stop taking advice from men [casey neistat abandoned son for success]

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*age correction - change "16" to "17 or 18"*
In this episode, Elle discusses the importance of discernment when accepting advice from men, particularly regarding money and career. She highlights the differences in experiences between men and women and cautions against building a life with men who are still figuring out their own. Elle also shares insights about men in survival mode and their potential to sacrifice anything to achieve their goals. She advocates for women to protect their space and time, emphasizing the value of outdoor hobbies. Finally, Elle ends on a positive note, reminding listeners that good men exist and that women should always strive to secure their own future.

[@rossothecrimson7]

They call us Gold Diggers, I call them Soul Diggers.

[@toomuchinformation]

Energy vampires, Dracula.

[@Rosemallow]

Oooof 🎯

[@desiree2086]

Worse, they’re both.

[@FaithElle2]

🎯

[@Corrans]

That's brilliant

[@sheilatanart9874]

"Men having it all are built on the backs of women doing it all." 👌

[@melanievintimilla7543]

FACTS

[@kgs2280]

The bottom line!

[@manifest2203]

So true.

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

Yessssssssssss! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!

[@kayleighf.6599]

Preach

[@clarabruselas8444]

In two instances men asked me why i didn't want children (i just don't want to) they told me they couldn't wait to have kids and take them on car rides. I told them the difference was they will only have to care about the fun stuff when and if they are around, for us women the scenario is completely different. The last thing that comes into my mind when thinking about children is damn car rides. That's how you know their perception of reality is fucked

[@toomuchinformation]

And they probably only picture doing that with SONS.

[@samanthalake5011]

Yessss 😆

[@riz7855]

Oh this is so true

[@toomuchinformation]

Wasn't there some research that the more men got involved with childcare, the less children they wanted? This was from Spain.

[@clarabruselas8444]

@daRich_X Not me tho, i´m not having kids, at a very young age i could tell i had no maternal instincts, nor the desire to reproduce, the only kids i like are my nephew and nice and the older i grow that notion just cements harder. but yeah it´s sick how different parenting views are for men and women.

[@malvavisco10]

Also, he’s being praised for being so brave and determined for saving money by couch surfing… meanwhile, most women wouldn’t even feel safe or be safe doing that. Male privilege 101

[@Speakup117]

I've had to couch surf and there's NO such things as a free place to sleep as a woman, even as a girl amongst boys you thought were friends.

[@kenyett7]

This is simultaneously disgusting and disheartening to read ​@@Speakup117

[@spookfook4542]

womp womp imagine being scared of that

[@Speakup117]

@@spookfook4542 imagine beging a man essentially reading womens magazines ironically lol

[@ErutaniaRose]

Had a friend who had to do this a lot because their Mum worked a lot and was a single parent. (Because of an abusive man who left her when she was 21 with a baby). I was always glad my house was a safe place for them, and that they had good friends other than me so they were safer. Couch surfing in a female body is so high risk for SA, it’s so sad.,

[@AngryVet44]

Using women for their unpaid labor and the fact that we are trained from birth to serve basically completely UNPAID REGARDLESS OF COUNTRY OF BIRTH!!

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

For Real!!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!

[@roundtwo3321]

Yes, the day that I realized that I had been brainwashed to see men as the prize was the best and worst day of my life. I have never looked back since then.

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

@@roundtwo3321 Proud of YOU!! The world is changing anyways, it's important to be in front of the change instead of left behind with pickMeisha and her gang!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!

[@ReemTahir]

This right here. How deluded some people are to think we actually have gender equality anywhere.

[@Xepher8]

And now I serve no one 😊

[@Cyhcg5uhgb]

Dont call a 16 year old a women. We get forced to mature young enough already. She was just a little girl. He knocked up a little girl

[@AlliWalker]

He was a teenager too. I agree though we shouldn't call teenagers men or women, they are in adolescence still.

[@SunscreenAndVitamins]

Yes, this.

[@302monique]

Used her as a burnt offering 😢

[@blahblah173-cj3qn]

I think he said in one of his videos that she was much older..

[@akakurapico]

I agree with what you’re saying but he was a kid too, I’m sure you’re not but it’s looking like you’re implying he was a predator who prayed on her or something he was 15 at the time

[@Larevolucion95]

"Good luck being single," they say... so important you talk about the solitude, because the woman in a bad relationship is LONELY.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Threatening women with a good time 😂

[@la6136]

Men have always made me feel so alone while being with them because I was sacrificing myself for their benefit. I do not feel alone being single because I am putting myself first. That’s the crazy part they don’t get.

[@timafiggy]

No they are invisible. period! My ex Husband mother was like this an been married for a long time. My ex tried that crap with me and couldn't even keep a job in the Army didn't stay his duty time. I stayed in all the way to my ETS date. Then as time passed he was getting my ore distant then eventually divorce and his true self came out as he was trying to Abandon me to start messing with another woman while separated. And he didn't even acknowledge that his family literally meddle while at home and didn't even acknowledge while I was in an my home. It started with the shower thing.

[@lazerbubbles3630]

EXACTLY❣️❣️❣️

[@ReHako]

True! Never have I ever felt even half as lonely as when I was with my ex. Thanks. No thanks

[@crystalnelson314]

My male friend tried taking issue with advice for women to not chase men. I knew right then and there he didn't know what he was talking about.

[@therealmanifestelle]

✨discernment✨

[@crystalnelson314]

@@holographicwing I'm so frustrated with him. His crush has liked him back for several years and sent signals but he has been refusing to ask her out. He wants her to do it :(

[@aliya6158]

IT was not his crush，it was a woman who he tried to break. why are you even wasting time on that guy?

[@crystalnelson314]

@@aliya6158 We are close friends. This is the one annoying thing. He is into her but refuses to make any moves and has for years.

[@beardpapa12]

@@crystalnelson314 If she really was his priority, he would have asked her out. And I would honestly belly laugh and roll my eyes if he cries because she got fed up and got serious with some other dude.

[@griffisu]

wow. this immediately reminded me of Friedrich Nietzsche and his caretaker, Meta Von Salis. she was a prominent figure in the women’s suffrage movement and was an all around bad ass, well educated woman. her and a group of other women cared for Nietzsche his entire life because he was always too ill and poor to care for him self, but their service allowed him to write and thus open the door for his success as a writer and philosopher. but what’s worse about this story is that despite all the work Meta Von Salis poured into him and his well being, he was AGAINST the liberation of women and didn’t believe women were subjugated. 🙄 ain’t that bout a bitch?

[@mixtapewrecker]

oh my god, I didn't know this! thank you for sharing ❤

[@briskettacos]

Nietsche is popular among repill men, surprise surprise

[@RawOlympia]

Disgusting! Karl Marx spent all day writing in cafes and eating treats while his wife and children starved and had no shoes! he got a ton of loans from his rich buddy Engels but never kicked it down to the wife/children.

[@annle986]

same with George Orwell after I read Wifedom book. All the influences from the women figures in his life (talented, nourishing, editing his work) are dismissed by the patriarchal society. They were written off when his career's praised and also he treated his wife like crap (cheating on her with her best friend, gaslighting her when she's taking care of him). Very sadistic. I learn to disassociate a person from their work also, never idolise anyone just because of the work (and the work may not even their own personal effort). So many successful men are narcissistic with no ability to self-reflect and they're selfish/dismissive to the extreme. I'm also brainwashed into going above and beyond to please men, to have their validation. I'm glad I found Elle channel and you girls to continue to unlearn everyday!

[@OffTheWagons]

Men mistake women having power over them as us having the upper hand. They cannot stand it, and take it out on us however they can while still being able to somehow blame us for their personal lot in life.

