Therapist Reacts to Paul and Morgan's Dating Advice

What in the purity culture hellscape is happening here? This was a JOURNEY to get through so I'd love if you guys could stick around and watch the whole thing! I, unlike Paul and Morgan, would love to hear your unfiltered thoughts in the comments below! I promise you don't need a good enough reason to feel what you feel. 😉
Sources mentioned in the video:
journals.sagep...
www.ncbi.nlm.n...
www.ncbi.nlm.n...
www.apa.org/sc...
www.thecut.com...
www.vice.com/e...
My Instagram: / mickeyatkinslmsw
My TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/...
My Website: www.ocotillobe...
Music for Intro and Outro:
Intro: Lightrail by Twocann
Outro: Funk is the Problem but also the Solution by Twocann
www.instagram....
open.spotify.c...
BLM Resources/Donations/Petitions
blacklivesmatt...
secure.actblue...
www.gofundme.c...
www.adhoc.fm/p...
www.gofundme.c...
chng.it/sf5k8jL6JJ
secure.actblue...
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**Disclaimer: All videos and content on this channel is intended to be entertainment and educational only. KZbin is not therapy and I cannot provide specific advice or clinical services to anyone on this platform. Your confidentiality cannot be guaranteed on KZbin so please be mindful of this when sharing in the comments!**
Resources for Mental Health Stuff:
In Southern Arizona
University Medicine Crisis Response Center: 24/7 mental health and substance abuse services for youth and adults in crisis. 520-301-2400www.bannerheal...
Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse: Crisis hotline, shelter and other resources for victims of domestic abuse.
1-888-428-0101520-795-4266
www.emergecent...
Jewish Family and Children's Services: Provides counseling and therapy services and has a sliding fee scale program.
520-795-0300
jfcstucson.org/
Pathways Behavioral Health Services: Youth, family, autism and foster services, substance abuse, and adult counseling services.
520-748-7108
www.pathwaysof...
Nationwide
-Psychology Today Therapist Finder: Search engine that helps find therapists in your area. www.psychology...
-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 24/7/365 crisis and prevention services.
1-800-273-8255
suicideprevent...
-NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): Provides education, tools, resources, and a help line for people with mental illness.
1-800-950-6264
or text NAMI to 741741
nami.org/

[@saltbae1789]

As someone who was rushed into an unwanted marriage that turned abusive, this has healed some of my shame. Thank you. ❤

[@DimaRakesah]

Just sending you virtual hugs ❤

[@CorinneA3]

Hope you're doing okay. :)

[@pippin7016]

Sending you some more virtual hugs.

[@CaramelfromKansas]

Same, internet friend, same. May we both stay on this healthy path.

[@cookiesandcream7668]

I'm glad this video was able to help you, and I'm sorry you had to go through that I'm sure you've heard this before but I just want to re-assure it, you should have no shame for anything ♡

[@Parrot5884]

Fun fact: Morgan expressed that she found the first year of marriage to Paul extremely hard and she wasn't expecting it to be so difficult for her. I wonder why...

[@blueismylove3128]

Could it be because she had known the man all her life and they were childhood friend even? /j

[@simplybet8104]

I never understood dating just for fun...until I realized I'm gay. Turns out dating can be fun when you're dating someone you're actually attracted to.

[@madi5286]

Haha yeah i was never interested in dating or love or marriage until i realized being gay was an option 😭

[@leeknowsnose]

@@madi5286 well its not an option its who you are

[@bug593]

@@leeknowsnose i get what you’re saying but when people say they thought being gay wasn’t an option it means that heteronormativity is pushed so hard that you wouldn’t even consider being gay an option for you. like for me i never thought about myself being gay because i thought i basically had to be attracted to men. it’s just assumed. (and then there’s compulsory heterosexuality) like, being a gay person felt like it wasn’t an option because of heteronormativity (or circumstance), not that it was a choice :) i hope i articulated that well

[@leeknowsnose]

@@bug593 yea i understand that, as a queer muslim enby, i relate to that

[@Victoria-_]

I been through a similar story! I’m Demiromanic & Asexual, which I realized about myself recently. And it’s been so eye-opening to finally understand how I view romantic attraction and relationships

[@n4musica]

Here’s the thing. You can definitely know if you’re in love in 4-6 months, but love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage, and people don’t talk about that enough!!

[@misterwinkybluff]

It takes hardships to know how your partner handles certain situations and whether or not you two have the strength to endure these hardships. Same with seeing how they treat service workers or going on vacation together. My partner endured the experience of my mom’s schizophrenia diagnosis and my brother’s suicide, etc. *(WHILE WE WEREN’T EVEN TOGETHER).* We wouldn’t have made it otherwise and I feel *_very_* secure in our relationship.

[@suzyq5291]

When I used to go to church an old lady jumped down my throat about me stating I wanted to date a year minimum before even thinking about marriage and she goes, “Well MY husband and I dated for only a month before he proposed and we got married a month later and we’ve been together for 45 years.” Like okay Barbara congratulations you also complain about your husband non-stop and you both sleep in separate bedrooms so… forgive me if I take what you say with a grain of salt. 😂

[@dliap98]

A MONTH! I literally just had a physical reaction to that lol

[@kierahutchinson4248]

Yeah no it's wild. I almost married someone after 3 years, we broke things off and I realized he was crazy after. Sometimes not even 3 years is enough

[@radiationshepherd]

See straight people UHaul too, I'm always saying this

[@Kudeshka]

I feel like people like that want to confirmation that what they did was normal. Also just because you are still married doe s not mean is a good marriage.

[@blueismylove3128]

Love people who think the length of a relationship means it's a good one.

[@maggiehart6362]

This is such dangerous advice. Abusers, in particular, tend to be very manipulative and very good at hiding their true natures. So often abusers are described as charming, charismatic, friendly, etc., when in reality this is just a carefully constructed facade. I dated a man for 8 months before he even showed the first clear signs of abuse and control. We were together a year before he hit me for the first time. Ultimately he was the most violent, manipulative, controlling, awful human I have ever known, and yet if you asked anyone who knew him in the community, they would all tell you that he was the friendliest, funniest, most charismatic guy. Hell, if you had asked me about him any time within the first 8-12 months of our relationship, I would have said the same thing--that he was a great guy. He wasn't. And I shudder to think what would have happened had I married him in those first months.

[@emmao1232]

so sorry that happened to you :(

[@spokenwordpoetries]

You are absolutely correct. It is very difficult to see the early signs of abuse early in a relationship. Thank you for sharing. I hope that other people can see this and be aware of how abusers work.

[@emcarveth]

I'm so glad you got out!!

[@justanotherskeptic1113]

Yeah! I hear you. I married “such a nice guy”. To community, friends, family, his parents church.. he was such a great guy, would give you the shirt off his back, great business owner etc. Not so much. Took about a year for me to start seeing the cracks in the facade. But he always had reasons for those cracks. Reasons that of course were my fault some how. So glad you got out! Sending you love and hugs. Thank you for sharing.

[@TehMomo_]

so sorry this happened to you... it was about 2 years into a relationship when I started seeing that my partner was exhibiting controlling behavior...that might have turned emotionally abusive if i ended up marrying him... they really do operate on the Long Con....it's disgusting.

[@CaramelfromKansas]

I grew up in purity culture. I married in 4 months. I’m divorced. Guess what toxic people can pretend for a few months. Not years. So….date for years. Just one purity culture survivor to another.

[@SicYennefer]

Hug coming your way

[@spokenwordpoetries]

Wow. That sounds really traumatic. If you feel comfortable, would you mind sharing more of your story? I think it would be helpful for me personally to hear after being somewhat in this culture for my formative years.

[@SicYennefer]

@@spokenwordpoetries Jimmy Snow has a YT channel and talks about purity culture a lot, he's ex-mormon, he also mentions other ex-religious people on YT who struggled with religion - very educational and consoling. I know you're asking OP, but thought my comment could be beneficial

[@karinland8533]

@@spokenwordpoetries try the channel god is gray. She is a purety culture survivor and did some specific videos about the topic

[@Sparklecatofdoom]

Same. Sending love your way...

[@becca8423]

I experienced extensive SA as a child....I will never forget sitting in my elementary school religion class and them using the "used gum" analogy and thinking that I was too broken to ever be loved because of what a GROWN MAN had done to me. I was 7. I am now 37 and still unpacking that stuff in therapy. I am so very thankful for a good partner and good therapy.

[@yeahreally9185]

Same, except my public school had no sex-ed, so they invited religious people to come preach about abstinence. I, a child, thought I was completely disease ridden, and that I would surely kill anyone I came in contact with. I remember thinking of my crush and crying at the idea of being responsible for their death and/or terminal illness. This type of culture helps nobody

[@becca8423]

@@yeahreally9185

[@KasThinks]

🫂 🫂 🫂

[@benzedrineboy]

This is such bullshit they are imposing on people. You are a human being of value no matter what happened to you.

[@Angela1111122222]

In my class they forced boys in class to express those opinions It was so horrifying

[@natsmith303]

"We weren't mean in this video, were we?" To quote Little Red Riding Hood: "Nice is different than good."

[@sashablueperson]

I have an example of very long term dating. I was with my last boyfriend for 8 years. We ended up parting ways because we were headed in different directions in our lives and identities. It was the most honest thing to do. I am profoundly grateful that we dated. I'm also glad we didn't get married because it would have made the natural end of our relationship needlessly traumatic.

[@mermaiddiyartist8119]

Right!

[@selintuncer5430]

Hi, I dont mean to poke the pain you might be feeling because of the breakup but what kinds of directions and identities do you mean? I m curious, how was it for you that you actually figured that it came to its natural course of ending?

[@linglingspacewhales1977]

I wish I did this. I grew up in a conservative Christian household and I married my first boyfriend. We dated for 7 years before getting married but he left me a year later for another woman (our mutual friend of 3 months... and no... their relationship didn't last). Honestly, our relationship was doomed to fail, there were too many red flags but I was taught that divorce was NEVER okay, no matter the circumstance. My own mother was abused by my father for years... that was the standard set for me. I wish I never married my husband because the divorce was expensive. However... I learned alot and I don't regret the relationship. I knew that it's okay to follow my gut and not give in to marriage when you aren't 100% ready

[@marim5620]

Me to! We dated for 8 years, it wasn’t even a good relationship but I thought that was just supposed to be how it was. My parents stayed together even though they didn’t want to be together so I thought relationships were just supposed to be miserable I guess. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and ended it and I’m so thankful I never got married to that person.

