These Childhood Experiences Aren’t Easy To Tell....

[@ChynnaPhillipsBaldwin]

Proverbs 19:1 Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.

[@TheMerFree]

I LOVE this Proverb. It's like a holy "arrow" straight to the heart.

[@karenburns9952]

❤️❤️❤️😇

[@marychavez5982]

Amen 🙏😇🥰 ... As I get older (66) Vanity is not as important as my spiritual relationship with Christ and quality of life

[@F417H]

~🕯️~

[@lyncastleheights1521]

Chynna in the past three weeks in between watching California Preachin I have been dealing with a mother who does not take care of her three kids. She mistreats them. She drives up to 100 mph with them in her car. She talks about rapes and sex in front of them all day. the list is long. I talked to DHS Child protection but this woman has a relationship (maybe romantic) with this worker and this worker gets her off from the inside. HELP? these kids will be dead what do you do when the mother is unfit, abuses them, neglects them and the system is blocked from helping them. Help, what can I do?

[@lilactreehouse]

I'm so glad you found Jesus. You will be used by God to be a witness to so many people including your family members.

[@marychavez5982]

Amen 🙏

[@christinemarie6976]

As a teen in the 70's, I thought rock stars were so very glamorous. I was 20 when Papa John's book came out, which I snapped up immediately. By the time I finished reading it, I was truly horrified. The stark reality of the lives some rock people lead is nothing short of tragic.

[@lindaobrien2659]

Excellent book.

[@Vigilantwarrior42]

Exactly and that doesn’t touch the surface for many

[@MooseCall]

So horrible for a child to be forced to witness such depravity. You are so strong and brave for sharing your personal stories with us.

[@nancylyon-gray3499]

My mother was not an addict but her father was. She was so messed up and mean her entire life. When she was dying, Hospice quit twice. Addiction hurts generations. Hang in there and be calm within yourself. You are loved. Peace of Christ.

[@susiesoiree4331]

Addiction is no joke and can have those generational effects. Thank you Chynna for having the courage and honesty to share this painful memory with us. You are definitely not alone.

[@MarJo333]

Your momma could've benefitted from al-anon...im so sorry to know she passed...addiction is awful...I hurt so many people...

[@jeanniejones4869]

Oh Chynna you really struck a strong emotion in me with this video. My dad was an alcoholic and my mom was very verbally abusive to us 6 kids. Ill never forget failing my written drivers permit test and my dad cussing me out in the DMV and telling me how stupid I was in front of everyone.My sister and I cleaned the whole house one day when our parents were gone and when they got back our mom cussed us out because we hung her clothes up wrong.Like you there are many stories to tell. I looked for love in all the wrong places in my twenties but finally at 32 found a loving man and we got married and got baptized together and raised our 5 kids. I still have pain but have forgiven my parents and they actually taught me what not to do as a parent. Thank you and God bless you! Praying your broken pieces get put back together 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

[@EphemeralProductions]

Sorry my dear, that that happened to you. I’ve had people say those same type of things to me, my mom especially but also many others. We just live in a very narcissistic abusive culture, for some reason. Such people should not have children, it wounds the child for life when they do that stuff. Anyway sorry again and i pray you have been able to forgive them and move on in life, for your own benefit

[@jeanniejones4869]

@@EphemeralProductions thank you. Same to you. Im sure God allows things for a reason and I believe it is so we can help others through things like Chynna is doing through her youtube channel.

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

@@jeanniejones4869 I hope you were able to overcome those early experiences and have surrounded yourself with loving, caring and supportive people. Sometimes we have to look for those outside our family and create a community of like minded souls 💕

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

@@EphemeralProductions I do pray that more than forgiveness, you’ve found true healing and ow have loving, arming people in your life 💕

[@jeanniejones4869]

@@FreedomofSpeech865 thank you and yes I have. And I am very close to my siblings as well 😍

[@SteveChapman1204]

Wow Chynna, such an honest and articulate back story, I was riveted.. Don't apologize for anything.

[@ellestudio7182]

It's not an accident that I have discovered CalPreach at this most difficult part of my life, that seem to be parallelling yours. Thank you for sharing so openly. I do not relish having to tell anyone about my traumas, but see now that therapy is the way to go. Can't thank you enough.

[@annomaly751]

How’s it going lately Elle?

[@marisa0478]

Oh Chynna, I feel like God was protecting you by allowing your father to leave you..I’m so happy you had your mother to love you and protect you and your little brother. Jesus (and your mother) SAVED you from so much more trauma. ❤️

[@cdhphotographylifestylefil7708]

I do too and he was protecting you from himself. 🥺❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jan2024-n4f]

Yes! Hallelujah!

[@charmee4045]

Your mother did not protect you don't believe it for a minute. I have yet to hear her apologize for anything and until she does your pain with endure.....

[@annabinkley2062]

@@charmee4045 s

[@leftybelle7022]

Thinking of that child sitting on the floor hungry...😔 Thank God you and your mother were there to care for him.

[@conniemorales4071]

I’m sorry that someone was offended by Holy Spirit Activate but I wanted you to know that I was having a day where I felt lonely so I was catching up on Cal Preach and I found myself singing it as loud as I could in my kitchen. So thank you 🙏🏼

[@TheMerFree]

Chynna--wow. Just wow. You are an absolute treasure of a person. Thank you for sharing something so hard. No child should have to endure the horrors of drugs, neglect, or abuse. I appreciate your struggle, vulnerability, and strength. I am praising God right now that Jesus chose you and saved you. You are my sister in Christ! God bless you.

