trad wives are indentured servants? - life after trad wife [broke, homeless, regret]

[@therealmanifestelle]

Click here sbird.co/47UFiaJ and use my code MANIFESTELLE to get 55% OFF your first month at Scentbird. What's your favorite fragrance? Comment below!

[@GoddessG4ng]

It doesn’t show the ingredients, unless the ingredients are what’s listed such as coconut. I have very sensitive skin and have to avoid chemicals aka anything that says “fragrance”

[@cathylake9072]

So true where is Kate???. What happened to Diana??? Never depend on a man.

[@ari3lz3pp]

If you're smart and mindful about who you partner with as a wife you won't be caught in trouble like this.

[@ifyouknowyouknow6964]

Let’s say the truth here…. Cuz I was in the same situation… there were 100 percent warning signs but these women including myself ignored tf out of them… do not and this is in relation to the other video of being in feminine energy. The moment you feel masculine or like you are taking care of a child get the fuuuuuuh out. The second you feel ugly around that person leeeeaaave, because they are going to tell you they will change but they won’t. Usually these people will suck you dry and or poison you in some way, stop the sex, stop sleeping next to each other and although you might have to go masculine for a while in order to protect yourself , you have to. And you gotta go. The other video you had about finding the right men and how they are out there is true…men always know how to figure shit out if he expects you to figure shit out of asks what you bring to the table dip tf out .

[@vogtrina]

College will NOT always be there for you my grandma is 70 at 60 she got her degree no one wants to hire her she is too old to work

[@7Mushrooms7]

People forget that the influencer trad wife arent traditional trad wives. They are influencers, that's their job and how they make their money.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

They just cosplay

[@sbfairy]

Yes! This!

[@Nashae-kz5bc]

Facts!!!

[@Tigerlily242]

Alt right influencers at that

[@emzuli7432]

Phyllis Schlafly, the original tradwife influencer, was a raging hypocrite. She not only never gave up her career as an attorney, she galavanted all over the country telling women to do the exact opposite of what she was doing.

[@hippie1252]

There's a reason the women before us fought so hard for divorce. Remember that.

[@MrsSurrealista]

THIS.

[@gorannashreen2822]

FAX

[@MakiPcr]

And owning property

[@14omoon]

Right! The older I get, the more I realize how important the women's liberation movement was

[@creengton8594]

Also after divorce was legalised, husband poisonings suspiciously went down 👀

[@dj_bae]

The man you divorce will be a completely different person than the man you married. Believe it and protect yourself.

[@HumairaAfra-qx5tv]

This is so true.

[@sarahlpw]

Underrated comment!

[@KOKOKOKfjeij]

+ He'll be everything he never was for you for the woman that comes after

[@kiwiwooq]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@summersultra]

Yikes.

[@ashwinidhamodharan9694]

I agree. I’m Indian and a common theme in Indian movies is men go for these modern girls (western clothes, educated, independent) and after marriage she’s expected to give that all up and only wear sarees and traditional clothes. I think it’s so unfair. If you want a traditional girl date a traditional girl. Don’t go for modern girls and expect them to be traditional. If we do they same thing (go for a broke, skinny guy and expect him to be rich and buff right after marriage), we’d be called dumb. I know women with masters in tech but after 20 years of being a housewife they can’t work for their degree anymore. I think it’s dumb to completely depend on a guy

[@EasyPeasyVegan]

I liked hearing your insight from India! I will have to watch some of these movies.

[@LoXena]

Even the traditional women are miserable. I used to live in a traditional Christian community and it did NOT looked good. I could sense that as a teenager how bitter they were while simultaneously shaming teenagers and younger women. It is an act. The cognitive dissonance is strong. And the husbands are either cheating, either closeted, either violent.

[@arivrindazhakshura9529]

​@EasyPeasyVegan such themes are insanely normalised in India. Girls who don't switch to the traditional values are often portrayed as antagonists/Villaness. Even if the heroine is a working woman, she wakes up early in the morning, does all the housework, cooks and cleans for a joint family, isn't opinionated, very soft spoken, views and serves her husband as her God. She also does her job well lol, but she isnt in any high position. The only redeeming part is that the husband may not be abusive and respects his wife as a person, but the relationship dynamic is still very patriarchal, husband makes the decisions.

[@boxingelfis1499]

I think it's the aspect of not caring about whom you are marrying and just focusing on how attracted to her you are. Some of us dudes, unfortunately, forego reservations or red flags that we may have when dating ladies we find very attractive. When marriage happens, that's when you find these reservations coming into play as uncrossable boundaries and attempts to change wives into their own ideal wife because they weren't thinking about who they were marrying let alone dating.

[@michelleh.5225]

So true, there was actually a Muslim guy saying this exact thing on Twitter ages ago. Like... it doesn't make logical sense. Men like that are just resentful of independent women because they know that they are not a desirable romantic partner and so they have to shame a valuable woman into being with them.

[@Usagi393]

For those interested in being a trad wife based solely on social media: 1.) These women are not trad wives. They have a job as influencers. They make their own money 2.) Ask yourself why you never see middle age women selling this lifestyle

[@meowmeow1stgen668]

Those going on social media promoting tried life lifestyles, I’ve never watched their content. But it’s quite likely that if they really are tad wives that their money would be going to their husband and they would be left with nothing. I’m not saying that’s a good strategy, but I am saying that is a likely scenario.

[@anthonypolonkay2681]

Probably because actual middle aged trad women don't tend to spend alot of time pining for attention of any kind online. Its a selection toon bias issue.

[@hildegardvonbingen9092]

I assume most women just stay at home when the kids are young and eventually return to the work force when the kids go to school.

[@fairywingsonroses]

I think another thing to consider is that many of these women are also influenced by religion, and they may not be promoting that lifestyle if their religion wasn't controlling the narrative. That's one of the things I don't like about Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith. Like them, I was raised Mormon, and all of my life decisions in that religion were made for me, even though I didn't want those decisions for myself. I always tell people that the church is not a reliable source of information, and you literally can't tell just by watching these women if they are promoting the lifestyle for themselves because they want it, or if they are promoting a religious ideology that was drilled into their brains from a young age. I feel like any woman who truly embraces the "trad wife" lifestyle purely for themselves because they want it is approaching it with much more nuance and realism. They aren't selling it as a fantastical lifestyle and are much more honest about what it really is.

[@SingingSealRiana]

​@@anthonypolonkay2681but also, because they are expired and get replaced with a younger model

[@valeriab4100]

Not only the husband can cheat or leave, because there are amazing husbands and beautiful men out there, but they could get sick, disabled, fired, bankrupt, or God forbid, pass away. I hate when someone tells women to ALWAYS have a B plan or financial security and people scream "you think all men are bad!! feminist agenda!!"" blah blah, no it's just common sense

[@PinkyMcPinksAlot]

Exactly! Apparently very few people stop and think about why various forms of insurance even exist. Its because we cannot prevent life's problems with wishful thinking! So why not provide your family w resources such as life insurance should life not go as planned?? But the fairytale propaganda around marriage encourages immature people to think they are at the finish line of "happily ever after."

[@HosCreates]

I agree , your man may not cheat or leave. my husband is type one diabetic insulin dependent his health is a balancing act . I'm trying to get a better paying job so in case something bad happens to him I won't have to live with family for a while. One gal I know had her husband pass away of cancer at only 30 she has only worked one job. she has 4 kids, her husband was a good man and friend of mine .

[@electricpocky5493]

Exactly! My family's going through the worse case scenario with my brother and his wife. She stopped her education, and decided to stay home to be a trad wife while my brother promised to take care of everything. My other siblings and I wanted her to at least look into taking classes or getting some side income just in case, but they thought everything would be fine forever. My brother is now entirely paralyzed from ALS, and we have to help my sister-in-law take care of the kids, and sign-up for assistance. It's a nightmare.

[@bmona7550]

My dad just died but thank God my mom is a nurse. We would have been homeless if she was a trad wife with no career and prospects. Even when my dad was going through his disease in the hospital her income is what helped him live longer than expected too. Men die faster so women no doubt have to have a job and be financially literate.

[@bmona7550]

​@@PinkyMcPinksAlotEven with some insurance widow relief isn't enough to pay the bills unless the widow has extra income from their career

[@pri.sci.lla.]

Giving someone the power to feed you is also giving them the power to starve you. I refuse to be in such a dependent and vulnerable position. Financial independence is in so many ways the only independence that matters.

[@Someone-qi1rr]

Don't marry someone you can't trust then

[@caissafrass6631]

@@Someone-qi1rrno, never ever go in without a backup plan. People who you think you can trust can betray you. They can also lose their livelihoods, or die. Another person is not a life plan. You absolutely need to have your own shit and your own plans.

[@saltedcharm8656]

Many of you saying this would give the government the same control. The irony.

[@xsophia22x]

@@saltedcharm8656would you be willing to do a prenup for your wife that in case of divorce she would get a house and 24 month of paid expenses for her to get on her feet after divorce? My hubby did it,word on the street is that 99% of man refused to prove that they are indeed are trust worthy. What a irony😅

[@nairamatsolo8590]

Government will not say they love u and then leave u and ur kids homeless why they have another woman​@@saltedcharm8656

[@spikey0245]

The very dangerous thing about trad wive influencers is that they aren’t even dependent on their husband. They live on that influencer income but cosplay as unemployed house wives and try to promote it to young women without talking about back up plans.🙄

[@oluwakemitoluwanimi7203]

Candance Owen ran back to you tube immediately she had her baby. She couldn't even take time to nurse her baby. That means her child is with a baby sitter. Before her last pregnancy she talked about her gen z baby sitter. Yet she is encouraging women to become stay at home mum and shun career while she clutch to her career as an influencer.

[@zigzig9938]

I think they aren’t honest that a man has to earn enough money. Many of those trad influencers obviously live in a wealthy environment and owns big kitchens. My husband is the main earner for now, but I do part time tutoring to earn extra money, because most couples need a dual income to survive.

[@summersultra]

​@@oluwakemitoluwanimi7203 Can we just talk about Candace? There is so much to unpack there.