[@ellagrace1996]

I’m a woman, almost 25 and haven’t been in a relationship in over three years because of my dad. My dad’s indigenous cultural practices set an example for me and my siblings about what good men will do for their partners. My parents have been together for over 31 years (married for over 24). And throughout my life my dad has shown me and my siblings that men who actually LOVE their wives will make sacrifices for them. My dad became a stay at home dad while my mom built her now very successful business from the ground up. He cooked and cleaned for the house and would always make sure to have my mom’s favorite show on before she got home so they could watch it together. So when I started learning about traditional gender roles in school I asked my dad why he was doing “women’s work” and my dad said “in my tribe men are the providers.” This comment confused me until I got older and started learning about how “primitive” Native American culture was portrayed in American education. I asked about the sexism and my dad laughed and said “remember when I told you about men being providers?” I said yes and then he said. “The reason men hunted and women didn’t, was because men are seen as expendable, women are see as invaluable.” That changed me in a profound way to this day and because of this mindset, I refuse to settle for a man who sees women as an asset rather than a privilege.

[@Luna-mq8ke]

This is so sweet 😭 what a great dad!!

[@ComfortASMRalice]

Your parents story is so beautiful

[@SoVidushi]

this is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing. Wishing the best of health and happiness for your parents.

[@annemarieposa]

thanks for sharing🦋

[@aurora8749]

Your Dad is a beautiful man. :) I'm proud of you also!

[@et2223]

idk how applicable this is, but my cousin was with her ex-husband for 8 YEARS before they got married, when they met HE was practically HOMELESS, couch surfing. She married him and after they immigrated to the US because SHE is a nurse who could get a work visa, it only took a couple years for him to cheat and leave her to marry someone else. Men leave their “ride or dies” all the time.

[@CyberMachine]

They don't want anybody who reminds them of when they were broke

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Yah ego. If a man is truly humble, or at least self-aware, he will remain loyal. But most people have easily bruised egos.

[@Wonderer888]

Well he can’t impress the ride or die as she knows him at his lowest, he wants somewhere where he can lie and pretend there was no woman behind him getting to where he is.

[@inesako258]

@@CyberMachine Yes, yes, YES!! ty for saying this bc the men ALWAYS end up RESENTING the women that they relied on during the time they were broke bc it reminds them of the time they were losers.

[@Kayprofessor]

I had a boss grilling me for my home life getting in the way of work while he has a stay at home wife doing ABSOLUTELY everything for him. She even brings food to him at work every day. He doesn’t even have to think about lunch. Unbelievable. If I had a wife…. All the things I could accomplish

[@thesecretshade]

I keep thinking that too. Just once I want to experience the insane amount of support these guys get to get where they are. I would work my butt off and do everything to make my support partners life easier and make her happy. Because I know a man won't do anything for free for me. They only care about their own life and career goals and treat the woman that made it possible like she's replaceable.

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

Yes Wife is modern day sl*ve, sanctioned by the govt. 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love To You!!!

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

I always say we all need a wife 😅

[@MeowNow494]

Yep when I was in my career and people would ask me if I was going to have kids I told them the only way I could consider it is if I could be the dad. If I could go to work every day and then come home and take time to myself because I’ve been working all day, then maybe spend an hour playing with kids and putting them to bed, and then getting up in the morning getting ready and leaving for work immediately. that’s the only way I would do it

[@la6136]

@@MeowNow494This is why I always said I would only have kids if I could afford a full time nanny. Otherwise it is a no from me

[@hhhaaallleeesss]

I was a day one. My son’s father had nothing when we met. I did everything I could to build him up because of the false promise that we were building something together (this stupidly on my part included actual unpaid work outside of all the home responsibilities and child rearing). Now that he’s successful my contributions are downplayed. He is now of the mind that he’s always been this successful and that success is only his. I was also promised that once he was settled where he wanted to be it would be my turn to go after my own goals. Did not happen. I was left at square one on my own. Never again will I believe a man’s bullshit like this. For all the younger girls, spare yourselves. Trash men will suck you dry.

[@Kayprofessor]

Same same same

[@j.daemin]

The bf of a friend of mine told her that she should get married first and after a year he's going to pay for her uni tuition fees... A year later she got pregnant, a year after that one the second pregnancy came... 7 years have passed and he still hasn't fulfilled his promise + she's sitting involuntarily at home, bc he doesn't want her to work 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[@urfavvv]

​@@j.daemin same thing almost happened to me plus the age gap was massive, they know what they are doing.

[@paideiaproductionsmediades6037]

My father ruined my mother's ENTIRE LIFE this way. She was a talented,beautiful professional Symphony Cellist who won MANY MANY State & national Honors right out of High School. Only after her tragic death this year, did I see ANY of these photos of her in Symphony on stage or any of her precious metals awarded to her. She got with him young, he took her to places like Woodstock, she was naive & manipulated, got pregnant and married the jerk...I'm the 3rd and last child. She helped him start and run his businesses, he cheated on her many times over, beat her up and publicly shamed her into submission, he broke her nose early on when I was little, I saw it happen at least once. He destroyed her confidence,her beauty, her ambition for success in her music and paintings...isolated her from her family & church. My mother...... it's tragic. I'm glad my dad died first and alone in a nursing home. I'm happy he knew I hated him for what he did to us all. His abuse was on me, too... I ended up in foster homes for many years, only to have more abuse there ... the only good part is that while I was gone, my mother was getting divorced from him. I wasn't allowed to return home until the divorce was finalized and she had her own apartment. That took YEARS of my life away from me. My mother would have had a better life had she never met him,I'm sure.

[@ComfortASMRalice]

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you were abandoned that way, I’m rooting for you to build your own gains and succeed now that you are wiser❤

[@stephkais5613]

2:45 he was willing to do so much except sacrafice gis life goals and ambitions to be a parent. That sacrafice was forced upon a girl to chase his dreams. What a hero. All it takes to make it is throw the responsibility on a woman then run 😂 I bet he came back into that kids life years later with money and acted like the best dad ever.

[@therealmanifestelle]

period

[@millieconsultancy]

yes he did. he also found another woman to go with him.

[@Darth_Bateman]

Aren't you girls pro-choice.....?

[@TT-ee1vv]

​@@Darth_Bateman Your comment makes no point and doesn't erase the fact that that man ran away from caring for his kids.

[@LightningDoesStrikeThrice]

Then wanted all the credit to I bet smdh

[@clara4942]

I used to work for a very coveted US fund manager. I worked for the Managing Director who had a stay at home wife and mother. He had the audacity to say to me his wife had no job. I shook my head, destroyed my career and said, “She has two unpaid jobs.” No regrets. Now I’m an MD of my own biz. What I realised is these men aren’t even that great. He had five brilliant women working under him. Don’t waste your time and energy making men great; make yourself great. Screw 6 figures. Go get 7.

[@NatalyaRempenning]

As a woman in finance, the farther I advance, the more this rings true. I'm always shocked by how many brilliant woman are moving the business along, only to have their contributions minimized by men and even other women. It seems that every MD, even the nice nominally pro-women ones, quite literally ALL have wives whose careers are at home or deeply secondary within the marriage. I have yet to see one single MD mention that he couldn't do it without his wife, while I have many who spring to mind immediately that are happy to complain about workload and the "burden of providing" or talk about their wives as "spoiled", even if they work. Women are invisible stepping stones and totems of success, not true equal partners and it colours the way working women in these kinds of leadership structures are treated. It truly feels like an arena in which I will never win, and I'm currently accepting that winning men's games as a women is impossible. Would love to hear how you successfully made your transition to managing your own firm and started playing games you could win !

[@samanthalake5011]

2024 is the year of Women Humbling Men. 🥳

[@NoNameToYou]

Vote accordingly

[@melissarose888]

Yes, please.

[@nothingbutme1150]

Yasss🎉 👏

[@melanievintimilla7543]

Yea please

[@cristinaratiu4535]

They respond with agression and violence to being humbled...

[@amylizard]

I got into an argument with a guy I had been dating for a couple of weeks, because I said I would not even consider children until I was settled. Settled being getting to my humble career-goals, having a proper home, having worked through my issues, ect. He didn't understand why I acted like having children would "stop" my life. And I told him that once I have kids, I can't unhave them. I do not want to work to "get ahead" in life AND be responsible for children at the same time. He didn't think having kids was a big deal. I dumped him.

