Why Auckland Sucks in 4 minutes

Please join me as I undertake a comprehensive tour of Auckland's beautiful suburbs. This is everything you need to know about ''Dorkland'', also known as land of the JAFAs.
AUCKLAND CBD 0:02
AUCKLAND PORT 0:49
AVONDALE 0:59
PARNELL 1:01
PUBLIC TRANSPORT 1:08 , AT HOP CARDS and those trains ;)
WYNYARD QUARTER 1:28
ELLERSLIE 1:40
MOTORWAY 1:45
GREEN LANE 1:51
STONEFIELDS 1:55
K ROAD 1:59
PONSONBY 2:03
DOMINION RD & MT EDEN 2:05
MANGERE BRIDGE 2:26
SYLVIA PARK 2:30
GLEN INNES 2:33
PANMURE 2:40
MANUKAU 2:47
PAPATOETOE 3:01
OTAHUHU 3:21
GLENDOWIE 3:23
MISSION BAY 3:27
KOHIMARAMA 3:32
ST HELIERS 3:37
ORAKEI 3:49
REMUERA 3:53
LAINGHOLM 3:59
BEACH HAVEN 4:03
SILVERDALE 4:12
OREWA 4:22
WAIWERA 4:27
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Filmed Auckland, New Zealand June 2023
Auckland is the largest city in New Zealand, but it is not the capital
*JAFA stands for Just Another F***ing Aucklander
Auckland Suburb Reviews

[@Wesda]

if you liked this video watch my rankings on aucklands food scene kzbin.info/www/bejne/hn_YpKCaot2tntU

[@CubixTube.]

The views blow up on this video is insane 1k views a couple days ago

[@otablu685]

everything in the vid is valid XD

[@secondchance6603]

The best way to see Auckland is in your rear view mirror.

[@Clarisse451-no8rj]

Easy to say negative thing that are half truths or lies and you'll get an audience. Whatever you do - don't give up the day job because technically your video sucks.

[@Night-op7zf]

Don't mind the negative comments m8. Some kiwis are very sensitive when it comes to nz.

[@jed7517]

what the hell are the chances i see my own house and car on a video 💀

[@warwolf715]

Pretty damn high tbh, our city small as fok

[@immy3508]

Man doxxed himself haha

[@georgejensen7594]

timestamp?

[@silvertakana3932]

what's the timestamp? 🙏

[@sovahkiin4250]

i am visting every house in that video until i find you

[@hyperplayability6290]

"All the uni students are in Australia" LMFAOO

[@dande5009]

I went to Auckland Uni. Can confirm that Shadows is pitiful.

[@hyperplayability6290]

@@dande5009 a lot of the people I know ended up going to Aussie, there's a good chance I do the same next year too :P

[@dande5009]

@@hyperplayability6290 I live in Melbourne 😂

[@viiperbiite]

And the rest of us are either wishing we were or exchange students who didn’t make it to oz

[@Battleneter]

Sending the dumbest to Australia increases the IQ of both countries :)

[@samwansbone2790]

As someone who has lived in Auckland their whole life. This is very accurate

[@madda0x]

100% auckland is shit and yet all the work is in auckland :(

[@goonfish1704]

Bro… I’m so sorry

[@Jack_dub]

Yup. Approved. 👍

[@xad0r3.-luhvazr1azr..]

Yup.

[@lostmydetails8646]

100% legit

[@jamainegardner4193]

You'd need a whole other video for West Auckland alone.

[@PinkxPnther]

As someone who lives in west Auckland, I can confirm.

[@miaboaler2968]

west akl is a whole nother world

[@nullFoo]

What even goes on in West Auckland I know actually nothing about it

[@GregorySanchezFoot]

@@PinkxPnther daniell??? 😱

[@PinkxPnther]

@@GregorySanchezFoot Henry??

[@melancholicpeaceencapsulated]

Maybe I’m not depressed. Maybe I just live in Auckland.