[@janicefinch3563]

Estee Williams doesn't even make money from her social media. Also most of them aren't telling women not to make any money at all. They acknowledge that many traditional women in the past have had at home businesses. It's about prioritizing the family.

[@iamalphalim]

Yes! Thanks to the internet, women who want to try the tradwife lifestyle can and should build a stable home business first Everyone should, really 😅

[@JessicaGarcia-v6b]

My husband left me while I was pregnant with our 4th baby. I kept having children with him and staying home as he climbed the career ladder. He left me with four kids, no career skills for a 21 year old. It was so hard and it is still a struggle. It was a mistake to trust him

[@namkia205]

Men would always leave you for a barely legal girl and treat her the same once she's 30 it's sad this happened to you and no other woman told you the truth about men

[@EasyPeasyVegan]

I am so sorry you were done so horribly wrong this way. You deserve so much help and support.

[@cutebasooma]

​@namkia205 believe it or not, this is a small percentage of men. Promoting this as the norm will make men feel okay about it and women depressed before even getting into a relationship.

[@AsucaTheBLUBB]

I don't unterstand how the young women dating this type of man don't see the massive red flag.

[@cutebasooma]

@AsucaTheBLUBB it's either because they have daddy issues or because they want money.

[@boomboomclang]

I used to be a social worker and the tradwife to poverty pipeline is all too real

[@ggbellz]

wow

[@Mana-xd2tp]

Play stupid games - Win stupid prizes

[@lelamaciolek1166]

Yikes

[@Melly16yr10]

Fucking Hell 😱😡🤬

[@springbrown9769]

I bet. Men don't see how real it is.

[@crystocious6715]

Trad-wife is cosplay. It’s not how women actually lived in the 50s. If it was so great, why was the 60s such a movement? They weren’t happy with their roles.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

She wouldn't have a credit card .

[@TheShamuraja]

Yeah 😄💅🏻 A great show about this is: "Why women kill".

[@_politefrog_8892]

A huge amount had to be drugged up on coke and opioids to get through it mentally

[@CassieTranthesuperfitbabe]

There are jokes and memes on TikTok about trad wives in the 1800s-1900s celebrating the deaths of their abusive husbands (whether from war or disease). Like I don’t understand how anti-feminist women hate on feminists for giving them the autonomy to choose traditional roles and to speak up about it when women aren’t even allowed to speak at work meetings in other countries

[@decoraqueena6413]

The women that are cos playing trad wives on tiktok are imitating the ideal 50s housewife as promoted by the adverts of that time. You know, the adverts that were totally unrealistic and in no way reflected the real housewives of that time.

[@adoramae5436]

Here's what confuses me. Are we (millennials to Zennials) not the divorce baby generation? Was the message "never ever ever depend on a man to support you" not drilled into all of us from basically infancy???? I am so confused by this new rise in the idea that you should depend on your spouse with no back up plan because "I can keep them happy, and they won't leave me if i fulfill my role" Don't be a fool. Learn from your foremothers.

[@asimpnamedval4950]

I agree with this. It was also something I grew up hearing and something I want to live by. However, I also see that, since a lot of people crave that "perfect nuclear family" they lacked. Even if we grew up hearing about being independent, we also grew up being reminded that OUR house was broken and se were "the odd ones out" So a lot of people try to "make it right" bcs they think they could break that curse without realising they are repeating cycles.

[@RaqueLauren]

The message was actually "women can have it all" which meant trapping us into doing it all. Raising the kids, managing the home, working full time. That dream is a nightmare and women all over are still doing it to this day (50/50 relationships). This explains the going back trying to figure out a better way to live i.e. trad wife or childfree lifestyles etc... Basically women still haven't found the answer yet.

[@99stranger99]

Omg, thank you and THIS! I feel like we are living in twilight zone, I literally grew up knowing I'd be working and having a career. Since when did the narrative change from make your own future to let it go and be subservient???

[@qesther1241]

I’m a Jones’s generation (it’s between boomers and millennials;too late for boomers too early for millennials) my parents were boomers and married for life. But both my parents always reminded the girls (only one boy) to always have their own and not depend on a man 100%. My mom worked and so did my dad. But my dad was my mom’s 3rd husband. The first 2 were Tyrones.

[@emiliabolsas]

@@qesther1241… so Gen X? 🤔

[@diannholland]

Ladies, EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT with a rich man, and just a generous man (like My dad), Look up trusts. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Look up trusts, Study them! Look up IRAs, Study them, and GET YOUR FINANCIAL house in order. Because he may be the greatest guy that ever lived. But if you all did not set this up for yourselves, Because no one lives forever, You could be in danger. Words from my grandmother to you all, (Using the terminology our girl does here.) NOTHING scares a Below-bare-minimum man away from you quicker than a lady who knows how to manage her own finances! And NOTHING attracts Great and worthy men to you faster than a lady who already knows how to handle her finances.

[@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534]

Look up trust fraud and how to prosecute those who steal you families assets

[@jmkwm]

Thank you and thanks to your gran for those wise words 🙌

[@diannholland]

@@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534 Agreed on this as well. If you understand trusts and IRAs BEFORE visiting with a financial advisor, you will be SO much better able to know when a snake sits in front of you.

[@jessitabonita]

THIS. When I told an XY that I work at an investment firm, he started rambling about day trading like a typical crypto-bro. I smiled and nodded, while internally screaming/scoffing/laughing that day trading and what I do are not the same thing and 90% of daytraders lose money. Because of my education, experience, and FINRA licenses: he lost all credibility and all my respect/desire. 😂

[@winning3329]

Thank bestie

[@readin_ritin_rithmetic]

Historically Trad Wife was always a privilege reserved for the elite/upper middle class; it also depended on having a lower class that could be exploited.

[@zigzig9938]

I would say in most parts of the world only the wealthy wives could be trad. Most couples can’t afford to survive on one income.

[@behawiorystka98]

And trad wife often had servants, maids and cooks at disposal.

[@bmona7550]

Yeah but even those weathy women can lose everything if she has no sons to inherit her husband's estate, property, mansion, ect. Wealthy trad wives in say the victorian era didn't have it good especially if there was no sons because in many cases only men can inherit property, ect. back then. Women's lives have been held under men's hands for the longest time that even many wise grandmas today will tell their daughters and grand daughters to at least have a career to fall back on.

[@tonieja8814]

don't forget that in the past social bonds and observance of certain norms were important, in the past a husband who left his wife was doomed to social ostratism, people did not want to associate with such a person or do business, and it was very difficult to move to another city or state. today a guy doesn't even have the fear of "what people will say about him" he can do whatever he wants

[@rivka8576]

This is so apt, because a lot of people that encourage this lifestyle act like this was what all women in history had it easy.... when the truth is most women in history had to work!

[@MrsTruthTeller]

I used to feel bad that I was the girl who focused on my career and education over men and marriage. People really tried to make me feel bad about it. Today, at 35, I am BEYOND grateful for my choices. Because I'm an attorney, all of my friends who dropped out of college, got married, and had multiple kids are now calling me, crying about how to get a divorce. They are living in poverty, struggle with getting jobs, and have no way to start life over on their own. It is heartbreaking and I absolutely HATE how much society sells this false dream to young women. Literally ruining their lives for the benefit of self-serving men.

[@EdgyIntellect]

Girl I’m a 25F getting her masters degree in mental health counseling. I graduate in the fall. You have no idea how much I needed this!!!! Even at 25 I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone (I like girls) but I’m focused on getting myself together and stable. BUT even logically knowing that what I’m doing is for myself and my future I STILL feel like a loser and failure because I don’t have a house, relationship, etc like everyone else around me. I AM SO GLAD I READ YOUR COMMENT!!!!😭💜

[@MrsTruthTeller]

@@EdgyIntellect Trust me, you are doing it the right way! Get your education and career in order before you add on any major liabilities to your life. Even buying a house right now is a huge liability that could set you back. Build your foundation and make sure it’s strong enough to withstand anything. Congratulations on your educational achievements! 🎉

[@GraceHarwood88]

@@MrsTruthTeller while the manosphere is telling their male audience women are only marrying to divorce and take half. Like women are the sole beneficiaries of the marriage arrangement.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

@@GraceHarwood88 Most men don't even have half to take lol

[@LuizaLizLi]

Total razão. Infelizmente cai nessa quando eu era mais nova, adolescente,em um período que eu estava deprimida por um afastamento de um relacionamento , não foi nada tão serio como um casamento, mas me fez tão mal e, com frequencia me pergunto como teria sido o meu destino sem isso, como eu estaria melhor e ainda me sentiria eu , inocente e sonhadora, otimista. Se relacionar com pessoas erradas te destrói, você perde partes da sua alma ,é tão sério. e tão triste que constantemente digam pra gente que só seremos alguém se tivermos um homem ao lado e se formos parideiras, prestativas e cordiais prontas pra se sacrificar por todos; mesmo que você fique exausta e se afaste cada vez mais de si mesma

[@gustericaaa]

My neighbours husband died in car crash leaving her with a 5yr old and 3 month old. Luckily we have a good community here so she wasn't left jobless and penniless.

[@selrox879]

❤

[@4ElementGirl]

Yeah that's the thing, even if your husband is perfect they can still pass away.

[@nathang2465]

Life insurance and good financial planning could help a situation like this. If your husband isn’t high earning obviously being a SAH wife is not a good idea.

[@bmona7550]

​​@@nathang2465 Not all widow relief is enough to pay the bills. Not all insurance end up paying you well. I lost my dad but my mom is a nurse. What she gets from his insurance isn't enough to cover everything. Her career is literally what keeps us from being homeless

[@SemekiIzuio]

And thats why why having a big life insurance on them is just as important and back up plan as well.

[@AmyJLiang]

The cage metaphor is so important. So many guys want an accomplished woman only bc they want to be the one who shoots her down. Kinda like how a hunter will brag about the size of the deer he killed but someone who actually loved the deer would build a deer sanctuary. It's not enough to have them be impressed or compliment your accomplishments, they HAVE to nurture your growth. That's where it matters.

[@Nitra813]

🎯 💯

[@noumiiidia]

God that's totally right !!

[@adinal1958]

Exactly!