[@sideshow_pya]

yea he didn't think having kids was a "big deal" bc he wouldn't be the one attending them like a mother typically does.

[@annak804]

You dodged a bullet

[@scorpionbraid]

"The system is built for them, and they're losing." First: Grade A burn. Second: Gather round biology girlies! This is a prime example of Darwinism in action.

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

Fr!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Thank U, Much Love!!!

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

That's what I am saying? Have you seen that number of women being employed and going to colleges is more than men? When jobs are built for "men" and they mostly hire men women still can and do outbeat them. It's only when we are forced to marry in few societies that this doesn't happen or else women make solid stable employees

[@elleelle7200]

Sorry that’s not Darwinism…they’re still passing on their genes to the next generation.

[@ComfortASMRalice]

Damn

[@diamondregenta9610]

The system is failed and men dies this year...

[@quinntran5809]

Every dusty man I've been unfortunate enough to meet during my abused phase hated my outdoor, uninterrupted hobbies.

[@beeautifuldreamer2211]

That's because they had nothing to do with his happiness. They hate to see us happy without them pulling the strings.

[@kgs2280]

@@beeautifuldreamer2211And at the same time, they purposefully try to destroy our dreams or anything that makes us happy.

[@nitebreak]

guys always want a “gamer girl” who will play with him and do what he wants but hate girls who like hobbies outside of them.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

It's the same with work. If your work is fulfilling, a broken man will devalue the time you put into it as it takes away from his entitlement to your time and labour.

[@unicorn73212]

​​​@@VeeKayGreenerGrassall the more reason to focus on yourself and be selfish the older you get the more you will realize that when a man insults you he's just projecting because he's jealous of you its like my supervisor the other day he changed departments on us because he was intimidated by our work most of the people that work in our department are women and every time he was around us or even in the same building as us our score drops and my brain cells start to pop but when he's not there my scores go back up. Something about a guy being present in a woman's life holds women back. When there not around society is still functioning without them. And that's what scares them the most because they know it's true if women had there own country away from men it would be the most peaceful country in the world with a very low crime rate. Wealthy men would travel there just to take vacations and leave. That actually says a lot more about them then it does us. Wanting to hold someone back from succeeding just proves that there mostly just jealous haters they need to stop competing with women and learn to compete with other men before they can start teaching honor role students how to keep there score up. 😊

[@jaimiejin7992]

I know plenty of women belittled by their jealous and insecure partners because they feel inferior to how good she is, instead of feeling lucky and grateful what kind of woman they got. If a man is unhappy and resentful, he'll make sure you live a lifetime of misery.

[@olganova3058]

omg your so right ❤

[@UpwardMobility-jr9mv]

Agreed. I remember reading the saying "The man doesn't rise to the woman's quality of life; the woman falls to the man's quality of life." This has rung true in every situation I've come across. Please be diligent, ladies. 💛

[@jaimiejin7992]

@@UpwardMobility-jr9mv So true and thank you for sharing your thoughts

[@UpwardMobility-jr9mv]

@@jaimiejin7992 Thank you as well. Isn't sisterhood so enriching? 😊

[@jaimiejin7992]

@@UpwardMobility-jr9mv I just love all the supporting girls!!

[@ballerina3483]

I always wondered what we women have achieved if we worked together instead of expecting from men and getting disappointed over and over again

[@clara4942]

This 🙏 The world would be so much more socially healthy.

[@annemarieposa]

thissss💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[@aurora8749]

I've been saying we need to depend on our sisters more. I had this moment of realization just recently at 32, that hurt my soul! Me and my best friend both experienced horrible, abusive relationships with men. We both had kids as teens and we both ended up being the only one in our homes who paid bills, cooked, cleaned, or took care of children while our partners sat around and criticized and abused us. If we would have just woken up and stuck together, we both would have had way better lives. 😢

[@annemarieposa]

better late than never!!!💖💖 @@aurora8749

[@ThimbleFox350]

Seriously if you want to raise a happy healthy family find another woman who wants kids and build a life together. Don’t even have to be gay. Do not rely on men.

[@AlliWalker]

This video reminded me of the absolute hatred many men have for women who are equestrians. Horse "girls" seem to inspire a lot of hate in online, male-dominated spaces like Reddit. I have a theory that it is because women who participate in horse sports are inaccessible for long periods of time, and the love people have for their horses will drive them to put their own needs and the needs of their animals over the wants of shitty partners. Most horse women will tell you that they would choose their horse over their (often mediocre) male partner, and men CAN'T STAND IT. I knew at a young age that I wanted to have an adult life where I could ride and afford my own horses without a second income, and it's been a drive of mine when it comes to getting through the military and school for career advancement. Being an equestrian allowed me at a very young age to decenter men and pursue my own goals even if that meant I was going to be unpopular or weird to dudes who were used to being the center of everybody else's worlds. I love my girl hobbies.

[@nipoppolous87]

We are also more grounded and emotionally mature. They can’t manipulate.

[@chrystianaw8256]

I never understood the hatred for horse girls

[@madalice5134]

That reminds me of the anger and resentment men show towards women who take good care of their animals in general. If you look in the comments of videos of women showing themselves, making their animals fresh food, training their animals, etc, there is much hate from men. They hate that the care and love of these women isn't being given to them just for existing.

[@kgs2280]

@@madalice5134Exactly. When I was young, I had a dog, and my boyfriend (who I thought, at the time, was “The One” - ha!) absolutely hated my dog and said she was ugly. So I said, “Love me, love my dog”. My animals will always come first, because they’re MINE and they know how to love. 99.99% of men will never be “MINE” or even know how to love.

[@kgs2280]

@@digitalpain8269 I would never ask another person to choose me over his pet, or ask him to get rid of a pet. “Love me, love my dog” goes both ways, and for cats or other kinds of pets, too.

[@Asiwnsk]

'She and I kinda got close and then like, immediately, she was pregnant' Can we talk about just how casually he said it, like 'oopsie!🤭🙈', like it's no big deal. And that's because he doesn't have to bear the physical/mental stress and demands of what a pregnancy and child ACTUALLY means. He doesn't have to bear the societal stigma and the financial set back that women have to face. He isn't held as accountable for his decisions as women are. He lives on easy mode. A pregnancy? Not a big deal! I have a child? Oopsie! And can we talk about how he's not shamed at all? Compare that to how shamed a girl would be for putting it out there that she got pregnant at 15. That's on life on easy mode. And they talk about struggling lmao

[@corimoon3360]

THANK YOU!!! They’re always talking about how bad they have it and how “women live life on easy mode” when it’s MEN who live life on easy mode lmaooo! They literally face no consequences or repercussions for their BS ever. It’s always a woman to blame.

[@SummerSun-sg3wf]

I love that they accuse women of being on easy mode

[@Rainbowssugar]

Woman matching their energy nooooo!

[@thesilentdiva]

On a side note it's always been so strange to me how cavalier some people are about bringing a life into the world

[@travelgirlsecrets]

if a woman doesn't have kids she can also live on easy mode...@@corimoon3360

[@mochi19971]

My dad is pretty successful, and he takes every chance he gets (whenever he gets to hold a speech) to thank my mother, my grandmother, and basically all the women in his life who made it all possible. I respect him so much.

[@Wonderer888]

And that’s why he’s pretty successful and will continue to be. What most men fail to realise is, what they give a woman she multiplies and returns to him. So a man who supports life and shows gratitude to the women behind him has no choice but to get even more success because his appreciation is felt and returned. It’s an energetic exchange

[@la6136]

I have noticed the men who are like this were raised to respect women from a very young age and they carry that with them throughout their lives.

[@FocusedFighter777]

​@@la6136 But M love to say M are important in the kid's life, but not W. And yet....

