ve got a selfish asshole, especially if they have the power and have no cost to themselves, it’s a mercy to to the right thing...

[@crystalrauh9206]

God became a man (Jesus) and was tortured relentlessly, and died on a cross to save us....how is that “no cost to him”?

[@crystalrauh9206]

It would prepare you for abuse if you were putting your trust in a man or woman, but putting your trust in God is good and the opposite of abuse, because He knows and does what’s best for you, unlike sinful humankind.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

@@crystalrauh9206 im not gonna blindly follow someone without proof they want to even help me. The worst time in my life was when i was part of a fundamentalist religion, well cult is the better word. I have healed and grown past the point of needing to fall back on a religion that hates me. Stop pushing your religion on others.

[@crystalrauh9206]

@@saltydinonuggies1841 I would never want anyone to blindly follow anything or anyone. That’s nonsensical. I’m all for being informed.

[@elan825]

@@crystalrauh9206 But why did Jesus have to die on the cross? To forgive our sins? Couldn't he just - you know - forgive people? Like any normal person would? How disturbed do you need to be to perform a blood ritual and have yourself be tortured in order to forgive? If I can do without, why can't god? Also, why exactly does sin exist in the first place (according to Christianity; to me it's a made-up concept)? Didn't god create people with the full knowledge they were going to disobey him? So how is people sinning anything other than god's own fault? He would have to be forgiven for creating sinful creatures, giving them free will, not doing anything to stop them from sinning, and then punishing people for being sinful. The story about the garden of Eden is so silly. God couldn't have created people to be perfect, because if they were, Adam and Eve wouldn't have disobeyed God. If disobeying God is bad, they weren't perfect. And how can you blame imperfect beings for making mistakes, when they don't know even what is good or bad? The story sounds like putting a child that you created and that you know loves sweets - and doesn't understand that they're bad for them - right next to a bowl of sweets. And when it grabs some and eats them, you slap them mercilessly in the face. If you do that, then you're the asshole, you're at fault. You knew better. Why would the child be at fault and why would you have to torture yourself to forgive it? How does that make any sense at all?

[@SM41104]

I love myself and still struggle daily with mental illness. Even things like brushing my teeth or my hair are still difficult to make sure I do. Just because I love myself doesn't mean I no longer struggle. The battle is daily, but the war has been won already. The work never stops. And my journey has been long. I didnt always love myself, for a while I hated myself, but even now that I do I still struggle. Loving yourself doesn't mean the work ends or that im cured 🙄 hate people that still think it ends.

[@juliadandy6019]

“There is an objective truth and let ME be the one to define and explain that to you”

[@carseniaraye1423]

I love how Mickey doesn't really let them talk for more than 10 seconds. Because god knows I can't listen to them talk for more than 10 seconds without wanting to rip out all the hair on my legs.

[@lazers28]

I feel like even within many christian traditions you ARE enough. I've found love for myself through BOTH therapy and Jesus Christ. Self-love is not the same thing as hedonism or vanity like this woman suggests. Self-love can be experiencing gratitude for your life, your god-given skills and personality, feeling pleased with your hard work and accomplishments, and appreciating who you are and can become. And as far as Truth goes you are dead on. Even with an "objective truth" in the Bible our understanding of that truth is influenced by our life experiences. The writers of the bible filtered their experiences, (hence why the gospels have different perspectives on Christ's ministry) the readers of the bible also filter their experiences. Our ability to know an "objective truth" is limited by our human understanding.

[@crystalkirlia4553]

Your 3 moods in this video: Done Pissed Confuzzled 😂🤣😂

[@jsevestjanova]

Yes! You should review Paul & Morgan... there's something going on there. Also, the transformed wife. She's actually so problematic and dangerous!

[@alexgrey7972]

YES transformed wife is HORRIFYING

[@hopepirovolikos2838]

i was watching your paul and morgan vid for the third time as a podcast in the background. when the video ended i didn’t pull my phone out in time so a girl defined video started auto playing i have never been so upset about giving someone a click before

[@Raztiana]

It's disturbing how they can't seem to find the difference between showing self compassion and being egocentric, borderline narcissistic. Self love and self care can't grow an eating disorder, but these three women seem to need to make everything, if not about god or a man, unhealthy and wrong. This self view is not just unhealthy for young girls to observe, it's dangerous. And their lack of facial expressions is just creepy. They seem to be either feeling very little or at least to be in very bad contact with their emotions.

[@sarahthemermaid7998]

Hi, Christian woman here. Ouch they hurt. Thank you for speaking out against this kind of thing. They are misrepresenting the Bible so much here.