[@l3m0nfl00rwax]

I learned that Morgan has diagnosed BPD and Paul won't "allow" her to take medication or have therapy. That's abuse. Flat out. I feel so bad for her.

[@HannahTheHorrible]

Wtf 😭😭

[@TheHerothief]

How do you know that though?

[@Goat.Cheese]

And where did you get this info?

[@amanda6876]

Reference?

[@anonymouspumpkin8296]

I don't know about BPD but she has talked about her depression on the channel and how she and Paul came to a 'mutual decision' that her taking antidepressants would be 'against the lord' Idk whenever I've seen stuff that has to do with them and the more I've found out about how Morgan was before she met Paul the more he just rubs me the wrong way

[@juliadandy6019]

The way he said he decide “I’ve known this girl long enough” sounds like he was trying to buy sneakers at the mall - “yeah this seems comfortable enough.”

[@Luubelaar]

And how many pairs of shoes have you tried on at the store and they were fine, but then you had to wear them for a full "10 hours on my feet work day" and they hurt you? That's happened to me many times. It's almost like that short period of time isn't a totally great indicator...

[@hope-cat4894]

@@Luubelaar That's why we have return policies. Same with dating and divorce. One should be able to leave a failing relationship.

[@prasannar4827]

what if u compare kids the same way u think about sneakers...

[@jamesfv1]

I’m very in love with my outside ugg boots and will never find anything more comfortable. But I tried a lot of shoes beforehand.

[@katrin6388]

but its ok when atheists say "trying before buying"?

[@healthyfitfun]

She legit had a full on panic attack and threw up at the alter during their wedding .. speaking from my experience that was her body telling her NO!

[@RhodaPhone98]

I just watched the clip and he didn’t even go after her to check if she‘s okay??? If my partner would just stand there while I‘m throwing up I would probably break up with him on the spot.

[@belladimanno]

@@RhodaPhone98 omg

[@ira__s]

That is so sad. It seems like she has had to go through a lot and has done a lot of thinking to feel okay now, and thinks that's the only way to do it (I'm just assuming, I don't know much about them).

[@FiddlebirdBlue]

When I went to declare an education major in college, I couldn't do it because each of the three times I tried, I got so intensely anxious that I got nausea and cold sweats. When I went in to declare my major in anthropology, I was shaking with excitement and couldn't stop grinning. When I upgraded my minor in women's, gender, and sexuality studies to a second major, I felt a deep sense of relief and contentment. Listen to your body.

[@healthyfitfun]

@@RhodaPhone98 that’s so disturbing! I’ve had partners like that and they were awful. Very telling.

[@wemadeyouasweaterlee]

As a christian woman I am SO grateful that you are speaking out about church culture! it's important because I have had a lot of more older people in bad relationships try to either push me to get married soon or quickly or to lower my standards and just marry someone. I'm almost 21 and I'm considered "Old" in some circles or that I will never get married kind of thing. Thank you Mickey!!

[@weirdandlazy1]

Anna Duggar’s family did know Josh’s character. Her father arranged the marriage and they were engaged the day she turned 20. She couldn’t say no. The purpose was to give Josh a victim other than his sisters and she was sacrificed by her father to gain clout within their community.

[@maggiehart6362]

Also, four months?! I spent more time deciding which vacuum to buy than that.

[@staceykersting705]

IKR? I shopped for my car longer than THAT (and did the research)!

[@meghannpalmer7417]

Took me two months just to purchase a weighted hoopla hoop 🤣

[@hope-cat4894]

I have a list of books I've been debating on buying for 4 years!

[@lauradubosque9269]

Kkkkk... 😂😂😂 I am deciding for a computer since the beginning of the year.

[@JoelFeila]

well your relationship with your vacuum might laster longer

[@keegee8703]

Four months?! Even just on the idea that summer me and winter me are different... I can’t imagine dating someone from June to September, getting married, and then saying “hey this is me in February, surprise! Pass me the foot warmer no I don’t wanna go out” lol

[@Lauren_210]

That is why I was very opposed to Ross and Emily from Friends getting married after just only six weeks of dating each other. Even for Ross who was a guy who already had one divorce, I found that to be way too unrealistic for me to buy and I just knew it would go down in a downward spiral after that. Me and my college boyfriend meet during our freshman year, were friends for over 6 months, and then we dated for two years. It’s been three years since we broke up and I couldn’t imagine marrying my boyfriend after just only two years. I definitely need more time to really get to know my partner and be sure when it is the proper time to take that next step into engagement and then eventually marriage because that is a huge life decision.

[@funnibeanboi1363]

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a bitch.

[@madi5286]

Ahaha this is Such a good point

[@Allisonsaul]

I felt this 🤣

[@hope-cat4894]

People can also change drastically over a single year. A family tragedy can happen, maybe they got a new job, were injured, etc. Anything that happens in your life can show your true colors that 4 months won't show.

[@MrJeanysunnyd]

They literally don't specify what any of what they're saying means. What does intentional dating mean? What are the "right questions"? And the "right questions" thing, do they think people that date don't ask important questions about their partner?

[@jessicayoung3656]

Intentional dating means dating someone to specifically leads to marriage. They say this in their book, Jimmy Snow reviewed it.

[@fredbarnesjr.1044]

@@jessicayoung3656 in other words loads and loads of bull💩

[@tanijahafizovic3557]

"do they think people that date don't ask important questions about their partner?" Of course not, they're just wilding around and having sex lol

[@melaniemegan1]

Lol I think (to them) "the right questions" are questions that basically "test" whether your partner is "really" Christian (or Christian "enough")

[@lucidthomas4402]

Well the example she gave was "have you struggled with porn?" Which is...ridiculous

[@ira__s]

That advice is just heaven to abusive people. Abusers can be really sweet and charismatic at the beginning and they can make you feel like you're on top of the world, but that can only last so long until they show their true nature and start abusing you. I would never marry someone without being with them for years. Hopefully if I ever get married I want to be with them forever, so I'd rather wait and be extra sure that's what I want.

[@jessicaa3641]

Took me three years to figure this out

[@NatalieJ22]

Literally everything about fundamentalism is an abuser’s playground. They create a situation in which it makes it sooo easy for someone to take advantage of others and then they dismiss and excuse abuse. It’s horrifying and infuriating.

[@BrookeDoesScience]

Yup yup!! My narcissistic first husband easily masked for 2 years. I said I would never get divorced no matter what. Well wedding night he showed his abusive nature. Took me 18 months to get divorced because of the mental struggle of viewing divorce as the worst thing ever. No. Sitting through abusive is the worst thing ever. Not valuing yourself and safety is the worst thing ever. But abusers really do love this language.

[@klaythoring1326]

I don’t think I even realized until he literally said “well now that we’re married I know you’re not going anywhere so I don’t have to pretend anymore” Still took me a while because I was so exhausted and confused by then with just zero trust in my own decision-making.

[@susanstephan7689]

Exactly this. I don't think your average fundie chrisitan thinks like this, but I do think this system is designed to trap women in abusive marriages. They want young, unexperienced women to enter into marriages with sometimes older, but definitely more powerful men (because all men have more power than women in fundie christianity) that they don't know very well. Then, when the abuse happens, she's told it's because she isn't a good enough christian and that divorce is not an option if she wants to continue to be a part of the church community. Nor does she have the financial means to leave because she got married at a young age and has limited career options due to prescribed fundie gender roles.

[@Courtcat1324]

As a gay, me and my girlfriend did some emotional uhauling and I did know that I WANTED to marry her very quickly after meeting her. However we do see the point in still dating. Building a relationship that can last a marriage is important to us! We work all the time on our conflict resolution skills, communication, and sharing love and experiences. Plus both of us want to establish our careers and finances before we link them

[@diamond2979]

see you know what’s up.. about 5-6 months of being with my bf we both had the feeling that we wanted to marry each other but we’re still waiting until about 5 years personally just because we’re both pretty young

[@faithstredwick1886]

For sure! My gf and I within 6 months were telling each other that we wanted to get married but we didn’t say fuck it and get married right then. We still waited 2 years to move in together and get a cat. It’s a process no matter what - dating is just as important as getting married.

[@Alis.archive]

My gf & I moved in together pretty quickly due to circumstance, but I wouldn’t change it. I knew I wanted to marry her pretty early into the relationship but neither of us are rushing it. We are similar, we want to have good careers and decent finances before we decide to marry or buy a house. We are committed to the relationship, and working on the things we feel will make it healthier if that makes sense.

[@radiationshepherd]

Lesbians who resisted the urge to actually physically UHaul, respect, ur our role models

[@HolldollMcG]

Lol "as a gay" 🤣 iconic. Best of luck to you both.

[@emeraldstarr7204]

Anyone else pick up when Morgan said they "put each other through situations to test their response"???? Like that's so manipulative???

[@cookiesandcream7668]

Exactly it's like pranks where its "messaging my boyfriend come over when hes leaving" "Seeing how my boyfriend will respond to someone flirting" "Seeing how my girlfriend will react to me telling his mom something rude" Yada, yada, it's just rude, manipulative, and causes more issues than it solves

[@emeraldstarr7204]

@@cookiesandcream7668 like I can't imagine trying to intentionally hurt my partner and possibly trigger them for a TEST. I'm fucking baffled.

[@cookiesandcream7668]

@@emeraldstarr7204 yeah 100%, its setting them up for sabotage, which is something you should never do,

[@FiddlebirdBlue]

Yeah I really, *really* don't like that. My emotionally abusive ex used to ''test' me all the time. I put test in quotes because it's abuse. Example: He once noticed I wasn't texting him 'enough', so instead of sending me a cute gif like a normal [healthy] fucking person, he let six hours go by and then showed up at my house livid that I had so completely forgotten about him that I had 'completely forgotten he even existed' and 'he could have died during that time and I wouldn't even have known or cared.' He yelled at me for hours. It was my day off and I'd been busily running errands all over the city, thinking how nice it was that he got to play videogames with his friends, not wanting to bother him while he was with others in an engrossing activity that demands focus. What a bitch I am! /s Also, dating for a long period of time is nature's situational test for relationships of any kind. Eventually someone will have a crisis or the camping trip will go wrong, and those kinds of non-contrived events are what let you see how you do together, or how they do when stressed/overtired/depressed/unemployed/grieving/etc.