[@SisterLiberty]

Your honesty is so refreshing. God bless you China girl. ❤

[@CassieDavis613]

I do not cry easily--seldom cry, but the story about your brother was heartbreaking.

[@addicted367]

Seeing her cry got me 💔😢

[@studiokohl1]

My grandmother use to take care of kids and one girl she started sitting at 3 months old. The parents had Adopted her but had a trip planned. So they still went...duh, cause thats what you do. Well my grandmother started watching her on a regular basis, usually over the weekend when they went to the lake on their boat. There were many time they would come to puck her up totally wasted. My grandmother would tell them, oh she just fell asleep can we just bring her home in the morning. The little girl(who i still know at 54) and i both respected grandma so much for doing that. Like your mother, it makes you look at them differently.

[@kellybode4812]

MONDAY MUNDY, GOOD FOR YOUR GRANDMOTHER. I ALWAYS SAID,SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE PARENTS( MY OPINION )

[@cathypaul5349]

God Bless Your Grandmother.

[@studiokohl1]

Thank you both. Grandma Katie was everyone grandma. I could write a book on all the things she did. Kids and babies were everything to her. She raised 2 kids that my grandfather (loyal)had when he was in the army. He left her with 2 small kids in 1943 i think. 1946...47 and 48 he still hadn'tcome home yet. My grandmotherbecamefriendswith another man and her sister in law ended up hiring a private investor to find grandpa. They found him in Mississippi shaking up with a woman who at this point had 2 kids. He came back to az and back to grandma. The other man was a much better man but she stayed with the father of her kids. Then she found out the woman in Mississippi put the boys she had up for adoption and skipped town. So grandma told Loyal to go get those babies. When he was walking up to the orphanage the oldest boy was on a trike out front...(and it had been over a year) he pointed thats my daddy. And it was. So my grandmother and grandfather adopted the 2 boys and she raised them as her own. I really didnt even know all of this until i was an adult. I think people looked at life so much differently back then. My grandmother was born in denver and raised in the depression all over Colorado and Wyoming. They came to Arizona in 28 to warm up. Boy did they warm up. Some of the family moved to California, that was a smarter move in my opinion. Lol

[@marycook1644]

@@studiokohl1 All I can say is WOW !! Blessings from Orange County. 🕊

[@emmaphilo4049]

Some adults just do great things to counteract other adults failures... Bless your grandma 🙏

[@tinajaspan3023]

Thank you for being so transparent. You are a woman of valor, an inspiration and are helping so many.

[@sharoncrawford3042]

Druggies should never be able to have children around them.

[@amylh322]

A lot of people shouldn't. Some are the people who look like solid citizens on the outside. But "druggies" are also loved by God. They aren't a special kind of Unforgivable People. Everyone is trying is trying to fill that God-shaped hole. My Uncle overdosed and died, and was one of the people I loved the most in this world. The loss of so much potential sucks. I miss him. Because struggling with addiction was not what defined him.

[@fancysfolly554]

@@amylh322 God bless you for these words. I truly believe drug addiction is a kind of mental illness. But I also believe that children should be protected from drug addicted people...their visits must be monitored. Just because the severely addicted r not rational at times.

[@kam0406]

I agree. But you can't legislate this. People are on drugs and this included prescription meds. There are even psych drugs that can cause rage and personality issues. There is no easy answers. Pray.

[@samanthab1923]

Why do they even want you to visit if this is what they are doing?

[@amandazplace5663]

I felt physically sick to my stomach hearing about your brother going hungry. How aweful! Having a parent be so unreliable, irresponsible, and abusive is devastating. If anyone is watching this & you are experiencing this, as a child or a parent, please, please get help! Help is available! May all who suffer this way come to know their Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ. He never leaves us alone in our suffering

[@laurabaker9468]

I felt physically sick too. That was so pitiful so glad you and mom walked in at the right time. Thank you Jesus 🙌

[@wallysmith6344]

Absolutely you can get help with child/ CPTSD from child hood trauma.💖 EMDR

[@surimoskowitz3249]

Wow did John phillips mess up so many people chynna you are wonderful and will make it please hold on to your family and especially billy

[@samanthab1923]

It is amazing all his children are close though.

[@annahaynes7226]

Chynna, you are so precious to God. You are such a blessing to everyone who watches this channel. I thank God for the platform he has given you. Your honesty is a sacrifice poured out to God. You are his beloved daughter. I love your boldness for him. You probably don't even see but others do.

[@laurie2968]

Being a sensitive person is a precious gift, even though it is often looked at as being weak. Your videos continue to help me. Thank you for sharing. 💖

[@lorajiron6725]

Wow. I absolutely LOVE what you said that “trauma is really layered.” So deep and it gives us the opportunity to give ourselves grace. Jesus scoops us into His arms when we feel neglected and are hungry. He provides us sustenance and comfort when we feel so alone!

[@marieanthony4349]

I LOVE “Holy Spirit Activate”. There will always be critics and self righteous judgers. Sing away.

[@Tawadeb]

I love it too.

[@jamierobert2386]

Chynna, I just wanted to say your heart illuminates so much goodness and kindness.