[@deezed6478]

The first Casey Neistat example drives me wild. Nothing irks me more than men who do nothing around children and obviously don’t have to birth them, completely disregarding everything women do.

[@levtieart3409]

Then complain the kid wamts nothimg to do with them (Like musk and hes kids , or my father) and cry like they sre victiks and unappreciated

[@shaolinqueen3684]

I discarded men many years ago and became self oriented. I found no matter what man I dated in any race, creed, or religion was the same outcome for me, they expected me to become their sacrificial animal. I got rid of them and their hideous unreasonable expectations. They should never expect anything from me because I have plenty to give, but NOT for them.

[@mana-uv7cz]

And they play you and cheat it’s never enough for them.

[@aurora8749]

Love it. That's the path I'm on as well. And it's annoying how often men throw themselves at me.

[@ThimbleFox350]

I give all my love to rats. It really pisses men off that I love my animals and not them. They’re literally losing a competition to a rat.

[@Des_Ogers_Kaeselanze]

I'm just so torn apart. Men don't even give the bare minimum, we are rightfully angry about that. But as soon as they do the bare minimum, we get happy EVEN THOUGH WE SHOULDN'T. And if we point out "Wow, the bare minimum, cool, you want a medal?", Men just get angry and stop doing the bare minimum because we don't praise them for doing the bare minimum. I don't want to praise men for cleaning dishes but sometimes it's the only thing that gets them to continue doing the bare minimum. Like we have to praise a toddler for eating veggies.

[@toomuchinformation]

Sounds tiring.

[@blueee6306]

Spot on girl

[@Remedy462]

Yep, this is a societal problem with not raising men and women with the same expectations of responsibility and self-sufficiency and enabling bad behavior. If you condition them early, hopefully that behavior remains intact as they get older, same for women, but sometimes people just suck and need to learn the hard way on their own or will never at all. It's complicated, messy, and alot of work.

[@alcyonae]

This might be the most valuable take currently on the internet. Men drain us of our life force, and behind every successful man there’s always a woman who made it happen for him

[@AlexisBelon]

And that’s the tea sis! Btw idk if you’re into nyc vlogs but if so, you might like mine! I’d be sooo grateful if you swung by and took a peek. 🙏 Stick around if you like!

[@pilarensi]

Yes, that’s why we shouldn’t even interact with their negative comments online. Many of them can’t even get an interaction with a woman, so a simple online comment is a lot!

[@maddart4445]

Men in business and politics are always married because men don’t trust single men. You have to be in the “married” club.

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

@@pilarensi omg you're right 😥 thx for saving me the trouble, I get petty sometimes, That is NOT my Task! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!

[@doberchic]

Saw a good point that behind everything, be it a dentist, physician, plumber, furniture! the reality behind all that is off the back of a women's unpaid labor.

[@THEVENUSASPECT]

I love being a woman, I love selfish women, I love spoiled women, and I love that we are finally having these conversations.

[@THEVENUSASPECT]

while also standing on businessssssss.

[@6lav]

😬😬😬

[@kdankness420]

​@@6lavspeak up

[@Speakup117]

❤ Literally.

[@leafyveins4985]

Same 🎉

[@shaniceokubena4975]

"Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm"

[@erin-shhmerin3704]

"The system was built for them and they're losing".

[@samanthalake5011]

Facts

[@kimberlyhess993]

7:11 “Nothing good happens when you associate with a man in survival mode.” NOTHING!!!

[@wellknown1204]

Facts!!!

[@ksis86]

If more women had the same attitude of undeserved confidence that mediocre men have, just IMAGINE what good we could do. But a lot of us are too worried about how people see us or how likeable we come across

[@user-if9fm2nz4q]

Dude literally women could do so much better

[@sophietessier8998]

There was these trending topic on china tweeter. Husband asked how can he work less at home? And bunch of guys liked it and responded, advice and all. Pretend to be bad and not knowing what to do and where to go . The most liked answers was. You have o help your wife , you have to always be there for her even too much, be overwhelming helpful but mess up every time. So your wife stop asking for your help without being mad at you because you do want to help you are just not good at these stuff. You know mother know, but you it’s just gonna be a mess. So yeah the wife will stop asking for help and even might prevent her husband to help because he’s going to mess up. That beyond evil and truly show these men’s colors. They don’t wanna be fathers but want the statue and honor of being the head of the family. And if one of the child mess up at school or is being disrespectful he will blame the mother , « how did you rase your kids ? You didn’t teach them respect » while mister was enjoy his spoiled life and not teaching his kids anything.

[@CyberMachine]

2nd time seeing someone write this but it was on Twitter. I love it bc that means women are spreading the word on men's tactics!

[@Wonderer888]

Ooh I saw that and could immediately think of men I know who act that.

[@kateq7814]

Elle has a video mentioning this tweet. Enlightening and maddening at the same time...

[@jenniferjohnston8376]

It's called 'weaponised incompetence'. Men have been doing this for years unfortunately

[@inesako258]

ty for sharing.

[@JanayNikki]

I’m building my own success. I refuse to put my goals on the back burner for no man other than my son.

[@alexussk]

Don't do it even for him

[@ComfortASMRalice]

I wish you success and happiness as a single mother, raise your little boy to be a good man with good values

[@RP-uu7oq]

I agree with the others. Be careful about putting your goals aside for your children. You can inadvertently teach them that women in their lives are supposed to sacrifice and slave away, and they will expect other women in their lives to do the same instead of cherishing them. As others have said, take care of him obviously, but be sure to take care of yourself. I know, *way* easier said than done. Do your best. I'm rooting for you mama!

[@becca53444]

This whole “I need a woman to build with me” is such bs because those same men want to start a family right after getting married, and they can’t do that if they’re broke and have no resources. No, they need to build themselves up into marriage and father material first. Then they can think about dating.

[@user-lk9vu8nl8u]

They can date and have fun. Without shmex though. It's actually very traditional to go on a date and expect nothing more than a kiss. My dad told me when he was young they would do exactly that. It's normal.

[@DandyXandy36]

3:43 my dad brags about how he’s got two medical degrees and he has as much schooling as a doctor. He brags that his expertise got him a great job overseas. But what he leaves out is that my mom’s parents paid for his schooling and my mom did everything at home. She was Super Mom 😊. And he never kept a position longer than three years 🤔

[@carlycrays2831]

This reminds me of my brother and dad. They acted like they were the shit because they were milwrights. But they had so much help! They couldn't function without people doing shit. And my brother is in prison and my dad is a wreck

[@lunarissi6605]

This video reminds me of a discussion we had in literature class one day, about how literary geniuses don't come around anymore - but then go read the diaries of Tolstoi's miserable wife-slave and you understand pretty quickly that having women cleaning up after your every move and taking care of your 12 children is basically essential for men to dedicate every day of their lives to their work, write for 15 h a day and become a literary genius. Her diaries expressing her misery over not having a life of her own are so heartbreaking, I could only stand to read a few pages.

[@chestene8090]

I remember the heartbreaking Before Sunrise Trilogy where this main guy Jesse basically came into success as a writer because of his story with his gf of a day, Celine. In the second movie, when they meet, he's still writing, and made a book off of her again when they got together. THEN in the third movie, she's a mom of two and tired and Jesse is the stereotypical dad who doesn't know jack shit about his children. In the end, Celine gets tired of his BS but because they were together for a long time, she "forgets" and both act as if they've only met for the first time, to "begin again", which wrapped up the trilogy. It was terribly depressing, and your comment reminded me of this.

[@carlycrays2831]

This is why women don't get into the trades. We have to do everything and don't have time for everything else

[@JasmineWuRealEstate]

Wow the male and female hobbies part blew my mind so true!!

[@therealmanifestelle]

🤎🤎

[@saraheb5080]

@@therealmanifestelledo you have any advice on keeping to our own hobbies? I always forget mine for mens and learn theirs and they don’t learn mine. How do we keep from losing ourselves like that?

