Lifelong Partners or Marriage? Why Women Are Constantly Scrutinized for Not Being Married

[@lynne709]

The only thing that bothers me about people who choose not to get married is sometimes they choose to devalue marriage by saying it’s just a piece of paper. Nothing could be further from the truth. If it was just a piece of paper you would just sign it. I’ve always respected that Loni makes it clear that although marriage isn’t for her that doesn’t mean the institution of marriage isn’t valuable. I wish people would just admit that they want the freedom to choose when and how they exit a relationship and marriage doesn’t allow that.

[@masonpatrices]

Facts

[@tonicrawford375]

Yesss 😊

[@purplecowmovement7677]

True

[@Pushi_97]

There is alot more people who are married that judge non married people, than the other way around. Married people are not pressured into to getting a divorce while women are heavily pressured into getting married.

[@binibini7975]

Great point!!

[@EmorettaRobinson]

It's Jeannie asking "Why did you leave that camera on her for so long" that got me. I'm glad they had this discussion. I'm not married and never have been. I'm not against it. That's just not something that has happened.

[@mndegrassi8]

I get why some don't want to get married. What I don't understand are the ones who say they don't want to do it because "it's a huge commitment", meanwhile they'll have children whilly nilly with anyone. Is that not a bigger commitment? 🤔

[@mimose5747]

Add to it that children are a for sure, more permanent commitment, at that!!🤦🏾‍♀️

[@heytheresunshine9405]

Sis we can pass the collection plate because you gave the word from on high!

[@Shayvideos1]

I agree.

[@genwilson7741]

Lets be real, a lot of kids out here are “surprises” because their parents were either too lazy or not educated on safe sex to prevent the pregnancy. Then 9 months later there’s nothing to do but man up and take care of your new child.

[@RTA6226]

@@mrs.fredrick_ AMEN!

[@afiana3930]

This is one of the most intellectually stimulating conversations The Real has had. I love it!!

[@a.sydney5036]

Really????? Ok, maybe on the real.

[@honeymoney23]

It really is

[@DJ-fk1ci]

This is facts. I’m a male in corporate America and i have noticed how those who are married (both men and women) seem to be respected more. They even are the ones usually promoted and in positions of power. And once you add kids in the mix it’s a whole new level.

[@-.a9942]

Yes America is a family oriented even when they say they are not. You’ll have more support of you are married and have kids, choosing the opposite is just going agains their ideal

[@sheenabullock6399]

it happens globally, I know of CEOs who have been told by their Boards that it looks 'bad' that they're not married and they need to get married because it'll help with the optics.

[@TheDlockett1]

It’s because you literally have more to work for, a person that’s married with kids and is truly committed has a drive from beyond this world. The pressure builds diamonds, those that ARENT willing to truly commit don’t want to get married because the pressure scares them but if we didn’t do scary things we wouldn’t be human. Learn from others mistakes, don’t let them beat you. Marriage is a contract to literally fight for your love to give yourself purpose other than your own.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

If you consider the fact that most married men have only the money their wives don't spend, you'll see that you're actually better off. I haven't seen it recently, but stats say married men make only about 40% more than single men. Even just the cost of food alone, a relatively thin woman still is about 2/3 of a mans weight, so his costs for food is 66% higher, giving him a loss of over 20% just in that area. Women spend on average about 4 times as much as men. 80% of all purchases. We can assume the man's wife will spend at least another 20-30% of his income, so his pay raises will never ful!y offset his expenses while being married. His pay increase of 40% will cost him about 80%, conservatively.

[@ms.krys2835]

We have to normalize people doing what’s best for them. Everyone doesn’t have to do the same thing and live the same life. Trust me I know plenty of people who are married and miserable. It’s sad that women get judged if they aren’t married and sometimes if they don’t have or want children. It’s ridiculous.

[@victoriajohn7079]

Exactly, we need to normalize people minding their own business and just stop judging people.

[@TlhomphoDitedu]

I think most of us want companionship. It just doesn’t happen for everyone by a certain age. I think we’d all be better off if we admitted that life didn’t go according to plan… that maybe the right person was not met… for example. It happens. It’s mostly out of your control. And some people are less willing to settle than others

[@justafanfave228]

Not settling makes sense because anyone can be married. There is not a shortage of dusties out there. However, not everyone is willing to settle. I ain’t settling but I am still young sooo… 🤷🏽‍♀️ Better to marry late or not at all than marry wrong.

[@melmel7011]

I agree that most of us want companionship, but some of us are able to separate companionship from marriage. Its ouk to want companionship but not marriage

[@alextroy9202]

I want companionship. But not really married

[@clove8763]

I'm not settling for Jack!!! LMBO!!! Only kidding...No, wait a minute, no I'm not! 😁

[@adamgranger5653]

My grandma following her divorce from my grandpa after being married for 25 years moved on and was able to have another 25 year relationship with her loving significant other but they never married and it didn't matter to me growing up cause he was a bonus grandpa that i was lucky to have and we cherished him until he passed away in 2017. My grandma misses him every day and is sad to not have her best friend with her anymore

[@TheRealDaytime]

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[@anthonygholston2468]

I’m sorry for your lost. I lost my Granddad to covid in 2020.

