An HFY Story : They are barely better than cavemen | 2374 ~Deathworld, War, Terran and Humans

[@artyd42]

I feel sorry for the Hegemony. They did the unthinkable. United the human race against a common foe.

[@bjwessels]

Truly the worst tactical decision any xenos can make is give us a reason to stop fighting ourselves.

[@GrigoriZhukov]

It's an error right up there with never engage in a land war in Asia or lesser known but more dangerous. Never play the other guys game.

[@silas6328]

I mean, it IS what we do. Think of the Greeks. The Japanese: they did nothing but kill each other for centuries but the moment a common enemy shows up they get buddy buddy real quick... then they went back to killing each other.

[@CT-1035]

@@GrigoriZhukovand the “don’t touch the Americans boats”

[@Have_some_plasma]

It's like trying to fuck with the east Europe. Sure, they're constantly bickering, even fighting right now (whoops, there's the air raid siren) but give them a good enough reason and they *will* turn a foe inside out and into dust. Eventually. Probably.

[@Aminuts2009]

"Don't tell me...:" "Yes Sir, I have to be honest. They did indeed touch the boats."

[@lechatrelou6393]

Read it in Japan's voice from HLC. DON'T. TOUCH. THE BOATS.

[@retr0bits545]

@@lechatrelou6393YES! HLC as the US, “DOD what we got on this?” And ALL OF the general contractors rub their palms in anticipation.

[@joedd215]

​@@lechatrelou6393 mandatory fun day

[@christopherg2347]

"So we killed those guys. But didn't they say something about a "Emprire"? I think we better start reverse engineering. Hard."

[@merlinathrawes746]

What's left to reverse engineer?

[@christopherg2347]

@@merlinathrawes746 Some scout ships might have survived mostly intact. We kinda need the tech to bring the fight to them.

[@RiversJ]

Nuclear weapons don't entirely destroy everything unless it's within it's vaporization distance, which is nowhere near a kilometer even for a current MIRV warhead. Some portions of the ship, especially undersides should be intact. A 10km ship is humongous. But nobodys going near the things for two weeks without a main battle tank for obvious reasons ha

[@urbypilot2136]

@@RiversJThis correct. Most of the damage a nuclear weapon does is from the shock wave generated by the detonation in atmosphere. Those 3 capital ships that landed were certainly wiped out. But the question now, how many MIRV warheads did each of the remaining capital ships in orbit take to their faces? That, as well as the strengh of alien materials would be a determining factor if there would be any left to reverse engineer. But those scout ships would certainly have to be captured.

[@roberine7241]

@@merlinathrawes746 do note that the ones in orbit were "only" hit by powerful radiation and heated so apart from scorch marks and being irradiated they are pretty intact (though anything inside is likely dead or dying). heat sensitive stuff is likely also fried.

[@blehbleh8552]

The moment I heard that all the troops retreated, I started chanting "nukes nukes nukes nukes" under my breath. XD

[@alanwilson5965]

I did too!

[@mewmewdesigns895]

FALL BACK HERE COMES THE SUN!!!

[@SuperRoboPopoto]

The 56-Hit Nuclear Missile Combo Barrage! There is no kill like overkill.

[@faithhellman402]

Same 😂

[@leechowning2712]

"Here comes the sun..."

[@theshadyprotector8412]

Yes we are rock throwing primates. And after ten thousand years we became quite good at it.

[@markstevenson5917]

We also use our God given right to poke things with sticks, sharpened or not lol

[@Br1ckInTh3W4LL]

we have some very spicy rocks

[@andrewstrongman305]

Aborigines were using spears and spear-throwers 40,000 years ago. Our hominid ancestors began using rocks as weapons well before 'modern' humans.

[@andrewstrongman305]

@@markstevenson5917 Lol, we are the most curious animals to ever evolve, no gods required.

[@AlfonsReed]

parry this few minutes of sun on demand ya filthy casual

[@mikegammill2455]

"Here comes the Sun, da da da dum, Here comes the Sun." Also, Sometimes, Danger Close is measured in Miles.

[@5-Coin_Konstellation]

Eins, HIER KOMMT DIE SONNE Zwei, HIER KOMMT DIE SONNE sie ist der hellste Stern von allen, HIER KOMMT DIE SONNE

[@GaryPaschkeSrGaryFPaschkeSr54]

So the general thought we humans would consider them to be gods. I like Hulk's statement after trashing Loki: "Puny gods"!