[@Youmedevin]

The "he didn't have to, but he did" is the weirdest part for me. Even if they believe jesus has revealed the truth to them , it is objectively wrong to think he's given his truth to us all. Like genuinely I cant understand how those words come out and they don't realize how crap that is.

[@jojobookish9529]

I felt that almost spit-take around 9:15 in my soul 😂 I used to hang around on some Christian forums as a teenager and one of their favorite comeback phrases to people questioning their assertions was "just because you believe it doesn't make it true". And the irony was completely invisible to them.

[@sespino101]

I have been waiting for this!

[@Paper_Smith]

Me too!!

[@sammichbread]

[vine voice] WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY, WE'RE ALL SIMPS FOR JESUS

[@EternalxGuardian]

There's a lot of unspoken "shoulds" in here too. Like her shame spiral/bender sounds like it wasn't really in pursuit of knowing herself. It was her doing all the things she **thinks** a self-loving person does, or a fun college girl **should** do, when in reality she has no idea what treating herself with kindness is actually like.

[@2123bella32122]

The rapid fire callout between like 13:40-14:20 was just brilliant

[@JenniferBrucker]

I grew up with all of the toxic stuff they are talking about. I always was confused about all the "of the world" stuff is bad. Like, I don't know where y'all live, but I live in the world...so yeah, if the world is so bad, why TF did parents bring me into it?

[@visaman]

Christians can live IN the World, but not BE of the World. In other words. "Drugs are bad. M'kay?"

[@blueeyedcat5483]

them: "people need our love" also them: "us vs the world mentality" ....sure that sounds about right

[@wozmike]

Even saying 'I am worthy of Jesus's love even though I'm a sinner' sounds better than 'I'm ashamed of my sinful past, but Jesus still loves me' Self- love can be even be good in that sense to me as a Christian, because as we say, we were created in God's image, then why not love what we are? (Hope I understood their "points" because I couldn't stop laughing at the way they were nodding the entire video, lol)

[@rashelly_v]

i love the “don’t read that” haha watching Girl Defined is like a “looking for logical fallacies” exercise cause holy cow 😳

[@hannah1052]

YES🙌🏼 to your comment about epilepsy. I have epilepsy and my older sister has bipolar. She has expressed that she feels shame about her diagnosis but I love to remind her that I have to take medicine for my brain to function correctly electrically & she has to take medicine for her brain to function correctly chemically. It manifests differently but should not be treated any differently. 💗

[@series161]

omg I love your humor, your insults, your opinion, your way of talking and how educated and fun you are ❤

[@2123bella32122]

Would love to see you react to more Girl Defined but also Paul and Morgan!

[@butasimpleidiotwizard]

I'm honestly astounded by that interpretation of love thy neighbor I don't even know how they came to that conclusion

[@scribblesandknots]

Absolutely more fundamentalism influencer reactions, please! Also maybe a collab between you and Fundie Fridays?

[@pennina-lynncobb6003]

I enjoy watching these types of videos because they help me process what I was taught while I was christian. Thank you!

[@hannahrich4461]

As someone who’s non binary and knows full well that these people would never accept me or anything about me or most of my friends, I don’t find what they’re saying freeing at all

[@tangerinefizz11]

Self-love is largely about self-understanding and self-compassion. Having such self-love makes it a bit easier to understand and empathize with others, and those are some components of a healthy love for others. Not only that, but people who don't truly love themselves often seek out the love they need in relationships that are based on emotional neediness rather than on affection or a genuine connection. Naturally, not only does this harm them, but it also can harm their partners or any children they may have.

[@tartdarling]

My favorite thing about these fundies is that they love to quote old testament scripture as if god put pen to paper for every translation, especially when it comes to their homophobia, but then conveniently ignore biblical scholars who point out that the original hebrew text translates to 'let men not lay with BOYS as he does with a woman' and not men, so that whole verse is about not sleeping with literal children not someone of the same gender.

[@444angelina]

“we have to go to bed at night, we all know what’s in our hearts” is such a heartbreaking statement bc like. no actually. the majority of us don’t feel that way. that’s not normal… she needs help.

[@maryjaneberrys]

you are my dream therapist 😭

[@myishenhaines1706]

You seem so kind. Thank you for choosing a profession that helps people. My therapist has helped me in so many ways. I am a child abuse and domestic abuse survivor. I struggle with loving myself.

[@kindnessrampaige6327]

Omgosh... I love how radically genuine you are with your opinion and reactions. I love it.