[@Shayvideos1]

@@anthonygholston2468 ❣❣

[@shanerob681]

I agree, there is too much pressure to find someone in order to complete your adult life. And life is not always better after you get married and have children. There is no guarantee that you will be protected and happy or that you will have a healthy close relationship until you die. People really need to be comfortable alone and know themselves and what they want out of life before bringing anyone else into their life. When the focus is just locking into a commitment, you can very easily find yourself rationalizing staying in a bad relationship. If the relationship does not work out, you need to feel good enough about yourself to move on and know that you can still be happy single. Otherwise you’re likely to rush into another relationship to avoid being alone and you’ll probably miss some red flags.

[@tvkid2012]

If you want to get married, then do so. If you do not, then don’t. Simple as that. If you want to be single, be single. People are gonna talk regardless so let them. The only opinion that really matters at the end of the day is yours. It is your life. Be happy, and do you 💕

[@arbsan8366]

I love this whole discussion so much! I love how Loni makes it a point at the beginning of her dating to let it be known she doesn’t want to be married and I’m so happy she found someone who is on the same page!

[@rifatherapper]

I appreciate the diversity of this conversation, especially Adrienne’s last statement about divorces connected with religious marriages to avoid sinning.

[@hiboahmed8876]

I missed Jeannie’s energy and commentary. I’m so glad she back

[@ForeverGodsGirl03]

@@fakeaccount704 are they not recording any new content?

[@hiboahmed8876]

@@fakeaccount704 pretty sure this is new content

[@pixigirl999]

@@fakeaccount704 but she has no belly. She’s been pregnant the entire time she was on there this since prior to her maternity leave. They never recorded in the studio last season so how could it be old? I am confusion.

[@cacinabell3369]

@Rachel Crawford well, I thought that too at first. But, then I thought about whoever handles their KZbin channel postings, and they do it backwards. They would show the least important or wait til the end of the week to show Jeannie back 😂

[@candicepetgrave3147]

@Rachel Crawford actually I saw a video and she said “ when I was pregnant “ which would indicate that she’s back

[@maryihezie1190]

Loni is so on point! Preach! You start making mistakes because of the pressure.

[@katyarnold6757]

I agree with Loni Love you shouldn't be pressured into getting married. Marriage is a business legal contract with no guaranteed that the marriage will be successful.

[@HeyTitouvideos]

Exactly ! When I started thinking about getting married, I promised myself I would read the whole section about marriage in our "civil code" (I am from France) to understand, beyond love etc, what I would be stepping into. And if I still agree with what I read, we would go through it. I am still not done reading but it is NOT a commitment to be taken lightly. We as women are only taught the romantic side of it or the "big day". There is a whole life after that day. In France, most people I know don't care about being married but value their relationship as it is and are super committed, and I think it's great that we have that choice

[@colletampechi9030]

I think people have to let people do what they wanna do,if marriage is your thing then go for it,if is not then enjoy it,I think people try to tell people what to do in their life always ,marriage is not a joke,I respect that institution so much and it is a beautiful thing,I'm not married and I don't think I will ever be and I'm good.

[@wendyfan8071]

Same😉

[@TheMeloettaful]

I'm not married myself, and have no children of my own. Though I know it irritates my dad because he wants MORE grandkids. I know I would be a terrible wife, and wouldn't be able to financially support kids either. It's just not appealing to me. Me and my mom are planning a Hawaiian cruise for 2023. You think I'd be able to do that with kids running underfoot and a husband to cowtow to to ask if it's even ok to do that?? No ma'am! Luckily my mom doesn't care about that with me and doesn't pressure me at all. The only thing about marriage that I like is when I'm invited to the wedding ceremonies where there's free food and drinks lol 😂!

[@colletampechi9030]

@@TheMeloettaful and its OK,enjoy ur life dear,the problem is people except too much from people,and that's not fair ,as long as ur happy that's what matters.

[@cjfit6292]

Marriage is not for everyone! Marriage is hard and not anything to aspire to and this is coming from a happily married woman. There are so many other things in life that can make you feel complete. Enough already people.

[@sarahs-di3jc]

25 year partnership vs. 25 year marriage. What makes marriage harder?

[@Officialgaella]

@@sarahs-di3jcFreedom!! Too many ppl in marriage forgive more they husbands/wife for cheating , beating ect… than ppl in relationships. From ppl around me I saw they easily forgive them than if they were in relationships. That’s something not everyone want to do if they do dirty!!!! That’s why we prefer freedom of marriage than marriage

[@missindependant3630]

This show means so much to me and the fact that you’re replying to comments finally is so nice to see!!!

[@Tan87ful]

Agreed 💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@meaganbianca2978]

People think I’m bitter with men because I say I rather be on my own. Truly not. Just aware of my purpose that I set for myself and want to focus on that

[@genniferhayes-brown6564]

We can normalize not wanting to be married only because we have to normalize that this is the world and as a Christian we live in the world but are not of this world. His took the rib from a man to make woman so it was meant for us to desire that partnership . If the Bible is not your blueprint for living than live your life the way you want.

[@taliavelazquez358]

There are Christians who desire to be single, some of the greatest believers were abstinent men and women.

