SCP-5031 │ Yet Another Murder Monster │ Keter │ Omnivorous SCP

[@LucasDimoveo]

"SCP-5031 said it's first word, "Salt", we are all immensely proud" This kinda shit makes my heart happy

[@David9413]

It's nice to know that some people in the foundation cares about treating the things that can appreciate it with kindness when possible.

[@jeremieh5009]

“Be cold not cruel”

[@arnoldschwarzenschnitzel6248]

“Testing successfully concluded.” Such a simple phrase has such a beautiful meaning in the SCP universe. This case makes it 10 times so.

[@aarontrupiano9328]

500 likes.

[@toast6375]

525 likes

[@SnakeBite51]

607 likes.

[@THE_RULE787]

690 likes. Nice

[@nicolopez2181]

777 likes

[@Propulus]

"SCP-5031 has said it's first word: "salt". We are all immensely proud." Enough to make a grown man cry.

[@redender8881]

I get the refence. If you made one.

[@ghosthaze9027]

" not today, get back in there tear (slurp sound)"

[@kristapsmuravjovs7061]

Haha, absolutely. Smiled a full grin hearing that, what a sweet, awesome scp.

[@gotyouchip1179]

Salty tears as well

[@tylerbeltz3480]

lol I think this is my favorite scp I hope his stress levels stay at 0

[@aspenschannel7740]

6:40 The unintentional humor of secret scientists feeding an eldritch horror rotisserie chickens is just A-tier. S-tier after they had to discontinue testing because the monster had eaten too many rotisserie chickens.

[@SirBojo4]

Prove us with fact and logics that not everyone likes rotissery chicken...that's what I tought.

[@Magnacore]

Who goes in there to clean up the poo? The left-tenant, that's who.. 😀

[@cheesusgaming1769]

@@Magnacore it has no excrement thankfully

[@laargboolag9147]

"We accidentally neutralized the eldritch abomination by heart attack after feeding it too many chickens."

[@feeesh4324]

Lmao, it likes playing with balls (not those ones), rotisserie chicken and playing. An absolute icon and marketable merchandise should be made of the character.

[@heavenlyderpfowl1180]

Robert is probably the luckiest d-class ever, all he has to do is help teach an scp and eat first class meals, and he is garunteed to not be offed by the foundation, and doesn't have to be a test subject

[@Nobody-zl3kk]

Part of me feels the foundation or whomever administers D-class personel was like A: "what is he in for?" B: "nothing really, seems like someone just wanted his ass on death row..." A: "Are we seriously putting him in keter duty?" B: "Its a shame, I'll try to set him up somewhere he'll drop quick and painless, dont worry" (files him for 5031 pre-experiments)

[@ragibmahfuz5241]

At this point the foundation might aswell make him a entry level researcher with his bond to the monster

[@Phoenix8492]

Yeah it is a thing that D-Class will be exempt from monthly termination should that particular D-Class be required for containment.

[@Nobody-zl3kk]

@@Phoenix8492 monthly termination hasn't been a very popular or even accepted thing for a bit last time I checked

[@pipermintpat854]

​@@Nobody-zl3kkI always assumed end of month termination could include the amnesia pills and release

[@MaxterandKiwiKing]

He's a creepy eldritch being but that doesn't mean he's evil. He just wants friendship.... And chicken. And more salt.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

And garlic powder.

[@Etamine]

Cooking up chickens is pretty evil though, ngl

[@Techischannel]

@@Etamine Nonono, cooking chicken good. Chicken evil you see. Feathers comfy and they hog all feathers, they hog comfy they evil.

[@Jacob-qz9fo]

I think we can all agree all chickens deserve a little tasty murder.

[@TheDavidPoole]

It's not our fault. Chickens are born delicious!

[@JohnnyTyrant]

This creature showed all the hall marks of a mind in isolation. It attacked indiscriminately because it was afraid of literally everything. All it knew was the box. Now it can speak(very limited, mind you but its mouth isn’t exactly built for English.) play piano, and cook. They literally raised this being through the stages of human development to the point that its a stable, contributing member of the on-site community. Fuckin wholesome af and i love it.

[@cyruskarloff7219]

Scary!

[@WesLikeWest-oc9wr]

The fact you have no comments means you said something the internet decided to agree on. That sir, is a win.

[@elgringofeo9348]

@@WesLikeWest-oc9wr big win

[@MonteScarf]

It is absolutely true

[@roetemeteor]

What's interesting to note it says this point, if it has the capability of vocal language comprehension, and can't pronounce some rudimentary words, then nothing should be stopping it from learning sign language. The only challenge at that point would be having an exceptionally competent interpreter, because with six hands, that's going to be an immense amount of signing in a short period of time.

[@DolusVulpes]

This SCP really does show the importance of testing on living SCPs, regardless of what they look like. The original Containment staff assumed it was a non-sapient monster because of how it looks and locked it in a box, but a few simple tests revealed that it was basically just a lonely child that just needed the same kind of kindness and decency that any other child would need.

[@Sir_Uncle_Ned]

And garlic powder

[@ego8330]

@@Sir_Uncle_Ned espacially garlic powder

[@SorryIHaveNoUsername]

@@Sir_Uncle_Ned guga would be proud

[@Xman34washere]

@@ego8330 most importantly garlic powder

[@Psychoangel-d23]

To be fair if the first human contact with a creature like this ends up with the person in question then being (in many cases) brutaly mutilated to an unrecognizeable degree... Reacting with "Neutralize it asap" is quite natural.

[@graphicdefault603]

Honestly the idea of an eldritch horror going from killing anything to cooking quesadillas really makes my day.

[@nanuqo2006]

“I’m not a fan of abandoning a living creature inside a metal box for 10 years, no matter how pragmatic it may be.” SCP-096:

[@tardigrade8019]

He likes the box, no one judges inside the box.

[@Scaevola9449]

To be fair of all skips 96 probably prefers the metal box

[@epsilonarcaneresearch1945]

096 doesn't want to be seen it doesn't want to hurt and kill. It just wants to be left alone and forgotten.

[@nanuqo2006]

@@epsilonarcaneresearch1945 You can makre sure 096 remains unseen without just locking the thing in Steel

[@thesuperdoge2476]

@@nanuqo2006 how

[@brianknight2282]

Love how the Staff love the music of 5031 and they trusted and loved it enough to allow its food to be served at the cafeteria. Such a nice reprise from all the gloom of normal scp's.

[@shiniblackrose]

Did you read what it fucking cooked? That was like a 5 star meal! I wish i could try it!! Ahah

[@Nightout88]

alot of times I get the feeling people forget the "staff of SCP foundation" are supposed to be "cold not cruel". They don't do this because they want to they do it because they HAVE TO, and they probably don't like sending humans to die anymore then we do. however unlike our universe they HAVE to do this or everyone they know and love dies. They have to swallow their fears their anger, their sadness, they don't like doing this but if they don't everyone one will die not just them. its a case of "The needs of the many vs The needs of a few" and its really quite sad.

[@Scaevola9449]

@@Nightout88 The idea of what the Foundation is supposed to be like has changed significantly over the course of the site's lifespan and still varies wildly from author to author/reader to reader.

[@AndorRadnai]

@@Nightout88 It is refreshing to see a secret organisation being a genuinely lawful (or sometimes rather chaotic) good collection of individuals. No ulterior motives, no schemes, just a genuine mission to keep humans safe.

[@suitguy969]

​@@AndorRadnai I'd say the Foundation is LN, if anything. They're not exactly *good*, but they're definitely not *evil.* They're just maintaining the veil and keeping humanity alive.

