Why Slow-Adulting is a Good Thing

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"Adulting" is not a very attractive word, and the millennial hang-up around it has made this generation the butt of a lot of jokes. By the end of the 2010s, millennials had started to embrace the mundane joys of grown-up life and clap back at Boomers for launching such an unfair critique after passing down a hostile economy. But then, millennials found themselves roasted yet again by the kids coming up behind them, as Gen-Z mercilessly took their elders to task for talking about adulting all the time, whether to complain or brag about their latest grown-up pseudo-milestone. Here’s our Take on how the millennial conversations about Adulting have shed much-needed light on that transition, and helped change how our culture views the purpose of our twenties and thirties. (In other words, you’re welcome, Gen-Z.)
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[@thetake]

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[@annarose932]

Please could you guys make a analysis on the character of Mabel Pines, and a analysis of the hatred of Mabel Pines. Would be really interesting to hear your analysis about her.

[@lindaschreifels9889]

@@annarose932 really don’t get the hatred for Mabel. She’s delightful, even at her most frustrating!

[@namedrop721]

Adulting requires money and most Millennial don’t have any. Then the Boomers shat on them

[@niarose6435]

can you guys review sex/life?

[@milktoasted]

"Just because people have been growing up fast for generations doesn't mean they've been growing up well." YUP

[@theirishpotato6588]

Yee

[@DavidSanchez-vx4bv]

And also growing up slow is not a recipe of growing up well...

[@dancingdyonysis]

@@DavidSanchez-vx4bv It's a lot more likely you'll grow up healthy and happy if you give yourself time to learn rather than rush through life and follow some arbitrary plan

[@DavidSanchez-vx4bv]

@@dancingdyonysis I would say 60/40% no more. Why? Because growing slow could avoid you to miss several opportunities. For instance, if at your 35 you still live with your parents, Zero credit record, and a job flippling burges don't expect to much from the World (this World tends to help those that already have what they need) Growing slow could give you some chances to have more experiences, but remenber, the only thing we have it's Time, one year more in life Is one year less..

[@dancingdyonysis]

@@DavidSanchez-vx4bv If the only thing we have is time, than why should we be expected to waste decades of our lives working jobs we hate just because people tell us we should? Or chase a paycheck only to spend it on some material bullshit like a new car or house or a soulless trip to Cancun that doesn't actually make us happy? Or pushing ourselves to desperately find a relationship and get married and have kids (forgoing the wisdom and growth that comes with learning how to just be okay on our own)? Or following any path that we don't create ourselves, just because it's what people before us did and tell us we should do (even though most of them ended up miserable anyway)? Only to wake up one day in our 80's and realize we never gave ourselves the TIME to do what we enjoyed, or even to FIGURE OUT what we enjoyed or who we were underneath all the things everyone told us we should be.... If all we have is time, that seems to me like a pretty idiotic way to spend it

[@indieflopqueen]

can we all agree that having kids does not make you an adult?

[@leeannatweed8811]

Or getting married

[@AlextheENTP]

Or getting old.

[@alexanderfo3886]

*remembering my parents* Yes, I think we can.

[@novepipps]

Especially since a lot of people get kids via pregnancy trapping

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

If girls as young as 10 can get pregnant, I think it's safe to say having children does not make you an adult.

[@raywilliams212]

Maybe we resist becoming "adults" because we remember how horrible the adults in our own lives were when we were growing up. Becoming that kind of person didn't look very appealing.

[@trinaq]

I concede your point. As kids, we want to be grown up already, but as adults, we may want to be kids again.

[@semperfi818]

I had that thought growing up, and arguably I'm a mid-boomer (62); to this day, I still don't adult any more than I absolutely have to, I admit.

[@elainestokes2787]

At the age of 33 I still mutter "adults ruin everything" under my breath, which I probably shouldn't do.

[@semperfi818]

@@elainestokes2787 If it makes you feel any better, Elaine, I'm 62 and I find myself at least thinking the same thing very frequently.

[@iwanttomakemusicthatmovesp3415]

I'll say "Yes!" to your statement. Cuz I'm always surround with absurd-mean adults. Also, when I hit my 20 ... I realize that "adult world" kinda below my expectations when I was kids. Especially marriage world ... It's actually rough tho~ Maybe back then, I want to be adult because I'm jealous with my dad cuz his pocket always loaded. Hahahahahha ... P.S. Not all adults are absurd and mean. It just my own experience.

[@remidogger5472]

I'm 27. A week ago my nephew who's 5 years old looked at me very seriously and said 'you're actually just still a kid too, aren't you?'. Little dude is way too wise

[@remidogger5472]

@Personal Jesus haha no I'm quite the average person in height. I did tell him about 5 minutes before he said that, that I would go and eat dinner at my parents house, maybe that made him say that

[@hieninh6523]

Aha cute

[@hannahmetzger6622]

I wish I had a nephew like that. :3. Your nephew sounds wholesome, and very sweet. :3.

[@grecia5965]

You made me cry

[@mayaocampo7781]

😂😂 cant detail how much is have lougjt at your face right there and then 😄

[@suedejones974]

The thing with “Adulting” is, we need more money.

[@evilcleiton3768]

Yes!!!! And that's the sad part, you realized that the reason why you're not an adult i because you don't have money!!!

[@maayanabutbul5976]

The thing about this generation is, we need a better system. It's either we end capitalism or capitalism end us.

[@ElisabethLynn]

Yes! 👏🏻

[@ElisabethLynn]

❤️

[@bhavanibhamidipaty5851]

You put your finger on the exact problem !

[@CaregivingVlogs]

My mom has told me ever since I was a kid, to slow adult. Not to settle for anything, career, marriage and wait until you feel ready to have kids. That is why I am slow adulting. I am a very together millennial, I think waiting is a good thing. I may feel like an imposter sometimes but I also feel grateful to my mom for helping me through this process of becoming an adult.

[@izzywoods794]

That was such good advice. I never got that but Im just so nervous about committing to a life-path, I did it anyways😅. i’m only 23 rn but still

[@CaregivingVlogs]

@@izzywoods794 no matter what you are on the right path 💝

[@ericab6247]

That is so wise of your mom. My mom said something similar in her own way. Reading your words helped make her words feel more comforting and supportive. Thank you for sharing.

[@KarmaPolice42_28]

I very much agree with this, my mum had me at age 37 and she didn't get a steady job until age 29, and she told me that things happen when they have to happen, so there's no need to rush things.

[@stephaniejacobs2281]

Your mom is a goddess!

[@Hannah-wh3vo]

There's also a lot of survivor bias in older generations. We don't get to hear from older adults who didn't make it - those who lost their lives in the AIDS crisis, were traumatised or living with undiagnosed mental illness or disability, were victims of domestic abuse, etc. It's a privilege to survive long enough to sneer at younger generations. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD and autism until my early 30s and was suicidally depressed at the time. If I were born fifty years earlier I'd either be institutionalised or dead by that stage. Autistic adults are still one of the most under-employed demographics because of the gross lack of accommodation and acceptance. So yea, "adulting" is hard and I'm alive and able to talk about it on the internet. The boomer version of me was silent and invisible and the world pretended she didn't exist.

[@jp9707]

That's a really valuable insight, thanks for sharing ❤️

[@hollywoodshopaholic]

Yes absolutely. Those who force older societal standards onto others are actually quite ableist. "Slow adulting" allows people to embrace and utilize their quirks and idiosyncrasies to create a way of life that works for their personalities, bodies and needs.

[@alexc.7035]

My dad is over 50 and is ADHD undiagnosed bc it's just wasn't a thing and had been through sooooo much, he's technically doing well economically speaking but the guy struggles so much internalized and it's even aware that he's personal life and mental health is non-existent. It's just so sad that in past generations the whole focus on mental health wasn't a thing, i have so many relatives with ADHD (in runes in my mom and dad's families) and i see how they still struggle and also refuse to look for extra help unless their in close to suicide

[@bennyton2560]

good point. I wonder if I'd be considered crazy and sent to a mental hospital in the 50s

[@Hannah-wh3vo]

@@hollywoodshopaholic I agree. Most people's idea of "adulting" is inherently ableist, and disabled people are an underclass because we struggle to fullful it. Personally, I believe that "adulting" is a capitalist construct that works against our social, physical, and psychological evolution as a species, and that those who hoard power and wealth to the detriment of the species are more mentally ill than those who struggle to conform to the framework the hoarders created. Our bodies and minds are suited to living slow, collaborating, making mistakes and problem solving, periods of intense physical activity followed by periods of rest, altruism, story telling, skill sharing... A nuclear family, a 9-5, the illusion of convenience, and constant, low-level stress make no sense to our bodies and brains which is - I believe - why so many of us struggle with "adulting". I'm just more at the extreme end of those who struggle so it's more apparent to me. Society is what nearly killed me, not my so-called disabilities.