[@XraptorNZ]

had the exact same thought

[@franciasii2435]

"I'm in a bad place rn... not mentally... I just live in aukland" 😔🙏🏻

[@perferstrategy]

LOL Your so accurate

[@franciasii2435]

@@perferstrategy Yueu'y're*

[@miraculers2121]

@@franciasii2435absolutely true

[@jameslong9921]

You forgot the inflated house prices oh wait that's all of New Zealand.

[@debbiehodson8469]

We used to joke about the last ones, leaving NZ to turn the lights off. Now it's no joke.....

[@alvinaliathos6137]

Nope, not all of New Zealand

[@randomaccount53793]

If you were unlucky enough to scrounge together a deposit to buy a freehold shoebox in the CBD like me. You probably also lost 20-30% of property value due to inflation + living in a dead city during the last 6 years. My deposit is gone, I should have just lived in a car like many others since rent is equally terrible.

[@jameslong9921]

@@randomaccount53793 I sympathize, I had to leave Ak as over the years I had to move further and further away from the CBD until eventually I found myself in Glenview l, that was enough for me.

[@Shrouded_reaper]

@alvinaliathos6137 Yeah mate just move to the middle of nowhere with not a job in sight for several hours drive away.

[@DidgeAvi]

I swear as someone who has just finished Uni, I am glad to be at least somewhat less inclined to have to go to the city, cause transport fucking sucks, and as someone who hasn't got a car and is still on his learners, the trains being cancelled for most of last year sucked so bad. I had to get up earlier than usual and the 712 fucking sucks. THIS BUS IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GOTTA WAIT 3 HRS FOR THE NEXT SERVICE CAUSE YOU CANCELLED ALL 3 BUSES THAT WERE EVEN AVAILABLE. I'm usually fine taking the 72's then walking, but if it rains I'm fucked. I never even put into perspective how shit and congested the CBD was until I went to Melbourne. How is a city that is larger and more dense got a more fucking walkable city centre that doesn't feel like your gonna choke on cig fumes or have to be diverted by construction on tiny footpaths that take fucking 2 months to finish

[@haydonditchburn2194]

I'm glad that you've finished Uni, you obviously learned about language that I haven't heard since the waterfront days. But no matter about your transport problems, they'll pale into insignificance once Auckland builds it's new stadium that it doesn't need, then the lack of transport infrastructure will be something to complain about. Until then I guess those decision makers will think they're doing a good job. 😒

[@debbiehodson8469]

@DidgeAvi 2 months to finish? We got a new cycle lane that took 1 year to finish & I ain't seen one cylist use it......☠️🏆💀😝

[@geofsmith393]

Bro, I went to Melbourne for a month, cruised around the whole city on public transport with ease then came back and really realised, like you, how crap Auckland’s public transport is! 😢

[@laurencefraser]

As a general rule, walkibility and density tend to go together.

[@TheLostProbe]

@@geofsmith393 it's crazy because by global standards, Melbourne's public transport isn't even that good. it'll get way better over the coming years though

[@pandemik0]

Bro 4 minutes, this is just a trailer for the multi-part documentary? Do Wellington next, that'll need two seasons.

[@Wesda]

Wellington video here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rqi3oHefet92iZI Not quite two seasons but we'll get there

[@Brooklyn-op3ir]

@@Wesda do a video on south auckland

[@debbiehodson8469]

If you're nice about Welly, we'll let you visit Porirua for free......

[@Squander.]

"The most picturesque part of Auckland, South Auckland" LMAOOOOO

[@Harrys.Truman-fanpage]

As someone who lives in Southwestern Pennsylvania, this is very accurate and relatable to my 0 experiences in Auckland

[@pranavdixit6157]

Wanna trade cities?

[@ninjamonkey169]

As an aucklander I have to say you crammed a lot of accuracy and footage to back it up into a short clip. This was sadly accurate but very impressive. I promise it used to be better about 15 years+ ago.

[@timor64]

At least since the 1990s it's been drab, underserved by public services especially transport, spaghetti junciton motorways alienate you from the place, traffic has always been bad whenever I've been. One third of Aucklanders said they would live somewhere else if they had the choice.