[@goddammitalana]

"Deer sanctuary" are you not aware of the massive overpopulation of deer/elk and the impact on the environment that has if it goes unchecked? Are you aware of where the vast majority of the funds that go to national parks & maintaining public wilderness areas? IT COMES FROM HUNTERS.

[@rubyrootless7324]

​@@goddammitalanaalana, have you heard of this neat thing called a metaphor

[@katarinacestmoi]

The part about men wanting me to give up something for them is so accurate and it’s usually the exact thing that attracted them to me. For example, I’m super fit but they hate how much time I spend at the gym. So … you want a hot girlfriend with a great body, but she can’t go to the gym? Make it make sense.

[@giovana4121]

Is almost like they want to destroy us, piece by piece.

[@ihanakaunotar2741]

Yep, they have complete unrealistic expectations of women.

[@katarinacestmoi]

Exactly… I’m supposed to go to bars , eat gross food, and sit and watch sports but still be attractive… hard pass. So glad I learned to love and take care of myself over listening to others.

[@canesugar911]

Gone girl

[@realglutenfree]

Yep, it's like they expect us to just throw up all the food after eating junk food and sitting on the couch with them all day to watch their games.

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

The rush to get married young "because women expire" is especially stupid because as you said, women age regardless, it's not like marriage is a magic spell that preserves your youth. If he would leave you without marriage, why wouldn't he leave you after marriage? It happens all the time.

[@furballrage595]

If anything, marriage makes women age faster, because of the stress of being with men.

[@oddi-trea6099]

​​@@duckyh9712These are the same men who try to bully female content creators vaguely defending women by telling them that no one will want them by the time they're 35, only for the creator to say she's actually older. Many aren't actually able to tell what a 35-year-old (still a relatively young person) looks like, much less judge that they're not as appealing, and it's always delicious when it happens.

[@charis6311]

@@duckyh9712 OMG I can only hope you are being ironic.

[@danaso2567]

Don't be absurd, once you are married, it's for life, nobody gets a divorce, the stats are lying to you.😂😂😂 (sarcasm)

[@purplepartytigerd1598]

Doesn't the whole "expiration date" thing apply more to our ability to produce children? I know people who use the term for our looks instead but, fertility declines as we age.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

OMG I try to tell women this ALL the time. If a man thinks older women are expired goods, why would you marry him and risk him leaving you for younger women when you get older? If a man doesn't value older women then OBVIOUSLY he won't value you when you get older. Its common sense!

[@WynneL]

Absolutely. The answer to "older women are expired damaged goods" is "I WILL BE AN OLDER WOMAN SOMEDAY." And then walking out the door to go find a real man.

[@D64nz]

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

[@anthonypolonkay2681]

The problem for your idea here is that it isn't a belief. It's just true. You aren't about to be a 40 year old lady who can compete on the dating scene with 20 year Olds. So the idea that you can just wait around to bag a guy halfway through your life isn't going to work. Because if a girl offers everything you do, but is 20 years younger them That is ball game. And I hate to shatter the notions here, but none of your job accolades add to your worth in the eyes of men. A ceo, and a cashier at Walmart have the exact same value to us men because we straight up do not care about your status in regards to your career, or finances. Men want women who are pretty, and pleseant to be around, and generally make his life feel better with having you in it. Your career really doesn't add to that in any way. And in most instances; takes away from it, because women who are to work focused definatly can't spend as much time child rearing, and other family oriented things. Which I get most of yall hate me saying that, but I am telling you that men don't want a woman who puts the family on the backseat to her job. It may be what you want out of life, and that fine, but you can't ask all of the male half to start finding it appealing. Because they won't. You'll get a few simps here and there that affirm all your choices, but that's it. The only way it does come into play is if you start essentially doing a sugar mommy situation where you pay for everything for him in exchange for relations. But at that point you are just hiring an escort with extra steps. Not actually getting a relationship. That, and the only other thing we care about is you not bringing a bunch of debt to the table. I do understand not wanting to be completely dependent on someone else. I get that. But the unfortunate truth is that it's a you can't have cake, and eat it to kind of deal. If you focus enough on your own career, or own means of self providing then you will always be sacrificing at least some things that men find appealing in women. And there are similar but different catch 22s for men as well.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

@@anthonypolonkay2681 Do you read statistics at all? Men of all age groups are more likely to date and marry women in their own age group, even when they are rich. Men keep creating this fantasy world where they get older and the women they date get younger and younger but there are NO statistics that substantiate this fantasy world that men like to regurgitate to older women. And for the record, most women in their 20s think that older men are gross. I thought that they were gross when I was in my 20s and all of my younger nieces and cousins feel the same way. Additionally, as a very in shape, very attractive and successful 38 year old attorney, I can assure you that have access to wealthy men at my age and many of them even tell me verbatim that they prefer me over a 20 year old because I’m more mature. Stop listening to podcast bros, please. This is not reality.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

​@@anthonypolonkay2681 Do you actually read any statistics on the things you talk about? Research on marriage and dating consistently shows that men tend to date and marry within their own age group more often than not. This fantasy world that men like you live in where you believe that men just keep getting older and richer while their women just keep getting younger and younger is just not reality. And that’s not my opinion, that’s based on actual US Census data on marriage and remarriage. I’m exhausted with men trying to demean women into believing that they have no worth past a certain age. I am 38 years old and I look better than some 20 year olds. I’m in shape, very attractive and I am a successful attorney, I know from personal experience that I am not without options and especially not without successful male options since Im surrounded by them in my field. And considering that my mom just got married last year at 65, it looks like those options will always be there. Please touch grass and stop listening to podcast bros. In reality, women have access to men IF we want to have access to them.

[@CassieTranthesuperfitbabe]

These men who want to cut the wings of the free birds remind me of a f**kboy’s affinity to choosing a girl who wants a committed relationship versus a girl who’s only in it for something casual…even though he only wants something casual 😭

[@summersultra]

Cassie, behave!

[@Chillikilli]

This!!

[@pixelhunter0]

😂This is some wise ass shit Cassie

[@CassieTranthesuperfitbabe]

@@summersultra "well behaved women seldom make history" - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

[@helenapayne3414]

Yes! What’s up with that!? I really don’t get it😅

[@healingpoisonbreak9984]

My mom sacrificed so much for my father, she even worked two jobs, when he got sick and reconstructed our house. When they divorced, what did she get? NOTHING. Got nothing of all those years of care and loyalty and hard work and investment on the house. Was left without a house, and she is still renting to this day.Learned a hard lesson from that.

[@EasyPeasyVegan]

You are heard. I am so so so sorry for your wonderful mother. I will keep her story in mind. Is she doing well enough to be okay currently? I hope.

[@rachelreii5952]

After nearly losing me (me passing potentially) he finally said he wanted marriage like nooo you should have known this at least two years ago. If I'm giving up all that. I gain nothing but him expecting me to work like a dog and then come home to raise my children. Without marriage so if he decides to go I'm fckd. Thankfully I didn't go for it.

[@trevnti]

How did she end up with nothing? Even with a prenup the law states one partner can’t leave the other destitute.

[@healingpoisonbreak9984]

​@@trevnti I'm not from US so the laws are different here.

[@healingpoisonbreak9984]

​@@EasyPeasyVeganthank you for your kind words❤

[@coolbreeze5683]

As a woman in her late 40s, I'm so happy that this message is becoming more mainstream. If you're a woman wanting to do what's best for herself, you'd get so many people calling you selfish, narcissistic, etc. Don't listen to those people. They're just angry and jealous of you because you're doing what they wish they could do. If a guy says he will leave if you don't want to do what he want, let him walk. These are the same guys who will leave you eventually anyway. Always live for yourself, your peace, your adventure and your knowledge because that is the right life for you.

[@ggbellz]

💜

[@andrealeon3979]

Yesssssssss ❤🎉

[@DyaOrWhateva]

My dad chased my mom all her teenagehood because she was smart and high achieving. She even ended up providing for us for a few years before while pursuing a lot of small degrees to get in better and better positions (with three kids). But the moment he got on his feet, he caged her. Gaslight her into thinking that she wanted to rest and be fully dependent on him. Then he just turned into one of the worst people all around and she can’t leave him anymore because she is fully financially dependent on him. :/ weirdest part is that he likes bringing up how many jobs she’s had and how good she was at all of them. This is not a narrative. That’s a pattern. Every single boy that married in my family is like that. Add to that the culture of polygamy and sister-wives. This is all I’ve ever seen and I’m running so fucking far away from that. No.

[@Nesquik908]

Yes run for your life 👌

[@EasyPeasyVegan]

Holy Terrifying! Is your family Mormon?? I'm guessing this based off the polygamy and sister wives part?

[@HosCreates]

the offshoots do the sister wife thing , that's the AUB , the Order and the FLDS . Mainstream Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints doesn't practice living polygamy .@@EasyPeasyVegan

[@Maya_hee]

@@EasyPeasyVegan Could be Muslim too. We also have a culture of treating women like shit and disposable

[@EasyPeasyVegan]

@@Maya_hee Wow, sickening. We have got to gather together and share our information to keep one another safe via these platforms.

[@afrofaeries]

Maybe it's my autism, but for the life of me, I can't understand why some women become stay-at-home wives, girlfriends, or mothers without a backup plan. What if your husband dies in an accident? What if he lost his job and it takes months to get a new one? What if he cheats and it surfaces? What if he turns out to be abusive to you or your loved ones? Ladies, having a backup plan IS NOT masculine, it's being smart. Life doesn't go our way, and sometimes God/the Universe throws unexpected trials. You must always be prepared for everything and trust your gut.

[@Hay_Bay]

Sometimes ppl have mental health issues that keep them in ruts and at home. Most ppl infact

[@tan89284]

It’s not your autism, my autistic friend loves the idea of being a home maker and being 100% reliant on her boyfriend for everything. She laughs and looks down on single women and women who question marriage/children.