[@emeraldstarr7204]

@@FiddlebirdBlue I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's why it enrages me for Paul and Morgan to tell their young adult audience that abuse is OK. Because that's what it is, abuse. I wish you all the best 🖤

[@madeby_mon]

If everyone got married after 4 months of dating someone, I'm pretty sure our divorce rate would be 95%.

[@haleytruslow7200]

Exactly.

[@Parrot5884]

It might be a bit lower if everyone was indoctrinated into believing divorce wasn't an option, which is 100 times worse.

[@spOOkytimes]

The 95% "not asking the right questions"

[@ONITru7h]

You know they'd just make it illegal to divorce...

[@girlwhomustnotbenamed4139]

@@Parrot5884 Yep. Or at the very least the remaining 5% would still have a ton of people stuck in loveless, sexless, unhappy and very likely abusive relationships because the same ideology that convinced them they had to marry after 4 months also taught them they can't have a divorce.

[@2007jjsmama]

Oh boy, I got married at 3 months of knowing him. Turns out he was abusive. . . 3 days later I got beat! Please take the time to know someone and see possible red flags.

[@healthyfitfun]

I’m sorry you went through that ! Hope you are doing better now💖

[@2007jjsmama]

@@healthyfitfun thank you, and yes I'm doing alot better! my son who I got pregnant with during all that, turns 14 next month. I moved out of state to get away from him, so its been 14yrs since all of that. I'm in therapy and doing well.

[@meghansullivan6812]

​@@2007jjsmama im happy for you and ur son! fuck ur ex. hope u continue healing.

[@AChickandaDuck]

I’m so sorry that happened to you

[@2007jjsmama]

@@AChickandaDuck it's ok. It made me so much stronger and I found a perfect little town to raise my son. And I learned the signs of abuse from being with him.

[@sarahadieel1264]

As a Christian, it makes me a little confused when people assume everything that happens in their life is a sign from God. It also makes me confused when they talk about agency in free will, but saying God has chosen the person for them. I think you choose your own person. People are in a mess.

[@Parrot5884]

It really is weird the way that they claim god has full control over your life and also that you have full freewill. The two things can't really coexist lol

[@elaexplorer]

The way it was explained to me is god has a plan and you have free will to follow it or not. As if they know god's will.

[@Parrot5884]

@@elaexplorer But then like...it's not god's plan it's your plan cause you're doing whatever you want WHAT

[@habibti320]

When i was in Bible school, God “told” 5 different guys that I was meant to marry them…so i guess God wants women to have multiple husbands 🤷🏻‍♀️ Telling someone that you heard it from God is the ultimate manipulative move in these circles

[@honkhonk3192]

@@habibti320 lmao I don't know if I find this disturbing or hilarious, it's probably someone inbetween.

[@diaryofanotdgirl]

My ex husband proposed to me on our FOURTH date 😱😳 when I was just 19 and he was 27. I was in a cult and a high control environment at the time. I said I wasn’t ready and so he proposed again on the FIFTH date. I felt pressured to say yes because of the advice I was being given at the time. I got married 7 months later and within a month I had got pregnant. Ten months after we got married my first son was born. 17 years and 3 kids and an extremely abusive relationship, we managed to escape that world. This video is terrible advice. I am now with a man I met 2 years ago and we both said marriage and kids are out the question. I couldn’t be happier. We have been living together now for around 18 months. He moved in when I had spinal surgery and was supposed to go home. However we both realised how much love there was between us and decided to have him move in with me and my (then) 14 year old daughter. She always comes first and if she didn’t agree I’d never have allowed it. Marrying young and within 5 dates was the worst decision. Please don’t do it.

[@Thatgeekycanadian]

Next please go over the Duggar’s rules about dating courtship and marriage. It would be so validating to hear it be deconstructed by a therapist since I was raised to believe in those rules

[@ED-ht6kh]

Yes!!

[@danastein8603]

This! 🙏

[@silmuffin86]

and the Bates too, with their obvious double standards between boys and girls

[@emmathe82nd]

Please Please please 🙏

[@k0rokin157]

I don’t think i’ve heard of those rules before. I mean I might have but I’m still curious

[@noone-y3223]

Paul straight up said that he never had this "magical love" for Morgan, he chose to "love" her after deciding in 4 months she is someone he can "glorify the lord with" 🤢 No wonder she threw up on her wedding day.

[@Luna-zs8rc]

SHE WHAT

[@kissarococo2459]

noticed how he gestured towards her when he said something about finding a deep dark secret? Did he mean again her loss of virginity?

[@gwendolynstata3775]

Isn't Paul one of them "reformed" gays? That seems like the kind of shit they'd spew at those gay "conversion" camps. I also know that my old cult had one of the high brass say, "I don't think my wife is my 'true love,' she's just someone who loved Jeebus and the church as much as I did and God blessed our marriage, I guess."

[@AChickandaDuck]

I get gay vibes from Paul

[@noone-y3223]

No knowledge of Paul being gay or going through any sort of conversion. You may be thinking of one of the partners of girl defined - however that was also just a rumour and he did heavily deny it.

[@caseyw.6550]

I've never seen anyone not experience a full body cringe when they hear P&M's intro jingle. Lol! Also, poor Morgan literally had to leave the altar to go throw up on her wedding day. But that wasn't God "speaking" to her?? Ok...

[@nellyls7872]

I tought the same, for me it was god saying please girl run.

[@brownhairedkid1]

Seriously, "the fallen Morgan show"!?!? 🤢 (Maybe I misheard, I hope this is a case of me having auditory processing issues, but the captions agreed...)

[@Rain-np7tk]

@@brownhairedkid1 the paul and morgan show I think

[@caseyw.6550]

@@brownhairedkid1 lol! It's "the paul and Morgan show"...but you're not wrong. They frequently discuss all of Morgan's supposed "sins". It's so awful. Paul has really made her feel like a horrible person for having sex before marriage. And of course he is suuuuch an amazing guy for being able to forgive her for that, right? Ugh...it's revolting.

[@silmuffin86]

wait what? did she seriously have to puke at the altar??

[@brittanyblue4495]

I married my husband within 6 months of meeting him, but almost 7 years later, he is still my soulmate. We're as close as a couple can be without being emeshed and codependent. He's just...my best friend. We're legit amazing together. That said, every single other relationship I ran into at full speed ended just as violently and abruptly. They were awful, and I had no business getting that involved with someone I barely knew. I got LUCKY that this relationship worked, despite being on the fast track. Its never happened before and likely never will, again. Because "We've known each other less than a year, lets be together forever" relationships are about as likely to work, as you are to be struck by lightning while winning the lottery. Thems the breaks.

[@LaurenElizabethYT]

As someone who’s extremely shy, introverted, and who has built a metaphorical wall due to emotional and trust issues .... after 4 months of dating, I’d guarantee a partner wouldn’t fully *know* me, because I know that I am simply not capable of fully opening up to someone within that short of a time frame

[@LivingItUp810]

You’re not alone. I think a lot of people would be hesitant. It’s just not enough time to build enough trust to expose yourself like that.

[@raspberryitalia3464]

I was raised on the same fundamentalist bs and it led to nothing but shame and narrowly avoided life disasters. I was being pressured to get married at 18 and become a military wife just bc I'd kissed the guy. Luckily, my faith had been shaken enough at that point to resist that pressure, but until I left the church entirely, all of my early adult relationships were scrutinized and criticized with the same "are you dating intentionally" mentality bc people aren't allowed to have experiences or mature in these communities. Maturity is viewed as a negative thing. I dated my husband for 8 yrs before we got married, so 😘

[@emmao1232]

just curious, is your husband the guy dated at 18, or did you find someone else? sorry if that's nosey I'm just really curious to know 0w0

[@raspberryitalia3464]

@@emmao1232 no worries, a different guy I met a few years later

[@katiaandrade5849]

Why is maturity is seen as something bad? Is it because it's easy to manipulate some who is immature?

[@raspberryitalia3464]

@@katiaandrade5849 that's likely the root of it. They idolize purity of body (viriginity) but also purity of the mind (Matt 5:27-28), so they praise when people stay innocent and pure for as long as possible, which is why they tend to fight against sex ed unless it's to scare people or promote abstinence. They don't value critical thinking bc that's considered doubting your faith. They just want people to have blind faith, trust the men who lead them (fathers, husbands, pastors) and don't think too hard about it or you'll be shamed. My mother has verbalized that she "grieved the loss of innocence" of her children as we grew up, not that we had lost our virginity, just that we grew up and matured at all. It's really gross.

[@Sparklecatofdoom]

Roughly the same story, except I did marry, and it was awful. Took years of work and many supportive people outside the church to realize that I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect (weird, right?). So happy you got out in time and married the right person.

[@catherinemccormick3184]

It's so strange to me that they seem to legitimately believe that two people being married after four months and having sex is a-okay, but two people who have been together for a year unmarried shouldn't have sex??

[@Singingtater24]

Yeah, that's a typical christian idea.

[@mayasanders1046]

Typical christian logic. It's completely normal to be an actual human. Forget what they say!!!

[@funnibeanboi1363]

They are raised to think that God invented marriage to make babies. When in reality marriage in ancient times (before Christianity even) is basically a tradition of promise and faithfulness to one's partner. Nowadays it's about money. Save the bucks and just love whoever you want, for however long you feel it.

[@pippin7016]

@Linny Lee Cecilia Crow i agree with the last bit, but on the first bit, i disagree. People, in my experience, don't need marriage to define if they believe the relationship will last. Sometimes, yes, marriage is about committing, but in recent years (and with common law marriage being a thing) it seems to go back to what it used to be about, power and money, just this time its on the couples terms. Also idk why i think this, but putting "idk lol" after such a well-written article either feels like a power move or undermining it and i cant decide which. (sorry if this makes no sense)

[@eliastalks7411]

Yeah something that really confuses me is why marriage in fundamentalist Christianity is seen as dramatically different from dating. Just because you have the piece of paper & monetary tie doesn't mean that anything about the foundations of your relationship changes... If anything it's the same but with more burden if things go wrong. And it's especially strange since Jesus was never married and one has to assume that the nature and structure of marriage in the early AD period was dramatically different from our own in the 2000s...