[@ninjamonkey169]

@@timor64 I moved out to the country and became the biggest snob working on inner city apartment blocks. A lot more gun violence since the gun buyback. Even things like McDonald's ditching it's fun aesthetic for a sterile, housing development style affects things. Roading has been an issue since Key opened the flood gates to foreigners and did nothing to build the infrastructure for it. A bad economy and post COVID job losses have given us more pan handlers at traffic lights, even on the north shore.

[@mikesbbody]

I've sadly lived in Auckland since 1980 and it truly does SUCK! no mention of the non stop rain all year round.

[@danieleyre8913]

I’m from Wellington. I visited in 2022, for the first time since 2007. I thought it had improved a lot. It still sucks but not as much as it used to.

[@milanvujcich]

First time realising that Britomart was renamed

[@spudpud-T67]

What are it's pronouns?

[@mohabatkhanmalak1161]

'Orewa has an Edmund Hilary statue, although he has nothing to do with the place'. That one was a blast!🤣🤣🤣

[@birdbird3000]

Fun fact about Greenlane, half the signs say Green Lane while the rest say it normally

[@KreamyKone]

That's because there is a Greenlane East and West..

[@birdbird3000]

@@KreamyKone oh that makes a lotta sense oops

[@nezuminora9528]

I'd be homesick but I left for Australia

[@Wesda]

You and 500,000 others

[@letsdoodlesomethinghome3404]

@@Wesda why wouldn’t u tho… Also I don’t think you discussed Botany or Howick.. granted they’re quite smoll. You should def checkout the botany Chinatown though 😂

[@broganking9830]

This video is the best thing that has come out of Auckland

[@chunyuenlau56]

As someone who's lived in Auckland for over 35 years, I agree that in recent years, Auckland has been really screwed up. The Council is taking more of our money away while delivering less service. People of high calibre are leaving the city in droves to the bigger cities in Australia, and they are replaced by less qualified migrants. No one goes to the CBD anymore cos it's too difficult to find a place to park the car, lanes are being reduced to single to make way for buses and bikes, shops are closed down due to constant road closures for the unnecessary underground railway development. The city's unemployment rate is getting higher and inequality gap is getting wider. Not a great formula for prosperity.

[@CitizenofAucklandSilentAudits]

And the constant leftist protests downtown to aotea square puts a lot of people off, is what I hear often.

[@seanodwyer4322]

Bins gone replaced by scooters/ bikes/ other on footpaths.- and Masterrace beggers all over

[@oatsnpeaches420]

Building the CRL is critical, whereas what you're advocating for - more roads, is the opposite of "prosperous". There has to be more options than just driving everywhere in Auckland. Traffic is horrendous for productivity and wasted time.... 😂

[@munkyjammin]

Auckland Transport & Ministry of Transport want everyone to have less inner city parking & less busy roads, less cars in the cbd & no planned parking facilities. They want you to take public transport in & around. Sadly, this concept isn't practical for many public users ( disabled, elderly, families with young children ) nor helpful to many retail businesses.

[@seanodwyer4322]

@@munkyjammin For last 7 years ahh hae had a real issue / problem with scooters/ push-bikes /other.- Hit by one three/3 years ago and nearlly dieid off Blood- Poisoning from ankle broken in 3 spots and metal rod there untill - whatever. - After 37 days in Auckland City hospital on thier vegan menu , ahh was a proper Gentleman and posted 7 letters too Auckland Council , and A.C.C. and the Council Demons told me too contact Parliment/ Beehive only in Wellington City. - concerning my - ''Total War.''- issues.''

[@ethans.mp4244]

someone needs to reopen waiwera hot pools

[@piensodiferente]

And the Rotorua Museum please!

[@chellapetrelli160]

I read that the guy who owned it died a couple years ago of covid and the last I heard, they were demolishing and clearing everything at Waiwera away to sell the land off and probably put housing complexes or industrial factories there.

[@poppyboiXCIX]

No one in NZ has the money for that.

[@elyjahwood3596]

went past it the other week and they bulldozed everything, all of it is just a field of mud. Crazy how something as big and influential like that can disappear bc of a some russian.

