Things Not To Say To FGM Survivors And Campaigners

Survivors of female genital mutilation have been through one of the most traumatic experiences imaginable. And they often find people's reactions are intrusive, confused and downright triggering. Here, women who have undergone FGM, or are active in campaigning against it, discuss some of the common beliefs around the practice and the reactions that are most unhelpful.
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[@Sarah-wp9ss]

Hi! Could you do an episode of ‘things not to say to people who tried to commit suicide’?

[@ameena6485]

+

[@marlenasien8793]

Would you not want someone to ask you why you did it?

[@Phoenix-qm8wy]

Marlena Sien i wouldn’t mind it brings more awareness to me and my struggles and how to deal with others with it

[@jamesmichaels4979]

That would be a dead good one.

[@sorchaoreilly2633]

@@marlenasien8793 No. Relevant similar questions may be asked when attending a professional about it or if the person chooses to talk about it to someone who is close with them. But you don't just say "why". It's painful stuff to talk about. Even in the aforementioned contexts, they should be asking tactfully about what led to it, what was on their mind but it's nobody else's business to ask for more details than what the person themselves brings up even if they're publicly sharing a survival story.

[@midorishiwa]

Can the older lady with a yellow jumper be my fairy godmother? She has an amazing voice and sounds soooo strong and patient and passionate!

[@Bradmhj]

midorishiwa I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

[@megansadorus2285]

@@Bradmhj There's a difference between cultural relativism and universal human rights. Cultures differ but painful, traumatic, lifelong suffering is a violation of human rights. Just because some women have grown up and learned to manage their trauma in a healthy, empowering way, doesn't make it any less traumatic.

[@phyllis9853]

@@Bradmhj but the difference between the butt implants and fgm is CONSENT. Most of these young women who go through it didn’t consent to it at all and was probably screaming and crying through the process. That’s why this practice needs to be banned and it’s also not medically safe because the proper tools and aftercare aren’t being used. We are not trying to shit on anyone’s culture, we are just trying to protect victims.

[@ririschannelx]

thinking of fgm makes me queasy but these women are so brave 🙏

[@jawmarie]

What is FGM? Could someone explain exactly what that means?

[@rebeccak9597]

@@jawmarie it's when females have their genitals removed/ sewed. It's usually because of cultures

[@jawmarie]

@@rebeccak9597 Thank you ❤

[@rebeccak9597]

@@jawmarie haha no problem 😊

[@janemordey6083]

@Orgasm Donor thank you for such a clear concise explanation, there are so many medical complications resulting in lifelong pain, how any person can defend it is beyond me, I do not agree with male circumsision either as I think this often goes wrong and ends in mutilation, why some female fgm campaigners have their sons circumsised is a weird one!

[@elliot7404]

For once BBC three covers a much needed topic. FGM is absolutely disgusting and tragic. Mutilation is really the perfect word because it's dangerous, disgusting and heartbreaking to see this happen in modern times. To be completely honest I don't even agree with Male circumcision. It upsets me so much to see this happen to this day to young innocent girls being held down and cut with often non sterile tools and cut it absolutely breaks my heart it is so upsetting.

[@fritnat]

The situation with male circumcision is much worse, its legal even in our modern times in Britain and far more widespread. At least girls have a legal protection and enjoy widespread condemnation of the practice.

[@fritnat]

@@elliot7404 How exactly is the damage much less? In by far the most cases more erogenous functional tissue is lost with male circumcision than female. The foreskin has an area the size of a credit card containing the most touch sensitive part of the penis. With fgm it can even be very difficult to determine whether it has even been caried out as the only case to be successfully prosecuted here in Denmark has shown. There is never any doubt that a boy has been circumcised, it is clearly visible from some distance and could never be kept a secret from one's partner. An adult man is never unaware of his circumcision status as very many women are. Boys have lost their penis while no girl has lost her vagina. More boys have lost their life than girls and it happens in our developed world including Britain, Norway, Italy, USA, Canada etc. No girl has lost her life even with illegal fgm in those countries. again how is it less damaging?

[@fritnat]

@@elliot7404 Male or female its mutilation. female circumcision was called FGM to make the artificial distinction between male and female circumcision. Man more boys die of from infections or complications than girls do. There is no real evidence to suggest that women who have had FGM are more likely to die in childbirth than those who have not. the clitoris is never removed with FGM, only the hood or the node which is a tiny part of the organ. There are many more nerve endings in the foreskin. Male circumcision ends in complications more often than FGM. I agree infibulation is very barbaric however this accounts for only a small percentage of FGM cases and even in these cases it is usually easier to restore the genitals than with MGM as the clitoris is usually left intact. For every case of infibulation there are upwards of 100 cases of MGM.

[@fritnat]

@@elliot7404 Well I hope I've been able to correct some misconceptions for you.

[@elliot7404]

@@fritnat I didn't need that I just made a comment on how atrocious fgm is. I mentioned Male circumcision one and I said I did not agree with it not taking away from its value.

