Things You'll Only Hear Said in the Air Force

[@GuthMan95]

Why did you join the Air Force? Because I had a choice.

[@somethingfunny5574]

I literally hate you

[@GuthMan95]

@@somethingfunny5574 I hate me too, buddy.

[@kevinhill3225]

When people ask me why not the Marines.

[@awhs-uc3ng]

So did I! Let 'em hate us. Heh, heh, heh.

[@donaldgoodnight7853]

Best choice. I am disabled. But alive. There is no guarantee of survival. I made it through 2 volcano eruptions. 🤣😂🤣😂where they stick you.

[@alibobobaba1337]

"As you all know Johnny has PTSD from the chow hall not having his favorite flavor of fruit smoothie. He is now being medically separated for this traumatic situation. Also... here's another couple of ribbons for the fuck of it."

[@housepianist]

What a memory. I remember trying to have conversations near the airfield with F-111s taking off.

[@damonw2286]

My old man was an Aardvark Crew chief,...best damn plane,...loud as hell!

[@howardman3926]

F-111s are underappreciated nowdays. Really interesting aircraft

[@_R-R]

@@howardman3926 Fast. Sleek. Hard hitting. Versatile. Almost sexy.

[@timelliott4117]

FB-111 coolest bird I ever saw. I would take a lunch and sit near the runway and watch them land in Plattsburgh NY

[@905SOu]

“Man this pt test is fun”

[@thomashopkins2509]

Don 't know about now but 1982 AF pt was a joke 25 push ups, 25 sit ups and run 2 miles in formation.. My T I's were Sr Airman Glasener And Mr Mecina

[@christianwood1891]

How is pt in the Air Force? I’m not looking for anything like the army man 😦😦😦😦

[@maxog-dr5rl]

Christian Wood easy way out

[@youraveragejoe2]

@@christianwood1891 how's the air force?

[@buddy7485]

@@thomashopkins2509 lol. Cycle ergometry???

[@JoelZWilliams1]

the comment about being late for only being 10 min. early is spot on.

[@screwed124816]

Joel Z. Williams As was the comment about bullets.

[@deamonfly6]

thats in the Marines to but without that stupid paperwork

[@deamonfly6]

Gregory Smith it's a military thing the head boss will be like I need you here by 10 the guy under him would say 9:45 then the guy under him would say 9:30. In the Marines we call it gunny timed

[@whiteshedevil6809]

Gregory Smith yup hurry up and wait

[@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980]

deamonfly6 Man that's so - wrong! No wonder military personnel (of all the service branches) raise serious Cain when you're on leave. If that's the kind of 🐂💩 I had to deal with every day. & not be able to do anything about it. I'd freaking need to blow off a shead load of steam too.

[@stephen6152]

"That's him chief! that's the Marine that called me a fat fucking POG!!" D':

[@billyreynolds4749]

I'm in the Marine Corps and I'm that fatass fucking POG who sits on my lazy ass all day. I don't play with my rifle.. I play with my cock. I also like to photograph pussy...because I am one.

[@stephen6152]

David Kelly under the administration we just Endured, I'm not surprised

[@billyreynolds4749]

+Stephen615 - The thing is...in Marine boot, they brain wash us! They make us think we're all badasses, and we're all tough guys! How wrong they are! The thing is...most Marines are POG's (non grunts). Then again..If it wasn't for air support from POG's...then grunts would be dead grunts. I respect grunts...because someone has to be dumb enough to take a bullet...but you would think that air support (from any branch) would get a Thank You from the grunts! Then again...they're a special breed...of what, that remains to be discussed.

[@stephen6152]

David Kelly ^ words of a triggered POG

[@Asian_Auto]

David Kelly "Someone has to be dumb enough to take the bullets?" You realize most dudes I know that are grunts have a higher ASVAB score than a lot of other guys? It's common sense they lack but lets face it. You don't use common sense by joining the Marines. Common sense says any other branch is better but we say fuck that shit

[@MBWQ321]

Next time ill remember not to be 5 minutes late to being 15 minutes early.

[@danielhaskins7567]

Except they say that in every branch. . . Not just Air Force.

[@emmahstone3106]

He was 10 minutes late, not 5 smh

[@darrylarrington8323]

Obviously you've never been to a preliminary pre-meeting meeting. We had them all the time when I worked for the Department of Redundancy Department.