[@LMLification]

It is far better to be single than to have a man or a marriage when there are so many people who stay might stay married for decades but never fully know the person or end up with someone who evolved into something awful in terms of character. Learn how to love yourself and stop thinking you need someone to feel complete. Not knocking marriages and partnerships, but they are not necessary to have a complete, fulfilling life. The quality of relationships in life is far more important than the quantity.

[@mariansalmon4400]

Thank you ladies for what you said not to pressure women

[@ssmith6963]

I had a female relative say to me a few months ago that she hoped that I would find a guy to marry to take care of me. It was beyond rude and insulting. She told me a few years ago she saw me getting married soon. The problem is with her and not me. I think she is projecting her own issues. Why are we so vicious to each other? We look at single people and see them as something that needs fixed. It is really sad. Stay out of my life please.

[@colletampechi9030]

That's real sad,and why people assume that coz someone is not married is not happy,or I lack something,live ur life dear,and don't let anybody tell u how to live it.

[@ssmith6963]

@@colletampechi9030 Thank you. It has been hurtful. Take care!

[@makreviews2146]

I understand exactly what you’re saying I had a family member whom I now no longer communicate with say to me, randomly might I add, that they will “pray for me” because according to them I’m over 30 and not married and should be. He then said he believes women should be married by their late 20s, his words not mine. It was beyond disgusting, insulting and inappropriate. I’d never expressed anything about marriage or even a desire to be married nor my dating life to this person so it was also a shock. Mind you, this is a person whose been divorced twice and on his third marriage so might have been trying to project his insecurities on me. I don’t tell anyone how to live their life and do not want anyone trying to push their sexist and outdated standards/rules about relationships and marriage on me.

[@ssmith6963]

@@makreviews2146 We have so much in common. My relative is divorced too and I have never expressed my thoughts about marriage or dating life. I have never told her how to live her life but she has always been opinionated and bossy when it comes to mine. I no longer communicate with her anymore because it has been too stressful and hurtful. I don't need judgment in my life. I want freedom from the toxicity and it has been peaceful but it also has been sad to say that about a relative too. Keep doing you and keep finding the courage to stick up for yourself.

[@kaylenejantjes8113]

Damn, I feel you on this! People be talking outta their asses thinking single people are less than and all that crap.

[@debraalleyne1760]

They can't lose Jeannie. She makes the show watchable.

[@zuiilaa]

Ppl questioned George Clooney all the time. Some ppl thought he was secretly gay. They always asked him about his relationships in interviews.

[@ufink]

I think ideas such as these that state there’s no benefit to marriage are luxury beliefs. Loni, Jeannie, Adrienne, Garcelle, these are women that are in an economic class that can afford them to live out such ideas without much repercussions. For you the average income earner. Don’t buy into such beliefs. They don’t benefit you in the long run. A lot of us need the legality and the security that comes from marriage and the stability it provides. It’s good for your mental state, for your children, and for society in a whole. Be careful what ideas you adopt. These people on TV live very different lives from us. 😘

[@saramatthews7159]

Tell that to many women who have been in long abusive marriages or married simply because society pressured them to. Every marriage isn't a fairytale and relationships are hard work.

[@mgeijho]

Your line of thinking is the very reason so many women in poor communities are in abusive marriages because they need a man to take care of them.women are beat up and/or killed daily by their partners because they feel like they have nowhere to go.people are cheated on and get AIDS because they feel stuck in their marriages because they feel like they dont have the freedom to leave.im not rich,but id rather spend my life single than unhappy in a marriage.

[@ufink]

@Sara Matthews no one is saying it’s a fairytale.. and no one is saying succumb to pressure. You don’t have to be in a marriage to be in a bad or abusive relationship. Demonizing marriage is not the answer.. Neither is denying the benefits of it.. Marriage is not the cause of bad relationships.. The people in it are.

[@saramatthews7159]

@@mgeijho exactly

[@kaylenejantjes8113]

This is a very interesting thought. Thanks for sharing. There are unspoken benefits that comes with being married person.

[@Desi-zz4gb]

I think people just need to drink water and mind their business. However, if you know marriage is what you want, get with someone that's wants that too

[@divinerae4966]

This conversation could've been the entire show, I enjoyed it. Women, we just have to know who we are, know your purpose and don't fall into this expectation, of what the world says. You are looked at differently when you are not married or even when married, but then you don't have kids. I just don't regard, people's expectations of my personal life🤷🏽‍♀️.

[@Tan87ful]

👏👏👏💯💯💯

[@rachelsmith5643]

lol I thought I was the only one who didn't care for that Jagged Edge song and didn't find it romantic! Totally agree with Adrienne.

[@gigilamoore2656]

If two people are happy unmarried, then so be it. If they would be happy married, then so be it. None of anyone's business.

[@makreviews2146]

I think the key to this at the end of the day is each couple and individual should not be judged, have pressure put on them or anyone telling them what they “should” or “should not” do in terms of getting married or not. That is the business of each couple and individual and no one else. No one has the right to tell people what they should do that is their choice.

[@RTA6226]

I like what Jeannie said, "You all have been together so long. What's going on?" My answer, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!?" As these women say, WHY do they bother women and don't pressure men?