[@loureedpipes]

20:58 Paul and Morgan really said "sorry to the people that ended up in abusive relationships because of my advice 😔but I'm built different 🤩"

[@andasuca36]

I’ m a Christian and my boyfriend and I were head on hills with each other and wanted to get married fast. My pastor recommended us to date at least for a year to really get to know each other. We dated for 18 months before getting married and we are so thankful we did . Arguments started to come up later in our relationship and we were able to really discover more about our characters and personalities. We were able to put our feet on the floor and ask ourselves the question, will we be able to thrive in marriage and work in our differences and disagreements? There was no way we could have discovered those things in 4 months. We have been married for 15 years and have two children, we are happy and everything worked out well.

[@skydaddyissues3884]

“Love is just a choice, it’s not magical.” They ain’t in love, folks.

[@somewhat-blue]

Yup. Love sometimes involves choices, especially if you’re choosing to stick it out through a rough patch, but the idea that love is JUST a choice is bananas.

[@5050TM]

Eh. I think love can certainly be a choice.

[@DrDoerk]

Love is most definitely a choice..... every day my fiancée and I choose to love eachother, that's why it's so special

[@mayplaysgames7978]

It's both!!!!!

[@DrDoerk]

@@mayplaysgames7978 so true..... Love is definitely a choice, but it is also magical

[@nerdoftheatre]

My sister has been dating her boyfriend since 2015. They recently went from apartment to house together. They know they're getting married, but they want to be in a good financial spot before they get married. They aren't rushing into it because they don't have a need to. They don't want to. They want to be financially sound before they spend money on a wedding. My best friend is pretty religious. She's getting ready to move into her boyfriend's apartment. She wants to know how they will click before they take things even more seriously. They did a mini two-week run to see how they clicked together. Turns out, they really liked living together and they are getting ready to move into his apartment. I don't knock people that date shortly before they marry. But, encouraging people to jump into marriage is incredibly dangerous, especially given that EVERY relationship is different and hits milestones differently. (Also, Morgan, "ocd" is not an adjective! You don't have little "ocds," someone has ocd or they do not. Throwing the word around as an adjective is quite damaging to people who have ocd. An illness is not your filler word!!!)

[@emcarveth]

Yes!!!! ❤️

[@Goat.Cheese]

Thank you for pointing out the OCD comment.

[@harperbird1034]

Often, I'll tell people I have 'obsessive compulsive disorder' not 'OCD' because once you say 'OCD' people are like, "oh, yea, me, too. I love everything neat and organized." It's sad that people think this way, and there are not enough people well educated on the issue. When I say 'obsessive compulsive disorder', I think it really confronts people with the fact that it is a disorder, and quite often debilitating for those who have it, and not some little 'quirk' some people have.

[@Sarah-hc6kj]

Paul and Morgan: don’t be mean in our comments section because we aren’t mean Also Paul and Morgan: *commits well-defined religious psychological abuse*

[@rebeccat715]

Also: Don't be mean in our comments section because we aren't mean! Paul: If you disagree with us, you better have a good reason! The last bit sounded a bit rude and aggressive to me, which I would consider somewhere on the "mean" spectrum.

[@samuelsprings7245]

It is VERY challenging to make it into Heaven. Jesus made this clear when He stated that MOST PEOPLE ACTUALLY GO TO HELL WHEN THEY DIE (MATTHEW 7:13). The Lord loved you to die for you, but because He is totally holy, He does not advocate for sinfulness of any kind. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 lists a handful of the sins against God that prevent people from inheriting His Kingdom after death. When we actively engage in sin, whether we believe that its a choice or not to do so, we prove that we are not born again. Jesus says in Scripture that if we are not born again, we will NOT make it into Heaven (John 3:3). You MUST repent of your sins, change your ways, and obey the Father (Luke 13:3) if you want to inherit God's Kindgom after death. I encourage you to consider delving into the KJV version of the Word--it is the English text translated from Hebrew and Aramaic, and is the most accurate form of the Bible.

[@jewelfigueroa2595]

@@samuelsprings7245 Nobody is perfect, not even religious people. It is literally impossible to never make any mistake in your whole life, even after you become religious. Believing that you should be perfect once you believe in God or accept Jesus is setting yourself up for disappointment. With this kind of mindset, you are setting yourself up to be guilt ridden, shameful, and full of self hatred because no person will live up to the expectation of being this perfect human who never makes mistakes or makes very little of them. . You should not be promoting a belief that would cause others mental harm in believing what you say is true. Whether they know it is wrong or not, people will make bad choices and that doesn't mean they are a bad person or that they are going to hell. It is because of people like you that go around condemning others that give Christian and other religious people a bad reputation. . Plus even the KJV version of the Holy Bible clearly states that in John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." So if we are going off of The Bible here, you will go to heaven if you simply believe in Jesus Christ and that he died for your sins, knowing that you are a person that has and will make mistakes. The Bible states that God will except you as you are, a non-perfect person, and by simply acknowledging that you are not perfect enough to get to heaven yourself and that Jesus had to die on the cross so you wouldn't have to face the consequence of sin which is going to hell, you will “inherit God’s kingdom after death” as you say. . John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” The Bible states that it is by belief and belief alone, not by good works, that a person can go to heaven. What you are preaching does not align with what The Bible actually says. I encourage you to consider delving into the KJV version of the Word yourself and please take into account every part of the book you claim to base your faith around before condemning people to hell.

[@missmoxie9188]

True

[@Sarah-hc6kj]

@@samuelsprings7245 this ain’t the own you think it is. I see comments like this as abusive.

[@asksomeoneelse98]

I got married at 20 but whenever people ask if I recommend it, I say hell no.

[@lilianabacilio5812]

Did you date them long? Just curious bc Im almost 20 and Ive been w my partner for 4 years, and Id like to marry them, but Im considering waiting bc we're so young just to be sure

[@asksomeoneelse98]

@@lilianabacilio5812 Nope lol. Jumped in head first, no parachute

[@micas.6665]

@@lilianabacilio5812 I dated my ex for 5 years, from 19 to 24. Madly in love and wanting to marry them for a long time... But you grow up and change a lot in your early twentys, I got to know myself as a grown woman, and he wasn't the man a wanted next to me for life. I recomend waiting a bit longer, try cohabitating first for a while.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@lilianabacilio5812 at your age I don’t think there are really that many benefits to get married now. Waiting would be a good move, not because you’re unsure about the relationship but because it doesn’t really matter if you wait another year or two or five. I think it’s good to just be in the moment and enjoy each other now and know that you are committed to each other. You don’t need a ring and a legal binding document to tell each other that. But you will also not be able to predict what will happen in your 20’s. It’s a very challenging time and you will get to know yourself and your partner in new ways because both of you will be changing and growing. In my personal opinion I think it’s better to not be married for that time in your life. And marriage will of course always be an option in the future.

[@lilianabacilio5812]

Thank you guys for all the advice I really appreciate it. Ill have to follow it too because it makes sense and is really helpful

[@itsmamawolf]

My fiancé and I are Christians. We both were intentional about dating, and I honestly I knew I wanted to marry him pretty quickly. But we didn’t. We waited, until we were together for 2 years and then got engaged and we’re getting married after almost 3 years. We also are both waiting for marriage to have sex. We’ve never crossed a line nor done anything sexual. Just because we are together for a long time, does not mean we will cross physical boundaries? We know each other very well and that has absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s frustrating that dating for “too long” means you’re fornicating. It doesn’t. Some people aren’t ready for marriage right away, and that’s totally okay. Everyone’s different, everyone’s relationship is different and everyone’s timing is different. God will bless your marriage whether you date for 3 months or 5 years 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@kseniyarosina2357]

I am with you on that. If anything it seems to be a great filter - if one person is religious and abstaining from sex and another sees it as a no-go, perhaps marrying quickly is even more of a mistake - different values and what not.

[@makedamakestunes]

Literally, the BEST answer I’ve read throughout this entire comment section 🙏🏾👏🏾

[@issecret1]

Fornicating lol

[@AsiaAsiaJa]

BLESS you for this comment. I'm so sick of people constantly telling me 'oh if you date for too long, if you live together before marriage, you're not gonna be able to abstract from sex'. Like... no?? Maybe it's just a me thing, maybe I'm asexual or sex repulsed or traumatized or take your pick but it's just... really not a problem for me and I would really appreciate people at least *accepted* that and instead of replying with 'oh just you wait, some things you CAN'T refrain from, yada yada' like lol all it does for me is making me feel like a brainless animal who can't control her impulses and makes me resent sex whatsoever even more

[@AandM8]

I agree. There’s another point to be made. They continued to say “we dated INTENTIONALLY.” …okay? I hope everyone does that. What they mean by intentionally is that they wanted marriage. Not everyone wants marriage. That does not mean people can’t date intentionally. A person can date another person who has the same intentions, and that may not include marriage for either of them. Paul and Morgan almost imply that non Christian’s that don’t want marriage right away aren’t dating intentionally and are using people. This ideology runs rampant in Catholic communities (I’m Catholic). Sooo many young couples marry way too young just because they want to avoid the temptations of premarital sex. It causes a lot of harm, financial instability, spiritual turmoil, physical stress, possible abuse, etc.

[@aidanrichardson5191]

My fiancé and I had been dating for 4 years and lived together for almost 6 months. I advocate co-habitation and longer dating because I learned so much about him after the 2 year mark and living with him.

[@DrDoerk]

So you're not a Christian...... Paul and Morgan's advice was for Christians, not non Christians.....

[@mommyofkittens4809]

@@DrDoerk Paul and Morgan’s advise is terrible. This is how many people get trapped in abusive relationships. Aidan is being responsible and getting to really know who their partner is as a person.

[@DrDoerk]

@@mommyofkittens4809 Again.... there advice is for Christians.... if your not a Christian than don't listen, but if you are a Christian they have some good advice.