[@nowhereman6019]

Oooh, this is a really nice SCP. Rehabilitating an Anomaly psychologically stunted and harmed by the callousness of the Foundation.

[@Raximus3000]

Civilized, not rehabilitate. Hopefuly it won't end badly.

[@lydiahood7725]

@@Raximus3000 I think in this case it would end well, obviously the being decided that white meat was more its thing than red meat, which mean humans aren't on its primary food list anymore, followed by the positive interactions with humans, they are likely gone entirely from it, so long as its provided appropriate food their is no reason unless some fucking asshole come around and mess with the poor being for it to ever be hostile again.

[@Raximus3000]

@@lydiahood7725 Or that being changes, here is the thing it an unknown, treating it like a being whose existance is comprehend in an actual way is foolish. It develops intelligence and has a desire to eat without having a need to do so. If its "life cycle" includes other changes and dangerous side effects is still possible. It is not just an odd animal or a mutant. Since it has proven i can easly kill a person the Keter class should remain.

[@jacobfreeman5444]

This one is quite sweet. It shows that not all the entities that are dangerous have to be dangerous. That some are just the victims of circumstances and could be harnessed for the betterment of all. Of course there are still a lot of immortal murder lizards, rotting sadists, and insane and unstoppable pale men...but maybe every once in awhile there is just an intelligent being who has no malicious agenda that just needed someone to find a way to reach out and connect.

[@onemansvoice9132]

@@Raximus3000 no

[@BLK_MN]

I loved reading this one, the step by step process of brave/actual scientists realizing, “These containment methods are just primitive and sub-standard. We need to be better researchers.” Lo and behold, they figured out, “Hey, this thing isn’t dangerous at all!”

[@acubicsnake1630]

True some scp should not be contained (as others should absolutely be contained ( and even terminated)) .

[@sechran]

One might argue that such testing goes beyond the goals of Secure, Contain, Protect, however... being able to turn a murderous, perpetually screaming, multi-limbed killamajig into a communicative, music loving foodie who can be reasoned with and kept content with extremely mundane and reasonable means makes the creature infinitely more manageable on all accounts.

[@connorthornberg]

Well it IS dangerous, but so are humans or any animal if they're mistreated. It just needed go be raised like anything else.

[@elcastro5000]

@@connorthornberg I think "dangerous" when talking about scps kind of implies a different kind of danger than the kind presented by your average human or animal. But yeah you're right. Just about everything has dangerous potential. Doesn't mean it's inherently and unredeemably hostile though.

[@sechran]

@@connorthornberg Yeah, I don't think this thing could ever be considered Safe, but when all you really have to do to contain it is keep it well stocked up on kitchen supplies and give it access to music...? Compared to a lot of Keter which are all, "and every third new moon you must perform the ritual code named hokey pokey on a virgin's grave and sacrifice twelve goats by dipping them in molten gold"... It's more than putting it in a box and leaving it there, sure, but moving heaven and earth it is not. Just saying, I could see this reclassified as Euclid.

[@omutsukimi]

The fact that this was categorized as keter had me worried throughout the whole video that it would turn out to be insidious in nature. I'm really glad to see that it was apparently mis-categorized. Also, I absolutely love the image at the end.

[@actualturtle2421]

The object class actually has very little to do with the danger of the skip and more to do with how difficult it is to contain. See: locked box analogy.

[@cookiecraze1310]

Keter doesn't mean dangerous. I think it's killing instinct was caused by being locked in a box alone for decades. It could probably be put down to a Euclid containment and safe for danger (if they put a rubber holster on its tail while interacting with others)

[@tardigrade8019]

@@cookiecraze1310 It feels like it should have been Euclid from the start. The invisibility is a problem, but the were able to keep it in a box for ten years with no mentioned containment breaches. They only checked the box for damage on a by-weekly basis. Meeting it wasn't able to rapidly break through the walls of its enclosure.

[@KeshikS2C]

I feel like it should be reduced to Euclid at this point.

[@malcolmdarke5299]

One test that's sometimes used is the "locked box test" - stick it in a locked box and see what happens. If nothing happens (save normal deterioration over time), it's Safe. Most objects that only do something while held, worn, observed, etc. are Safe. If something happens (such as a biological subject perishing due to lack of water or, as in this case, perpetual screaming), it's Euclid. Most living things default to Euclid. If all hell breaks loose, or it's fundamentally impossible to stick in a locked box, it's Keter. Things with bizarre or inherently esoteric containment procedures (such as requiring drenching in hydrofluoric acid, containment in Telekill or contactless containment) typically count as Keter. Furthermore, anything that spontaneously breaks containment or generates more of itself without external stimulus counts as Keter. If it *is* the box, it's Apollyon. Very little qualifies for Apollyon status, but Telekill is one of those somethings. Note: None of these classes says anything about how dangerous it is. It's possible for an intensely-dangerous object to be Safe just because it only does something when intentionally used, and it's possible for an otherwise-harmless object to be Keter if any attempt to contain it fails.

[@Violettheconfuzzled5766]

I’m not sure that you’re aware of this. But a link from the SCP wiki sends you from the SCP-5031 page to this video stating: “A safe version of this document in video format may be viewed here.” Congratulations. You are canon now.

[@koa4478]

Awww, this SCP was just alone, scared and hungry and now it's happy, this genuinely makes me smile

[@cyruskarloff7219]

Scary... very scary.

[@Silexiaa]

I want this guy to run enrichment tests on other SCPs, this is so wholesome

[@sam-ds3nh]

"Scp 682 now enjoys finger painting and plays the violin"

[@trebacca9]

Anyone who knows some animal husbandry can probably discern that half the animate skips would be WAY more docile and less likely to escape if given proper enrichment and some attempts to socialize them.

[@Erreul]

@@trebacca9 That is an excellent point.

[@summonwyvern]

@@trebacca9 As someone whose worked with shelter & farm animals back when I was studying to become a veterinary technician, I wholeheartedly agree.

[@solar_co]

@@trebacca9 hello, this is researcher 13498. I'd like to formally apply for a position in anomaly husbandry and enrichment at site 753. I have vast experience in the husbandry of venomous and otherwise dangerous non-anomalous specemins. Yes, I would let that caiman bite my arm off if she wanted to. Yes, I know what I'm getting into. No, I'm not crazy, doctor.

[@petulantpeterturbo]

I love how this is basically a jab at the early days of SCP, here is a monster, like so many, that is treated at first like nothing more than that. Then, as serious research goes into it, good morality takes over.

[@brandonvelde5774]

Tbf I feel like that jab is a little unfair, since those lazy (albeit effective) Containment Procedures weren't that popular back then either. (It was pretty common for authors to overcomplicate Containment Procedures and go into great detail about the care and maintenance of an anomaly).

[@rog2224]

@@brandonvelde5774 The way SCP-590 was treated, I don't think the jab is unwarranted. "Note: SCP-590 is not to be named as anything other than Five Ninety. He is a tool to be used, not someone's friend, sibling, or child. Anyone found forming attachments to an SCP will be removed to a less people-intensive duty." renders the foundation of that time something of a smouldering dung heap.

[@brandonvelde5774]

@@rog2224 True but you also had stuff like SCP-811, which goes into great detail on how to take care of her.

[@CorwinTheOneAndOnly]

To be fair, those "early containment procedures" make sense in-canon, as a lot of the early SCPs they had to contain were absolutely the "contain-at-all-costs" types. 096 probably traumatized the foundation heads enough for them to want "contain in a soulless box" as the default *before* anyone tried to mess with it.