[@Wastelandman7000]

Humans: If we can nuke it, its not a god. Just a target.

[@roberine7241]

@@Wastelandman7000 "if it bleeds we can kill it"

[@leechowning2712]

Umm... they missed the brief on humans and their gods. As in, every time a person shows up saying they are god, the other humans kill them.

[@VTX00128]

From Star Trek DS9 Worf we killed our gods there were more trouble than they were worth.

[@vrcommandoata5403]

​@@roberine7241Now why would we limit ourselves to only killing things that bleed? Be more diverse about your targets.

[@brookerickettson4950]

Humans response was “Proportional”.

[@jackreisewitz6632]

Exactly!! Proportional to their intent !!!

[@NPCNo-xm2li]

It's amazing how we went from throwing rocks, to throwing sharp sticks, to guns yeeting small rocks again to yetting a literal instant sun at a target

[@TheGoodDictator]

"Where have the humans go?" The Humans: "Here comes the sun du dam du dam"

[@TheRealInscrutable]

Kudos for the microsecond by microsecond description of the detonation process.

[@Wastelandman7000]

And I've got to say for such an "advanced" race that commander was slow on the uptake. If the rest of their command is as dense our conquest of their empire will be a cakewalk.

[@catprog]

He was part of the squad they send to take down "primitives". The actual army is used to fighting higher classes.

[@arandomsystemglitch2398]

Yeah just the fact they classed us as 4 instead of 3 right off the bat is enough mostly cause they only did looks and if they know about radation doesnt seem like they looked into radation scanner

[@skirk248]

It won't even be fun let alone fair

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

10:47 _"One of the humans, J'Tuc thought he said he was _*_American,_*_ had told him to go do something physically impossible to himself."_ As an American, that tracks, and I totally approve that message. Yee'haw, and all that. 🤠

[@theengagedfew]

And 10 years later, after a united humanity reverse engineered the technology they recovered from the wreckage of the fleet, the war was over. All Class 1 peoples were taken to Earth, and made to work in reconstruction

[@Netherdan]

And then we went about uplifting dogs to sapience, because reasons

[@syncringe1885]

@@Netherdan Ironically we are already doing so in some places. Take the dogs with buttons that say words. We are already doing so.

[@Elmithian]

​@@syncringe1885 It only starts to be a proper uplift if we keep breeding them to be smarter or smarter. Otherwise it only helps us communicate.

[@syncringe1885]

@@Elmithian Not really. Communication is how we determine half the damn time.

[@nigelnightmare4160]

@@syncringe1885 Don't forget the Gorilla that used Sign language.

[@robertfraser7943]

I have a saying,"never assume that you have everything about your opponent, they may have a secret move or special ability that they never showed anyone, or worse that no one ever lived to report on."

[@EeBee51]

Once we were told the human troops were pulling back, I was wondering how long it would be before the nukes hit... 😁 Props to Runner_one (the author), and to the Squirrel for his usual top class narration 🧡

[@PocoToro]

I can just hear the collected leaders of man kind using the thee words "Well, F@ck It"

[@willgallatin2802]

Monkey found some spicy rocks. LOL

[@brucebrazaitis321]

As a wise Alien once said, " Yes your ships are impressive in space but right now they are on the ground."

[@richardstraun]

Actually..., now that you mention it.

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

The Balkins are United! There is peace in the Middle East! The Australians are sober! Run!

[@thobol10]

And even worst for the aliens for ones the American's are in agreement over politics

[@quinnhasse9170]

@@thobol10as an american, yes

[@rosebloodwater13]

​@@thobol10 worse for them, all the politicians would agree on increasing the defense budget 😂

[@nairbvel]

Having friends from Down Under, I'm not sure #3 actually matters if they get mad enough... LOL

[@Dedjester-to9uk]

And the Canadians stopped saying sorry!

[@quinnhasse9170]

I remember a quote about family: outsiders DON'T get involved, it never ends well for the intruder.

[@doctorbright1065]

Just hope there wasn't any debris left behind, or else those same nuclear weapons will be getting a swift delivery to your lovely homeworld thanks to the lovely art of *Reverse Engineering!*

[@leechowning2712]

multi kilometer command ships... over half of his ship would survive... the meat onboard less so, since any radiation shielding failed the moment it fired. Without atmosphere to interact, there would not even be a serious em damage.

[@maelglorious]

Quite impressive the author did enough research to know about FogBank and lithium-deuteride. Didn't get everything right, but way the hell better then some hot messes like tactical thermonuclear gnomes.