[@Pomagranite167]

Find a man who is interested or at least cares about your hobbies. Simple. Easy to find? Not at all. But it certainly helps. Similar to how elle says to be prepared to live HIS lifestyle: choose a man whose lifestyle and hobbies are close enough to yours so that you are both happy :)

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

​@@saraheb5080 date men with similar interests or who respect and support yours.

[@naninuna7440]

my roomate tried to get me to cook for him, we were ROOMATES? I paid rent too!hello??delulu 💀

[@bridgetmakesmovies]

This is the number one reason having a child in this society never appealed to me. Balancing children while being expected to work full time and shoulder the bulk of housework sounds like pure hell.

[@kaylap.3746]

I had a wonderful, golden retriever boyfriend that treated me like a queen. HOWEVER, he is in a transition right now and doesn’t have a solid plan so we broke up. I am too old for projects and I appreciate he did not drag me along for the ride. Good men will not see you as a sacrificial lamb. As per Elle’s last video she’s right..after dating a good man I will NEVER go back to anything less.

[@4ElementGirl]

They mutually broke up. If you want stories where women are treated like objects ('back in the 50s women didn't act like this!1!") rhetoric then watch Fresh and Fit or JustPearlyThings@@digitalpain8269

[@nubian77]

@@digitalpain8269true men don’t seek to be a burden on a woman’s life. True men will build themselves up using their own resources and support system. Once they are financial fit, mentally and physically healthy, then they should seek a spouse. But dudes that don’t have their ish together should not be dating , tf lol

[@sonnenschein553]

I am not sure what to think about that. I guess I would stay with a golden retriever boyfriend, if he has such a great personality. Men are human, too, and go through hard times as we all. But: I would never again do his inner and material work for a man in a financial and private crisis again, because I did it once for 2.5 years with all my love and energy and he did not even notice, instead he felt belittled and got aggressive and resentful. So: I think I would stay, but let him do his work on his own. (If he is showing continous effort to take action for his / our future and his emotional development.)

[@ShadowCatDreams]

This is such an interesting example, I'd love to hear more about the topic of good men building and dating at the same time.

[@C4TC4T]

I just had a guy with a golden retriever personality ghost me because I ended up getting long Covid; I really thought he was caring and kind, but as soon as I became sick, he wanted nothing to do with me

[@SuperNomnomcat]

baby daddy left me with our 1 year old in california to go party in vegas. Left me with exorbidant california rent, no child care nothing to my name. I scraped together 10k got out of there and moved to mississippi out of pure necessity. Met a guy this year who is in his last year of uni and he's 2 years younger than me, despite this he takes care of me financially and is an amazing father figure to my son. He changes diapers, does groceries, pays the bills while still maintaining his grades and scholarship. He sacrafices so much for me and is incredibly generous, I'm so grateful especially coming from my situation and I hope any single mom struggling knows that not all of them are bad. btw the casey story boils my blood because even as a GROWN MAN NOW he is still lowkey slandering the CHILD MOM who stayed behind to raise their son in retrospect, like how can you sit there with all your money and success and still drag the woman who gave up her career and oportunities as a literal child.

[@aar0n709]

He needs to find someone his own age or younger. He is too young to be weighed down with a damn kid and wife. Stop this shit

[@SuperNomnomcat]

he's happy stop telling people how to live their lives, also why are you here this channel is not for you @@aar0n709

[@kanikakumari7219]

​@@aar0n709he could keep it under his pants if he didn't want kids. You don't get to run away from responsibilities just because you are young. Karma is gonna bite him on his a&&.

[@aar0n709]

@@kanikakumari7219 You didn’t read her comment thoroughly. She is dating some young college dude while being a single mother from some other bum. The young college boy needs to focus on himself and his career not taking care of some random woman with kids.

[@enlightenlife2840]

The difference is that college dude is in move and fiund a great women and stepped uo to be a great human abd partner. You cant relate because you're still a 'boy'​@aar0n709

[@rukiv3701]

I dated a guy from work once and he wanted to go 50/50. We talked in a group at work and I expressed my dissagrement about that, and he said " why would I pay the full price if we have the same salary?". I also dated a guy from college who took me on dates that were very high school level. I was so turned off. I also work in a male dominant field, and a lot of guys have this " you don't work hard, you're lazy, you need to put in more work", while they actually got to their position using connections. Men who are in their 20s ( that's my age range), I noticed are very stingy because they are still building. And you will face the consequences of that. I also dated men who are in their 30s , already settled in careers, and I received a much better treatment.

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

You should have said you have better salary❤

[@bgranger_842]

Why wouldn't you contribute 50/50? I expect 50/50 and take nothing less than that but i also contribute 50/50.

[@rukiv3701]

@@bgranger_842 why did you take me on a date if you're not gonna be a gentleman

[@karriarhapsody]

Anytime I read about a woman’s success story, it’s typically about how other women lifted them up and all community-driven. This is exactly why your content is the bomb and why I stand by many things you’ve said (I.e., be a girls girl, don't be friends with men, etc.)

[@andreaczgaleano]

This is a reminder for us women, to just consume successful stories, movies and series of just women. That's why I always skip youtube content of men HAHA

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Yah I wondered why the HUSTLE BRO vids didn’t work for me and my biz but the lady entrepreneur vids advice HAS worked.

[@Wonderer888]

Yes what we consume we become. It’s good to be selective about what we consume rather than just being passive recipients of information from anybody just because it seems like it might be interesting. Aside from the podcasts I know to be of good quality already…any guy with a mic gets skipped or ‘do not recommend channelled’ if they have some salty headline about women.

[@samanthalake5011]

💜

[@knight1706]

Thats how you stay in a echo chamber…

[@FocusedFighter777]

I dont pay them attention anymore in real life when they talk: because they never listen to me anyway. It is scary how little they know, daily, yet claim to be so smart.

[@UpwardMobility-jr9mv]

I remember reading the saying "The man doesn't rise to the woman's quality of life; the woman falls to the man's quality of life." This has rung true in every situation I've come across. Please be diligent, ladies. 💛

[@kgs2280]

Funny thing about how guys like this (and some young women/girls) will talk about the baby being “an accident”, but you never, ever hear about how guys push girls for sex, saying things like “if you REALLY loved me, you’d do this for me”, or “I’ll be in so much pain if I don’t do it”, or “I’ll pull out in time (he won’t), or the old “just the tip. I promise”, until the girl just gives in to make him stop bugging her, or the guy gets overly physical until she gives in. Just don’t fall for his BS. Make sure you’re ready and prepared, and by prepared I mean using some kind of birth control, even if he says “but I can’t feel anything if I’m wearing a condom”. Just ask him how he feels about child support, and I’ll bet he’ll back off fast! Even if he says he’ll take care of you and the baby, have him sign a contract first.

[@Juniperus_Godegara]

And if a woman would admit that those were the things he told her, she would be blamed for that, 'how could you believe him? How could you be so naive and dumb?' 'It is your fault that he could trick you '. 🙄

[@doberchic]

Also guys will "baby trap" women. This is a thing. Some will never ever admit it but the proof is in the pudding. They don't want to think about losing you so they try to knock you up.

[@kgs2280]

@@doberchic I’ve even heard of guys removing a woman’s IUD. That kind of stuff should get the guys sent to jail! That’s just one more reason I had my tubes tied. I was NOT going to take ANY chances, and no guy was going to trick me. Of course you have to have decided you don’t want children at all to do that, which I had). Some guys even say they want to “spread their seed”, like children caused by him would be such a benefit to the planet! Like guys who say they want to “pass on their name”. Every guy I’ve ever heard that from has such an ordinary last name that I just think, what’s so special about your name?

[@MoonSoshi]

What is BS?

[@kgs2280]

@@Juniperus_Godegara I HATE victim blaming.

[@stinathesaturnian]

Elle I got a man and stopped watching your videos bc of lack of time and more. not hearing your teachings on a regular had me slip up and back into being a pick me. I need to consume your content on the daily to stay dusty free 🙏

[@Zeerokool]

You got this! Pick me recovery is possible! Keep going girl!