[@mayplaysgames7978]

@@DrDoerk nope

[@sarasthoughts]

@@DrDoerk just shut up. Religion has literally nothing to do with this. God didn't say "don't cohabitate before marriage".

[@tarabesque3328]

okay paul made a pretty obvious logical leap here: you absolutely can know that your relationship isn't working and that you don't want to be with that person long-term after 4 months, but that doesn't mean the reverse is true???

[@StylaPet]

This!! Lol I was like ummm yeah obviously you can know you DONT want to be with someone forever but choosing to be with them forever is a much bigger decision.

[@shystudyspy]

I’ve dated my boyfriend for 6 years, we’ve been living together for one year. We’ve now decided to get married and we’re thrilled about it. However, I don’t think I could have decided that sooner.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

Congratulations!!!

[@ksis86]

Congrats! I think living together first helps with the decision. There’s no better way to know someone than to live with them lol

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@ksis86 exactly! Living together for a couple of years is the best way to get to know each other before marrying.

[@ghostfrequencies]

congratulations! living together definitely helps imo!!

[@minjaarsic3327]

@@julieannelovesbooks I've found that even in a few days of living with someone (being in hotel rooms with certain friends in my case) you'll find out a LOT of new stuff about them and your relationship. I've never moved in with a partner, but I imagine that it only gets more intense when you're living together for months and years. another thing is that I've never felt like even moving in with someone within 4-6 months, let alone marrying them. I can't imagine that.

[@sammiegable6728]

My partner and I hooked up for 6 months before we even “officially” started dating. 2 years later we still aren’t married. I think it’s important to live life as individuals before you promise yourself to a partner or even children.

[@Luubelaar]

My brother-in-law and his lady have been together for over 30 years. They've never married. I don't think I've ever met a couple who are bigger "couples goals" than them. They have an awesome relationship and raised 5 kids together. If you are in a country where common law/de facto couples get the same rights as married couples, I see zero reason why you need to get married. Unless you want to.

[@empressmarowynn]

I was with my now ex for over a year before his abusive behavior started coming out. Before that he was so kind and charming but then a little after that 1 year mark he started slowly becoming more controlling, manipulative, emotionally and mentally abusive, and then eventually physically abusive. And even after I ended it he stalked me for 4 years. So yeah, sometimes you don't always "know" that person well enough in just a few months.

[@superforeigner]

"we weren't mean in this video, we just gave advice that could actually ruin your whole-ass life, and if it does we won't take responsibility because YOU were somehow not Jesusing correctly so it's your fault. sucks to be you I guess" wow thanks paul and morgan

[@sabrinaspellman4455]

That’s basically what they’re saying

[@pkmntrainerlilly5]

Here's a point that stuck out to me: I do not wake up every day and choose to love my husband. I just look at him (or think about him) and do; that's the easy part. I chose to love him when he leaves his dirty clothes all over the floor, just like he chooses to love me when laundry (mutually agreed to be my responsibility) isn't done exactly on time. Yeah, sometimes you need to choose to continue to love your partner, but that shouldn't be the default state.

[@secretariat4ever98]

I always think these short dating/engagement relationships is so they don’t have to wait longer to have sex. There’s no point in them ignoring that that is a major factor

[@DrDoerk]

No one's saying it's not a factor....... if you know your going to get married why wait

[@bluester7177]

@@DrDoerk for many reasons, to know your partner better, to know if your personalities match, if you can resolve conflict, to know if you actually want the same things in life, just having a feeling that you want to marry someone is not the same as having a successful marriage.

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

@@bluester7177 Also to know if both gonna function together in sex, imagine if one likes a normal sexual experience and the other is into BDSM, it going to be a battle,many people have divorced becouse sexual incompatibility.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Oh it absolutely is. Not the same sect of Christianity as these two, but I’ve heard of Jehovah’s Witnesses and how they would marry pretty quickly after they turned 18. I feel bad, they never get to actually learn or experiment, they just pick one person and hope that’ll be fine for the rest of their life.

[@sarraambrai]

I was raised IFB and I'm so excited to see what a therapist (that isn't my therapist - the more confirmation the better!) thins about this toxic garbage.

[@rachelppython]

What is IFB?

[@lasuisseamericaine1493]

@@rachelppython IFB is Independent Fundamental Baptist. There is also an off-shoot, the New Independent Fundamental Baptist (NIFB). People like Suris, Mr. Atheist, and others have covered toxic ideologies in the NIFB churches (especially their opinions on LGBTQ+ people).

[@kit922]

The other thing with dating for a long time is you get to find out how willing they are to work on themselves, to work with you on the relationship, and allow you to work on yourself.

[@Flareontoast]

Morgan: ... little OCDs.... Me: hello I get a medium OCD I did not order a large I didn't know it came in sizes Idk this always bothers me. My obsession with checking my things and cleaning is not a "little OCD" it's an anxiety disorder MORGAN

[@shy9130]

I’m late to the party, but this is the most underrated comment ^^

[@tiffprendergast]

Yup

[@MT-lk7qt]

OCD isn't a cute little adjective to describe someone's annoying habit. It's a fucking debilitating mental condition.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Thank you!! I made a comment already but being a year late, I’m glad someone else pointed it out

[@topturv528]

“If you’re dating and get married and something huge is revealed, then did really you ask the right questions?” Ma’am what “right question” could get you to know how someone reacts in very specific circumstances that you didn’t see coming? What if they’ve never been through that circumstance before? How would they know how to answer? And of course people would want to generally answer in a way that puts them in the best light if they have to guess how they would respond to that situation.

[@christinabrenneman7641]

Also..people can hide who they truly are in such a short time vs waiting that one year or more to know someone.

[@cyclesofstrength]

People lie.

[@caitlynhardy2264]

"uh excuse me, but we've been dating for 3 months now which means marriage is right around the corner so I need to know right now if you're abusive okay? So are you?" The abusive dude who clearly just struck gold cause you're talking about marriage: "no definitely not. I love you. Let's get married and have a baby."

[@sarahlilliancullen]

Hey babe, we've been dating for 3 months now, so I just wanted to ask if you ever used to hurt animals? Also you have to let me know your detailed financial history, every detail about previous relationships and friendships, your hygiene habits, any intrusive thoughts you might have, how you feel about each of your family members, your specific political beliefs, how well you wash out packaging before recycling it, your employment history, your medical history, a list of every porn video you've watched, if you've ever been attracted to children or animals or someone of the same gender, if you've ever been emotionally abusive or physically abusive to a partner. I need to know your specific career trajectory, how many children you want, how you will look after me when I'm sick, how you will react to a miscarriage or family death, exactly how your feelings will develop for me over time. You owe it to me to answer these questions completely. It's what God would want. You have to have a clear and objective view of your entire self, your history and your future.

[@mammoneymelon]

@@sarahlilliancullen "a list of every porn video you've watched" omg that's so funny tho

[@Aziara86]

Even the reasoning is BS. 'Get married so you don't get tempted to sleep with them' Bitch, my husband and I dated 5 years, we were both raised with purity culture, and didn't go further than kissing until we got married. It's called self control. Honestly, at this point looking back, it's easy to see that the world wouldn't have ended if we'd happened to sleep together before the wedding. I don't get the big fuss. We don't separate the rest of our lives into 'haven't done ___ yet' I was expected some cosmic shift, that I would feel different physically... nope, just lots of fun.... Roller coasters are fun too, but we don't make such a big deal about 'roller coaster virgins', or insist you gotta marry the person you're gonna sit beside for the ride...

[@Luubelaar]

My husband and I were together 2 years before we got married. Both church-going Christians, all that jazz. Didn't have sex til we were married. So it's definitely possible. However I've been an atheist for a while now and I've learned a lot in recent years. I'm not advocating for shagging everything that moves, but sexual compatibility is a thing, and having sex before marriage doesn't make you a bad person.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

This! Their only reason I heard for getting married after 6 months of knowing each other is because otherwise you might break the ‘no sex before marriage’ rule. Is you marriage then really based on love and commitment and a bond with God?? I don’t think it is. You can’t get married just so you will be able to have sex and say ‘we did it correctly, right? Very Godly and everything?’ You can’t convince me of that. To me this just goes against everything they ‘believe’ in. Doesn’t God say that you should take your time getting to know someone before tying the knot? Like years of getting to know your partner? They’re just cherry picking what rules to follow and what rules to just turn a blind eye to.

[@SharaiLunn]

@@julieannelovesbooks I 100% agree with you. Also, not because you ask God about whether or not you should marry a person means that He will answer you within 6 months. More likely, He will give you signs over a long period of time. The best thing to do is to date until your sure that both of you are right for each other.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@SharaiLunn nowhere in the Bible does it say that God works within 6 months 😂 only through dating and spending time together will God give you signs on what to do or choose. You will know if God is in the relationship, but you have to give it time. There will be a right moment but it’s not after 6 months. For some people it is, but you can’t just give that out as general advice. So yeah, completely agree with you.

[@hollowhorned6852]

Wait, I’m not suppose to shame people who have never been on a roller coaster? 😩

[@RebaMedia]

No wonder these kinds of people think LGBT+ people “choose” who they love, because they themselves apparently go around just picking whatever Christian in their church circle at random and “choosing” to “love” them just bc they wanna have sex asap Y I K E S Who’s destroying the sanctity of marriage now?

[@magnoliasilcox904]

As a bisexual Christian I can agree. People are definitely like this.

[@octopus4495]

Yes

[@Victoria-_]

Fr! It’s scary…

[@InfinityYamimi]

AMEN AMEN AMEN

[@charissa6648]

I believe your painting a very skewed picture with your assessment. Not only is it unfair, but it is the very same complaint your expressing toward Paul and Morgan. Please stop creating a caricature of human beings as it is demoralizing, disingenuous, and disrespectful at least in my opinion.

[@chelseav6184]

These two are the literal embodiment of adult-aged children.

[@claire3247]

My parents got engaged three months into dating and my mom was 19 and dad was 22 and they are ridiculously happy, but they have always told my sisters and I to not try to get married that young or fast because they’re story is an outlier.