[@mehakrassul2289]

basically when i was 8 i came back from a holiday in Africa and i was sick, i couldn't walk , nothing. when we arrived at the border patrol thing, the guy asked me if i had gone through fgm and obviously at that time i didn't know what it was and i shouldn't have either. my mum was like no, shes only eight yrs old, she shouldn't know what that is. i hadn't gone through fgm but because we came back from Africa and i was really sick , they had to ask. I'm proud of them!!! maybe if more people knew the signs and symptoms, it would happen less, idk

[@gracyru8806]

Which country in Africa? Because your statement is implying ALL the border patrols in Africa ask that. Its probably a common occurence at the border of the country you were leaving because they practice it. And fgm is not a sickness. It does not have 'signs and symptoms'. Some women don't even know it was done to them until waaaay later in life. Its physical,its psychological,its basically a super compounded issue.

[@mehakrassul2289]

Grace Rimuri I’m sorry if it sounded like I’m making assumptions but by signs and symptoms I mean being tired , being really drained out and things like that. My auntie actually went through fgm and I know that from experience, and I was in Tanzania in east Africa.

[@Bradmhj]

yes female genital mutation, feminist named it that but it really is more closely to circumcising, I read a few articles and when ppl go and teach ppl in these countries this s wrong, the “mutilation” words angers the culture because mutilation translates very harshly, same as the word sound. Many woman to it voluntarily as a part of becoming a woman. But now we a infringing on cultures that do this voluntarily same as males

[@Bradmhj]

I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

[@razee7869]

IceyYou sis it's like making vagina a prison before marriage....it's no way near circumcision...because FGM has lot of side effects and even cause death...but circumcision is just removing foreskin

[@Noushie]

FGM is unthinkable and it’s even more heartbreaking how many young woman are in this video

[@Bradmhj]

Noushie 5000 I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

[@halodp9161]

@@Bradmhj Having you genitals forcefully mutilated as a child is not the same as choosing to split you tongue as an adult. There is no defense for this barbaric practice.

[@mxrishak5569]

me and my biology teacher had and argument over, he kept telling me how it’s the same as male circumcision and got angry everytime I disputed him, western ignorance is such a huge problem

[@fritnat]

Western ignorance? It is the same, it's genital mutilation! It's a matter of infomred consent and bodily integrity - the right to one's own body, not about sex!

[@aoifek9709]

Simon Pope I understand what you base your comment off and I fundamentally agree but circumcision is nowhere near as severe, for different reasons and at an older age

[@fritnat]

@@aoifek9709 Male circumcision is generally more severe than female circumcision, with the loss of more erogenous and uniquely functional tissue. Generally speaking the age is the same within the same communities practicing it. There are however many communities which only practice male circumcision. The younger the age the more the damage.

[@aoifek9709]

Simon Pope link me at least 3 sources which give outright facts to support each claim you made in that comment.

[@Nevillescardigan]

@@fritnat are you genuinely trying to argue that the foreskin is more erogenous and UNIQUELY functional than the clitoris ........ the clit's only function is pleasure......it is the only organ in the human body that can only be used for pleasure. It has nothing to do with the reproductive process. I don't see how the removal of the foreskin is anywhere near the same as having your clitoris cut out, your labia sliced off and your vagina sewn up??? To make them equivalent people would have to cut off half of the penis shaft, slice the foreskin off, and then sew some part of the genitals together. No body who is against fgm would ever be in favour of circumcision. HOWEVER, no woman gets FGM done in a sanitary, medical environment. The cutting is more severe, the loss of organs/tissue is more severe, and they then have to go most likely go through being cut back open on their wedding night, and giving birth. Cutting a baby/child's genitals without their consent is one of the most vile, evil things you can do. But you cannot argue that the loss of a foreskin is in any way worse/equal to the removal of an entire sexual organ, the removal of tissue, and the sewing up of a vagina.

[@awochoco]

I cried because I'm Somali and fgm is big in our country it's such a bad thing.

[@fritnat]

It's becoming more and more medicalised inspired by western male circumcision.

[@fritnat]

@Reg. Pson Very much so... for example: www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=2ahUKEwjEraWhxOjhAhXoMewKHSMlCHEQFjABegQIBhAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.popcouncil.org%2Fuploads%2Fpdfs%2F2018RH_UnderstandingMedFGMC-Nigeria.pdf&usg=AOvVaw2uOKYmZuu302CTZEQnT3Er No MGM has not been medicalised for thousands of years but only since the late 19th century together with FGM.

[@awochoco]

@@fritnat those are two different things fgm is awful and has some awful consequences, yes mc have been medically but fgm has a different story

[@fritnat]

@@awochoco No, both are genital mutilation. MGM is usually more awful, and is done legally in the entire world! No, they have essentially the same story.

[@hazelandale6713]

I'm not trying to be pushy but I'm genuinely curious. Have you had it done and how did it affect you or if you haven't has someone close to you had it done?

[@ChiMasterMedia]

It is terrible. Thanks for talking about it. ❤🙏

[@Bradmhj]

Chi Asmr I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

[@EclecticallyEccentric]

@@Bradmhj The fact that something is culturally accepted does not make it objectively okay.