[@heatherwills3404]

What I like about the word "adulting" is that it deconstructs what adulthood is. We've turned all the responsibilities of adulthood into a verb. Something that we must do, but it's not who we are. We've broken down the rules of what it means to be an adult and realized that we don't have to let go of the things we enjoy simply because we've reached a certain age. As long as we get the "adulting" done, we're free to do whatever we want.

[@ahhh4117]

Being a grown up is just doing tasks everyday for the rest of your life, and it can feel like those tasks define my personhood Like I feel as inexperienced and unqualified today as I did when I was 13, but at least I can stay up as late as I want

[@shroomer8294]

I think this idea of a “generational” clash is more of a clash between people who prefer intrinsic motivation and people who prefer extrinsic motivation: artsy vs sporty, secular vs religious, subjective morality vs objective morality, etc.

[@neuralmute]

I don't think it's necessarily a generational thing either. My mum gave up a lot of what could be considered "acting her age" in exchange for doing what she loves when she left my (highly abusive) father, and now she's an official Cool Granny who does the necessary amount of adulting, but knows how to balance it with fun. Watching her let go of some of the unspoken and unnecessary rules of a certain type of adulthood has been amazing.

[@spj4you]

One of my favorite manifestations of this is how Millenials have changed the wedding landscape and really embraced infusing their personalities into the events, decor, and music as opposed to everything being so "proper" and "sophisticated."

[@AlextheENTP]

@@spj4you As a millennial who designed my own backyard wedding (with my groom), wore a hastily altered dress, and served sushi and zero wedding cake, thank you for seeing me.

[@1MegArbo]

Guys! Guys! I have to tell you something: I'm 48 and feel like an imposter, too. So do your parents! Really! They don't know what the hell they are doing either. Everyone makes it up as they go along. Also, a lot of the stuff Society tells you that you want really might not be right for you anyway. I didn't own a house till I was 45 and sometimes miss renting. With the exception of three couples, everyone I know who got married under 30 are now divorced, some with kids. Not fun. Sure, pay your bills and such but don't worry about being self - actualized before 30. Take your time. Figure out who you are.

[@TheDSasterX]

Your honesty is appreciated. I've only just finished uni at 31 and spent the latter half of my 20's single and figuring myself out. Do I feel like I wasted a lot of time? Of course. I would've loved to live flawlessly and know exactly how to "win" at life, but that's a fantasy. It took me to my 30's to even figure out a direction and I'll probably be in my 40's by the time I've gotten to a point where I can look back proudly. We're all just monkeys and the world is only getting more complicated with each passing year. Even this shitty world we've built for ourselves is something statistically unheard of. Work towards betterment for all and don't take anything for granted. Life is hard and anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.

[@kristelmae_]

this is so reassuring, thank you so much for your story!

[@XanderShiller]

Thanks

[@butterflymoon6368]

@@TheDSasterX yeh marrying young always seems like a bad idea. i find the wives want to run like the wind from their husbands who they chose before they were introduced to the concept of 'criteria'.

[@jp9707]

Thanks for the advice ☺️

[@ham5097]

I honestly don't get why some of my fellow Gen Zs have the need to constantly make fun of milennials. Maybe it's because I am an older GZ and so have some things in common with milennials, but I feel like most of our issues are so similar and instead of berating each other we should stop the whole 'my generation is better than yours' and start helping each other. I think that the previous generation made so many things easier for mine, so thank you

[@0neAutumnLeaf]

To be honest the majority of millennials I’ve seen who are offended by what Gen Z are saying about side parts and skinny jeans are middle class white American women

[@RedStorm1392]

@@0neAutumnLeaf I think you’re right. I could care less about that. I dress how I wanna dress 😂

[@Hakajin]

Honestly I think I get along better with early Gen Zrs than my own cohort (early-mid Millennials). I'm still inexperienced in a lot of important ways and have anxieties about where my life is headed... Plus, since I'm pretty much on my own, I feel vulnerable and like a child. I feel like I have more in common with older Gen Zrs, and that makes me feel comfortable and relaxed. On the other hand, with people my own age, I always have the impression that they look down on me, tolerate me, and/or just generally don't think I'm on their level maturity-wise. A lot of this is probably projection, more to do with how I feel than how they feel, but... I have trouble talking about my insecurities with them, because I fear seeming immature or needy.

[@fuhgetabatit1051]

Don’t forget GEN Z is the same generation that ate tide pods

[@monsterhighfan144]

I'm guessing you're a zillennial too? I related a lot to millennials but I was considered too young and I relate to Gen z but I'm considered too old. Are millennials cringe? Yeah but that is kinda normal lol. I mean have you seen 2014 fashion lol like what were we thinking haha along with those tumblr days and thinking how cool we were as hipsters! I don't think Gen Z is better than Millennials or millennials are better than Gen Z tbh. Gen Z has their own cringe that they're gonna look back on ngl. Millennials introduced me to so many important things. I also Lowkey hate Gen Z lecturing Millennials about how they could have done better. Like bro chill they did the best they can, I understand you can critique them but don't go too far

[@Da_dctr78]

I don't think we are all that unique. I think all past generations struggled with their own version of this but we struggle openly and past generations have a revisionist history version of how simple things used to be. We also exist at a tipping point where the bad decisions of past generations are boiling over.

[@claraberg1214]

This is exactly what i think too!

[@wrayoflighttube]

Well said.

[@Introvertsan]

Definitely

[@ahhh4117]

So u think the "oh no" that feel get louder every coming year started in the 1910s?

[@Acidfunkish]

@@ahhh4117 Translation?

[@merefinl6914]

Generationally speaking, Millennials grew up during a time of relative prosperity and then had it all crash right as they were expected to become independent. Gen Z grew up during and after that crash, and I think a lot of the Gen Z attitude toward Millennials comes from an understanding that they are starting from even farther back than many Millennials, and that there is a new degree of seriousness needed in order for most members of Gen Z to survive. I'm right in between both generations and I think Millennials were allowed to develop a lot of expectations for their futures that Gen Z grew up knowing they'd never have a chance at. Millennials are justified for feeling disillusioned and taking things slow, but Gen Z needs to be quick on the uptake and adaptable in order to have any chance at life. I think that's the difference.

[@KD-ou2np]

I relate to this a lot, as someone who was born in 2000, even in a suburb with a middle class family, I was never under the impression that things would just "work out" or that good things would just "happen" to me. I have dreams but I don't expect them to come true. I'm not disillusioned, I want to work for those dreams. I have to try really really hard and see what life will give me, which may not end up being much I don't know yet. I think that lots of us who are entering and now leaving college (or rather, at that age, not everyone did college) are already somewhat burnt out by being hyperaware of the world we live in and our impact on it, the high-octane politics, financial disasters, terrorism, genocide, gentrification, climate change, all of it. It feels like, the world is too big to change. But I always remind myself of how things have changed for the better at so many bleak points in history, and that gives me some hope.

[@qqfuwu1]

@@KD-ou2np I heavily relate to your comment, I’m feeling burned out and fatigue already. Knowing that my dream goals aren’t going to be accomplished, all I ever wanted was to be an online artist because I watched how much noney people have made so I pushed hard to get the right art skills and the right merits to gain attraction. I spent most of my middle and all my high school pursuing this, knowing my earlier dreams of being a scientist was just not going to work out because of college debt...I’m now burned out...I have an audience and I’m making money but I feel as if it’s not going anywhere. I have a comic but not enough subscribers to make it anywhere...Since I was 11 I knew it was competitive in the world and to be realistic and use the internet for money because it was the best option. Now I’m just burnt out, never really had a better option...and my hope is dwindling that I’d find an audience.

[@voodooprincess11]

Gen Z are more mature in that sense.

[@arriebatiste5601]

Very well said. I was born in 2000, I'm in the middle of uni, I'm already tired and overwhelmed and my life hasn't even begun. I feel like my life has flashed before my eyes at least 30 times and none of those visions have a happy or "successful" result. I honestly feel like not existing in the first place would be better than trying to make life work for me. The gag is, I live in a developing country where we have access to free tertiary education in a lower middle class two parent household, so if I'm feeling this I cannot imagine how people with less opportunity than I have feel.

[@dancingdyonysis]

@@voodooprincess11 I like to think that too, and then I remember tiktok exists

[@Angi3_6]

I always feel bad because I'm 27 and I still don't have it together. It doesn't help that my disabilities, mental illness and trauma took my childhood away. I watched my mom struggle and I knew things got a lot harder as an adult. Why would I want that?

[@lkeke35]

I wouldn't freak out about it. I was 35 when I finally started feeling like maybe I was a grown woman, even though I had done all the correct things, like a long term job and bank accounts and stuff, and that was because that was the age when I had to start taking care of my elderly parent! That was when I finally admitted to myself, hey, you are now a grownup!