[@mrmors1344]

pretty sure a lot of people know about fogbank thanks to funny stories of its "re-discovery" on youtube. "we refined the process and removed the impurities with modern knowledge and tech. wait, what do you mean it doesn't work anymore?"

[@maelglorious]

@@mrmors1344 it technically worked, however they lost an unexpected catalyst dropping the first step so the mole weight was off.

[@hanneskarlbom6644]

Well, you see good sir, humans have specifically evolved to throw pebbles at charging beasts.

[@justoneman1681]

Do you want nuclear hellfire!?! Because that's how you get nuclear hellfire!!

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

How did they not know about humans and nukes. ffs all the multiverse know about humans and nukes lmfao.

[@jasonmonday3556]

The aliens have to stupid and incompetent for most of these "Rah-rah, humanity!" stories to work, so they are. They typically ignore extremely basic things like learning anything at all about Earth before they attack, and rely completely on tactics that predate the Napoleonic Age. Gotta suspend disbelief to enjoy most amateur sci-fi.

[@caramelcandys]

Yea kind of a big oversight especially considering we have a vast oversupply of them pointed at eachother, the last thing you’d want is to give us something else to point our fireworks at

[@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233]

Said so in the story ... last time they checked Alexander was naming cities all over the middle-east

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

@@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233 we had nukes before alexander lol . Just forgot our past after the previous nuke war.

[@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233]

@@lupaswolfshead9971 Right, I forgot about Sodom and Gomorrha

[@PoldaranOfDalaran]

And this is why we don't disarm our nukes. Just in case.

[@arandomsystemglitch2398]

Well the techically are disarmed its just like all the parts to make it armed are well stored

[@lumberluc]

Disarm as in "Pulling the Core" or "Pulling the Fuel"?

[@NXTangl]

"As effective as throwing a pebble at a charging beast?" 30-06 is considered sufficient firepower to hunt a boar, which is known for charging. A .30-06 bullet is small enough (

[@sjmcc13]

Their entire classification system was idiotic. But yes, how much the planet can sustain should have been an important factor in their math, but they were their own planets numbers only.

[@NXTangl]

@@sjmcc13 Yeah. Also, what kind of insane species reacts favorably to the proposition "kill over 99% of your population in exchange for tech?" Furthermore, such a shock to the system could easily lead to complete extinction due to collapse of every economy and infrastructural system ever, loss of any potential unique technology due to the bottleneck eliminating experts, collapse of adapted ecosystems and fallowing of farmland... And it's definitely a no-go in any democratic nation-state, because very few people would vote for a death lottery with less than 50% odds.

[@lumberluc]

Overpopulated is a myth. We're just badly managed.

[@jmurray1110]

I think a more accurate example would be a sling one of humanities oldest weapons that kills insanely easily with a piece of rope, sone cloth and a pebble

[@jackreisewitz6632]

Exactly what I was thinking. If humans have figured out how to feed a population that the Empire couldn't believe was sustainable, maybe they're not as stupid as you assume they are. Maybe they've figured out some other stuff, too.

[@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233]

"They are to warlike and constantly fighting each other. Let's attack them .. .. " "Brilliant Plan Sir"

[@jakeand9020]

"As effective as throwing pebbles at a charging beast." Funny thing about that, with enough velocity a pebble is extremely effective against a charging beast.

[@vladyvhv9579]

Ol' boy didn't know about that kid called David...

[@BalthusDirein]

For da Skwerl and da mighty nest

[@boywonderrr71]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ZM1306]

Cool, now we finally got rid of the old stock.... be can build the new ones!

[@lumberluc]

About time that happened. We have over 20 other designs that have been waiting for approval of construction for decades.

[@quinnhasse9170]

8:08 he has no idea how well we throw rocks

[@Wastelandman7000]

And didn't even bother to do a proper evaluation of our military capabilities. Because we don't just have nukes. We have THOUSANDS of nukes. This is what we call hitting a death hornet's nest with a stick.

[@roberine7241]

*spicy rocks

[@draconicisha]

We literally hunted by throwing rocks at charging beasts for generations, some got good enough to crack the sound barrier with their rocks from slings :D

[@vladyvhv9579]

Absolute case of Did Not Do The Research on the part of those aliens. The moment throwing rocks was mentioned, the story of David and Goliath came to mind...

[@midgefidget5796]

Did he just describe the fission explosion triggering a fusion explosion which then triggered an undefined more massive explosion?