[@Secretlyanothername]

Honestly got sad seeing that. Loved visiting it as a kid

[@maykay.jaykayman9647]

Impressed by how many Suburbs you covered, prompts to you going all the way to waiwera

[@yourejustwrong124]

I know you're talking shit but I really enjoy watching someone talk about the places I live in/go to often lmao

[@acrylic4593]

"although they were actually the most intresting thing at the base" "somebody vomited outside the pwc but fair enough to be honest" 💀💀💀

[@yaboi2646]

Love how you mentioned everything bad about Auckland but still had the balls not to mention nor go anywhere near West Auckland, props to you mate

[@Sorthweest]

Sounds like someone forgot where Laingholm is.

[@arthurwatts1680]

Makes Melbourne look like a dream destination. I'll admit that I enjoyed the South Island but that Ring of Fire thing is a real downer. Kia Ora, bro ;)

[@gfan003]

Hahaha, have to agree on that, Stupid Road works That killed half of city's businesses.

[@secondchance6603]

That's the plan.

[@fuzz7981]

I was the only Australian living in Auckland it seems as I was constantly reminded. Lived in CBD, managed the Newmarket Noel Leeming.

[@Secretlyanothername]

They hate Australians because they have an inferiority complex

[@catwithacamera5914]

As someone who went to SHS, those dollar chips were a life saver (THEY’RE NOW THREE DOLLARS GRRR)

[@hugoML652]

Bro I can't fucking breath, this is hilarous and your te reo is mean as

[@96Caleb96]

He said no words correctly, not even the english ones 😂

[@hugoML652]

@@96Caleb96 🦍

[@skeletonorigami2308]

@@96Caleb96 his accent may be different from your own but that doesn't mean the way he pronounces words is wrong [: there isn't a universal "right way" to pronounce english due to the hundreds of different accents earths population has.

[@goonfish1704]

@@skeletonorigami2308yeah most would agree there’s no universal right way to say English words, but try telling that to a Maori about their language… different story

[@clips9969]

@@goonfish1704 cause hes pronouncing them wrong hahaha

[@danbanana6481]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="198">3:18</a> Lil Orbits doughnuts A+ 10/10

[@goonfish1704]

Lil Orbits is the highlight of this country these days.

[@Velihn]

fr

[@_tsuki_]

You just made me 10x more interesed in Auckland

[@scorpnz4433]

That infill housing architecture makes for a stunning view. It's in keeping with the state of tv & movies these days. Removing cones too suddenly only invokes panic &/or withdrawal ,hence why there's what appears to be many lone cones about the place they provide comfort

[@HoodwinkFalls]

this is the most accurate representation of auckland I've ever seen

[@benthomas9830]

Bro, I moved away from auckalnd when I was 12 but this shit was nostalgic as fuck

[@breebrown5610]

Due to the commentary, I find this absolutely hilarious

[@slickfinisher123]

I never questioned walking through a Stirling Sports to get into Westfield mall. But now I always will. Thank you.

[@joshuahill6153]

The NX1/NX2 double deckers are packed at peak. Also PC4607 is assigned to the WX1 which has full capacity buses <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="79">1:19</a> correction. I would like to add comparing a bus finishing their route to a full double decker is a bad comparision.

[@UrbanKiwiana]

😂😂 that was ferkn Gold bro,.absolutely funny as, I definitely do not miss the place. Happy as living far far away from all of that.

[@user-ec5zb2vq6y]

Legit underrated KZbinr

[@thecrxguy420]

this was amazing to watch

[@yap9877]

Barilla dumplings are SO good though glad you went there. Very accurate video.

[@d.p.l9623]

Top tier content, and accurate af

[@CallsignYukiMizuki]

Lil orbits donuts is absolutely goated like holy shit

[@bananabrainz]

why did I only just find this>>!!! thanks from auckland this is epic. Good shot at beach haven but next time roast the shore properly please I can give you a million ideas hahaha

[@crossroads670]

Quality content

[@mrurquhart9138]

I've lived in Otahuhu nigh on 4 years now and to this day I have yet to try Ulutoa & Sons, could've built a fukin house with them taro bricks 😂 should've gone to the Hangi Shop my bro. Thanks for taking one for the team Wes.

