Bonzy the Sad Clown

Some clowns make people laugh. Some clowns terrify people. Bonzy is just plain depressed.
Original tale here: i.redd.it/pifv...
I've started a Patreon to try and get some funds to re-open my Soundcloud: / cloak_and_dagger

[@AlleluiaElizabeth]

"Pick a card, any card." "Not that one." lol

[@aussieburner5338]

"Pick a card any card" oh wait Suzi can't

[@FeyTheBin]

Damn. XD

[@Gwennerini]

A man is extremely depressed. He decides to visit a doctor. He asks the doctor for a cure to his depression. The doctor says "The great clown Pagliacci is in town, go see him". The man starts uncontrollably sobbing. He looks up at the doctor and says, "But doctor, I am Pagliacci!"

[@FourOf92000]

Pagliacci also ey, _Watchmen_ reference

[@Gwennerini]

@@FourOf92000 Thanks, I had no fucking clue how to spell it

[@dannylamb456]

*honks nose*

[@thealchemistking4063]

Do you watch tear of grace or did he also make a reference

[@Cernumospete]

"I wanted Suzie to be happy." ... DUDE. THAT'S A FOUL. THAT'S RIGHT INTO THE GONADS WITH A WRECKING BALL.

[@vasilnz]

*knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzy I laughed so hard at this

[@FeyTheBin]

It's so goddamn dark and unexpected. XD

[@dogman9223]

Vasily N that profile pic really fits

[@charliejones3272]

after I heard it, it took me an embarrassingly long time to get it

[@BlancaMari]

"Suzie lost both her arms to cancer" "Knock Knick. Who's there? Not Suzie" I laughed at this bit until I realized the significance of Suzie and now Everything is sad. I am sad.

[@pinkbiohazardmercurialcoll7133]

Don't be, Bonzi and Suzie both want you to smile despite the tragedy...

[@Halvos12]

How is it so many of these stories manage to actually pull off the noble sacrifice so well?

[@joelhaggis5054]

Trick is you never hear about the ones that don't.

[@bijtmntongaf]

@@joelhaggis5054 ya do, but most of em are in dnd player horror stories.

[@NicktheLongman]

Being fake.

[@LunarTales]

I told my mother the Suzy jokes at my cousin’s wedding and she laughed so hard she cried. It was a good night.

[@alphonmoller9486]

Not all heroes wear capes.

[@impatienstheshmuck5348]

Some wear red, rubber noses.

[@Budew-ef6tr]

Some wear jars on their brains.

[@Sleepy_Cabbage]

And makeup

[@tdthedevilsrighthand712]

& most of all...Not all heroes always wear a smile...

[@genkoti]

Don't forget the pantaloons!

[@entropyzero5588]

Tomorrow comes, tomorrow goes But the cloud remains the same Wonder why he’s feeling down Tears of a clown Maybe it’s all just for the best Lay his weary head to rest Was forever feeling drowned Tears of a clown

[@MizukiStone44]

Well, he did go out with a bang, as he wanted. Kind of saw the Suzi thing coming. Didn't mean it didn't have impact. Wonderful performance as a VA. You really gave the lines impact. Masterfully done.

[@TheTaleForge]

Did the best I could, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[@theone614777]

Who’s Suzi

[@leedoyle9007]

@@theone614777 Watch the damn video

[@theone614777]

Lee Doyle no u.

[@leedoyle9007]

@@theone614777 Already did, that's why I know who Suzi is

[@clone10123]

"Guess I threw the book at you" I involuntarily punched my leg I laughed so hard

[@Soitisisit]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that!

[@keithkania3810]

I would’ve thought the cultists would’ve gotten depression from bonzi’s jokes

[@VirtuesOfSin]

I guess you could say that the elder god's heart fell to pieces.

[@keithkania3810]

Bad-dum * sad trumpet *

[@tysonroser4835]

If they're trying to summon an eldritch god, they're probably long past depression.

[@andresond2]

*Bonzis joke inflicts sanity damage*

[@bradpotts1747]

honk. [me responding with dumb laughter]

[@Movman82]

I've heard the Suzy joke before, but turning her into an important character like that was amazing.