[@evangeline3152]

People will misunderstand your intentions but God never will!! Your story about your brother made me cry too. Therapy will bring up so much but don’t give up. We have to go through it to deal with it.

[@fearandloathing75]

So your childhood was like mine. Now imagine how many others shared the same childhood. It was a cultural hell our parents were in and the reasons and answers are complex. Education helps us understand snd survive it. Peace of Christ Chynna.

[@KAZHE63]

Yes, so many of us out there!!

[@marycook1644]

Education and the Lord !! 🕊🎶

[@dianer558]

Dearest sister... You are gorgeous inside and out!!! You are His precious daughter. Such difficult memories come to us at different times. Out of no where we have a memory that is so painful it's imbedded. Through Christ, He has given us grace that is sufficient to handle it all!!! I must remember the good times and the blessings. He has sustained us and continues to walk with us on our way. He was always there, when we didn't feel close to Him. Thank you Jesus!!! I must remind myself that His dying for us, means that we too will conquer death. Joy of everlasting life!! Amen, Amen , Amen Death is swallowed up in victor un O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? Hugs to you sister Chy!!! Blessings in abundance I'm so grateful for you. Holy Spirit activate, Holy Spirit activate..activate, activate 🙏🏻❤️

[@ChynnaPhillipsBaldwin]

I love you so much Diane! 🌺

[@dianer558]

Chynna Phillips Baldwin love you too !!🌸

[@salgaldenco]

@@ChynnaPhillipsBaldwin Where is the episode about John kidnapping his son? How is this boy/man doing in life now?

[@traceeskibell7319]

So I keep coming back to see more posts. The religious isn’t what draws me. It you sharing your truth and willing to be vulnerable. It helps. Thank you.

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

Same here, I love her honesty and openness. It is very healing.

[@lindamessmer4257]

Amen and Amen🙏🙏

[@kmrnnj1]

@@FreedomofSpeech865 Jesus gave that to her

[@lisashrestha5023]

Same for me.

[@fireworks4993]

Her fame gives her this power she believes in Jesus Christ and still having her own focus on the word.

[@cindylou3404]

Thank God your mom watched over your little brother..there are so many children suffering similarly every day right now. I pray our precious Lord Jesus hold them and protect them 🙏

[@peggybeirise8388]

Chynna, you are an amazing human being! I love your messages!

[@davisneves]

I can’t imagine having a beautiful daughter like Chynna & not giving her the love she needs 🥺 God Bless You! Thank You for being you & sharing your stories with us to break these cycles ✨🙏🏼✨

[@loismailletlynn6079]

drugs

[@jennifermcinnis2198]

Holy Spirit activate song is cute. I do find myself singing it when I am low. Fill the void with God, even when you don't want to. That is a sincere prayer.

[@jacquelinebradley164]

Your transparency is such a beautiful thing Chynna. You do help many being by just being you. That's why Jesus called you for such a time as this. God bless you sweet sister. You are beautiful!!!!!!!!🙏 ❤️🕊️🌹

[@WilliamHarris-yy2cr]

Chunks, I am a 67 yo man and I just want to tell you that your videos inspire me. I watched one recently where you talked about the strength of faith. My faith has always wavered and as a consequence made me doubt my salvation at times. What you said made me realize that my salvation is not based on the strength of my faith. It is based on the strength of the Blood of Jesus. It was a true ah-ha moment. Thank you for that. Blessings

[@WilliamHarris-yy2cr]

I typed in Chynna... stupid spell check!

[@lw4910]

I’m so amazed by you Chynna. I also had a traumatic life. My dad was mentally ill and I still have PTSD. I’m the one you mentioned who is sensitive and easily held to emotion. But I’m so grateful I have Christ. He is seeing me through and I keep remembering what you said FROG- you are beautiful Chynna! Thank you for this!

[@marybethduke3263]

I love that you sing, "Holy Spirit, Activate!" 🎉 We should all sing it all the time!!! God bless you, Chynna!

[@sandiwatson6534]

❤️ Singing “Holy Spirit Activate” energies me too. I catch myself singing it ❣️

[@louannestenson1286]

You are brave for sharing your struggles and sadness. You are a great role model for me. Thank you for showing your vulnerability and how you can survive.

[@christinedawnbrown8248]

Thanks for sharing these difficult memories... Childhood trauma affects us our entire lives... therapy helps process our past...God bless you...

[@jasminearmstrong2855]

Oh Chynna, that must have been so awful finding your little brother like that. It's good Mama Michelle cared so much for him and you. Jesus was guiding her, even if she didn't know it at the time. It's so difficult to have a parent who has to be a realist, like your mom, and one who always breaks your heart, like your dad. I care deeply about you and what you have gone through. I have had a lot of trauma, being bullied, losing a baby, having to settle for a master's degree instead of a doctorate I put in 6 years of work toward, and most of all, developing Congestive Heart Failure in 2018. I feel Jesus loves me no matter what. I have felt him in the hospital, in times when I cry.

[@robinbewley9096]

There is an episode on intervention where the parents left on a drug binge, and the eldest daughter was making a toffee( brown sugar+ butter) cuz thats all they had in the cupboard..to feed to her younger sisters...no..I repeat no child showed have to have that responsibility..and people wonder why drug addiction is so prevelent...( to forget your past)..... tyfs your stories...drug addiction has no bounderies...and quit apologizing for the tears..we r human, and have feelings...