[@nadinefay1560]

Well done, you’ve done a very accurate review! 😂

[@411smiths]

Bro you did the whole of they city😂😂love it brother

[@user-cz9qq8re4s]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="209">3:29</a> I moved around Auckland quite a bit but that’s literally a shot of the road that leads to my house💀 Sorry my old house

[@EuropezonUruguayo1]

This applies to the whole country. I cant wait to leave

[@ashavanderburgh5990]

I am from Europe and I am starting to feel the same as you :(

[@leonid123ful]

Get out while you can!

[@Night-op7zf]

@@ashavanderburgh5990 Even the locals feel the same. 20 % of the population lives overseas. How many countries have that much leaving not in war time situation.

[@ashavanderburgh5990]

@@Night-op7zf It's sad really. People are suffering. We might go back to Europe. Will you go to Ozzie when you can?

[@Night-op7zf]

@ashavanderburgh5990 made the move 2 yrs ago. Life's easier here better pay cheaper food and other expenses. You have more options in Europe why stay in nz? Only reason I can think of to stay in nz is to be near family. Anything nz has u have in Europe and often better quality n more choices.

[@treehuggernz]

Pretty much nailed it bro.

[@starfraud9670]

As someone who lives in the north shore I agree with all of this. Just forgot to talk about how the roads not in the city take years to fix a single crack.

[@mrjonkane]

Absolute gold, you might just put us back in the map with this… but disappointed Point Chev doesn’t make a mention, I swear we are the seat of the cone throne right now… one road in and we never let you out.

[@debbiehodson8469]

You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.....

[@Jordddzz]

Bro also left out Botany and Howick, smh

[@Wesda]

i'll get there next time!

[@oliviadimock8202]

i mean, east Auckland is super irrelevant

[@ShadowFC_20]

Yea I thought that as well

[@ShadowFC_20]

@@oliviadimock8202 Woah but understandable. Theres not much there

[@CallsignYukiMizuki]

Bro theres literally nothing here. Except for that shooting range in howick domain literally across a primary school

[@green_taken]

i don't live in auckland but occasionally go there for various reasons, only thing i can remember is that basketball court at BK

[@Akito_gachaglobe]

I was literally about to whine to myself about how annoying living in Auckland is, and then this came in my recommended 😂 I’m also really glad I live on the North Shore-

[@SailingAwayNZ]

He forgot to say it took him a week to drive to all these places. queen street in the 1980-2010's Friday and Saturday night life was great. I walked down and up queen street at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="570">9:30</a>-<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="630">10:30</a>, police in groups of 3 everywhere Auckland council security in groups of 3, almost no one, no clubs or bars open very few people no buskers or street performers. but every doorway had a homeless person setup for the night. The Viaduct was the only place hanging on to night life. Everyone must be broke compared to 1980-2010's

[@Sylar-451]

I wasn't sad at all till Waiwera hotpools was chucked in there at the end.. 😭

[@Sidstar101]

did not expect my area to be on this haha

[@user-bd5ur8re3q]

The c#m store got me LOL

[@genericinternetmale14]

Aucklander watching this on my one way flight to Aus. Well done m8

[@Secretlyanothername]

Welcome mate! Where are you setting up?

[@randomaccount53793]

Congratulations, my one way Melbourne ticket is booked for a bit over a month away. Auckland is an embarrassment.

[@DanielleA2023]

Intelligent informed engaging visually appealing well articulated and pronunciated ... very Kiwi 💯🌟

[@bounty5309]

Mangere Bridge hits different bro

[@azureflame2223]

As someone who used to live in beachhaven. Yeah, its bad. The areas so stuck in the middle of nowhere the only people i ever met there were party animals by the ferry at night with nothing better to do and old married couples who retired and didn't want to be bothered. Its small, its constricted, its not good.

[@critical_always]

My apartment is on k-road. Lived here for 6 years. The city has gone to hell.