[@radiationshepherd]

I love it when straight people UHaul

[@bigdiehlenergy]

His whole aura is... gross

[@lexihopes]

Yeah, everything about him screams "stay away" at me, and I've learned (luckily not through anything tragic) that those instincts of mine are pretty accurate... I'm not sure I agree that it's necessarily dangerous to speculate about their relationship using what is in front of us (body language between them, who she was before, things they've said), but I can see that viewpoint as well so I'll just say I hope she's happy and if she isn't I hope she finds her way out of the relationship. I wish him the best happiness he can find without hurting others as well...

[@funnibeanboi1363]

@@lexihopes Would it freak you out if I said she's technically never truly happy because she *stopped taking her depression pills?*

[@lexihopes]

@@funnibeanboi1363 It makes me sad that that happened. Though technically she could have moments of happiness while depressed (mine for instance is mostly boredom and emptiness, but moments of happiness can get through) and could have a persistent sense of having a good life worth healing for if not true happiness (I had a hard time getting on medication despite wanting to until I had something like that, personally, although that's a simplification of a nebulous concept and process).

[@Sparklecatofdoom]

He radiates abuser vibes for sure. Maybe not the violent type, but that isn't always the worse kind of abuse because it's difficult to get people on the outside to see. My heart hurts for Morgan

[@meghansullivan6812]

yeaaaahhhh he gives me big con man / narcissist / abuser vibes. not to make such heavy claims based on just his vibe but like..... his is really not good.

[@Allisonsaul]

It REALLY irks me when people refer to a person’s quirks or idiosyncrasies as “OCD”.... it’s not an adjective. And it really invalidates the life-altering impact ACTUAL OCD has on a persons life.

[@kristencurtis7031]

THANK YOU 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. So glad someone else noticed this. It's so harmful to say that.

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

Yes. Yes.

[@vanityyyyy]

Me too, my older brother has OCD and it has incredibly impacted his life. It's not some quirk or small obsession, it's a life-altering disorder. My little brother and I talk about this a lot too :(

[@Allisonsaul]

@@vanityyyyy I suffer from bipolar disorder and that’s another one people use flippantly to describe mood swings (“OMG I’m so bipolar, I’m happy one minute and sad the next” 🙄), so I really empathise. The misuse of “OCD” is by far the most rampant though. I physically wince when I hear it.

[@vanityyyyy]

@@Allisonsaul for sure, I totally agree

[@chloe1-2-3-4-5]

Mickey's shady faces as she watches this stuff is top tier comedy.

[@autumnmoonfire3944]

Sometimes I watch these videos just for the joy of watching her reactions to the horse manure going on!

[@LostSleepFoundSheep]

I dated my husband intentionally but I didn't know he had been lying to me about something that I felt strongly about, that he knew I felt strongly about and that we'd talked about several times, until we'd been dating for over a year, were engaged, and had moved in together. Marrying after 4 months sounds like a way to trap women. It's insanely easy to keep a secret for 4 months. That's nothing.

[@KayGee_yt]

Them: don't just go on cute dates and talk (while being non-Christian). Go on dates and talk (while being Christian) and everything will be perfect 🤗

[@mads2945]

Also, love Morgan's casual little "OCDs" like it's not a serious disorder people struggle to live their lives with. Love some casual ableism. (/sarcasm)

[@vanityyyyy]

I wish people would realize this too. I hear that phrase way too much... ugh. It's so normalized and it doesn't even make sense and makes light of a serious topic.

[@mammoneymelon]

nothing quite like making light of serious disorders that actually affect people 💜 i sure love mental illness not being taken seriously /s

[@BeckBeckGo]

My name is Morgan and after watching this, I’m considering changing it. There is a disproportionate number of bitchy and passive aggressive Morgans out there. I’m still miles luckier than the poor legit Karens out there.

[@rhodosu7937]

YEAH I noticed that too it’s really messed up how many people use mental illnesses as a figure of speech

[@gem9535]

I'm actually working on that myself lmao. Been saying OCD for so long that it's a habit, but I'm getting better at replacing it with things like perfectionism

[@cocolinabt]

Isn't it really harmful also from the perspective that you might get into marriage with a narcissist? 4-6 months is basically the love bombing phase. You might be in for a cruel surprise after that

[@spokenwordpoetries]

YES!!!

[@cjh5950]

That was my case; thankfully, I never married the man, though, but absolutely he was in the love-bombing phase, up until I moved in with him - he changed then.

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

If you watch their videos it’s clear he is emotionally abusing her

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

The first couple of months is the lust phase, I've been there, I tought he was the one for a lifetime, I'm so glad that now I can see who he truly is, he's not a bad person, he's just bad for me.

[@xoxCarlyx7]

EXACTLY. I was in a relationship with a covert narcissist for almost two years and we felt strongly at the four month mark that we should get married. His facade and abusive side did not come out until the last 4 months or so. I did not know about love bombing or anything prior and I am SOOOOO GLAD WE DIDNT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE WHEN WE WANTED TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE TO HAVE GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE WITH AN EVIL PERSON.

[@kaylaf7804]

If my S.O. and I decided to get married within 4 months of starting our relationship, I can 't even imagine what our relationship , if we even had one anymore, would be like. We faced some of our hardest struggles early on and I can't imagine going through that after making such a huge commitment. I love him, I will marry him someday, and we're in the process of buying a house. Regardless of where we are now, over four years later, I am beyond glad that we have moved at our own pace. I am still learning things about my person, despite how many deep conversations we've had. At four months, we BARELY scratched the surface on opinions, deal breakers, pet peeves, personal traumas...I cannot stand the information they're putting out to their younger audience. Your relationship is not meant to be because you're riding a high and are deeply in love four months in. It took me 6 months to even feel in love with my S.O. Just ugh.

[@emcarveth]

My experience to a T. Thank you for sharing!!

[@venilia]

dating "intentionally" aka courting is to date with the specific intent to find a spouse, rather than just... going out with someone cute and having fun and seeing where it goes. it's an enormous amount of pressure, especially on the woman, to make a quick choice. generally blessing/approval/permission is sought from 1. both sets of parents, 2 other fundie friends 3 both of their personal mentors, and lastly 4 their pastor before it can turn into an engagement. when all of those people are saying 'Fred is a great guy!' you can see how Fran's intuition or hesitations might be overridden. the dates themselves are encouraged to be more like accompanying someone on errands, doing church work together, etc than fun outtings because, rightly, they reason that it's hard to get to know someone when you only ever see movies and chat over coffee. flirting is highly discouraged (don't say anything you'd be ashamed for your grandmother to hear about!) and they will be chaperoned the whole time, even after they're engaged. first kiss of their lives -- or at least her's anyway -- should be at the wedding altar. technically guys aren't supposed to masturbate but it's a bit winked at in a 'take care of the old pipes' kinda way since wet dreams will happen, women aren't supposed to even know what a clit is much less how to get off. her father is seen as the guardian of her virginity, and at puberty she will vow it into his safekeeping until he gives her away (very literally) at the altar. the most important thing, women are told, is to make sure he 'shares your values' aka is homophobic, racist, anti-abortion, doesn't drink or do drugs, etc. and marriage is for life aka no divorce.

[@MrsPESLTutor]

Oof, this hits too close to home.

[@JasminMiettunen]

I agree on the first sentiment personally, but every sentence after that just kept getting worse. Also, finding a spouse should be fun, too

[@savannahaddison550]

it bothers me so much when they say “you know someone after 4 months, why wait for another year?” but what if you get to learn even more about that person in that extra time? obviously they wouldn’t know because they’ve never waited that long🤷‍♀️

[@Kimmie6772]

what bothers me about that is no you dont know someone after 4 months. you just feel like you do. at least wait a year or 2 to get married y'all. unless you have literally experienced everything there is to experience and have talked about all there is to talk about in the span of 4 months there's no way you can know each other that well.

[@tiffprendergast]

@@Kimmie6772 yup

[@DeathnoteBB]

It’s funny cause I don’t know if any of my relationships has even lasted a year

[@julieannelovesbooks]

When Morgan said ‘little OCD’s’ about Paul’s habits..... AARGHHHH that really grinds my gears. Just goes to show how uninformed they actually are

[@TaniDraws]

People once again out here treating OCD as cute little quirks like 'UwU I arrange my clothes by colour so OCD' rather than the often debilitating mental illness it truly is. People like this are part of the reason why people with real OCD aren't taken seriously.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

@@TaniDraws it’s like ‘he organizes his pen drawer by shape, what a fun personality quirk so OCD’ 🤮. It disgusts me when I hear people using ocd in such a light manner, instead of really seeing it for the debilitating mental illness it actually is. It’s not just shutting doors and windows and cleaning and organizing, but people just don’t seem to get it.

[@mcpheefan21]

Reminds of when I was in high school and people would call quick mood changes "bipolar".

[@mammoneymelon]

@@mcpheefan21 OMG that's so annoying or "haha adhd" because they got distracted (also your name made me laugh)

[@ingridrichter4681]

As someone who got out of that culture, these people use serious mental health conditions like some kind of a quirk ALL. OF. THE. TIME! I only recently realized how serious that can be.

[@gabeangel8104]

Did they seriously say that if you find out something bad about the person after you marry them it’s your fault for not asking everyone who knows them the right questions?!!! Wow!!! So in her world those people will not only know all the secrets the person has but will absolutely tell you the truth. Coz that is certainly not my experience!

[@spokenwordpoetries]

True! And some people lie to themselves and don't even realize that they are lying to you. It's really scary.

[@gabeangel8104]

@@spokenwordpoetries yeah, that’s also very true

[@megantaylor2871]

We got married after three years of no sex and “godly dating.” And guess what? Two years into marriage, we have found out: - my spouse has ADHD and autism. It is incredibly hard for them to live with a partner and coordinate with them. Changing anything about their schedule or habits to accommodate another person is SUPER hard for them. - she is non-binary trans feminine!!! We are both bisexual so this isn’t catastrophic for us, but it is something we would have both liked to know before getting married! - I have really bad codependency issues AND CPTSD. I did not know about this or address it before marriage. - We have trauma and physical health issues that make sex very difficult.