[@Hailix4240]

I relate to this character on a spiritual level.

[@BathrobeKeck]

Feckin beautiful. Long may the legend of Bonzy live alongside Henderson and Boxcar Joe

[@jold3174]

Long live

[@DraconicDuelist]

I haven't heard of Boxcar Joe. Love the tale of Old Man Henderson though.

[@evantyler8647]

@@DraconicDuelist read it. Its good

[@DraconicDuelist]

@@evantyler8647 Yeah, afte leaving the comment, I found the video on Boxcar Joe, The Magic Hobo. Fantastic!

[@CatalanPhrase]

Jesus Christ. Bonzy might make a cameo in my next GURPS campaign.

[@dracokitty7113]

CatalanPhrase i onley play seconed advance editon what is gurps

[@penguinsentinel8508]

The generic universal role play system. Very versatile. www.sjgames.com/gurps/

[@apatheticAstronaut]

Has he?

[@mr.killwolf6667]

tell me if you have a story of him

[@TheJawesomeOne]

GURPS?

[@bcajma12]

This reminds me of my Homebrew "Aurora 4x" inspired campaign where one of my players (a ship captain named Bruntus Fizzruld) was so stupid he once rammed an enemy Assault Cruiser six times the size of his 500m long destroyer to save a fleet outnumbered 5 to 1. He survived most of the campaign until he did the first smart thing of the entire campaign. Towards the end, when surrounded by an enemy invasion fleet, captain of the only ship (destroyer) fast enough to alert the main fleet, and compulsive hoarder of explosives. . . Well, the crazy bastard offered to fly a shuttle to surrender himself, his vessel and military secrets to the enemy admiral in exchange for his life. I felt so proud describing the scene of a super massive explosion of ~150,000 tons of Apocalypse-class Battleship consuming the surrounding battleships, carriers and cruisers. He was easily the most hated character through the entire campaign but he finally did _something_ right in his final moments.

[@MistaMeowmers]

Incredible idea, using Aurora 4X for an RP campaign. It's such an amazing game! Soooo hard to get into...

[@themanonthewall7029]

bonzy is a good guy serial killer clown ! i never thought id type that.

[@TheTaleForge]

Didn't have time to record the next Guardsmen, but I'm not letting a week stay empty!

[@brokenlord3218]

This story is making me cry it is good

[@mileslugo6430]

I love bonzy's black jokes

[@WolfTwister]

Miles Lugo connotation is a powerful thing

[@Budew-ef6tr]

Agreed

[@kingspud9548]

damn, this hit me hard, like oohgie the dwarf

[@livingchaosmatrix]

Tommy Mourad Nothing can hit as hard a Oohgie.

[@Scorpion23341]

@@livingchaosmatrix Obongo is pretty close

[@virilliquent6171]

I don't usually comment on Dnd Stories but this one is different. Bonzy struck a cord with me i never knew was there. His build and reasoning for being that way was heart breaking and... I felt eased by this. I myself have been nicknamed "The Giving Tree" once in grade school. I always helped people without a care for myself. My life has amounted to very little so far.. And Bonzy is a character i can connect with deeply. Im just glad to see that even the selfless can be memorable

[@katyc.8663]

"Bonzy was sad, not stupid." XD

[@cetitanenthusiast776]

Wait... the first joke he told was also his backstory? That's incredible!

[@drewnash8113]

Almost as good as old man Henderson.

[@BunnyTheOverlord]

Better IMO

[@johnnygreenface]

@@BunnyTheOverlord if only it was longer

[@spinyjustspiny3289]

@@BunnyTheOverlord Old Man Henderson was made out of spite. Bonzy was made out of a desire to shock the GM into letting people play their characters out.

[@benkayvfalsifier3817]

Dude, I'm on the verge of tears right now. Tragically beautiful. Well done for an unexpected, but marvelous character and story.

[@Willimanist]

I'M NOT CRYING! YOU'RE CRYING!

[@Sentientcap]

... I just realized. What if Susie was Bonzy the sad Clowns Daughter? The joy of his life take by cancer?