[@teresarodriguez821]

Chyna your sister McKenzie came out with her story many years ago and the world supported her. Your trauma was paid for on the cross, you are still reliving some bits of this trauma, you deserve the respect and love of that little child that was so innocent. The Lord has given you a platform to the world, be kind to yourself you are loved.

[@seeshellslife7273]

Thru your bravery talking about your childhood , you are helping others, and it helps you to. You are a strong person!! You have beautiful children, a wonderful husband, an adorable doggie, and your faith in Jesus Christ!!! Keep being amazing!!

[@gg3596]

One's personal testimony is a gift from God that we share with other when His Holy Spirit moves us to do so✝️💕

[@loveit8602]

you inspire me so much. you have been through so many trials and tribulations but still radiate so much love to the world. you have such a way with words - the way you described those scenarios, especially with your brother with the eggs and flour on the floor...my heart just broke, so totally. I know you say your intent is not to make us feel sorry for you. I don't. But you bringing it up makes me think of abuse/unkindness I experienced when I was a young child up until I was a young adult and still tolerating toxic behavior from people who knew better than to treat others like s***. i know john made billions of people happy with his music but he left so much strife, misery and turmoil in his wake that people are still dealing years and years later. And it's not just him. i will never understand what makes people make such bad decisions that hurt so many of us well-meaning, benign people (especially when we are young, innocent children). I know people say "God only gives you what you can handle" but part of me thinks...why should we have to experience such bad things? Why? Thank you Chynna for your honestly. Sorry I always write so much in your comments. On a happier note, I love your hair in the double buns!!! But you have the perfect, classic face shape that can rock any hair style and make it seem chic and effortless - super long, double bun, bowl cut, bangs and then no bangs. You lucky!! You got those supermodel features, girl!!

[@carolinelvsewe]

His word does not return void. Thank you for sharing. You are blessing!❤️

[@KristinEspinasse]

Thank you, Chynna. I am binge watching all of your videos, which have me thinking about my walk with God. Also, I asked my doctor what the spots on my hands were. She said, “Here (in France) we call them cemetery flowers!”

[@PizzaRoyalty]

Chynna, once again...know this...your transparency is helping those that feel isolated by similar experiences. Thank you for sharing. This scripture came to my mind. 2 Corinthians 12:9. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

[@Awurabena1]

Thanks Teresa. Indeed!

[@trishaseaton351]

That’s a great selection! 2Corinthians 12:9.

[@lauram6844]

I always say this to myself when my trauma comes to my mind - “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43... Makes me sick that Adults don't know how to act and leave adults trying to sort through the mess they made.

[@Baxfam1]

Thank you for posting this verse it spoke so much to me reading it

[@Julie-yd4yj]

yes, it did, Aletheia

[@7mandoblu]

Forget the haters, Holy Spirit Activate!!! 💯

[@jeanmeizel8895]

Abandonment.....Just that alone by your father takes a lifetime to work through...I know my father left after I was 8 years old. How fortunate you have been able to have a man and family in your life to help with the hurt . I hope your brother has been able to have some peace in his life also.

[@deborahpellerito6117]

Your hair looks so cute Chynna I'm so sorry the horror you went through

[@elapet869]

The Lord is giving you healing from these hurts. He loves us soooo much and wants to help us out of the chains that bind us. Cheering and praying for you♥️

[@sanjanc]

Dear Chynna, I just want to wrap you in a HUGE HUG! I know that it’s difficult for you to share certain situations from your past but know that you really are helping others when you do so. I’m incredibly sorry that you and your siblings had to be witness to... and experience in your life the demons of your father’s addictions; no child should ever be put in such a place. You know that God only gives us that which He knows we can handle and, I’m not trying to make less of your struggles or reality in any way... but I truly believe that your truth is not only a testament to the Christian being that you are, it’s also a testament to the strong and caring person that you are... and your tender heart. With every new episode of Cal Preach, not only are you growing in your faith and journey... you are also helping many of us grow in our faith and journey! I just love you, girl! Never apologize for bearing your heart and soul when your purpose for doing so is to unburden, release, grow, enlighten and help. You’re beautiful in every way! God Bless you and your family. ❤️ 🤗 🙏 🙌

[@Cookingforacrowd]

You’ve created a platform of light and truth! Thank you for sharing your heart Chynna. I know we all have the light of Christ- the spirit of light and truth. When I hear or see acts of kindness and truth, the light of Christ witnesses to me that goodness, and I in turn want to be better! I don’t know why some people are born into challenges - but God knows. My heart hurts for that little girl that longed for a relationship with her dad, and you having to see what you saw regarding the drugs. You have gone through so much, but yet you are a shining example of light and goodness! You are loved Chynna! Keep shining bright for all the world to see❤️

[@katereaves8710]

We had such a similar childhoods, and it makes me almost disassociate at times, almost like youre numb, but when you do know Christ and get really close to him, you start feeling again, and it's hard because you've been so numb for a while and when bad things happen now, we want to almost fall back to being numb but Jesus loves us so much he walks us through it so we do actually feel and then we can heal and grow. Thank you, sending so much loves and prayers ❤️🙏✝️

[@moonlighteternal8024]

Chynna...that story about your little brother is heartbreaking...I can understand your feeling this way & crying as you have in this video.It's okay to cry, Chynna. We are here for you. Know this. & so is God. You are a wonderful perfect human being- just remember that. There are some things within our control & others not. Keep expressing what's inside you as you have been doing here- the more you let out, the more you let go. the more you let go, the freer you will become. i'm sorry about Grandma Jacks- she seemed wonderful. I'm sorry too about the worries you've had over your boy's well being. I will keep praying with you over all of this. i have been watching your videos for a few months now & really feel for you. I enjoy how you make us all feel like part of your family by sharing your heart. That takes amazing courage. Love & Light always.