[@Snipergoat1]

That was the salted fusion device where a second fusion explosion is created in the byproducts of the previous detonations (and a few added ingredients). It was semi accidentally discovered by the US in the infamous Castle Bravo incident where it worked far better than expected. The minor boost had instead tripled the bomb's yield from a predicted and prepared for 5 MT to a totally unprepared for 15 MT. This is also the type of bomb that make up the Tsar Bomba, the most powerful nuke ever built at 50 Mega tons. With any nuclear device the main limit on it's destructive power is not the amount of reactive material carried but by how long it can react before it rips itself apart. With the energies involved there is no physical packaging that can slow that down in the slightest. The lithium salts were supposed to vaporize in such a way as to keep the detonation together for maybe another nanosecond or so. Instead this lithium plasma joined the fusion party. Thereby failing in the most awesome way possible

[@midgefidget5796]

@@Snipergoat1 Wow. Succinct and informative. Thanks for the physics lesson.

[@lumberluc]

A minor explosion, followed by an implosion, and then a violent explosion. Yeah, we accidentally found that technique and worked with it

[@immaturedemolitions8220]

​@lumberluc i wonder if thats how my soul became so....well, ya know....

[@luzifershadres]

Hegemony: Hmm, sems like we didnt got an update the past 10 years. But what could had happen in such a minor extermination, but we should still check after the original planned time for collanisation passed. 70 years later: I didnt remember that we sended 15 capital ships. Also, what is this wave of incomming plutonium and other nuclear metalls... Also, did we ordered them to construct 2 twin hyperspace railguns?

[@Wastelandman7000]

On the side of the rail slugs was written, "Take this"

[@roberine7241]

@@Wastelandman7000 don't forget ÙwÚ written on another one

[@lumberluc]

"From Earth, with Love." ⬆️⬆️➡️

[@zeromii3234]

@@lumberluc For Managed Democracy!

[@immaturedemolitions8220]

​@@Wastelandman7000 take this take this take this....take that, take that, take this *TAKE THAT, TAKE THIS*

[@UnitedArmsOrganization]

I really like the name of this story. I’m an old F-ing Biker who likes to study particle physics, I really enjoy the physics in the stories you regale us with daily. Thank You for what you do.💯% 😎

[@Snipergoat1]

I love it when Sci fi writers get the physics right (or a close approximation to it). It's like OK, you have your warp engines and artificial gravity and what ever other bits of physics defying space magic going on. However outside of the space magic the rest of physics should still work the same as we have observed for thousands of years. Outside of the space magic, plain old Newton and Einstein still run the show. Or in this case a remarkably accurate description of a "salted" nuclear device (at least as for as I understand them). This was enjoyable enoght to not even nitpick about how much speed a vehicle would have when launched at something in orbit. As orbits can easily be beyond the range of any ICBM. A geosynchronous obit is more than twice the diameter of the Earth away. That would be way to far for a ballistic missile. One limit on the design of a ballistic missile is that they must never reach escape velocity. Should they do do they end their career as a ballistic missile and begin a new one as a very unfriendly space exploration vehicle. (This effectively limits the top speed of a reentry vehicle to a "mere" mach 25 or so. ) There is enough wiggle room with the orbits and how much they could tweak a rocket that the description of the warheads approaching orbital ships and extreme speeds can pass for real using existing missiles and what could be done in maybe a weeks time or so.

[@GrrDraxin1]

@@Snipergoat1 All fine and dandy for ICBMs bound for "earth based targets". Not so much for targets of higher orbital altitudes. The government is only telling us they "only" have ICBMs of that type of launch vehicle, but anyone with a proper mistrust of government would be better off knowing that they likely do posses launch capabilities that could hit the moon in hours or minutes. The government just isn't so inclined to tell the public they "do" have that capability. Heck, just putting a few of those MERV warheads into those "experimental" railguns to fire off into space may be feasible this day and age with advanced metallurgy and refined detonation hardware of the nukes to survive the launch. What the government keeps secret is almost always far more advanced than what they tell the public, or what the current sevicemen work with. They say "by 20 years" but I say that number of years can vary depending on the field of science and tech being looked at.

[@roberine7241]

@@GrrDraxin1 well their ships were visible from earth so likely more low earth orbit. you could probably redesign a normal rocket to carry a few of these warheads

[@roberine7241]

@@Snipergoat1 necessity is the mother of invention after all (or something like that) so I could imagine some engineers drinking enough coffee to kill a small elephant and designing something to deliver spicy rocks to ships in orbit. the description of the warhead was nice. makes for an epic scene compared to "nuke go boom ship gone" also you seem to be interested in hard sci fi. do you enjoy videogames?