[@russianbot8576]

yoooo i was in a relationship for 5 yrs (no marriage) and realised i'm trans and that has changed over time too even since. we change, identity as a static thing is a kind of ridiculous standard. it may help to think about it that way: you couldn't have known, and she probably couldn't have either. it kinda just doesn't work that way... especially for us enbies imo. ime, i couldn't have _possibly_ known 13 years ago that i would take a full trans spectrum tour, but i have, and it's been with changes in worldview, philosophy, interests... gender is a weird thing, and no one (literally no one) is static forever. the idea that we just figure it out and we're done for good is the idea that we are static, in personality and identity, at least, we harden into a static _self._ there is no reason this should be the case, it's a construct, an expectation with questionable validity. (i do not mean an unstable self, with detrimental effect on life quality, to be clear...) also it can be really harmful to think we do just figure it out and now it's set in stone, tbh~

[@NatalieJ22]

I just have to comment to say the phrase “shiny object syndrome” made me laugh quite hard because it’s both hilarious and quite accurate

[@sadfaery]

I love this reaction. I'm a social worker who has spent 15 years working in the field of domestic violence (and I also have a background in anthropology), and this is such important information for people to learn and understand about relationships before making a permanent commitment to someone.

[@lapatti]

I find absurd that these two Christians think so lightly about marriage. For someone who's not religious, like myself, marriage is a signature on a contract and that contract can be annulled through a divorce but for them marriage is a sacred step, they do it in front of God and it's for life, no matter what, so I can't understand why they would rush into it. Only for the sex? I think they should be more godly lol

[@mammoneymelon]

YEAH non-religious people are more likely to see marriage as "just a technicality that's only important for legal reasons" so it's weird that they (paul and morgan) don't take marriage as seriously as a lot of non-religious people lmao

[@wendylederer367]

They don't want to have sex outside of marriage but their human and they want to have sex so they get married too young,

[@t_ylr]

I'll say this as someone who used to be a fundamentalist Christian. I know people who got married so they could have sex lol. Also, they believe that God has a plan for every aspect of their life including who you're supposed to marry. So if you truly believe that you found that person then you might as well go ahead and get married, and if there's any problems sort them out later.

[@wendylederer367]

@@t_ylr They only see things as black and white. I think that God is looking at the big picture. I think he cares more about us as human beings rather than weather we have sex before marriage. If you get married just so you can have sex that’s a recipe for failure. I think going into a marriage blind and trying to sort out problems later is not a smart way to enter into a marriage. I have a friend who is so Pious a hardcore Christian! she married a guy just because he was a “Christian” She wasn’t even attracted to him. Well he turned out to be a monster and let’s just say that things didn’t end well for them.

[@gem9535]

It's important to my partner, who isn't that religious, but it isn't that important to me. I'm much more passive in my affection, while they are very much sentimental, but I try. We ain't doing that white wedding stuff though, lol. It's going to look like us (mostly them), with gothic pastel and decorative daggers. Then we're going to do more my thing where we share our home and spend the rest of our lives together, because I don't need a wedding, just a happy partner

[@chrissym4130]

I think it's funny fundamentalist christianity can say God gives you free will, while he also micromanages your life and is supposed to tell you who to marry.

[@angelav4568]

Exactly. The higher power I personally believe in, doesn't do that shit. It's called autonomy.

[@hushpuppy698]

tHe lOrD wErKs iN MyStErIOuS wAyZ. No but for real you are so right. A big issue of mine with fundamentalist Christianity in particular is that it treats God, an allegedly all-knowing being, as though it is as myopic as the mere mortals who choose to represent it. I just have this crazy feeling that a being with the ultimate power of creation wouldn't give a f*ck about 99% percent of the piddly shit that organized religion pesters people on (like who they're having consensual sex with.) And a lot more about systemic issues...if it cares at all.

[@kenniefae]

@Chrissy Henderson Woah woah woah, hold on a second! Christianity absolutely does not teach that God micromanages your life, and whoever has told you that was misinformed! God is *not* in control of what we do or say, nor does he micromanage our lives. Each human being has free will; you can decide everything, from when to wake up to what to think about to what you set as your goals and dreams, right? God loves that about humans, and that's why He made us with the ability to choose! God is only aware of how our choices will affect us; He knows how our lives will turn out, no matter which decisions we make! I understand lots of people disagree with the Bible and what it teaches, but I always feel terrible seeing misinformation about my faith. 😔 God does not control humans. Rather, He sees how our choices will affect our lives up until our deaths. That is why He is all-knowing and not all-controlling. Have I been able to at least change your mind about that? 😯

[@marionyano9746]

God doesn't tell you who to marry. Not pre-destined. No such thing as "the one"

[@elan825]

It's also super dangerous and ripe for abuse. I've heard of several women who grew up very evangelical, who were told by guys, "God revealed to me that we should marry". And while I don't know whether the guys truly believed that (and just mistook their own feelings as signs of God) or whether they were being manipulative, it's scary to think these girls actually believed them. One was confused because two guys told her that, which is kinda funny. But the other one seriously considered marrying a man she was not attracted to, because he and his mom apparently had this revelation. That she herself never had that, she attributed to not being good enough with God. The brainwashing, that she should just marry a godly man, serve him, and trust in God, almost made her discard her own feelings and happiness for life. That's just horrible!

[@EmiltPaige58]

I am so excited! I love your content. It is important to address the radical fundies popping up on youtube. I grew up in a fundie environment and watching youtubers dismantle those ideologies was so cathartic for me.

[@ChasDawnMusic]

I went throught the purity culture stuff and I was raised IFB...I am seeing a therapist for all the messed up stuff I had to deal with. Love your channel and love that you cover this.

[@WishfulThinkingArt]

I remember when my older sister and her long-term boyfriend got out of college, my parents heavily advised them to live together for a while to find out if they were truly compatible. There were certainly some ups and downs for them taking that step, but they figured things out and they have a pretty good marriage because they took the steps to get to know each other so deeply. And it was because my parents framed their words as “advice”, and not “the only way.” My sister and now brother-in-law have always had agency in their relationship, and it seems like Christian fundamentalism robs people of their agency and individualism with these strict, shameful, and authoritarian rules.

[@tarabesque3328]

"there's just something so beautiful and wonderful about marriage" yeah it's the sex

[@harperbird1034]

That's literally the only reason people in fundamentalist religions get married, and often times WAY too young. Some, right out of high school. Edit: One of my friends from a fundamentalist religion got married out of high school. They divorced within a year.

[@ritavuvu4304]

Lol it's not just the sex because people have sex before but still get married so....

[@tarabesque3328]

@@ritavuvu4304 u missed the point lmao, the point of this comment is that you can have the "magical" thing morgan is talking abt without getting married. for these two and others who don't believe in sex before marriage, all that changed in the way they could love each other is that they were allowed to have sex once they were married

[@ritavuvu4304]

@@tarabesque3328 I see your point. Sorry if i was aggresive

[@chloeprazi3956]

This is especially harmful for asexual and aromantic folks who may not feel the same way towards others yet seek out close relationships, they might not notice the "signs" as what you said, which makes it harmful and easily makes its way to toxic relationships. Anyway, great video!

[@funnibeanboi1363]

I struggled with that lack of "feeling" for several years before coming out as asexual aromantic. My parents still think I'll "find the right person."

[@crystal95405]

I agree, I would probably assume that people like them don't know about asexuality. I'm asexual and greyromantic and thing like this can make ace people feel like they are broken or something is wrong with them. NO ONE DESERVES TO FEEL BROKEN.

[@rachelppython]

Always fun to see other ace people in the comments!

[@funnibeanboi1363]

@@crystal95405 Preaching to the choir... ASD, ADHD, and my asexuality make me a social pariah. I'm not broken, but I bet most of America definitely thinks I am.

[@hopebarnes1134]

@@funnibeanboi1363 you are not broken ♥️

[@revadiley8305]

As a heathen dating without Jesus, I can not wait

[@ED-ht6kh]

5 years in, still not engaged haha might never be 🤷 just don't care lol

[@AlbaMinor]

@@ED-ht6kh Yeah, not everyone wants to get married, that's absolutely fine.

[@-MaryPoppins-]

I’ve never met a narcissist that wasn’t intentional with its victim, so I’m SUUUUUUURE “dating” him was totally IntEntIonAl 🥴 he wants as little time to date so that she doesn’t catch on to the abuse.

[@kendelredding6603]

I just find it hilarious because God and the bible DO tell us to take our time and make sure we have the right partner and not to rush because marriage has so much weight. Funny they’re basing it off the word but aren’t even doing that.

[@julieannelovesbooks]

Cuz of sex. They just wanted to have sex so they got married. They weren’t interested in actually following Gods word because they had fleshly desires, and are using this sacred Godly bond to enact those desires. That’s what’s happening if you ask me.

[@EbonyPenmarks]

@Berry Blue I think the story about Jacob's daughter being a stolen bride is supposed to be a sad story, not an exemplar of relationships.

[@viridianacortes9642]

I mean, even when marriages weren’t all about love, engagements lasted a couple of years. Also, most people married within their village and small community, so they probably knew the people they married for some time. Idk, I personally don’t think these people are very smart.

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

In what part of Bible? Please.

[@jojo-xk8ri]

yeah cause they both just wanted to hook up

[@artiemauve7025]

Morgan looks so broken and drained, like in a lot of earlier videos she seemed full of life and cheer but now she just seemed to have lost that spark. Paul looks like a smug bastard who KNOWS what he's done and how he's successfully gotten Morgan under his thumb. I hope that's just a thought and not the truth.

[@MinnieCitty]

"If you have a differing opinion you better have a good reason!" .... how about scientifically based research into human behaviour disproving your anecdotal advice, Paul??? Is that good enough????

[@melaniemegan1]

And what would they consider to be a "good" reason?

[@S.J.Vanderwood]

Meanwhile it makes me kind of uncomfortable how Morgan acts like a 14-year-old 🤔 I don't want to be mean but she gives me that vibe.

[@lapatti]

@Linny Lee Cecilia Crow free choice doesn't mean that one can do whatever one wants and get away with it, though. Let's not cherry pick like they do. According to their believes, we will be judge in the end but not by them. What bothers me is that they act like they have the right to judge and condemn everyone as if they were God himself.

