They didn't let me into Auckland, New Zealand!

#funny #newzealand #auckland
Merch 👉👉 linktr.ee/jimm...

[@swimwithjellyfishandvogons]

As an Aucklander I find this video to be completely spot on. The accuracy is impeccable (and I say that with sincerity).

[@AlasdairMcLellan]

Umpiccable!

[@TrOLLKiLLeRs1]

Only a frigging Aucklander could spell impecca... impeach....impecale...spot on like that

[@JustYourGuy1]

So your enjoying your incoming floods? 😂😂😂

[@erwerwewerwer4575]

"The biggest surge of Aussie migrants that have made Auckland their home recently are called?" "501's"

[@jamilaali7288]

​@@Islandwaterjet aussie kiwis that get deported when they go to jail

[@nz_puddlehound1617]

The traffic cones is so accurate! I swear they breed.

[@juliaforsyth8332]

Down south the keas shift them!

[@TrOLLKiLLeRs1]

I'm pretty sure they are our number one import now.

[@honeyholly001]

Someone from the pony club asked a community page where they could source road cones for jumps. The response was as you'd expect. (Just about every road has them here).

[@mandaout2427]

They bloom fully in March around the country

[@bamboo_craft]

It's because the contractors charge $5 per day per cone! More cones more $$$!

[@Shiravan]

This is so spot on, I lived in Sydney for years and when people told me they were visiting Auckland my response was always "you could just stay here and get stuck in traffic and have the same experience for free".

[@Quonzan]

Except in Auckland you don’t have to pay tolls to be stuck in traffic

[@Shiravan]

@@Quonzan I think you'll find they do indeed still do that lol. Auckland is just sydney but smaller and somehow worse

[@libbysukiyaki]

It’s like Sydney but just less fun.

[@nikiTricoteuse]

Spot on Jimmy. As someone from Christchurch (no, really!) l was crying laughing by the time l was halfway through this. I didn't even mind you taking the puss about our accent.

[@ThandrieDavis]

The puss, LOL

[@jdeelp]

Not one sheep joke..... Baaaaaaaaa hahahahaha 😂

[@Analisaa.mariee]

Ahahaha too accurate 😂 No need to speed through the orange though, red will do just fine 🚦

[@fionadavey6859]

The currency used is …Alternative Milks 😂😂😂😂😂 Watched this while i was eating fush & chups 😂 Thet was funny as Aye ! 😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻

[@honeyholly001]

Went to a farmers market in west Auckland. Ordered a flat white. They only sold alternative milks. Imagine a farmers market without cows milk.

[@fionadavey6859]

@@honeyholly001 🥴

[@up.northbro]

Im from "anywhere but auckland" and this is fkn brilliant mate 🤣🤣🤣

[@mitchellking4988]

Brilliant. Nailed it. Makes me wondering if youve been living in auckland this whole time.

[@stephendickson9000]

Bloody west islanders 😂

[@thegingerbreadman2898]

I love your funny skits! I live in NZ so this is really funny! Please do Wellington

[@triarb5790]

He can't, you don't exist, you're not Auckland. 😉

[@thegingerbreadman2898]

@@triarb5790 Idk what that means but ok ¯\_( ˊᵕˋ )_/¯

[@nikiTricoteuse]

@@thegingerbreadman2898 It's a reference to the video. Tourist guy answered that when asked what Aucklanders thought about the rest of NZ. 😁

[@davidbrennan721]

Windy shit hole with GOVT kind of like Canberra

[@martinwilkinson9590]

why? nothing exists past suckland

[@TascastFishing]

Too bloody good! Chur bro.

[@ceruleanwildfire]

Hell this is so accurate it's scary. As a Saffer, and a Jafa, please do South Africa. Although you may need more than one skit due to the amount of possible material.

[@rnrmfguitarworks]

JAFA born and bred - not a bad summation Jimmy 😆

[@kerriemccoy1647]

Keep them coming Jimmy, you are a bloody legend.

[@alandun27]

Sorry, but gin is the affectionate name for a girl called Jennifer - the corrict inswer was jun! 🤔

[@triarb5790]

I can verify this. My Kiwi sister in law is Gin. She likes drinking jun, ay.

[@Interislander957]

As a Wellingtonian this is hillarious.

[@bingonamo7520]

It's so true. As an Aucklander, when I travel outside of Auckland, it's better to pretend you're from a quaint little town, such as horsey, leafy Cambridge. You'll get treated much better. Such was the hostility in the 80's and 90's, it was actually necessary to do this - it really was! I used to travel around the Waikato and North Island on road trips with my mother and if you lied and said you were from Cambridge and not Auckland, the attitude change was amazing!