[@etcwhatever]

Im autistic and i work from home because thats where i feel safe and not going nuts from sensory overload. I also agree with having backup plans (i go a bit overboard with planning 🤣) But i dont trust men at all. My relationships werent good and i didnt understand what was going on half the time. On the other half of the time everything was thrown on me because "im a woman". No thanks

[@mako3951]

​@@tan89284 so she wants to be a pet? I feel like there's no way to look down on others while on a leash 🤔

[@afrofaeries]

@@Hay_BayShouldn’t they not be in relationships at all if they have mental health issues?

[@SheDetective]

My ex turned very abusive, after we split I followed my dreams and make 80k+ a year, and met a new man who loves and supports me mentally. He also has a good career and already owns property, we plan to start a family in the next year or two. We will both contribute to our family, we both enjoy having a career!

[@ifinditinteresting.8709]

Oh wow. So happy for you

[@irenes8689]

Good for you! 😊

[@sofiabravo1994]

your babies are going to be first its also biological, men dont carry humans for 9 months and nurse which adds more work as a mom....you may be able to do it but your children will lack, its vital the first 3 years.

[@Qrtuop]

It's not biological for you to be chained to your kids Sophia. That's bollocks. Let your lazy husband do his 50%

[@Adardidnothingwrong]

As someone who was once engaged at 19 and promptly replaced with another teenager when I hit 22, this.

[@EasyPeasyVegan]

This. Is. Vile. You are heard and listened to. Wow, I'm really sorry you were discarded. He did you THE Largest favor

[@Taylor086]

I'm sorry this happened to you. But it's a blessing in disguise. Better than it's youe fiance who broke up with you after 3 years together. Than for your husband to leave you after 30 years and 3 kids, and leave you in debt, and give you diseases that he got from other women. You doged a bullet with that ex. You deserve much better than a man who can't commit to one woman

[@irenes8689]

What! OMG I'm sorry to hear that you went through that. It's okay Karma will get them.

[@danaso2567]

22? That's...something else

[@Hylianninetales]

@@SarahM-ku5dldoes he imply that he would leave you if you were to loose your fitness/shape? Because if he does maybe you should leave him before he does. I know its easier said than done but that would be abuse in my opinion and a major red flag. I assume expecting your partner to be somewhat fit if you are yourself is reasonable but taking it to the extreme or having your emotion for them be dependant on how you look entirely does not speak of true love and someone you should spend the rest of your life with. If thats the case he really isnt worth the effort.

[@Yooniejin88]

I grew up Mormon and only speak of my own experience. The message of “your most important role will always be in the home”was DRILLED into my mind starting at age 8. EIGHT. When I was 22 and had my first big girl job, church members (men and women but mostly men) started asking me why I wasn’t married. When I turned 30 and bought my first home, members told me a house is not a home without a family. The conditioning starts so young and if you don’t conform, they remind you. Instead, I chose to leave the church. Choosing my peace over the pressure of the patriarchy that many religions push- especially to live under the obedience to a man, with little to no back up plan. My heart breaks for that creator and hope all who feel like she does find some peace soon. ❤

[@GosuTenshi]

I also grew up Mormon. But I always hated that message and knew I would put a career first, even as a kid. Fortunately I did very well in school and had parents who were proud of that. Now I can say I am very glad I never listened to their constant lessons about getting married young to another church member and having kids as fast as possible as the ultimate goal. It would have killed me to live like a "good Mormon wife" and I would have hated it.

[@rkae282]

I’ve had a different Mormon experience. I did marry young and we do have a few kids (my choice, I love children) but my husband also prioritised my education and dreams. With his support (and my own hard work, lol) I have multiple qualifications including a law degree and a PhD, and an academic career. I know lots of Mormon women who work and pursue careers. The Church doesn’t frown on it. My name is on the house deed and my husbands business as a part owner and no one has ever suggested it shouldn’t be. There are lots of ways to be LDS and lots of different LDS experiences. I feel for the woman in the video though, hers was clearly a very negative one.

[@sleepyvessel1848]

As a little girl who was raised Mormon, I would be pressuring by other members telling me that I should get married and have kids early. My mom told me to never listen. She always told me that I could have a family when I had a career and education. I’d tell other members and they’d give me this look and just say “yeahh, okay. Just remember what your sacred duty is.” They’d almost judge my mom for instilling this lesson in me. Only as I’ve gotten older have I realized WHY my mom went against the grain of her faith. She had been caught in the same trap that many trad wives found themselves in. My father was a bum who refused to work, and when he did he would do whatever he could to get fired. My mom raised 4 kids + a husband by learning new skills and starting her own business. Keep in mind she was a brown immigrant who had to fight for the respect of a white town in the 1970s. I’ve left the church a long time ago, my mother hasn’t though. She did divorce my dad, though. My stepdad is incredibly supportive and is currently helping her work off the debt my dad left her.

[@pingu3984]

Best decision I ever made was to leave the church. It is drenched with misogyny. Leaving saved my life. I wish more people spoke about this.

[@elliephantom]

I grew up with Christian parents, a Jewish grandmother, and a Catholic grandfather. same message "be a good wife and mother, those are the most important things in life and you won't be fulfilled otherwise". BULL. complete and utter BULL. I married a protestant who had that mind set. know how that turned out? I wasn't allowed to wear shorts (in the summer... at 110°F), tank tops, makeup. I couldn't leave the house without him. I was isolated from my family and had no friends of my own, they were all his friends and if I talked to his best friend or cousin, I was accused of flirting with them, threatened with homelessness, and told, repeatedly, that talking to men made me a whore. and that's how he introduced me after he said that; "this is my wife, she used to be a whore." it took 5 years to get out. my son and I got away from him only after he hit my kid (his stepkid), and I was able to contact my mother by using a neighbors phone.

[@mariapaz6379]

if anyone who says "you will expire" run! people dont expire that person probably doesnt consider you a person, they consider you a resource. And they will do what they have to do to consume you.

[@LuxNovuz]

@@duckyh9712with this mindset are you still confused as to why women don’t want to be in relationships anymore?

[@idontcare1102]

@@duckyh9712 Well duh! Their actions speak louder than words. It has been observed and recorded. 🙄

[@just1desi]

Men view women as appliances as another Creator says when the Wife Appliance is broken they get a replacement

[@lauraporto9508]

​@@duckyh9712then most men aren't whorty of my love and affection

[@cutemedli7]

Then these same men get paranoid that women are only with them for the money. Go figure.

[@blessedwhitney]

A man who loves you (love being "wanting the best for another person") will be happy for you to finish college, knowing that one day he may be gone. Sometimes people die. Sometimes people are injured and become paralyzed. If he's claiming to provide and "protect", he needs to protect you from difficult hardships like that.

[@Someone-qi1rr]

That's why he's financially stable and gives you an allowance. With that, you are safe

[@Ineverusemychannel]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@Someone-qi1rrThat allowance ends when his relationship to you does, and sometimes even before then. His financial stability also relies in part on external factors that he does not control. Lunch money and a pat on the head is not protection and certainly not a back up plan.

[@kanikakumari7219]

​@@Someone-qi1rrwhy are you so against women working and having their own money?

[@arodemidive6195]

Right! A man who loves you is so proud to tell others about your degree, your small business, your promotion at work, your awesome accomplishments. A man who wants to take that away from you and have you solely depend on them is iffy. And if he wants to have you depend on him without putting any money aside for your provision, he's an absolute "no".

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@Someone-qi1rr An allowance is not stability nor is it security. Neither is disability or insurance which does not always pay out and is not even close to helping maintain the average lifestyle.

[@DragonRose610]

Am I the only person who doesn’t want to live staying home all day everyday? Gen Z, whether woman or man always seem to say that all women would want to stay home if they could, but that sounds like a nightmare to me.

[@abor1males]

Sounds like a trap no social interaction with others only with your spouse and children if you have any.

[@JennyferPepin]

I love my job and wouldn't quit it for staying home. I like to go to work, it fulfills my social needs while also allowing me to clock out at the end of the day. Go home and relax. It's my comfort space. Being stuck in a house all day everyday would make me depressed. And my home wouldn't be a comfort space, would feel more like a cage.

[@abor1males]

@@kattell5183 Male sure you have a back up account or income somewhere if things go left. ❤️❤️

[@Tiredttttttt]

Nah I like having a job, I’d want my husband to cover the big bills and keep me stress free and I’d do majority of the household stuff and obviously birth kids if we wanted them but I couldn’t marry a dude who doesn’t secure us financially cuz no way am I working while pregnant or sending my kids to daycare or marrying a man who I cant depend on kids or no kids, wether I work or not the bills will always be on him or I’ll stay single

[@Viegas07]

I was all day with my baby, no help and barely could walk when I was outside, feeling dizzy and lost …it was 4 years, enough, my ex said to me “ You had a great life…how could you leave!” 🤡

[@sarahharvey7844]

i only know one couple that has a real traditional marriage and that is my Aunt and Uncle who are in their 70's. They have 7 children, she stayed home, he was a plumber and supported the whole family and she stayed home. She has never pumped her own gas nor taken the garbage out, or done any manual work whatsoever. My uncle is a good man that only had eyes for his wife. NOw they travel to ARizona and Hawaii multiple times a year and he has set her up to be financially secure if he were to die before her. They are very reliant on each other. Since that is the only real traditional marriage I've seen the statistics aren't good that any one else can have one.

[@ihanakaunotar2741]

Yeah, it takes both to actually want the best to each other instead of controlling which often comes from insecurity.

[@HolisticLady-kh2im]

I've personally never known a real traditional marriage that has worked.

[@Shaphat]

Imo , it's different being an average house wife than being the type of tradwife those TikTok women are promoting. A house wife still manages her home and has her own ideas on how to handle the house hold, a trad wife influenced by TikTok can only be submissive and be happy with what the husband is willing to give even if it's not what she actually needs. Because they are expected to be stepford wives and not actual women. So no, I don't think that example counts, even the tik tok influencers are not examples of that lifestyle working cuz they are still young and pretty (plus making money off from TikTok). So anyway, traditional marriage role is different from the tradwife trend. That's my opinion tho

[@bmona7550]

She's lucky he is still alive. It would be a different story if he wasn't.