[@graywave4893]

I don't even care about these women but I've really been liking your videos the last couple months because you just have such a good and comforting energy as a person. Thanks for that. Your videos are pretty great

[@kelseyarmeni8031]

You are amazing! Im so glad someone did a video about girl defined. its so toxic

[@brl6002]

Between this video and part one your aura just screams “That’s not how this works. That’s not how ANY of this works!” I love it.

[@doalux]

i love how girl defined just sit there nodding like 👁👄👁

[@Lea-ie6tb]

I just stumbled upon your channel a few days ago and wanted to say thank you for creating such important and comprehensible content about mental health while also being entertaining. Self care and mental health are such broad topics and much discussed on social media, so its good to see a an actual professional giving advice. Its kinda horrifying to think that young people, especially girls watch girl defined and think this is what self care actually is.

[@CharletteG]

She lost me at I was a good Christian girl, bye with your self righteousness.

[@Iam_Celene]

Amen.

[@rilleygriffin]

omg I love that she said you can love other people before you love yourself 😭 it scares me when people say you can’t, bc I’m just not there yet. thank you for these kind words ♥️

[@gyiann3003]

Your facial expressions throughout the video are everything and express everything 😂

[@betsywilliamsonyoga]

Oh man, when I was like 12 or 13 my mom made me go to therapy because I was reading a teen novel about witches. I mean, the therapy was helpful because my parents had recently divorced and my mom and I moved to a different city. But the only thing said about the book was when the therapist asked me why I came to see her. I told her my mom was worried about me for reading this fiction about witches. And now that I am thinking about it, around this same time I told my mom I wasn’t going to church with her anymore. So, now I am not a Christian and I don’t have a Christian world view. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@roseinskyrim]

Ouch. I didn’t have to go to therapy for it, but when I was younger, mom tossed a scholastic book in the garbage that I’d bought with my own money because it had a little (friendly) ghost of a cat in it. And then years later she had a talk with me and made me show her all the books I ever brought home from the (high)school library because a couple of them mentioned sex-I’d been hiding them under my bed or between my mattress cause I knew she’d flip out, but she saw one night when she wanted to come in and I wasn’t fast enough to hide it , rip. And then into my adulthood she’d still question my book choices and admonish me and tell me she was worried for my soul and wouldn’t shut up about it. My older bro, too, would half-jokingly/mockingly admonish me and flip through them occasionally as well if he came over and saw I’d gotten something from the library. I just wanted to enjoy my books for fricks sake. >..< I was constantly hiding them or choosing ‘tame’ books so if asked about or seen they wouldn’t cause questioning and talks. It was a pain in the arse but a few years ago she finally stopped.

[@petiteange08]

aah. This reminds me of my mom forcing me to swear that I would never read Harry Potter again because it's about magic.

[@rootgroves3470]

i loved this!! don't know how you have the tolerance to listen to them for more than two seconds honestly I can't manage it lol. really enjoyed your stream last night too! hope you have a lovely day

[@MickeyAtkins]

Thank you for coming to the stream! It’a all in the pursuit of helping others so I don’t mind listening to them drone on and on 😂

[@Brodie3K]

"They simp for this man so hard" Yesss 😂 I love your straight up takes on videos. I feel like people try to dance around things on KZbin, so it's great to hear my kind of humor.

[@BussyDestroyerKai]

“I’m not good enough and that’s fine.” Should have been “I’m not perfect and that’s ok because I’m enough the way I am” you’re supposed to welcome your flaws and accept them. Not put yourself down because of them. Everyone should feel good enough.

[@joshuabuchanan1141]

I don't have to accept my flaws if I don't want to, and no that has nothing to do with Allie and girl defined and their fucked up ways of thinking since their both brainwashed in fundamental bullshit

[@molliemarple2386]

I’m in the masters program right now. Graduated with BSSW in pandemic and have a full caseload working at home since I graduated- almost been at the job a year. This job is taxing and I am getting burnt out. These videos help push me forward to get my LMSW as well. Please keep uploading if it’s feasible! Sending love your way

[@Karina22222]

I love your commentary, thank you!!

[@babykrul]

Hey mickey! Just wanted to say how refreshing it is that you talk about therapy things with still such a light hearted energy! It makes the subjects you talk about much more approachable and uplifting, and less heavy feeling. Keep it up! You really added something new to the therapy community on youtube, good job! ✨

[@magentastarr608]

I face palmed hard when they started talking about cancel culture. Like fundamental christians basically started cancel culture and they use it ALL THE TIME!

[@shanepennino5598]

I really appreciate this video. For years I was raised in an environment that told me I couldn’t trust myself, I was inherently broken, and told to “die to myself.” Eventually I began to adopt a more self love outlook, but it has been very hard. I had horrible self esteem, and a lowly view of myself that is taking time to heal. But this video really helped and validated much of my experience. Thanks!