[@therealmanifestelle]

thank you for sharing🤎

[@TruCunt]

He done pissed you off huh 😂😂😂

[@goddess_Kate]

Know your worth, add tax, shipping and handling.. 😘

[@idunablack2592]

You got this! I'm currently single but am still noticing pick me thought patterns, it's a whole journey of recovery, but I believe it's possible

[@Mavaros90]

As a woman i dont even trust Airbnbs. The owners have a key and can also put cameras wherever they please. A crazy psycho owner could come in the middle of the night. I doubt men have these concerns.

[@dangdeionn]

I had a male ask me months ago Am I willing to be his ride or die . I laughed and ghosted him.

[@pysq8]

Same. Why is dying even offered as an option? 🙄

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

​@@pysq8its not an option. Its prophecy. First he will ride you. Then you will die.

[@user-lk9vu8nl8u]

Well, it's like hearing that women historically didn't invent anything, that we never were the great composers or writers or politicians (which is not true). Men just had an opportunity to not not be the primary caretaker. All their reputation of historical greatness should take into account the fact that they don't get pregnant and don't create human beings with the resources of their own body. Being a man is not a default setting.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

If anything, as seen through early human development, the female body is Mother Nature’s default. XX vs XY. The Y is the aberration. Not bad or wrong, just I mean the deviation from the blueprint.

[@user-lk9vu8nl8u]

​@@schuylergeery-zink1923 of course! Even more than that, for example, take mitochondrial DNA. It's the proof that kids don't get genes 50/50 from mom and dad, mothers give their children more genetic information. Epigenetics and parthenogenesisis are also worth mentioning. The more you know about the world and human biology, the more apparent it becomes that women deserve to be in the center.

[@T.L.P50]

What does ur biological make up have to do with what those people accomplished throughout history

[@TheLunablackheart]

I always thought something was wrong with me when all the Billionaire "Self Made" Man tips just did not work. Did I find life just harder? Nah, turns out they just don't have to struggle because they ALWAYS have women helping them out, whether it's their mother, sister, or significant other. Women should start helping out EACH OTHER as fervently as they help and hype men in their lives.

[@AmericanDreamer]

amen!!!

[@sapphire_blue3657]

Unfortunately women won't. Mother's still value their male children more than their daughters.

[@matthewbates9629]

🤣 that’s not true at all your gender doesn’t prove who you will favor as a parent take the show liv and Maddie their parents favored their twin daughters compared to their two sons your reaching

[@TM-nb9zf]

This is interesting ... When I was on dating apps I remember getting to know a FEW guys with kids.... And you'd be surprised at how long it takes for them to mention parenting. It's such a turn off. It's almost like they don't even realize the obstacles single moms have daily. They just don't care! I'm sure most of them love their kids. But they take risks, and conduct themselves like they don't have kids because they know their kids are already taken care of by MOM

[@devilmaycry9969]

I stopped using dating apps because of the amount of married men and men with kids that would lie that are on there. The type of people that are on dating apps will often never be in a serious relationship. Meetup on a weekend night you have a better chance of a single guy with no children.

[@CyberMachine]

@@devilmaycry9969 That's not true at all. 25% of marriages start on dating apps or websites

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

I met my husband on OK Cupid almost 10 years ago. I wouldn’t have met him probs bc we lived 30 miles away indifferent cities. He had the issue of most of the women in his area were single mom nurses and I had the issue of college boys with no money or maturity. Both of us are interesting people so we connected intellectually and attracted to each other. He supported me in law school since he had a good job and good retirement benefits (green flag if he’s investing!) and then we got married! So online dating CAN work. I just went on some BAD DATES first before I met my husband 😂

[@AmericanDreamer]

@@CyberMachine do they last?

[@MeowNow494]

When I was on dating apps I would write that I was child free in my profile, I would not swipe on men that had children. I can’t tell you how many men wouldn’t mention their kids at all, but then it would come out when we were chatting. Instant unmatch wtf

[@TrinaKatracia]

37 Never dated Always wondered why I'm expected to risk my life for (edit: i.e. give birth to) a society/species that never appreciated my existence to begin with. It's about damn time I become a spoiled girlie. 😂

[@fatoudiop2880]

Period

[@carolday3381]

About the hobby example, how women’s hobbies are always in the home for the home somehow. I am a horse girl and i remember so many people who dont understand why horses. “But they take so much of your time” “They use up so much of your money that would be better spent saving for ----“ You lost your job “now you’ll finally HAVE to GET RID OF your horses” “Why would you want to ride horses?” “Wouldn’t it be easier to just go on a family vacation?” “I just dont understand,………” Like dudes and dudettes, that horse caries me on their back, looks after me, is happy to see me, eats everything i make or bring them, love it when i pet it, hug it, kiss it in public, maybe even gets jealous of other horses coming near me, ignores other humans and chooses me EVERY TIME, and when they stub their toe and need the vet they are ACTUALLY cute when they freak out like a 1 tonne baby.

[@SoVidushi]

saw a few other horsegirls in the comments and my respect just skyrocketed. I always thought horses were cool, had no idea some people hate horsegirls online until i saw memes about it.

[@orls9068]

Girl jockeys, very successful too, stables are close to my job here in Ireland,hardworking and successful women Great respect for them

[@CheerfulCheetah]

It is ridiculous how much hate horse girls/women get. Enjoy your horses. Anyone with a problem can kick rocks.

[@ThimbleFox350]

This is me but with 1 pound rats

[@katherinesavarese6009]

Stephen Crowder comes to mind: depending on his heavily pregnant ex to take care of his dogs and life behind the scenes, while he plays podcast guru all day

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Whines: “I didn’t want my wife to leave meeeee. Divorce should be illgallll. Wahhhh!!!” *abuses pregnant wife*

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

She enabled it.... he did not hold gun to her head

[@justpassingby365]

'Participation trophies' that! That is exactly how it is in my culture. How many beautiful and smart girls were given away to dusties just because they were born male. Girls are used as rehabilitation centers for men. It breaks my heart honestly, and I am grateful my parents aren't like that. They will find a beautiful girl who also has high-quality education and marry her off to a bald man in his mid 30s because their precious sons, who haven't gone to school and haven't ever worked in their lives deserve the best of the best.

[@toomuchinformation]

Where do you live?

[@shakesinthehouse]

I learn so much from my aunt’s life. She was a teacher and left her job and got married. My uncle, still acts like a bachelor. My aunt does all the work, while he chose to work away from home. Even when he visits, he would rather play golf with his buddies. My aunt had an awakening, she told me how she doesn’t even own the car she drives. And as of today, 04/01/2024, she started working again as a teacher.

[@AmericanDreamer]

yes, best of luck for her in 2024! Get free from a parasite and own her life again!

[@paulinecastillo3182]

"The system is built for them, and they're losing." LMAO so real

[@UiiMadonna]

Imagine taking responsability of most of the chores at home and business related issues for two years so your husband writes a book stating that fiber is bad for the body

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

I mean legit if I eat too much fiber I get (TMI) hemorrhoids 😬 so I eat a little/moderate amount of fiber and that’s good for me.

[@SK-le4lj]

Read this at the moment she said it 😂 hilarious

[@subratanandy2142]

​@@schuylergeery-zink1923 really?? It's the opposite for me . Whenever my diet lacks fibre ....there will be Fire and Blood 😭

[@inprogress5210]

I do advise to read books by female therapists and business women. They have more empathy and understanding of women's circumstances. On a side note: I need to get back into my old hobbies - painting, tennis, and language learning. I want to start traveling locally and internationally and learn how to play the violin.

[@Kelema86]

If a woman told the same story that Casey did everyone would judge the hell out of her for essentially abandoning her kid. It wouldn’t matter how successful she eventually got or how much she tried to make up for it later on.