[@bonya-dl2rc]

Despite the pain during the circumcision (clitoris and labia), it wasn't terrible for me, but it made me proud and didn't cause any problems. All my girlfriends have had the same experience.

[@TheLicktysplitz]

Thank you ladies for being so brave and strong and sharing this so very important story. I'm glad my mom taught me about this when I was younger so I have an understanding of it. I'm sorry people ask you ridiculous and way too personal of questions. this day and age of the internet people can get most of their questions answered in privacy on their own electronic device versus going up to a Survivor and asking them idiotic questions.

[@yayeetai9451]

FGM is very bad thats all I know

[@ella6026]

Shandy Leer read the description

[@user-hg9tb8xp1n]

Shandy Leer i’d look it up but you can get an idea from the name, ‘female genital mutilation’

[@ceesays6725]

FGM is the practice, especially in some cultures of cutting the clitoris off.. there are many other approaches in which people can take , for instance making the vagina opening much smaller. It is mainly done to prohibit women from being sexually active or totally exclude her from being able to orgasm...

[@Indichann]

All genital mutilation is awful. Something that should be outlawed everywhere.

[@aaliyaahmed6534]

I survived

[@selenalamothe997]

FGM makes me so incredibly blood boiling angry. I am glad for this video and for these women.

[@Sai-eb2rg]

@Ankadu Satish If you weren't dumb and actually knew basic biology, you would know that the penis develops from the clitoris, so they're very similar. Male circumcision removes only the hood, the equivalent would be removing the clitoral hood. But in fgm, the whole head of the clitoris is often removed, or other parts of the vulva are severed or sewed shut, the equivalent would be to cut half of the penis off. This would make urinating very painful and other complications, e.g not being able to feel sexual pleasure. For women, it also hurts when they're on periods and childbirth has many complications, there is an increased risk of death. Male circumcision doesn't have side effects like that, in fact it can have positive effects like reduced risk of infections, but it should be the boy's choice tbh, the parents shouldn't decide for their kid, and the boy should only decide when he is like 18. It is bizzare you think both those things are comparable.

[@widowkeeper4739]

Just heartbreaking. Do not cut people's genitals unless it's absolutely medically necessary (or they are a consenting adult). This should just be common sense.

[@mariazou9437]

These women are so brave for speaking put about their trauma in such a public way, knowing that they're gonna get hate for it. Courageous, amazing women, God bless them and grant them good health and a long life.

[@erdbarbambusbjorn675]

The lady w the pink scarf has such a beautiful aura and I really like her voice

[@channyp7210]

The girl with the black hair and orange top is so beautiful omg I couldn’t stop looking at her

[@fjellyo3261]

Also the black girls with white shirts :).

[@mercyscartel]

That’s Nas!!! She’s amazing

[@ashlee907]

A P they are alllll beautiful

[@channyp7210]

ashlee ramsey didn’t say they wasn’t all beautiful, I was just drawn to her appearance more due to her looking so unique. Jeez I can’t even give a compliment without offending anyone 😂

[@kiwi6175]

@@channyp7210 I don't even think ashlee was offended LOL

[@caribbeancurls1963]

Your body YOUR choice. It's so unfair that the person is being forcibly held down and cut. They should have a choice in the matter as it's THEIR body after all!

[@Bradmhj]

Caribbean Curls a lot of them do it willingly and the elder woman encourage it. MSM makes it seem the other way

[@CC-hx8gj]

I feel the same way about circumcision

[@ReplyGuy22345]

IceyYou so willingly

[@megansadorus2285]

@@Bradmhj No. You're wrong. The vast majority of girls who undergo FGM are underaged minors and are forced to do so, either physically or culturally. If an adult woman decides to do this for herself, then fine, but don't you dare romanticize the torture and mutilation of literal children.

[@mt3930]

I don’t think anyone would choose it (if they were given all the information about it)

[@Tess-ky4tq]

I didnt even know this existed. Im glad i am now aware of this HUGE issue.

[@efil1607]

How old are you?

[@jacobwilliams6163]

What is it

[@laurenhazlett6327]

@@jacobwilliams6163 Female genital mutilation

[@angelicgacha]

Same

[@Bradmhj]

Angelic Gacha I know it sounds crazy but if you read these sources done by well known organization you’ll begin to have insight on these other cultures. Same way we do body mods in our country, like tongue splitting, butt implants, etc. But read it with an open mind, I’m not saying it’s ok at all just that it’s not what the general media makes it out to be some horror film scenario. Many woman are in they’re 20s and proud to become a woman this way Two sources www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/ www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-47133941

[@fjellyo3261]

Another problem some people assume all Africa does FGM. First the vast majority of Africans don't practice this cruel mutilation. Second Indonesia has the highest absolut numbers.

[@dawoool]

Not all Muslims do it but ONLY Muslims do it.