[@liamdesemple4245]

"so that's pretty sus" 😂😂😂

[@rikki635]

got here from you tiktok reaction videos and i am loving your content so much!! here's some food for the algorithm. also so glad you touched on how the concept of this inherent "sin nature" really parallels an abusive relationship, i've been saying that shit for years.

[@autumnbrooke1721]

I’m late , but I actually have to thank these women, as they have helped lead me away from the further right and fundamental Christianity . I have found Progressive Christianity , a new church , and some wonderful channels, including yours and God is Grey . Thank you 💜❤️

[@emdawkins86]

I am speechless. What in the what what?!! Like you said, we are so multifaceted. And what else would your truth be but your experience?! I'm glad that I could experience this through your commentary cause otherwise...

[@emilyc.404]

I kept thinking it wasn't going to get worse, and then it did

[@lindajane2733]

As I am going thru a several months long struggle to find a low income therapist in my area your videos give me hope that there are good therapists out there and that hopefully soon I will find one I click with and I can afford. Thank you for putting them out, you're giving at least one person hope that their are good therapists out there.

[@JenniferBrucker]

Allie:Self love and being your own person and knowing who you are is a road to ruin.... Also Allie: Here is a book I wrote all about my self! me:....um.....

[@crystalrauh9206]

Allie is all for knowing who you are and being yourself. I listen to her regularly (on her podcast, Relatable) and she is all for knowing who you are.

[@JenniferBrucker]

@@crystalrauh9206 that's nice for her. I have spent years undoing the damage that people who think and live her did to me and my mental and physical well-being. The ideals she holds are very negative, and inform a life of internalized misogyny and putting other's health and well-being over your own, double-binding, unhealthy ways of thinking and living for any sort of self-reflection. It's hard enough living in my brain, I don't need a made-up deity adding a series of confusing, contradictory, and just plain unhealthy ideals to live by in there. I know you might find this hard to understand, but some people live their whole, entire lives not even knowing that the Christian version of god and they are happy, healthy, moral, kind, caring, compassionate, and empathetic people.

[@crystalrauh9206]

@@JenniferBrucker I won’t pretend to know you or your journey; of course I don’t. But, it seems like (in general), a lot of people put all Christians in this box of what their personal experience was or is with their version of Christianity. I say “their” because I’m very aware that PEOPLE put their own spin on Christianity all the time. This results (frequently) in a cycle of false teachings from certain so-called churches, pastors, parents, family, peers, etc. There are so many people that call themselves Christian, especially in the Bible Belt, that aren’t actually Christian. They just say they are because they want to be accepted in their circles of friends and family. What I’m really trying to say is that you can call yourself anything you want (not you personally, just in general), but that doesn’t make it true. That’s why God’s Word is so important. You can turn to it for objective Truth. Not truth of people who completely make up their own truth, and then call it Christian. I can’t emphasize enough how common and rampant this has been for a very very long time. Obviously I can’t make you believe; only God can do that. But, at least know what you’re actually rejecting. At least find out what actual Biblical Christianity is, before dismissing it as nonsense. I mean that in a loving way, not a condescending way.

[@crystalrauh9206]

@@JenniferBrucker When you said, “the ideals she holds are very negative, and inform a life of internalized misogyny and putting other’s health and well-being over your own, double-binding, unhealthy ways of thinking and living for any sort of self-reflection,” I am very confused. She doesn’t live like that at all...

[@JenniferBrucker]

​@@crystalrauh9206 with all of the respect I can muster, please don't come to an inclusive therapist's youtube page where the is addressing religious trauma and the toxicity of purity culture and proselytize to us. Most people watching this channel/this specific video are escaping from a lifetime of religious trauma and seeing you continue to comment about knowing god and turning to god and telling us god's word is so important(to you), is traumatizing, triggering, and downright gross. We are here to heal and feel validated, not to be followed by the toxicity of our past and to deal with, a game of "yes, and god" I'm not a Christian anymore and never will be again, NOTHING will change my mind on this. It only makes you look like a desperate and rude person to keep pushing YOUR values on others. I am not going to your channel and your social media channel, preaching to you and your followers about the greatness of being a secular humanist, bisexual, polyamorous, demisexual, socialist(among other things). I can't speak for everyone who watches this channel, but I am here to learn and to heal and would really appreciate it if you would stop preaching about yourself, your needs, and how great your god is...

[@jan2351]

I just wanted to say, THANK YOU.