[@heathertruskinger6214]

Oh...those poor Kiwis !😂😂😂

[@hgy.ytr.stephz6189]

😂😂😂 funny! I hate those traffic cones. I swear they breed.

[@steelfabric]

Am sitting here stroking my long beard as I eagerly await the Dingo Piss Creek version.

[@jondnz]

It's not everyday that I admit an Australian knows a lot about New Zealand...........today is also not one of those days

[@rogerwilco4736]

True, it's far worse than they claim here!

[@skilla69]

True, he made it seem far better than it actually is

[@kimberleygarcia5293]

Omg this made my day 🤣🤣🤣 I love your Aussie ones (even if a lot of the jokes go over my head, as a kiwi 🤔) But this one totally hit the spot as a born and bread Aucklander 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sigghhhhh..... We suck 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@AngieSainty]

ssssshhh .... lols

[@swimwithjellyfishandvogons]

As another born and bred Auckland I concur. We do suck 😄😄😄😄

[@TrOLLKiLLeRs1]

As a Wellingtonian, you don't know how to spell bred.

[@AngieSainty]

!Everyyone sucks. lols

[@AngieSainty]

@@TrOLLKiLLeRs1 lols ... maybe she shlda spelt 'inbred' .... just jokes and banter. lol

[@glennt7214]

Love your videos!! Can you do one on Newcastle NSW for us please?

[@siobhanhunt1749]

Yay, I was hoping you would do a New Zealand -sorry, New Zillund- one of these!

[@TheKrispyfort]

Dad moved to NZ , and said if he wanted to live in Auckland he would've stayed in Sydney

[@duglascampbell7967]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Jimmy you're amazun

[@RatelHBadger]

As someone from the place South of the Bombay Hills... HEY!!! There's other people round here you know. This is bloody accurate!

[@SandraSallerBaziFengShui]

Absolutely correct ... hahahaha ... Kiwi NOT living in Auckland here ... 🤣

[@cherylb309]

Love the ending 😂

[@gregmoore2386]

As a Jaffa this is spot on

[@comealongcomealong4480]

@Greg Moore Took me a minute to pick up the lingo. I'm thinking - are these blokes chocolate on the inside, and sunburned red on the outside? Like a jaffa. Just Another F***ing Aucklander. That sounds rooly mean from over here!

[@SpecialSalads]

@@comealongcomealong4480 The whole of NZ calls Aucklanders JAFAs, but we're actually just jealous of them because it's the only part of NZ that has jobs. Sadly, the cost of rent in Auckland exceeds the pay rate of those jobs though, and they get stuck in traffic for 3 hours per day just to get to work. So, we make fun of them about that.

[@comealongcomealong4480]

@@SpecialSalads 😄 Thanks for the intel. Maybe sad in a way that the country has become more partitioned with population growth.

[@TheButlerNZ]

I live in some other place (Wellington).. It's easier to count the gaps between road cones than it is to count the road cones. There is no Duct tape available in Wellington, its all be snapped up by the council to fix the water mains. To reduce traffic in Wellington they have replaced every 2nd vehicle with a diesel electric double decker bus. As Wellington is mainly tight hill roads, 12m long single deck busses were chosen. The buses take 5hrs to recharge so recharge stations have been conveniently placed in narrow streets in the suburbs that have no alternate path. Diesel electric busses conveniently sit idling usually at 5am but only in residential zones to prevent noise pollution in the business district. All of wellington is paved with cobblestone (wait that's just the patches). All of wellingtons smooth tarseal has been replaced with chipseal as it is cheap and reduces tread on vehicles while making it harder to use for cyclists, As the chipseal is damaged easier by vehicles it needs replacement 3 times more often than standard tarseal but as it is only 2/3rds the cost to install so using Council math, this is cheaper. Of course repairs will be made with standard tarseal (refer to cobblestone) To help with the fuel crisis New Zealand has several alternatives including LPG so all LPG stations in Wellington City have been removed. Extra Starbucks have been installed in Wellington so you can get a Coffee next door to any shop you visit. The damaged 100yo sewage system has been repaired by conveniently connecting the damaged lines to the storm water system. The 100 year old storm water system has been conveniently repaired by connecting the damaged sections to the main water supply. Any work in infrastructure in Wellington city will be commissioned conveniently to businesses in nearby cities rather than disrupting local businesses with work. (unless it's the sewage system where companies at least 100k away have been found to be more suitable than available local companies). As wellington is well known for its rain and wind, road priority has been conveniently aimed at cyclists especially in small shopping centres where the parking for shops is being removed in favour of passing cyclists because it has been found cyclists do the most shopping in small business areas.

[@johnboikov1360]

But he didn't ask hum for hus passport! Or do Aussies just consider NZ another state?