[@jondstewart]

I’ve been retired 8 years and not much has changed, except deploying with the Army is rare now. The Air Force did joint deployments with the Army on a regular basis around 2005-2012. All those joint deployments, going downrange, and being with a rowdy, gung ho group of illiterates without a filter on them changed very little for us and we’re still a pampered and well-mannered bunch!

[@christianwood1891]

Jon Stewart is the Air Force hard? I mean army is fuck

[@nmelkhunter1]

Illiterate? What in the fuckshit are you fucking talking about? I mean fucking ‘eh already. That’s 11B for, really? Hoooah!

[@blacklight4075]

I wasnt gonna say anything but when the plane flew by in mid -conversation and you have to stop and wait, CLASSIC!!! I am always on time with everyone i know, and i dont get that respect back. I hate that.

[@Kaledrums]

They forgot "Yes, I do have a diploma."

[@aksas6428]

“Dang it I should’ve went with heavies”😂😂😂😂

[@kristawilliams2982]

The jets😂😂😂 Every damn time at Langley

[@joeyjamison5772]

When I was in the Air Force, I heard MANY things that cannot be repeated in public! And they weren't classified either!

[@ilovenoodles7483]

Good one, I know the feeling.

[@buddy7485]

Remember the gay that had to have the hospital surgically remove the shampoo bottle from its rectum hole

[@joeyjamison5772]

@@buddy7485 No, I don't remember that. And I don't want to either!

[@TheRealHypervizor]

@@buddy7485 YES ACTUALLY

[@mississippihiker545]

@@buddy7485 saw same situation, but ( no pun intended) glade air freshener with cap on pointed downward.

[@ericlivingston9138]

The jet fly by is spot on hahaha you have to either scream at someone or just wait for them to pass by

[@infinite_horizon]

The bullets piss me off. I have actual work to do, I can't volunteer every goddamn day just to pad out an EPR

[@jondstewart]

Fulminology Those who do actual honest work retire as MSgt at best. Seniors and Chiefs are those who PCS’d every 3 years, manipulated, networked, and brown-nosed.

[@spaceman5089]

At the end of the day promotion is a test.

[@bradearthman8332]

“Weird how everyone gets paid the same while males make up 97% of injuries and casualties”. That was my personal favorite

[@damnsurfer522]

"I know your the best mechanic we got but you don't have a CCAF so you get a 3 on your EPR."

[@michaelmcgann1814]

The amazing part of air force acronyms is that people use them all the time, yet very few know what the hell it stands for. Ask them, the facial expressions are hilarious.

[@chichan4127]

Now lets get a "Things youll only hear on the flightline"

[@derekofalltrades5494]

chi too R rated for KZbin

[@aren4319]

WHERES THE FUCKEN EXPEDITOR!!!!

[@theminuteman7611]

The answer is nothing. You hear nothing but planes ✈️

[@alexsmith6914]

"Do you have your Competency Card? Can I see it?" (Even after he's checked you everyday for the past 2 months) -Airfield Management

[@tonyperez4791]

That was great . I remember back in the 70's we had 6 F-100's take off every morning at 6 am. wasn't bad in weekdays but on weekends kind of sucked. It was a great time, Thanks for the memories ! T. Perez

[@alldud13]

being in the airforce seems like a normal office job

[@ageusaf25]

Some jobs are, some jobs aren't. Same with every branch.

[@christianwood1891]

Best job in your opinion desk job please

[@voodosforever]

USAF, Analog Flight Simulator Specialist, 1978-82, Tyndall AFB, FL. We were threatened with being made SPs (Security Police), Jet Engine Mechanics or base taxi drivers if we flunked out of tech school. 485 hours, basically qualified for ground school for pilot training as well as electronics. Career field went all-civilian in the ‘90s. Did my four and out the door. I was the last active-duty Airman/Sergeant to complete his four-year enlistment on the last active-duty F-101B Voodoo flight simulator AND at the last active-duty base with the last active-duty Voodoos (and my father-in-law worked in the Special Devices shop developing radar mods and helmet-mounted gunsights using the Voodoo as the testbed.) An F-4D taking off in full afterburners on a hot humid day made those “sounds of freedom” come off like a coffee grinder!

[@veedub447]

Things you only hear in the Air Force. "I can't do PT this month I am transitioning to female"

[@Xxlilg632xX]

Weak.