[@sarahharvey7844]

@@bmona7550 actually I think she would live the rest of her days happy if he were to pass… now if she does before him that would be a different story. He doesn’t cook for himself so he’s probably starve 🤪

[@Theloveinabubble]

My grandma lived the tradwife dream until my grandpa left her with the kids (and he was a violent alcoholic of course). She raised her 5 kids working on kitchens. She always told me to never depend financially on a man, no matter what I do, always have money for your survival

[@thimalidassanayake]

Many women would put it on fate.At least she warned.

[@bubus682]

And don't have kids. Until you know he is trust worthy and he could pay for the kids until they finish college.

[@karenabrams8986]

“A man is not a plan” is pure gold.

[@kindabent3275]

This is why i feel like even if you want to be a trad-wife, its important to have a back up plan. I come from an arab background, and we have this "trad" style, ie men provide, women stay at home. BUT my grandparents made sure all their kids got education and went to university, and got at least a degree. They believe you shouldnt be dependent on just one person, the future is unpredictable and uncertain. Your husband could be ill, get in an accident, pass away, or just straight up leave you. Then what? Stay in education everyone!! or at least be able to work for yourself :)

[@noumiiidia]

Yes exactly, I have like the same background as you , but women and everyone generally need a backup plan, and never be dependent on one person , I heard stories of men who Abandoned their trad wifes to marry strong independent women (who they hate so much en the Internet...) because trad wifes just seemed boring for them , like imagine sacrificing you whole life and you know in our society even going out is by permission so that in the end you get... nothing

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you for sharing 🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@kindabent3275]

@@7rino896 whats wrong with the video? she said everything i did, but with given examples

[@Someone-qi1rr]

Why even marry a man you don't trust? Marriage is sign of a trust and real connection. If I have a feeling that he may betray me in future, then why would I even bother being with him?

[@margueritedepompadour7031]

@@Someone-qi1rr You shouldn´t marry someone you don´t trust but you can obviously not 100% predict anyone´s future actions.

[@tambariw]

Another piece of advice I'd give trad wives/SAHMs whose husbands are filing for divorce...1) Fight for alimony AND child support 2) If the man isn't violent, go for 50/50 physical custody. Make that man be responsible for his children. Plus you'll have time to get your life back together while the kids are with him.

[@LeoDBW]

I've personally witnessed many fathers who refused to pay child support, and still wanted to see their kids occasionally or on weekends. Yeah, you're right John, you leave your working ex wife alone with two young kids 80% of the time but GOD FORBID she ask for child support, you're already doing SO MUCH taking them on weekends she should be grateful! /s 🙄

[@tambariw]

@@LeoDBW yeah, I know of some fathers like that. They chose to not physically be in their children's lives AND then will not pay child support. It's despicable. But there are ways around it. Going to court and having a good lawyer is helpful. You can actually have the child support automatically taken out from paychecks so that they actually cannot withhold. In some states, if a father is behind in child support or doesn't fulfill his physical custody, he can actually get fined and/or arrested.

[@VenusManTrap-777]

@@LeoDBW my sisters baby daddy doesn’t pay child support and he has 8 others kids with many other women. He literally comes to take out my sister’s kids once every month, it feels like. Idk why women put with with that, that’s not being a father 💀 especially with men who have many baby mamas, he doesn’t respect women.

[@HosCreates]

some states steal child support. I just read an article on it 😮‍💨@@tambariw

[@jessiematthews6339]

This really is a state-to-state thing and you need to know what your state laws regarding divorce and support actually are. My state is a NO ALIMONY state, meaning you can't get it. Ever. Even if you never worked while you were together. Even if he has ALL the money and assets and you have nothing. PROTECT YOURSELF!

[@blessedwhitney]

I notice that when trads describe trad wife, they describe many things that the tradwife does, but rarely describe what the tradhusband is supposed to be doing. Providing? Hardly, as they aren't providing for retirement. Protecting? From what, the poverty that could come if tradhusband becomes disabled from a work injury? No, they aren't talking about disability insurance.

[@rosesweetcharlotte]

What's weird is that you actually do hear about this from, like, norma stay-at-home spouces. They do tend to talk about what the guy does and how the work is distributed. Not from the trad wives

[@RickRorose]

The man’s life literally does not change with marriage. In fact it gets easier on the home front and he can focus more on work and excel ($) there vs if he was single. Add in he becomes a father ($$), lot of social perks. MEN WILL WORK IF MARRIED OR SINGLE. So when I hear men complain about being tired coming home from work and that we should expect nothing from him, like excuse me sir you’d have to do these household things if YOU WERE SINGLE. It’s like these men never left their moms and pretend to not know how to be independent. Either he’s a liar or he’s playing you, and I don’t want to be with either.

[@VenusManTrap-777]

I never understood the “protect” thing 😂 women are mostly murdered by their husbands

[@janicefinch3563]

@@VenusManTrap-777 What a dumb argument. Children face the highest risk of homicide by parents, but that doesn't make most parents murderers or change the fact that parents are supposed to love and protect their kids.

[@fatemad4012]

​@@janicefinch3563husband is stranger not your blood children are protected because they are the blood line of family so husband and also wives are more dangerous than blood relative

[@Mirdrawws]

Ever seen or heard of women who were married in the 1950s, 60s, 70s, saying that being a traditional wife or being a stahm made them happy? My grandmother was a traditional wife with no income, whenever I asked her about how it feels to be like that, she always said that her whole life was very controlled and there was a huge lack of freedom. Us spoiled girlies don't deserve to live a life like that. Always put your education first and be financially self reliant or at least financially stable. The sad reality is a man can easily replace a traditional wife, like all she does is cooking and cleaning so yeah.

[@HosCreates]

my mom was a a 90s wife. it was still the same. She was financially and verbally abused , baby trapped with 5 kids. she didn't know how to make enough money to take care of all of us without help so she stayed. she now is on disability at the young age of 54 becasue of the lack of medical care and lives in a moldy apartment because she won't move because its to exspensive to try and find another place that will take SS money .

[@Mirdrawws]

@@HosCreates omg poor women. at least our generation women should learn from their mistakes and not fall into traps like these.

[@mamaseesa3122]

My mom was born in the 40s. Her first husband was a jerk, somewhat controlling, and died when their boys were 2 and 4. She supported them as a single mom for 13 years before she met my dad. They married in the mid 80s. They had ups and downs but were very happy for 38 years. She passed from brain cancer on their anniversary. Her first husband was that old stereotype of the man controlling his wife, she didn't have a job, a car, even a driver's license. She was lucky, he was a police officer and she ended up with widow's benefits to help support her sons. But in the end when she met my dad she had a job, a car, a house, etc. And during their marriage he let her have whatever she wanted. He was raised in the same environment that produced her first husband, but he came out different. Are we products of our society? Sure. But we are also products of our parents. Raise your kids right and maybe that will fix some of society's problems.

[@kp361]

"It's always people born at the wall threatening women that we're going to hit the wall." - True words right here!

[@SS-cu8se]

As someone who was raised by a single mom, I will always have my own money. Nobody cares about you when you got kids. They are your responsibility, so make sure you are being RESPONSIBLE for them by ensuring your finances are in order, independent of whether you have a man or not.

[@actually_curious4773]

so true

[@snehasaha7259]

Trad-wife life is one hell of a risky life. As women we should never put yourselves in such vulnerable places ever.

[@Someone-qi1rr]

It's not if you know how to choose. Nothing bad about wanting a provider man.

[@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534]

Agreed

[@BenziitOfemme]

NEVER

[@leveticus1461]

​@@Someone-qi1rr 🦍🌬

[@emzuli7432]

😂​@@Someone-qi1rr

[@donotme8061]

I haven’t finished the video but I was listening to a podcast yesterday where a man married his housekeeper because he was stingy and didn’t want to pay her anymore. And the podcasters made a joke (I could tell they were being sarcastic) but even the male podcasters saying “oh yeah - I married my wife for free labor” hit really hard. And I am single and unmarried.

[@vikki8699]

This is why I refuse to clean up after men or do any of their laundry. They make the mess, they can clean it up. I just do my own. The moment a man expect free labour and hit him with an invoice for the chore he wants me to do or him. They hate it and I remind them NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE!

[@mae7532]

They really stay telling on themselves

[@JennyferPepin]

The fact there are people like that who would use others for their benefit is absolutely sickening. And they are calling women selfish for choosing to stay single.

[@faree8532]

I met a lady once who told me her husband was getting married to their housemaid! It was wild! The lady gave up work for a few years to take care of her kids. Because her husband wasn't providing enough, she decided to go back to work when the youngest was in preschool. This set her some years behind her peers, but work is work. Now because work was tasking, and she needed someone to care for the kids, she got a live in maid (it's very common in my country, Nigeria). She's starting to do well at work, then boom! Husband says he is taking a second wife. (Yes, polygamy is also a thing).She is shocked, and tries to fight it, till she discovers who her husband is getting married to - her housemaid! There's no disrespect worse than this. At this point, she would have rather he married another woman, but to have him marry her housemaid, and insist the maid will live in the same house with them?! Gosh! I gave my own piece of advice, leave with your kids. I really hope she was able to do that. Anybody who understands the dynamics knows that that was a harrowing experience for her.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

​@faree8532 why would you take the kids? This is weird. Be the weekend parent - you can get a job easier, back on your feet, go to school easier. Also, he would also appreciate your value. As long as he isn't abusive or criminal. Let him have those kids.

[@amberarzuaga6426]

Even as a small child I never saw being a trad wife as ideal. As a kid whenever I asked for something and my parents said no or " We don't have the money for that." My thought process was "I can't wait to get older so I can have a job and get it myself." Ever since then, I never want to go back to being in that childlike state of having to ask for anything I want or need.

[@_kaleido]

If a man ever approaches you wanting you to be a tradwife, tell him you expect him to be a tradhusband i.e. put aside a portion of his paycheck for you so you can go shopping... if he reacts badly to that he didn't want a tradlife in the first place I think.

[@luw5244]

My mum was a ‘trad wife’ for 8 years. It left her broke, depressed and down bad until she had had enough and got a job.