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

Marriage all the way with God's blessing and to be right with God and to answer my vocation of marriage. God please give strength to all single Catholic/Christian women and men who are looking for their future spouse but are having a difficult time especially in today's society. Please help us to see and use our singleness as a gift and give us strength to not settle for your very best. Singleness is not a lifelong vocation and I pray that people will realize this. Amen 🙏❤

[@kaywired2004]

I have been reintroduced to The Real and these four ladies are my group of friends in my head , seriously I find my self watching these videos two times. I wish they could stay but I am happy we have these videos to go back to. The conversations the honesty the diversity of this show I love it. Bless them all.

[@CJ-dg3bm]

And it's soooooo annoying. They act like if a woman isn't married in coupled up they're some dried up lonely spinster and they just don't do this to guys. The last two years I've been getting this from my family and it's really annoying and sexist and disappointing behavior. Dude, if I want to die single it's my business especially when I haven't expressed to you that I am wanting a man! Geeze! If you want to have a relationship or a marriage do it but it's also okay if you don't want to. Maybe you don't want to have to check with someone else before you make a decision, maybe you haven't met the one and you don't want to settle, maybe you just don't want to be married and your life is full without a partner...all of these things are normal and acceptable just the same as there are some people who want babies and others who absolutely do not want children. Normalize choices and worry about your own lives.

[@SagittariusQueen1980]

My aunt has been with her man for almost 40 years and have 2 kids, they're fine! Marriage should be up to the couples, not everyone else. Not everyone wants to be married and that's fine. I'm married to my husband for 17 years, let couples do what's best for them. Not being married doesn't make you worthless.

[@Ronsayy]

I love listening to this conversation.

[@marcellacollins4697]

Thats up to the individual some people just dont wanna be married and was asked to many issues responsible

[@Shalayah2010]

Did we forget that not that long ago women literally depended on a man for their livelihood. So yes, women are going to get criticized because we aren't that far removed from that era... shoot, women around the world still depend on men and marriage to live.

[@rudiannwildgoose-laing4629]

If you get married and have a family as a women you a deemed limited in your flexibility to take on additional responsibilities in the workfore. If you are not married then something is wrong with you. Damn if you do, damn if you dont.

[@shellyedwards2875]

Thank you. So much pressure on women it's too much , yet men don't get that pressure. Live your life genuinely ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@cdale211989]

It is not a “new day” the Word never fades away. Marriage cuts out a lot of confusion and is the framework for a healthy family.

[@ashunt29]

I believe in what the Bible says. I messed up a lot from fornicating. Loved some wrong people, gave my body away to some bad people, and my self-esteem got low at one point. They are on a big platform. I'm sure they don't want to step on toes but if you believe in a higher power, you know what they are saying is going to lead a lot of people down the road to destruction.

[@glencoco8751]

This!

[@Exploringwithisha]

Yeah i miss Tamera being a Christian influence on this show , the rest of what the others say who claim to be christian are rarely biblical

[@bren7067]

Marriage is not a bandaid that will magically make a person treat you right. Everyone doesn't follow the Bible, and that's ok. So many people get married because they feel like they are supposed to, and they are miserable because they didn't want to get married in the 1st place.

[@ashunt29]

@@bren7067 I'm not married nor am I fornicating either. No, I'm not saying everyone has to be married. Yet, if a person is having sexual relationships, it is better to marry.

[@justhereyeah1112]

@@bren7067 me again lol it’s true everyone doesn’t follow the Bible but that’s not okay, marriage was designed by God. Doing marriage outside of his will falls apart that’s for both Christians and non-Christians

[@reeboo43]

Well my Mom told me at 8 our neighbors had been in a relationship for over 20 years when the man died the family wouldn't let the girlfriend come to the funeral and she couldn't do anything about it she got no pension...Also I wanted to do it God's Way we ain't laying together unless we where married

[@Tan87ful]

Wow. Smh

[@ashleyrogers1930]

Y'all do know George Clooney was married before Amal right. He had been divorced for years though.

[@lynne709]

He was also questioned about getting married all the time before her met Amal so I don’t know what the ladies were talking about.

[@tonicrawford375]

Not judging. I think some (keyword:some) ppl are just afraid of that level of commitment (marriage) and one reason being, the possibility of divorce, there’s always a possibility, right? I also believe some people don’t view marriage the way God does because if so we wouldn’t be ok with doing everything outside of marriage that God said is ok only within marriage. I been there and done that. Brief testimony, I start to feel bad for having sex outside of marriage, and giving my boyfriend all the benefits that I knew deep down inside only my husband should have but I was in too deep and what helped me change my mindset is when I kept talking to God more and more. God start showing me my worth not only as a wife some day but even in other areas. I had to change my mindset because of the commitment I made to God since I said I was Christian and with his help I did. I’m now married. Marriage is beautiful, challenging and rewarding especially with the one God ordains.