[@maryd9387]

Incredible that you had to justify and explain the "holy spirit activate" song to someone who had a problem with it.🤦 If they have been following you for any time, they should know your heart by now. Thank you for sharing your personal struggles and stories. I hope your hand procedure goes well! You'll have to show us the results😊 Peace of Christ!❤️

[@kellybode4812]

MARY D. EXACTLY! YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T WATCH. AND I THINK THERE IS ALOT MORE HORRIBLE THINGS GOING ON , IN THE 🌎 WORLD. I LIKE ALL YOUR PHRASES. JESUS IS MY ROCK ,AND THATS HOW WE ROLL !!!

[@maryd9387]

@@kellybode4812 you are so right! People just like to complain and tear people down I guess🤷🤦

[@jan2024-n4f]

Our church teaches us to ask the Holy Spirit to give us more of himself by praying, “Holy Spirit, Come.” When I heard you sing, “Holy Spirit, activate”, I heard the same ask and it gave me joy! You are a song writer so the Lord inspired you in the language that you can be inspired by! Never apologize for what God has given you! 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Man looks at the outward appearance and the Lord looks at the heart.” Pray for the one with the critical spirit and thank God for speaking to you in your heart language! “Holy Spirit, activate.” Praise Him in your storm. God bless you, Chynna!

[@maryd9387]

@@jan2024-n4f I love what you wrote! So true!

[@SoWeirdBoy]

Agreed! Chynna is a light. Any backlash is jealousy and not of God. He would never place shame on you for worshipping Him! Never! Worship Him how Your Heart knows how. Sometimes people need to be uncomfortable to hear His Word! Keep California Preachin'!

[@shannongeorgiapeach76]

Thanks for sharing. I understand how childhood memories and or trauma can affect us as adults. We are all ahaped by the good & the bad.

[@gailward3308]

I just found your channel a couple days ago. I am completely smitten with your Christianity walk. I was raised by Christian family but strayed for many years. Now I am now 67 and am back. You are such a blessing to the world for this. Jesus will take care of Billy. I know your fear as if Jesus returns tomorrow my husband will be left behind. God will fix it when he is ready. Praise the Lord. Love you.

[@shannontiffany4525]

You’re helping people in so many ways, it was not my parents but my young adult kids father , I have so much empathy and love for you, thank you chynna.

[@kaylegirvin184]