[@TheDurid1]

Remember much of an ICBM is just the delivery system. Actual modern nukes are about the size of a football I think. And so can be installed on other kinds of missiles as needed.

[@johnpisciotto7115]

They landed on the east coast of the USA? Poor aliens, they set the Americans off.

[@legionx4046]

The poor bastards

[@x1tekja]

Like fighting the final boss at the beginning with nothing but your wimpy sword.

[@pandablair4226]

Unpopular fact: earth isn’t over populated

[@arandomsystemglitch2398]

It's in the middle since its just the places we live that are everywhere else has room but no one cares for some reason

[@beingsneaky]

Indeed, it is not. I think just the US alone could feed the world, but they won't.. with proper management, we could go into the trillions.

[@iaaf_nw2367]

Our problems arent overpopulation, our problems are our mismanagement of resources.

[@SLEPhoto]

@@beingsneaky water resources are a larger problem.

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

​@@SLEPhotothe ISS manages so again it's willingmess

[@Cohen.the.Worrier]

There's going to be a rather messy blame storming session in the council I'm afraid.

[@Jax_Destro]

Tsk tsk tsk. This is how you get us to stop fighting ourselves and fighting them. Additionally, the aliens never signed the Geneva Conventions, the moment they started genociding us, that turns to a checklist.

[@stephenleslie6961]

Need a sequel for this.

[@Aldusrahl]

Hard sci-fi settings: “GOD I LOVE NUKES” 😈

[@JL-vo1bc]

Chewing the scenery while narrating is impressive.

[@chickenmanv7]

“Here’s come the sun doo doo doo doo”

[@vladyvhv9579]

No idea what that comes from. Probably better to go with the Futurama joke about "walking on sunshine"...

[@rodrigorubio8918]

And now we return the favor

[@AlexandreMS71]

Time to start scavenging the orbit for new tech.

[@RagingD3mon]

4:07 it was at this moment i knew somebody is going get turned into glass

[@TransbianOwl]

Humans first thought after cracking the atom: "Big Boom." Humans second thought after cracking the atom: "so... how can we make it bigger."

[@vladyvhv9579]

Real world story: A farmer asked the government if he could have some nuclear explosive for clearing tree stumps.

[@TransbianOwl]

Those must have been some stubborn tree stumps lol

[@jackreisewitz6632]

Exactly !!! No explosion is ever so big, that it can't be enhanced. 😅😊

[@TransbianOwl]

bigger booms are always better afterall

[@Tejyasn]

And now Humans begin the salvage op...

[@spencersholden]

EMPs are a very effective weapon against electronics.

[@vladyvhv9579]

"Ensign! I told you to stop playing that ominous music track!" "S-sir... I-it's n-n-not me..."

[@bradrose90]

Nice story. You aren't going to evaporate 10 km objects. Lots of debris left over.

[@leechowning2712]

Multiple independent re entry vehicles... What remained of the vessels were scrapped all over the ground. For an Empire that hadn't used nukes for millennia, they had absolutely no one to warn them.

[@bigjay875]

Excellent story, thank you much narrator 😊

[@jmurray1110]

Throwing pebbles at a charging beast An apt metaphor I must say

[@InterstellarRoadtripper2689]

It's fascinating how it portrays humans with seemingly primitive technology surprising more advanced alien civilizations. Makes you think about how innovation and adaptability might be our greatest strengths. What are your thoughts on the idea that underestimating 'primitive' cultures could be a huge mistake for advanced beings?"

[@julians9899]

As affective of throwing pebbles at a charging beast. Hehe little do they know that’s how we operated until we got we got POINTY! pebbles! mWAHAHAH!

[@justinswinehart5361]

I love this story and this comment section!

[@merlinathrawes746]

The problem now being that there are no ships or equipment left to reverse engineer. Mankind best get its collective ass in gear and start developing some other defenses before the Hegemony comes back and decides on high orbital bombardment, virus vectors or some other nastiness. Because eventually a scout ship is going to come along to check on why the fleet has been out of contact for so long.

[@Wastelandman7000]

I suggest it not be allowed to contact its home base....or continue existing.