[@Deamons64]

That final speech of his is fucking incredible. I can only imagine how it’d been if one of my players actually pulled out a damn balloon and started doing the act during the speech.

[@joseveloz388]

Jesus Christ that was amazing bonzy the sad clown hit me so hard in the feels in the end

[@fashionsoulsonlysouls5575]

If I ever play DND, I’m making this character into a Paladin. Bonzy, the Depressed Clown Paladin.

[@fashionsoulsonlysouls5575]

Wait, would a Warrior work better? Or is there even a God of clowns? Or being sad?

[@DanateDMC]

Cleric, trickery domain for DnD 5e

[@entropyzero5588]

Honestly, this has more of a bard/ rogue vibe to me…

[@Budew-ef6tr]

@@entropyzero5588 Definitely a dex gloom bard.

[@fashionsoulsonlysouls5575]

「Funny Valentine」 thanks comrade

[@messedupdweeb]

This got me again, man. Sniffling at the end there. Props to the OP and to you. The deadpan delivery of the jokes were 👌🏼. 😂

[@Jack-lo5me]

Rule 9 of DnD; If your GM is playing a hard game… make a character to interest them. If your interesting enough, 9/10 times, you will be given leniency so the GM can see where its all going.

[@salvatorerapuano5560]

This actually hit me right in the feels, my eyes started watering

[@DolusVulpes]

This is a perfect example of how any character idea can be a good one if it's played right, no matter how silly it is. Because even a sad clown might have what it takes to be a hero.

[@manueltoney7702]

Your gm sounds like a person you should listen to and not piss off. I am frightend.

[@fatcoyote2]

The Suzy thing was one of the greatest things I've ever heard a character say.

[@RainbowDash1995]

Oh God I laughed way to hard till the end, I honestly think I might cry, Bravo to you sir. What a fantastic character!

[@thomass2505]

I want to give bonzy a hug

[@raveney3689]

Man the first opening lines of this made me laughing so hard at trigger an asthma attack. Beautiful ❤️

[@Budew-ef6tr]

This was a absolutely beautiful story. Thank you for this.

[@Belias10]

I'm not crying, you're crying!

[@DHTheAlaskan]

Damn onion cutting ninjas

[@OMartinez91]

I love revisit this story once in a while

[@pennhooven8844]

When Bonzy made his first joke, no joke, I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair. This is gonna be good!!!

[@iamomega7402]

Now i don't subscribe to many channels, but holy shit, after just a few of these videos, you definitely earned the sub.

[@enoughofyourkoicarp]

Every time I hear this story I tear up at the end.

[@spinyjustspiny3289]

I love that, because Bonzy's been dealing with a lot of shit he tries to cope with over the years, he's so conditioned to accept violence that he can crank out one-liners faster than most people can sneeze during allergy season.

[@aykay521]

Best last noise ever " *honk* "

[@curtgavin7845]

Dude your awesome keep doing what your doing! Excellent VA and really good story instant subscribe 🙌

[@ThatGoblinShow]

Almost like a Rorshack like character

[@jacksonramos5684]

Made me lose a small piece of myself at the end

[@rowanash5378]

Well then... That went from hilariously depressing to legitimately depressing.

[@afeliskdistell5963]

I never get tired of this story

[@pawthorne7089]

This channel... I like it!

[@RawkLobstah88]

God, I love these dark jokes so damn much. I lost it at the Suzy ones.

[@Skwisgar2322]

I have never been more wrong then when I said "we got this" in a Call of Cthulhu game...sooooooo wrong. I ended up personally killing 3/4 of the team under the control of a zombie samurai.

[@Skwisgar2322]

Then there was the time i took out the BBEG with a WWII grenade...while he was holding an innocent 17yo girl and her 13yo sister hostage....the rest of the team was mad, I was like, "hay, it killed him, didn't it?"

[@wraithreaper22]

I'm still crying over Oogie

[@generalmccornflaxbo2547]

God damn, that was somehow simultaneously one of tge most funney and sad stories I've ever heard.