[@izzywoods794]

@@lkeke35 thanks for the hope😭

[@nyxtea]

@@lkeke35 I'm 33 and my parents retired this year (on paper but not really). It freaked me out so much. They are cool with it, even look forward to it and are financially secured. But I'm still panicking. I've been taking care of myself fully for over 10 years, living in different country. But still I feel like a little kid...

[@ninialintu]

I think adulting is much harder when dealing with those issues... I started feeling a bit like a grown up when I finally decided to take meds to treat my mental illnesses. I was 27. I'm 30 now and I still don't feel like a real adult but I think I've got my things a bit more together than before. It just takes some time

[@nicolefornuto7177]

I'm in the same boat as you, I'm 26 and i feel bad about not acting like an adult despite the fact that I've suffered from a traumatic childhood and i suffer from anxiety and depression and have watched my parents struggle with money and mental health.I've seen and experienced how it can be,why would i want that for myself ?

[@cravidana1182]

I love shows that are realistic about adult life. About how confused and lost we feel. Adulthood is scaring. Everyone is just taking it one step at a time. I love how Issa is lost and kinda stuck in Insecure. We don't have anything figured out. We are just trying to survive out here and figuring out how disappointing the adult world is. How cruel. Also, I love how our generation have different priorities. We might never own a house, we might never be rich, but we are trying to be present, to be there, to show up, to speak up. I love that.

[@BreakingStubad]

I feel like the "realistic" nature of shows like Insecure and Shrill makes them fantastic to watch but hard to binge ... It's like I WANT to see a more accurate portrait of adult life for millenials, but also I can only suffer so much through fiction while also feeling like that in real life, you know?

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

@Isa Lo Explica Todo / Isa Explains It All -- Same for me with reading. I'm a realist, so I don't lie to myself about the state ofthe world, nor do I appreciate being lied to by my media. Yet, if I'm reading a fic that basically ends like "emotionally distanced self from family and friends to protect them politically even after went into hiding and lived alone until death" or "unable to escape bad domestic situation b/c baybehs but 'made the best of it' i guess" or "and nothing rly changed b/c legal loophole/public-safety-issues prevented them from getting justice or punishing evildoer but they sighed and bitterly went on anyway" then wth is the point? Might as well read the news, as that.

My parents are the last ones of the boomers (model 63 lol). When they started working in their early 20s, they immediately got amazing jobs with all the benefits and stability of the 80s economy (pensions, paid leave, 20 days of paid holidays, etc.). My dad was even able to afford 2 flats when he was 24 and got another one with my mom when they got married at 25. They were parents of two kids when they were 29. My mom decided to become a full time mom at 30 because they really didn't need another income to keep their lifestyle and she really wanted to be with us. My dad retired when he was 52 and it is now living the life with my mom... All of that is impossible in today's world. I go through life doing my best given the circumstances and, if buying a Lego set makes me forget at least for 10 minutes that I will never be able to stop working because I won't have a pension in my 60s (if climate change doesn't kill us all first), I will freaking buy a Lego set!

[@she_wizzdom4410]

I have deleted all my social media accounts because I was constantly comparing myself, constantly feeling like shit about myself. I just want to wake up and not feel so depressed everyday. Everything has changed so suddenly.

[@tessarae9127]

@@she_wizzdom4410 10/10 recommend lol 😆

[@loverrlee]

So much of being an “adult” is based on monetary ownership... which is kept from most of us

[@DylanRomanov]

This.

[@everberry51]

No one likes to say this part 🥴

[@ShaunDreclin]

Hard to feel like an adult when even moving into your shitty first apartment is out of reach for many of us. I lucked into finding roommates that would take me in, if I had to do it alone I'd still be living with my mom at 31.

[@Blueocean881]

The issue with this milestone "race" is that adulting is post 18 to the end of individuals lives. Do we want to be the generation that thinks compulsory HigH sChoOL were the best years of our lives because we rushed things afterwards?

[@sophieh.4097]

LOUDER

[@Chilkies]

I really don't understand the idea of peaking in highschool, peaking in college maybe, but even that is pretty strange. The life experience just isn't there. I intend to peak in my 60s.

[@Blueocean881]

@@Chilkies Right? Maybe we should address the bigger issue: Ageism!

[@thisisntallowed9560]

@@Chilkies Agreed, 1 in 4 teenage girl experience depression during teenage years, so high school is definitively not "the peak".

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

its difficult to adult on poverty wages

[@MrTooEarnestOnline]

Yea. And it’s hard to start a family when…âpøcölÿpßę

[@ND-nx1nt]

THAAAAAANK YOU!!!

[@AniaonFiya]

This is the comment!

[@Maw906]

This

[@camelopardalis84]

Yet it gets explained away by saying that “the human brain doesn't stop developing until age 25”. Fuck that. I wasn't a child before I was 25. I was an adult. I am thankful that I grew up at a time and in a culture when and where I started being treated as an adult - albeit of course a very young one - at age 16. I seriously wouldn't be surprised if nobody had ever checked which parts of the brain aren't fully developed yet until age 25. That they are parts of the human brain that have nothing to do with how mentally mature a person is. This infantilisation of adults only leads to nonsense like 28-year-olds who have consensual relationships with 19-year-olds being called "p*doph*les" and people who are legal adults being treated like children who know nothing. There's a difference between an inherent lack of maturity and a lack of experience.

[@kennedyjojackson1202]

I really like this video. I'm 19 years old and this past year has really stunk. I graduated high school in 2020, I settled for online community college instead of university classes. I felt it was safer due to the virus. I did awful my first semester and realized I wouldn't have done much better at uni. Despite being a good student in high school (choir soloist, dance team captain, ap classes, avid volunteer) I lost every bit of motivation. The scholarships I applied for didn't roll in the way they were supposed to. What saddened me the most, but also oddly made me happy was knowing many of my classmates were experiencing the same thing. Adulting is scary, but knowing I'm not alone remedies some of my fear.

[@ahhh4117]

I really don't like the derision that some gen z have for this sort of disillusionment, but I understand it I think that they're thinking they'll have it easier, when people like us who are more in-betweeners are really aware of the fact that it won't be so simple My siblings (27-21) are just doing their best and they aren't where they hoped it would be by now, but they are moving forward and growing, and that's all I can hope for honestly I hope we end up happy at the very least

[@Candyqueen3211]

You’re going to be okay, taking time to figure out your life is perfectly normal!

[@anyone1111]

Omg I am also your age! And also decided to go for online community college which may be better and you can always transfer to the school you want (if you want to of course!!!) But I TOTALLY feel you. So just know, you’re definitely not alone!

[@orangeradishneo]

i'm 27, and i actually took 6 years to finish HS due to mental health. I was able to take those 2 last years (doing a self reliant program) to work, experience life, figure shit out, fix my mental health especially. Went straight into college (as a C student, might i add) and kept going back because I'd find a new path via my previous program (i.e photography turned into graphic design, something i've NEVER considered but got to experience a bit of). I found a lot of people i knew who went straight into post secondary, felt the same way as you. Pushing 18 year olds (well, 16/17 when you apply, take prerequisite courses) to decide on their career path is INSANE.

[@anyone1111]

@@orangeradishneo yes! Is there any advice you could give if I’m questioning my own course in college which I am only on my second year btw!

[@gardenboydon]

There's often a classism argument that is left out of these "adult hood" conversations. It is a privilege for people, whom are well off financially, to delay adulthood. People in lower classes often don't have a choice but to work straight out of high school or get married to sustain rising living costs

[@RedStorm1392]

Slow adulting doesn’t mean not working. I’ve been working since I was in high school and I feel like I am slow-adulting. Delaying it doesn’t mean you don’t work.

[@rishabhanand4973]

on the contrary, it's people who are well off financially who can adult faster. If you are from a lower class, and end up in a low wage job, reaching the major milestones of adulthood, such as owning a home and having children, are much harder.

[@potmki6601]

@@RedStorm1392 yes, but it means a possibility of choice of a non-commital job, maybe with less pay or less hours, or going to college/uni instead of finding a "real adult forever job" just after school, that doesn't 100% closes other paths in life for you, but likely. Also you complitelly missed "starting a family" part - some people can't rent/buy house alone, and their parents cant help them, so they jump into a marriage because moving out is more doable with help of another person (and maybe parents of both). And I worked too - also while studying. But it was the whole another story. I could quit, I could change place of work or studying, I could take a mental health pause, and rely on my parents to not let me go into debt while it. I was motivated to become and stay independant, but I wasn't desperate, so I could try different things without caring how they pay, and changing them before pay increases. And it comes from privilege.