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

@Toni Crawford Love this! God Bless you and your marriage 🙏❤ I know I am called to marriage and closer to turning 30 but I will hope and pray for the one God has for me to come into my life soon. I really would love to gain a best friend and share my life with someone who has the same values as me (Catholicism)

[@tonicrawford375]

@@nicoleyoshihara4011 Aww thank you and I pray that God bless you with your hearts desire. He knows the perfect time 🙏🏽❤️

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

@@tonicrawford375 You're welcome!^_^❤ Thank you so much ^_^ Happy Thursday!^_^❤

[@heatherlynsey3092]

I have to say that I’ve also heard people grill men over not having a wife. Especially my brothers, they are all in their 30s and I constantly hear people asking “why haven’t you found your soul mate yet?” or things like “you better hurry times wasting!!”. So it does go both ways!

[@TheMeloettaful]

My younger brother is closing in on 30 and is still single. I really don't think he will ever get married. Me and him are similar in this. He is even more introverted than I am and would rather spend time with his video games than other people. As for me I know I'm not getting married, nor having any kids neither.

[@kristenphebs9580]

Been in a relationship for over 7 years. We're happy doing the Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn relationship ❤️. Both been married before and no rush. We're best friends his family loves me, wants us married ( my side too) but if it's not broke and working...why try and fix it?❤️❤️

[@TheRealDaytime]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story!

[@dawncullen0214]

Tina turner got married after a 30 year engagement 🤣

[@707tich]

That’s lovely💫 and your situation works and is different.

[@tisch9233]

Marriage means security if BOTH sites agree to be in a longlife commitment.

[@RTA6226]

I agree. WHY do they pressure women? They do NOT pressure men. It's 2022! My GOD! I agree with Adrienne, a lot of young people will marry to legitimize sex. That never works. Bottom line is people need to mind their own business! Why do you care about what other people are doing anyway?

[@mimim6857]

For many businesses marriage represents stability, so they feel you’re more likely to stick around.

[@honeybdream]

Whatever floats your boat & doesn’t sink mine‼️💙☮️

[@jordangaddis9207]

It’s all fun and games until it comes to that MONEY/WILL/LIFE INSURANCE POLICY lmao

[@dance4life1208]

Exactly people will be in a bad position listening to other people

[@babygirl4949]

Tuh! Listen!

[@glencoco8751]

Hello!!!!

[@bren7067]

You can put anyone as a beneficiary as long as they have a proven interes in you. You can write anyone in your will.

[@omphilemoerane2569]

That's literally what a will is for lol.

[@2sense110]

Some of these women claim Christianity and none of them side with the Bible on this topic. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. They need to keep there believes to themselves and just break these topics down like reasonable people

[@DaniB0703]

100% agree

[@roka2031]

I don't get people who say they don't want to be married then they live with the person, their finances is tied up with the person, they share their life on a daily with the person...etc...etc that's exactly what would be happening if you are married to the person but even better because you have some leagl proctection if stuff goes south...

[@venuscamp1245]

Valid points ladies 👍

[@Diana734]

Marriage gives you certain rights and privileges. It is not just a piece of paper...it is one of the biggest contracts you will sign in your life.

[@HBSugar1106]

I just hope people don't get married because of only financial reasons, the business contract, the benefits you receive legally, and so on. I think everyone needs to imagine their life 40-50 years with the same person. If you're comfortable looking at the same man or woman every single day. You know he/she is going to be on your child's birth certificate , your tax forms, your emergency contact/next of kin, your financial documents, attending family functions, business functions, friends, social events. You see each other in all different lights and darkness. If you can tolerate 40-50 years of that or more. Then by God and the holy spirit that is your husband or wife. If you have any doubt in your mind that you can't trust this person, his/her family, his/her judgment, his/her character, the way they talk to you, they just add more problems or weight. Do not marry him or her. Run don't walk. You know when you want someone in your corner when you will fight like hell for this person if they were in the hospital, on the street, without a job, no food to eat. You know you would get out there to help them. You wouldn't want to see them with anyone else but you. I say marry for love. Marry for companionship. Everyone can get money if you just go hustle and get a job. Any job is better than no job. I say if you have a place to live, eat, clothes you're doing better than most. If you found and have pure unconditional love that's the icing on the cake.

[@crystalanamericaninsicily]

Kurt Russell wants to Marry Goldie Hawn. She's been married before...and doesn't want to do it again. Over 40 in a "long term" Relationship is Pathetic. Being boyfriend and girlfriend over 40 is Ridiculous. It's like having a job without a contract..and don't lie to yourself. Ladies get a RING on it and the lease in both of your names. Ps. GOD forbid your "boyfriend" has any accident and is in the hospital, his family can bann you from seeing him...YOU'RE not family.

[@michaelrichardwarner]

I have a partner of 3 years we have been through a lot in those three years I happen to be physically disabled severely so with that being said I am able to be married and have kids but just because I'm able to do something doesn't mean that I want to do it so saying all that to say my partner and I have both discussed and been firm and fervent about the fact that we do not want to be married we also do not want kids and people diminish and demonize that fact! We as a society need to stop, putting our own personal views on broader society if an individual couple or individual people do not see want envision or need marriage in their future or kids in their future to be considered a whole person within their own self-value and self-worth then stop putting pressures on them to do something they clearly don't want to do it is more responsible just say you know what this is not something that's for me I know and I value this other person that I'm in a relationship but we do not necessarily need marriage or want marriage or see marriage in our future to be joyful and joy filled and enhance the happiness of the individuals within this relationship to be the most Paramount over arcing goal of our relationship!