[@noxnexus6953]

just finished the video. I'm so sorry Bonzy

[@no1important777]

knock knock, whos there. *not suzy* dark, but i laughed a lot at that one.

[@cookieaddict5956]

The ending honestly made me cry😭

[@TheBronzeDog]

Laughed till I cried and cried until I laughed. Not a common occurrence.

[@mudkinpz4682]

I feel bad about laughing at the Susie joke that he opened with, now that I finished the video

[@MFinGonzo]

What a great story. Was not prepared to feel things today.

[@submarineinthesky8946]

AWW alright bonzy seriously had me tearing up there. Especially with the Suzy bit.

[@jessechavez5602]

Bonzy is a beautiful character who needs more appreciation

[@adamcohill1617]

"managed to maintain sobriety without withdrawal." How do u do this I'm trying to figure this out irl

[@SOLVE38]

One of the best stories ever

[@benhramiak8781]

Brilliant.

[@blakechandler167]

When you restart the video instantly only to find out that Suzy is the Suzy from the cancer joke. Now I'm even more sad.

[@jerroldsmith2489]

Bonzy makes me laugh too much

[@reddir]

My second time listening to this, and I am still tearing up.

[@tdthedevilsrighthand712]

I require a movie of this.

[@technoalchemist4402]

I feel like he’s a more depressed Gamzee

[@samwhary5498]

I cry every time... it's still so good

[@travishutson9012]

SO many feels

[@adultgimb]

There must be something wrong with me I laugh at a lot of this man

[@wraithreaper22]

Didn't expect to cry at the end of this. Damn you

[@benhramiak8781]

I love this idea. Clown as a D&D character. Bard/rogue?

[@Raurie4]

jesus i'm not even half way threw yet and already i want to play a character like this. maybe one day i'll get to play that ghoul clown in a fallout RPG

[@nathanbenavidez7329]

I've made the little Susy joke irl and I mean all of them

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

I'm not crying, I just got something in my eye.

[@BigDictator5335]

Why is it always a cult trying to summon the doomsday demon? Most of the cults in the Cthulhu Mythos were content to do weird magic shit in secret and only occasionaly sacrifice people.

[@jessechavez5602]

Bonzy the depressed protagonist hero with the quick quips! 🤣

[@KuronaDumoni]

damn, thats a good character too. A decent dm would have a hard time letting such well created characters story end so easily xD no wonder why the dm left your party alone.

[@Kohdok]

Oh my God this is the best character!

[@yasminafarih3681]

I don't get how Bonzy made the DM less angry. Explain?

[@madraptor8936]

yasmina farih likely guilt, or something like that.

[@glassedmemories3373]

He probably found the character fun and amusing

[@QuantemDeconstructor]

Hoooonk

[@DwarfyDoodad]

Probably less stupid PIs and Ex Army Men, Esoteric Professors, and the stereotypical Call of Cthulhu characters, which means they are the ones least likely to come up as even character concepts. Especially if the players are treating CoC like Dungeons and Dragons or Pathfinder where they are murder hobos. Call of Cthulhu is *not* like D&D and punishes you for treating the game like D&D and the DM should as well.

[@adamcohill1617]

The "honk" thing would get quite annoying I love it...m

[@WorldWalker128]

I never thought I'd pity a clown.

[@noelhutchins7366]

Half dead half sad: just expressions' swords'; pivots...

[@ratgutsnorthwind9154]

This is flawless

[@allancornell2191]

Of course they couldn't find bonzy. He was welcomed into The Great Dark Carnival. And wicked clowns... NEVER Die.

[@waffleless]

How do you lose BOTH arms to cancer?

[@coyotearmory]

waffleless when the doctor is dyslexic.

[@waffleless]

Grease.E coyote Doctor: “Lol whoops”

[@GreenStuffConsumer]

Bonzy sounds like an 80s badass

[@pawemackowski451]

Love this story.

[@monkeydragonson9851]

I’m a horrible person and I love it

[@thepineappleman8831]

This is such a good story

[@falloutbos34]

Right in the feels.

[@K.J.Saunders]

That was beautifull im actally crying.