[@sahraali568]

@@dawoool correction, non muslims do it too . Like the girls mentioned in the video it dates back before Muslim was ever practiced. It doesn't have to do with religion it's more traditions that's has been passed on from Egyptian pharaohs. In the Quran it doesn't mention Gfm but people still do it why ? Because of men this is one way of controlling women sexuality.

[@dawoool]

@@sahraali568 Do any non-Muslims do it today?

[@dawoool]

@@sahraali568 Controlling women's sexuality? Seems more like destroying women's sexuality to me. IMO, anybody doing it to a little girl should be thrown to lions.

[@guidomista7473]

@@dawoool Yes. It happens it the UK and US

[@blueriver.]

These women are incredible - their activism and speaking out is so valuable. I really hope FGM is eradicated by the next decade it's been long enough! ❤

[@mzanahenriques]

The fact that this barbaric practice still happens in such large numbers shatters my heart to a million pieces, so videos like this that bring awareness and shows that there are options of recovery for the survivors, there is theraphy, there is restoring surgery and other possibilities for pleasure and overall a life beyong this assault is great to know.

[@jonahs92]

MALE genital mutilation is much, MUCH more common. We need to fight against that as well.

[@lindanorris2455]

maybe men should go through fgm instead?

[@skyandthemoon]

@@jonahs92 no where near the same did you not hear the question in the start ? If men were having half their dicks chopped off then the remaining sewed up then sure it would be equivalent

[@josephsandy25]

“Don’t google what it looks like...” *googles*

[@gracyru8806]

...and 😱

[@femkevdw8369]

I googled before she said that

[@gracyru8806]

@@femkevdw8369 what did you see 🙈😭

[@Red_Insania]

I googled back in the days after playing in Desert Flower. It hurts even looking at it

[@Bradmhj]

It looked normal but smooth with no low hanging lips. Kinda like it does before you age a lot. I thought it’d look all cut up but it heals naturally kinda like male circumcising

[@deslyoness1174]

Thank you to all survivors and campaigners for speaking out, spreading awareness and most importantly for helping other women and girls who are in danger of fgm and/or have suffered from fgm ♡ lots of love and strength to you

[@han00ny]

Thank you for talking about FGM are a very strong woman

[@CollateralDamagex3]

This is such an important video! Thank you BBC and the incredible women featured!

[@risatak3973]

"Dont google" .... * opens google *

[@Anna133199]

Bonus points if you're doing it on a work computer.

[@AngryCandy89]

Please, do one of "Things not to say to women who don't have kids".

[@kathleenwhite6762]

Or who can't have kids

[@evaschroeder4020]

@@kathleenwhite6762 I don't have kids yes

[@hearmeoutbro]

People who don’t want kids. There are men who don’t want kids either.

[@elease8628]

@@hearmeoutbro men will never give birth to children. So it doesn't matter

[@britdovah4903]

I'm not the smartest person so I did have to look up what FGM meant and I burst into tears. Y'all are so brave for telling these stories and just not letting it tear you down!!

[@fruitpastel3643]

Im still looking it up is it stitching the vigiana together

[@shetraharte3802]

@@fruitpastel3643 thats one form of it

[@missylissy200]

Such lovely, strong, brave ladies. I can't even imagine what they had to go through. I wish them all the best in life!

[@taotaostrong]

I love this series! However it’s a modern day shame that BBC is constantly teaching people how to NOT BE OBNOXIOUS. Best wishes to everyone who works on this series. Thanks for promoting empathy and civility. ❤️👸🏾

[@K-a-n-d-i-s]

So true all of these "questions not too ask" are common sense, I would never even dream of asking any of these questions in the first place without having to be told, should be the same for everyone. Manners are a rare thing these days.

[@taotaostrong]

@@K-a-n-d-i-s Absolutely! Have a great Sunday. 💞

[@Nico.Robin7]

This made me cry 😭😭. Those women are so brave.

[@aaronmicalowe]

My wife came from a culture in which FGM was considered normal. For the first few years we were together she was self conscious about it. Once she accepted that I feel no judgement then she accepted her body as it is, at least with me. Like all things I think the worst part is how people react to you and the judgement they're hiding in that moment is such an unwanted barrier.

[@melloemarsh8069]

this is extremely heartbreaking. I can not express my gratitude enough to these women for participating in this video 🙏💜🌸

[@taylorq23]

Your next video should be things not to say to people with learning disabilities I would love to see that video

[@rainbowflowerpower4464]

Taylor Q my cousin has Down syndrome and I will literally punch anyone if they insult him, my whole family loves him so we look out for him but people still judge him it makes me so angry and sad so I would love a video on learning disabilities to teach people that people like my cousin deserves to be treated fairly and like a human

[@SuperDuperSP]

@@rainbowflowerpower4464 you need to calm down if you'll use violence in response of verbal insult. Not really a good role model I'd say.

[@CC-hx8gj]

"Hello"

[@asha5548]

They finally did a good (as in interesting) topic. Well done to these women for speaking out about this.

[@aplam94]

I had to goggled what FGM was. Omg it’s awful I feel bad for all these beautiful women.

[@dawoool]

It is an exclusively Muslim practice.