[@JamesDavy2009]

No, we consider NZ as a target for condescension.

[@nakedarse2507]

Get it right - nth island , sth island , west island....

[@charlesthebald3671]

The Australian Constitution has provisions that would allow New Zealand to join as a state whenever it wants. New Zealanders would find this hilarious if they knew about it.

[@gorillaau]

​@@charlesthebald3671 Do we have to accept those from Auckland as well? Or can we we create an economic exclusion zone around it.

[@gorillaau]

​@@nakedarse2507 no, no, no. North island, South Island and Mainland

[@PetrPechar1975]

Moved to Auckland two years ago and frankly, I'm beginning to miss Dunedin. :D

[@jenesisjones6706]

Your videos are the highlight of my day- for the laughs they give!🤣

[@KatieA84]

Omg Jimmy had to throw the sheep joke dead set you are a legend

[@cee2615]

The joke about the guide at the end was a tad ouch BUT absolutely hysterical, loved the whole vide, you are brilliant ….😅

[@bazza945]

They should have invested Kiwi Saver in the road cones manufacturing company. It will never go broke.

[@bikeguy3034]

The scary part is the council hires them from a private company! Someone is clipping the ticket HARD 💵💵💵

[@haydengoodall6767]

Here's some salt.. Pour it over my thousand cuts. Ouch. Still. At least we don't call our sheep... Echidnas!. 😆 Strayans are Echidna jockeys.

[@LoneWolf-sh1ph]

Great Kiwi accent 🥝🇳🇿

[@BobJones20001]

As a New Zealander we accept that Auckland is sometimes mistaken for a part of New Zealand. Looking forward to the "economic hub" being cast adrift, along with the majority of the countries debt, crime, drug problems, homeless, and politicians

[@akirahojo2]

The amount of cones is a scam according to a friend in the construction business. They get $$ per cone from Auckland Transport. So they would use more cones than necessary for road works.

[@gordocooper5324]

Absolutely brilliant!!😂😂😂

[@lorainec8613]

Perfect! Simply perfect!

[@orouba14]

Just made my day here in sydney on this hot and stinky day. 🤣🤣❤️

[@sophieadam9702]

True story I went to Auckland from Brisbane with no idea. I thought I was going to the South Island. True with receipts.😮

[@theyyluveva]

The accent 😂 is everything

[@Alan_Hans__]

Don't make eye contact while you are looking down a bit.

[@Adelaide2286]

That's sheepish

[@97Mizzo]

my partner is an aucklander and he and I play this all the time pissing ourselves

[@twinklefarm]

So funny! Do Queenstown please!!

[@honeyholly001]

Tourists. There, done.

[@kenjiurban]

Bring on Wellington and Christchurch

[@bjw4859]

You missed 2 main points, dole blugers as exports & J R R Tolkein fans as the major import, there may be some tourism in there as well..

[@king_glitchy2623]

I’m from nz bro I love this video just made my day thank you bro

[@purebloodanglochristian8207]

Never been to Downunder nor Kiwiland. Are Kiwis just displaced Welshmen?

[@triarb5790]

We can tell. Noone and I mean NOONE calls NZ 'Kiwiland'. And only northern hemispherans think that a sphere has an 'up over' or 'down under'.

[@romainsavioz5466]

​@@triarb5790 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@JamesDavy2009]

@@triarb5790 No, we call it Middle Earth.

[@racketman2u]

Mainly displaced poms, which is why we can't get rid of the monarchy or that stupid bloody flag; an English band even wrote a song titled "dream home in New Zealand"

[@TheKrispyfort]

Did Jimmy just quote Jeff Bridges' character from 'Starman'?

[@TheKrispyfort]

Red light stop, Green light go, Yellow light go very fast

[@panther__doge9875]

"What does a lawyer's Degree qualify you for in Auckland?" "A job at The Warehouse"

[@JdeeGeekyGao]

I lived in Sydney I preferred living there to even stopping through Auckland on a flight on the way home.

[@TheKL105]

Yep when I come home for a holiday to Auckland from Aus with my Aus wife and son jump into a rental car drive to visit family in North Auckland all of a sudden we are in a traffic jam or zip merger I turn to my wife and say ..where are we ...? are we still in Sydney !!.. yep times they are a changing.. especially when you've been away for a long time ! ..love going home otherwise still the same 🙂👍

[@bikeguy3034]

Rookie 😂. Golden rule mate, if you live in AKL there is one place you never want to drive too.... anywhere else in AKL 🫡

[@TheKL105]

@@bikeguy3034 Unfortunately no choice family had moved there 👍

[@samanthafairweather9186]

This is so true!! Who wants to go to Auckland anyway? 🤣

[@rogerwilco4736]

Who wants to go to New Zealand?