[@Mr.Neophyte]

The reason for the methods used in the early days, was because they're meant to be objective and distant towards the subject. Their motto is "Cold, not cruel." Then again one could argue that isolating a creature, that was effectively starting with the mental capacity of an infant, is in fact an act of cruelty. But the end result is, nonetheless, a pleasant turn of events

[@bird330]

the way you delivered the line "we are all immensely proud" made it seem so genuine, you have quite the way with words

[@brandonweir2873]

I loved this story. You so rarely hear of the foundation caring genuinely, and it makes them feel more and more like necessary monsters. It was great to hear them make a suffering creature calm and happy, and I'm sure makes for a far better containment for all.

[@KirillTheBeast]

I can't recall who said it, but it went something like "The Foundation is ansolutely evil, the O5 council is unapologetically pragmatic, but the staff members are just people; they cover the whole spectrum of what mankind can be, regardless of training or indoctrination". This SCP's article is a good example of what should happen if a genuinely good person manages to land a high-ranking enough position; they're bound to take steps to make the world a more comfortable place for ALL its inhabitants, including anomalies. Hell, they might incidentally make other staff's lives easier in the process... xD Edit: fuck the grammar police coming straight from the underground, etc.

[@ragibmahfuz5241]

​@KirillTheBeast I'm not sure why they didn't try to atleast test with the scp first, because of the tests, this scp now has a bond with humans, if it sees a friend getting hurt, it might protect in any way it could

[@themadvirus613]

Stanley Huxtable is canonically a revolutionary. Another SCP was directly altered because of Huxtable's work.

[@KappaKiller108]

This is legitimately one of my favorite SCPs in the 5,000 series. It takes something we were all bored of, generic murder monsters that you can't see, and made it into something absolutely endearing.

[@ChipCheerio]

I mean we’re running out of murder monsters by the time we hit the 5000 series, so the only place left to go seems to be weird meta narratives like this one

[@protalghulnist4126]

@@ChipCheerio Running out of murder monsters? Who are you kidding?

[@ChipCheerio]

@@protalghulnist4126 No one? I mean god damn how many straight up murder monsters are in the SCP verse? 682, 106, 173, and 096 are the most famous right off the bat, but there’s a shit ton of them throughout the place. It’s just not inventive enough anymore, you have to be more creative than the random anon’s that started this place nowadays.

[@protalghulnist4126]

@@ChipCheerio see we can talk about inventiveness sure, obviously it can get tiresome, but my point isn’t whether or not it’s still created, it’s whether or not it can be done, by saying “we’re running out of murder monsters” you make it sound like it’s hard to come up with more, which is definitely not the case, there will never be a shortage of murder monsters regardless of how much you enjoy them

[@ChipCheerio]

@@protalghulnist4126 in the context of a collective creative writing project with an metric ton of murder monsters, we kinda are running out of new ones. My point is if we fill the 6000 series with more things reminiscent of the 0000 series, then we’re just stagnating. We’re functionally out of murder monsters because we’re in a different era of SCP. We’re not just posting on /X/ anymore. I say all this to say, we are sorta running out. Can we write more generic monsters that just kill people? Yes. Are they gonna be good? Probably not. Are they worth adding to the SCP wiki? Almost certainly not.

[@raulramos6144]

A rare thing that horror fiction has me rooting for the monster with a sense of pride and elation at it's joy. Good for you, Chef Six.

[@lazchurchyard1229]

We are all Immensely proud

[@ashleighstratmann7783]

Oh, the SCP that once was a killer but turns out just wanted someone to acknowledge it and turn out to be a good cook. Having several arms and a scythe like tail helps. In someways it started as the opposite of Shy Guy, where it stayed in the shadows but wanted to be noticed instead of Shy Guys hard to miss features and yet don't want to be seen

[@raptalos9412]

This story makes me happy

[@SchizoGenius]

I think it's just a baby... thing.

[@ImieNazwiskoOK]

Maybe Shy Guy could also somewhat recover

[@ashleighstratmann7783]

@@ImieNazwiskoOK With 999's help its possible.

[@lazchurchyard1229]

Did it turn around from killing, or did a decade of isolation break it

[@exterminater267]

I want more of these SCP's converted to Audio. That was absolutely fantastic. The amount of wholesome that was portrayed was incredible. "SCP-5031 has said it's first word; "Salt." We are all immensely proud." This got me.

[@dylkiller3501]

I can just imagine the sound of when it was playing with the bowling balls and got mad when one broke. Just a couple clunks followed by a cracking sound, a few seconds of silence, then just screaming

[@AfternoonWolfSpice]

Consider my expectations averted. This story was oddly wholesome. I think it should remain in containment, but it sounds like it deserves to be provided all the amenities for it to thrive.

[@theonlyosh4088]

I almost feel bad for it, they’ve raise to such a standard but it kind of has to stay in containment cause the second someone looks at it, it stops existing.

[@blackosprey2219]

If anything, containment is probably the best outcome for the creature. The Foundation understands its interests and oddities as best that people can, and they're willing to provide for it. Other groups of interest would want to kill or exploit it.

[@EvilTreeFrogs]

Aw this was surprisingly wholesome. A good Dr at the foundation, a mistreated SCP, and a D-class "test subject" who found a friend. I loved it!

[@munkeydude777]

lord knows those D-classers usually get the short end of the stick

[@amandaofhouserobinson6707]

Totally!!!

[@cyruskarloff7219]

Don't let it fool you. :-0

[@hartianx1698]

I'd wonder if they let that D-Class live since I'm sure the SCP likes to have him around also and it's good for it's mental health.

[@easternprotoderg]

This was so unexpectedly wholesome that I actually wish SCP-5031 existed so I could hangout with it

[@moonymonster]

Same, sounds like a chill dude

[@Red_MOON187]

You'd have to ready the blindfold lols.

[@walls_of_skulls6061]

@@Red_MOON187 just not the scp

[@Animotion3D]

he's got mad homie energy ngl

[@thegoldenwaddledee]

This SCP is just a fun read all around. Inserting a creature that looks generically nightmarish and allowing someone to explore its psychology to find out it has genuine passions and emotion is so freaking charming. Thank you PeppersGhost for writing one of the best SCP's I've seen/read in a long time, and of course TheVolgun for allowing the community to grow through your greatly produced narrations here!

[@cyruskarloff7219]

Good entry, but still scary to me. It killed a lot of people and animals sometime. And the warning about inaccuracies is nebulous.

[@d4s0n282]

@@cyruskarloff7219 to be fair, it only did that since it has no difference between right and wrong, like how children dont think its wrong to bully and such

[@Morgan_of_the_Maxilla]

@@cyruskarloff7219 If you were tortured and left with no interaction in a box for ten years you’d probably kill the first thing you see in sheer terror at how warped your mind becomes

[@cyruskarloff7219]

@@Morgan_of_the_Maxilla - 🙂 That is because I'm NORMAL. Not an SCP.

[@Morgan_of_the_Maxilla]

@@cyruskarloff7219 this thing is a living being

[@lorenzo1425]

I like the little details in this one, like the monster learning Robert's name, implying Huxtable calls D class by their first names. Even just how the introduction describes it as a cell vs Huxtable calling it an enclosure is a nice touch

[@purplefrank9717]

I really wish there was a continuation where the class is downgraded and they finally revise containment. Like send the D class in to keep it calm then slowly pop the rivets on the box to reveal a much larger and more comfy room. One with a massive kitchen tons of speakers and a wall sized touch screen monitor with a full selection of most music ever made, except for the more gruesome or violent ones. In addition, add in a massive library with tons of oversized cook books and wholesome literature. Maybe even slowly teach it how to do math and speak in full sentences. Maybe even set up an enrichment area like a zen garden complete with rescue shelter pets that are blind or blindfolded to give it something to care for. Slowly introduce more personnel with interests in cooking and have 5031 teach them how to cook blindfolded.