[@Parrot5884]

@@melaniemegan1 Biblically sound, according to the lens through which they read scripture. No matter how much evidence you show, unless it aligns with their own perspectives it's not gonna be good enough lol

[@Parrot5884]

@@S.J.Vanderwood Yeah, a lot of fundamentalist women have very teen-like behaviour. My personal theory (founded literally on just observation, I am _not_ specifically educated in psychology or anything like that) is that it's a combo of childlike innocence and "purity" being valued socially in their circles, and the fact that they have no autonomy. Even as adults, they have limited education and career options (sometimes restricted to absolutely none), they aren't allowed to manage finances, they have to wear what their husband approves of, be friends with who their husband approves of, sometimes even accept only medical treatment their husband approves of. The husband-wife dynamic feels a lot more like a father-daughter dynamic. They're essentially just infantilized to the point of not even seeming to have adult mannerisms.

[@DreamwithintheHeart]

So my relationship is what people call the epitome of "taking it slow". I met my husband back in the 8th grade, but grew apart after he moved a year later. We remet on Halloween night after we graduated high school and started dating. I was in college so I was really focused on studying, and made it clear that's what I want to do. We dated for a total of 7 years, and were engaged for 2 more years. We were also living together for 4 of those years, which some over lapped into the pandemic, so when we had a legit covid scare, we had to quarantine in a single room for a week (we had other people living with us at the time) By that point we both knew we were going to be fine together in the long run. Currently married for 2 years.(11 years in totals)

[@sweetarts445]

I watched a recent video of theirs for their 6 year anniversary I believe - they commented how incredibly hard their first year of marriage was. I think dating and engaged under a year definitely contributed to it.

[@lockmonster05]

When she called the honeymoon period the "shinny object phase" I died

[@coconuthead8616]

When Morgan comes to her senses, we having a hot girl summer

[@staceykersting705]

I'm still shook up over her arm tattoos! I thought that was taboo.

[@funnibeanboi1363]

Mind if I cut in if that happens? Hey, just because I'm an ace girl doesn't mean I don't wanna look hot! Lol

[@Selene_Rosara]

@@staceykersting705 yup. They discussed that in another video. It was just as toxic as this one.

[@kiera6326]

She would literally love that, and that’s the sad thing

[@ayajade6683]

@@staceykersting705 she wasn't raised in Paul's church pre Paul she had a music career, got tattoos, and was normal, etc. He's the one who brought her into the church via their dating

[@brittanywilcox7377]

My former husband was someone I dated and lived with for 3 years and then married for 3 years. He went from difficult and challenging to do abusive that I've had 3 hospitalizations because of how he treated me and the lasting effects of how much I suffered at his hand for the nearly 3 years we were married.

[@KilaIesha8]

As someone who's been with my bf for almost 11yrs, we were only truly compatible after the 3rd year mark.😳 That's when we were finally able to see each other past the trauma & not through it. Even still we've nearly broken up during the 8th year together. You need time to find out if this person is sexually, emotionally, spiritually compatible with you.

[@marim5620]

My bf and I have hit the 3rd year and I feel like we are just now getting into better sync with each other and we are starting to trust and move past our own individual problems that were affecting the relationship. It’s getting better with time and I’m so thankful for that.

[@KilaIesha8]

@@marim5620 💯 It takes time to know and trust each other, and the more time you have, the easier and happier you can be.

[@shailoedmerrick6751]

My boy friend and I have been together for almost 3.5 years now, and he's been there more for me than anyone I've ever known. He was there for me through the death of my grandmother (which was absolutely devastating for me), I was there for him through the death of someone who was practically his uncle. We've laughed until we cried, we've made each other cry (not on purpose, but we're human) we've held one another when we needed it and I laugh more with him than I thought possible. All this has happened in the 3 plus wonderful years of us DATING. We know we're gonna get married, we've known that pretty much since the first 6 months. We've also lived together pretty much since the day we got together (we were best friends for a year beforehand), and our relationship is the healthiest one either one of us has ever been in (we've had some pretty awful relationships in the past lol). I really dislike Paul and Morgan, lmao.

[@renoodle5554]

The wife literally looks and sounds so... empty. Like, I don't want to presume or speculate on another person's wellbeing, but... where's the enthusiasm? She talks about how much she loves marriage and how happy she is to have married young, but her voice is so flat through it? I don't see joy in her eyes? Or even, like, a little bit of happiness? Girl u good?

[@ThePunkHobbit]

A lot of people have also noticed this are worried about her. There’s speculation about emotional abuse from Paul and while speculation can be dangerous, there are genuinely worrying things that she’s said and shown. Part of it is there is an uneven dynamic because Morgan wasn’t a “virgin” when she met Paul and she had to apologize to him about that. Also she had a more “secular” music career and she gave it up for the relationship. It’s all really concerning and sad.

[@renoodle5554]

@@ThePunkHobbit oh jeeze, that's so terrible if the speculations are happening... I really wish them the best, and I hope she can one day find help and safety if she is in an unsafe situation. It's so hard because these communities will literally shun anyone (typically women, but also men) who decides to stand up for themselves and seek protection from a spouse or partner.

[@the_emmasculator]

Not to mention in some videos her speech is super super slurred, and she can't stop giggling. It is honestly concerning.

[@kiera6326]

You should have seen the earlier videos. Girl seemed high she was so energetic, so mischievous and also very PDA. You could see how annoying the husband found this.

[@cinnamonroll_ofdeath]

I've heard that Paul made her get off her meds for depression and/or BPD. But please take that with a grain of salt because I don't know if that's true or not.

[@lauren_bri]

“Guyssss. Love is a choice!” ... meanwhile, my LGBT+ ass over here: Wowwww. Never heard that one before 🙃 Hold on -let me just wake up and make a different choice. lol you’re funny.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

Same though. I left my abusive white husband for a sweet and loving black woman and I never looked back

[@NickKzig]

Hell, I wouldn't if I could 😆 Honestly though, people are ridiculous, and even saying romantic love is a choice is... really sad

[@emmathe82nd]

Saaaaammmmeeee

[@butasimpleidiotwizard]

@@NickKzig I mean it kind of is though? You don't fall in love with every single person you're attracted to, you have to choose someone from that group who has the most potential for you to fall in love with and then hope they feel the same, there are a lot of things about love that are choices, I just don't think those are what Paul and Morgan are referring to

[@A.H._]

THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING! It’s the same old tiring rhetoric that “oh, but you’re choosing to be a lesbian! Love is a choice! Why don’t you choose to love a man? Why are you choosing to SIN?” Drop iiiiitttt.

[@bobbii]

1. Marriage is just a piece of paper. 2. Morgan is brainwashed. She's a talented singer and performer but that's not "godly" so she quit when she got with Paul. I feel so bad for her, but she also annoys me lol

[@emeraldstarr7204]

But Morgan herself is not blameless because she too now spreads and toxic and harmful teachings.

[@bobbii]

@@emeraldstarr7204 agreed

[@cabpeer5963]

Actually, her record label fired her when they found out she and Paul were engaged. They wanted her to have an image as the hot single girl, which sounds ludicrous but I've heard of that happening in the entertainment industry. But I do think their relationship has other issues.

[@MeganSmith80]

If marriage is just a piece of paper, then why not just get the paper, if that's all it is. The thing is it isn't. It's not about love or commitment either. It's about legally binding you financially and in other ways to another person. You can go on your spouse's insurance, make health decisions about your spouse, among other things, like file your taxes jointly. You should be fully committed to get married before signing this document. But if you aren't fully committed, that's ok too. I don't care if you divorce and remarry 100 times. My point is that piece of paper is a legally binding document.

[@bobbii]

@@cabpeer5963 I feel like she could have still made something out of her singing if she'd kept going.

[@lilcherrybombshell]

Social worker here. I am so glad I found you. I swear we're channeling one another. I was introduced to Paul & Morgan, the trad wife, and girl defined in 2020 and am absolutely appalled by their messages. Thank you, thank you, thank you for using your platform to combat these very dangerous views!

[@Runaoftheredapples]

"You can only love a person so much when you are dating. There is just something very beautiful and wonderful about marriage" ....the joke is too easy to make

[@elleeff5118]

I love the distaste in Paul’s voice of “we don’t need to drag this out more-4 months, 8 months, a year.” Oh my god you poor sweet little idiot.

[@skydaddyissues3884]

He’s like “ok I dated a girl for four months. I DESERVE SEX NOW.”

[@tiffprendergast]

@@skydaddyissues3884 ya

[@tiffprendergast]

Yeah the way he speaks bugs me

[@blueismylove3128]

God forbid you NOT have a time limit of how long you can date someone for.

[@hannahsheehan9322]

I am an atheist who was raised Catholic and fell into some fundamentalist Catholic young adult groups in my early twenties. A few years after I met my bf, a friend from that group started seeing a guy. Me being a good person and happy for her said “omg so exciting how long have you guys been dating?” And she responded with “well we are courting which is like dating but it’s very intentional” I felt like responding “right and we are just fucking around”. They broke up a few months later, me and my bf are 4 years strong and got an apartment together a year ago. Marriage does not equal a valid relationship so there is no need to rush marriage, which is a realization that comes with maturity.

[@SkepticalCryptid]

My mom always said, time is your safety net. We bought into a lot of purity culture BS when I was a teen, but my mom always wanted her children to take their time getting to know someone before making a commitment and I'm so grateful for that, otherwise I'd be divorced by now.

[@MoviesMoveMe]

LOLLLLL your expressions and hand gestures alone would've been a perfect enough response to that video, but then your words were like DAAAAAMN!!!! Talk about hitting the nail on the head!!!! There were several times you spoke when I thought you were gonna drop the mic and walk away.

[@Lillith.]

I have been in a relationship with someone for 2 years and they were great. So great in fact that 3 years after our relationship ended, they are still my best friend. We just found out that we are not people who should be in a relationship with eachother. We are both people who drop everything to help people we love, we feed of other people's emotions and we both have chronic depression. We would be a mess.

[@Sam_371]

"you didn't ask the right questions" do they not think that lying is a thing?? Like you can ask the right questions and still not find out the truth

[@ashtrologytv]

Classic victim blaming

[@DrDoerk]

I mean they obviously didn't look hard enough to find the red flags so....