I'm reliving my childhood through what you said, but mine wasn't drugs. You were lucky you had therapy. Within my childhood, it was violence & layer on, an alcoholic stepdad. Your sunspots aren't bad at all. You wanna remove mine from my legs & arms! Mine are from 2nd degree burns from the sun. I won't get into how THAT happened. 😭I also have a resedeing hairline too, (We're blonde twins; & I've an egghead!) I won't wear shorts or ever let anyone see my legs. You're so Blessed Chynna, to finally have them removed. I'm sobbing as your video ends. I recalled myself being inside my bedroom closet, my mom placed me inside of.... with the door closed. I knew my sister would be home soon to get me out. I used to be scared when my mom put me in there, & I knew better to not cry, or else. My trauma was like yours in a cense. You were lucky you weren't abused or saw your parents beat up one another. It was horrible. Ever time I return to Santa Barbara...I return to our house on Calle Rosales Street in San Roque. Our Christmas Tree is still in the from yard, now grown MASSIVE! (I lived in the "corner house", directly looking at Peabody Elementary School); & I often wondered if the people wouldn't mind my sharing photos of their house in the late 1950's & 1960's, & I fantasize that they let me see their house inside, & as I do this...I magically am able to let go of the bad memories I had as a child of 4, 5, & 6!? It's a weird thought I've had for years. I sobbed for & with you Chynna...I know what you went through. You're SO lucky, & so Blessed you had a healthy parent to go to! I only had my grandparents, but I couldn't tell them what was going on. It was SO AWFUL Chynna! I'm SO glad your mom had the where for thou all...to have stopped by that day! Your poor Brother! She's a special young lady Chynna. The fact she always stayed friendly to your Dad's X-wife; took GOOD care of ALL his kids...ALWAYS COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS; YOU HAD THE 1 PARENT, WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU...AND STABLE! MY SISTER IS JUST NOW AT AGE 68, UNWINDING, & BECOMING UNHINGED. I FEEL LIKE IM RELIVING MORE TRAUMA AGAIN BUT WORSE BECAUSE SHE DOESNT SEE SHE NEEDS A THERAPIST, TO HELP HER THROUGH IT. I NEED ONE TOO, NEVER GOT ONE. MY MOM STOPPED IT...SO I'M DEALING WITH THESE ISSUES & ABANDONMENT ISSUES, ALTHOUGH NOT THEIR FAULT THEY DIED; EVERYONE I'VE EVER LOVED ME, HAS LEFT ME; INCLUDING MY HUSBAND & MY BFF.😭😭😭💔💔💔 BOTH DIED ...JUST A MONTH APART...AS WELL AS A MONTH APART; MY BELOVED; "NANA". 😭😢💔I FELT WAS MY MOM....THE ONE PERSON WHO TRULY LOVED ME. ITS BEEN SO HARD. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IN LIFE CHYNNA. I WANT SO BAD TP GO HOME TO SANTA BARBARA....I FEEL ITS THE ONLY WAY IM EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO BE HAPPY IN MY LIFE. YOU'RE AN OLD SOUL CHYNNA...SO YOUNG. BUT ALSO SUCH AN OLD SOUL TOO. PLEASE HUG YOUR MOM AN EXTRA HUG FOR ME...SHE'S SUCH AN ANGEL HERE ON EARTH. CHYNNA, SHE WAS YOUR GODSEND LOVING ANGEL WHO WALKED THIS EARTH...AND NEITHER OF YOU KNEW THIS UNTIL I JUST SAID IT...TAKE GOOD CARE CHYNNA. YOU'RE SO LUCKY TOO, TO GET YOUR SPOTS REMOVED. MY GRANDDAUGHTER TOLD ME AT AGE 3 & 4, SHE WISHED SHE HAD MY "STAINS" [MY AGE SPOTS...THATS WHAT SHE CALLED THEM AT AGE 3 & 4!]; BECAUSE SHE SO BADLY ACTUALLY WANTED THEM BECAUSE SHE SOOOOOO LOVED ME & STILL DOES. AT AGE 9, SHE NO LONGER WANTS THEM... BUT HUGGED ME (IM SOBBBING AGAIN); & TOLD ME, " ITS OK GRANDMA, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL & I LOVE YOU". SHE STILL LIKES ME TO ROCK HER IN A HUGE, DRY, DOWNEY FRESH, SHEET TOWEL; LIKE I USED TO DO, AS I SING A SING A SONG TO HER, 🎶"HUSH LITTLE BABY DON'T DAY A WORD" 🎶 (MOCKING BIRD SONG); CUZ SHE LOVED HOW I ROCKED HER IN MY LOVING ARMS, WHILE I SANG TO HER; IN A DRY, SHEET TOWEL, UPON THE TOILET SEAT, AFTER HER BATH. MY GRANDSON TOLD ME THE SAME! HES 16 NOW, 5'8, & WEIGHS 200 LBS, & ASKED ME AT HIS AGE OF 15, IF I COULD OR WOULD, ROCK HIM TOO. I LAUGHED & TOLD HIM THAT HE'D ALWAYS BE MY SWEET GRANDSON, & SURE! WHY NOT! SO I TRIED, WITH HIS CLOTHES ON...TO ROCK HIM ON MY LAP, IN MY LOVING ARMS! IT WAS HILARIOUS! I TOLD HIM, HE'D NEVER BE TOO BIG FOR GRAMMA TO HOLD. LOVE, & YES.. ROCK IN MY ARMS TO THAT SONG TOO!!☺👍 MY GRANDDAUGHTER LOVED IT WHEN I ROCKED HER BROTHER TOO! LOL! HE WAS WATCHED BY ME FROM HIS BIRTH; TO 6 YEARS OLD; M-F, 10-12 HOURS A DAY. IT WAS ONE OF THE 3 TIMES I WAS THE MOST HAPPIEST TIME IN MY LIFE! HE TOLD ME HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME TOO. IT'S SO SWEET CHYNNA, HOW THE SIMPLE THINGS, SUCH AS OUR GRANDKIDS, & OUR DAUGHTER; (I ONLY HAVE MY 45 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, & I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!); THAT KEEP US SMILING FULL OF GRATITUDE! THOSE ARE THE THINGS CHYNNA YOU GOTTA KEEP FOCUSING ON, & IT WAS 💯% DEVINE INTERVENTION THAT DAY, THAT YOU AND YOUR LOVELY, LOVING MOM WENT INTO THAT HOUSE THAT DAY YOUR BROTHER WAS ON THAT KITCHEN FLOOR. SO SAD!! I LOVE YOU SPIRITUAL SISTER! YOU'RE LUCKY ALSO THAT YOU LIVE IN MY BIRTH TOWN OF 50 + YEARS (I NOW LIVE IN SAN DIEGO SINCE MY GRANDSON WAS BORN 16 YEARS AGO)...I KEEP ON THINKING YOU LIVE UP IN THE RIVIERA PAST SAN ROQUE OR MONTECITO...BUT I LOVE YOUR WALKS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THEM; WITH YOU IN MY MIND...BACK HOME AGAIN...I'M WALKING THERE TOO SO HAPPILY!! I LOVE EVERYTIME YOU GO THERE!😭💞😘👏👍SENDING YOU LOTSA HUGS OF LOVE & THANK YOU'S YOUR WAY!!💘 😘🙌💞💌💗💓💋MUUUUAH! PEACE OF CHRIST SPIRITUAL SISTER!🙏☝📖

[@blairbrownie1223]

He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds . You are dealing with your pain, instead of repressing or trying to kill it🙌🏻🙌🏻. Thank you for being vulnerable. Only in Heaven will you know how many got saved or healed because of this

[@tennesseeminnissi2445]

Amen! That is so true.