[@ImDaRealBoi]

This story definitely needs to be continued by the author. I imagine that they'll allow 5031 to adopt a blind pet, maybe allow some of the other personnel to visit. Maybe during a containment breach, 5031 decides to stay in its containment area because it's been treated well. So much can be done with this scp and it's interactions with the rest of the site. I want Youseff to be proven wrong.

[@mrgodzillaraptors8632]

@@ImDaRealBoi that's were tales come in

[@garrettreven5144]

Do you want to make an invisible mad-scientist? Cuz that's how you get one!

[@ProfessorDoctorC]

Well, in the Resurrection canon it eventually joins an MTF...

[@daddylonglegs3698]

Do you think the invisibility problem could be quickly solved through giving it a thin rubber suit? It’d take a lot of rubber, complex design, would need blacked out eyeholes, and may be difficult to get it in, but I think a barrier between the entity itself and the eyes of an observer can protect it from ceasing to exist.

[@NicholasKratzer]

YES! It's my favorite SCP monster! So much of the Foundation is doom, gloom, and cruelty, that it is so refreshing to see them actually improve an anomaly's life and wellbeing. Love the 3d model you made for it. I always had a hard time imagining what this skip looked like, given the description.

[@TheVolgun]

Yeah I thought this was a good one for the holiday period.

[@Bappo35]

I absolutely love it's chef hat

[@NicholasKratzer]

@@TheVolgun That is an excellent choice. Very appropriate for the season.

[@Iylandrea]

This has always been my favorite SCP

[@violetsapphire952]

Senior Researcher Huxtable, bringing our foundation closer to Avalon one SCP at a time. Stanley Huxtable deserves to become a recurring character.

[@Anansi1701]

That is the dream, ngl.

[@gamingkid3809]

He's got a REEEEEEAL recognisable name ngl Edit for whatever reason KZbin just anohilated My comment's structure

[@Acadeimos]

Gods if only we could get Avalon. I’d die happy.

[@Jeremiah71603]

Better hope he doesn't get ahold of the 3D Specs, or have an Orcadian Horseman get ahold of him, or any other SCP that isn't Safe or Thamiel.

[@DJ_Penguin]

This was unexpectedly heartwarming. I'm surprised that the foundation hasn't changed its designation to at least Euclid , or safe for that matter. It showed grief at life lost and basically became Gordon Ramsay.

[@Fattts]

If you recall, that's the original plot device. This document is under review, because of Dr Huxtable's testing.

[@CrazyMegaOmega]

While it may be safe in a similar way to any regular human would be, the classifications are not about how dangerous they are, but rather how difficult they are to contain. Due to scp 5031 being a sentient being its minimum rating would be euclid

[@goldenking2046]

@@Fattts Actually it's the opposite, the original document depicting it as a generic murder monster is under review and Dr Huxtable was the one brought in to revise it. This is pretty clear if you look at the original article.

[@Fattts]

@@goldenking2046 that's what I was attempting to communicate, I just worded it poorly

[@gracefool]

Gordon Ramsay isn't all that safe

[@jeefberky9101]

SCP-5031 getting upset when it damaged the bowling ball elicited a much stronger reaction from me than I had expected

[@jacksoncroww]

I don’t think I’ve ever cried listening/reading an SCP-Document, but hearing “SCP-5031 has a severe peanut allergy and should be noted” made me break a tear. Context: I have a severe peanut allergy. I feel better now.

[@stevendenthead2158]

peabnut 😔

[@darkninjacorporation]

I love this SCP. Probably one of my favorite newer postings. It portrays the foundation as learning and undergoing change. It needs more allies than enemies to survive the modern world. Side note: this is probably one of the best D-class jobs. Where most are sent into hazardous environments, fed to beasts, or used as targets for weapons testing. D-52125 is basically a testing assistant and professional best friend to 5031. He can’t be terminated as that would cause psychological anguish for the creature. They have to keep him around to play with 5031 whenever his “Robert” button is pressed.

[@DefensorsPacis]

As a Robert, I volunteer as tribute. I genuinely kept thinking "Man, I wish I could be his friend." Never in my life have I wished to eat food or listen to music made by a monster, but I have now. I do wonder if the D-class has any idea what it actually is, though. Knowing the foundation, he was kept in the dark(literally and metaphorically). They've been hanging out with a 6 armed, scythe tailed torso and they didn't even know it.

[@gabelessing7455]

@@DefensorsPacis there is a section where 5031 is taught how to draw with Robert. That could have been an interesting revelation for him once he opened his eyes. Really is an interesting character. I imagined a jaded criminal remembering raising a child or caring for a younger sibling while they hesitantly play with this creature and learn to love life again

[@darkninjacorporation]

@@gabelessing7455 I’d imagine he wouldn’t be too heavy of a criminal. The Foundation doesn’t like putting violent offenders on assignments that require a calm and level headed test subject. I like to imagine some of their D-class stay on for much longer than others, without an employee termination date. They’re not all monsters.

[@cyruskarloff7219]

Letting someone (anyone) from a bond, with an SCP, is a Outrageous breach of protocol. Scary.

[@FarremShamist]

@@darkninjacorporation There isn't an employee termination date anymore, at least, on an official sense. There are still canons where it's the case probably, but generally, that fell into "cruelty" for most, and a huge waste of resources. Some do need to be due to hazards, and D-class are viewed as more expendable, but they are also usually the ones that are to interact with an SCP. They generally need more information than you might think, as well. They might not be told all the minutia of the containment process, but they do work alongside researchers on many occasions, not always locked in boxes on a prison schedule, what have you. Treated as human, but kept close watch on because they're generally not there willingly.

[@Jacob-qz9fo]

This entire SCP summed up in a sentence. "Have you tried being gentle?" Now who's the monster?

[@careydaniels310]

A content anomaly is a contained anomaly, and SCP is a great example of that

[@Jacob-qz9fo]

@Space Vatnik nah no simping here, usually the foundation is callous and reckless. I place the credit for this positive out come squarely on the shoulders of the project head for his superior morals and patience.

[@Elneco1]

5031 cook book when?

[@mangouschase]

Right after the comeback of origami dragons.

[@Voc_spooksauce]

I love this SCP, not only is it an interesting monster, but also you get to see some of the SCP personel being actually good people and trying to improve the anomaly's well being. The way it ends up improving not only itself but it's relationship with others is really great too. Also also, thank you for adding the chef hat to it, lovely ! Cheers from Brazil, hope anyone reading this is having a great day :)

[@Bards.98]

Hue

[@anarmedillo8431]

huehuehue

[@zekthan32]

Just like the teleporting chair, this is exactly why the SCP foundation does what it does. And why the GOC is wrong. Catagorically.

[@cedarcoder2005]

YOU ARE GOING TO BRAZIL

[@tobias5067]

I paused the video before i got the chance to see the chef's hat, thank you!