[@EmyEgy31]

this is so true, in my country Egypt many women end in the streets homeless after husband kick her out, they suffer so much. and others forced to stay in abusive marriage for the kids. my friend mother was doctor who left her job to be Trad wife, he left 16 years later for his widow coworker. she tried to work again, but its not the same after wasting many years not working.

[@ragsrare3771]

Good to see other women from Arabia here. Our countries simps for men even if they were wrong

[@EmyEgy31]

@@ragsrare3771I saw one in my country simp for men online, she got married, he abused her, stole her money and now she is divorce, they will learn to wake up one way or another. many of us brainwashed from young age to simp by society, but wake up by reality.

[@HosCreates]

I wasted 8 years of my life not going to school and working to raise my family of two . I eventually went back to school and can't find work now my kids are in school and im only 34 . Luckily my husband is a provider and a good caring man who lets me manage the money .. but if he were to become disabled or dead we would be homeless.

[@gateway2hell]

@@ragsrare3771And it’s very infuriating! You bet i’m out there giving them shit on their little sexist facebook posts. you guys should do the same

[@bmona7550]

​@@HosCreates In suggest you look into nursing or any healthcare careers.

[@Veronica24296]

Take out “love” which is a fleeting *feeling* that can change in a heartbeat and a feeling that men in particular aren’t exactly known to be swayed by- and make this partnership make financial or logical sense. You cannot. Women who fall for the trad wife scam are actually, unfortunately, delulu. With peace and love, not trying to blame the victim. Besties- wake up!!!

[@mae7532]

💯

[@Someone-qi1rr]

It's not a scam as long as the men they marry are good ones. Feminism is literally made up of men so they can use women even more. Sorry if I want to completely trust my husband and be dependent on him even tho I am the one who's gonna give birth multiple times.

[@intentionalparenting2605]

Depending on your situation financially it does make sense. I have 6 children and homeschool them. Everyone perspective is different. I’d do anything to be the one caring for my children than to work all day, send them to school and barely raising them. I’ve lived both lives. If you can work from home and still take care of your family while being at at home mom/wife. It’s best! But the truth of the matter is..:security is an illusion no matter how you try to “make it make sense “

[@briskettacos]

They're delulu, but not in the good way 😅

[@Veronica24296]

@@intentionalparenting2605 Choosing to prioritize family over financial security and independence is a personal decision, but relying solely on a spouse for financial support can be risky. It's important to have some level of independence and financial security in case things change, like a divorce or other unforeseen circumstances. So, while being a stay-at-home parent can be valuable, having skills or a backup plan is wise for everyone's peace of mind.

[@julrin7122]

As a married woman with kids, I can genuinely say this shit is not for everyone and male partners are intrinsically disappointing. Whatever decisions you make, make sure they are your own. Marry someone who at the very least makes your life easier.

[@blunttalkingoffspring]

Before you get married.. get a prenuptial agreement..I got a divorce..I lost my cars..all my things..my health insurance..he just used me..

[@the_agate_gate3782]

Yes. Marriage for women is indentured servitude. I realized that a long time ago. And it’s actually funny that a lot of people just want to stay home, considering that the effect of doing so was clearly shown by the pandemic- Isolation, listlessness, anxiety, depression. As much as not having to work is nice, my mental health has always been at its worst when I had no job.

[@Grendygirl]

My brain works better when I have something to look forward to or a pending engagement

[@trevnti]

I’m a stay at home mom. My life is work. No days off. I don’t think ppl realize that.

[@Ilovemycat25]

@@trevntiLITERALLY!!! I want to be a stay at home mom so bad. I don’t trust anyone with my children

[@pipersolanas3322]

​@@trevntiYou know it's awful lol stop telling women to waste away their life

[@geministrial950]

​@@pipersolanas3322 Reading comprehension is lost on you, huh?

[@maymay.freitas]

THE GOOD MAN AREN'T ONLINE❤❤❤ you nailed it

[@therealmanifestelle]

I mean when you think about it 🥰🫶🏽

[@clauaome25]

@@therealmanifestelle so true

[@etcwhatever]

I deleted everything except instagram (i only post landscape pics and animals) and youtube (lots of useful advice and dyi tutorials).

[@etcwhatever]

@@Someone-qi1rr this channel isnt about you. It isnt about any man.

[@stephanieg8545]

But where do you find them?😩

[@obscuraxxxx]

My mother was a traditional wife, and she divorced my dad after he gambled away our money, our home, put us in dangerous situations with dangerous people, and was abusive to my mother. It was rough, it's still rough. As fluffy as these lives look, I learned to not put my livelihood in the hands of others. Too many men show their true colours.

[@RickRorose]

The man’s life literally does not change with marriage. In fact it gets easier on the home front and he can focus more on work and excel ($) there vs if he was single. Add in he becomes a father ($$), lot of social perks. MEN WILL WORK IF MARRIED OR SINGLE. So when I hear men complain about being tired coming home from work and that we should expect nothing from him, like excuse me sir you’d have to do these household things if YOU WERE SINGLE. Either way they are working and bringing in money. However they want endless thanks for it when they get a wife, and use it as a crutch or worse as an excuse in mistreatment? It’s like these men never left their moms and pretend to not know how to be independent. Either he’s a liar, an incompetent dumb person, or he’s playing you, and I don’t want to be with any version of that.

[@ggbellz]

🎯💯👏🏼

[@garfieldroscharch]

My grandmother was a traditional woman, she stayed at home taking care of her children and guess what my grandfather did? He beat her and all her children, he arrived drunk and never gave them money. Poverty teaches you the hardest lessons.

[@haileeyyy-hm3sr]

My aunt had 3 kids from her first husband, who was a criminal. Then she got into a relationship with another guy. He was abusive. She was a stay at home mom, who didn't speak english and never completed high school. she's an immigrant from Mexico, so she literally had no idea what to do. My family ended up helping her but her situation reminds me to never rely on a man to live. She got a job & lives in a duplex now, but to this day she relies heavily on her 19 year old son to help her navigate through life.

[@antoinettemralasi1425]

After Elle said "Every woman needs FUN money and RUN money" I have been saying it to myself and other women over and over❤ BurbNBougie also said that every woman needs a "Go Bag" 🏃‍♀️

[@4ElementGirl]

Yup, never put all your eggs in 1 basket. Have backup banks, backup funds, all of that. @donk8105

[@Lady_V_C]

Wow, so true, wish I’d heard this 10 years ago

[@briskettacos]

Always have a backup plan. Even if your husband is perfect in every way now, he can still cheat later, die, develop an injury that prevents him from working, get jailed, develop mental illness, or have a midlife crisis so severe that he becomes unrecognizable. Do NOT lay your entire future hopes and dreams on one person. You have to take care of you.

[@lovely.freedom]

My mom was a sahm. My father was controlling so she never learned basic skills like driving or managing her own money. Now that my father passed she can't survive on her own. Her never married childfree older sister is independent and thriving. These life choices make a HUGE difference in your quality of life decades later!

[@kristens8718]

My mom always told me to never depend on a man and I never will. I also learned from observing her 2 marriages to never marry a lazy man that doesn't cook or clean so you're stuck doing 95% of the housework while also working full time.

[@afrinaaest]

Give your husband 40% of your love save 60% for yourself. Otherwise, you'll feel drained

[@ifinditinteresting.8709]

THIS!!! I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN SOMEWHERE

[@mariedeloine7734]

yes, i was in a relationship with a man and I gave him all my love. He was addict. He cheated on me and treat me like sheet because he knew I was in love with him. He was violent and I was scared of him.

[@agathag8985]

👏👏👏👏

[@hayleyshearer9631]

30% of your love, 70% for yourself

[@thatgoodthing]

10% to him, 90% for me

[@LoveAndSnapple]

And what I hate about women being persuaded to leave college is that both the man and woman could be in college and he somehow convinces her to leave while HE gets to stay in school while she “gets started on the family”. MFKR, why can’t *I* go first and THEN you go? Reminds me of that doctor couple who were both going to med school but he told her not to go. Two kids later he Leaves her to be with a woman…HE MET IN MED SCHOOL. More men should be grateful we don’t take them out in their sleep.

[@Pattiecakes1982]

My first husband rushed me into marriage... two months of dating he proposed. Not soon after we were married and he wanted the traditional experience. It lead to me being a divorced, broke single mom when he decided he couldn't be with a woman who had a hysterectomy after having two gorgeous babies. I worked on myself, got an education and got healthy when I met my now husband. He waited ten years until i was ready to remarry. He loves my driven, career-minded attitude, loves how I always educate myself further, he's my biggest hypeman. Never let anyone rush you into something you're not comfortable with.

[@LizG-M]

I'm 27 years old I have two boys a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I told him I want to go back to college, he said "no" .. I was shoked to his answer because I have supported him in everything since I was 23.

[@noona514]

Certain men in this online space are really angry that women want equality in relationships; women are putting their careers first and that makes them not so vulnerable in a relationship. I'm tired of them shaming or trying to scare women to settle down before 25. It's not about who gets married and has kids first. It's about who does it right!

[@Ilovemycat25]

I don’t want equality, I want to be a stay at home mom like I was made to be😔

[@calidafeuersichel1515]

@@Ilovemycat25 Good for you, if that's what you love. Still you need to make plans for the future. You can have the best hubby and awesome kids, when he gets in an acident you need to be the strong one for your family. You can still live traditionally and have a backup plan :) Like my grandma had emergency saveings and a lot of small gold coins and jewlery. In case she fell on hard times, she had those things to sell and get food for her family. With my mom and dad, she was looking for us kids, and he tended to the farm. But mum would get paid by the hour, when she helped on the farm plus got money to buy food for the family. On the other hand, we life in a world, where it's ok to not be, what we are "meant" to be ^^ you don't have to get married and have kids in order to help society.

[@Clickwrap]

@@Ilovemycat25Cool, go do it. You are free to. That’s the point of equality. That you can choose if you want that lifestyle or not. Some women (actually a lot of them) do not want that lifestyle, therefore equality is important to preserve freedom for women.

[@dodohateswater]

​@Clickwrap but the affordability is no longer there, so these women can't have the life they want.

[@geministrial950]

​@@Ilovemycat25 Then do it. Just don't come crying when it backfires. People warned you and you refused to listen.