[@kealohaborge2058]

Chynna, my Dad too was nonexistent my whole life & I felt like a person at the end of a runway examining & "choosing" which woman would be my next stepmom ! Awful childhood. But so thankful Jesus's love endured! God Bless you & Billy &.your families always!!🙏🙏💕 Peace in Christ

[@jennaross6654]

All of our trials and hurts are for not for nothing. It’s hard to understand why God allows these things to happen to us but He can use them to conform us more into the image of His son. Once again, I am touched by your deep humility. You speak of fear but I see you standing up to it. You allow us to be encouraged by your weaknesses. It’s in our weakness that Jesus shows His strength. ♥️♥️♥️

[@karensolak6749]

You are strong and so honest. And you are touching more people than you know with sharing your experiences and overcoming. Your faith is so very uplifting. Please keep sharing🙌❣️

[@kimmarie2270]

Thanks for sharing the "daddy abandonment". While there was no drugs involved in mine, I believe it set me up for always choosing emotionally unavailable men. You seemed to get beyond that with Billy. I'm twice divorced with two amazing daughters. While they weren't the best husbands, I was so blessed that they were totally involved, and still are, with their daughters. Praise God.

[@annieing84]

Love your truthfulness Chynna! God is amazing at healing and setting us free from past pain. He restores us!

[@tonyahelmholdt868]

I cried right along with you this morning. Thank you again for your honesty, and for sharing your most personal stories with us. I have related to many of your childhood stories, and share some similar ones....and unlike you, I have not been as brave as to share. God Bless you, Chynna! 🙏🏻❤️ Continued prayers for you, your son, and your family 🙏🏻

[@misstramaine1981]

Raw and powerful testimony Chynna. You know that Jesus has gotcha covered...BTW, Holy Spirit activate fires me up so much, it gets me through tough times and helps my temperament. It's so uplifting! I'm not offended...I guess you can't please everybody 🤷

[@robincivis9501]

Please never apologize for being raw and real. You sharing the trauma you experienced is inspiring because you have triumphed over your fears, misguidance of some of the adults in your childhood, and more. You are lovely. Peace of Christ!!! P.S. I love your alien hairdo. Too cute.

[@SuperLool822]

Thank you for sharing yourself so freely..Your messages are always beautifully transparent and truthful & you thoughtfulness to clarify your messages is second to none. God Bless❤️🙏🏻

[@dorothybethel7353]

Chynna, you have blessed my life. Chilly has made me laugh out loud and I love when you are on here together. Also, love the shows with Beckett Cook. Thanks for all of your sharing, very raw and real. Much love!

[@leiilima808]

Your testimony will help someone in need❤️I love you for sharing your heart💖

[@mywhimsylifed.3055]

Chynna, I’m glad I tuned in. I’ve been in a very sad place and instead of connecting with you and others I’ve shut down and what a Cal preach for me to watch! I endured childhood trauma and I shut down, became stone. I’ve started Therapy and praise God, we are never to late to be healed. Oh, living in Florida I have old lady hands and they drive me crazy. I’m curious about what it entails.

[@wallysmith6344]

It’s sounds like you might of gotten dsyregulated it’s especially common for people with CPTSD.💕✌️

[@crystalchapman8955]

I've watched several of your videos and have noticed that every so often you address something that someone is offended about. I appreciate your sensitivity, but I have to say, what in the world are people so offended about all the time? Here is this radiant woman who escaped so many of the pitfalls of the lives of celebrities, who survived her parent's drug abuse, abandonment, and the lies and abuses of Hollywood. Here she is beautiful and healing and telling the world about the mercies of a loving God. What in the world are you offended at, people? Thank you for these videos, Chynna, for being your real self, and for loving the Savior with such honesty. You inspire me. For real.

[@jmwSeattle]

Such s wonderful comment.

[@baileydiesel6302]

Chynna, your honesty and baring your flaws helps me immensely. Knowing that such a lovely person as yourself, experiencing similar struggles and calamities, makes me feel not so bad...thank you for that! ❤️

[@j.m.5620]

Thank you Chynna for helping us release our traumas through your sharing of yours. God bless us all.

[@cathyhogue9180]

I KNEW THAT HOLY SPIRIT COMPLAINT WAS COMING,THERE IS ALWAYS THAT ONE PERSON. WE KNOW YOUR HEART CHY AND COMPLETELY BELEIVE YOU. GOD BLESS!!!

[@LaniAnne402]

Thank you for sharing your stories. We all have to wade through our experiences and traumas from childhood. I, too, had some experiences with traumatized me. It takes time and talking about these traumas to help you become centered and grounded. You are a good mom, wife, daughter and sister. Give yourself credit for living through your experiences and enjoy the family you have created with your husband. Live in the now and enjoy life. A year ago today my dad passed away. He was 88. He worked so hard to take care of our family. We were five kids, plus my maternal grandparents and parents. So, nine of us in a big house. Dad studied at night to earn his engineering degree. He designed a part of the guidance system that got the Apollo to the moon. From him I learned to study and work hard. Thanks dad. Thank you mom for choosing him. I miss him and his gentle voice and advice, especially in his final weeks. God bless you for working so hard to ground yourself. I love you too. Take care of yourself. 💞🙋🏻‍♀️🙏✝️

[@reneeboronka]

Your story about your brother just broke my heart. It is good that you are sharing your stories, because it truly might help someone else who has had trauma. God bless you and your family Chynna 💗

[@debbiemartin965]