[@RNAnimations-gt8tf]

My heart yearned for a log of a scientist just being compassionate to an SCP and giving it a chance and I can comfortably say this is exactly what I’ve wanted

[@Onetruemilo]

the d class in this story is lucky, he is now saved from death because the scp will never hurt him, and he can't be used for other testing because it would cause the scp stress, plus he gets to try 5 star food and listen to beautiful music, he's so set

[@doctabaldhead]

What a ridiculously good boy. I kept waiting for the awful twist where he was actually evil and manipulative or for something to happen to his D-class buddy and set him off but it was just the story of a nice monster that happened to be feral and the rare SCP scientist who isn't a complete sociopath training him. This was a genuinely refreshing entry.

[@bluecapgun785]

This makes me want to see a whole series of spc articles of old entries being revised and rewritten, with special attention paid to "humanitarianism" and trying to rehabilitate seemingly dangerous spcs.. might have to be an alternate canon but it would make a great story.

[@Idran]

Check out SCP-6001; it's not _quite_ this but it's close. :3

[@aarontrupiano9328]

@@Idran i was just going to mention that. perhape this universe is on its way to opening up that singularity

[@Wobbmin]

@@Idran Just now read it. Great read. One of my new favorites. 5031 even makes an appearance.

[@mercury5003]

As much as I love this SCP I feel like it would get old eventually. That said I think more scps should show that the proper research was done to determine the hostility of their subjects

[@guymanhumanperson]

lmao shark punching center

[@-nt-baguetted1298]

"Guys Literally Only Want One Thing And It's Fucking Disgusting" ***Salt***

[@b.c.2281]

This gives me star trek vibes, in the best possible way. Learning to understand, communicate with and even help a completely alien subject, it's great, I wish there were more like this.

[@RageDuck0]

"Stress levels at 0% testing complete" i don't know why but this brought a tear to my eye lol

[@enthiegavoir5955]

I like to think there's a bit of a meta narrative of the first report being the actual submission which was poorly received, and the author revised it into one of the most warm and fuzzy feeling SCPs on the site.

[@apollyonnoctis1291]

Honestly, this was the best decision the author made, revising the document to not only analyze the problems with the foundation contains anomalies, ie, the containment protocols are sometimes unnecessarily cruel and many times make the anomaly more dangerous, or how the foundation is many times unwilling to help improve an anomaly and possibly subdue it to lessen its danger; but also could tie to how many prisons treat their inmates, instead of helping them with problems they may have so that they can become reformed, they treat inmates with cruelty, which can damage their mental state such that they become even more dangerous.

[@coke_the_gal2813]

@@zcgamerandreacts2762 ??? what the hell does that have to do with anything. Prisons are shit, and justice is way more complicated than "person do bad thing, they go to jail." Most people can learn to not be shitty, and if they cant, separate them from society, don't like... kill em, death penalty is awful and immoral.

[@onemansvoice9132]

@@zcgamerandreacts2762 You can

[@papaicebreakerii8180]

@@apollyonnoctis1291 I feel like SCPs have more in common with animal containment. Like finding some random new species that is tested on its mental capacity, danger, etc. and contained accordingly

[@pedroff_1]

@@onemansvoice9132 Yeah, you definitely can. There are some medications that can help with impulse control (something commonly lacking in paraphilic disorders) and some can even manage to find a satisfying sex life woth consenting adults

[@navarog378]

I feel after being assigned to scp 096 researcher Huxtable would be like: Ah yes, as it turns out the shy guy just needed an extensive therapy, after a few months of work he became a sports coach at site 19, oh and he's a preety good poet as well.

[@civilizedmonkey1795]

Next up, SCP 682. Object Class: Safe

[@aslanhoskin1592]

What would be funny is if Researcher Huxtable turns out to be a Thaumiel SCP. Its not that he happens to work with SCPs in a way that humanizes the ones that had potential to be humanized but instead that the anomalous effects of Researcher Huxtable is when he works with an SCP it results in the SCP gaining human like intelligence and emotions.

[@vCherrykAI16]

@@aslanhoskin1592 I love that theory! It would make such an interesting tale.

[@milanelst5754]

SCP 096 HAS BROKEN CONTAINMENT AND IS FUCKING BALLING ON THE SITE COURTYARD

[@Idran]

@@aslanhoskin1592 That would be funny, but I think I'd like it less? That then makes the whole thing an implicit "the treatment we give these things actually is deserved most of the time" message

[@hermeschase4113]

Me at the beggining: Why the hell would you interact with that thing? Just keep it locked man, you're gonna bring hell on us just by the looks of it! Me at the middle of the video: *Feels bad about 5031 when he gets frustrated at the puzzle and gets happy once he manages to solve it* Me after watching the video: Let the guy have his chicken man, he's a good boy.

[@0shinigami321]

I love the D class in this, he honestly is happy spending time with 5031. This shows that the foundation isn't all evil or malicious. There are honest people who understand that there are dangers and that the D class know going into this they will die. This SCP shows that when a researcher stops and thinks not all of them are bad

[@FarremShamist]

Generally The Foundation attempts to keep D-class alive how they can, with all sorts of precautions (here it was as simple as a blindfold being lifted), but it raises interesting points to treatment of otherwise seemingly dangerous SCPs. Many do need to be contained due to their excessive danger, but many also do not need to be just locked in a box without a key.

[@ThePhantomStinker]

The more this goes on, the more I feel like this was written to be a comedy. "DOCTOR!!! I TRIED TO PLAY KICKBALL WITH THE BIRDY AND NOW IT'S NOT MOVING!!!"

[@timothyt.82]

"After careful consideration, the O5 Council has unanimously agreed that this is uncharacteristically nice of our Foundation, and have voted to cease all interaction with SCP-5031 and resume previous containment procedures." ~ O5-14 Addendum - Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to impersonate O5 Council members.

[@WobblesandBean]

But he IS an 05 member. We're not supposed to know that, but it's hinted at very strongly.

[@peterjohnson11655]

@@WobblesandBean ...In some headcanons. There is no true canon, and the actual identities of the O5s are one of the most inconsistent things across the site (hell, in some stories there isn't even an O5 council!).

[@sephikong8323]

@@peterjohnson11655 but at the same time, even when you assume a headcanon where he is part of the 05, this is one of the shenanigans he could 100% make and speak on behalf of everyone when he's the only one saying it and only for trolling purposes

[@The_Elite_Emerald]

I ain't gonna lie I about fell out of my chair when I read that. you win sir.

[@koolaidjammer7108]

@@WobblesandBean I thought it was his father that was an 05 member

[@MariusRiley]

: "Tonight on 'Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives'... I travel to Bio-Site 59 to see what all the fuss is about with the facility's chef, SCP-5031!"

[@TheSpookiestSkeleton]

I support this kind of foundation. Secure, Contain, Protect, Habilitate

[@foxman105]

Rehabilitate? Hmm....

[@KormVerde]

Secure, comfort, protect

[@DefensorsPacis]

@@foxman105 Well, yes, but also no. It really depends on your perspective. It would only be rehabilitation if it was to reverse damage done. So, if it wasn't constantly at 100% stress before containment, then it's rehabilitation, because the Foundation were the ones that caused its distress. However, if it was just naturally stressed, then they were habilitating it for the first time in its life. So really, you're both right.

[@alienoutcast7374]

@@foxman105 I'd like to see you rehabilitate the old man lol

[@Animotion3D]

@@KormVerde please

[@giatrunzo5897]

This is now one of my favorite SCPs and file. It's love for rotissery chicken made me chuckle. It was also nice to hear a happy ending. Especially the "SCP-5031 has said it's first word: "salt". We are all immensely proud." It shows more of the caring side of the foundation and reminds you that they are human workers there. A nice reminder that even though the foundation may be locking these entities up, its not out of hate, but rather they just want to protect humanity. They cn still protect humanity and still show compasion for the entities in their care.