[@wendyfan8071]

41 single never married and I'm good🙂

[@myriambhji3951]

I freaking hate when Adrienne talk over Loni gahdamn I can't take it anymore !!!!

[@jeffrivera3612]

My mom and dad have been together 29 years and aren’t married. Is their relationship perfect ? No, but I personally will never look down on them for not being married . Marriage doesn’t make a couple better than one who isn’t .

[@Prince_the_One]

May I ask why they haven't gotten married? Aren't they common law married by now?

[@dance4life1208]

@@Prince_the_One every state doesn’t have common law

[@Prince_the_One]

@@dance4life1208 interesting thank you for telling me

[@maame6224]

Great topic and love all ur comments!👏👏👏👏

[@Tan87ful]

👏👏💯💯

[@Tyra_Night]

1:22 😂 Agree! This is me when I hear this song!

[@Tan87ful]

😂😂😂😂😂💯💯💯

[@manuela1102]

If you don’t want to get married you don’t have too. But if you do you can. The decision is up to you and your partner. But why do people always make a problem when you choose not to get married. And if you choose to have kids and not be married that’s fine as well. The child or kids will not grow up different because you are not married.

[@miriamh2551]

Marriage is so much more important than people make it out to be. It isn't just a piece of paper, it's a contract where you're legalizing things for God's sake, in the eyes of the law, community, etc! To call it just a piece of paper like many do is downplaying it so much, money is also just a piece of paper, in that case so are birth and death certificates...these are all very important 'pieces of paper' that symbolize so much. I'm sad our next generation doesn't see that

[@peacefaith560]

exactly

[@Officialgaella]

Not true!! You can be fulfilled without contact of marriage. Like not everyone want the same lifestyles and that’s okay

[@bren7067]

I say do what works for you in your relationship. If you have assets and children with someone, marriage is good protection. Everyone isn't a Christian, and that is ok. If you want a Biblical marriage, then do you. Just don't push your marriage on anyone else.

[@justhereyeah1112]

I don’t disagree! I just want to say that it’s interesting that these women are having this conversation and they have professed to be Christians… their ideas are of the world and don’t aline with the word, there are so many scriptures that support a healthy marriage. It’s clear that God designed marriage, Loni said marriage is a contract when in actually its a covenant. My point is that there aren’t enough married people talking about the benefits of being married. I get it as an adult you can take care of yourself but in a marriage two is better than one… not trying to push my view or thoughts, I just found it interesting because that’s why people don’t believe what Christians say it’s a lot of progressive thinking nowadays

[@bren7067]

@@justhereyeah1112 Marriage is a legal contract. Not everyone who gets married sees it as a convenant with God, and that's ok.

[@justhereyeah1112]

@@bren7067 but what I’m saying is the truth is that God designed it and HE has a plan… we can’t pretend that he didn’t. I understand that there are people who don’t believe but to say it’s a contract is worldly and it negates the truth and origin.

[@stephanie8202]

AMEN LONI!!! Not being married nor Not having kids make you LESS of a woman 💯.

[@TheMichelleRena]

I believe in marriage and family. I don't pressure anyone to get married. I love God and I am committed to biblical principles. I realize everyone doesn't acknowledge God the way I do. If your not ready please do not do it. The marriage covenant is a serious one and is an example of God and his bride.

[@killawalez3944]

Lmfao I love when Adrienne freaks out about Loni’s faces 😅😅😅

[@CookieFridays]

Live and let live. For me, I’ve always known I wanted a husband, the idea of having multiple boyfriends, dating several guys, wasting time and being heartbroken never appealed to me and that may be why I didn’t even start dating until I was 28. Nowadays after having a little more experience, I think it’s actually taught me a lot by chatting with a lot of guys and dating, but that’s not the point. I still want to find the right guy that I can envision a future with. Now, if I never have children, I might not care to get married, or I wouldn’t mind waiting like 10 years until marriage. But yeah, in the back of my mind I do still like the idea of marriage, I’m a romantic and as long as I’m happy with my partner and love them, I wouldn’t be pessimistic about the future or worry about potential divorce. If I had kids I think I would feel uncomfortable that I wasn’t married. Kids are the biggest commitment of all in my opinion. It’s up to everyone though. In some cultures, marriage is more like a nightmare because of misogynistic values and expectations with in-laws etc. I don’t like that, if you think getting a wife is akin to getting a mom, housekeeper or slave, that’s not something I would want to subscribe to

[@jamarkuswilson1525]

Living in Vietnam for the last three years and 45 and not married, I get asked what's wrong with me not being married. By 25 here you should be married or something is wrong with you, so some of it is cultural.

[@tiffanyreene7955]

I feel like if it wasn’t so much pressure about marriage, then more people would get married. Pressures like being married by a certain time, being married multiple times, or just getting divorced. It’s a lot of pressure. Marriage, yes can be a beautiful thing, but society has romanticized it to where originally (not talking biblically) it was just a business ordeal. A lot of women couldn’t have a successful life without being married. Also, if titles and labels wasn’t such a big thing in society, then more people would be happier. Like you don’t have to be married to have a successful relationship.

[@Tan87ful]

👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@ck1098]

Completely agree with this!!