[@aim-to-misbehave5674]

@@dawoool And yet there were several Christian women in this video, from Christian families, who were baptised as children, talking about their experiences with being survivors of FGM... Mutilation of girls' genitals to discourage them from having sex predates both Christianity and Islam.

[@forever_moonchild1457]

@@dawoool Muslim here. No it’s not it’s not written anywhere in the Quran 🤡🤡💀💀💀

[@kaylee1769]

@@aim-to-misbehave5674 Its a VERY RARE things some (fake) Christians do, if somebody really has a relationship with Christ they wouldn’t do this to their children. I don’t believe those people were real Christians and truly saved if they’d torture and abuse their child, it also says nothing in the Bible about that. I’ve been a Christian my whole life, I’m 21 and never heard about this being a Christian thing

[@kylovesart]

This was a wonderful video. I'd been previously misinformed about the reasoning behind FGM (something about it being likened to circumcision as a routine thing for religion). So a lot of what I saw about people calling it cruel, seemed to me to be unfair bc the only reason people do it now they do (in America anyway) is out of desperation bc their religious practices aren't respected by law. This gave me a perspective that I no longer have. This channel is awesome.

[@fritnat]

It's just a group of activists making claims, how would you know what to believe? Actually the federal law banning FGM in USA had been thrown out so those charged had the charges dropped, so it kind've looks like there is repect for their religious tradition. They're doing it for the same reason so many americans circumcise their boys: religion and tradition.

[@Lynxitid]

@@fritnat But that doesn’t make it right either. You can’t/shouldn’t mutilate someone & use religion/culture as a back up. That doesn’t make it any better.

[@fritnat]

@@Lynxitid No it certainly doesn't however the video is doing exactly that by making out that the genital mutilation of boys is something entirely different, something trivial and any comparison not to be taken seriously.

[@Lynxitid]

@@fritnat there certainly are differences to the two & the levels of each operation/mutilation. I’ve noticed a lot of comments tryin to make it an oppression olympics almost. Like both are absolutely terrible.

[@fritnat]

@@Lynxitid What essential differences and what levels? How is pointing out the divisiveness, the racism and the hypocrisy making it almost an "oppression olympics"?

[@parrotdoesasploot2381]

Things not to say to people with Dissociative Identity Disorder

[@ellaelliott4415]

HELL YES LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[@ew1852]

Wow this was genuinely interesting. FGM is awful and whilst I knew about it and how terrible it is, this video made me realise I'd never actually heard directly from so many women affected.

[@trinam9197]

Can you please make a video on (things not to say to an interracial couple).

[@johannah.3930]

Yes please!!!

[@gatestimonymiracle1302]

Interracial is overrated

[@hedgyverona100]

If you’re the white girl and he’s the black guy, one of the first questions you get as the girl is ‘soooo how big is the dick’

[@LoganLS0]

@@gatestimonymiracle1302 how so?

[@gatestimonymiracle1302]

@@LoganLS0 Interracial dating shouldn't be a wow thing ,its a human dating another human .It's just that both are from different parts of the earth

[@mrshoney2624]

What type of cult would do this very harmful thing to a child, parents should be locked up for life

[@benanon4429]

Didn't know what FGM stood for, i was not expecting that, that is not okay

[@ajn1610]

What a wonderful group of women. Thankyou ladies for sharing your experiences.

[@0ChildStar]

One of my class mates had it done. Me and another girl brought her homework, class materials and sometimes food to her for about 6 months. This happened in 1998. :(

[@selenalamothe997]

How old were all of you?

[@0ChildStar]

@@selenalamothe997 18 years old.

[@Trund27]

Well done!! This is important and NO, it’s nothing like the male operation. I don’t agree with that either, but this about women and girls. These ladies are my heroines!!!

[@Benjavaz]

Snodge Kat genital mutilation is genital mutilation. 3,000 male infants are strapped down and their genitals are mutilated everyday in the United States and no one cares about them.

[@1000nipples]

@@Benjavaz yes it's genital mutilation and it shouldn't be practiced on anyone, but male circumcision doesn't have all the risks that fgm does. do you know how many girls have died from fgm? not to mention that baby boys get anesthesia before it's done. both are bad, but fgm is worse. often times they use whatever they can find to cut so nothing is clean.

[@Benjavaz]

stormageddon darklordofall many infants die from circumcision or experience horrible complications. This isn’t a game of who has it worse. One is not worse than the other.

[@i.cs.z]

@@Benjavaz Both bad, but the proces and the damage is worst in fgm. In circumcission, they remowe the foreskin, it would be the same if they have cut of the top of the penis (I don't know how it called in english). Mutilation is mutilation, but some is worst, like if they cut 2 finger off is bad but cuting of the whole hand is worst. Both mutilation, but one cause bigger damage and fgm cause bigger damage.

[@richardparke4105]

@@1000nipples So you’d be okay with legalising the instances of type 1 FGM that remove the clitoral hood (tissue that is homologous to the foreskin) so long as it was carried out in hospitals, by doctors, using anaesthesia?