[@Otokogoroshi]

This is probably my favorite SCP, not because of the creature (though he is cool and very charming) but because the writer wasn't trying to do what many SCP submitters try to do: Be scary, weird, caring more about creating a monster than telling a story. So many SPCs boil down to 'It's a scary murder monster! Motivation? MURDER! Personality? KILLLL'. This is absolutely the best.

[@jasoman3899]

You forget half way through that they are all doing this without seeing the actual SCP.

[@DolusVulpes]

They can see it, otherwise they wouldn't know what it's doing during the tests.

[@mov7526]

@@DolusVulpes they only look at it shadow, direct line of sight cause the scp to disappeare

[@tylerbeltz3480]

They most likely have the lights set up so they can observe it’s shadow

[@DolusVulpes]

@@mov7526 cameras count as indirect viewing. And they'd have to be able to look straight at it somehow, because otherwise how would they be able to know exactly what it looks like and see it do things like juggle?

[@DolusVulpes]

@@smeggiamagarwine that just causes a plothole then, because there's a lot of bits of the tests that don't make sense if they can only see the shadow. How did they know it was having an allergic reaction to peanuts? I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying it makes the article seem less plausible to me, since to see SCP 5031 do all the things it did and know how it was doing them would require SCP 5031's shadow to both be the only shadow in the enclosure and also for the shadow to have some level level detail, which shadows just don't have.

[@lydiahood7725]

The thing to understand basically with this SCP is that some SCPs are lifeforms that exist without a social structure as we do, think about how any of us would be if we were never taught how to behave as a human being if we were pretty much self-taught living in the wilds, we'd go around killing stuff, likely kill people too when encountered unless the interaction from those humans encountered was very non-threatening and peaceful, it wouldn't be strange to us as basically its life as is. Add on the difference in race it means unlike a wild human interaction with a civilized humans, their is no basis for social interaction between members of the same race, which mean that unless likely one party undertake interaction with great care, its likely to end up poorly. Basically you are less likely to kill on sight a being that is like you, but something that isn't like you isn't likely to be sympathized with unless some rare anomalous reaction come into play.

[@Foxxie0kun]

Add on how its motor skills and thinking was very rudimentary (Too fast bowling ball toward a chicken is an easy bit of logic for us to think will result in dead chicken, after all), and it was likely acting on pure instinct with its tail. Its origins aren't known at all, but for all we know it never had cause or opportunity to learn how to use its hands and killing and eating because even though it doesn't NEED to eat for sustenance, eating could be therapeutic for it. It was basically a wild toddler thrashing about in fear and loneliness, so to see it become so much more due to this line of research makes me hopeful that more SCP Foundation policy can rehabilitate or civilize supposedly ultra dangerous SCPs. No one had any cause to think 5031 had any intelligence, but then they never tested to make sure until this series of tests. I'm willing to bet that 5031 has a long career ahead of them as a gourmet chef and the world's only 6-armed pianist. Imagine how awesome this project was for the D-Class and the site personnel, to be uplifting and civilizing a dangerous SCP to the point it becomes such an amazing chef and musician? Good for morale is putting it lightly, compared to all the projects where you're walking on eggshells and planning to save the last bullet for yourself in a containment breach.

[@slamshift6927]

Eh, not exactly. Humans, as a species, take so long to mature that we practically require a social species to be viable as a species. Wolves are fully grown within a year and a half, humans? We're not really viable on our own physically till around 16 years old. That's a *long* time on a survival timescale. Most wild animals don't even live that long.

[@trebacca9]

This is a fascinating one. It really highlights just how much good the Foundation could do with more emphasis on attempts to rehabilitate or at least train some of the skips. If 5031 here can fully learn to speak, it may end up classed as Euclid or even Safe. Considering it seems to enjoy interaction now that it's been socialized, it may grow to be a talkative and artistic individual, and perhaps may end up as a morale booster to its site. Having an excellent site chef and resident artist/musician could probably help offset a lot of the psychological harm suffered as part of working for the Foundation.

[@rhymebeat1142]

No sentient being ever is labelled safe, even if they are an ordinary human with relatively harmless anomalies. That's because the classes are based on difficulty of containment. A sentient being is always at risk of thinking their way out of containment. TBH this guy probably should never have been labelled Keter for the reason because they were always very containable

[@trebacca9]

@@rhymebeat1142 You're right, of course. This is another one that really benefits from the new multi-classification system, with a Euclid containment class, a moderate Disruption Class, and a very low (eventually) Risk Class.

[@Oliepolie]

@@rhymebeat1142 its most likely because when you look at him, he disappears. makes it kinda hard to recapture when you can only indirectly observe him. Most significant probably, is that if you pay attention to the dates this creature has progressed far faster than any human could mentally, and if you continue to extend this growth you might begin to see them thinking of ways to breach containment, and becoming much smarter than the greatest minds SCP has to offer. If they ever revise this I wouldn't be surprised if they come to find out the exact same thing

[@thesun5275]

I feel that by the end of the article it should definitely be pushed to move down the scale to safe. It clearly doesn't like to kill, and likes to do genuine good things.

[@lordofthewest]

D52125 started out as just monster bait, but over time got to be best friends with the monster , teach it to cook and watch like a proud parent as he becomes a professional chef.

[@abydosianchulac2]

Considering the most common source for D Class, you'd have to imagine this was a hugely rehabilitating experience for him as well

[@misterid1075]

It’s not just that it’s a feel good story. It’s also well written with realistic progression.

[@SaintUpthrust]

What I really love about this is how involved D-52125 is in the experimentation log, as a subtle reminder that Foundation protocol still prevents them from humanizing D-class by using their actual names. 5031 was a massive success, but they have a long way to go

[@fallentitan9811]

One of my favorite SCPs, treated so harshly at first but then goes to show that looks aren’t everything.

[@BofaDeez77781]

It’s crazy the compassion the researcher shows towards this scp, love that this keter scp is learning to interact with other entities safely

[@cheesusgaming1769]

Reclassified to safe in the official document

[@SomeGuyYouDontKnow74]

05-1:"why are we spending $200 on rotisserie chicken?" Dr:"for science"

[@Yeeticus31]

Such a precious SCP, one of my personal favorites. When I first came across it in another video, it changed my whole perspective. Although some monsters really aren’t capable of sentience or kindness, there are still some that… are.

[@-GuessMyName]

Holy hell-- "Yet another murder monster", yet it's one of the most wholesome (and borderline harmless--only borderline due to the fact it can easily kill anyone in an instant if it chose to, yet shies away from killing any playmates or harming them) SCPs out there. Quick to learn, and rather enjoys human interaction. Although it can't be perceived directly, it definitely leaves quite the powerful impression. Really didn't come here expecting something this cute and heartwarming, especially with the Keter classification. Definitely glad that's all there was, though. 5031 is like a (quickly) growing child, and that part of it makes it so cute.. outside of the menacing appearance. To you, the person reading this, be sure to have a *great* day and/or night. It's time to advance from pleasant to *great*, so be sure to make your day *great* again, if it's not already that way. Grasp every necessity that you have by the figurative balls and make them yours, so you're comfy, hydrated, and safe! Stay beautiful, stay wonderful, and have a *great* winter!

[@riekab8119]

Thanks! You too!

[@thesun5275]

It understands empathy from the beginning which is really interesting. It got extremely upset when it accidentally killed the chicken, that indicates an extreme level of empathy from the get go, not "I killed a plaything" it was clearly upset that it accidentally killed something.