[@jessenoelle262]

"She left me cause I was just such a pain in the a**." Classic below bare minimum effort man move. Anytime she thinks I ought to participate in anything, I'll just make her life hell until she leaves. In case any of us needed the reminder of that f***** up viral tweet about how awful it is when your girlfriend won't leave you no matter how hard you go out of your way to get dumped. Oh, but the best part?? Had to be his description of how they got together and "she got pregnant, like, immediately." Every ounce of his communication could not possibly have implied any louder that he HE DID NOT BELIEVE HE WAS THE FATHER. Which I'm sure was a convenient idea for him to justify why he had every right to act like a slob and make her life hell till she finally took the kid and left. And then he ran away. Again. Classic, yall.

[@The-Oneness11]

I love the advice to prioritize yourself. I tried to build with a man before and it didn't work. Once I started building and focusing on myself, I was much more successful.

[@ssance]

Hey I just want to say thank you for raising women and girls standards. My mother was a single mother to 2 children and she never brought men around us so I never got to really see a relationship due to that and I’ve never been in a romantic relationship but your videos really have helped me gain perspective and I feel when I am ready to step into the dating scene I’ll be well prepared.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

I think your mum was trying to protect you and I applaud her for that. At least you didn't see any abusive relationships.

[@ssance]

@@rejectionisprotection4448 yes she definitely was 🙏 looking back she did a lot to protect me and my sister from the world. I’m eternally grateful for her sacrifice

[@callalilly4743]

With a face only a mother could love. He should be grateful to her for life.

[@beeautifuldreamer2211]

That man became successful off the back of the mother of his child. The fact that he didn't mention anymore means he was out of sight or of mind. This is why we focus on our own success and not trying to get in a relationship with these succubus.

[@KestrelHime]

Wow this idea that "men's advice doesn't apply to women" is something I've been feeling for a long time. All my youth was wasted trying to learn from others, take others advice only to learn that these "wise men" have nothing to teach me. They have nothing to teach women because we live in fundamentally different realities. Thanks for expanding on this topic and giving me more eloquent words to explain something I already KNEW but never dared say!

[@Nitra813]

@4:10 💯 This is exactly why I take very little from men’s advice. They almost always leave out the fact that they had a woman, baby mama, or wife holding down the fort so that he could “sacrifice” and provide 🙄 Men really do believe and lead women to believe that if she pursued success she is a bad mom or not worth marrying.

[@adarateranroldan]

I read Brian Tracy’s Productivity book, and he recommended coming in early/staying late. That does work when you have kids.

[@Nitra813]

@@adarateranroldan You lost me at Brian. When men realize that cycle doesn’t work and you HAVE to have balance when you choose to have children. Like prioritizing your family and actually being present for your family makes all the difference. I get more done before noon than most people get done in a week most days with children. When you are organized and take time to PLAN your time can be maximized and you can focus your time with your children and be active in raising them. A husband and wife should be able to rearrange their daily schedule to make sure they are spending time with the children they create. Women do this all the time. I’m not convinced men are too busy to figure out how to do the same. If the desire is there it can be done. How do you expect women to do this

[@user-ds3tk1dc9p]

20:30 I think that's another reason why so many men get angry about women going out to party. Because then, someone else needs to take care of the kids/the home and we're not readily available to them. We don't look at our phones. We don't think of our poor man at home. We're not preparing dinner. Men are not used to that.

[@LuvMaude]

What is with celebrating men's struggles but shaming/not acknowledging the struggles women go through (especially single mothers)? Casey is close to son now that he older. But the relationship seems off (at least from watching old vlogs). Same goes for the likes of Elon Musk (basically abandons his own kids).

[@millieconsultancy]

Money soothes pain. Men know that as well.

[@izzi767]

Reminds me of that one guy who sits in his dark basement drinking his homemade coffee and sits there critiquing women’s spending habits……

[@eggegg8181]

Who?

[@izzi767]

@@eggegg8181 ugh forgot his name but he has a very popular yt channel where he reviews ppls “what I spend in a month”

[@ERosetoes]

Ive found a good outside hobby is kickboxing/martials arts of some kind cause it helps to know how to fight and it helps take out any aggression you might be feeling cuz of men. Best to go to women-heavy studio with women instructors.

[@CyberMachine]

If you're doing for self defense then take muay thai or jujitsu though.

[@areyouokay4306]

​@@CyberMachine hey I also want to start muay thai, but I am 18 already, is it too late now?

[@CyberMachine]

@@areyouokay4306 Absolutely not! I started at 25 and I'm still in Thailand on a professional muay thai visa. But if you're focused on self defense I'd suggest starting with one but still learning the other. They are both very important. Regular boxing is too but honestly most women don't hit strong enough to do enough damage. It's better to know key points to hit, how to take them down, or how to get away from their grasp.

[@areyouokay4306]

@@CyberMachine tysm❤️

[@suem7500]

Women are asked to sacrifice opportunity or do things that are never expected from men. For example, I got an excellent job offer a few months after graduating grad school at one of my DREAM employers. But because we'd just arrived back in our home country after my husband "sacrificed" a year (I.e. Homie took a sabbatical) I was expected to simply decline this opportunity for the sole reason that it was going to impact his career back home. Never mind that I attended an Ivy school to get access to exactly these types of opportunities. If our roles were reversed it would NEVER have been asked of him.

[@Quinn91202]

So what happened ?

[@MrsLadyLiberty]

I worked at a Buddhist retreat center called Shambhala Mountain Center (now Drala Mountain Center. They changed their name after their leader got busted doing SA on his followers). While working at Shambhala Mountain Center I witnessed the executive director Michael Gayner living lavishly in a big nice house with all of the amenities while the rest of the staff lived in squalor. This man abandoned his son in Halifax, Canada so that he could serve his spiritual leader and get rich off of donations to the center in Colorado. He saw his son once a year during the holidays when he came to visit the retreat center. He's a terrible person who uses anyone and everyone to be "successful". And when he finally stepped down as director, did he go live near his son? Nope. He moved to Boulder to continue building wealth off of his spiritual community.

[@subratanandy2142]

I mean he is following Buddha's footsteps REALLY closely. At least Buddha took his son in once he became a teen and his mom didn't have to be a single mother anymore ( she was VERY willing to let her son go after 12 years of toil ...and she was a princess) .

[@goddess_Kate]

I've been the Build-a-bear gf. Nope. Meet me at the finish line 💁‍♀️

[@AlexisBelon]

Never again! Btw idk if you’re into nyc vlogs but if so, you might like mine! I’d be sooo grateful if you swung by and took a peek. 🙏 Stick around if you like!

[@JoyandToffee]

Omg my ex I haven’t spoken to tried getting in contact w/ me saying he wanted me to be his wife that he misses me (he’s never told me to be his wife at all before) & then he started talking about his life how he isn’t living on his own anymore but with his cousin. I IMMEDIATELY ignored him. I knew exactly where that was going. I will not let a man use me financially. 😂 Plus he has a business that’s he’s trying to grow. I know he has shitty credit too and he even has a 9 yr old kid. No thanks. And he’ll be 30 this ending of the year.

[@maria1910anna]

It's even more tragic when you realize Manifestelle tells you "not all men can afford women and children" but for centuries women could afford themselves and multiple children on their own. Men have no problem with this. It's funny for them.

[@Devin_Jazzberry]

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm.”

[@toomuchinformation]

"Men are, by default, drainers of women". Say it louder for those at the back.

[@jibarabicha4853]

The worst BBMLE is the one who refuses to level up but still feels entitled for their woman to be the breadwinner, caretaker, biggest cash saver and traditional homemaker. If you are in this situation, wake the hell up and make an escape plan ASAP. They will drain every ounce of you until you burn out.

[@JessMan508]

I love this woman. I would love to hear her thoughts on stay at home dads.

[@VagabondAnne]

I recently saw a clip from a comedian joking that she would have kids if she could get a stay at home dad, but that she couldn't imagine dating a guy who WANTED to be a stay at home Dad. Taylor somebody?