[@epicmonkey6663]

I'm amazed at their ability to conduct themselves the way they have in this video I've had my own horrible experiences not in this nature but it's stuff that has hurt me in such a way that I'm never going to forget and it's a regular struggle to successfully function around people or even around society it's brilliant to see that there are people that can still succeed and achieve things in the wake of trauma

[@melonlord4889]

Suggestions Americans People with ADHD People with sensory issues

[@chelseafcrocks82]

Yellow jumper pink scarf lady sounds like the most intelligent person I've ever heard

[@jabbersart6218]

its scary that this seems so prevalent in the west, these poor women, and thank you for shedding some much needed light on this subject

[@64372Cheeky]

These females are extremely brave and I upload you all for talking about it. God bless you.

[@mwahhha226]

It’s nice to see that their able to move forward and joke about it. It’s such a horrible practice I can’t believe it happens

[@navymustang4687]

Thing's not to say to adopted people

[@ellaelliott4415]

Yes definitely!! I’ve been asked if my (birth) parents hated me or why wasn’t I wanted so much

[@marinamir537]

I wouldn't forgive my parents after that

[@Anunkindnessofravans]

this is horrific and just sad.

[@katekursive1370]

Horrible. I love these women and my sisters all around the globe with all my heart.

[@lydiaminx666]

This is so sad that these women went through, I did a report on FGM in 10th grade. It's so bad

[@matildaoliver6838]

1:56 omg the girl on the left is beautiful and the women on the right is so well spoken

[@joeldope98thrashed52]

Things not to say to people that Self Harm

[@dizzysaliche3529]

Person: sees marks which are very obviously self harm Person: "whats that?"

[@Indichann]

"yOuRE gONnA rEgRET tHaT u kNoW" Yeah no shit, we aren't doing it for the aesthetic

[@sorchaoreilly2633]

Yeah & include those who have obvious long-healed scars. It might have been a long time ago and they've recovered but don't need people bringing up the past!

[@fritnat]

Go jump in a lake?

[@fritnat]

@@anyaperceives It wasn't advice! it was a suggestion as to what shouldn't be said.

[@thehoneybadger1223]

Things not to say to people with selective mutism (might need whiteboards for this one). "Were you abused" "are you in a mood"

[@georgiacastilla3206]

Such a nice video on a topic which I feel is either ignored or completely understood in the western world. Loved the older lady with the dyed hair

[@georgiacastilla3206]

What?? The misunderstandings people have on FGM and examples of ignorance that this video highlights shows that the full impact it has fails to be acknowledged as to a degree it's IGNORED

[@MoonHeart035]

Them: don't google what it looks like, by the way. Me: ..*slowly backs away*..

[@TheTekknician]

I guess the best approach is by defeating your ignorance about an issue or fact is to ask what questions not to ask, as I just want to understand what it means and portrays in your life. However, I applaud this women for making this topic negotiable. Thank you.

[@bestrafung2754]

Please could you do "what not to say to people with ADHD" if you haven't yet? I think it would be very good. ADHD doesn't seem to be talked about as much as other conditions.

[@chardonnay7495]

The two in the thumbnail are so pretty 🤩🔥. I don't really understand what this is all about but after reading the comments and (not at all) partially understanding Google, I think these guys are so brave 😁

[@talented_introvert]

Could you do “Things not to say to an introvert” PLEASE!!!

[@brokennoodle8731]

Please can you do “things not to say to people with DID or OSDD” -Reyna

[@ljphotography2349]

6:07 "I can have all the zing" 😂 😂 😂

[@A__Mina]

Orgasm

[@ljphotography2349]

@@A__Mina nah shit sherlock

[@lulucho5728]

This is so horrible. Glad they talk about it.

[@dannyr2976]

To be fair, I feel someone compared this to male circumcision is a valid question. What's the point making somebody feel unnecessarily ignorant?!

[@totallynoticarus]

It's not the same thing though. First of male circumcision has no real consequences. FGM, on the other hand, can cause a lot of harm to the woman from constant urinary tract infections and pain during sex to complications with childbirth and fertility. Secondly, male circumcision is performed to promote hygiene while FGM is performed to control a woman's sexuality and prove her virginity. Comparing male circumcision and FGM is like saying breaking your pinkie finger is the same as breaking your leg. They're very different things and of course you can be against male circumcision, but in general that has little to in a conversation about FGM.

[@dannyr2976]

@@totallynoticarus That's the point of my answer, if someone doesn't know a thing about FGM, can said person put that question across without being told they're ignorant or an idiot. Quite a few SJWs (this is NOT a commentary on you, btw!) wanna jump on people, rant, call ignorance because of a genuine question that just warrants a genuine answer, without the _"That's so offensive!"_ line. I admit myself I knew little about FGM before watching, but knew that it is not the same as male circumcision BUT playing 'Devil's Advocate' to those who don't know, and therefore don't want to ask because of the possible backlash response.

[@straighttalking2090]

@@totallynoticarus I can tell you from experience that the female 'cut' does not have to be as severe as the general male circumcision. I think this will depend on the tradition of those who make the cuts. This not to say it is a good thing.