[@-GuessMyName]

​@@thesun5275 (Didn't expect a notification from here, but this one's welcomed!) Yeah, the ability to be upset about harming (and ending) life is what it has. I love this SCP for how it is. Might be a monster with its appearance and physical capabilities, but it's sure as hell not a mindlessly violent existence!

[@simtexa]

I'm pretty sure the name is meant to be ironic. The entire entry feels as if it is effectively semi-satire of the archetypical "murder monster" SCPs that just kill people indiscriminately for no reason. This entry presents the "murder monster" as more of a neutral entity. It was a traumatised and poorly adjusted being, that presumably had been treated with nothing but hostility from everyone in the past. The entry is like a criticism of the stereotypical SCPs that are just evil for no reason. It reminds me a bit of SCP-163, "An Old Castaway" in that it is a rather monstrous looking entity that may elect fear in many people, but an entity that nevertheless isn't actually inherently evil or malevolent.

[@SnakeBite51]

@Guess My Name I agree on most of it but on your very last bit the message to the "person reading this" I assume me I cannot due easily so you have forced my hand *Dramatically Raises Hands from underneath the table Slaming them down to reveal 7 Uno cards between each hand being held* Now my turn and my choice is to *Extremely Boisterous and Aggressively Pulls one Uno card from his hand flashing it for only a split second before vigorously slamming down with a Explosive Intensity to shockingly show the Uno Reverse Card* ....... No You........... Hehe XD

[@Psrj-ad]

i love these SCPs that are clearly their own being and not just some dumb killer thing. its refreshing to hear about these "monsters" also being somewhat intelligent beings.

[@TheHugSlug]

I had this anxious feeling in my chest the whole time… like, they’re humanizing the SCP, it’s either going to turn out to be lying to make us drop our guard, or it’s going to grow smart enough to learn to hate, or something bad is gonna happen… thank goodness that didn’t come to pass.

[@solar_co]

I honestly felt the same way. It seems like the perfect horror movie twist, but I'm glad they didn't go towards that trope

[@cyruskarloff7219]

I can tell that everyone here are long time readers. But, why does everyone fall for this?

[@CreaT.Shadesly]

This has to be one of, if not my favorite, SCP in the foundation. Its rare to see an entity like this one. And its story borders on inspiring.

[@Dinoracha]

I thought 'Yet another murder monster' and the image were going to be another violent story, but this one ended up being so sweet and delightful. Sure needed something this nice after 'You do not recognize the bodies in the water'.

[@fungalmage3336]

Even before the testing, this thing's containment procedures were as simple as keeping it in a sturdy cube, and occasionally checking the cube for damage. It also ceases to exist when being directly observed, which is standard for nearly all anomalous creatures in containment (especially the dangerous ones). Honestly, it shouldn't be Keter at all, due to the ease of containment (both pre and post-testing). It would probably make more sense for it to be Euclid, pending Safe upon completion of testing. Good skip though.

[@JakeN482]

The original Keter classificiation was possibly partly based on the assumption there might have been another out in the wild. This is a fair assumption considering most biological skips need to either reproduce or be manufactured somehow. If there were another one out in the wild, it'd be extremely hard to track down through standard passive observation methods. You'd have to go hunting knowing you're looking for something that ceases to exist when you're not looking at it, as that's a different threat than something that's simply invisible. A containment threat I would consider on par with the pre-testing version of this monster would be the SCP-3288, which is also rated at Keter. Technically feasible to keep contained easily, but the likely possibility of not having every instance of it contained means you've gotta reserve keter-threat resources to prepare for it cropping up.

[@FarremShamist]

@@JakeN482 It's not exactly great to make assumptions based off of nothing however; There should be attempts to search for others should they exist, but the current classification is supposed to be based on what is known.

[@StSubZero]

I do agree Euclid would be more appropriate. I feel it could have been mentioned that it may or may not have once been Euclid given it passes the "Locked box" test in that field if one thinks about it, but might have been reclassed as Keter due to the resource consumption, since unlike 096 (who has pretty much the same containment measures but minds it's own business most of the time) 5031 actively cuts away at it's containment prior to it's tests. Likewise, Huxtable might have been pulling some strings in the background probably to ensure a bit more free reign on his part. One of the things about Keter class entities is they have a bigger containment budget. Thus they can afford to not only bring it a piano and art supplies, but an entire kitchen with access to fresh ingredients every day.

[@brettshearer3721]

@@StSubZero that would definently be a wholesome addition

[@ProfessorDoctorC]

I interpret that as another sign of the paranoid, uncaring and often sloppy methods employed by the foundation in the past. It's a dangerous murder monster, hard to detect, there may be more out there. Worth a Keter designation. By modern standards it is a definite Euclid (living entities usually require too much maintanance and observation to be classified as "safe")

[@DumbCrow1]

“SCP-5031 has said its first words, ‘salt’. We are all immensely proud” There’s something so funny about that being said in such a Latinate document

[@Sky_Guy]

This is also, possibly intentionally, a good metaphor for how our prison system should ideally be like. Less confinement in metal cubes, more rehabilitation.

[@iamzid]

except for the ones who really are bad people, they deserve metal cubes.

[@Foxxie0kun]

@@iamzid The ones who are truly irredeemable should be compressed into a 1'x1'x1' metal cube. The rest can likely be rehabilitated given therapy, job training, an a goal to strive toward. 5031 was basically a child denied an upbringing, no knowledge of anything other than raw survival. Treated with cruelty, all it knew how to do was scream and cry out. Music started its path to a better future, and food was another step towards a calling. Now 5031 is a gourmet chef and a master pianist after getting a really good education and rehabilitation by SCP Foundation researcher Huxtable and the site staff and D-52125. Heck, maybe 5031 might even contribute to helping staff how it can if there's a containment breach involving some other anomaly at that containment site?

[@KingQwertzlbrmpf]

@@iamzid The question then of course becomes: How do we distinguish the "really bad people" from the ones that can be rehabilitated?

[@crunchylettuce5446]

@KingQwertzlbrmpf psychiatric testing and questioning, I'd say. There should be ways to rehabilitate everyone tho, eventually.

[@danielgudi7446]

​ @KingQwertzlbrmpf Psychopaths and sociopaths are not as hard to distinguish as media suggests.

[@rusticgiraffe4262]

This creature likes to play catch, cook, and play music. It is essentially harmless. Ambiance: Scary

[@natalie6811]

Good news, the actual article now directly links to this video

[@MichaelBNegron]

This is definitely one of my favorite SCPs. Not only is it a very well-written twist on a common trope, but it develops the lore of the Foundation and shows that it's not just some terrifying monolithic institution. I like how it demonstrates the internal disagreements in Foundation strategy while still centering the very wholesome SCP itself.

[@Malphazar]

By the gods this was wholesome, thank you so much to you for the reading and to the author for a fantastic SCP. I needed this.

[@Malphazar]

Oh my gods I just saw the toque after I typed the first comment and scrolled up. This brought a huge smile to my face.😁

[@jakebarnes3054]

@@Malphazar why would you say gods you probably don't believe in them

[@VirtuousLiam]

@@Malphazar saying "gods" makes you look insufferable.

[@moonbeam714]

please ignore everyone saying you shouldn't say "by the gods"

[@jakebarnes3054]

@@moonbeam714 ok m8

[@damiendean90]

This, is probably one of my favorite SCPs on the wiki. It, and I know this sounds super corny, but it fills me with so much joy and happiness hearing this creature that shouldn't exist learn to be happy and have a friend and all of that!