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Sarra Cannon is a successful author and her husband is the primary caretaker. It CAN work. Note that he provided for her until her biz took off so she could dedicate 100% of her time to writing instead of working a crap job. He supported her 💯 so she could live her dream and now he reaps what they sowed together, too.

[@SoVidushi]

​@VagabondAnne it was in a set from Taylor Tomlinson. She is really good and I love her stuff. I think it was about how she couldn't trust most dudes who said they want to be a SAHD, because they don't really care about home-making, they just want to leech off their wives while they sit on the couch gaming all day.

[@lexilei9950]

I watched a video that was a reading of a Reddit story. And a stay-at-home dad had a wife that still did all the meal prepping still help with taking care of the children and their homework and their bath times and dinner and everything after she got home from work. He had a stay-at-home dad vlog and he would constantly talk about how it was the easiest job in the world and how women are lazy and just complaining. He even went as far as to criticize his wife's friend who was a stay-at-home wife to a husband who offered absolutely no help. That was when his wife had enough and she completely stopped doing anything at the home including Meal prepping. He completely fell apart and lost his mind but He completely fell apart and lost his mind.

[@emberk39]

Yesss. Recognizing your time is important. I spent so long of my adult years feeling guilty for not using all my free time to help others, be around for people, and felt guilty for doing me things. People took advantage of that. Work took advantage of that. Now it's time for me time and remembering my time is important

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

OMG my client today said she felt bad for her sister’s cleaning biz bc she was short employees and mentioned how she felt guilty and felt like she should help even tho she works a full time job!! I carefully told her, “you work a full time job… you shouldn’t feel bad” like not your task. It’s too much pressure!! I don’t work full time and am like NAH.

[@emberk39]

@@schuylergeery-zink1923 too real. the wanting to constantly be helping out even when you already are at zero energy

[@Amanda-xx7sj]

I’ve done couch surfing and hostels but only with a buddy, never alone. Even then I look back and think how things could have gone sideways if we ran across the wrong man.

[@AlyssaAska]

no one ever asks a man what they do for child care when they have kids and are successful. My entire career, however, everyone has always asked how I make it work. When I was with my ex, everyone said it was because I had such a great and helpful husband. I was in an extremely controlling and toxic relationship, and those comments made me think I was crazy for feeling the way I did. After we broke up, I was able to work harder and do better as a single mom.

[@SoVidushi]

new life goal unlocked: have enough resources to afford an uninterrupted, outdoor hobby for myself

[@Ss-ku8vz]

As someone who grew up in Connecticut, moving from Connecticut to New York, is not that big of a change. From the furthest point of Connecticut to New York City it’s about a 2 Hour Drive. There are plenty of people who live in Connecticut and commute to New York City for work daily. This man absolutely could’ve pursued working in New York City and still gone home to be with his family if he wanted to he just straight up abandon them and made no effort to be in their lives, even though it was completely possible.

[@Juniperus_Godegara]

Thanks fpr the context, it makes his position even worse.

[@pysq8]

He left his mother's house because he didn't want to follow rules. He didn't say they were crazy roles, or she was abusive. Just a rebellious arse with delusions of grandeur and a chip on his shoulder. Left home early and looked for his mommy anyway. Can't tell me there are no rules in Halfway Homes and couch surfing.

[@annemarz]

I am so glad you discussed this. His triumph story never sat right with me and I always wondered where the mother of his child was and what happened to her

[@LoveAndSnapple]

4:32 This is the most important part right here. Men will say all day that no one cares about men and there’s no help for them when they’re struggling but what they really mean is that their dream girl doesn’t want to stand by their side so they have no choice but to deal with some girl that they have no intention of staying with. All they need is a soft place to land to help them accomplish their goals. They know damn well that buy and large as a collective that there are plenty of women who are more than willing to step up to the plate and help them build when they’re at their lowest. It’s expected and enforced that when a man needs help accomplishing his goals and dreams that a woman will throw herself on sacrificial slab. But if a man were to do anything for you, then people would never let you forget for the rest of your days how he did that ONE thing to make your life a little easier. Lastly, that’s the reason why women who are career oriented can’t succeed. For those men who are kicked out at 18 and have to fend for themselves there are plenty upon plenty of boys and men who get to stay in their parent’s home for free working on themselves, no matter how long it takes. Meanwhile, many young girls and women are forced to enter the workforce or leave home having to focus on survival.

[@toscadonna]

My ex husband made the mistake (among many others) of telling me how I was gonna go to medical school, and he was gonna retire and live off of me. 😂 No way in hell.

[@samanthalake5011]

The nerve of him to be so boldly stupid!😜😆

[@ripple329]

“The system is built for them and they’re failing” 😭

[@FishHatFish]

The ick I get when a man claims to be a father yet never makes time for his kid. Never sees his kid. And never pays for anything for his kid.

[@Mothermochi]

🎯 this was my life. My “famous” loser did the same. Just finalized divorce. He believes he is paying too much and he is the victim. He ignores the fact that since we were dating I was working for free for his Business. Photography, shipping, admin, consulting etc. etc. then when children came along if he decided he need to work 7 days a week 24 hrs? I had no breaks. Anything that was remotely leisure, a wedding, a holiday… he sabotaged. Later became extremely manipulative and abusive. Infidelity. It’s good the be free now. Don’t waste your energy or time with someone on their come up. Cultivate, and pour into yourself. This way you will find yourself in places with individuals that are established already. I had a career that luckily I could jump back into- it’s hard but now because of the custody arrangements I actually have time to pour into myself!

[@jimpickens5936]

16:33 omg I feel this soo much! Like why do so many people just demand things and say things like they “deserve” shit from me? No. I decide what I’m willing to give, no man deserves shit from me

[@elisabethnordin]

Casey Neistat didn't even do the bare minimum of a shout out/credit: acknowledge his baby mother's sacrifice that allowed him his opportunities. He couln't even be bothered to say a few extra words and acts like some hero. Tells me all I need to know about his character.

[@AF-oq5bu]

Perfect example: Salary negotiations. They are OK for men, but most of the time and for many women, negotiation leads to negative consequences (perception of being mean and aggressive or even rescinding job offers -- it has happened!). I personally think you still should negotiate, if only to break the stereotype, but do it knowing it will not be "just business" but will be taken very much "personally".

[@hxavens4227]

elle single handedly changing lives and keeping spoiled girlies on track 💓💓

[@clara4942]

Absolutely. I adore her. She’s giving voice to the common sense so many of us were gaslighted for understanding.

[@atomic66]

A woman was aways doung the support work in the background, doing unpaid labor, and earning $ to support the men.

[@corimoon3360]

Women are the real providers and protectors.

[@KimishaIbrahim]

Yes!!!! As a woman we have kids and hardly any man that assists in their creation, does as much or sacrifices so much. My ex husband try’s to tell me to let the past stay in the past and let it go. Ok I can’t let it go for my personal peace, but I will NOT forgive everything that I went through with him. Can you honestly forgive someone that negatively affected you? No you move tf on and do bad, or good all by yourself.

[@pysq8]

Forgiveness means, despite what he did, you're okay--not what he did was okay. It's something we gotta do for ourselves bc unforgiveness is poison. But we definitely must not forget the actions and who caused them! ❤

[@matthewbates9629]

Bad actions happen in both genders it’s not gender specific it’s just that men get blamed more cause yall love to point fingers

[@matthewbates9629]

Let me give you an example a man buys a 50 million dollar house and he meets a woman who becomes his wife they get married and then divorced guess who gets the house the woman something the man worked for on HIS OWN is taken by a woman and his kids are also taken now does that seem fair to you? (The question is rhetorical don’t actually answer)

[@dominamortis1111]

@@matthewbates9629 Wouldn't that be on him for inviting a sub-par woman into his life and entering into a legally binding contract without any stipulations that if the marriage ended before death, that she gets nothing that he worked for prior to meeting her? A man that wealthy shouldn't be so stupid. I know I wouldn't be, and I doubt you would be either.