[@charlieviolist]

Well, to the people who've died from male circumcision I would say there were "real consequences" lol. Many other boys have had to have the head of their penis amputated due to the circumcision being botched. @@totallynoticarus

[@candicefrost4561]

No childbirth risk for mgm, and the trauma is usually more severe with more complications for FGM. The power differential between how men control the lives of the girls it is done to and often abuse the girls it is done to. The fact that men are the most likely writers and originators of the idea of mgm and FGM. The fact that a doctor who works on this area of surgery said that to be comparable, the head of the penis, not the foreskin would be removed. What FGM does to someone’s sex life and health in general is worse than males who have had mgm. Some men actually have circumcision done to improve their health or sexual functioning, while this is not really the case with FGM.

[@itme999]

This was very difficult for me to watch, but I'm grateful that you created this video. Thank you.

[@ardenasmr3856]

Don’t make excuses for your piece of shit families ladies deep down everyone has a moral compass and u know when you are doing something wrong they know deep down what they are doing is wrong, no adult in there right mind holds a child down while they scream and cry in pain and think “this is okay”

[@straighttalking2090]

Some do it for their God as in Islam. Refer to the comments by Nomopoly 2 above (sort by newest)

[@localwyrm]

This was such an interesting video. Before this, I'd never heard of FGM, so I did some research. Wow. You guys are so brave. I'll definitely try and speak up about this.

[@habibahmayaa]

such beautiful strong women! we love you all❤️

[@alanah9572]

Could you please do Things not to say to people with ptsd. Thankyou!

[@sorchaoreilly2633]

Yes! And include c-ptsd! Many people seem to think the kind of issues behind C-PTSD "don't count" as "real" trauma. That goes for a huge proportion of traumas

[@elm2908]

Sorcha O'Reilly what’s c-PTSD?

[@sorchaoreilly2633]

@@elm2908 Complex PTSD. It tends to be from a longer term situation that which doesn't necessarily have to involve such a shocking incident as what people usually associate with PTSD. Someone might develop it from an abusive relationship for example.

[@elm2908]

Sorcha O'Reilly ahh ok thankyou for explaining

[@NotQuiteBagel]

I would ask one thing though. “Are your doctor visits specialized to help you and make sure your healthy?” Is that wrong?

[@hhh1234h]

some doctors will help but some will just see and not help. That’s why I’m scared of telling anyone or any doctor

[@melloemarsh8069]

@AmaZing ! I am so sorry for you experience 💔

[@eklectiktoni]

From what I understand, FGM survivors do have to have special consideration during pregnancy and labor.

[@deebus3471]

Thank you for being strong women and talking about this topic.

[@gothshower6693]

Oh my goodnes oh my thats so terrible no one should ever go through that

[@cammartinez5640]

Hey! What about doing an episode of "things not to say to people with chronic pain / illness"

[@keshiasmith175]

I honestly didn't know Muslims did FGM until a couple of years ago. I thought it was only an African thing.

[@Bas_tet]

They literally said it's a cultural thing before Islam and Christianity

[@naimamohamed6231]

I’m not sure why but I get so emotional when this topic is brought up.

[@lordronn472]

Asking if it is a muslim thing is not islamaphobic

[@ApolloCosplay]

This is incredible. I would love BBCIII to do a "things not to say" video on PoTs people. I've got Pots (a condition that has just had its first world awareness day) and I use my youtube to spread awareness. And it's incredible the response I get back from my followers. Some of which have now been diagnosed with pots after listening to me talk about my symptoms. But I have a small channel. I would love to see the BBC cover this and spread the knowledge to even more people.

[@MeE-ij9st]

I’m sooo glad we’re talking about fgm

[@vickygraham2444]

Who is teaching men to think that natural unmutilated women are dirty and unmarriageable?

[@fritnat]

Have you been taught to think that natural unmutilated men are dirty and undesirable? That they are likley to give you diseases, even cervical cancer? Your minimising of male cutting very much suggests it, in which case you know exactly the kind of people responsible for enforcing social norms through such wicked tactics.

[@Little_Lotta]

@@fritnat You’ve really gone off the deep end huh? She never said that uncircumcised men are dirty. Stop putting words in people’s mouths. Western society is becoming far more accepting of uncircumcised men than you think. Societies where FGM is common are not progressing nearly as much as they should be.

[@fritnat]

@@Little_Lotta Vicky Graham has commented on lots of videos and this is far from the first time we have been in an exchange. You should also know that YT, the channel owner and herself can remove comments she has made. I am in little doubt that she comes from a culture where women are taught in the way she writes men are, in her comment. How do you know what I think about developments in Western society? Do you think societies which practice gender inclusive cutting are progressing any less than Western society, when it comes to bodyshaming normal bodies to support the practice? Should we expect Western society to be more progressive? The very term "FGM" is a Western discriminatory one deliberately chosen to make a false distinction between cutting depending on gender and race. Western society aggressively indulges in global cultural imperialism when it comes to cutting, other societies don't.