[@veedub447]

Xxlilg632xX weak? but true and now a part of AF regulations

[@Xxlilg632xX]

So transitioning to female is apart of AF regulations?

[@veedub447]

Xxlilg632xX yes it is, and regulations say they can not be ordered to do PT while transitioning. Defense Secretary Ash Carter announced June 30 that transgender individuals will now be able to openly serve in the U.S. armed forces. In November the Air force secretary stated that U.S. airmen changing genders can now seek temporary exemptions from gender-specific physical fitness tests, uniform requirements and bathrooms, according to a new policy.

[@Leorgo]

Oh wow..

[@TrizerFlame]

Lol. Sooo true. Also beware, never give a supervisor someone's lost CAC; everyone in the military think they can draw.

[@martinkent2822]

Go Air Force! (Former Crew Chief on F-15s with the 1st TFW/27th TFS)

[@BudgetBugout]

So true...

[@_R-R]

Glad I'm not the only person who says CAC card.

[@swampfoxIX]

I was in the Air Force for 4 years and currently a DoD civilian and I definitely do that. All the time. lol

[@_R-R]

@@swampfoxIX WhO tOoK My CAC CaRd?!

[@littleg5664]

The interrupted conversation gave me flashbacks of Langley AFB.

[@theanimationlads7598]

The airplane one is so true lol

[@Ciddschlagg]

I do NOT miss those fricking jets like two football fields away from the 603rd and my living quarters at Aviano.

[@jacknelson7477]

JayredX Thats the sound of FREEDOM!

[@Leorgo]

JayredX I want to join the air force but I didn't think about the aircrafts passing by. I used to live close to an airport growing up and I remember how annoying it was when planes would fly directly above my house.

[@cptmiller132]

+not even going to try putting your name here if you grew up next to an airport then you should be used to it by now... i grew up next to an airport and when i moved i could barely sleep for the next month cause it was too quiet.

[@McManMinecraft]

The planes only fly over when you are trying to do something important or when watching a movie with quiet parts in it.

[@chef9524]

JayredX that’s the sound I would love to wake up to that every single fucking morning of my life

[@TDDummermuth]

Only NONNERS would be annoyed by the sound of freedom!

[@_Matsimus_]

Air Force jokes are literally the LAMEST jokes I have EVER heard in the military.....

[@AllynChristopher]

I love this!! Being a military kid I heard all this before haha

[@fr3qh0pp3r]

If your early, you’re on time. If you’re on time ... YOU’RE LATE !!!

[@CHAOS_6E]

I like the way how we make fun of the Air Force but without them, the Army and Marines wouldn’t have been able to win most of the battles

[@duck5336]

Emilio Chavez CAS doesn't come from just Jets and planes. Most CAS on a modern battlefield will come from helicopters.

[@Stellarnaut]

man it's a good thing army marines and air force each have their own jets and helicopters to call in cas

[@jordanbouma9620]

😂😂 keep telling yourself that.

[@alanhardman2447]

Grease Dog - You sound like a Marine who "don't need no stinkin' air support!" Semper Fi, anyway!

[@brandonmusgrove6294]

Let me introduce you to my friend A-10.

[@kentuckyjustice1408]

Semper Fly, Airmen!

[@genewilkerson8528]

I know Im old when I want to call a Senior Master Sgt Chief because of the 2 upper stripes.

[@voodosforever]

Gene Wilkerson : the “new” stripes look like shyt. Six down and one up and six down and two up... the good old days! USAF, 1978-82

[@jondstewart]

The new stripes came out around 1993. I liked them better because you had to look twice to tell a TSgt apart from a MSgt unless it was blues back when most Senior NCO’s had the rank on the shoulders like officers

[@ilovenoodles7483]

@Gene I hear ya, man!

[@greatfultoday949]

"Break while the jets fly" 🤣🤣

[@vitomccartney]

If you're a nonner, yes.

[@MyMiamiBoyz]

Too funny...Took me back!

[@mannygibbs5429]

Well those two aren't gonna be hearing anything if they don't cover their ears while an F-16 tears a hole through the sky right over them.

[@Renram22]

Lmao the planes 😂😂 yes, and im at Wright patt so there's trains all the time too lmaoooo

[@angra1565]

HE SAID CAC CARD! MAKE HIM RUN LAPS IN FULL BATTLE RATTLE AROUND THE BATTALLION SCREAMING "COMMON ACCESS CARD CARD"

[@IStoleYourBagels]

0:39 Wow, never knew we had invisible watches!