[@christinadg]

If something happens to you boyfriend or girlfriend feelings don’t matter. Medically spouse, then family feelings matter!

[@marissa._]

Its ignorant and annoying when people say, "we're meant to be paired". 😒 According to who?!?!??? 🤨 Is that in writing somewhere??? 😕🤷🏽‍♀️ Is it a sin to be alone??? 😕 Are people gonna be damned to hell for all eternity if they're alone and single??? 😕 Is it against some law we don't know about to be alone?!?? 😕🤷🏽‍♀️ Are people gonna be jailed if they're alone and single and/or choose to be that way??? 😕 There's people in relationships that are TOXIC, ABUSIVE, MISERABLE, LONELY, ETC. Yet, when there's a single person who GENUINELY LOVES & ENJOYS their life being alone, people think its "wrong" or "abnormal" or that the person is "unlovable" or "unwanted". Like for goodness sake, some people just want and/or need to enjoy their own lives alone 🤷🏽‍♀️. Some people are LITERALLY MEANT to be alone and single and to enjoy their lives as such. There's NOTHING "wrong" with that! Its peaceful to be alone and single for some people and there's NOTHING "wrong" or "weird" or "abnormal" about that! Everyone doesn't want, much less "need" marriage and kids! Kids that didn't even ask to be born and brought into this sick, pathetic, dying, evil, cruel, INCONCEIVABLY HARD & UNFAIR, UNJUST, poverty-stricken, disease-ridden, illness-infested world in the first damn place! People need to learn the difference between alone vs. lonely. - Alone is to be by oneself. Its a state of being. - Lonely is a FEELING typically associated with sadness and feeling like "something's missing". I've seen more relationships than not that have actually inspired me to stay alone and made me glad to be single. Like you said, we were born alone, we're going to die alone. We're WHOLE as we are. Edit: Also, just because someone wants and/or needs to be single and they GENUINELY ENJOY their life that way, it DOESN'T MEAN that they have "commitment-phobia" OR that they were "traumatized"! 😒🙄🤦🏽‍♀️ They DON'T have sh** to prove to you, me or anyone else! NO ONE is required NOR obligated to be in a relationship and reproduce! That's giving Handmaid's Tale! I understand that some people want companionship and that's fine...FOR THAT PARTICULAR PERSON IN QUESTION! However, it doesn't (*and sometimes won't*) happen for everyone and that's okay. Who the hell wants to settle for less?!?? It'll ALWAYS BE BETTER to either marry LATE or NOT marry AT ALL than to marry wrong! NORMALIZE NOT looking at single people as something that needs to be "fixed" and something being "wrong" with them when in FACT, there ain't sh** "wrong" with them AT ALL! Being single is VERY PEACEFUL and for some people its A LOT SAFER to be single than in a relationship!!! While trauma MAY play a role in SOME cases, there's instances where it DOESN'T! Why does it have to?!?!??? 🤨 Why can't it be a person's decision that should be respected WITHOUT question?!?!?! Why does there have to be a reason for someone's personal choice for THEIR LIFE that DOESN'T affect you in NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM?!?!?!?! Why the f*** do A LOT of you people get off on trying to run other people's lives?!?!?! Telling other people (*specifically women*) what THEY should do with THEIR LIVES, BODIES and how YOU THINK THEY'LL feel if they DON'T "settle down" or in other words, settle for less and reproduce!?!!?!? How would you know if they'll feel "lonely" or not?!?!?!?! WHAT makes you think that?!?!? 🤨 WHY do you think that?!?!?! 🤨 HOW did you come to thought?!?!?!? 🤨 Because YOU said so?!?!?!? 🤨 Because you knew someone who told you THEIR experience so now you think you have a right to COMPARE everyone alike?!?!?!? 🤨 So now YOU make the rules?!?!?! 🤨 GTFOH!!! 🖕🏽 This is NOT the 1800s!!!! Women ARE ALLOWED to have credit cards, work, have THEIR OWN MONEY, businesses, apartments, houses, cars, etc. The times of dowries are OVER!!!! THANKFULLY!!!!

[@modeljaisimone]

Loni cracks me up every time 😂😂😂😂

[@trehen3681]

I feel like we have to start teaching our young ones how to survive and how to love themselves without seeking validation. Because a lot do marry for financial reasons and others merry to feel or be loved regardless of if they love the other person back. Another thing is, women are raised differently than men. More often, women are raised to be wives while men are not raised to be husbands. But all in all, you have to understand the institution of marriage before you can truly be in a healthy one.

[@teetawn9454]

I REALLY wish Loni could be more serious. Either its the loud cackling laugh, seductively stroking her wig, lingering on her version of a smouldering look, doing her shoulder sex dance where she moves her shoulders up and down in dance suggestively etc. It's as if a moment of dead air/silence is uncomfortable and she is at a loss as to what to do so she cackles, or the other nervous move mentioned. Just being mature, stating her opinion and keeping it moving w/ style and grace like the other women is so what I would love to see from her. Adrienne , the baby of the group is so mature, worldly, articulate and just on point with her opinions. She brings it and doesn't need to do anything hokey to bring herself a bit of comfort. I would like to see Loni with this same eloquence, maturity and security.