[@butspan7618]

there were several scout ships that were still on earth, so they could have tried to take over one of them after the nukes and maybe even before. another thing is that they blew up the front of the formation hoping to incarcerate the capital ship at the front and have a spread of less damaged ships farther from the explosion.

[@lumberluc]

... we took pictures. Plus, there are a slew of Black Box projects that now have a reason to be shown

[@arandomsystemglitch2398]

Well considering war was declared and its now known theres others out there yeah i give it 5 years at most

[@beingsneaky]

Also is mentioned in a different story, humans will sacrifice themselves in order to get tech to reverse engineer. ie go into irradiated leftover ships parts to find usable tech.

[@leightondoswell453]

So good brilliant story nd most excellent narration

[@Twokeeshonds]

Fantastic story. Thanks for taking us along.

[@charleswidmore5458]

LOST!? What Do You Mean LOST!? Kek!

[@rowdysgirlalways]

Excellent story!

[@osbornebernard7706]

I like to see part 2 of this story

[@genericuser984]

cool

[@cedkira]

"Here comes the sun, do do do da"

[@brianlips8346]

Love all you stories ❤ glad your doing well.

[@eyllyssaunders5345]

I haven't finished this one yet but I just heard some alien say humans were now considered property I fell like this won't end well for these aliens

[@deussalt4479]

For the Agro-rythm!

[@alexanderhurst9830]

The King has Returned!!!

[@Wastelandman7000]

LONG LIVE THE KING!

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@Slippery_Jim_Digriz]

For the Algorithm!👍👍👌

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story; Excellent narration! I hope the author writes a sequel!

[@PryvatCyan87]

I love anytime your posts hit my phone notifications. I know im gonna enjoy a new story!

[@pauldockins9635]

For the algorithm and the squirrel😊

[@robertschumacher2707]

Ales: Submit to depopulation under your new masters! Humanity: 'HeRe CoMeS ThE SuN.

[@garysprandel1817]

Xeno: so if you'll go along with our extermination program to reduce your surplus population we can get our colonization started..... Humanity: nuclear holocaust machine goes brrrrrrrrr

[@yomogami4561]

thanks for the story and narration

[@laithao2092]

Thanos tried and succeeded once. We just turned back time, and stopped him.

[@jplabrecque6708]

Great job.

[@techristopher8077]

Very Nicely done

[@DOOMRIDER.]

Great story by a great author and absolutely phenomenal narration as always keep up the Stellar work good sir.

[@daleeasternbrat816]

Good one!

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Khlourians: Hah! Simple primitives will never-- Humans: BOOM.

[@Author__]

Aliens need to learn one simple thing: Humans are ALWAYS seen as a military species. We earned that title through chaos between ourselves! TvT

[@td6647]

You sir, have a great talent for narration and I thank you for the quality entertainment! Your talent is more than a step above the AI'S stumbling through the English language, repetitive gibberish and inexhaustible amounts of ways to raise humans to God like status becoming laughable and boring. Again, thank you and please keep bringing your quality entertainment to all!😊

[@denisemcdougal6445]

Good story

[@hanneskarlbom6644]

News reporter: -today marks the 2nd day of the conflict and the total victory of the newly established EDF under the UN. In other news a man caught a cat falling from a five storey building.

[@waltergolston6187]

good story!

[@mikecoatsworth6048]

For the nest

[@skirk248]

I believe they Yee'd their last Haw

[@oldbutnotdead1]

ALGORITHM!!!!!

[@thisgoddamusernamestoodamnlong]

"Squirrel is an island in the vast sea of AI slop channels, and it was not meant for us to travel far"

[@michaelpeterson8983]

The great one has returned. Al hail the squirrel.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Another great reading. TY Agro Squirrel.

[@obsidian_oki]

Here comes the sun do do do do doooooo

[@whgordon6109]

That was a good one! Many Thanks for the read Agro... Many Thanks

[@einyv]

I hope there is a future part 2

[@anondabomb]

Just so ya know, the Earth isn't overpopulated. As more people are born more resources are made, resources and people aren't a zero sum game. This idea came from Thomas Malthus and was disproved during an experiment by Thomas Malthus.

[@LanceMan]

This game is in the Atari Vault Part 2 on the VCS and also on the DLC for the Vault on Steam. It doesn't have the controller setting issue on either version.

[@ShadeThe777]

Egghead : Boyz, we finally have the opportunity to test the "Booty Warrior" Intern : Sir...why is it called like that ? E : Don't you want to find out ? I : Are you sure its will work ? E : THEY 'bout to find out. *crush the launch button*