[@crescentmoon7137]

EXACTLY. I am born in a third world country as well as most of my family, and slow adulting has never been an option for us. i like tot think of it as an American thing or more specifically a white thing, because almost no poc's (in America or out of it) and people in countries with fucked economies, or lower class people in general get that privilege at all.

[@kailyjuarez8811]

I feel like it can go both ways at this point. Sometimes lower class people born into low income homes often work straight out of highschool or get married- college sometimes isn't even on the table. Usual mile stones like getting that amazing job or buying a home or a new car aren't attainable. People from well-off homes may be able to afford all of these things- or at the very least utilize the opportunities that were already within reach to begin with- and achieve adulthood (given that we're basing what adulthood is on having all of that apart from being financially stable). Rich people can afford to choose to do nothing, but I think poor people sometimes have little choices aside from "nothing"

[@Fenja_Rose]

I (25) talked with my mom (54) the other day, that I don’t feel like grown up yet and she was just like „me neither, and probably no one ever will.“

[@trinaq]

I've learned that NOBODY feels, like an adult, even when they legally are one. It's completely normal to not have your life sorted or "together" by 30, but that's alright, since life is a journey, and we all move at different paces.

[@semperfi818]

I've technically/legally been an "adult" for over 4 decades now, but I'll never really believe that the designation applies to me in more than the legal sense. To the IRS, I'm an adult, but where it counts, I'm still growing.

[@isaanderdonau31]

I couldn't agree more. At 34 I learned enough to know, no one has it fully together, most of us over 30 are winging it (and doing just fine) and from what I hear from friends and family of all ages: it'll always stay that way. But you get better at accepting that, at least I feel that way. I am actively looking forward to each year and decade to come, full of curiosity what my life will bring. It took all my 20s to get to this mental state of confidence and relaxedness, but it's a cosy sweater that feeling :D

[@semperfi818]

@@isaanderdonau31 Well done, friend -- I hope you continue to get better at being your best self.

[@isaanderdonau31]

@@semperfi818 Thank you. I'm really far from my best self, but I figure it's all alright. I'm trying what works and what doesn't, like everyone. But it makes me sad to see the pressure put on the 20-somethings from... society? media? their peers? themselves? without giving them the context of their situation. for example the myth that living with your parents after the age of X is a sign of failure. Historically, that's how it used to be. until you married or had enough financial resources (shared apartments weren't a big thing, but marrying could be that version of that ; plus marrying younger then) it was only until the mega economical boom around the 50s. But somehow that time- which was actually the anomaly- is ironically the standard we all feel we must adhere to and be judged against. However, there is more and more content out there addressing these issues, which will hopefully help us all, but of course especially the generation that is currently struggling with this topic the most, as they become adults. which is an imperfect process and I doubt will ever be finished :D

[@auandaily]

Agreed! aka just be yourself and ignore the others. this is your own life exam.

[@TheDSasterX]

When gen Z (or younger) starts using adulting unironically, I'm not even gonna say "I told you so". They're just behind the curve and we all need help these days. Generational warfare is counterproductive and I'd rather work with the younger generations than chide them for being young. If we can set up a generation for success, that's a win for us all.

[@reyfan011]

I can relate to this title so much. I’m 27 but still feel like a teenager. I just graduated college and now have to be a full time working adult, no longer a student working part time. It’s a weird feeling.

[@im_a_chair5556]

I feel you. I went to college right out of high school bc my mom kinda pressured me (she LOVED saying different variations of "my daughter goes to college, and isn't a teen mom"). I flunked out, I couldnt handle the idea of being out in the world. Having a career meant I wasn't a kid anymore. A couple years later here I am, about to graduate. The closer I get to graduating the more anxious I became. I keep thinking "holy crap, I'm going to have to use everything I learned and actually apply it to real life in my career" I know that sounds silly, but in my mind having a career means closing the door on my childhood, and having to extinguish some of my personality traits in order to fit in and be taken seriously out in the field. I guess I'm just scared I'll lose myself, after spending so much time finding myself... Ok vent over .-.

[@annie1779]

I’m about to turn 27 and I also just graduated college so I feel kind of behind. I’ll be applying to grad school soon and the pressure I feel from my family to get a real job is really getting to me.

[@alextroy9202]

@@im_a_chair5556 “having to extinguish some of my personality traits in order to fit in” yes!!!

[@shenadarling50]

Good for u. I am 21 still haven't started University. I am sad cause I am stuck working a bank job that I am unhappy with. Grateful for but not satisfied. No house, no car I could but I have no family support or confidence to go for my dream.

[@KissesFromCanada]

@@shenadarling50 just do what makes you happy…and also save a little percentage of every dollar for inevitable old age. No pressure. You do you.

[@booksandtea1663]

In my culture and society, people like to maintain a strange balance when it comes to adulting. Nobody in college in India is considered as grown-up or independent as their peers in the West. Up until you begin earning on your own, you are very much considered your parents' children when it comes to things like money, relationships, and choices of things like what to study in school and college, what kind of job to take up, all the way down to (in some cases) what you can and cannot have (clothes & other personal belongings). Your parents buy everything for you, they pay for your college and all other living expenses, you live with them, and yes - you don't pay rent. Your parents and extended family have a say in most things you do. They do not consider you as enough of a mature or responsible person to live your own life - and even if they do, they seek to suppress or control your independence rather than give it the freedom to thrive. On the other hand, in the case of women, they would like to get you married off as soon as possible, and you're not considered too much their child for them to give you away in marriage. Once married, your extremely sudden and abrupt transition from being treated like a child to being treated like a grown woman with responsibilities and expectations is complete. Now you're expected to have it all - cook, clean, go to work, take care of your husband's family, be in touch with your own, take on emotional responsibilities in addition to your physical ones, and soon enough start having some kids. It's an odd set of beliefs to entertain within one system but they coexist in our parents' minds and shape our lives in very real ways. While everything I've said here by no means applies to every person in India, it's a prevalent enough set of expectations to be a tangible feature of our society. Also, I apologize for the solely heteronormative point of view described here. TLDR: In my culture, at the age of 23 I can be considered not old enough to choose whom to love or what to wear or have control of my own finances, but I am considered old enough to be married off and assume all the responsibilities marriage in India entails.

[@KhushiSingh-xi9jt]

This is so true for the average Indian. And though in my personal case, my parents allow me to choose pretty much everything on my own and do not control me, I still wish for them to guide me. Like, the way typical Indian parents control their kids is toxic but the way kids in the west are left all by themselves is toxic too. I wish parents just guided and supported their kids in ways that kids wish to be guided and supported.

[@drshohinidas4051]

You are absolutely right

[@Angi3_6]

I'm still in college. Some of my classmates are in their 50s.

[@im_a_chair5556]

I love seeing that tbh, its never too late.

[@spj4you]

Adulting is basically what a mid-life crisis used to be. We're actually just getting it out of the way sooner.

[@saharewazirali5329]

Yep

[@elysiansolace3371]

Yes.

[@ninisilver]

Life is sooo long nowadays, having all figured out by 20-30 is super scary. This is the time to get out of our comfort zones and explore who we are, giving us time to figure out things is important but we need to take baby steps with responsibilities as well, saving some money, taking care of our health, eating well, read a bit, kiss a lot of frogs, explore other cultures, that what adulting means to me as young millennial.

[@BadgerCheese94]

Life aint that long. A former coworker of mine just died this past spring at only 29. We certainly wont have everything figured out by 29 but we can die literally any day now so lets not act like life is long.

[@ninisilver]

@@BadgerCheese94 Sorry to hear, I'm sending you the best energy possible. I also lost a friend by suicide at age 16, believe me, there's no day that I don't wonder what kind of person he would be today. But, I still believe that in this life you need to remain strong for those you love and don't walk anymore with you in this life.

[@BadgerCheese94]

@@ninisilver Thanks. I wasnt close close with him but he was a work buddy and a nice guy and its sad hes no longer with us when he had a whole life ahead of us. Dont know how he died but sadly I also suspect suicide as he showed obvious signs of depression.

[@she_wizzdom4410]

@@BadgerCheese94 that's the exact reason why we shouldn't be stressing ourselves so much ,worrying about the future. After all, I may not even live that long? 😂 Think about it, the idea is really calming, whenever I start freaking out about the future, this thought never fails to make me feel a little better.

[@novepipps]

Yes I'd like my brain to finish developing before I make such major decisions lol

[@maggierobertson2962]

I think its massively important to consider to role of Birth control (and access to it) when discussing slow adulting. The way we Millennials have been allowed to meander through our twenties is a direct result of the fact that we have been able to delay parenthood. That was a gift not open a few generations ago, and tragically still not open to so many women.