[@TheFloffy]

In the olden times, tradwifes wanted jelewry from their husbands and lovers, cause if you need to, gold sells easy. Teaching girls "not to be like other girls, not to be greedy and vain" is a way to keep them poor.

[@hellokaumea8315]

Women in the USA are taking big decision at such a young age from an European point of vue, how are you married, sahm with multiple kids before even reach the age of 25?? Sounds so crazy to me

[@glassycreek1991]

This why there's American men traveling looking for a fresh wife while complaining that American women are burnt out.

[@sundown6748]

This is me but I’m happy that I was a young married mother because I get to have my children in my life longer and I have great relationships with them. I will start a bad boss career in a few years when they’re all in college.

[@Bardes82]

When that's the mindset that you're raised to believe is right, of course you're going to think that's how it should be.

[@driley5004]

Not me! My mom has 3 girls. I'm the only one married, none of us have kids. I just got married at 38. I never let anyone tell me I have to conform.

[@WynneL]

@@suzy1750 EXACTLY. As my dad's boss warned him before he left Georgia to work in Alabama, "Alabama is a whole other country." The USA is like 50 countries, not one.

[@flyandshy00]

To me trad wife should get allowence from a man, the amount she used to make at her job. If she made 3K, he should give her that every month. If not then you're a free scort, maid, nanny, And he WILL LEAVE YOU anyway, because men love thril of the chase a new attractiveness object, etc.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Compensate her for lost wages.

[@pauka9470]

Dont call it allowance, it gives power trip vibes, it is a part of his paycheck

[@ИмяФамилия-ф2д8ш]

The real "traditional" wives were the ones who gave their husbands an allowance. Bc traditionally women (in a healthy and well-working marriage obv - the ones that being used as an example, an ideal, something we should stive for) were the ones to control finances of the household, making sure the house in not only warm and clean but also doesn't lacks anything needed. Men earned money, gave them to their wives and recieved allowance - he gets to treat himself within a reason and she doesn't have to starve herself and her kids bc her man had too many glasses and gambled a year worth of money 😅

[@LuxNovuz]

@@ИмяФамилия-ф2д8шyou’re 100 percent correct. Since the Tudor times women have been the main bookkeepers of money. They’re the ones who kept it set up for the men to use for business, the ones who stated where that money was going to go. When why where who when. It all went through the woman of the house first.

[@SoVidushi]

I found myself romanticising this lifestyle when I was depressed, I liked the idea of taking care of people and looking pretty and having all my decisions taken for me. I still struggle with being passionate and ambitious but I know I want to do more with my life, reach my full potential and give back to my community.

[@ia7072]

Don't worry girl, I was like that, but in my house my step dad harassing me, so it boosted me to work and leave the house, when I got my driver's license and my beloved work I felt so strong that I became ambitious because I knew my potential and what I was capable of !

[@SoVidushi]

@@ia7072 happy for you girl, stay awesome

[@SoVidushi]

@@haventchangedmypfpsince2009 I'm sorry about that, take care. Rooting for you to find the right person for you and have a nice life :)

[@optimalscore]

Believe me I was in that depressive state when I was younger, and made the stupid decision to marry & have kids. It's just a phase, your neediness is a way of telling yourself that there's more for you to accomplish in this life, but it's not just being a trad wife & definitely not what society sees as normal place for a woman. I had such big dreams & high hopes for myself, now looking back I know I would've been unstoppable! But alas, here I am 17yrs later with 3kids still looking back at what could've been. I'm grateful for my kids, that is definitely something I don't regret, but the marriage part was not necessary. Oh I do have my Bachelors degree & I work full time, so I'm holding on to my autonomy that way. Goodluck sis!

[@jamiegardner9365]

OH MY JESUS. THIS. This is the wake up call I needed. I had a baby with a millionaire, I don’t work, and every time we have a fight, he threatens to leave me and not give me a dime. But I used to do hair, and he also won’t watch your child on nights and weekends, and I have no family to help. time to start saving every dime and go to school online. Wow, this really shook me. Like it was meant to I think. Thank you thank you thank you for this content and I will be subscribing and watching all of your videos.

[@janel.8921]

Ivana Trump worked in her husband’s business. He didn’t pay with cash; he paid her in dresses. He could have given her jewelry or paintings, but he didn’t want her to be able to sell these items.

[@janel.8921]

@donk8105 Imagine Ivana having a garage sale.

[@RaisingMyWildflowers]

And in the end, he buried her on a golf course to avoid taxes. . . after she died of abdominal trauma falling down the stairs.

[@livwake]

@@RaisingMyWildflowerswait she’s dead??

[@HolisticManifesting]

So grateful i hightailed it out of my ridiculous marriage. My daughters were 1 and 3 and now 15 and 17. I've not struggled like this because i saw early on that it was a sham. I have a phd now and am very successful and he barely keeps a job. Our oldest daughter is currently on a school trip in Spain, something that would have never happened with him trying to constantly conquer and best me. Dont fall for it ladies. ❤

[@andreaguillade7120]

My dad was fired from the company he'd worked for over 25 years, during one of our worst economic crises (i´m not from the USA). We went from having a rather comfortable life to struggling every month to make ends meet with only my mom's salary. My sisters and I started working then, when we were in our teens, to help out. It doesn't take men to be a**holes to bring down your stability, dad is a working guy, but with the recession and rising unemployment he just couldn't find work. If it hadn't been for mum also having a job, we'd have been a lot worse off. I and my sisters learned the hard way that you have to be able to support yourself, regardless of your marital status

[@wellknown1204]

Mom always said, got your own degree and work. Shits even my dad spent so much money to pay my tuitions just to end up a stay home wife who works 24/7 for a room and board😂. Girly, I can work as apartment maintainnce person😂, so i got room and board and get paid too

[@therealmanifestelle]

EXACTLY

[@HailHydreigon]

I got married at 38, April 2023. Nobody, and I mean, no family member, no man, not even peer pressure in my mind, could have influenced me into getting married to the first “will you marry me” that came along when I was 21, or again to my ab*sive ex when I was 27. I took care of me, worked and then found a man who treats me as an equal, and his mom as well raised him to not have his wife as a servant (I love my MIL for that). No rushing, ladies. You’re fertile all in your 40s, most of us are. There should be no pressure to have kids too. Mothers are the ones to stay awake taking care of kids anyway. Don’t let men pressure us to get married as if they’re a prize.

[@catarinasousa1815]

As an European, I can't help but wonder.. where is the state? How aren't these women with kids provided the proper help to take care of them? Also the men should be forced to pay child support if they have money

[@isabellat.7011]

yes and also where are their families? here in Europe, mom and dad would never leave you and your children homeless and penniless…

[@tjones3393]

All guys really have to do is either work jobs that pay cash or leave the state or live on an Indian reservation. They have a few options which they don't want y'all to know about but I've seen it sooo many times.

[@idontcare1102]

that's blasphemy you're speaking right now because in the US that's communism and that's bad according to the US.

[@WynneL]

@@idontcare1102 Yeah, ugh. This is why I was so happy to move to Europe from the US. The same sane social and labor protections we used to have are now "communism."

[@WynneL]

@@isabellat.7011 People in the US are being drained of generational wealth by predatory laws. Like if you accidentally overspend by a tiny amount--gasoline, a gallon of milk, a coffee and bagel--you can be fined hundreds and hundreds of dollars by the bank even if you deposit a paycheck that same day. Happened to me personally. Then there's Medicare, which is constantly under attack while medical charges are absolutely absurd like 2k dollars for a single short ambulance ride, which ensures that my mother being in the hospital means my dad can barely eat. America is abusive to its entire populace... and then people are surprised at the short tempers and ignorance.

[@neurofuker1801]

My mom is a tradwife. She always encouraged me to secure a career and what I needed to be independent before getting married and/or pregnant. That you shouldn't solely rely on a man for income. I see these tradwife wannabees on social media and just think about how ignorant and naive they are. I saw the reality of all of it... no matter how much the man loves you, it IS indentured servitude. And it's thankless work that gets taken for granted. That can wear anyone down, over time.

[@chelseajknapp]

Another thought on why men like to "cage free birds", men love through suffering and sacrifice. When a man makes YOU suffer and sacrifice THEN he feels you actually love him, and when he thinks that then he thinks he has control over you. What is love?

[@namkia205]

Love is something men don't know.

[@TechnoScorpion2137]

Baby don't hurt me No more

[@annalieff-saxby568]

If your idea of love is suffering and sacrifice, you need a new dictionary.

[@伏見猿比古-k8c]

The type men in these situations are usually narcissists who pray on others weaknesses.

[@WynneL]

@@TechnoScorpion2137 You said what I was thinking.

[@MayaMaya-tj7kw]

Staying home and cleaning sounds like something I would do if the weather outside was too bad not a lifestyle.

[@sheldonacrumb824]

SAMEEEE

[@EagleBoxx]

My mother was a stay at home wife. She got cheated on multiple times by my father, was depressed and angry all the time. But she couldn't leave, she knew she couldn't bear it finacially. She stayed but there was no love in the marriage, it was horrible and traumatizing for me to witness. My worst nightmare would be to be like my mother, trapped with a man you hate.

[@wallhagens2001]

Exactly. Saw my trad wife mom treated like shit. Would never go that route.

[@miaross7314]

These are the reasons women fought to work and have their own things.

[@dieseltu1035]

No they're not.

[@__Liza__]

I never depended on a man and never will. I used to dream about caring for a family but there is no one alive who deserves my love and care. EVERYTHING I make will be invested into ME and me only. I will sleep peacefully for many many years knowing that I can have wrinkles and grey hair at 50 without being replaced.

[@MichelleCacais]

Behind every unsuccessful woman, there is a man

[@nairamatsolo8590]

Same goes for man

[@MegaMarVerde]

@@nairamatsolo8590 nah

[@nairamatsolo8590]

@@MegaMarVerde it is true,not always is a man behind a woman success and not always there is a woman begind a mans sucess

[@MichelleCacais]

@@nairamatsolo8590 usually, it's the woman who gives up on her career to take care of the children and support her husband. We don't see a lot of examples when the man is the one who gives up his career for a woman

[@bishop51807]

LOL no take some responsibility and give yourself some power.