Chynna, I feel your pain. There were things that happened to me as a child. At some point, after my dad past away, I realized I was carrying around this burden of sadness, anger, etc. Then I decided to just let go and forgive. Now I am at a place of peace with it all. Love yourself enough to let it go. On another note, some people need to stop feeling so offended. I love your little chime! The Jesus I know would not mind and would probably get a kick out of it! Lighten up people. ❤️😊🙏

[@wfpbkelly]

Chynna, wishing you PEACE for the past, STRENGTH to persevere and ALL your days filled with LOVE. Let’s keep going!! 😘 XO

[@mariecoomer1299]

Awe I'm so sorry Chynna. My heart just breaks for you. I, too, had a rough childhood being sexually and verbally abused...abandoned by my mom and biological father...neglected by my mother. My husband left me after 24 yrs of marriage. He just left one day and never came back. God uses us with what we've been through in our lives, so we can help others. How can we relate to others, when we say we understand what their going through, if we haven't been through it? God uses us to help one another and strengthen one another. God wants us to comfort and strengthen others. I think your testimony, where your pretty well known, will touch and bless others who's hearts are hurting. God honors us giving of ourselves to help others...and in the process we get healed of our own pain from our past..God bless you and your family. Your sister in Christ💞

[@Aslanreturn]

Chyna, they're freckles; they're so cute! I am an almost 52-year-old freckled red head who loves my freckles (or angel kisses as I told my daughter when she was little). I've always had them in my face, arms, chest, and tops of my hands. I hated them as a child because Dad said they made my face look dirty! (😭), but now they remind me of my younger days, and I really love them. The more weight I lose (lost 101 pounds so far - want to lose 50 more), the more visible they become, and the more I love them. Lol I even have some on my eyelids! 😂 You should do what makes you happy, but don't feel embarrassed by the angel kisses. 🥰❤

[@gogoteresa3062]

Chynna.....you have lived through some tough stuff..me too. You inspire me. I love you. and I'm going ro say it ................SHINING!!!! just amazing you are.

[@mariaa.9952]

Dear Chynna, if I could wish one thing for you is that you could overcome all the hurt and wounds instantaneously, you’ve suffered enough, but I have no supper powers. Will say a prayer for you now. Ok done. Take solace from the fact that you are a very different parent. That alone proves you are a very different human being. Peace of Christ 🙏

[@deborahjoyner6696]

God Bless your testimony! Your commitment to getting spiritually well is nothing short of a miracle!

[@jog8483]

Gosh Chynna, please don't be embarrassed by your perceived "imperfections". I don't see ugly hands, I see a beautiful soul. If the procedure makes you feel more confident and comfortable, do it! But never feel shame, you're perfect as is. Blessings to you, always!!

[@camillestanley5684]

You do have a k nack with your hairdos,I am still learning with mine...I am excited that we will all receive our heavenly bodies !

[@Sacred-Heart-of-Jesus829]

Hi Chynna! I can totally relate. Except my father was not into drugs. He was into himself--a total narcisst. I am one of eight children. My father was terrifying to be around. It impacted me greatly. I try really hard to be a better person. I pray everyday for both my parents. I love them both. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for you as a small child witnessing your father and everyone around him enabling his drug use. It's so disempowering. You are a beautiful person! God bless you!

[@angelinarosiles4877]

I have never thought you were mocking the lord, you have always been uplifting and excited about him, and ready to spread the word❤️

[@lilym257]

I love your honesty and vulnerability!! Thank you for all the little ways we can remember where we came from. Wishing you a miraculous day!!

[@godlover9918]

I looked at my hands after your hand confession. How many did the same?

[@pattituron8510]

Chynna, I love how you know that even though you have experienced trauma in your childhood, that has caused you emotional hurt, that God is your healer. We all have a little child in us that remembers traumatic events in our life that have caused us hurt as adults. The way you share your heart and struggles and point us all to the Lord is the most important thing you will ever do in your life. In the midst of everything you have gone through, you have found joy and peace in Christ and that is what matters now. Thank you for being who you are. God is using your voice to bring glory to Him and at the same time, He is doing a work in your heart and life.

[@hollymarie1301]

God bless you and continue to guide you on this beautiful path. So grateful for your raw honesty and trust in God. Keep California preaching, I LOVE it!

[@mumblinmae1140]

Bless u, Chynna...trauma is so difficult to navigate through. You are a trooper...and a fighter. 💜

[@tamaramadelin4831]

I know this is a process having come from so much trauma, but I hope you realize that you are not as much of a broken person but a perfect person in progress! Thank you for your honesty and I just want you to know that you are from what I see a wonderful mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc...You should be proud: I wish you all the best in your journey to self realization and peace!!!

[@jude1515]

So sorry that you and your brother had to go thru this. It's sad for families where there is drug addiction. It is especially sad for the children because their parents can't help themselves let alone their kids. It is good that your mother came thru or you and your brother.

[@CRebecca1944]

God bless you too. Thank you sharing your journey of faith.

[@rhiannonrhiannon6285]

You are a very smart woman. To understand all of this at the age of 6 is amazing. What is amazing is that you went through all of this and became such a great person. You are an amazing Mom and give back to this world. So many girls lived your life of partying etc that is a part of life for a lot of girls. You rose above all of this. NOT to say that you do not need to release this now. You have buried all these emotions for the sake of others and now it's time for you to heal. The first step to healing is doing what you are doing now...you are releasing them and hey on top of it you are helping others in your journey. You are brave and care about others! God is smiling right now.