[@nathanrood865]

This was so wholesome it nearly gave me eye allergies 🥺 I too felt immensely proud hearing what he achieved for Thanksgiving!

[@ceyboard4296]

I came back to re-watch this video to because I always enjoyed this concept, but seeing SCP-5031 with the Chef's hat at the end is a genuine masterstroke that I didn't notice before. God-Tier video.

[@laurafrakinroslin]

This one was so sweet that halfway through I went to the comments to make sure nothing horrible would happen to this very good murder monster. The one thing it’s missing is updated containment procedures.

[@vexxama]

The best of monsters. Honestly, I’d love to try the meal it made, it sounded delicious

[@Joltout]

Aww man. This made me happy and feel warm and fuzzy inside. I really like these kinds of SCPs. Hope writers come up with more wholesome ones in the future!

[@actualturtle2421]

"We are all immensely proud." Hell I was proud too. This is one of my favorites.

[@UGNAvalon]

This never ceases to warm my heart. 😭 I’d LOVE for this skip to be adapted into film! The initial section could very easily resemble the 096 film, and the initial tests (eg music, playing with a chicken) could very easily portray 5031 as simply a very scared (& easily frustrated) caged animal. It’d also be great to see Dr Huxtable’s & D-52125’s reactions change from concern to relief to excitement as the tests went on (as opposed to simply inferring them from the text). 5031 playing on the piano could very easily resemble those cute videos of dogs howling while pressing piano keys. Then when it says “salt” in a hoarse, inhuman voice, the research team could erupt in a (muted) version of NASA reacting to a successful landing, with high-fives & hugs & barely-contained tears. I can’t even imagine what “piano concerto for six hands” would sound like, but whoever manages to create it would have my utmost respect.

[@dannykosak5002]

This was surprisingly wholesome. I guess the Protect also extends to the creatures held by the foundation as well. Also would love a plushie of SCP-5031.

[@mysticthemanakete]

Especially in a chef's hat

[@magicoil1572]

rotisserie chicken

[@mysticthemanakete]

@@magicoil1572 Now we have a playset lmao

[@The_lonely_stoner]

SCP-5031 assembled the words "MORE MORE MORE" with its letter blocks after running out of garlic powder. i feel that

[@noellesato311]

Keter-Class SCP bein a mood

[@riverroth3688]

I love this one, look, actual tests. And treating the subject of the foundation as living beings, and look at our boy! Becoming such a smart creature. It's nice to see something just a LITTLE different than what we get usually with the foundation being either indifferent or outright cruel to these beings.

[@tardigrade8019]

Plenty of SCP's have actual tests. They just often end with horrific results. That or the anomaly can't feasibly be tested or are too dangerous to risk testing.

[@geoffreyentwistle8176]

A prime example of my favorite kind of SCP entries: the ones that totally subvert your expectations in a creative way. The various horrors and monstrosities can have empathetic elements as much as any human or animal, and entries like this and C'thulu make interesting and memorable contrasts to most other entries.

[@davidevansolsen8770]

I'm just imaging 5031 in its cell in like a full chefs outfit talking like Gordon Ramsey to its favorite D class friend 🤣🤣

[@charleswetzel1250]

This is an interesting addition to the SCP universe... It's nice, like having a moment to just accept that not everything is progressively getting worse, and in fact some new discoveries lead to unexpected (and friendly) results. I've legitimately decided that this is my favorite SCP entry. I thought it impossible to unroot 'The Flesh That Hates' from my preference, but damn it if this adorable sentient guillotine of a creature hasn't done it.

[@SCP--fj2jr]

"Yet Another Murder Monster." *I like how the foundation is so used to seeing anomalous entities that they didn't even care about coming up with a proper nickname for it.* xD

[@kbennett2587]

Let's be honest, it was bright that name this SCP.

[@Fattts]

I love the headcanon that the foundation actually uses the document "titles" as informal names for the anomalies outside of official documentation

[@sebastiengendron6427]

@@Fattts with all the numbers the SCP's are given, it would be extremely confusing remembering all of them (and that's only level 1 clearance, can you imagine the migraines the higher ups get trying not to mistake the important ones to the lesser knowns). Naming the anomalies give them a sense of identity and easy to remember attributes that relate to said anomaly like shy guy, the sculpture, the indestructible lizard etc.

[@Fattts]

@@sebastiengendron6427 that's why it makes sense to use the nicknames in passing and only use the official designations in documentation

[@Fredfredbug4]

I never interpreted article titles as canon.

[@ebusive]

He was proud that his thanksgiving meal and music were so well received. Damn this entry was so unexpectedly wholesome

[@toaferon1822]

That ending put me on the verge of tears, this is such a wholesome, refreshing SCP!

[@Thegr8MC]

I always felt like this 5031 sort of represented the evolution of the site from the early days to now. Many of the early skips had rather primitive and often barbaric containment methods and the Foundation was often very callous and sometimes needlessly cruel. Not to mention things like the monthly D class terminations and doctors like Clef, Kondraki, Mann and Bright just laughing it up while they torture and sacrifice people for their own twisted amusement. But later on, as more and better writers joined the site and put more focus on quality, standards and making sense, we got many more better written articles where the containment procedures are more detailed and put the SCP's needs into consideration rather then just locking them in a dark room. The D class terminations are largely considered retconned out and the senior staff don't often run around mowing down crowds of innocent bystanders anymore. Not to say that the newer Foundation articles have no cruelty or coldness at all, but there's definitely a noticeable change between the pre 2000 SCP's and the current 3000+ ones.

[@Fredfredbug4]

I mean it flat out says that the old SCP articles from 10 years ago have bad containment measures.

[@isthatasupra4727]

Not that suprising when you remember that when the wiki released half of it was people uploading their super-ultra-mega powerful Mary Sue edgelord uncontainable OC named something like "Shadow Fart"

[@Idran]

@@isthatasupra4727 while at the same time "Shadow Fart" has a huge fanbase that gets really whiny nowadays when you say the new SCP in its number is better and "Shadow Fart" was kinda lame dude

[@peterjohnson11655]

@@Idran *cough* 682 *cough*

[@ultramagnus1859]

@@peterjohnson11655 I still think 682 justifies it's own existence thanks to that awesome story from Lord Blackwood

[@admiral_waffles533]

Imagine how many more scps could be "tamed" and rehabilitated like this one, not just to serve thr foundation, but also as long term containment. Imagine a researcher somehow therapizing a beast like 682, and rid it of its pure hatred for humanity. Or an MTF similar to Last Hope or Pandora's Box, but made up of psychologists and therapists to rehab scps instead of weaponizing them.

[@chickadeestevenson5440]

read Avalon

[@hermeschase4113]

Man, it's weird to be listening to an SCP entry while having a big sincere smile on my face, it's pretty rare lol

[@scpenthusiast7504]

On grounds for my new favorite SCP, this was the cutest yet most unsettling thing I've seen in a minute, I said "aww" aloud a couple of times watching this 😂 Hearing about how it went from always screaming, stressed and, from what I can assume, scared, to something that can speak, cook, play, gods! This SCP is amazing, kudos to the writer. Absolute genius!

[@mr.j36b82]

the image of this thing wearing a chef's hat is forever burnt into my brain

[@MrMementoMori]

From monster to the worlds best chef. I love this SCP. Edit: I bet 5031 would grab two pieces of bread and put them on Gordon Ramsay’s head ask him what he is and Gordon would say an idiot sandwich.

[@disconnected7737]

And 6-handed piano, beat that

[@VaciliNikoMavich]

Its fookin RAW, use salt!