[@FDGQQW]

Yes MP, right here, that's classified information.

[@Mr_Wolfkin]

For the past month we've been working on our Resume for AFJROTC and I can confirm that it is indeed like that, I had to say that when I made a picture frame that I dropped I had "Tested durability levels which were higher than standard"

[@r.l.mcdermid6034]

Ur jrotc u dont know shit civvy stfu

[@thisismagacountry1318]

Go get me 100 yards of flightline.

[@michaelcurtis4937]

I get the joke: Who shows up when Recon, SF, SEAL calls 911? Thas's right! The Big Blue Wrecking Crew! Pararaescue...represent.

[@doidoi8544]

I got separated during Air Force BMT so I guess I’ll never get to experience this in person lol

[@NeonXtremeE]

lol! This couldn't be more accurate! Love it!

[@Petemonster62]

When I was in the Air Force back in the 1980s, a person who tried to avoid work was called a "skate ". Do they still use that term ?

[@bonnbacchus7164]

Nonners be like

[@KujoTV]

We use to show up for our shifts 45+ minutes ahead of schedule.

[@Polar702bear]

Do you know what I heard in the Army? A lot of bullets (as in live fire).

[@richardc6715]

Nice, you must be some kind of badass😎😂

[@VegasViking420]

Bruhh we are.

[@brooksh.6028]

*WHAT, SAY AGAIN!!!

[@rickysnowconez4582]

save some pussy for the rest of us

[@deamonfly6]

Because Marines, Army and Navy dont have aircraft either that fly over head mid conversation :l

[@yeet5146]

deamonfly6 lol they do but not nearly as often. Especially since the marine corps as far as I know only has helicopters for air I dont know of any jets in there.

[@BLUELEADER78]

Jared Leon, Marines have fixed wing as well as rotary wing.

[@BamaShinesDistillery]

But no where near as many nor as many bases.......I have never been to a USAF base that wasnt constantly buzzed.,...

[@deamonfly6]

Every USMC base has a wing element next to them. Also to give you a glimpse of how man aircraft the USAF has the US navy has more aircraft then the air force.

[@BamaShinesDistillery]

The Army has 5,117 aircraft - which is surprisingly high, but the Air Force still wins with 5,199 according to the 2015 Aviation Plan from the Department of Defense. Sometimes, the myth says the Navy has the most aircraft, but even when counting the Marine Corps helicopters and planes, the Department of the Navy comes in third with 3,847. As for watercraft, the Army had the largest seagoing fleet in World War II, but now has only 118 watercraft in total. While the Navy certainly has more vessels than this, nitpickers will insist that most Navy vessels are “ships,” and so the Army could still have more “boats.” Well, the Naval Expeditionary Combat Command has 354 craft (page 6). The smallest are its Zodiac inflatable boats and the largest are its 85′ MK VI patrol boats. Also, there are the 700 craft of Naval Special Warfare, mostly 81-foot boats and smaller. So, yeah, the Navy seems to have this in the bag.

[@PeterPounders]

Worked on flightline and so true. Never able to finish a sentence.

[@chrismiller2501]

This is way too accurate lol

[@brandontomlinson4301]

This is perfect!

[@TheTerrypcurtin]

Hey everyone. It's a fun thing. Some can't be happy. I thought it was great. Semper Fi.

[@keth8947]

"that's a bullet right there." hahahaha That was a good one. Lemme guess, Firewall 5's are still a thing?

[@pritisingh6191]

Happy new year,

[@Wow-cr2ll]

0:15 of all the times you could have recorded that...

[@adamdodda3275]

9:11:01

[@jamesbhollingsworth5452]

Fnord Fnordington Nice one.

[@chrisshields5448]

As an Air Force vet this fucking hilarious...and true. JET MECHANIC here!!!

[@J_Maverick16Aviation]

Very nice!

[@DTG_LOCKETT]

I use to think it was weird that people say CAC card until I was reminded of that people from Boston might get the wrong idea if you ask them to see their CAC

[@Danger_Noodle]

Ah the good ol chairforce

[@Cyborg2101]

Actually we had the airplane problem at MCRDSD for marine corps boot camp

[@virgildoberman33]

I deal with that noise everyday. Live right by a base and research facility

[@richarddaltonbozarthes1575]

at 1:17...how many pens does that A1C need?