[@mattyb7736]

​@@rogerwilco4736 at least its better than Queersland

[@JamesDavy2009]

@@mattyb7736 Fun fact: Queersland starts and ends at the Gold Coast.

[@mattyb7736]

@@JamesDavy2009 i thought it started just out of Sydney and ended at Cape York

[@JamesDavy2009]

@@mattyb7736 Once you leave the Gold Coast, you enter bogan territory the size of Alaska. Sure Brisbane may be an exclave of sorts, but the rest of QLD is all bogan. I have less knowledge of NSW between Sydney and the border as the only time I spent in NSW was in Tweed Heads within walking distance of the twin pillars.

[@steverobertsdesign]

one question wrong, Weta is in Wellington, rest is accurate

[@66fordman]

🤣As a lifelong JAFA I agree with all the comments below, so accurate.

[@bronsonperich9430]

‘Alternative milks’ 😂😂😂

[@MrSlaidback]

Yes! We've asking for ages...thanks!

[@richardbug3094]

Lived in auckland my whole life and couldnt wait to get our as soon as I could, havent looked back since.

[@bibbabookgirl8469]

These are fun, I like these

[@darrenwest9319]

Needs to be a Wellington and Christchurch version. :) :)

[@Musiklife.9049]

😂 just discovered this guy…need to find more. Yeah, I’m a Jafa 😅

[@lids65]

You didn’t miss much 😂

[@moana_nui]

when I was in hawkes bay a few years back my parents made me take off my jumper because it said auckland on the back

[@johnnimbus8761]

It was worth it for the last 5 seconds!

[@sandpiperuk]

The tram driver in Christchurch points out the best shops (shups) for an Aussie to buy his All Blacks T shirts from.

[@GooseBucket-hr1go]

Watched with with my family as research before we teenagers are taken to Tassie for the first time. We're staying with a cousin 😂

[@tombatts126]

This is like a bad Clarke and Dawe sketch

[@vipermarn]

Another Roo let loose from the Con-Tribe🤣🤣🤣... JAFA all day!!

[@lorenehughes]

As someone who was born in Auckland and lived there till I was 6, I always say I grew up in the central north island 🤣 and I'd never willingly live in Auckland again... I tried in my 20's... Big fat nope!

[@andycraig4462]

As someone from the rest of new zealand we do not acknowledge dorklanders as part of us

[@AB-gb8lb]

Thank you Andy , we seriously don’t think about you 😂

[@yodad4776]

As a kiwi FUCKING love it

[@karinamaissin7890]

so spot on from an Aklder

[@honeyholly001]

I'm from nu zland and my sister lives in straya

[@swoopy287]

Chur, to good this one.

[@chevronlily]

Literally went to Pak n Save yesterday

[@tomasrikona4021]

Disturbingly accurate. Spooky.😳

[@jader6423]

Being a Jafa Im gonna have to agree with everything 🤣

[@lliamjurdom9505]

We need some criticism .... because there is none .... strange that but .... then our media dont allow you to comment on you tube news channels .... they're afraid of criticism ....

[@lliamjurdom9505]

Thanks for that criticism Jimmy its true I was wanking at the time ...

[@richardpartridge192]

Bloody brilliant.........

[@sunseeker4775]

What does every delivery truck driver do in Auckland when there is no parking out front? Stop and deliver!

[@alexandermenzies7610]

Kiwi here, love it mate. But what would I know, I'm an Aucklander.

[@rodlytton765]

Good stuff !! Auckland sounds grouse except for the traffic!!

[@tracykennedy6458]

Every second bus AND train!

[@VhenRaTheRaptor]

Lets be fair. The trains aren't that bad. Its only every third train.

[@britishfellow962]

my nan lives in New Zeal- I mean Auckland

[@mrsarcastic5331]

I was laughing until I realized I'm a jeffa

[@Richard-yi9yt]

you ain't missing out

[@anovemberstar]

As a keee-weeee myself - hilarious. Ps I'm not an Aucklander lol

[@lxopenfirexl7007]

Im from akl, live in the b.o.p, this is accurate asf haha

[@dankishore193]

Expensive coffee in ponsonby is accurate

[@cjkupa]

Definitely going to use this questionnaire when I recruit someone outside of Auks

[@johnsutcliffe3209]

Every aucklander does not claim to live 20 minutes from the city. Every Aucklander says they are living in Auckland at the moment.

[@jaszi33]

❤ it!!! Please do one for Wellington, must be even more amo for them - from an ex Wellingtonian 😂😊

[@jacobwinn2765]

For all that is good under heaven, do Queenstown.