[@maggierobertson2962]

@@telepathicmagicshop yup. I'm American of Irish Catholic decent. This is exactly my family's experience. My grand parents were in no way prepared to raise that many kids starting so young.

[@jerlinej3516]

Growing up I always saw adults being really busy, somber, quiet, tired and or angry. This all made them seem kinda boring too. Now I'm a grown up and I have some insight as to why they were like that 🙃

[@hopperthemarxist8533]

I’m 35 and I don’t feel like an “adult” becoming an “adult” happens in different ways for different people. I know people around my age who are a lot less developed in some areas that I’m developed in. Having a great Job, partner snd kids or a house aren’t the only things that make you an “adult”. And yes money is a big part of whether it’s easier to “slow adult”

[@ND-nx1nt]

I just turned 30 and your comment makes me feel better. 😭 Thank you 🤗

[@texashg85]

I’m also 35 and I have ping ponged between very adult periods of being together and boring and periods where I feel like I’m re-living my early 20s with no stability. It’s a process.

[@VegimorphtheMovieBoy]

Phew, I'm 32 and still trying to find stability in my life. Thanks a lot!

[@jesuschild07able]

I am the opposite. I had to grow up at 14 years old. Get a job, take care of my family, and learn how to not think about myself. Now since I am older, I am aging backwards in a way. I will not being having kids because I finally can go to the park late at night and swing on the swingset or dress in clothes that are cute and not worry about another mouth to feed. I am in a huge amount of debt but slowing getting out and not having to take care of someone else is awesome.

[@saharewazirali5329]

I felt this :( especially the swings part. I just spent a night out super late like it was highschool. My friend and I talked all night at the park. I still made it to work on time the next day, but nights like that make me feel lucky to be alive. And also they remind me that time is ours for the molding.

[@suhanaahmed4960]

yesss!!! I grew up way too quick thinking about everyone else but me, I never had the opportunity to do fun silly things and am spending my 20's catching up on all of this.

[@whitefang238]

This is a valid, but financially privileged perspective. The issue is that people with no family/money backgrounds dont have the luxury for false starts and the process of adulting or starting their own thing..mistakes can make the person homeless and emotionally and financially ruined for life

[@akshaybalakrishnan150]

I think with social media content focusing on how hard adulting is, more people realize they aren't alone and don't face the 'impostor syndrome' as you mentioned, or atleast don't feel too bad that we haven't grown or don't feel like 'adults'.

[@anaclaudiasiqueira1598]

This whole Millenials x Gen Z thing is actually so silly. It feels like us, the Millenials couldn't prove ourselves for the previous generations and are now trying (and failing!) to prove something for the younger generations to come. Adulting is hard due to everything we went through as a society that has changed 50 years in a decade, especially for POC's and minorities. But we do diferently than our parents, and our kids are going to figure It out to do it their way too. And I think that's ok! :)

[@MrTooEarnestOnline]

We don’t care lol. Dw about it. Our generational problem is nihilism

[@discoskull]

Gen Z can fuck off and figure themselves out before coming after us. We're all in the same leaky boat, and there's a lot of stuff about our culture they straight up take for granted, that millennials had to work for.

[@MrTooEarnestOnline]

@The King in Yellow shoo. We don’t have time for your anti natalist bull today. Case in point on the nihilism thing^

[@MekareP]

It's silly to a degree. I think Gen Z is at that age where they think they know things before they even learn things stage. So they have the ego of youth. They've watched millennials being picked on and bullied so now to deflect and say "oh I'm not a part of that" they join in. Every generation feels like they've got something to prove. Gen Z is just getting the luxury of social media to air these ideas. But honestly ...please leave us alone LOL

[@sheetalchopra6582]

@The King in Yellow that's sooo depressing lol, u rlly should be in my generation. Umm so some people actually enjoy life. Like that is a thing. Also you shouldn't have used Buddhism in ur argument, u took like one element and ran with it and then forgot about everything else within that religion that contradicts you.

[@mendez5525]

Coming at the end of my 30 year, I'm done trying to be an "adult." I riddled myself with anxiety, expectations, status, and unhealthy habits. I used to be so scared of everything, especially failure, but now I'm very comfortable in accepting that I have little control over things and that my experiences are more important than the rewards that could have come with them.

[@ChromeDestiny]

I had severe panic attacks and depression in my early 30's cause I was scared about not having enough ambition and feeling unemployable. Things aren't that much better ten years later but at least I'm over beating myself up that much over feelings of inadequacy. I look around and see how nuts the world has become and now just take it one day at a time.

[@rightweaponry908]

It's really hard to be a responsible adult when the only way you can move out of your parents home is to either pay 80% of your income to rent or have 8 roommates, let alone have savings or be able to afford a child. Why should a single person need two full time jobs to barely scrape by and then be told to "just stop buying avocado toast" My rent is quite literally triple what my mom pays, and it was the cheapest spot i could find.

[@Nightman221k]

I feel like I never understood what I needed to learn to be an adult as far back as high school. It’s still hard to figure it out at 30.

[@TomikaKelly]

Same. Make a goal of what needs the most improvement in your life and create a plan. Truth be told, if we had all of the answers life wouldn't be as fulfilling and exciting.

[@veronicapiccinini7956]

Considering what the previous generation left us (mainly the 2008 economic bubble, the 2016 president elections, the terrorist attacks of early 2000, no anti-stalkiing lawsuits), i hardly blame mine for slowing down and keeping their "inner child" intact as long as it needed to be. Admit it. They left us nothing but their messed up mistakes we are forced to fix on their behalf

[@izzywoods794]

It’s like they left us this horrible mess but broke all the brooms and vacuums 😫😫

[@jp9707]

Speaking as an LGBTQ person, I'm grateful to the previous generation for making HUGE strides towards the (mostly) acceptance that I experience today (I live in the UK, I know people in other countries aren't as lucky). Our rights have come a long way in the last 50 years! It's easy to remember the bad stuff the generation before us has done, but we should remember the good stuff too.

[@yvonneweiohara399]

I wish this video also commented on the experience of children of immigrants in the US. Many of us did have to grow up a little earlier than we wanted and it wasn't even an option for us to slow-adult through life at a time we wanted to.

[@izzywoods794]

Why? Because of poverty? Or responsibility? Or both?

[@izzywoods794]

I’m interested 😬

[@lilisonia7418]

@@izzywoods794 Hi Izzy, I’m the child of an immigrant so I can touch on this a bit. PSA my experience is by no means universal, just what I went through. I personally feel immense pressure to make my parents sacrifices worth something. My father grew up in extreme poverty, and immigrated without speaking english, just to have a better life. Since I never had to make the sacrifices he did, and am extremely privileged to have grown up speaking english in the US, I feel like I have to do everything he wasn’t able to do, and even be able to provide for him when he retires. I’m sure the pressure is even more extreme for those children of immigrants with less privilege than me, since I’m white and grew up middle class.

[@yvonneweiohara399]

Personally for me, both poverty and responsibility. Small things like parent-teacher conferences, I even had to be the stand-in for my own parents since they barely spoke English. It was the same for filling out paperwork for everything. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and my dad was barely making minimum wage working at a gas station and liquor store. My siblings and I have gone on to graduate from 4-year universities, get scholarships and pay off loans, but part of me really believes we were all horribly afraid to mess it up for our parents who tried to give us a better life.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

I also want to save from me and my cousins it's like we grew up babysitting and doing chores while maintaining a's and b's and school and going to college and went to college and yet I have one cousin who can't drive mostly because her parents are closing structures and most of us are hardly that independent

[@kupalisky3553]

When did we start equating being an "adult" with being boring and bland? Why can't adults play videogames and have fun?

[@anyone1111]

I have the same question my self. Like I can still like plushies, coloring and painting and listening to kpop. All while doing adult things and learning to prioritize and learn things I wish I knew and learned earlier.

[@jessicaderosa9625]

When i was 23 years olds, my brother was killed and somehow i had to parenting my parents and work hard till the point of burn out. Now with 28, i wanna live that young times i didn't...

[@hihowareyouthen]

That must've been tough, to say the very least. Wishing you all the happiness in the world 🌠

[@strawberrycheesecake6899]

That must have been hard. You can still live out the things now that you wanted to live out at 23.

[@lucypreece7581]

I mean the education system is a joke and teaches all the wrong things. The point of education should be to produce well rounded capable adults who can cope in the world independently. From an early age everyone should be taught life skills. Cooking, cleaning, money management and as they get older they should be educated on stuff like responsibility and independent living and stuff like managing taxes. Even caring for a pet. I was lucky that my parents encouraged me to learn these things from an early age meaning that now I'm 23 I can cope with living independently but not all parents can or do teach their kids these things. They should be in school curriculums. Learning skills like writing a CV or applying for jobs and stuff. Even personal topics like physical and mental health, sex and relationship education not just about pregnancy and STIs like get taught now but stuff like indicators of abuse and toxic relationships. Education currently in the US and even in the UK where I am focuses way too much on the academics and nothing on practical life skills and then wonders why young people leave school and college utterly clueless and unable to cope. If stuff is taught from an early age it helps to create better more well rounded adults. Not everyone has parents like mine.