[@youngpiscesbbg]

Just be happy that they survived

[@TheClaireyboos]

you can do more than just be happy they survived. i want to see an end to fgm

[@deniceandersson7595]

i red a comment years ago something like "but what if u makethe operation sanitary?" facepalm

[@civanlfc4358]

Girl on the right at the start of the video and the girl on the left at 0:09 are both stunning 😊

[@hanian7908]

Civan LFC lmao true

[@iheartigloos]

I think they are all stunning

[@civanlfc4358]

iheartigloos You’re right

[@jediael9906]

How

[@MusicLove852]

Please bring this series back 😩😩😩❤

[@daisyflower1545]

Glad you ladies spoke about this! This is a horrible practice I'm also glad I'm early lol 😁

[@funmisavage]

I never knew it was that bad, the reality is that the whole idea is pretty much normalized back home. Creating more awareness may one day bring the change that is needed.

[@kaylee1769]

Children are having parts of their body cut away without any pain relief, of course it’s horrible

[@noiresoul]

I'm confused, what is it, just a easy explanation, the basics please

[@sosoatypical9836]

Female genital mutilation. An extremely harmful practice

[@noiresoul]

Oh thanks, i had a feeling if i googled it i would get more than i wanted

[@deeproots5727]

Dolapo Not cool this shit (even a picture) can traumatized/scar ppl for life. Suggested images could've easily popup on her search page 😭

[@noiresoul]

That's the reason i wanted the explanation first, i was nervous about what would pull up

[@saff1257]

mutilating (cutting etc) the female private parts. it’s very bad and used to put women off having sex because people are sexist and controlling

[@mickeyfrickinmouse5533]

I had no idea wat this was, this video was so educational, these women are so brave to go through that. I don’t think I would be strong enough, wow, thank u for sharing these stories

[@bigheadbungo]

what is it and why does it happen , im confused

[@ruthmt81]

big head bungo It’s basically when parts of women’s genitals are cut, injured and changed. It’s a way of controlling women’s sexuality. It is extremely damaging, painful and can be life threatening. It is usually carried out on girl’s aged 0 to 15 before they start puberty.

[@bigheadbungo]

ᏞᎪᏌᎡYN. sounds horrible hope they ok

[@professionalyurinator]

Female genital mutilation

[@Niko-bf7nw]

it is done so women cannot enjoy sex, mostly done in middle east and middle africa (neither north or south)

[@fritnat]

It is genital mutilation just as with male circumcision and its done to keep offspring within the community they belong to, for life. Many other reasons are given, exactly the same ones given for male circumcision. As with male circumcision it costs lives especially when it is done in a non medical settting. The only real difference is that it is widely condemned and illegal in most of the world - with the exception of western so-called labiaplasty, whereas male circumcision is widely accepted and legal throughout the entire world.

[@s0f_03]

This terrible practice should’ve been banned centuries ago. Thank you for covering this topic. 🙏🏼💔 Also, the woman with the yellow shirt was so pretty! 😍

[@s.tagerius2514]

I'm not saying that circumcision is anywhere near as bad or as harmful as genital mutilation, but both nonetheless involve removing or damaging a part of a person's genitalia normally without their consent. Therefore, they are comparable in that particular respect but not in terms of the differing degrees of damage both cause. Basically, both are wrong, but one is much worse than the other.

[@s.tagerius2514]

@@emmm_4465 Thank you, I completely agree.

[@fritnat]

So what do you base the terms on for the differing degrees of damage to arrive at your conclusion?

[@s.tagerius2514]

@@fritnat Well, circumcision merely removes the foreskin of the penis without the child's consent, but normally doesn't cause serious or permanent damage in the same way that genital mutilation does.

[@fritnat]

​@@s.tagerius2514 Why "merely"? The foreskin has an area the size of a credit card and contains the most touch sensitive nerve endings on the whole of the male genitals. It also has unique functions protecting the glans, providing a rolling action, lubrication etc. Why do you not consider this serious damage? Why do you consider the loss of the clitoral hood or part of the clitoris, the most common procedures (around 90%) more serious? Male circumcision is always permanent and less possible to rejuvenate than fgm, both are genital mutilation.

[@s.tagerius2514]

@@fritnat Okay, what I should have said is that the damage caused by circumcision is permanent, but not as damaging as genital mutilation. For example, circumcision doesn't normally make sex painful for the recipient, whereas genital mutilation does.

[@zeddpool]

I’d love to see “Things people with dietary restrictions are tired of hearing” ie people with food allergies, food intolerances, and food aversions. Because it’s a surprisingly little discussed topic in these sorts of videos.

[@Binichsoderbinichsnicht]

This is so important

[@merandajazz8344]

I remember seeing a documentary on FGM and it made me sick, the fact that people think this is ok is just - Wrong.

[@lahstories8165]

It doesn't matter if you're female or male. LEAVE👏OTHER👏PEOPLES👏GENITALS👏ALONE

[@fiedelmina]

I like this series a lot. Could you please do "what not to say to a person who is childless not by choice"?