[@william_coduks]

This is great 😆😆😆😆

[@yonker1219]

The CBD was to accurate, especially queen street and wynyard.

[@Secretlyanothername]

Nz is like 90% vape stores and convenience stores selling pies

[@ZKLuxhador]

As a whangarei resident, can confirm this represents auckland pretty well

[@chloeliterallyno7504]

This is accurate for this time ,Born and Breed in Sth Auckalangi now live in the Manawatu sad to say Auckland is a mini India 👳🏽‍♂️Go back to 90s early 2000s Auckland was the place to be 💪

[@aiy.96]

This just makes me want to go to New Zealand even more being an American 😦

[@PwerRanger01]

ha stay away if you're a liberal. its that kind of shyte globalist garbage that ruined nz.

[@angusbrunskill7928]

The best bit about Ponsonby is the Hamilton ice cream store

[@user-cz9qq8re4s]

I used t live in Parnell and go to that exact BurgerFuel!

[@Coballo99]

Auckland is my home city but I agree with everything. Actually one of my fav videos.

[@MattyStarfish]

So proud my Beach Haven got a mention.

[@jackiusbasire3013]

didn't even watch the video still gave it a like

[@ayod0011]

Everything is in point but when i went to melbourne there were way more vape shops not to mention people vaping straight in ur face on the train shuttle thing😂

[@wiist696]

did not expect to see Laingholm here 😭😭

[@M34tboss]

I thought this might be a video of someone sitting in their room complaining about the C.O.L but this was hilarious and well researched. The abandoned and derelict Waiwera hot pools was my highlight ❤

[@jacktoonproductions]

you know what my favorite part about tauranga is? the fact that a 500m drive takes 10 minutes on the very high chance you're not driving on a highway at midday...

[@piieg195]

I live in auckland, but not the city part so I have stuff to be thankful for

[@laurie8857]

Ah this is what I long for when i go on KZbin thank you

[@shahzebkazmi6097]

Old mate just completely left out west Auckland, don’t blame him haha

[@Underthebridgemetoo]

I love how they keep bleeping out "decker".......hahahah

[@sweetjustice1809]

It rain's for 3 months night and day and then has a little break for half a day before continuing.

[@jeromez423]

"Bascally 1 line" - so true

[@MewiCanAnimate]

i remember that water park before it was run down good times

[@Coopzta]

Orakei main smoke spot got a feature😂

[@elizabethbennett7608]

Love it 😂😂and your rite i lived here for over 20 years on point and so fukn funny how you tell it like it is

[@harryfairgray9639]

Lovd this

[@joelsunnex5171]

Bro was too scared to set foot in Otara.

[@simonwatling2203]

nailed it

[@gregbooth1551]

EPIC!

[@brentsummers7377]

Not to mention the Southern rail line. When it's running taking the train to Puhinui & electric bus to the airport is actually pretty good. Better than the absurd idea of slow light rail right to the airport. But then they close the Southern line for a whole six days over Kings Birthday weekend to do line work. Imagine the outcry if the London Tube closed the Piccadilly Line for six days.

[@MovieDirector101]

Bro said a building in Glendowie was named after a slur It’s a building at my high school named after our principal 💀

[@Secretlyanothername]

Slurs on them

[@MrThrashmetal101]

Please do Palmerston North 😂

[@Jordddzz]

Ahhhhh Home 😊

[@Mikey8028]

Can't believe you missed the two Albert park chinese takeaways with identical names right next to each other too. Really nice food. Also the spider in Avondale.

[@CitizenofAucklandSilentAudits]

Not Albert park, Mt Albert noodle house x2 Right?

[@fancyfeast4610]

Is this New Zealand's capital? Looks quaint and peaceful

[@gavinnz486]

Spot on

[@KreamyKone]

If you think Auckland is bad, wait till you see the rest of the country LOL!

[@say1ess867]

Literally, Nzers love to talk shit about Auckland but live in ghost towns like not everybody wants to see the same 5 people everyday 😂

[@luminisant]

small town life = bad lmao