[@anyone1111]

Omg yes! I feel like I lack the most BASIC skills needed in life. I sometimes realize how hard it would be if I needed to live alone or something, because I wouldn’t even know how! Crazy!!! I literally don’t even KNOW how to write a resume! Like I wish I did (btw if you do know how to, could you please explain?)

[@ninjablack4347]

Honestly the only reason i don't home school my child is because i want him to have a social life. Thats it. I don't expect schools to teach him anything that will help him in adulthood

[@xiaoyingrh]

This is so true! I’m 33 but still feel like a teenager and I’m still struggling with adulting. When I grew up, the education system only focused on academic performance. I lived with my mum since my parents separated when I was about 12. My mum had a successful career but had no time for me, so I never learned any of these important life lessons, not from my school or parents. As a result, I’ve struggled so much after university, and haven’t been able to get my life together until my 30s. For people who can’t learn life lessons from their parents, it’s such a shame that schools don’t teach them how to live a life properly!

[@ShawnRavenfire]

I never felt like an adult. I went from feeling like a clueless kid straight on into feeling too old to be useful.

[@ianward3647]

yo growing up sucks, how did y’all make it through

[@ladybug-uggs8548]

Realizing that the older I get, the more opportunity, control, and power I have over my life. Confidence increases as you age, so the older you are the more mature and wiser you are as well

[@yao592]

@@ladybug-uggs8548 omg that’s exactly my way of thought

[@pynklady11]

@@ladybug-uggs8548 Nicely stated you learn to release what you can't control and show compassion to self. To not take on what doesn't belong to you. Everyone has a different path just stay in YOUR unique lane. There IS no competition or race it's a JOURNEY. This has shifted paradigms and immensely helped my mental health.

[@KissesFromCanada]

It beats the alternative.

[@revinaque1342]

With therapy and medication 😂

[@lordeflockatee3399]

I feel seen 😂

[@trinaq]

Me too, I was literally just thinking of the entire concept of "adulting", and whether we ever truly feel like one when we're grown!

[@RaeJeana]

For real 😭

[@AxxLAfriku]

I have fewer than 1 friend in the World. That's right. Everybody disses me for making bad videos. I think they are perfect though. Who is right? My dissers or me? Which side are you on, dear lo

[@oliviabonon902]

Me too! Needed that!

[@Blueocean881]

I actually felt nervous to watch anything with the word 'adulting', I was preparing to be dragged😂

[@nataliautemova5997]

This video couldn't have been more in time! I'm 22 and at the crossroads of my life, under so much pressure and constantly feeling like I'm an imposter. Now I at least feel less alone :)

[@a-maylewis1636]

Yes your deffinetly not. I'm 22 too and I feel the same way 😫

[@KaylaNoelle1]

I’m just so sick of people telling me I’m old when I’m only 25 and my brain could have literally just finished developing last week! I just now landed my first stable full time job. I had one lined up right after graduating last year but the pandemic killed that possibility because it was marketing in a theatre. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m just thrilled to not have to work several shitty jobs every single day with no time off and still barely make ends meet. Yet people are bitching at me for not being married with kids right now.

[@pathevermore3683]

Oh god. My generation didn't learn a lesson from our mistakes. No dont have kids til you are ready, if you never are, that's fine. Your generation needs to define new normal not just reuse our failed excuse for normal.

[@AcapellaFella]

Slacker

[@pathevermore3683]

@@AcapellaFella ahhh nostalgia of generation BS from the 90's

[@yazzerino]

if ur old at 25 I must be geriatric at 28 lol damn

[@anyone1111]

What the heck? I’m 19 my goodness. If 25 is old now. Soon enough 15 is going to be cinsidered the age of senior citizens sheesh😂 But yeah people call me old too. Like uhmm. I’m not even starting my second year of college yet wth T^T

[@crystalfairy912]

Did anyone else take “don’t hurry to grow up” lessons of kids shows too seriously? Or is that just me? So I’m thankful for series like New Girl and Broad City with disaster 20 somethings.

[@user-insight]

Same, I learned it from realising my parents didn't have a set holiday period. I was like "hahahahaha no way I'm living like yall" so I've been searching for ways to retain my innerchild since then

[@bibliofiliafull]

I think the disdan to the "adulting" discussion comes from the fact that it points out how the world had become unnecessarily more difficult for younger generations.

[@aylin7409]

This is the video I didn't know I needed (I write here at age 27, while I sit in my mom's living room :D)

[@TomikaKelly]

31 and same. (My house will be fully paid for by the time I love out though. Gotta find the silver lining.)

[@Audrey-eo2wm]

I'm 31, in a civil union, 2 kids, a house, a job as a teacher that I love and I still feel like I'm 16. I don't know who put me in charge 😆 I feel overwhelmed sometimes and I have my sh*t relatively together. I had so much to learn when I left my parents' house. Some aspects of being an adult is hard and we need to recognize this.

[@bellaknightR597]

In my opinion Rachel did marry the wrong guy anyway, Ross is the worst

[@user-insight]

EXACTLY. She should've just stayed a single mother fashion mogule in france. "Rachel in Paris" is what she deserved

[@bellaknightR597]

@@user-insight totally

[@butterflymoon6368]

all of those guys are the worst and all not as attractive as the girls.

[@bellaknightR597]

@@butterflymoon6368 How dare you say that about Joey, he's great

[@brigs247__8]

@@bellaknightR597 look, i love friends alright, but i dont understand how you think ross is the worst, and defend joey, when Joey is portrayed as a literal sex addict who likes to prey on women, and even prides himself on this??? Just curious, i love both for what they are; fictional sitcom characters who are there only to give us laughs and a good time.

[@wasitjustadream2345]

I think it's a cool and needed message but i dont fully agree. Some young people dont decide to adult because of society or family pressure. Im entering adulthood because is what i want for myself, to not be dependent, and that's a positive thing and an act of self love too. The correct way of growing up is respecting your own limits and desires

[@shaygarden9831]

Yeah like my own mother would complain that my sibs and I don't have our lives together while she married at 24 and moved into a house. But now her life is mess. 😓

[@julimoreira]

As we say here in Brazil: one day I'm a kid, the next day I have a favourite sauce pan.

[@jullyanyewerton7900]

Nunca ouvi isso

[@saharewazirali5329]

I love this!!

[@she_wizzdom4410]

Haha

[@krys8830]

I love being an adult. I have my own money (not much but mine) can dress myself how ever I want and take my own decisions. I wouldn't go back to being a kid at all. My personal nightmare would be to wake up as a 13 year old. uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhh

[@nordette]

Me too!! I always say this!!! It still blows my mind I can go any where in the world I would like and there's absolutely nothing stopping me. I love getting older, it keeps getting better even through the struggles. Its all a blessing 🙏

[@KhushiSingh-xi9jt]

Indian? Asian?

[@anyone1111]

OMG YESS😭😭 Like ask me if I want to go back to middle school (which I like just graduated from hs in 2020 but like… anyways) and I would say nope.

[@cutienerdgirl]

I'm slow-adulting and it's not on purpose. I used to think I was a failure because of it, but now I'm just enjoying the ride. 😎

[@saharewazirali5329]

Yep.

[@mariecait]

i’m 32 and live alone in the woods and don’t work anymore. it’s nice but lonely. i had ran myself into the ground in my 20s so badly trying to fit in and succeed that i was hospitalized involuntarily 5 times. one time after a serious suicide attempt. i’m sober, boring and plan on getting into something i love this time around instead of forcing myself. i’m grateful i get social security but depending on others for certain things sucks. but that’s life.

[@hihowareyouthen]

Wishing you all the best, Caitlin, sounds like you've been through it. Don't fret about relying on others by the way, take help where it's given ❤

[@covfefe_drumpfh]

Much love 🖤.

[@AcapellaFella]

Good luck

[@mariecait]

thank you all so much for the encouragement life does get better i wish i didn’t take myself so seriously in my twenties

[@covfefe_drumpfh]

@@mariecait believe it or not, most things in life (except for the overall condition of the body in most people) tend to get better as we age. On top of caring less about the approval of others, our minds open up more, and since the brain has fully matured, everything becomes clearer. Now, just keep your physical body in good health and shape. Keep your wallet and FICO score in shape. But don't fall in the _Rat Race_ again. You now seem to be in a slightly better place mentally where you can work on improving yourself the way you want. Much love 🖤.