[@childless-gato-lady]

If I am going to be a Trad Wife, I want to be a Trad Andorian wife (Star Trek). Females enjoy an equal position in Andorian society, and they are the ones that initiate an intimate relationship.

[@jian6569]

Men used to go to the mines/war but now they try to act tough on a podcast :')

[@mjohnson1741]

😄🙌👏

[@tinycatfromhell]

Aside from the absolute vulnerability of depending solely on a man that can leave you whenever he wants, I couldn't imagine something more boring in life than staying at home all day and putting everyone else's needs before you. Even beyond dull, it sounds miserable.

[@doloresgronenberg5882]

Besides, a relationship is a thing of two, it's a partnership, the needs and feelings of both matter and both have to do their part and put in the work in the relationship and in the other person, both must care for each other, it's not a thing of one

[@LorienzoDeGarcia]

I will NEVER agree with this "trad wife" thing no matter how rosy people on Twitter make it sound. My point has always been locus of power. If one party holds too much power, it's immediately a no-no for me. "Trad wife" life means literally everything is dependant on her husband. Including money and that means freedom. At the very least DON'T GIVE UP MAKING YOUR OWN MONEY when you're married as a woman. I truly believe this.

[@Iam_Celene]

I’m not Mormon I’m a Christian and in a lot of Christian circles it’s very common especially in very strict circles it’s common that a woman doesn’t have a job even before she’s married or goes to college and a woman not getting married at 19/20 is seen as bad. I’m from the country side like a lot of these girls who have very religious families see getting educated as the devil and making your own money and being self sufficient. I would often bring up to these girls that if something happened like your husband died or whatever you are gonna need to have your own money to support you and your children

[@iceprincess2134]

What I don't understand about this whole thing, especially with the religious families, is that the convention is supposed to be that if the man leaves, abuses you, etc. your family is suppised to take you back. Where are these women's families?! I know not everyone can afford it, but many, especially Mormons, absolutely can.

[@Anarchangel349]

These communities are extremely patriarchal. They see ending a marriage as a failure on the woman’s part, even if the man was the one who engaged in harmful behavior.

[@soulfulgeocatcher]

My grandmother had seven kids and always told her girls have your own no matter what. She is religious and always brought up biblical business women .who had their own. If u don't like asking a man for money then work, invest, or start ur own business. Imagine asking for money at 40 and he is telling u to figure it out

[@nikkih4692]

"A man is not a plan"

[@Someone-qi1rr]

It is

[@halimahabubakar-sidiq142]

​@@Someone-qi1rr No it's not

[@ageofaquarius8309]

It's your demise

[@furballrage595]

​@@Someone-qi1rrYou ain't a plan, bro.

[@kairi3895]

That’s why i was always so against young marriages and mothers. Like what are you doing getting married at 18/25 ? Girl, at this age you need to get education and work experience. If you’ve met a person you love and they are actually love you back - they will give you time to get your life together and then decide if y’all still want to get married. Right person will stay and not go anywhere, and if he will leave - he wasn’t right for you anyway✋ And don’t say “women can have kids and still get education and work”😑 Why women needs to do everything with complications when men don’t ?? Remember - you cannot put “stay at home wife” on a resume anymore.. no one will hire you.

[@Lieke-mf9yh]

I really do not understand this trend among young women. I’m 60 years old and was raised by a very feminist father (who would be 97 years old if still alive 😊). He always told my sister and me ‘get an education and learn a trade so you can support yourself and your children. Because men cannot be trusted to stick around forever and a lot of women get traded in for a younger model when reaching the age of 40’. Very cynical but in my (long) life I have seen it happen again and again. I was very happy that when my husband died suddenly and left me and our 10 year old son, I still had my work and was able to pay the bills and provide for my child. I'm very sad to see young women making choices that women of my age have seen so many times and swore would never happen again 😞.

[@mjohnson1741]

Great 👍 father! My father was feminist and told me the same thing!

[@iceprincess2134]

As a SAHM and being of a more traditional background I can understand adding your husband to your business and have him run it if your priority is the home/kids, but BUT WHY WOULD YOU TAKE YOUR NAME *OFF*?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@pinkpugginz]

hope you have money tucked away

[@iceprincess2134]

@@pinkpugginz Lol! I'll be fine, thanks.

[@mjohnson1741]

She's telling her story as a cautionary tale. She was very young and raised in the Mormon cult.

[@Zuzzamma]

I am one of these women that were easily manipulated into thinking that "trad life" or a "trad wife" is the best way to live and benefit, and I am so happy that people like YOU, ELLE made that bubble of illusion pop, cause that in fact might be even worst than 50/50 life, not an upgrade but a trap...

[@AndyCroat-v6d]

It's the trad trap!

[@WynneL]

@@AndyCroat-v6d We need to normalize the phrase "trap wife."

[@WhispyWinters]

'Don't depend on [anyone] for money because it can possibly pave the way for abuse, manipulation, and blackmail.' Ooh how my parents were so right. Teachings about finance and dependency should start from home. I was 15 and I thought I was so grown. Lil miss 'I'll learn this info in school. Can I go chill with my friends now?' PFT. They were looking at me like 'if you don't sit your behind down rn & come learn about money & effective ways to make it.'

[@thimalidassanayake]

Claps for your parents

[@jessicafang3273]

My mom is a trad wife and even though my dad is the greatest dad and husband ever.( He gets allowance from my mom and our house and the family car are in my mom’s name) My mom was still very psychologically insecure because she felt like it is her job to satisfy my grandma’s every need and assure the success of academic performance for my sister and I. During our high school years my dad often had to go on business trips and taking care of the whole family was left to my mom. She would often cry about how useless she felt and talk about how she felt that because she wasn’t working she had to or the perfect housewife or she felt like a failure. Those episodes my mom had scarred me permanently and it was then when I realized that being a housewife is really scary not only for financial reasons but also because of social stigma and emotional loneliness. Dunno if this is related to the topic but this is another side to being a tradwife that doesn’t get talked about.

[@nemesisraxler420]

My bestfriend mom got the typical tradwife journey. She got into a extremely good school, graduated, was supposed to become an ambassador. She meet a wealthy men, he told her to stop working to take care of the family, 4 kids later he decided to cheat on her with an other woman, she now in her 60’s, no husband, having a middle wage job because she got no experience and her ex-husband is fulfilling their dream of having a beautiful house in the south of france with is now new wife …

[@YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999]

Well if she doesn't get a lawyer that's on her.

[@nemesisraxler420]

@@YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999 we don’t live in the US, you can’t get a lawyer and win money for whatever reason you want. They got divorced and that’s it.

[@YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999]

@@nemesisraxler420 well I don't know French law but it's just hard for me to believe she couldn't get a divorce lawyer to ensure she got a good settlement. I'm sorry to hear of her situation but there's a reason divorce lawyers exist. Certainly under French law she's entitled to a significant divorce settlement, or so I would think.

[@nemesisraxler420]

@@YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999 To be precise she actually got a really big home after the divorce and she lived there few years with her 2 youngest children’s but it’s was too expensive for her to keep the house. So she sell it and now little by little she’s starting a new life in Paris. So she got some compensation for the kids and her but nothing enough to keep her old lifestyle. :/

[@noumiiidia]

Well , if women in the west who are trad wifes ends up like this , i will sure go finish my homeworks 😅😂😂 (3rd worlg girl here 😅)

[@alwaysyouramanda]

🥹❤️ never give up on yourself or your dreams-! Whatever they may be!

[@therealmanifestelle]

Get that bag bestie 🫶🏽

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Invest in your education 💖 also if you WANT kids as Elle has covered the woman’s education is correlated with her children’s education and success NOT the man. And marry for lifestyle and values, if you want marriage. I’m a lawyer and don’t even regret the student loans it took for my skill set, education, and network.

[@glassycreek1991]

Yes please focus on yourself no matter how strong the USD is in your country's economy. Because even if you succeed in getting the green card and immigrate to a first world country, you would have to deal with the cost of living at first world standards. In the USA the cost of raising a family is extremely expensive and our men are not as understanding of economic responsibilities a family demands. American women understand this and this is why these Pbros complain about us being too picky, too burnt out and too masculine.

[@Janehaver]

Do it! Also from a 3rd world country but admittedly I am privileged. Still, don't give away your autonomy and education is a BIG one x

[@hannahr7198]

This space you have created for the spoiled girlies is so special and I am so appreciative of you. I love that you take the time to thank these women doing us the honor of sharing their stories so we can learn from them without experiencing their suffering first hand. We honor this woman’s bravery and vulnerability by learning from it. She never had to expose herself to the criticism and scrutiny of the internet the way she did and the least we can do is take her warning to heart and protect ourselves as women. Amazing video as always.

[@sondrabaz9509]

I was married at 19, to a man my parents basically hand picked. The only reason I had an opportunity to work or have any type of experience outside of home maker was because I struggled to get pregnant. I still had children on the young side, I turned 23 one month before my oldest daughter was born. I was miserable, I was lonely, I was stuck. I stayed for so long because I was dependent on him. I stayed because my parents were not a safe place for me. I was married to him for 16 years. When I left, I had nothing, I was scared, I had two daughters,13 and 12 years old. Now, I am happily remarried and in an amazing career. I encourage my daughters to make their own path. If they make a choice and then need a safe space, their bonus dad and I are here for them. Their bio dad completely disappeared when I left him. I am grateful that my daughters have their heads on straight and are making their own ways.

[@iga3506]

i remember when i learnt a quote from polish writer and feminist "study if you can, develop your skills if you can and think about being enough for yourself, because no one is waiting for you with care and support when you need it." (sorry for poor translation) and it genuinely changed the way i view the world.

[@kumikor3392]

My mom was a SAHM, and her ex was so miserable he gambled rent money, committed fraud, in and out of prison, etc. He left us the week of Christmas and told us he stole the rent money and left her with an eviction notice. I learned from that lengthy bout of homelessness and house hopping as a child that i can't rely on a man, especially a man's fickle emotions.