[@rebeccajean1572]

That’s nice until something unfortunately happens and you have no rights to anything your boyfriend has.

[@TheSunshinefee]

next time have the subject how married women shun single friends. once they are married, they tend to forget their single friends, they only spend time with married couples

[@EllenBanda]

I know young Christian couples who got married at young age are doing great not everyone marries because they want to have sex that narrative is overrated and the continuous generalisation is getting old. To me it looks like a shield for some to justify premarital sex and also allude that they’re in a better head space to choose a spouse since they went ahead and did it anyway. Which in my opinion is definitely incorrect looking at peoples past receipts. Leave people doing right by God alone and stop assuming it’s all about sex, it definitely isn’t.

[@2sense110]

She said nothing wrong she made a true statement she did not say all she said some of them and that is a fact

[@dance4life1208]

Nobody was talking about Christian’s though

[@EllenBanda]

@@dance4life1208 Adrienne said in Christianity especially 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Sarah-zg2iq]

Garcelle looks amazing 🌺

[@seygra20]

Love Adrienne's chain set.

[@gaila.9852]

I will never understand why people worry about whether other people will get married and have kids. Why does that concern you!?

[@marcellacollins4697]

But some single women get ask to marry but they choose not to snd far as being old maid I be a old at peace maid

[@demitriwelling1348]

Marriage for the right reasons to a loving cooperative partner is a plus. All their points are valid.

[@Tan87ful]

👏👏👏💯💯💯

[@truthandbeautyco]

What does God say? If you're a Christian, God defines sex and marriage. what does God say?

[@nikig2891]

I think there are also women who want to get married but aren’t willing to compromise on the person they want to marry.

[@justafanfave228]

If it wasn’t for marriage, my dad’s girlfriend would have put my autistic brother on the street. That paper secured his home. However, it doesn’t mean I am gonna settle.

[@violetl.4615]

Huh who is your dad married to?

[@justafanfave228]

@@violetl.4615 Lmaooo. My mom but he also had a girlfriend of many years.

[@Justauri-asdfghjkl]

It irritates me that men are the ones who decide who gets married (proposing and their last name) but women are the ones shamed for not being married

[@apRN1993]

THIS!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@StuJones-gn7te]

You can do the proposing. Of course the odds of a yes are much lower than they ate for a man.

[@tiamarie6997]

Why be together for all those years and not get married though ? It’s the right thing to do!!! It’s a sin to have sex without marriage WITH YALL CHRISTIAN SELVES🤨😒SMH!

[@nurseyourli]

It a sin to get divorce after marriage so pick ur sin

[@tiamarie6997]

@@jenaeannofficial Exactly!!!! Everyone wants to they’re “ Christian “, but they know nothing!! That’s only thing I don’t like about this show, is that when they get to talking about not having to be married but be in a relationship smh.

[@janejustin1788]

@@jenaeannofficial the Bible only allows divorce in case of adultery. Also, i never see you and others criticize the REAL women when they brag about getting drunk. I thought the Bible is against drinking wine/alcohol to the point of getting drunk??

[@addsomespice4627]

Sometimes I’m confused on if Adrienne is Christian or not 😭

[@i.7354]

Me too🤣!!!

[@cdale211989]

Bc the Bible is pro marriage. It speaks about it multiple times.

[@ceeceedior21]

Don’t judge her because you sin differently

[@malalopita8999]

Please bring back this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@emileydow646]

My parents have been happily committed to one another for 32 years! 3 kids, 3 grandkids and never had the desire or goal to get married. They have never run into any issues, just judgment from others because it is almost unheard of to have a successful family and partnership these days without wanting to get married.

[@TheAlreadytaken24]

I only wanted to get married one time.. like really get married and it didn't work out.. and i definitely been asked a lot.. and truthfully helllllllllll no lol.. people now and days want to get married for financial reasons.. or you learn they are deeply in debt and need help.. or you will learn they got kids and it looks better if they are married for court problems.. like i don't know what it is with this generation but I've heard from my male guy friends that they want to get married for reasons i listed.. it did take the beautiful feeling i had for it away because i want to marry for love.. not because i want to look good for social media or for any other reason.. so i enjoy having a partner.. maybe a partner for life even.. but married? I don't know... still pondering on that one since i was recently asked.. i like for people to be straight up with no hidden agendas that is why it is so important to date and really get to know that person or even live with them first .. trust me..

[@prettychrissy]

I just hate the fact if a woman is not married she is viewed as undesirable or unwanted like she is damage goods

[@707tich]

For me I’m talking about me who is 34 years old single. In my mid career. Still dating and had 2 serious relationships in past. I have always know I wanted to be a wife because. I value myself with would bring into a marriage and I adore children I NEVER want to be communicated to or with… as a baby mother. Wtf? 😳🥴🥴🥴🥴🖐🏾The bank manager: “Good afternoon baby mother, “ the school head teacher “is your baby mother coming to the PTA meeting”, travelling: “who’s the name under”? oh my name not my baby mother, in casual or official discussions.. “oh my baby mother would say the same”

[@RTA6226]

As Adrienne said, there's Goldie Hawn. Also there's Oprah and more.

[@RealTakerslady]

They questioned Clooney constantly, started gay rumors

[@Tan87ful]

Wow smh