[@the_fressno]

Future gen z sitcoms: *living in a dumpster*

[@greenytaddict]

😭

[@anyone1111]

Omg😂

[@mlem6951]

I'm 31 and I've only been growing up since a year because my cat got sick and even with a job I'm having a hard time paying her bills. Honestly, being an adult sucks and if I don't have to, I avoid it like the plague ...

[@KyanneSummer]

I completely understand you, my kitty as well. I hope the best for your kitty.

[@ziligengshenghonoris5119]

As a 24 old otaku and kpop enthusiast, I feel so seen 👀

[@covfefe_drumpfh]

I'm 33. I have the mother of all manga collections (that I've been putting together since I was 12), but I also have the whole "house in the suburbs, husband, with a young son..." thing. You *CAN* have both. Being a full fledged grown up is not abandoning your inner child. They're not mutually exclusive. Go ahead and binge watch "Jo-Jo", go listen to, say, BTS...but it's okay to be a full fledge adult as well, and doesn't make you boring either.

[@ziligengshenghonoris5119]

@@covfefe_drumpfh Ah thank you it's relieving to know that some people like you exist somewhere. I feel like I'm gonna be like this for a long time. Yeah I guess we can be both 🖐🏻

[@covfefe_drumpfh]

@@ziligengshenghonoris5119 At 24 is when my son was born, btw. I took a super cute breastfeeding pic wearing one of my Pokémon shirts (for example), and one of our best pictures together is at the SXSW (South By Southwest) video game expo in 2013. To this day, we take him every year to that gaming expo (entry was free, but now it’s like $25/day).

[@ziligengshenghonoris5119]

@@covfefe_drumpfh haha It's so cute ^^ I can never imagine myself married rn tho. you really managed to be both 👏🏻

[@covfefe_drumpfh]

@@ziligengshenghonoris5119 thanks for your loving wishes. I wish you all the best.

[@AlexS-oj8qf]

The reason my cousin get married and have baby at 21 is so she could be best friend with her child. As time goes on, she become often frustrated and now cruel to her daughters.

[@toomuchinformation]

Her reasons were f-----d up in the first place. No child should have that expectation placed on them.

[@jimterpstra9305]

If you keep pushing off adulting you’ll never have to do it… and you’ll always resent who you depend on.

[@yondermileslimpey3892]

You can keep your inner child and still take care of your bills and responsibilities.

[@aquamarinerhino3291]

Oof! True because we do need a sense of independence. I think it also depends on the culture but in the US there’s this tension/expectation to be independent and a lot of young adults feel guilty about staying at home with their parents because they can’t afford it even if they are working a lot. (And maybe in other cultures that are more communal it’s more socially acceptable for a working adult to live with their parents. Or even married individuals living with or very near to their parents or grandparents)

[@SometimesPerplexed]

You do realize that the whole opening season of Mary Tyler Moore focused on how she, not a boomer but a member of the earlier silent generation, was just starting her adult life in her thirties? Not gaining traction as an adult has been a widespread cultural theme for literally fifty years, although the greater overall acceptance for it, which I definitely agree with, is newer.

[@CarrieV9]

Mary Tyler Moore character was supposed to be divorced. CBS censored that part because divorce . So she was really restarting her life as a newly single, independent woman.

[@DaTa-wm5yc]

Thank you! Needed this after my father emotionally abused me again and insulted me for being dumb, still living off their money and still studying. (Although I suffer from trauma and depression because they physically abused me but they never see this and say Im Stupid for saying it)

[@halloweenallyearround4889]

I'm in a similar situation and I'm so sorry about it being your life too. You're not dumb. Your parents are abusive pieces of sh17. I hope you can be safe and away from them as soon as possible.

[@NightfallVeilwing]

In a nutshell, we all have no idea what we're doing. And I agree with taking is slow so you can find what is right for you. _"Slow and steady wins the race,"_ as they say.

[@GbyP]

I'm a 21 year old Gen Z er and I don't have anything against millenials taking it slow to adult since Boomers and Gen X are the ones to blame for screwing us over in terms of economic stability and mobility

[@Jordi7174]

What's coming next is that our kids are going to hate us because of our inability to give them what they want because of our crippling student debt and high mortgages.

[@saharewazirali5329]

That’s why so many of us avoid having kids. But what if we actually want them, and we convince ourselves we don’t?

[@LePetitDoll]

My mom always encouraged me to do what i wanted in a sense that made me very independent from a very young age. She has told me that wasn't exactly her intention but she is glad that it turned out that way. Intentionally she did the opposite of her parents, she didn't force me to have a career as soon as i was out high school or a prospect of romantic relationship. Which growing up i appreciated because the thought of being married with kids and mortgage by 30 stressed me out to no end. She literally made me feel safe to be my own person.

[@Angi3_6]

My rent is 809$ and that is low-income housing in Massachusetts! I have to split it with my brother.

[@MatchaJazmin]

I won’t even tell you what “low-income” rent is in Washington DC

[@Nana-yt5is]

its even worse when you have social anxiety

[@KyleNorty]

I love the point about how joyful it can be when you finally start doing "adulting" tasks. I've found something exciting about setting up my own dentist appointments or paying off debt. Like I spent so much of my teen years and early 20's not knowing what to do that when I do something "adult" with no help and I don't mess it up, it's nice.

[@AJ-xc4qe]

I wish you would've included clips of JG Quintel's shows, Regular Show and Close Enough. Cuz I don't see many cartoons tackle storylines about adulting.

[@LadyCaspar]

I watch as my 34 yo husband plays video games while our teenage daughter stares him down for the ride he promised her. Just so perfect.

[@naomibousson]

My mom once told me that as a twenty-something she was under the impression that people past their thirties had it all figured out. "Then I became thirty myself and realised that I don't know anything so I thought that I would get it all together by the age of forty." Now she has passed fifty and she still feels like she doesn't know what she is doing but she realises now that there won't ever be such a moment where she does. The worst part of it is, she says, nobody talks about it. "All my peers act like they have their sh*t together. Nobody talks about how hard and confusing it is sometimes and everyone seems to assume you know the things you have to know as an adult. You have to learn things on your own and if you happen to tell anyone about how you actually feel, people will look at you like you're some kind of idiot." This is of course her own personal experience but still,... If I had to choose between pretending everything is okay or oversharing that I have no idea what I'm doing, I'd pick the latter.

[@pathevermore3683]

They act. That's all it is. My journey in life followed the same path of realization. This was a major cause of anxiety in me for 20 years until i figured out my own version of adulting.

[@PaperParade]

Thinking about it, I can totally understand the hesitancy to “grow up” by Millennials, because I personally had the opposite experience growing up. A lot of Millennials were helicopter parented and actually missed out on a crucial part of their childhood development, so the whole stage of sudden independence is really hard. For myself, I’m right at the middle point of the generations having been born in January of ‘96-but I had an upbringing where I was pretty severely neglected. And perhaps it’s no surprise why my entire life, including now, I’ve just wanted to grow up and get to that next stage-because I have needed the resources to take care of myself as I’ve always been forced to be independent, long before I was ready to do be. For me, it’s about having my practical needs met. For someone who had smothering parents, it’s about having a sense of autonomous identity and the freedom to enjoy the little things. Hopefully this comment makes sense lol

[@thetake]

Use code THETAKE14 for up to 14 FREE MEALS across your first 5 HelloFresh boxes, including free shipping on your first box at bit.ly/3wwvFgs

[@fishinthesea09]

I think we need to abandon the idea that "adults" exist. From what I have come to understand, everyone - regardless of their age - is just trying to make it in an increasingly more complex world and in a difficult economy. You may appear "adult" if you have a bit of financial stability, but that's about it. You have to figure out your life until the day you die, and that's how it's always been. It has become ok to talk about things like mental health and how a work-life balance is managed in our society, but these problems have always been there. Also, people have already been complaining about both the younger and older generations back in ancient Egypt.

[@keishamorris5571]

I might be old but when I was a teenager I remember this song about growing and not have everything figured out... That song is called "sunscreen".Which is why as a Millenial, I have figure myself out as I got older. Which is why I am saying this all the time. That is what I have been saying... Gen Z... You need us Millenials.

[@LittleHobbit13]

"But trust me, on the sunscreen."

[@keishamorris5571]

@@LittleHobbit13 hey you remembered?

[@FabalociousDee]

I remember Sunscreen! God, so many memories...

[@LittleHobbit13]

@@keishamorris5571 Oh, for sure! Love "Sunscreen", truly underappreciated wisdom and perspective to not get swept away by the speed of the world.