[@dwgale01]

If you're aircraft maintenance, you need one red pen, one black pen, and one pencil, preferably mechanical. Grease pencils and Sharpies are optional.

[@setflavius8049]

"hey, sit down and get something to drink"

[@devlynhusband3067]

That fucking bullet 😂😂😂

[@Moodison01]

The jet noise is too real. I’m not even in the Air Force and I have that problem with living a block or two away from McConnell AFB

[@unfortunately_mortal]

0:48 is that a s2000?

[@MartinCooperFilms]

This was actually pretty funny.

[@infiniteflightaviationexpe4042]

I can imagine a knock-knock of "interrupting Jet"

[@alanhardman2447]

Overheard at the Officers' Lounge after a few too many: "Yeah? Well, REAL men don't punch out, buddy!"

[@leslietaylor4458]

I remember my first arrival at Cannon afb (96), had EF-111s and F-16s. I had just got out of tech school where they had T-38s and i thought those were noisy until the F-16 sorties took off

[@tomcigarsmoker8958]

It was the same way when I was in the Air Force. I see things hasn't changed.. Lol.

[@rynor7132]

the epr volunteer and impact on the mission...classic...lol

[@buddy7485]

MOVSM!?!?!? LOL

[@stuartdavis798]

That noise that the airman found so annoying is the sound of Freedom.

[@marioavgherino8383]

I'm truly saddened to know that this is what the United States Air Force has become. Truly sad....

[@buddy7485]

We had a PME instructor that majored in flesh flute.

[@larryjohnston3796]

AFN yeah I don't miss that!!

[@matthewley6783]

"What's another name for spearheaded" 😅😅😂😂

[@alishabanks1018]

Lol

[@larrybaker5316]

I was AF 1968-1971, we didn't use any of that lingo......1970-71 vietnam we used ."whatta gonna do, send me to the nam"....i was 292x1 Morse Intercept Operator...ditty bop to those who may have been in during 1960's

[@Drakeman2003]

1:05 what is that patch above US Air force?

[@Mike-pq8yu]

Drake Burd Occupational badge. They would indicate what job you have, but no one knows what any of them are other than their own, Aircrew wings & the medical badge.

[@BLUELEADER78]

It's so they don't forget what their MOS is.

[@timothydaly8161]

I was in the Navy but grew up in Colorado Springs so I get the jets thing. That made me lmao. We all hate on the Air Force but trust me the Navy isn't far behind. We all fight for the same team but I have a lot of friends who went Air Force. My really old friend is a Captain and a fighter pilot and she is a badass. My other friend got honorable discharged as a sergeant and he loved it, he just got a job a Lockheed Martin so that is the only reason why he left.

[@peterharrison5833]

ROTFLMAO! Especially the "impact on the mission" question! Thanks, guys!

[@Aligums]

I hate it when I'm in the middle of a conversation and of course the roar of jet blast always cuts you off!! 4 times...because there's always 4 take offs smh

[@isis334909]

I actually like the sound of the jets 😂😂

[@sardonyx6500]

I just lost it at 0:55

[@chrisperrywv]

Tape on the cac. lol

[@Thomas-ry9ww]

The clock at 0:15 was that on purpose

[@derekofalltrades5494]

Things nonners have time to do: make KZbin videos about things you'll only hear said in the air force.

[@satyabyers5253]

Too accurate 😂

[@NoQuestions4sked]

Their covers are smooth, their ranks are upside down, AND EVERYONE IS SMILING The Wacky World Marine Corps

[@jondstewart]

Speaking of EPR’s, I heard the system was actually fixed a couple of years ago with only the top 10% getting a 4 or 5 and everyone else a 3. You had numerous people in power declare a 3 EPR was earned for doing your job and a good job. The truth was the average person had all 5’s and maybe a 4 or two in their records and only a serious screw up got a 3 and a criminal got a 1 or 2.

[@_R-R]

Pensacola memories. Blue Angels, close enough to just about be in range for a Nerf blaster.

[@improvisedlines5498]

should have made of video of the sound of chips crunching and people calling each other by their first names.😝

[@JessieWestlake]

This video has 275,000 views on Facebook 😂😂

[@AFNAviano]

+Jessie Westlake Just under 600,000, actually! :D

[@Jean0705Alice]

Omg the jets 😂😂 I hear them everyday.