[@eggegg8181]

If you’re a millennial you’re not exactly “old”

[@Hallows4]

This makes so much sense and I love it! Even though I haven’t been able to get my own apartment yet and my current job is not an absolute passion, when I got my first credit card a bunch of years ago I did genuinely take joy in the fact that I could spend my money as I chose and was able to take responsibility for my own expenses. Even if a job is not ideal, if you’re working with good people it does provide a genuinely rewarding experience, and the regular schedule that a job gives you also allows specific times that you can carve out to follow your passion and enjoy your free time fully on your own terms.

[@novepipps]

I grew up in a narcissistic household & was pulled out of school very young. Constantly bullied for not having the life skills everyone else did, not being able to function normally because of undiagnosed depression & unable to really help myself because I didn't have the parents, money or anyone to help me. Society is just apathetic towards the disadvantaged and kids use it us as a prop to make them feel better, hence the unending bullying, it was daily.

[@angelcloudsy]

I mean look around, the life models are all around us, the metamorphosis of a butterfly, the cycle of seed into tree, and the list goes on and on. The thing is, we always overlook the concept of time, development, growth and maturity. Life is a process in general.

[@jemimajanvier4706]

The other day my mom, a 53 year old Gen X, made a comment on how immature I was as a 20 year old Gen Z. I thought to myself, of course you think I'm immature, you were married when you were my age. There's a discrepancy in what adulting was long ago and adulting today, and slow adulting can feel shameful.

[@DavidSanchez-vx4bv]

Never slow down or fast up your "adulting" just because Society asks for it... live your age according with your rithm and always be in balance....

[@joeyg.6138]

Anyone know the origin of the clip where the kid goes “why ain’t you married?” And the teacher says, with a stressed smile “I’m just not, right now!” I wanna find this because it got me cry-laughing (where you’re laughing just for feeling seen)

[@kenyah.5823]

That adult is Issa Rae so the show is probably insecure.

[@stephanie6676]

Insecure

[@oreas1372]

Great show 😁

[@oreas1372]

Issa Rae did her own youtube show before, I thinknit was called Akward also very funny 😁

[@user-mb9nm7bq5e]

It’s called insecure, this scene occurs in the first episode. She’s not a teacher btw, she works for anon profit that visits kid schools. I think it’s called ‘teach all, be all’ and is run by a white lady who kind of has Rachel Dolazel vibes minus the black face

[@robchuk4136]

This was therapeutic. Like a warm hug. Kinda needed this. Thank you. Also, Broad City was deeper than it got credit for. That show has essay material that could last for months

[@patriciaa4451]

I'm moving out of my parents' house at 30 (it's not weird in my culture to stay with parents as an adult btw). I feel way more ready than I ever was at 22 or 25. I'm scared but I feel ready. I'm finally free of student loan debt. I'm so glad my parents have been so supportive.

[@zayansayed1060]

ill be honest seeing millenials be so open about their failures and how hard it is to live succeed and be happy is a large part of why i feel quite secure in myself and feel relatively more grown up than my peers. Im not some really mature person but ive been able to easily see the kinds of struggles to expect and how many come to terms with it and ive given myself a sense of pace and perspective thanks to it. Of course now we have a whole new generation that is basically built off of seeing failed adults and has the expectation to never become that. now we have just so many in gen z trying to be grown up about everything knowledgeable about everything because we dont want to fuck up in the same ways we see millenials do. Maybe im just projecting but yeah.

[@UnboxingAlyss]

How did millennials "fuck up"? A lot of what we are going through is out of our control.

[@halloweenallyearround4889]

I see what you mean about learning from others' experiences but you're painting Millenials as "fuck ups", terrible examples, failures and pity cases. No one wants to be perceived that way. It's pretty dehumanising and victim-blaming. Besides you seem to be kind of missing the point about how governments, banks, monopolies and the global economy screwed us all over, yourself included. I hope you don't have to struggle as much.

[@Vinny_chic]

Thank you so much for this video. I think before I watched this I felt this overwhelming pressure to feel like I had everything in my life figured out by now, marriage, kids, the house with the picket fence, and I recognize that i was even putting undue pressure on my partner to have all this stuff figured out too. I honestly feel released from a huge weight after watching this. And I'm really thankful you take your time to make these. They truly help.

[@she_wizzdom4410]

Thank you so much! That was beautiful ❤ I am senior genZ and I agree that adulting is one big roller coaster ride

[@washedblue]

The ironic (?) thing is that, while I think a lot of us have become solid and okay with this stance for a multitude of reasons, there's always that little voice that says "what if I think this way BECAUSE I am immature? Or because I'm resigning to be okay with the slow hike due to ineptitude?" At least for me. No matter how many times I try to tell myself to take my time and do what works best for me, it's impossible to not hear the criticism of other generations or feel burdened by societal expectations even if they are outdated and non-applicable in modern times. I guess it's good to keep a mindful outlook on these things and to consider other paths or ways to improve but it can be trying to keep the balance.. or explain to older gens why it's actually okay in the long run without sounding like you're making excuses or are following a concerning herd-mentality even in your adult years.

[@godbear2930]

I'm definitely slow adulting. I'm almost 30 and I have no idea what the fuck is going on or what I'm supposed to be doing. Send help...

[@willschneider4616]

Maybe 'adulting' became popularized in a generation which not only wasn't left a stable adult world but which also wasn't taught how to be an adult by the previous generation. I had to figure out finance and credit, home and vehicle maintenance, maintaining and creating new adult friendships, cooking and cleaning, work/life balance, and many other things on my own. I also was left to my own devices regarding personal ethics and how to consistently stick to my ethical code even when it's difficult or I am only presented with different unethical choices. And, on top of that, the global climate is reaching a tipping point at which the planet may start careening toward being uninhabitable, capitalistic markets and culture bombard us with endless want while very little around us teaches us to cherish that which is enough, we're still in the process of coming out of a once in a century pandemic that claimed millions of lives, systemic corruption and inequality exist in nearly all power structures, economic inequality combined with the wild cost of living has placed what we were sold is a normal life (house, car, career, retirement) well out of reach of the majority of us, there was an armed insurrection to overturn a legal democratic election a few months ago and half of my country wants to pretend it didn't happen because they secretly support it, and I still have no idea if coffee is healthy or not because it changes every other week. The constant awareness that we're teetering on the edge of oblivian and the people in positions to do something about it being fundamentally selfish and corrupt leads to a general feeling of hopelessness that is quite effective at sapping hope and motivation. This era has unique challenges in being an adult and it's okay to approach the subject with empathy and compassion instead of more generational tribalism which gets us nowhere. We have challenges both subtle and gross.

[@gingercat]

This is such a good show. Thank y'all for putting so much effort and care into it. I appreciate you!

[@livefreediepretty]

Yea "adulting" is a middle class thing, anyone who grew up actually poor who had to work, cook , clean when you are teenanger

[@bythedoor]

I’m middle class but as a teenager I cook and clean too, so it’s a bit odd for me to see adults struggling with adulting

[@TomikaKelly]

This is the bare minimum and just treading water. Adulting, to me, is more about flourishing, coming into your own, personal confidence in your choices, and making the right decisions every time. These are lifelong skills that are honed over time, not a box that can be checked off.

[@TomikaKelly]

@@bythedoor Adulting is more than bare minimum maintenance, it's thriving, flourishing, and getting ahead.

[@bythedoor]

@@TomikaKelly Well, even though I don’t have a lot of experience in life, I know adulting is more than that, it’s just kinda bugs me that some adults struggle to do the bare minimum like you said

[@Wadetrtl]

@@TomikaKelly I was gonna say! I don't really consider cooking, cleaning or even working "adulting" per se

[@seriouslyyoujest1771]

millennials, Gen X, ignore those criticisms from boomers. Their house in San Diego cost as low as $46,000, even $25,000. Those same houses would be over 1 million today, even 6 million if you’re talking about La Jolla, or the Bluffs of Moonlight Beach. They printed money, and they’re sending you the bill. They can thank you for the Social Security, that they didn’t save. Yep we charge it on your bill to

[@mfmageiwatch]

Whooosh

[@seriouslyyoujest1771]

Cost of a house in California in the early 80’s, $46,900 for mine. ( I was lucky) 220 5Th Street, Encinitas, Ca 1973, $150,000 at probate, with prop 13 protection: property tax $1,500, until it sold in 1991 for $1,050,000. WTF, and these ass clowns are going to lecture on s?

[@seriouslyyoujest1771]

Look at the pictures on Zillow, laugh, or weep.

[@mfmageiwatch]

Idk if its sad or funny how people dont understand asset appreciation, inflation, and property values nowadays...

[@itsybitsy999]

@@mfmageiwatch I don't know if it's sad or funny how people don't understand that wages and cost of living have not kept up with inflation and property values nowadays...

[@hannahgarcia4784]

Love this video essay! Definitely hits on everything that many of us are going through right now as young adults.

[@ito4805]

ALL OF THIS! 😭 thank you ✨🙌🏾